


Must Love Animals

by smallpersiankitten



Series: Must Love Animal Series [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bondage, Dubious Consent, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fantastic Racism, Female Protagonist, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending?, I mean seriously lots of swearing, Reader Is Not Frisk, Slow Burn, Swearing, Tentacles, love triangle or even square, reader is kinky, slow as fuck burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-30 20:59:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 133
Words: 382,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6440320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallpersiankitten/pseuds/smallpersiankitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You work in Sunset Animal Hospital located in Sunset City, just an hour or so away from Mt. Ebott. Yes, THE Mt. Ebott. The one where the monsters all came from. Your interaction with them had been fairly minimal until the day that two skeletons walked through your hospital doors. </p><p>First story here on the archive! Yay. Papyrus just doesn't get enough love. I'm here to fix that.</p><p>Edit: I have a tumblr: http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/ See a cool undertale photo or have some you want to share? Share it with me. SFW and NSFW are perfectly fine</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Furbrained Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> A note before we continue.  
> You may start reading this and go "Hey, wait, you said reader yet here I see the protagonist has a name? Wtf?" You're right. The reader does have a name although it's not used too often. Because every fic I read in the reader pov, when they go to say your name and I see "_____", that always throws me off a bit. So reader's got a name! But you can change it! You find and replace the name with your own and BAM! Problem solved.
> 
> ~~~~~ = scene/pov/time change

“Uh, can you come up here for a second?” There was an odd inflection in the tone of the voice that caught your attention immediately and you looked up from where you were taking inventory. Cheri had come back to the technician department from the receptionist table. Her normally cheery face seemed worried.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. What’s up?” you asked, putting the clipboard down next to the hospital cat, Tommy. Tommy reached a paw over to knock the clipboard over and you quickly picked the clipboard up and put it in a drawer. “Don’t fucking touch my shit, Tommy, you cute little asshole,” you chided lovingly, rubbing the chubby orange tabby.

“Language, bitch!” Another technician yelled as you walked to Cheri. You flipped your coworker the bird and followed Cheri into the hallway.

“So, we might need some help loading the next patient into the exam room.”

“Dog or cat?”

“Dog...sorta.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Sorta? Are we seeing werewolves now? That’d be cool,” you grinned.

“No, no. That would be kinda hot but no,” Cheri shook her head. “It’s a...monster.”

Both eyebrows were raised. You took a sharp intake of breath. “Really?”

“Well, there’s two. One is kinda a dog. And the other is, er...a skeleton.” There was a moment of silence and then you burst into an ugly snorting laugh. Cheri looked aghast. “I’m serious!! He’s up there in a big blue hoody and fuzzy slippers!” You felt herself tearing up. “He keeps telling this awful jokes and Pam is absolutely no help right now! She keeps laughing at them and I can’t check them in properly.” Cheri tried to look stern but she was failing at it.

“So you’re sending little old me up there instead?” you chuckled, wiping your eyes with the end of your scrub top.

“Little yes, old no. I’m 20 years older than you, sweetie. And Pam’s got 40. Now go march your cute little butt up there and help me with this!”

“No! Not the mom voice!” you gasped in mock horror.

“Get!” Cheri ordered, swatting your butt. You made a motion to run but Cheri quickly caught you. “Ooh! Wait, here’s their check in sheet. I’ve got their names on here. Just try to fit them in a room, please.” You saluted her and began to walk towards the front, taking a brief moment to collect your thoughts.

This was Sunset Animal Hospital, a small practice that saw primarily dogs and cats with the occasional pocket pets. This practice had been going for more than 30 years but in the last year, things had been getting much more interesting. Sunset City had always been lively due to its beaches, shopping, a great downtown nightlife and relative closeness to some hiking trails. It was also 2 hours away from Mt. Ebbot. Yes, the Mount Ebbot.

The appearance of monsters drew people for miles to Sunset City when the news broke out, especially when a lot of monsters began to move into Sunset City. And with more people meant more pets, and more pets meant more business for the vet hospitals in the city. If the office manager hadn’t refused to extend their opening hours, you were sure the hospital would be seeing pets until midnight.

For the most part, people had responded positively to the appearance of monsters. Mostly. There were still some idiots. And those idiots were unfortunately loud. Usually louder than the not stupid people. You couldn’t even chalk up the ignorance to age as you had met dumb people from all walks of life.

A huge smile broke your thoughts as the sound of laughter rang out in the waiting room. Whatever got Cheri all flustered couldn’t be too bad if people are laughing. Laughing was always better than growling. You turned the bend, grabbing a handful of peanut butter dog snacks to shove in your front pocket and scanning the client info sheet Cheri had handed you.

“Alright, I’m here for...Greater Dog?” Your confident shout tapered off as you looked up. Sitting on the benches as best as it could was a the head of a white fluffy dog. The dog was smiling and panting and attempting to lick the wall. So far everything was normal. It looked almost like a Samoyed if you had to pin it to a particular species. And attached to the rest of him was a massive suit of armor. That was not normal. There were smiley faces on the armor. That still was not normal.

The dog looked up at the sound of his name and looked at you eagerly. And then he sneezed. And sneezed. And sneezed again. Your shock was quickly replaced with curiosity as you saw Greater Dog’s behavior. One of his eyes seemed to be squinting and a large metal paw was rubbing his nose. This was not normal. Poor guy seemed to be in pain or at least some pretty intense discomfort. “Why hello there, you handsome guy,” you cooed, “are you Greater Dog?”

“nah, i’m sans,” a baritone voice spoke up from beside her.

“Holy shit! I mean, shoot!” You quickly corrected as you jumped in surprise, quickly turning toward the voice. A figure slightly taller than you was leaning against the receptionist desk, watching you with a wide grin. Your eyes quickly took him in before you could stop yourself. This guy wore a blue puffy hoody and basketball shorts...and yup, a pair of slippers. Nope, alright, that’s fine.

“gee buddy, don’t wanna scare you out of your skin. you’d look like me.”

Pam’s high pitched cackling brought you back to your senses. “Scare you out your skin! Cause he’s a skeleton!” Pam was dying over there behind the receptionist desk. Sans looked like he was enjoying the attention cause he seemed to smile even wider.

You quickly glanced over at Greater Dog. Somehow the dog monster looked even bigger than he was 30 seconds earlier...or was he just closer? You’re sure you would have heard him if he got closer. That smiley faced suit of armor did not appear to have been made for stealth purposes.

  
Sans stretched out a hand. You quickly put on a professional smile, reached for his hand and began your speel, “Hello, I’m Lori. I’m a -” The moment your hand made contact with his, two things immediately happened. One, his hand was all bones. Like legitimately a skeleton hand. And two…

The sound of a whoopie cushion went off and sputtered profusely in the waiting room. You froze. Are you fucking serious? You were about to voice those exact words Cheri caught your eye. The receptionist in her mid 40s was holding up a sign with the word, “PROFESSIONALISM!” Right, no swearing.

“..a RVT. You’ll be seeing Dr. Johnson today so I’m going to get you both in an exam room and I’ll get a history from you and then the doctor will come in.” It was a speel you had practiced innumerable times. Prior to today, it would have been nearly impossible to detract you from this greeting. You could say it without inflection while a client’s “friendly” chow was lunging for your throat, or when another client’s cat had latched itself around your arm. But the whoopie cushion. The whoopie cushion was the killer.

Sans’ grin didn’t seem to falter in the slightest at your perseverance. He looked even more amused than if you had succumbed to the whoopie question. “heh. sounds good. ready to go, gd?” he asked.

You looked over and to your surprise Greater Dog was almost nose to nose with you now, tongue lolling out. How the hell did he get here so closely without you hearing him? “Oh. Hi there.” The dog licked you square in the face. And then sneezed again.  
Pam was prepared and quickly handed you a towel she had stashed under the counter. “The poor little guy has been sneezing ever since he walked in.” Little? You shot her a look like she was nuts.

“Right, let’s get you into a room. Er...Well let’s try to get you in a room.” Greater Dog stood expectantly in front of the doorway to the exam room. Heightwise they were fine, but width was another story. “Um, can you get him to turn sideways...we have a chance if we get him sideways,” you asked Sans who had tucked his hands into the front of his pockets.

“he understands you. you can tell him if you want,” Sans offered helpfully.

“Oh. Cool. Um, hey can you turn yourself sideways? I think we can squeeze you in if you do that.” Greater dog barked happily and complied, launching himself sideways into the doorway...where he proceeded to get stuck.

“heh. it looks like a tight situation.” You chuckled weakly.

“Greater dog, can you pull yourself out?” you asked hopefully. The dog monster struggled for a bit before letting out a sad whine. And another sneeze, “Dammit. Alright hang on buddy, we’ll think of something.”

“yeah, stick tight.” You facepalmed.

The skeleton still seemed to be grinning about all this. You pressed your body weight against the suit of armor and started to push. He budged a little, but you were definitely going to need more help to get in him in. You felt yourself groaning and grunting more than you would have liked. Sans watched you lazily, hands still in his pockets, making no motions to help whatsoever. “Enjoying the view?” You panted sarcastically, as once again put your back against Greater Dog and pushed.

“can’t see that much under your uniform but i’m definitely enjoying the sounds,” he winked at you.

You felt your entire face turn beet red and you quickly turned around to shove forward with both of your hands. “ah, there’s a view,” his deep voice rumbled behind you as you caught him eyeing your butt.

All professionalism was gone. You whirled around to face the smiling skeleton. “I’m going to kick you in the eye sockets if you don’t come here and help me right now,” you threatened through gritted teeth.

“better idea. let me go see if my brother is done parking the car.” Sans snickered and he stepped out.

“Cheri! Go get Tim! See if he’s done helping Dr. Dylan!” you shouted, hoping that the much beefier male technician was available. Cheri quickly nodded and ran towards the back.

“You okay, sweetie?” Pam hollered.

“No, the fucking skeleton was looking at my ass!” you swore, grateful that the waiting room was empty.

“Oh really? Did he like it?” Pam asked curiously.

“Yes? I mean, what the fuck type of question is that?!” you shouted exasperatedly, turning around again and pushing with both of your hands.

“Ooh! Take it as a compliment! Scrubs aren’t that most flattering clothing you know!”

You gave a half smile. “Well it could have been worse, at least he didn’t try to touch it,” you admitted. No sooner had you said it, than you felt something come into contact with your rear. You spun around with a fist and a “You motherfuc-!” Your voice died immediately and your fist came to a stop midswing. “Oh my gosh! Dude, I’m super sorry!!” you gasped.

It was not Sans. It was almost the exact opposite of Sans. This skeleton towered over you by at least a foot. Instead of a poofy blue sweater, it appeared to be wearing some slick white body armor with a red cape. Boots instead of slippers stood steadfastly to the ground. You quickly stepped back only to lose your footing on the floor that had become slippery with Greater Dog drool. “Aghhh!” you yelped, expecting to land on your recently observed tush.

Except you didn’t. Your fall was halted by a pair of red gloves gripping you firmly on both of your sides. Although the skeleton probably intended to grip around your waist, he seemed to have missed and instead squeezed around your chest, pressing your breasts together underneath your scrubs. You gasped in surprise at the sensation of both not falling and the accidental fondle. You caught a glimpse of Sans smirking behind the skeleton, giving a thumbs up.

“Human! Are you alright?” the skeleton asked you in a booming voice, still holding you upright. Your attention was immediately drawn to his “face”. He genuinely looked concerned for your safety or at least as far as a skull could look concerned.

“Yea-yes. I think so…” you began. You chuckled to yourself, “At least things can’t get any worse,” you admitted.

“Pam, did she load the next patient?” an older male voice asked. Your eyes widened and you attempted to straighten yourself out, only to slip again, forcing the taller skeleton to maintain his hold on you. It was too late as the owner of the voice walked out into the wait room.

“Dr. Johnson! Hey! Um, we-uh!” you began helplessly as you attempted to address the mid 30s man who looked at the scene in front of him. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

“It isn’t?” Dr. Johnson asked with a wry smile. Other than the smile, the rest of his countenance was rather enigmatic.

“The patient got stuck!” you explained, gesturing toward the whining dog monster behind you, “And I was trying to push him in and I slipped and uh-what’s your name?”

“The Great Papyrus.”

“Right. The Great Papyrus here-” You stopped and looked up at the skeleton. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yes! Although you may call me Papyrus if it is easier for you.” The skeleton smiled as you registered this information and tucked it away.

“Okay, so Papyrus here caught me and...wait why aren’t you in your office?” You narrowed her eyes at him.

“My office?” Dr. Johnson asked, still keeping the slight smile.

“Yeah! TJ, go back to your office! Your appointment doesn’t start for another 3 minutes!” you realized.

“Oh, my mistake. I’ll come back I guess. Please don’t fraternize too much with our clients though. Save that for after work,” he smiled with a nod before he walked back into the hospital. You groaned and placed yout own hands on top of the Papyrus’ and hoisted yourself up to a stable standing position before gently peeling his gloves off your body.

“Hey, sorry about that, um Papyrus was it?”

“Yes human! And it was nothing really. I am always ready to help others.”

You ignored Pam and Cheri whispering between themselves, catching only bits “What a darling”.

You turned to Papyrus and smiled gratefully. “I would love some help actually. I was trying to get Greater Dog into the exam room but he got stuck. Would you be able to help me get him in?”

“Of course! This is a simple puzzle for the amazing Papyrus!”

“Puzzle? Um, I guess? Yes. Now on the count of 3, push as hard as you can.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very innovative solution for a puzzle,” Papyrus critiqued.

“well it’s a simple solution for a simple puzzle. i’m sure she has more complicated puzzles waiting for you after this one.” Sans spoke up with a wink. Finding the shorter skeleton finally helpful, you mouthed a “thank you” as this answer seemed to placate the taller skeleton.

“Of course! What an ingenious start to a gauntlet! Although I wish you hadn’t give me the answer right away, but I understand you being surprised by my entrance. Alright human! Commence the solving!”

“Alrighty then! On the count of 3! 3….2…..1 PUSH!”

~~~~~

“So how long has the sneezing been going on?” You asked, running a hand through your now sweaty hair.

“Ever since Greater Dog went through some high grass at Undyne’s house!” Papyrus recollected, straightening out his cape? It seemed a bit short to be a cape but you didn’t exactly know what to call it. Sans appeared to have fallen asleep against his brother but from what you had learned, he apparently knew very little of Greater Dog’s activities and was mostly responsible for transporting the large dog monster here.

“You wouldn’t happen to know if there are foxtails at um, Undyne’s home?”

“Fox...tail? I’m afraid I don’t know that type of creature.” Papyrus’ brows became furrowed.

“Oh, it’s not a creature. It’s a plant-”

“Oh! Like a flower? I know a flower-”

“No! Not a flower. It’s like a stick but with sharp pieces on its side. When dogs are smelling the ground, they can get these stuck up their nose. Just in case, has Greater Dog eaten anything this morning?”

“Er...I don’t know. I think Undyne fed him. She’s usually pretty good about taking care of everyone” Papyrus offered helpfully.

“Wait, you guys aren’t the owners...er, I mean.”

Sans woke up with that question because of course he did. “heh. no one owns greater dog exactly but i guess if you’re interested in a master relationship, undyne would be the fish in charge.”

~~~~~

“TJ don’t give me that face.”

“I’m not making a face.”

“Yes you are! I can see it underneath your silence.” TJ, rubbed his temples as he sat in his chair in the office.

“So, from what I understand. This dog may have a foxtail up it’s nose. The only way to make sure is with a nasal scope which requires sedation.”

“And they don’t know if he ate.” You remembered one of the first things you learned with anesthesia. Any species that ate food prior to sedation or any anesthesia ran the risk of vomiting it up in the middle of a procedure. And then asphyxiating and possibly dying on the table. Joy.

“And they don’t know if he ate because they aren’t the owners but rather some fish person named Undyne is in charge of him. So we don’t even have consent from the owner to treat the patient.”

“She technically doesn’t own him.”

“Right.”

You waited for a minute, but TJ didn’t continue. “Soooo….can I go?” you asked.

“Yes. I’m going to have Cheri see if they can contact Undyne after I exam him.”

“Cool, cool. Good luck with that.” Before he could blink, you practically skipped out of the room and headed back into the interior of the animal hospital. You opened the door and nearly ran into Tim. “Oh hey, what the hell took you so long?” You asked irritatbly.

“Sorry, the cat got away from Dr. D and started climbing the walls like some goddamn poltergeist,” Tim apologized. Cats tended to do that. He smiled. “Heard you got groped by a skeleton.”

“...motherfucking Pam.”

~~~~~

You had barely got started on your next project before you heard the sound of shouts coming from TJ’s exam room. You exchanged looks with Tim. “Should we..?” he wavered.

“No. I don’t hear TJ yelling, so I guess it’s okay.”

“TJ never yells.”

“Well, he’s not asking for help now is he?”

As if on cue, the doors separating the exam rooms from the technician part of the hospital swung open and TJ stepped through, followed closely by a still sneezing Greater Dog. Papyrus quickly followed suit, dragging in his brother with one hand and in the other holding a cell phone. “I need you both to start setting up the nasal scope equipment.”

“Sure thing, TJ. Eh, any ideas on what you want to do for anesthetics?” you asked, pulling out a blank chart to write on.

TJ’s usual smile faltered at this. “Actually,” he admitted, “We are not going to use anesthetic.” You and Tim stopped and stared at him. Anesthesia was always required for nasal scoping. How would you feel if someone stuck a long ear cone up your nose and started fishing around with a pair of long nosed forceps trying to pull something with spikes out of your nose? And you had to remain perfectly still because those forceps hurt if they pinch the skin. They weren’t called alligator forceps for nothing.

You and Tim observed Greater Dog who was wiggling just from standing. Papyrus noticed your skepticism and spoke up. “Um, Undyne, can you tell the humans why Greater Dog doesn’t need anesthetic?”

If you thought Papyrus had been loud, Undyne had him beat. A booming female voice literally erupted from the mobile phone. “GREATER DOG IS TOUGH! HE CAN TAKE WHATEVER TORTURE THEY DISH OUT! HE DOESN’T NEED NAMBY PAMPY DRUGS!!!” Greater Dog’s chest seemed to swell with those words.

TJ sighed. “Miss Undyne here feels confident that with some minor restraint, I will be able to perform this procedure without anesthesia drugs. And unfortunately, we don’t have enough knowledge of monster reactions to animal anesthetics to know what dosages would be safe to use.”

Papyrus slapped TJ on the back. “Do not worry! Greater Dog is very well trained! I’m sure he will be on his best behavior. You shall not need any help!”

“oh cool. i like not having to do anything,” Sans spoke up with a yawn. “i’ll catch you at the house later, papyrus.” He gave a thumbs up and a click of his teeth to you who found yourself slightly coloring at the farewell and then stepped out of the doors.

Papyrus quickly opened the door after his brother, yelling, “SANS! YOU LAZYBONES! GET BACK HERE!”

“don’t be too ruff with them, pap!”

Papyrus stomped angrily. “ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOUR PUNS ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!”

“mutt you really hound me, pap?”

“NOBODY ENCOURAGE HIM!”

You took the opportunity to beckon Greater Dog over to you who happily bounded up to you and attempted to lick your face. “No, no. Calm, let’s be calm. We’re going to have you kneel down. Can you kneel down? Ye-eh no that’s no-not quite. I would love to rub your belly but I need you to sit up. Yes. Sit. Good. Stay there. No, belly rubs after I promise. Please sit back up. Yes, plenty of belly rubs. But don’t think about the belly rubs now. Think about being still like a statue. Yes. Perfect.” You attempted to coach the wiggly monster.

Greater Dog was massive compared to the veterinary staff. Tim sweated as he observed him. “I guess if he starts to move, maybe I can lay on him?” he offered, “But I don’t think that will do much,” he admitted.

“I’m heavier than you,” you mumbled, “It’d make more sense for me to lie on him.” You felt an army drape over your shoulder and looked up to see an energetic Papyrus.

“Nyeh nyeh nyeh! I believe in us human!” he cheered.

“ARE YOU GUYS NOT DONE YET??” the phone hollered, “LET’S DO THIS!”

TJ quickly fitted his otoscope with a long cone and knelt down to Greater Dog. “Alright, I’m going to insert the cone,” and he started to slide it in.

Greater Dog immediately started to whine and fidget uncomfortably. Before anyone could act, the phone came alive. “GREATER DOG! YOU STAY PERFECTLY STILL!” Greater Dog froze up and stared straight ahead, finding the wall behind the crouching doctor absolutely fascinating. You braced yourself against one side of Greater Dog while Papyrus took the other. Tim placed his weight against Greater Dog’s rear to hopefully prevent the dog monster from backing up. Hopefully.

TJ flicked on the light on the otoscope and looked up. “Foxtail. Not too far up. He’s lucky. Hand me the alligator forceps.”

“YOU GUYS USE ALLIGATORS?!” the voice exclaimed in delight, “MAN. HUMANS ARE SO BADASS. ALPHYS WAS RIGHT!”

TJ looked like he was about to say something but thought better of it. Which was probably a smart decision. “Alright, I’m about to place the forceps. Greater Dog, this is going to tickle. You need to be very still.”

The sudden intrusion of a slick metal instrument provoked an even higher pitched whine from poor Greater Dog. “STAY THERE!!” the phone ordered, but Greater Dog was still trying to back up. You quickly threw herself against Greater Dog’s body.

“STAY! STAY! GOOD BOY! STAY!” you yelled as you felt him rock underneath her.

“Almost got it,” TJ’s quiet voice mentioned.

Greater Dog’s tail whipped around, almost sweeping Tim’s legs. The monster bucked and you felt herself slipping against the smooth metal. A gloved hand quickly grabbed your wrist and you looked up in relief to see Papyrus grabbing Greater Dog...and overpowering him? Your relief turned to shock as you watched the skeleton with no muscles force Greater Dog’s body back down.

He’s not even breaking a sweat. Can skeletons sweat?!

“Got it! Pulling!”

“NGAHHHH!!!”

“NYEH!!!!”

“GAHHH!!!”

“AWOOOOOO!!!!!”

Everyone screamed in unison as TJ yanked back with a triumphant “Hoo rah!”

Greater Dog collapsed to the ground, whining and panting. You looked up to see the damage. Tim had managed not to get crushed which was good. Papyrus was exhaling sharply. Do skeletons get out of breath? A “hmm” brought your attention to TJ. Clasped in the forceps was the foxtail. Slightly bloody, but intact. You rested your head in silent celebration against the suit of armor as everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

“GOOD BOY! YOU CAN MOVE NOW!” the manically happy woman ordered on the phone. Greater Dog barked happily and to everyone’s surprise, popped out of the suit of armor.

“Did...did he just, are you telling me that he just controls a suit of armor?” Tim’s voice asked incredulously. TJ remained tactfully silent. Greater Dog was almost the size of a larger, much more manageable and easier to restrain dog. He quickly trotted over to you and flopped onto his back, inviting you to partake in the belly rubbing that you had promised earlier. Your hand shakily reached out and began to stroke the dog’s stomach.

“What the fuck just happened?”


	2. Would you like to schedule a follow up with us?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah. Okay, judging by responses and kudos, you guys really like it! Which is awesome!  
> So I made breakneck speed on the second chapter. Updates won't usually happen twice in one day, but I suddenly found an abundance of time.
> 
> Edit: I've added my tumblr account to the story summary so if you find/have any Undertale photos you have wish to share (SFW and NSFW are perfectly fine), I would love to see them! http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/
> 
> On to the story!!

     “Another lint roller?”

     “Yes please.” Cheri handed Tim and you another lint roller as you both attempted to remove the monster fur off your scrubs.

     “I smell like butt,” Tim bemoaned. You snorted. “Seriously, that monster sat on me!” You snorted and laughed again, prompting Tim to roll his eyes. “God, your laugh is just as bad as that skeleton’s laugh. Who even says nyeh anymore?”

     “Aww. I think it’s he’s just darling. You and Papyrus have such lovely laughs,” Cheri said with such sincerity that even the most skeptic skeptic would have to agree. Cheri shot you an appreciative smile. “Ooh, somebody’s got a crush!” Cheri teased.

     “What?” You blinked in surprise. What was she talking about?

     “Look at that smile! I haven’t seen you smile that big in a long time!” Cheri pinching your cheeks.

     You lifted your hands to pull off Cheri’s hands and felt your own cheeks. Sure enough, they were creased from the big goofy smile on your face. You felt the blood rush to your cheeks as you quickly darted your eyes away, finding the ground much more interesting than your coworkers. “So yeah um, where’s TJ anyway?” you mumbled quickly, trying to speak faster than your heart was beating.

     Tim finished lintrolling his left leg. “Oh, he’s out front talking to the angry lady and your boyfriend about plant dangers. I think they’re talking about having him do a house call or something.”

     “A house call? That would be-what did you just say?”

     “Sorry, I meant your bonefriend,” Tim snickered.

     “Tommy, get Tim. Rip Tim’s jugular out. Go get him,” you coaxed the lazy hospital cat. Tommy just yawned and rolled over to allow the humans to scratch his butt. “Eh, close enough,” you gave up and scratched his butt. Tommy purred appreciatively. “Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy! Who’s my little studmuffin?” You baby talked.

     “What’s a studmuffin?” a familiar voice shouted behind you. You looked up at your coworkers’ faces in horror. The traitorous pair were barely containing their humongous smiles.

     You turned around and almost came nose to “nose” with the tall skeleton who had lowered himself down to your eye level. Now that they were only a few breaths apart, you noticed that Papyrus didn’t have any eyes. Or at least pupils. Just two empty black sockets watching you curiously. You could have sworn that you had seen white specks of light at some point during their exchange but now you weren’t sure. You had heard that Monsters had magical abilities. Maybe this was one of his abilities. The ability to conjure pupils as he saw fit. Yeah, that sounded pretty stupid in your head.

     “A studmuffin?” you quickly tried to think of something, anything to lie to the innocent skeleton. And your mind drew a complete blank. “A studmuffin is a term we use to say someone is good looking or handsome.” You heard your coworkers gasp collectively behind you. Well what the hell did they want you to say?

     Papyrus eyed Tommy who was kneading the air with a look that could only could be described as intense concentration. “I see. I see. So this tiny furry creature is the ideal handsome, good looking male?” He reasoned.

     You quickly shook your head, laughing weakly as you heard Tim trying to smother himself from breaking out into hysterical giggling. “No, no. It’s like trying to be funny by saying the opposite of what we really mean. Like a joke.”

     Papyrus’s eyes lit up at the word “joke”. Well, as much as eyes could light up without pupils and scleras. “Oh, I like jokes. But only good ones. Sans likes to tell these terrible ones that are never funny.” He glowered. “I try not to encourage his bad habits but he always finds a way to get under my skin.”

     “Don’t you mean under your bones since you’re a skeleton?” The words tumbled out before you could stop yourself. You bit your lip.

     Papyrus gave you a disappointed look. “Human, I’m disappointed in you but I do not blame you. Sans’ humor rubs off on people if they hang out enough with him.”

     You smiled genuinely. “Well thank you for understanding. I’m sure next time I see you, I won’t have a single bad joke to tell.”

     Papyrus clasped his hands together excitedly. “That’s wonderful! I’m glad Sans did not influence you too much. I don’t think I have the stomach for another bad joke tomorrow.” Papyrus scrunched up his face in disgust at his accidental pun. “Ugh.”

     You blinked, not sure if you heard him correctly. “I’m sorry, did you say tomorrow? Do you have another appointment tomorrow?”

     Papyrus grinned. “Nope! You are coming to Undyne’s place for a housecall.” His grin faltered at your confusion. “Am I mistaken?”

     You recovered, “No, no! I don’t know. I might be. I am not scheduled to work tomorrow, but maybe something changed. I’ll go check with the doctor.”

     Papyrus regained his confident smile and stood up to his full height. “Goody! I shall look forward to seeing you again, human!”

     “Lori.”

     “Eh?”

     “My name is Lori. Um...it might be confusing to keep calling me “human” since there are other humans.”

     Papyrus scoffed. “How is that confusing? I am very good at letting you know I am talking to you.”

     You rubbed your head. “Yes, I’m sure you are. Um, Let’s say you and your brother were standing side by side and then Tim and I walked up to you guys and I said “Hi skeleton”.”

     “I would say “hello human”.”

     “Ah. And what if I was actually talking to Sans?”

     This startled Papyrus. “...why would you talk to Sans?” There was an odd inflection in his voice as he leaned toward you. You tried to ignore it.

     “Do you see how it would be-”

     “Why wouldn’t you want to talk to me?” There was an insistence to Papyrus’ voice that you couldn’t ignore now.

     “Um, I mean, I do want to talk to you,” you stammered, feeling yourself shrink a little under Papyrus’s questions. Why was this bothering you?

     Papyrus seem satisfied with this answer and stood back up. “Good. Then I would say “hello human”.”

     You shook off the uneasiness. “Good. Then I would say “how is your day, skeleton?””

     Papyrus’ face fell. “Human, you do not remember that I am Papyrus?”

     “But you ARE a skeleton, so am I wrong?”

     Papyrus shook his head slowly. “No...I suppose not. I would say “It is good. How are you human?””

     “I’m good thanks,” Tim piped up, catching on. You shot him a grateful wink and watched Papyrus.

     Papyrus appeared to be stumped. “Oh, human, I’m sorry but I was asking the other...human?” Realization dawned on him. “Ah.”

     “You understand?”

     “Yes, I see. So I should call you by your name and I should call him human?”

     “Ah, no. It would be better if you used his name too.”

     “Actually!” Tim piped up, “I like the nickname “Human”. Sounds way better than Tim. It would be kinda fun.” You rolled your eyes at him.

     Now it was Papyrus’ turn to bring a hand to his temple. “This may be difficult.”

     You sighed. “Here, hang on. I’ll help you. Give me your hands.” Pap blinked in surprise but held out both of his hands. You placed your own hands in his gloves and gently gripped them. Your hands were much smaller. He could probably crush all the bones in your fingers if he had the slightest inclination to. You swallowed, trying not to dwell too much on the fact. “S-so. Both words have 2 syllables. Lo-ri. Hu-man.” You gently shook one had at the first syllable and the other at the second syllable. “If you don’t remember my name, it’s okay to call me human, but I would really like if you say my name.”

     “I really like it when I say your name too, Lori,” Papyrus spoke quietly. His face suddenly lit up in excitement. “I did it!”

     “That was perfect,” you cheered. Papyrus broke into an ecstatic smile that you found absolutely contagious. You grinned back at him and noticed an orange tint on his cheek bones. Huh, must be a magic effect of...something. Papyrus hadn’t budged from his spot and was still staring down at you. Um...why is he just looking at you?

     “Ahem!” someone coughed from behind the skeleton monster. TJ stood with his hands in his doctor’s coat, watching the you two patiently.

     The cough brought your back to reality and you realized you were still holding his hands. “Oh! I’ve still got your hands! Ahaha. Sorry, lost my train of thought,” you apologized, releasing his hands. “So tomorrow?”

     “Yes, I look forward to it.” Before you could ask, Papyrus quickly swept you into a giant hug. You gasped, expecting to feel the sensation of hard bones crushing into your chest. But to your surprise, the large skeleton felt warm and solid to the touch. You found yourself slowly closing your eyes, enjoying the contact. You swore you could feel your feet barely touching the ground. Another cough and your eyes shot open to see TJ now almost snickering.

     “Uh, yes, right. Tomorrow,” you spoke, breaking the hug. Papyrus nodded sheepishly, noticing the audience you both had gathered.

     “Yes, thank you humans. And Dr. Human.” With that, he quickly turned, his short cape swirling as he walked out the door.

     You stood there for a moment, still feeling the heat from the hug on your face until you caught TJ’s eye again. “So...I don’t work tomorrow,” you began.

     Now it was the doctor’s turn to look uncomfortable. “Yes, apparently this Undyne person owns or rather is in charge of a couple of dog monsters and, based on our work with Greater Dog, would like to set us up as their primary care physicians. They apparently serve as an Elite Guard for Monster Royalty. Their schedule is pretty strict so they want us to come to their residence tomorrow as it would be too difficult to bring each member here separately.”

     “And I don’t work tomorrow?” You felt your spiciness returning.

     “Yeah...about that. They requested both of us to go to their residence tomorrow. And I can’t make it. I’ve got dinner with the in-laws tomorrow and I’ve already had to cancel once.”

     “Isn’t your wife an emergency vet and doesn’t she bail on her family like all the time?” Tim asked.

     “Yes, but she’s allowed to because she’s their daughter, I’m not.”

     “Alright, that’s cool and all, but even if I was working, which I’m not, I can’t go up there and doing any diagnostic things. I can’t even vaccinate anyone without a doctor,” you reminded.

     TJ held up a hand. “I know. To be honest, none of the practicing doctors here really have a knowledge of monster biology. I wouldn’t WANT to vaccinate anyone without knowing potential side effects or even if they could get the same diseases as regular pets. You would solely be going up there to get heart rates, respirations, temperatures, diets and surveying the landscape for potential hazards. This apparently wasn’t the first foxtail they came across but it was the first that they couldn’t remove on their own.”

     You nodded. That completely made sense. Sorta. Monsters had only been up here for about a year so knowledge was limited. “How are you going to get more info?” you asked.

     TJ almost shrugged. “There’s not many research papers published at this point. Fortunately I’ve heard the university has hired on a Monster on their academic staff. Although her focus is artificial intelligence, she does possess knowledge of monster biology so I’ll be contacting the dean to see if I could set up a meeting with her.”

     “And me not working tomorrow?”

     “I will pay you double.”

     “What if I had a date tomorrow or something?” Tim burst out laughing behind you and you whirled around. “SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH, TIM! WHEN’S THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A SOCIAL LIFE TOO?!” you hollered. Tim quickly stifled his laugh.

     TJ raised an eyebrow. “I’m assuming that would be unlikely based on Tim’s response.”

     You sighed. “Fine, I’ll do it. Where does she live?” TJ rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a sheet of paper which you snatched out of his hands. Your eyes widened. “TJ, do you know where this is?”

     TJ looked concerned for a moment. “No, I haven’t seen the address yet. Listen, if it’s a bad neighborhood, you can borrow my car if you’re worried about something happening to your mini.”

     You shook your head. “No, that’s not it. My car is not good enough for this place.” You felt Tim lean over your shoulder and let out a whistle as he looked at the address.

     “Summer Hills? The screaming lady lives in Summer Hills?? Oh man! That’s so cool! You totally gotta clean your car,” Tim advised.

     “I probably should. There’s pet fur all over it,” you agreed, looking at the address again.

     “You should probably clean yourself too,” Tim teased, “you’re just as bad as your car. I can’t believe that skeleton hugged you.”

     “Love clearly has no boundaries,” TJ said with a straight face as he sat down at the computer near the technicians. Tim started laughing again.

     You felt your cheeks burn again but couldn’t think of any clever comeback. You settled for smacking Tim in the arm with the stethoscope. “Owww!” Tim frowned, rubbing his shoulder, “That hurt.”

     “Hey,” TJ admonished, “If you keep hitting that against things, I won’t be able to hear anything with it.”

     You put on the stethoscope and placed it against Tim’s arm. “Good news, TJ. It still works. I can still hear Tim being a whiny bit-!”

     “Language,” Cheri sang as she walked back up to the receptionist area.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit as of 3/26/17: Because of the amazing outpour of fanart that this fic got, I've been originally just linking the fanart at the end notes in the order I received them. But then some of our new readers are missing out on artwork that is drawn about much earlier chapters (Like writing about Chapter 12 when everyone is on Chapter 75). So I'm going to edit ALL the end notes to organize artwork by chapter (Which by this point is 90 chapters). In addition, artwork that is drawn for particular chapters, even if it didn't exist at the time the chapter was posted, I will go ahead and put links in the end notes) 
> 
> Uh, however, I'm not going to change the beginning notes which announces when new fanart is made. That's a lot of work. lol.


	3. Current Events are Spooky (Art)

      A few hours later, you found yourself pulling into a car wash downtown. The attendant ran up to you as you got out and blanched when he looked inside. “Ma’am, did a rabbit explode in your car or something?” he asked, observing the damage.

      “Oh yeah, a whole pack of them. It was impressive. All self imploded at the same time,” you chuckled, giving him the keys. “Whatever you can do would be awesome, but trust me I’m not expecting miracles.” The guy nodded appreciatively and drove your car up while you walked inside the car wash’s waiting lounge. You glanced at your phone. 7:30? You’re surprised these guys are still open. The sun was already setting. You found an empty chair and sat down, groaning slightly.

      “Oh beautiful chair, you feel so good on my butt,” you mumbled. You glanced around. It was pretty empty save for a one or two people waiting for their cars. “Thought it would be busier,” you thought aloud.

      “Ya just missed the rush,” the employee at the desk mentioned, “We usually get busy between 3pm to 7pm. People come to spruce up their cars before they go on dates, especially on a Thursday night.”

      “Ah yes. Dating. That sounds nice,” You smiled halfheartedly. You made a mental note to go check your online dating profile when you got home. You hadn’t even considered online dating a week ago, but Cheri had really pushed you to do it. The receptionist had met her current boyfriend on it and was loving every minute of their relationship so far. You had posted a picture of yourself in scrubs since that tended to be what you wore 80% of the time, although you were sure you had other clothes buried somewhere in your closet. That scrub pic had been a good call you learned the next day. It tended to filter out a lot of the perverts. Unfortunately that meant that you had 0 messages as of yesterday. Being average and wearing scrubs was not exactly Scarlet Johansen desirable.

      The television caught your eyes and you focused your attention on the suspended square box on the wall. The female news anchor looked quite serious.

      “In other news, police still have no leads on the identity of Sunset’s notorious serial rapist, nicknamed the Roofied Rapist. Another victim has come forward this morning but was unable to provide any identifying features about the man who assaulted her.”

      “Or monster,” the other male news anchor offered, “DNA evidence has so far been inconclusive.”

      “Indeed,” the female journalist agreed, “However at this time, the police have no reason to suspect any member of the monster community is responsible and urge all citizens to remain calm and just be aware. Chief Wagner of the police issued a press conference with some tips and guidelines to hopefully prevent another woman from becoming a victim.”

      “One, be aware of your surroundings. Travel with friends or if you have to go alone, notify a friend or family member of your whereabouts. Two, if you don’t know someone, don’t get into their car, don’t go over to their house alone. Meet new people in public places during daylight hours. Three, if you decide to carry personal protection such as pepper spray or a taser, make sure you are aware of how to safely use the device. Failure to use these items correctly may cause you to accidentally incapacitated yourself instead of a possible attacker.”

      You looked at the pink pepper spray can attached to your key chain. This was a recent addition to your personal belongings based on current events. You shuddered slightly and kept listening.

      “And most importantly, if you are out at night, be extra cautious of your surroundings and make sure you are not being followed. If you feel that your life is in danger, we advise that you get to a safe place, barricade yourself and call the police. We do not encourage citizens to confront possible assailants unless absolutely necessary.”

      You sighed and ran your fingers through your curly short hair, attempting to braid some of the longer strands out of boredom. Your hair was starting to get long enough that you could pull your bangs over your eyes. You twisted one lock around your finger as the news story continued.

      “Do the police have any modus for the Roofied Rapist, Bev?”

      “He tends to target women from as young as 18 to as old as 29. There appears to be no underage victims or if there are, they may not have stepped forth. Police can find no similarities between the women as far as appearance nor nationality, these crimes appear to be one of opportunity and not premeditated. The criminal utilizes both chemical and mechanical means of incapacitating his victims based on victims’ memory loss and what police believe are rope bruises from being tied down.”

      Your head snapped back up at those last words and your eyes widened as pictures of bruised wrists and ankles flashed across the screen. Purple and black skin showed where ropes had been drawn too tightly on these women, cutting off circulation and bruising the skin. Your eyes widened even more when images of victims’ necks flooded the news segments. Bruising where rope and hands had gripped too roughly around these womens’ slender necks.

      “Police believe this Roofied Rapist may be an expert in the BDSM fetish based on the markings on the victims.”

      “Oh that’s fucking bullshit!” you swore angrily.

      “What’s bullshit?” the cashier asked, almost dropping her phone in surprise at your sudden outburst.

      “That motherfucker isn’t some expert in BDSM. He’s a fucking noob.”

      “Uh...why do you say that? Isn’t BDSM just tying someone up and beating the shit out of them?” the cashier asked, eyeing you curiously.

      You groaned and rubbed your temples. “Alright, so the biggest thing with BDSM that people forget is that everything happens with consent. Two adults are consenting to do something. They have safewords and limits in place and they are supposed to stop immediately if they hit those limits or someone says the safeword. The second the safeword is ignored or a limit is pushed, it is no longer BDSM. It is torture and rape and it should be called such. You with me?”

      The cashier nodded. “Yeah, I agree with you on that point. Someone should tie this guy’s nuts until they turn just as bruised as those women.”

      “And that’s the other thing. BDSM doesn’t necessarily lead to bruising unless the person being bound wants to be bruised. A BDSM “expert” will not bruise people. They ask if the bindings are too tight and they use certain types of rope to prevent burns and bruises. Someone who bruises up women like this is just some overeager fuck nut wanting to feel more powerful by taking beautiful women and treating them like toys because they are a huge fucking pussy in real life.”

      The cashier whistled. “And I thought the rest of my night was going to be boring but now I’ve got this to mull on when I go home tonight. Gah.”

      You felt yourself blush. “Yeah, uh sorry. Just a pet peeve I guess.”

      “I feel ya. I get really pissed when people chew hard candy right in front of me. It’s called HARD candy? You don’t bite it, you fucking idiot. You suck it until it’s gone!”

      “Uh, is Lori here?” Both you and the other women jumped at the surprise and quickly looked to the entrance of the lounge. The male attendant from earlier was standing there, looking like he wanted to disappear into the wall. “Her car is done.”

      “Oh yeah, sorry, that’s me,” you apologized, “you literally walked in on the weirdest part of our conversation didn’t you?” The male attendant laughed nervously, handed you the keys and quickly departed to help the next customer. “Man, I hope I didn’t get you in trouble with your boss,” you said.

      The cashier laughed. “You kidding? I am the boss.”

      “Oh awesome.” You walked over to your cherry red mini and looked in. “Dammmmnnn. I didn’t know my floor was black!”

~~~~~

      It was dark by the time you got to your one bedroom apartment. You pulled into a parking spot, grabbed your bag and ascended the nearby flight of stairs. You reached your door and was starting to unlock it when your neighbor popped out. “Hi ya!” she greeted.

      “Hi Kaylie! How was Utah?”

      “Oh it was awesome. Got to hang out with the family, the boys got to see their cousins and our flight was on time for once!” the blonde blue eyed girl gushed.

      “Sounds good,” you smiled, “Did Jethro manage to sleep through it?”

      Kaylie laughed good naturedly. “I can’t believe how deep that man can sleep. I swear if we’re hit by a tornado, he might stir when the roof flies off,” she winked. “Ooh! I got you something as a thank you for watering the plants! Wait here.” The woman ran back inside and quickly ran back out with a bottle of, to your slight disappointment, non alcoholic apple cider. “Here you go!”

      “Daw, thanks,” you thanked, adjusting your load so you could take the bottle from Kaylie. Kaylie eyed the pink pepper spray worriedly.

      “Pepper spray?”

      “Remember that rapist dude we were talking about before you left?”

      “Yeah-ohhh. Wow, I should have Jethro pick me up some too. I can’t believe someone would do that.” You shook your head and put your keys into your door knob. “You knowww, we might be heading back up to Utah in a few weeks. If you ever want to come with us, I know there’s some cute Mormon boys who just finished their missions.”

      “Oof. Pass. Pass,” you eagerly declined, “I’ll take my chances with the online dating. Worst case scenario, I’ll get a cat or two...or seven.”

      “Alright, alright, offer still stands. Have a good night.”

      “You too.” You pushed the door open and dropped your stuff down, being careful not to break the glass bottle. Unlike your car, your home was actually somewhat put together. There was an order, even in the chaotic parts of the one bedroom apartment. You stripped off your scrubs in one fluid motion and tossed them into the laundry hamper. You were too lazy to put on pants so you wandered through the apartment in your sports bra, black tank top and underwear. You trudged to the fridge and opened it.

      “Ah, shit, the milk expired,” you realized, tossing the funky smelling beverage and grabbing an alcoholic lemonade. You grabbed some left over pizza and popped in it the microwave for a minute or two before plopping yourself on her couch. You chugged half the bottle in one satisfying gulp before grabbing the remote. You flicked on the TV and One Piece popped up almost at max volume. “Fuck! Too loud! Too loud!” you yelled, quickly turning down the show to a suitable volume.

      A wave of nostalgia hit you as you watched a few minutes of Luffy talking. “Man, I can’t believe I used to co president of a high school anime club,” you muttered to yourself as you watched. High school hadn’t been the best time of your life, but you definitely had some fond memories, one of those running the only anime club in school. Well sorta running it. You were playing tennis full time as well so it was hard to evenly split your time between the two activities. That’s where Butterbear Jeremy came in, the other co president. And no, he did not ask for the nickname.

      Jeremy handled the tech, got the anime, got the permission forms signs and rented the rooms. You meanwhile were good at drawing attention to the club, getting and retaining new members. You also found yourself serving as the off and on bodyguard for members of the club, especially Jeremy because there was nothing more tempting to a jock than a pudgy, sweaty acne covered boy with a nasally voice trying to roll a television down a hallway all by himself. The club dubbed you a knight in shining armor. Except instead of armor, you wore a skirt and instead of sword, you carried an orange Wilson racket that made nice square imprints on peoples’ faces.

      “Although if Papyrus and Greater Dog were the norm, those suits of armor and swords might be making a comeback,” you chuckled. You briefly considered looking up Jeremy on facebook but decided against it. You hadn’t spoken to the guy in 7 years and hadn’t watched anime in about 5. You hadn’t kept up with a lot of people from high school actually. You settled for changing the channel and stretching out over the cushions. America’s Funniest Home Videos. Nice. It was a repeat. Not nice.

      “Maybe I’ll just watch some porn,” you mumbled sleepily to no one in particular. You got up to check the door. Locked. Excellent. “No repeating what happened last time I left the door unlocked.” You got a little too loud one time and Kaylee in her concern opened your front door asking if you were okay...and it was just awkward. You yawned. “I wonder if the monsters have made porn videos yet,” you wondered.

      You thought about it. “I wonder if there’s skeleton porn,” you giggled, dragging your laptop to your lap and opening it up. The sound of a woman loudly moaning hit your ears and you quickly hit mute before she could moan again. “Fuck, I gotta remember to close these tabs when I’m done,” you swore at yourself, watching the muted video. Even without the volume, the sight alone was enough to put wanton shivers down your spine. A woman was handcuffed to a bed, moaning in pleasure as her hunky lover made love to her. You found yourself becoming aroused watching the sensual lovemaking until the man placed his hands around the woman’s neck and began to strangle her. You found your arousal plummeting as the man intermittently choked the woman as they made love. You wavered on whether to continue or not until the man reached down and bit her on the neck. “Mood gone!” you gasped, closing the tab abruptly.

      You couldn’t help it. You found yourself aroused by the bondage part of BDSM but completely repulsed by the sadomasochistic part of it. Restraint was fine. Bruises and pain were not. Your method of thinking confused men with whom you had been sexually active with. Trying to explain that you didn’t have to like all the aspects of the BDSM culture in order to be interested in bondage was much more difficult than you anticipated. So you didn’t bother to tell anybody about it or even talk about it. Well until today. You were surprised that you had actually gotten very vocal about it in the car wash station. You debated whether your encounter with Sans and Papyrus had probably triggered the outburst. You weren’t used to being checked out and subjected to accidental sexual assault at work very often. Even if you were to have reciprocate, the office had a general no fraternizing with clients policy especially during work hours, although some coworkers had gotten around it with permission from the office manager. You generally followed this rule although you did engage in the occasional flirting if the circumstances were right - a hot, single man with a puppy or kitten were always the right circumstances.

      “What was I looking up again? Oh right. Monster porn.” You were about to google this term fueled by inebriated curiosity when you saw an email notification. You huffed, dragged the mouse to the inbox and clicked. You stared at the email title for a few moments. “You have been messaged by a potential match,” you read aloud in disbelief. You looked at her drink suspiciously. “Bullshit,” you muttered, already logging in to your online account.

      You stared at the online dating website in disbelief. There was a message alright. You clicked on it. “Hi there! This is going to seen kinda forward but could I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?” you read aloud. You looked at the tiny icon next to the message and clicked it to bring up the guy’s profile. Your jaw dropped.

      A tanned shirtless hunk of a man smiled back at her. He was outside somewhere, the wind ruffling his stylish blonde hair. Baby blue eyes sparkled magically in the sunlight. And in his hands was a puppy. A goddamn squishy Labrador puppy. You looked around warily.

      “Alright, who is fucking with me here?” You swore, racking your brain, trying to think of anyone in your life who would be cruel enough to play a sick joke like this. But your mind was blank. Anybody you had in your life like that was no longer in your life for that very reason. You read the rest of the profile, your jaw nearly dislocating from your skull. The term “working out” was only mentioned once. The rest of the profile was peppered with phrases like, “I like to watch movies and cuddle.” and “I’m a romantic.”

      You went back to the message. It had only been sent about 15 minutes ago and the guy was still online. “Huh, well, here goes nothing,” you grinned. You quickly typed a response. “Hey, um. Are you a real person or are you trolling right now?” You hit send. You barely had enough time to take a sip before your computer pinged with a new message.

      “I’m real lol. I like to eat food like real people do. Want to eat food with me, fellow human?”

      You stared at the message, feeling yourself giggle. “Prove it. Draw me a picture of a monkey playing a keytaur riding a unicorn.”

      “Lol, okay. that might be hard. Give me a few minutes.” You finished off the pizza and took your dish to the sink. The beverage followed soon after and you plopped back down. A few more minutes passed. Finally the computer pinged again. A message with an attachment. You eagerly opened it.

      There sat the same man from the profile picture holding a piece of paper with a crudely drawn but acceptable keytaur wielding monkey riding atop a majestic unicorn. The unicorn even had a rainbow coming out from its butt. The man was smiling and giving a thumbs up. Another message popped up. “I know you didn’t ask for a rainbow, but I figured you wouldn’t mind if I took some creative license with your suggestion.”

      You laughed much harder than you intended in the empty apartment. “That is amazing,” you admitted, “Alright. You’re clearly real. What did you have in mind?”

      “Do you like Chinese food?”

      “I LOVE CHINESE FOOD!!!” you wrote back too enthusiastically and hit send. “Er, I mean it’s alright,” you added without the caps lock, “have a favorite place?”

      The response was immediate. “Lol. Feng Shui off Huston Ave. 6pm?”

      This was too real too fast. You were hesitating. You just saw the reports on television about not meeting up with strangers and here you are about to go on a date with one and you haven’t even asked his name. You contemplated this bit of info. But when was the next time you were going to go on a date with a 10? You settled for writing the following: “I’m going to copy your photo and tell a friend where I’m going tomorrow so if you end up being a murderer or something, I’ll be avenged, okay? ;)”

      There was no response for a few minutes. You got up and stretched. “Well, I’ve officially scared him off. Time to look up skeleton porn,” you chuckled. You paused mid stretch as your computer pinged again.

      “That’s a good plan. I’m texting my mom right now and letting her know where I’ll be going tomorrow so I will also be avenged in the case that you harvest my kidneys.”

      You choked on your own spit and laughed. “Alright, fair enough. What’s your name btw?”

      “Prince Charming. Yours?”

      “Banana Rama.”

      “Excellent. I look forward to seeing you. The reservation will be under Banana Rama.”

      You felt happy. Bewildered but happy. The sleepiness was gone as you clicked back on the profile of the guy. “This dude’s seriously a 10,” you gaped. You glanced once more at him before observing yourself in your sexy granny underwear and tank top with a hole down the side. You were a 6. Maybe a 7 and a half if you counted your boobs and butt. You grabbed your chubby thighs and tsked. “Doesn’t matter,” you smirked, “this chunky monkey’s got a date with a stud. TJ can go suck a lemon.” Your smirk dissolved. “Oh shit! TJ! I have to work tomorrow!” You scrolled to the open chat window but the guy had already logged off.

      “Shit shit. No. Wait, it’ll be fine, I can do this. Housecall at 2pm. I’ll finished by 5 at the latest. I’ll bring a change of clothes...and maybe perfume. 2 lint rollers just in case. Change in the car and be good to go. You got this Lori. You got this! But first…”

      You stood up and knocked on the wall. “Hey Kaylie!”

      Your neighbor’s muffled voice piped up from behind the wall. “Yeah?”

      “I got a date tomorrow. We’re going to Feng Shui tomorrow around 6pm. I’m going to text you a photo of him in case he’s an axe murderer or something. So you can like avenge me or something.”

      “Sounds good! Make sure to scream really loud if you bring him home and he tries to off you in your home.”

      “Thanks Kaylie! Will do. Good night!”

      “Good night!”

      Satisfied, you walked back from the wall and into your bedroom. “I know I have date clothes in here somewhere. Probably buried behind the scrubs…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guarantee our sweet skelly will be making an appearance in the next chapter, but for now, yay more backstory.
> 
> Artwork  
> 
> 
> [You've been messaged by a potential match!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/154457651419/this-is-fan-art-for-the-lovely)


	4. Housecall

     Sunset City was huge. No really. When a city can have it’s own downtown, coastal beach, suburbs and an upper class ritzy neighborhood and be within reasonable driving distances of hiking trails and national parks, you know it’s huge. And when that same city happens to be the closest thing to civilization to the infamous Mt. Ebbott, well, popular doesn’t even begin to describe this place.

     You had never been to a monster home. You didn’t really see that many monsters. Except for the three you met yesterday, you couldn’t recall a single monster you met. It probably didn’t help that you didn’t really go out much these days what with the hospital being so busy. But now…

     Your car was in park as you double checked your phone GPS with your surroundings. You were at the entrance of Summer Hills, home of the wealthiest, most famous and most educated citizens around. A security booth was planted between the entrance and exit gates that appeared to be gilded gold. Past the entrance, there was small mansions built along the winding incline of the green hills. Keywords being “past the entrance”. You eyed your passenger seat, registering your spare bag with a change of clothes and the other bag full of supplies - paper, pens, stethoscopes, thermometers, gloves...lube. You were wearing scrubs and had your RVT license on you along with a letter from the hospital stating your purpose and identity.

     You put the car in drive and slowly pulled up to the security booth. A pudgy guard lounged in his chair, watching a baseball game on a portable television. You tried to see who was playing but was unsuccessful. “Hey who’s winning?” you called out.

     “It’s a tie at the moment,” the guard mumbled. He glossed over you lazily. “Name and who are you planning to visit?”

     “What, you don’t think I live here?” you gasped overdramatically. The officer didn’t even crack a smile. “Right, right. Um, I’m Lori. I’m an RVT.”

     “What’s that?”

     “Registered Vet Tech. I’m here to see er...hang on.” You quickly reached over to your papers and found the address again. “I’m not sure I’m pronouncing it right, but Ooohndeeneee? Or Uudeene? I’m not quite-.”

     An immediate change hit the guard like a car hitting a wall of breaks. He paled and quickly jumped up to his feet in a salute. “Mistress Undyne?!

     “Yes, that sounds right. You know who that is?”

     The guard looked panicked. “Yes of course! Absolutely. Let me get that gate for you!”

     “Mistress Undyne?” you questioned as you watched the guard pull the lever to swing open the gate.

     “Please let Mistress Undyne know that I was definitely not slacking off. I was doing the jumping jacks training just like she requested. One-two-three-four,” the guard panted, breaking into jumping jacks inside the booth.

     “Oh, yeah sure thing dude. Thank you for the gate,” You thanked but the guard was already exercising like his very life depended on jump jacking and did not respond. You drove in slowly, the guard’s counting being drowned out by the sound of your phone spewing out further driving instructions. “Mistress Undyne,” you chuckled to yourself, “Last time I heard someone get called a mistress, they were dressed in a leather bodysuit and were whipping some dude chained to a table.” You found your chuckle dying down. “Uh...that might be kinda awkward.” You drove through the opening gate and started up the hill.

     You whistled and oohed at the houses as you passed. Some of them had statues of angels and cherubs lined up in front of their steps. Others had large ornate fountains. The glitz and glamour sure was shiny, but definitely nothing you could ever even hope to afford. Although your own occupation made well over minimum wage, you would never become a millionaire. But it put food on the table, a roof on your head and some extra cash left over to build up a nest egg and that was good enough for you. “My only chance to get up here is if I shack up with some sugar daddy or marry someone from the yacht club...neither of which sound that cool though.”

     “You will reach your destination in 600 feet,” your phone chirped helpfully. You started craning your head around to catch a glimpse of the home. As you neared, you couldn’t help notice the nearby pedestrians who walked in the opposite direction of her destination. They looked nervous. “Huh, never seen a dude in a pop up collar actually run away in absolute terror before,” you mentioned to the phone. The phone did not respond except to tell you that you just passed your destination on the left.

     You flipped a U and parked in front of a wooden fence. “Oh. Wow. This is just...wow…” You sat in the car and just gawked. You had parked right in front of a grassy pasture that would fit several horses quite comfortably had this been a normal rich person’s home. But this was not a normal rich person’s home. Nor was it a person’s home per say.

     A gauntlet style training obstacle spread out across the entire field. There were rope bridges, swinging axes, monkey bars, sand traps, massive walls and a tower with a zipline. Various weights and boulders were either strewn about or currently used by both monsters and humans alike. Your eyes widened as you watched two dog monsters throw a boulder the size of your mini to each other like two children play hot potato.

     You turned your attention to the house and was surprised it was still a fairly normal human looking house. Well for a mansion at least. You saw more pedestrians quickly jog/sprint past this house again, as if their very lives depended on avoiding this house. You were about to chalk it up to monster racism when you noticed the array of weapons, sharp rocks and weights littering the ground outside of the property. The houses next to this home had their windows facing Undyne’s home installed with safety bars and most likely bulletproof glass. You gave an understanding “Ah, more of a legitimate personal safety thing,” you reasoned, leaning over to grab all your bags from the passenger’s seat.

     You shut the door and walked up the front door, avoiding a blue spear strewn near the door mat. You rapped the door and waited. And waited. And waited. You were about to rap it again when it opened a crack. A pair of eyes peaked out from the crack.

     “Oh-h-hello. Can-can I help you?” she asked nervously? At least you thought it was female.

     “I’m Lori. I’m from Sunset Animal Hospital. I’m here to start the Guard Dogs charts for the hospital,” you tried to smile disarmingly.

     “Oh. Undyne said we should expect you. I thought you would be, um, bigger.” You raised an eyebrow but the eyes didn’t seem to catch it as they looked away to unlock the door the rest of the way. You shrugged it off as the door opened to reveal a yellow dinosaur in a lab coat. “I’m sorry, I just got home from work so I haven’t er changed. Um, please come in, I guess. I’m Alphys.”

~~~~~

     You and Alphys sat on opposite ends of the wooden table. A heavy silence permeated the air between them. You had been sitting in absolute silence for the last 7 minutes, both of you looking around anxiously. You coughed.

     “Did-did you say something?”

     “Ah, no, I just coughed.”

     “Oh, okay.” Alphys looked out toward the yard. “Undyne should be coming to a break soon. She’ll come in then.”

     “Cool, cool. That’s uh cool.”

     The silence returned. A few more minutes passed. You noticed a dip in the wood table in the middle. Almost like someone smashed in the middle of the table and then tried to warp it back to being straight...or maybe you were just imaging that. You could only study your fingertips for so long before your imagination started going. You cleared her throat, startling the yellow dinosaur who quickly pushed her glasses back up on her nose. “So, um...what exactly is the yard?”

     Alphys glanced back over toward the yard. “Oh. Well when we got to the surface, Undyne thought it would be a good idea to still keep the Royal Guard trained even though we got up here. I mean, humans in general have been very friendly but there are a few who are-ah...not. So the Royal family continue having her train monsters since she was Captain of the Guards.”

     “Ah, I see. I see you guys have some humans?”

     “She made this training course. Trains your endurance and strength. Her course attracted some attention from our neighbors and they..er..complained. The police showed up and Undyne challenged them to get through the obstacle course and she’d take it down. They, um, didn’t make it.” She laughed nervously, “It seems the police captain thinks a lot like Undyne and now new recruits for the police are sent here as well. The neighbors don’t complain anymore though. There’s um, competitions sometimes. Everyone kinda gets carried away sometimes...” Her mind seemed to trail off. The look on your face made Alphys stutter. “OH! No-nobody gets hurt! They just get a little overzealous, that’s all.”

     You chuckled. “So it’s not a torture challenge?”

     “T-t-torture??” Alphys looked horrified. “No-no. Everyone is here on the own free will!”

     “I’m kidding! I’m kidding,” you held up your hands. “Honestly, that obstacle course looks just fine. As long as you guys don’t add a volleyball net, it’s alright by me.”

     There was a pause. “Eh...a volleyball net?”

     “Or anything relating to volleyball. I hate volleyball.” The look on Alphy’s face made you feel slightly self conscious at the admission. “Oh. Ah. I am really really bad at volleyball. I never could get good at it, no matter how hard I tried. It always blew up in my face. Blam, instant failure everytime. Everyone else seemed to be really good at it, or at least not suck. You ever feel like you’re the only one who’s a failure while everyone else around you is totally cool?”

     Alphys shifted her eyes. “Oh you have no idea.”

     “Exactly,” you clapped. “That’s me and volleyball. Thank God for tennis and the anime club else I would have gone nuts with everyone loving volleyball so much.”

     You felt a noticeable shift in the atmosphere. Alphys appeared to be what you could kindly call, intense. “Um, did you say anime...club?” Alphys asked breathlessly.

     “Y-yeah. This guy and I used to run the club in high school. We’d get a group of students together and watch anime,” you sweated, “Um. Do you like anime or something?”

     There was a sharp intake of breath and then an explosion of words. You nearly fell out of your seat as Alphys literally had stars in her eyes as she was yelling about “Mew Mew: Kissy Cutie!!” and “the chapter about the snail ice cream” and the core values of friendship. Once you realized it was an anime meltdown, you relaxed and allowed yourself to smile instead of scoping out the nearest exit. It was truly impressive to watch this person who was stuttering only moments ago transform into well, an anime schoolgirl. Alphys was looking expectantly at you now.

     “Oh shoot, did you ask me something?”

     “Have you ever watched episode 53?”

     “Er. To be honest, I haven’t seen that anime. I actually haven’t watched anime in a few years.”

     If Alphys had been a balloon, it looked like those words were a needle. She appeared to visibly deflate. “Oh, sorry, I guess I got a bit too-”

     “Oh wait!! I watched some last night!” you quickly spat out, “It was very good! I just don’t happen to have any at my house.” You eyed the yellow dinosaur monster hopefully, hoping to maintain her good mood.

     The save seemed to have worked. Alphys glowed again. “Oh! Oh! I’ve got some! Hang on! I’ll go get you my box sets!” She got up and quickly made a dash for the stairs.

     “Ooh! Wait, wait, I can’t take anything tonight!” you exclaimed, “I’m going on a date with a guy I met online and I don’t wanna leave them in the car in case they got stolen.”

     Alphys halted and shyly came back. “Oh, oh! Th-that’s a good idea. I would feel bad if I lost them.” Alphys looked at you curiously. “Wait, did you say online? Is he a robot?”

     “Um, no. He’s a real person. There is a dating site where people can make profiles and the site tries to match people based on location and interests.” You pulled out your phone and handed it to a curious Alphys who opened the dating app and was scrolling through it.

     Alphys squinted at it and tapped a claw on the screen. “Interesting. Is this just for humans?”

     You shrugged. “I think so. They’ll probably add a monster species at some point.” You leaned and elbowed the distracted monster gently. “Why? You looking for a special someone?”

     A pink tinge swelled on her cheeks. “Ah n-no. I-i already have someone,”

     “Oh nice! Who’s the special monster?”

     As if on cue, the door to the pasture swung open with a loud slam. “ALPHYS!” a familiar booming female voice shouted, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THE HUMAN GOT HERE?”

     You almost felt your jaw hit the ground. A monster with flaming red hair stood majestically in the frame of the door. Blue rough scales adorned her body as you realized this monster was some type of fish creature. That wore combat boots and cargo pants. Gilled fins stuck out like ears amongst the red hair. A black worn eye patch covered one eye. The other eye was a sickly yellow that watched both of you intensely. She grinned widely. Teeth. Large teeth. Fangs. Friendly fangs? Hopefully.

     You shot a glance over at Alphys and to your surprise found the yellow dinosaur blushing a deep shade of red. Almost as red as this fish woman’s hair. Ah. Well that answered your question didn’t it. “I-i didn’t want to interrupt your training, Undyne.”

     “H-h,” you greeted, your voice cracking as you looked up at the tall monster. Oh man, she was just as tall as Papyrus. Maybe even taller?     

     Undyne didn’t appear to hear you at all. In one long stride, Undyne was at Alphys side and in the next, smothering the smaller monster in a hug. “Hey! You can always interrupt me! You’re just as important to me as training!!” Undyne romantically hollered into Alphys’ ears.

     “H-hi.” 

     “D-don’t say that Undyne. You’re helping other monsters. I-i don’t mind waiting. I’m not doing anything important anyways,” Alphys tried to argue.

     “Hi.”

     “Not doing anything important?! If you’re not awesome, then why did those fancy professor humans want you to work at the university if you’re not a cool braniac?”

     “U-undyne,” Alphys voice dropped as she brought herself to look into Undyne’s eyes-er, eye. Undyne grinned before leaning in, fish lips puckered. Alphys returned the gesture, making the mwah noises preemptively. Nothing more romantic than a sweaty fish about to kiss an equally sweating dinosaur.

     “HI I’M LORI!” You found yourself accidentally shout. The two monsters stopped their descent on each other and looked up surprised. Undyne started laughing and let go of Alphys.

     “Heheh, sorry about that,” Undyne laughed, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly. She resumed her manic grin and reached a scaly hand toward you. “I’m Undyne! Thanks for coming down. Or up depending on where you live I guess.”

     “Oh definitely up,” you answered faster than you intended, “I’m more downtown actually. But it’s cool. I’ve never been up here before.”

     Undyne chuckled. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool I guess. Wish it was closer to the water but eh, the neighbors are cool. And the recruits are really determined to train. So that’s awesome.” She eyed you with interest. “You ever do a training course? I think you would do great.”

     “Ah well...no. Maybe next time. I have to come back up to borrow some anime, right Alyphys?” You motioned to Alphys.

     Undyne turned on Alphys. “Is this true?”

     “W-well, I mean, uh, yeah yeah, I was thinking about loaning her-”

     “Alphys! I’m so proud of you!” Undyne congratulated, slapping the shy dinosaur on the back, “Making new friends! Soon you’ll be making BESTIES!!” she turned her attention back to you. “Let’s get things started. This way, please.” Undyne opened the door leading outside and you followed her out. None of the monsters had seen you guys yet. Except for one.

     “HELLO HU-Er I MEAN LORI! HELLO LORI!” a familiar tall skeleton waved eagerly from a distance. You waved back, trying to meet his enthusiasm. You did not see the odd look Undyne shot you as the fish monster rubbed her chin in thought.

     “That’s a first.”

     “What?” you asked as Papyrus started jogging toward you.

     “Papyrus got your name really quick. It took him forever to get Frisk’s.”

     “Er, I gave him a good example,” you offered. Undyne raised an eyebrow as a small smile crept onto her face. “Is it bad that he said my name?” You asked hesitantly.

     “No. Nope. Just wondering.” She placed both hands around her mouth and hollered. “Get in formation!!!” At the command, five monster dogs dropped what they were doing and bounded toward the fish monster. You recognized Greater Dog whose tongue lolled out happily as he spotted you. You spotted a smaller white dog barking excitedly as it spotted you. You raised a hand to wave at him and paused. You blinked. Did-did his neck get longer? It must be the sun.

     Two other large dogs ran toward Undyne and to your surprise, seemed to be practically attached by the hip. Although it was difficult to tell initially, they appeared to female and male. They were almost in sync with their movements and stole loving glances and nose nuzzles with each other as they approached. You probably would have found them adorable if they weren’t wielding massive battleaxes as they charged.

     Lastly, a dog in a tank top would run, come to a dead stop, look around panicked, dash forward, stop again, bark in alarm, then run again...and stop, shift eyes, run a few, halt...it took him an extra 30 seconds to come in formation, the very act seemed to stress him out considerably.

     “Alright, cool, are we missing anyone?” you asked, separating a few sheets of paper.

     “RG1 and RG2 are on escort with Royal Family!” Papyrus piped up suddenly from behind you, startling you into nearly dropping your paperwork.

     “Oh that’s alright..um, I guess I’ll get them later.” You turned your attention to the dog monsters. “Hi everyone! My name is Lori and I’m-!”

     “AHHHH! THERE IS A VOICE BUT I SEE NOTHING!!!!” The tank topped dog shrieked.

     You froze and looked for help at Undyne who shrugged. The female larger dog spoke up. “Move around a bit, Lori, so Doggo can see you. He doesn’t like things that don’t move.” You glanced at Doggo who twitched and fiddled with his knives nervously. You found it easier to comply.

     “Okay! Hi, I’m Lori. I’m a vet tech!” You introduced yourself as you hopped from one foot to the next, “I am here to get some information about you so we can start medical charts for you at our hospital.”

     “Sounds good.”

     “If Dogamy is fine with it, I’m fine with it.”

     “Bark!”

     “There you are!”

     “Yipp! Yipp!”

     “Cool, cool. I think this also answers who can speak English as well,” you noted, writing down this information. You felt something near your shoulder and found Papyrus hovering near your shoulder. “Hi Papyrus,” you greeted again.

     “Hello Lori. You didn’t write that I speak English.”

     “Oh er, well you’re not really a dog-” You caught Undyne’s eye. She winked and mouthed the words “go with it”. You cleared your throat. “You’re right! Sorry about that. Yes, you also speak English. Why don’t you help me hold some of my paperwork while I ask more questions?”

     Papyrus gave a delighted grin and gladly grabbed some of the paperwork. The next few minutes went by relatively painless. The monsters names were Doggo, Greater Dog, Lesser Dog, Dogamy and Dogaressa. You asked about age, genders, how often they interacted with other non monster dogs if they did at all. The monsters who did speak English were able to answer did for the most part (Doggo had difficulty answering questions as he kept getting distracted by items that could be squirrels but they weren’t moving so he wasn’t sure). The dogs who couldn’t speak were able to communicate via whines and barks in addition to helpful translations from Dogaressa every now and then.

     You continued down your list of routine questions you would ask in exams. Your handwriting wasn’t great due to having to hop, but the answers were legible enough. You reached one of the questions and paled. You tried to skip it. “Lori! You skipped a question!” Papyrus chirped helpfully.

     “Oh, no I did? Was it the age one?” you attempted to play dumb. Papyrus didn’t register the attempted ignorance and pointed to the question with a gloved hand.

      “No, that one. Right there.”

     You paled more so and coughed. “Um...is anyone here...spayed or...neutered? And if not...do you have any desire to?”

     Undyne burst into a roaring laughter as Greater Dog whined and crossed his legs. Dogamy and Dogaressa exchanged uncomfortable looks. Lesser Dog’s head seemed to shrink more into his body. Doggo flailed and let out a series of alarm barks. Papyrus was puzzled. “Do I need to be spayed or neutered?” He asked you curiously.

     “I-uh”

     “You’re fine, Pap. Don’t worry,” Undyne panted, wiping a tear from her eye. She smirked. “You can go ahead and mark no for everyone,” all the dogs sighed in relief, “unless they start to goof off!” They tensed back up into position.

     “Haha,” you laughed weakly knowing that nothing was funny. “Uhhh, well let’s move on to taking temps, heart rates and respirations. We’ll check any environmental factors and we’ll be done.” You hesitated. “Um, I only have a rectal thermometer soooo, yeah, let’s not do that now,” you quickly added, trying to avoid the glares from the dog monsters.

     You watched the rise and fall of each monster’s chest and recorded respirations. Which was easy to do as you could just mentally write “Panting”.

     You pulled out your stethoscope. “Alright, now I need to put this on your chest and stay still so I can get your heart rate. So if you have armor on, can you lower it or take it off so I can reach your chest.” You turned to Doggo, still hopping. “Doggo, you’re wearing the least so I’ll start with you-”

     “NOPE!” Doggo began to bark aggressively.

     “Doggo!” Undyne ordered, “You’re going to stay still and let Lori take your heart rate.”

     “Stay...still?” Doggo looked horrified. You hesitated and took one step toward the anxious dog before he turned around and dashed off barking frantically.

     Undyne sighed. “Papyrus, will you go get him?” Papyrus saluted and jogged after the panicking pup. You turned around to find Greater Dog in your face, panting happily.

     “Oh wow. You’re uh, really close. Okay, um, lower your breast plate a bit, there now just stay like this while I catch the...beating?” You blinked in surprise and listened harder. That heartbeat was everywhere, almost as if it was playing a song. This dog should be in cardiac failure. You observed Greater Dog who was drooling happily. He did not appear to be in cardiac failure. You wrote down a number that was close to what you could pick up and moved on to Lesser Dog.

     No sooner had you put a hand on his chest then you saw a shadow cast over yourself. You looked up and gaped. “Is-is this normal?!” you shouted.

     Dogamy snorted. “He gets excited over anything. It’s fine.” You returned your observations to Lesser Dog. His neck had elongated upwards. You attempted to get a heart rate but everytime you brought the stethoscope close to his chest, his neck got longer.

     “If I keep this up, I’m going to lose you in the clouds,” you muttered. You took out your paper and wrote “Cannot measure. Neck growing too long.” You gave him an affectionate pat on his tummy before moving on to the dog couple.

     Dogamy exposed his chest first so you placed the stethoscope on him first. You attempted to concentrate but Dogaressa kept rubbing her cold nose against your bare arm and whining “Don’t leave me out. Me too! Me too!” You tried to take heart rates with just your hands but the two monsters were getting too excited and jumpy. You settled for writing, “Need another tech to take both of their heart rates at same time.”

     Papyrus came back, looking disappointed. “Undyne! I have failed my task! Doggo jumped the fence,” he apologized profusely.

     “Pshaw. He’ll come back. He left his stash of biscuits in the house.” Undyne clasped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close. “Now we patrol for environment dangers!!” she hollered. You nodded mutely and the group began to walk along the borders of the obstacle course. They didn’t get far before stumbling on a white, pom pom looking flower hanging from a leafy stalk.

     You approached it to take a closer look. What looked like one big pom pom of flowers were actually an accumulation of smaller flowers that formed an overall round shape. You shook your head. “Hey Undyne.”

     “What is it, punk?” she asked.

     “So this is a Hydrangea. It comes in different colors but they generally look like this round thing. Um, they’re pretty but if dogs eat them, they can get really sick. And if they don’t throw them up right away, the chemicals in the plants convert into cyanide which if left untreated could result in them having seizures and possibly dying.”

     “Wait wait,” Undyne interrupted, “You’re telling me that ball of flowers,” she pointed incredulously, “is dangerous to my guards?”

     You nodded, “Yeah, I mean if they don’t eat them, they’re fine-”

     “NGAHHHHHH!!!!!”

     “HOLY SHIT!!!!”

     A blinding flash of blue light exploded in front of your eyes and you jumped back reflexively. Where the plant once stood, a smoldering pile of leaves and burnt leaves remained. You whirled around to see Undyne in a battle position, a bright blue spear gripped tightly in her hands. The spear glinted as blue smoke wafted off the deadly looking weapon. Your eyes widened as you realized that this was magic. The warrior’s eye glinted dangerously. She gave you a huge grin, “Anything else?”

     “Uh huh. Just, maybe mow the grass to reduce foxtails...otherwise I don’t think so-!”

     “GUARDS! SEEK AND DESTROY THE KILLER PLANTS!!” Undyne ordered. The remaining dog warriors let out a hurrah and scattered throughout the pasture, leaving you alone with Papyrus.

     You realized you had been holding your breath and you shakily released it with a nervous giggle that came out more like a whimper. “Are you alright, Lori?” Papyrus asked.

     You nodded mutely and ran your hands through your hair. “Yeah, yeah. Just. I’ve never seen monster magic up close. It startled me,” you admitted. You looked at Papyrus curiously. “Aren’t you going to go destroy the flowers too?”

     Now it was Papyrus’ turn to look uneasy. “I’m ah, not actually a guard yet. More like a sentry. Technically, a Royal Guard in training. Undyne thinks I need more training before I start escorting the Royal Family on dangerous missions,” he admitted, “So I’m going to keep training until I make her proud and achieve my dreams!”

     You gave him a warm smile. “I’m sure you will someday. Hey! Great idea, why don’t you practice escorting me back to Undyne’s home? I don’t want to accidentally get shishkabobbed by a weapon,” you offered, remembering the array of weapons you had to step over to get to the front door.

     Papyrus lit up like a candle. “OH! That’s an excellent idea! Come! I will keep you safe!” Although you were only about 30ft away from Undyne’s home, those 30ft easily became the most amusing 30ft of your life. Papyrus ducked and dodged the entire way, having you stop several times to allow him to scope out the path to make sure it was safe. After an exciting 5 minutes, you reached the back door. “Human! I, Papyrus, Royal Guard in training, have delivered you safely to your destination,” he announced proudly.

     You were just as proud as Papyrus. “You most certainly did. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this safe in my life. Thank you noble Papyrus.”

     “Oh just Papyrus is fine.”

     “Gotcha. Well, I guess I’ll see you-”

     “Ah, actually, can I ask a favor of you? I know I’m only a Royal Guard in training, but would you mind taking my heart rate and respirations too?”

     “Oh sure sure,” you nodded, remembering that Papyrus had been chasing Doggo when you performed the tests on the other monsters. “So we’ll do breathing first. So just relax and breathe...um, do skeletons need to breath?”

     “Breathing is nice,” Papyrus responded, although it didn’t really answer your question. You watched his chest rise and fall and counted the number of respirations.

     You fished out your stethoscope that you had thrown back into your bag. “Cool. Now we will move on to heart rate...Um, I need to put this against your..chest. Any chance you could remove your battle armor?”

     Papyrus looked nervous. “Do I need to? I’d really rather not.”

     You stroked your chin. “I think I can go under your armor if I come in from below,” you observed, “Would that be better?” He considered it.

     “That seems like a good compromise.” Papyrus contemplated. He carefully lifted the bottom part of his armor off his body slightly. You put on your stethoscope and brought it against his spine gently. You weren’t sure how strong his bones were but you didn’t want to do anything to accidentally hurt the very trusting skeleton.

     His breathing hitched the moment the diaphragm of the stethoscope connected with his spine. “Sorry, sorry, the metal might be cold,” you apologized, quickly removing the stethoscope.

     “It felt...different,” Papyrus admitted, “I didn’t think I could feel the cold.”

     “Hang on, I’ll warm it up for you,” you offered, pressing the head into your hand for a minute until it came to body temp. “Alright, take two.”

     “Take two what?”

     “It’s a saying that actors like to say. It means let’s try again.”

     “Ooh! I know an actor! I didn’t know he said that,” Papyrus exclaimed in delight. You smiled patiently. Papyrus sheepishly grinned. “Sorry, alright, I get excited when I talk about him. Please continue.” You pressed the diaphragm once more against his spine. His breathing hitched again and you made a motion to pull back but Papyrus quickly caught your hand with one of his own. “I’m fine,” he insisted, “It just feels weird. I don’t think I’m used to being touched there.”

     “Maybe you’re ticklish,” you suggested, feeling your cheeks starting to burn red. It hadn’t been that sunny out but it was possible that you had gotten a sunburn. A few thoughts in your mind begged to differ but you buried those deep in the back of your brain. Papyrus released your hand and you slowly dragged the diaphragm up. You listened intently for a heartbeat, drowning out your surroundings as you became focused on your task.

     The skeleton monster trembled slightly as his breathing became uneven. You continued up, catching the soft echoes of a heartbeat, until you felt the ribs protruding from the spine. You debated whether he would find it intrusive if you continued up the spine and through the rib cage. You settled for finding the sternum and pressing against it. The heartbeat was much stronger. “Found it!” you announced proudly, “now just stay still while I count the beats.”

     “I’m g-glad,” Papyrus stammered. You found the stammering strange from Papyrus who was normally booming and self confident, but you were far too elated to have found the heartbeat on a skeleton that you ignored the deviation. You started counting but your surprise, found that the beat was increasing the longer you listened to it.

     “Papyrus, your heart rate is escalating,” you spoke lowly so as not to drown out the sounds of his heartbeat. You felt his gloved hand reach forward and grab onto your shoulder, knocking you out of your concentration. You looked up. “Are you o..kay?”

     Papyrus’s skull had dropped down to look at the ground. His cheeks were bright orange and his eye sockets seemed shut in concentration. He was breathing heavily and you felt his hand tighten on your shoulder although definitely not painfully, there was still pressure.

     You were not a virgin. Far from it. You had many partners in the past and enjoyed safe sex with condoms and STD checks. You knew how touching and caressing certain body parts on humans could turn on and turn off their drive for sex. They would moan and blush and sweat. Their breathing might change. These facts seemed very commonplace even if someone didn’t have sex but just sat around watching television or reading stories on the Internet. When it came to monsters, you had no idea if they even had sex, much less had the ability to become aroused or bothered by touch. You were now learning that this may hold true for skeletons even if they had no skin.

     You quickly pulled back in horror and yanked yourself out of Papyrus’ grasp. A feeling of shame hit you as you realized you may have just accidentally molested this monster who had trusted you just moments ago. “Oh, Papyrus! I’m so sorry! I-i didn’t know!” you began.

     He exhaled heavily. “I-i’m sorry to have scared you, Lori. I don’t know why that felt so weird,” he gasped, bringing a glove to his forehead. Your eyes widened at the admission. Oh my God. He’s a virgin your mind shrieked at you.

     “Papyrus, I-”

     Papyrus quickly glanced around, visibly sweating. “Wowie, did it get really hot right now or is it just me? I think I better go inside and get a glass of water. Have to keep these bones hydrated in the heat! Nyeh heh heh!” he quickly spewed out. Before you could say anything further, the monster darted past you and into Undyne’s home.

     You smacked yourself on the head. “Great, just great Lori. First the rectal thermometers and now you’re sexually molesting monsters. Can life get any grander?”

     “Did you say something, Lori?” Alphys asked, stepping outside.

     You mouthed a silent “thank you” as the monster seemed to have missed the whole molesting the guard in training bit. “Oh, just mumbling to myself. Hey! Can I change into my date clothes in your house?”

     Alphys nodded. “S-sure. Just use the restroom straight ahead. It’s the least I can do for having you come up here...oh and also letting me work with your phone,” she thanked, holding out your phone

     You had almost forgotten that you had given the phone to Alphys and eagerly took it back. “No worries. Hey, did I get any messages?”

     “I don’t think so,” Alphys’ brow furrowed.

     “Cool, looks like I’m still on for tonight then,” you cheered. You unlocked your phone and blinked in surprise. Your phone battery was only 20%. Alphys observed your surprise and blanched.

     “I, er, may have played some fruit ninja a little...and installed some software...and altered some core programming...” Alphys’ voice trailed off.

     “Oh, that’s cool. I think. Uh, did you do anything that might void my warranty?”

     “What’s a warranty?”

     “Nevermind. I’ll just cross that bridge when I get to it...so where’s that bathroom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greater Dog's heartbeat is the Dog Song if you haven't guessed.  
> YAY!  
> Also POVs come next chapter.


	5. Alternate Means of Transportation (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally, FINALLY figured out the coding to make paragraphs appear. I went back to fix Chapter one, but my hand was cramping too much. So Chapters 2-4 are just going to have weird indents until I take the time to manually fix every line. ahhh
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Alphys opened the bathroom door for you and closed it after you walked in. You quickly stripped out of your scrubs and sports bra and wiped yourself down with a towelette. You slipped on a black bra, adjusted the girls, and then put on a black tank top. You squeezed youself into a pair of dark blue jeans and a pair of purple wedges before pulling out your arsenal of war paint. Make up. You meant make up. Once the war paint was applied, you put on some hoop earrings, a light jacket and a spritz of perfume before repacking your work clothes. You gave yourself a look over in the mirror.

“I’m not going to say I look amazing, but I could definitely could turn a few heads. Especially if I knock these two into their heads! Pew pew!” you shot, grabbing your boobs and pretending to use them as laser guns. 

You heard someone knock on the door. “Oh! Just a minute!” you coughed, finishing up your packing and casting one last approving look at your reflection. You opened the door and ran smack dab into Papyrus. He had been holding a glass of water that you knocked out of his hands and onto your new clothes. 

Papyrus looked horrified. “Oh human! I’m so sorry!” he gasped, quickly grabbing a towel. 

You quickly tried to speak, “Oh, no don’t be sorry. It’s my fault, Papyrus! I didn’t look where I was going!” 

Papyrus had grabbed a towel but stopped when you spoke. He looked out you curiously before his sockets widened. “Human, er Lori. I did not recognize you without your battle armor on.” You opened your mouth to question this but decided against it. Papyrus circled you, observing you. “You are wearing different clothing…” He stopped in front of you and peered closely at you. The attention was making you blush. “You...must be going on a date!” he exclaimed happily. 

You did not understand the reasoning but it was sound so who were you to question it? “You’re absolutely right!” you confirmed. “I’m going to meet a guy downtown in about an hour.” 

Papyrus beamed. “Of course I am right. I am the master of observation and detection.” He lifted up his towel again. “I’ll help you get perfect for your date! Let me fix you back up.” 

You tried to step backwards, only for your back to come in contact with the bathroom door which had shut automatically. “Uh, P-papyrus, that’s not necessary.” You felt your blush color darker now. Why were you stuttering? 

“Nonsense. That’s what friends are for!” Papyrus announced proudly. Papyrus grasped the bottom of your clothes and began to deftly dry you off. You allowed yourself a sigh of relief. This was fine. Fine. Papyrus can’t be that determined to dry you off. 

You were wrong. The towel touched the underside of your chest and your breathing stopped for a moment. It’s just a towel. Get ahold of yourself. “Ooh” you gasped as Papyrus’ hands came into contact with your breasts and stopped. 

Papyrus studied your chest, his gloved hands touching tentatively. “I don’t remember you having this attachment on your battle armor.” Of course he didn’t, you realized. Unisex scrubs make even the largest breasted women appear to have A cups. His hands slowly traveled upwards, pinching at your flesh underneath the bra. “You have something else underneath to hold the armor in place?! You are more skilled in battle than I thought.” Any attempt to stop his accidental advances died in your throat as he pinched a little harder. Papyrus appeared to be completely enraptured with this “body armor” addition to notice your flushed cheeks and uneven breathing.

“I have never felt soft under armor,” Papyrus awed, squeezing both breasts again. “Does this armor absorb projectile weapons to protect your soul?” he asked. 

“Uhhh,” you managed, trying not to moan as he eagerly fondled your breasts. 

There was a sudden crash of something heavy hitting the floor. “P-Papyrus!” a startled voice called out. Yo and Papyrus looked over to see a horrified Alphys who had dropped a stack of books to the ground. Both of her claws were pressed against her face. 

“Oh hello, Dr. Alphys!” Papyrus greeted enthusiastically, not halting in his experimental probing. 

“What-what are you doing?!” she gasped. 

“I’m studying this new underarmor that the human is wearing under her date clothes! Have you ever seen Undyne with this armor?”

Alphys turned a bright red. “O-oh my, I uh!” Papyrus gave each breast a firm squish, eliciting an actual squeak from you. If you could die from embarrassment, this would be the time. 

“Hey nerds, I think we got all the plants destroyed. I think we’re good to go until next time,” Undyne began as she walked into the house. She looked at Alphys who seemed to be completely focused on something. “Uh, Alphys? Whatcha looking at?” She walked over to her girlfriend and waved a gilled hand in front of her stunned face. “Hmm?” Undyne followed her line of vision and stared at Papyrus and you.

“Oh hello Undyne!” Papyrus cheerfully greeted. 

Undyne said nothing for a moment. She threw her head backwards and laughed hysterically. “U-undyne!!” Alphys shrieked, “It’s not funny!!” 

“Oh man! Imagine if Sans was here right now! Haha! He’d probably beat you up so bad!” Undyne laughed, pointing to you. 

“Wha-what?!?!” You freaked. He seemed like an easy going skeleton. 

The taller skeleton appeared to agree with your mental thoughts. Papyrus scoffed. “Sans? You must be kidding. He can barely lift himself off the couch. I doubt he would be upset with me for inspecting her armor attachment.”

“He called them armor attachments,” Undyne snorted while Alphys buried her face in her hands. “My Papyrus, getting to second base like a champ!” 

“Second...base?” Papyrus asked, no longer squeezing your breasts but still having not removed his hands. Papyrus’ cheerful demeanor began to drop as he watched the two female monsters. Something was clearly wrong. Your soft panting brought his attention back to you and he finally looked you in the face. Your cheeks were flushed and your mouth hung open to pant and squeak. You trembled in his hands. There was something familiar with this scene and then it hit him. 

“Are-are you feeling, er...weird?” Papyrus cautiously asked. 

“Yeah, kinda like that,” you admitted. Papyrus flung himself backwards so suddenly that you gasped at the removal of his touch. His face burned a bright orange. 

“I WILL LEAVE SO YOU MAY GET A CUP OF WATER!” he frantically shouted, turning and dashing out the door. 

You remained stunned and pressed against the door as your heart beat wildly in your chest. You stared out into nothing for a moment until Undyne brought you back with a slap on the back. “Pap’s a great guy but he can be painfully oblivious sometimes when it comes to certain topics,” she admitted. 

“Would Sans really beat me up if he found we just accidentally molested each other?” 

Undyne’s eye narrowed dangerously. “You did what?” You quickly explained the stethoscope incident, emphasizing that it was an accident since you were unfamiliar with monster anatomy, even when the anatomy was technically the same as human skeletons. Undyne’s eye relaxed and she laughed. “Oh that’s just great.”

“You’re not answering my question!” you exclaimed a lot louder than you intended. 

“Er, Sans can be a bit of an overprotective older brother,” Undyne snickered.

“That really did not answer my question.”

“I don’t think you really want me to answer your question.” 

“No I don’t think I actually do,” you admitted. You glanced at your phone. “Shoot, well death threats or not, I’ve got a date to meet in less than an hour. I’ll see you both later.”

“Have fun, punk. Don’t let him touch your armor attachments,” Undyne winked. 

“Oh-oh my gosh Undyne!” Alphys gasped. You could not think of a single comeback so you settled for turning bright red, giving a short wave and leaving the house. Like a boss. 

You opened the driver’s door and tossed your still open bags into the passenger’s seat before climbing in yourself. You were just about to turn the key to start the ignition when you spotted a lone hydrogena plant along the fence’s edge close to the front of you car. “Huh, Undyne’s troops must have missed one,” you observed. You glanced around to see if anybody was nearby and spotted Papyrus pacing anxiously nearby. You rolled down your passenger car window. “Hey Papyrus!” you hollered, startling the skeletal guard in training. You gestured to the plant. “There’s one more flower here. Think you could take care of it?”

Papyrus chest swelled and he saluted as you turned on the engine. You rolled up your window and plugged your phone into its car charger. You started entering in the address for into your phone’s GPS as Papyrus approached the plant. The phone urged you to start driving but you were curious to see how Papyrus was going to destroy the plant. He didn’t appear to be carrying any weapons unlike the other guards. 

To your surprise, Papyrus stopped some distance away from the plant and shut his eye sockets. A faint orange glow seemed to resonate from his hands. “Oh shit...Is this magic?” You gaped. Papyrus’ eye sockets opened to reveal that a single orange eye. A rather spectral looking eye you noted, shivering. You watched eagerly as a blue ethereal bone began to materialize in his gloves. Once it had achieved a certain level of corporalness, Papyrus grasped it firmly and took aim. 

You caught the time out of your peripheral vision and swore. “I’m going to be late if I stick around much longer,” you muttered, shifting into drive. You began to pull away just as Papyrus lobbed the bone spear. You watched with interest as the blue spear struck the still plant...and then phased right through it. Your eyes widened as the bone continued its trajectory, passing through the stationary wooden fence before lodging itself with a sharp bang into your turning front tire. 

The mini slunk forward with the impact and you quickly shifted into park. “No no no no no no,” you panicked, turning the car off completely and jumping outside. You ran desperately to the front and stared at the damage. Your front tire was shredded. “Oh man!!” you moaned. 

Papyrus looked equally stunned and dismayed. He looked irritably at his hands, to the car, and then back to his hands. “That wasn’t supposed to happen,” he remarked. 

You were having a difficult time not turning around and yelling at the stunned Papyrus, “AND WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU THREW A SPEAR AT MY CAR?!?”

Thankfully, you didn’t have to say those words. Undyne appeared more than happy to step in for that role. “PAPYRUS, WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN IF YOU THREW A BLUE ATTACK AT A NON MOVING TARGET?!” 

Papyrus’ shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry Undyne, I forgot. I promise to keep working on my orange attacks.” 

Undyne nodded. “I know you can do it, I believe in you, Papyrus.” Undyne looked over at you who just stared dumbly at your car. “Hey! You okay? Ya got a spare tire?”

You slowly shook your head. “No, I was supposed to get one like forever ago but I just kept forgetting...not that I know offhand how to change a tire to be honest.”

Undyne huffed. “I’ll go call you a tow truck. You probably should contact your date and try to reschedule.” Undyne walked past Alphys who had come outside to see what the commotion was about. 

“Oh! You’re right!” you grinned, “Hang on, I’ll message him through my...no network?” Your voice drifted into silence as you stared dumbly at her phone. The screen flashed back at you: “No Network”.

Alphys sweated anxiously. “Ah, some of the modifications that I put in might disable your network...but it’s only temporary! Just for an hour or two. Afterwards, your phone will be able to…”

You did not hear the rest of what Alphys said. “That’s it,” you moaned to yourself, running your hands through your hair. “I’ve never stood up anyone in my life and I’m about to stand up a hot guy with a sense of humor who talks to his mom.” 

Undyne’s voice carried from inside the house. “Tow truck driver said he’d be here in about 2-3 hours. Did you contact your date?”

You didn’t answer her. “Well, I guess I better sit here and start picking petals or something cause I’m certainly not going anywhere tonight.” None of your clients had ever attacked your car before. Professionalism be damned. You flopped to the ground childishly and buried your head in between your knees. You felt someone put a hand on your shoulder. 

“Human!” syou heard Papyrus speak. “Do not despair for I, the great Papyrus, will take you to your date so that you do not miss out on meeting someone as great as you!” 

“Really?!” you gasped, jumping up at his words and facing Papyrus. “Are you serious?” 

Papyrus nodded. “Of course! Nobody has ever said that Papyrus is unhelpful and no one ever shall. People will say ‘why, Papyrus? He is certainly the most helpful of mons-’hurk!” 

His speech was interrupted as you threw yourself against him with a squeal of delight. “Oh thank you thank thank you!! You’re a lifesaver!” You squealed, wrapping your arms tightly around him and pressing your cheek into his chest. 

Papyrus’ sockets widened in surprise at the sudden contact and he quickly looked to Undyne who had returned from the house for advice. Undyne simply gave him a thumbs up and mouthed the word “Nice!” at him. At least he thought it was the word nice. He wasn’t quite sure. Maybe she was saying mice. Or rice? Why would she say rice? He had already had dinner. No wait. He had lunch only. Did he have rice with lunch? Papyrus couldn’t remember. Then again it was hard for his mind to concentrate on anything right now. 

Papyrus normally loathed when he got confused, especially after one of San’s pranks. But at the moment, he didn’t feel too upset. It was the weird feeling again but it wasn’t as strong. Just a pleasant warmth, which just confused him even more. Undyne was saying actual words now. “You should totally let your date know that Papyrus beat him to second base.” 

“Sh-shut up!” Papyrus remembered that you were currently engaging him in an act of friendship and he gladly reciprocated by patting your head affectionately. Undyne slapped a scaly hand over her face and groaned. Oh. Maybe she wanted him to hug you back. Before he could reach his arms around you, you had already pulled away, oblivious to the exchange. You had reached your passenger door and were pulling things out. He remained standing where you left him, allowing the warm feeling to linger. 

You felt your cheeks burn at Undyne’s words and was grateful that his back was turned. You began to scoop up your bags as Undyne continued to speak. “Just leave your car here. When the tow truck driver shows up, we’ll have him fix your tire and we’ll drop your car off tomorrow morning or something. In the meantime, Papyrus will bring you to and from your date.”

“Sounds good,” your voice was muffled from trying to pick up all of your stuff at once which had been knocked to the floor when the bone hit your tire. It was difficult to keep things from falling back into the car, but you managed to hold everything together. “So where’s your car?” you asked, following Papyrus. 

~~~~~

“No way,” you gasped. 

“Er. There is no way here. Just my car,” Papyrus awkwardly pointed out. 

“No, I mean..you don’t...You have a convertible?” you gawked, staring at the albeit old fashioned but shiny two seater red convertible parked by Undyne’s house. 

“Oh yes. I like to feel the wind in my hair when I drive...er, metaphorically speaking,” Papyrus admitted, running a hand over his naked skull. 

You grinned stupidly. “Red is my favorite color.”

“That’s good. Cars that are red go faster,” Papyrus insisted so earnestly that you didn’t have the heart to correct him. He opened the passenger’s seat and helped you dump your stuff onto the floor before you finally sat down. 

Papyrus hopped into the car and quickly turned on the ignition. The engine roared to life, startling you but you quickly settled down. “Makes sense. Loud skeleton, loud car.”

“What was that?” Papyrus asked as the engine revved. 

“Nothing! Just thinking.” 

“Oh. Well hang on to your thinking.” Truer words could not have been spoken as the car jerked forward. You quickly fastened your seat belt to avoid hitting the dashboard. You scoped out the car but to your disappointment could not find a phone charger...or even a port to plug in a phone charger. 

“Guess I’ll just have to settle for...22% battery life and still no network,” you mumbled. 

“Are you thinking again?” Papyrus asked patiently. 

You laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, yeah. I am sorry. Sorry about that. It’s been an exciting day. I’ll stop doing that. You don’t need to know about that.” 

Papyrus was silent for a moment. When he spoke, he was slightly quieter than his normal booming voice. “A lot of monsters don’t think I need to know about things. Especially Sans,” he began carefully. You felt something sink in your stomach. The car had approached the security gate but you barely acknowledged the guard who was attempting one handed push ups. Papyrus gave a friendly wave before driving through the opened gate. 

“Oh okay,” you attempted a neutral answer. You were not sure what he was referring to and you were anxious hoping he wasn’t going to continue.  
Papyrus continued. “I believe they feel I need to be protected or that I am not ready to learn something new. I know they want the best for me I’ve known everyone for such a long time…” You tried to remain casual. 

“Oh that’s thoughtful of them.” 

“But you!” You nearly jumped out of your clothes at the sudden increase in volume. “You have not known me as long as Undyne nor Sans! And therefore, you may not feel the need to protect me.” It was difficult to remain casual now. You squirmed uncomfortably. 

“Er, Papyrus, I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you-” you began. 

Papyrus waved a hand. “Of course not! You and I are friends. Comrades in protecting each other.” You let out a sigh of relief only to suck it back in sharply when Papyrus ran a red light. Thankfully the street was relatively empty but still. 

“You just drove through a red light!!” you gasped. 

Papyrus looked at you as if you just said that the sky was blue. “Of course I did. See! This is exactly what I admire. Your honesty.” You gripped the seat as he blew through another one. You were wondering where the hell were the cops. “Therefore, I have question for you. About...er...something that happened between us.” 

You froze. “B-between us?” You blurted out.

Papyrus nodded. “Of course. In the presence of so many powerful monsters, I would not be surprised that you would be awed. But...oh boy. How do I say this?” Papyrus actually looked nervous. He slowed down and stopped at a light before looking at you. Oh god, did you have to explain sex is? You didn’t even know how monsters got turned on prior to 3 hours ago. What the hell were you going to tell him? “What does spaying and neutering mean?”

You blinked. “What?”  
Papyrus sighed. “I admit, when I saw that you had forgotten the question and reminded you to ask it, I actually did not know what those words meant. Would you explain them to me?” 

You were about to decline when someone honked behind them. You looked around and realized Papyrus had stopped at a green light. “Yes! Yes! Just drive the car!” you urged.

“But it’s green and that’s close to blue.”

“What?” 

“Blue means stop. Red means go. Ah see, here. I can go now.” Papyrus drove the car through the intersection as the light turned to red. You stared at him in shock. 

“Wait, no! That’s opposite. How long have you been driving?” They were getting closer to downtown. 

“Since Frisk brought us to the surface,” Papyrus answered helpfully, beginning to slow down at another green light. 

You blanched. “And you’ve never gotten a ticket?” 

“Ticket? Like to a fair?” Papyrus asked. 

You ran a hand through your hair. Papyrus was steadfast in his driving abilities. It would take more time to explain that he was wrong. And then she would be late. “I’m not sure if you know this but downtown has different street rules than other places.” 

Papyrus looked astounded. “It does?”

You nodded. “Oh yes! Downtown, everything is opposite. So you would drive forward for green and stop for red.”

“How perplexing.”

“Absolutely,” you sorta lied, “younger humans learn that from an early age and they have to remember that these are the rules.”

“This reminds me of a very confusing puzzle involving lights,” Papyrus began doubtfully. 

“That’s just it!” you got far more excited than you intended. “It is a puzzle!”

Papyrus nearly squealed. “Oh excellent. Inform me about the spay and neutering while I master this puzzle!” 

You hesitated. “Huh, are you sure? It’s kinda gross.” Papyrus nodded as he avoided breaking for another green light. “Well alright..You see..”

~~~~~

There was an awkward silence between the monster and you. You glanced at your phone. The explanation had taken at most 5 minutes but you were sure its effects would be felt for a liftetime judging by Papyrus’ face. He seemed horrified. Well, you weren’t going to be seeing him anytime soon, you realized. Somehow, this realization made you feel a bit despondent inside. 

“That-the brothers and sisters will do it too?” his voice came out strangled. 

“Er yeah. Human pets are not as smart as Monster animals. Listen, I’m sorry, I probably grossed you out.” 

Papyrus looked startled. “Grossed out?”  
You shook your head. “Yeah, uh, lots of people don’t really think about that side of pets. Pets are cool and all but they can be totally gross too. Not that I mind, I love them!” you quickly argued, “But there’s a reason I ditch my scrubs as soon as I’m off work.” 

“Of course. You’re following the Official Dating Handbook,” Papyrus finished.

“Exactly-wait I’m following what now?” You were taken aback. 

Papyrus stated matter of factly, “Step 1, press c on the dating hub. Step 2, ask them out on a date. Step 3, wear nice clothings to show that you care.” 

“Er...I guess I might be. I don’t own the book to be honest.” 

Papyrus looked aghast. “Human! I will loan you mine. It has helped me on all of my dates!” You looked over the battle armoring skeleton who about to run another red light and couldn’t help but wonder just how many dates he had really been on. But he seemed so sure of himself, you decided not to test him.

“Thanks. To be honest, I also change out of my scrubs because they smell like fur and sweat. I might still smell like that now to be honest.” 

“I don’t think you smell.” Papyrus began. You felt her chest flutter a bit. “But then again, I don’t have a nose so I’m not sure.” You sank into your chair again. You glanced at your phone. You were probably about 5 minutes away. You would only be a few minutes late at this rate which wasn’t bad. “But I will make sure to loan you my book so you can become a dating master like me.” 

You laughed and sat back up. “Alright thanks. Although, I don’t think I could ever get to your level. You seem very experienced and clever.” 

Papyrus hesitated and appraised you curiously. “A genuine compliment?” he asked aloud. “Lori, are you trying to flir-?”

“Oh STOP STOP! That’s the place!!!” You shouted, pointing to the restaurant he was about drive by. Papyrus quickly cranked the wheel and came to a stop in front of the restaurant. “Oh my gosh, thank you so much, dude. You’re a lifesaver. What were you saying?” you asked, turning back toward him.

“I-er-nothing. Just thinking,” Papyrus lied.

You laughed and gathered some of your stuff. “Is it alright if I leave most of my stuff here? I’ll come get it later, I promise.” 

“Of course, do you need help?” Papyrus asked, as you grabbed your purse and a handful of stuff that had fallen out of said purse. 

“No, I think I’m good. Thanks again, Papyrus.” You were about to turn and leave when Papyrus quickly caught your arm. 

“Let’s exchange numbers! Otherwise you will have to call every number before you get mine when you need to be picked up.” You laughed and swapped phones with him. You plugged in your number and handed it back to him without putting in a contact name. “One last question!” Papyrus called as you turned to walk into the restaurant. “What does second base mean?!” 

You blushed as the nearby humans looked toward you both in bemusement or curiosity. “Er!! Check your dating handbook! I’m sure the term is in there! Okay bye!” you quickly waved before darting inside. 

Papyrus watched you go inside and was disappointmented that you didn’t answer his question. “Maybe the dating book will have the answer,” he assured himself, “What a smart human she is.” He looked at his phone and realized you hadn’t put your name in. He almost typed Lori but paused. He smiled and saved your contact as “Second Base” before tossing the phone into the passenger seat and driving away. The glow of the phone briefly illuminated your forgotten wallet that had fallen in between the seat and the door before the screen dimmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun! Have you guys ever forgotten your wallet on a first date? Comment and tell me if you like the way the story's going so far please! :D
> 
> Artwork inspired by this and previous chapter:  
>   
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)


	6. Date with Prince Charming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha!!! I made great time! Hopefully you enjoy. We start utilizing scene changes now!

You stumbled in to the restaurant, startling the hostess who was busy writing in her large book. You approached the podium out of breath. “Hey, is there a reservation here for Banana Rama?” you asked hopefully. 

The hostess shot you an odd look and looked in her book. “Yes,” she responded, “It looks like your friend has been seated already. Follow me and I’ll bring you to him.” Score! You were elated.

“Thanks,” you thanked as calmly as you could. You followed the hostess into the busy restaurant. The guy showed up. Awesome! Good start! Only 3 minutes late and he stuck around. Still awesome. You took this opportunity to glance around at the other patrons in Feng Shui. You let out a sigh of relief as you realized you had dressed appropriately. It sucked when you overdid it and it was absolutely embarrassing when you were under dressed. This was turning out to be a good conclusion to an otherwise eventful day. You looked ahead and your breath got caught in your throat. 

There he was. Even better looking than he had been in the photo he sent of the rainbow farting unicorn. He was wearing a polo shirt which did a good job of showing off his biceps. His hair was still angelically feathery. To your surprise, he looked anxious, sipping water frequently and fidgeting in his chair. He spotted you approaching and suddenly broke into a wide nervous smile. “Oh man,” you quietly whispered to the hostess, “Wish me luck on my date.” 

The hostess’s eyes widened. “That’s your date?”

You hesitated. “Yeah...why did he say something else?”

The hostess bit her lip. “He said he was waiting for a friend. Oh, I better tell Theresa not to try to slip him her number in the bread basket just in case.” Fuck.

“No, probably not. Unless he starts running for the door, then tell her to trip him,” you instructed, feeling a lot less confident than you did about 15 seconds ago. The hostess was kind enough to bring you to the table, politely nod you to your chair and then quickly dashed toward the kitchen, probably to catch Theresa. You awkwardly stood there a bit as the guy was getting out of his chair. “Oh don’t get up-ooh!” 

You found yourself enveloped in a second big warm hug of the day. Your hands remained at your sides in surprise before quickly coming around and gently patting him on the back. “I am so happy to see you!” the guy greeted almost giddily as he nearly crushed you.

“I am stoked to meet you too,” you gasped. Damn, he was strong. Getting this close and personal really let you get a good smell of him. He smelled better than you for sure. Was he wearing cologne? You stole another not so creepy sniff before your date let go of you and cocked his head. 

“Meet me?” He asked in confusion. Warning bells went off in your head. Your eyes darted around. This had to be candid camera. When was Ashton Kutcher going to pop out and yell: “you just got punk’d!” Your date noticed you looking around. “Um...are you looking around for someone else? If you’re not interested in me, I totally understand.”

Your eyes bulged and you stared in disbelief at this Roman God. “Are you kidding me right now?” you asked before you could stop yourself, “I’m literally waiting for some dude to come out and say that I’m on candid camera or something because you are so goddamn hot.” You gasped in horror and covered your mouth. “Oh my gosh, I’m super sorry. I’m not just saying that you’re just a hot guy! I’m sure you’re very smart and have a lot more facets to your personality than your appearance. It’s just-uh. Normally people don’t immediately ask me out on a date if they see a picture of me in scrubs! Especially people who look like you.” 

The guy studied your horrified expression for a moment before he laughed good naturedly. “Of course not!” He paled. “Oh that sounded bad! I mean you don’t look bad. You’re super cute, even in scrubs. And you’ve already got a good sense of humor, ah.” He smiled weakly. “I guess it is kinda weird huh? I’m sorry about that.” 

“You’re sorry?!” you gaped, “I should be sorry. Ugh!” Your head slunk in defeat. “Can-can we just start over? Press the reset button or something?” you asked hopelessly. 

To your surprise, he nodded and then enveloped you in another hug. “I am so happy to see you,” he repeated with a noticeable wink. 

You smiled. “I’m so happy to see you too. Let’s sit down and talk about ourselves.” You ended the hug with an awkward chuckle and sat down. “So, what do you do for a living?” 

“I’m a sommelier at Le Grand Vefour,” he answered. 

“No kidding. That hoity toity french wine place?” you smirked. 

Your date snickered. “Ah contraire, I prefer the term hoity toity, mademoiselle,” he spoke, adding an over the top French accent to his sentence before returning his voice to normal. “It’s pretty cool. Get to meet a lot of famous people.” you nodded, taking a sip of your water. “How about you?”

“Oh, I’m an RVT. Like an animal nurse,” you explained after swallowing. 

“Ah, that explains the smell,” he nodded knowingly. 

Your jaw dropped. “Are you fucking serious? I wasn’t even supposed to work today-!” 

The guy quickly held up his hands. “I’m kidding! Kidding! Although now that you say that, you do smell a bit like dog. But I like dogs so that’s cool.” You regained your composure as a waitress brought over a basket of bread pieces. You eyed it suspiciously, remembering the hostess’ words. 

“Okay, hear me out here,” you spoke, catching your date’s attention, “but we need to check that bread basket out.” You waited for him to protest or leave but he said nothing. You glanced at him curiously. “Really, you’re not going to question me on this?” 

“Lori, I totally trust you. If we gotta interrogate that basket, I’m on board.” 

“Oh cool. Well, supposedly, our waitress may have slipped her telephone number in there for you because you told them you were meeting a friend,” you explained, grateful for the immediate blind trust. 

The guy rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Yeah, sorry force of habit. It’s still overwhelming that we are finally on a date,” he admitted as you reached for the first piece of bread. You stopped as his words registered.

Did he just say what you think he said? “Hang on,” you paused, “I don’t think I ever told you my name.” The guy’s smile seemed to falter. The other line caught up with you and you felt your heart rate increase. “And what do you mean that we’re finally on a date?” You felt an edge coming to your voice, “I have never met you before in my life.”

Your date reached out a hand to touch you. “Lori, wait just-”

You felt your blood run cold. “You did it again!” You yanked your hand back and used it to push yourself away from the table. “Are you a client or-or-or, I dunno a stalker? If so, there are so much worthwhile people to stalk.” 

The man at the other end of the table sighed and looked at you. “You really don’t recognize me at all, do you?” You shook your head fiercely. “Okay, wait wait, come back. Here, let me borrow your sunglasses real quick. Trust me, alright.” You scooted back toward him and handed him your sunglasses suspiciously. He placed the glasses on his face. “Woah, okay, this room got a lot darker. Um, pretend these are normal glasses. Yeah? Maybe? Er, well hand me the marinara dip.” You pushed it toward him and watch in morbid fascination as he proceeded to stick his finger in and dab lots of spots onto his face. Finally, he puffed up his cheeks and pinched the bridge of his nose. He faced you again and asked in a nasally voice, “D-did Mr. Jenkins say we could use Room 410 for Naruto today?”

You slammed both of your hands on the table. “JEREMY?!?!” You shouted in surprise, “NO FUCKING WAY!” The other patrons of the restaurant looked over in either fear or annoyance. You ignored them. This was Jeremy. Anime Jeremy. Chubby, sweaty, nasally acne prone Jeremy from high school. From the anime club. That you used to save all the time from getting pushed into lockers. Now standing before you, the picturesque male in his late 20s, with well defined muscles, a dashing pearly smile, a clear face and no dorky glasses. 

“You seriously didn’t recognize me?” Jeremy asked, deflating his face and wiping the marinara off his face, “So you just accept random invites from strangers?”

“Uh duh. A random stranger who can draw a monkey riding a farting rainbow unicorn is clearly a stranger I want to know better!” You insisted, staring at him in morbid fascination as he removed the sunglasses.

Jeremy smiled. “Oh man, you really haven’t changed, Lori.” 

“I’m going to take that as a compliment. Now let me see your arm.” 

Jeremy let out a happy sigh as he handed his arm to you. “Of course it’s a compliment. God, you have no idea how nice it is to finally see you again. Life is so crazy, it’s a relief to have some nostalgia.” He look curiously at you who was flexing his arm. “Um, what are you doing?”

“I’m trying to figure out if you have enough muscle strength to crack open a walnut.” 

Jeremy pondered this. “One way to find out, hey! We’re ready to order!” he called over to the waitress who was looking very relieved that she hadn’t put her number in that basket as Jeremy wiped off some residual marinara sauce off his face. “Can we get two plates of the kung pao chicken and if you have a small bowl of walnuts, could you bring us one?”

“Hey!” you protested, feeling somewhat slighted, “You didn’t ask what I wanted. I wanted to order chow mein.”

“Trust me, the kung pao chicken is ahhh-mazing.” You threw up your hands in defeat. 

“Fine fine. What he said, please.” The waitress took away your menus, leaving the two of you alone once more at the table. 

“Er, hope you don’t mind, but I ordered a bottle of wine for the table. It should be coming out soon.” As if on cue, a waitress carried over a bottle with two glasses. She quickly filled up both glasses before leaving the bottle with them. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Ooh. Very nice psychic powers.” You gently poked Jeremy in the rock hard shoulder. “Well I’ll let you pick the wine for sure. But don’t order for me next time without asking me next time,” you gently scolded, sipping the wine. 

Jeremy nodded. “Of course, of course.” He leaned forward and took your hand that had poked and squeezed his bicep. “So do you keep up with anyone from school?”

You let him hold your hand now feeling much more comfortable with the physical contact. You shrugged. “Not really. I know a few of our classmates are still here but I haven’t really run into them that much.”

Jeremy smirked. “I catch a few of them every now and then. Man, it’s totally going to blow their minds that we’re dating.” 

You chuckled. “Yeah, I think I do remember a few people asking if we were dating even though we went to prom with different people.” 

“Uh, you went to prom with someone. I didn’t.”

“Oh shit. Right. My bad,” you apologized. You forgot that Jeremy had been too nervous to ask anyone and by the time he had asked you in what you had assumed to be a last ditch effort, you had surprisingly already been asked by a jock who’s ass you had kicked a month prior. You actually had a lot of fun. You glanced around and coughed, remembering where you were. “Well I just made things awkward.” 

“That’s what wine is for.” Jeremy offered helpfully, lifting his glass before taking a sip. You followed suit. You felt yourself break into a large smile. “Something funny about that?” Jeremy asked. 

“No no. It’s good advice. I’m just realizing I can probably drink this whole bottle if I wanted to tonight since I’m not driving.” 

Jeremy crossed his arms and looked at you in mock annoyance. “And you were planning on taking a ride from a complete stranger too? My goodness, Lori, what would your parents say?”

You shook your head. “No, no. Pshaw, what? Give me some credit. I have a dude who’s driving me around for tonight.” You leaned forward with a wink. 

Now it was Jeremy’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “Wait, you have another guy driving you around for a date?”

“Papyrus kinda owes me tonight after he attacked my car with a blue bone.”

“...This guy’s got a fetish or something..?” Jeremy appeared even more concerned.

“Oh shit, sorry. Papyrus is a Monster,” you quickly explained, taking another sip. 

Jeremy’s concern melted away in an instant. “Ohhhhh. That makes so much more sense. I’m glad to hear that,” he smiled. The smile faltered. “Wait did you say he attacked your car?” 

You found yourself retelling the story of the last two days, minus the monster molestation bit. How the clinic ended up becoming the primary care for a group of dog Monsters and how you ended up getting roped into performing a house call. How a magic mistake led to your car being the target of an accidental assault and how badly Papyrus misunderstood driving instructions. As you were finishing up, the food had already arrived and you were both eagerly digging in, continuing to tell the story between bites. 

Jeremy gave an appreciative whistle. “Wow, your job sounds much more exciting than mine. We don’t interact with Monsters too much at my job, although we are doing some business with one that wants to start his own sparkling wine line.”

“Seriously?” 

“Yeah, but hey, nothing’s set in stone yet so can you like please don’t tell anyone? My boss would be super pissed if he found out I told anyone, even you.”

You crossed your heart. “Of course. Your secret is safe with me. But speaking about being pissed, I really have to use the restroom. I don’t think I went since this morning. Can you point me in the direction?” Jeremy nodded and pointed to the right. “Thanks!” You got up and started to walk away, only to dart back. “Almost forgot!” 

You seized your wine glass and in one fell swoop, swallowed the remaining half glass you had left. Jeremy’s eyes widened. “Damn! You did that like a pro. I didn’t think you had turned into a party animal!” 

You stuck out a tongue and shook your head. “Really Jeremy? You don’t remember what my mom used to say when a group of us went out?” Jeremy thought about it. You sighed. “Never leave an open drink out in public. Either finish it or dump it but don’t come back to it if it goes out of your sight.” Your mother wasn’t an idiot. She knew you would drink alcohol at some point in your life and wanted you to be smart about it. 

Jeremy smacked his head. “Oh man, you’re right. I totally forgot she was the one who taught me that.” He became quiet. “I’m glad you’re taking that to heart especially with what’s going on now with those women.” 

You paled and nodded. “Yeah, definitely. It’s a little spooky. But I have the perfect defense against the fucker who’s doing it. Come closer and I’ll tell you.” Jeremy leaned in and you whispered into his ear. “I’m not hot. Only the hot ones seem to be targeted.” 

Jeremy nearly choked on whatever he had in his mouth and snorted. “That’s awful!” 

“It’s true.”

“Well maybe they were all hot...but you’re hot too.”

“I know, but don’t tell anyone,” you winked. 

Jeremy winked back. “Your secret is safe with me. I want to keep you all to myself,” he ended with an evil laugh. 

You chuckled. “Well that’s totally not creepy. Can you have them box up my dish? I’m stuffed.”  


“Yeah, same here. I’ll flag her down. Want dessert?” You shook your head and patted your stomach happily. “Alright, well go take of business. I’ll be here.” You nodded gratefully and left to find the restroom.

~~~~~

Five minutes and the amazing feeling of emptying a bladder after holding it all day later, you found yourself at the sink washing your hands. You looked in the mirror and noticed that your lipstick had come off during dinner. You reached into your purse to apply the lipstick and froze. “Where’s my wallet?” you asked aloud. You emptied the contents onto the counter and pawed through them. No wallet. “Shit, shit, shit,” you swore, “I must have left it in Papyrus’ car.” You debated calling the skeleton monster right away but decided against it. 

You walked out to see Jeremy going over the check. “Hi beautiful,” he cooed, “I’m thinking about having my boss put up your mom’s words of wisdom on our walls for our patrons. What do you think about that?” 

You laughed. “That would be sweet. Beautiful eh? That is so weird coming from you now that I know who you are.” Jeremy grinned goofily and held up the check. 

“Wanna help me figure out the check?” You looked away anxiously and Jeremy became concerned. “Is something wrong?”

You scratched the back of your head. “Alright, you’re going to think I’m a total flake, but I swear to God, I left my wallet in Papyrus’ car. Can you cover the bill and I’ll pay you back? I promise.”

Jeremy chuckled. “Oh is that all? I already took care of it. I just need help doing the math for the tip, that’s all.” 

You gasped, “You did what? Jeremy, you didn’t have to!” You waved your arms at him. 

Jeremy grabbed both of your waving hands. God he was really strong. “I wanted to. Do you know annoying it is to take out a woman out on date and have to hear her bitch out the server for not having a non fat vinegar dressing?”

“Er...we clearly have been dating totally different types of people? And also I’m straight?”

Jeremy smirked. “Thank God for that. No, I got to take out an old friend on a date and watch her eat like a real person. You’re such a change from the rest of my life. I’m tired of the models who come into my work. I want a real girl.” 

You smiled. “Daww, Jer Bear, you’ve got a fuzzy widdle heart underneath all that tough guy exterior.” Jeremy smiled and stroked your hand, “Alright let me see that receipt and we can get out of here. I have to make a phone call once we get outside.” 

The receipt was quickly settled and you both stepped outside in front of the restaurant. Downtown had become alive with the nightlife and laughing, smiling people walked past you both as you fumbled with your phone. You scrolled through your contacts until you found Papyrus’ and hit call. 

~~~~~

Sans slouched on the couch, his arm dangling off the edge. Today had been a good day so far. Work had been alright. Not too busy so he still had some energy left. He considered even heading to Grillby’s new place if Papyrus managed to set the kitchen on fire again. There was a 50-50 chance of that happening at this point. 

Speaking of Papyrus, his brother had come home a little later than usual. However he still appeared to be his peppy, excited self so Sans hadn’t paid it much thought. He could hear his younger brother hollering from the kitchen in his attempts to cook something. Sans’ ever present smile was relaxed and he slouched further into the couch. He wondered if he slid down far enough if he could bury himself in the couch cushions. Maybe plant a whoopie cushion between the seats. 

A phone ringing caught his attention and he glanced in surprise to see Papyrus’ phone ringing on the sofa table in front of him. Nobody really called Papyrus, especially after 8:00PM. The exception had been Frisk but Frisk had his own special ringtone and this was not it. Usually anyone else would just text him. 

“Sans!” Papyrus shouted, “Can you answer the phone?” 

Sans eyes lit up and he lazily reached for the phone. “i...can’t...arms...too short...and...tired.” He pretended that even that the exertion of lifting his hand off the ground was too much. 

“SANS! ANSWER THE PHONE!!” Papyrus yelled, “IT MIGHT BE-!” His voice was cut off by the sound of pans hitting the floor loudly. 

This piqued Sans’s interest that Papyrus had been expecting someone to call. Using a slippered foot, he managed to knock the phone close enough for him to pick it up. He looked at the caller ID. “what the…?” he began as the words “Second Base!” flashed on the screen. He answered it. “hey buddy, who’s on first?”

A female voice sounded surprised on the other end. “Papyrus? Is that you?” 

“nope. pap is busy in the kitchen. this is sans. who is this?” he asked, flopping back down on the couch. A young woman calling his brother late at night with the name “Second Base”? Sans clicked his teeth together. He wasn’t sure if he should be impressed or jealous.

“Oh. It’s Lori! Hey listen, can you-”

Sans blinked in surprise but the smile did not leave his face. “oh hey. did you know that pap has saved you under “second base” in his phone?”

There was a sharp intake of breath on the end and Sans waited for an answer. He did not expect “Goddamnit Undyne.” The obscenity made him chuckle. “Something stupid happened today and Undyne kept saying that phrase. and Papyrus picked it up.” 

“something stupid eh? that’s pretty vague. care to elaborate?” he asked.

Your voice was annoyed. “No. Listen can you ask Papyrus to go check his car and see if my wallet is in there? I don’t have it with me and I want to make sure it’s not at Undyne’s place.” 

“hey pap, can you go check the car for lori’s wallet? she thinks she might have left it there,” he called. He blinked in surprise as all the cooking and pan clanking stopped immediately. 

“It’s the human?!” Papyrus asked excitedly, stepping out in an apron that said “Cool Cook” with the word “Cool” scribbled on with black permanent marker. 

“yeah. can you check your car for their wallet?” Papyrus nodded eagerly and dashed out the door. Sans returned his attention to the phone. “so what’s your wallet doing in my brother’s car?”  


“Papyrus accidentally attacked my car with magic so he had to drive me to my date.”

“a date eh?”

“Shit.”

“is he cute?” Sans chuckled. 

“Yeah.”

“cuter than me?” 

“Oh definitely.” 

“does he know that you’re kinda a kinky freak?” Sans voice got a bit deeper and huskier at that last line. 

The other line stammered. “Ye-yeah. I have no idea what you’re talking about but he’s like right next to me so you keep those comments to yourself.” Sans smiled even wider. Your voice was wavering. You didn’t sound so sure of yourself there. 

“Everything okay?” a male voice asked on the other line. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. Pap’s brother answered the phone and he’s being a huge skeletal dick.” 

Sans chuckled into the phone. “buddy, keep using words like that and you’ll get to see how much a dick i really am.” Papyrus ran into the room at the end of this particular line holding aloft a red wallet. 

“Why you-?!”

“hey kid, good news, pap found your wallet. i’m going to hand the phone to him now. maybe you and i can make a home run sometime.” Sans was almost too gleeful in handing the phone off to Papyrus who eagerly snatched it. 

“Hello Lori! Lori, language! It’s me, Papyrus! I have found your wallet!” Papyrus announced. Sans shut his eyes, unable to hear the your part of the conversation anymore, but still eavesdropping. “The date is going well? ...Excellent! I shall be right on over to pick you up-eh? Oh, is that him I hear? Tell him the Great Papyrus says hi. Now what’s the address again? I...oh. Are you sure, human? Really it’s no problem. I would be happy to go - he insists? Well if you’re sure. I’ll just drop it off tomorrow with the rest of your belongings. Of course. You’re welcome. Stay safe. Good bye.” Papyrus looked less than pleased as he ended the phone call. To Sans’ surprise, Papyrus tucked the phone into his battle armor underneath his apron rather than returning it to the table.

“so you’re going to go get the human?” Sans asked, playing dumb. 

Papyrus made a terse face. “No, apparently her date is giving her a ride back.” He waved his hands toward the spot on the couch next to Sans. 

Sans shifted himself on the couch to allow Papyrus to sit. If he wasn’t sure something was off, he was now. Papyrus never sat. Sitting involved not moving and Papyrus was always moving. Sans decided to test the waters. “yeah, the guy sounds safe. she said he was cute too.” 

He watched with slight amusement as Papyrus tensed slightly at that comment. “That’s...nice.” Papyrus muttered. 

Sans decided to prod further. “she seems to be pretty cute too, ya think?” Papyrus relaxed at those words. 

“Yeah, I suppose for a human she is. She’s also nice and honest.” Sans doubted the nice part but the honest bit he could buy.

“maybe it wouldn’t hurt to bring the wallet back tonight?” Sans suggested, “you have her driver’s license which should show you where she lives.”

Papyrus hesitated and he thumbed the side of your wallet where a corner of your driver’s license was indeed exposed. He stopped himself and shook his head. “No, I probably shouldn’t. She said she would be okay.” 

Sans shrugged. “oh okay. well you’re pretty smart, bro, and you seem to know the human better than i do. so if you think she can wait a whole day without needing to get any food or drive her car, you know best.”

Papyrus sputtered. “Whole day? Sans, I would drop it off before I went to training of course!” 

“gee pap. I didn’t even think about that. it’s your early day tomorrow too so you could even bring her the wallet as early as 4am if you wanted. that is, if she’s awake and alive at that time?”

“I er, di you say alive?” Papyrus asked anxiously. 

“yeah. you never know. she could be dead tired,” Sans winked .Papyrus groaned and buried his head into his hands. 

“Oh my god Sans!” Papyrus groaned. “I walked right into that one,” he admitted. He stood up. “Perhaps you are right though. Lori would probably appreciate having her wallet tonight in case she needed to buy something tomorrow. Like pasta. I’ll go check with Undyne to see if her car is fixed and then we’ll go.”

“aw, you sure? you don’t want stick around for my bad jokes? i’ve got a ton of them. a skeleton.”

“I’M MAKING THE CALL OUTSIDE!!!” Papyrus announced in frustration as he walked out the door. 

Sans chuckled and spread himself once again over the entire couch. “heh. have fun bro. save some for me.”

~~~~~  
You ended the call and looked apologetically over at Jeremy. “Are you sure you can give me a ride?”

Jeremy nodded. “Of course. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Papyrus is a good driver-”

“You’re a goddamn liar but go on.” 

Jeremy snorted. “Well, in any case, I don’t know where he would come from but I bet I can get you home sooner than him since my car is just down the block.” 

“Good point.” Jeremy extended an arm toward you and you placed your arm into the crook his arm made with his body. “Oh say, while I’ve got you as my personal driver for the next 10 minutes, do you mind if we stop by the gas station to pick up some milk?”

Jeremy eyed you with interest. “Milk? What type of milk?” 

You rolled your eyes. “Cow milk, you perv. Don’t make this weird. I was going to make pancakes for my neighbors since they were nice enough to keep an eye out for me in case you turned out to be a murdering rapist but my milk went bad...and honestly, who knows when I’m actually going to get my car back since none of the Monsters have even asked for my address yet.” Jeremy seemed to consider it. “I have a few bucks on me to cover milk,” you pleaded, “But if you can’t bring me there, that’s cool. I already asked a lot of you today.”

“Oh no I don’t mind. I’m just wondering if I want to buy ice cream from there or wait until I get closer to my place.” Jeremy smirked at you. “You wouldn’t want to come to my place, would you?”

You laughed awkwardly. “Uh, yeah it’s only our first date.” 

“Come on...I’ve got a PS4,” he cooed.

“Ooh, very tempting,” you smiled, “but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass for now.”

Jeremy made an overexaggerated, “Humph!” before you reached his car, “Next time I’ll tell you that I have an XboxOne.” 

“Oof! Well then I’m never coming over!” you stuck out your tongue and jumped into the car. 

~~~~~

Twenty minutes, two ice creams and one jug of milk later, you found yourself pulling up into your apartment’s parking lot. Jeremy glanced around nervously. “Kinda dark here. Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you to your apartment?” he asked. 

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m not far from here, just have to cross the lot, climb some stairs and boom, I’m there. Besides, no knowing where I live just yet.” 

“Well I know you now live on the second floor. I guess I’ll have to wait until the second date to get an apartment number huh?” Jeremy grinned. He faltered. “I can see you again, right?”

“Oh yeah totally. This was the most fun than I had in awhile,” you admitted. 

“Whoot!” he cheered. “Man, this is just so weird. Monsters showing up on the surface. You and I being reunited after all this time. It almost feels like the start of some wacky anime.”

“Huh, it kinda does actually,” you admitted, stepping out of the car. “Thanks again Jer Bear!” 

“What, no good night kiss?” 

“What? Pshaw, if we’re going by anime rules, you and I aren’t going to kiss until at least our 3rd date, dude. And even then, it’s totally going to be under weird circumstances and we may not even know that we are kissing each other,” you pointed out. “Only the bad guy tries to go for a kiss on the first date,” you reminded.

“Oh shit you’re right!” Jeremy smacked his head, “Alright, I guess I’ll go back to my role as lovable goofball. See ya later, Lori! Text me when you get in safely.” 

“Will do. Bye Jeremy!” You waited for him to safely back up and drive out of the lot before you began to walk toward your apartment with a happy hum. Tonight had been awesome. Jeremy was still somewhat of a nerd under his hotness which did not phase you in the least. You still had retained a lot of your nerdy geekiness as well, just maybe becoming a bit more sarcastic and vocal than you had in the past. Your phone buzzed and you looked down at it.

“I want that third date to come faster. How about a second date tomorrow night? Your choice.”

You grinned. The attention was flattering after a very dry period of no attention - again scrubs were not the most eye catching. You quickly typed back, “Feel like burgers? I’m thinking Rube’s off 2nd street. 7:30pm?” 

“Where have you been all my life?”

“Being awesome. Talk to you later. Good night, Jeremy.”

“Good night, Lori,” the phone blinked back before flashing 10% battery. You smiled and lifted a foot to step forward. 

The sound of a stick breaking behind you froze yo in place. You gulped and slowly turned around. The sound came from the unlit part of the parking lot. It was almost pitch black compared to the lighted area you were currently standing in. “Of course, if something is going to make a scary noise, it’s going to happen in the dark,” you whispered under your breath, “Just don’t freak out, don’t freak out. Maybe it was a dog.” You turned back toward the path to your apartment. “90 feet. I could run it if I had to,” you noted. You took a tentative step forward. 

A metallic crunching clanked behind you and you jumped. You quickly whirled around just in time to spot a beer can skitter toward you until it made contact with your shoe. You looked down. The can was completely crushed. Your eyes darted warily up and you felt your eyes dilate at the shadow of something large lurking in the shadows. Not something. Someone. “Shit shit shit shit,” you whispered under your breath, “You don’t know for a fact that he’s coming for you. Just back up slowly and walk quickly to your place and call for Kaylie. Stay calm and stick to the plan.” You took a step backwards, clutching your jug of milk protectively.

The figure lunged toward you the moment your foot touched the ground. “FUCK!” You shrieked, turning around and bolting toward your apartment. Your heart beat a million times a minute as adrenaline shot life into your already sore legs from having worn wedges (your profession called for tennis shoes, not heels). Someone was shouting at you. Telling you to come here or something. Yeah, right, like that was going to happen. You leaped up the stairs nearly 3 at a time, key already out and ready to go. Your heart was pounding in beat with the footsteps as you reached the top and slammed into your own door. “Kaylie!” you shouted as you regained her footing. It was only 9:30. It wasn’t that late. Please let her still be up. Please be up. Youi pulled out the key and was about to put it in when you stopped.

The footsteps were gone. Save for your wildly beating heart, it was deathly silent. You looked around in a confused panic. Whoever the stranger was, they were gone now. Your hands still trembled as you glanced around still. It was just you. “Oh..good. I’m just going crazy…” You let out a nervous chuckle and turned back toward your door to unlock it.

A heavy hand landed on your shoulder with a heartstopping thud and yanked you backwards. They were yelling something but in your panic you had no idea what it was. Adrenaline forced you into fight or flight mode and since flight was no longer an option...You were going to fight! You were not going to die tonight!! You let the milk tumble to the ground as you shrieked your best battle cry, arming your pepper spray as the heavy hand turned you around roughly. With a press of a button, you unleashed the potent mace onto your assailant’s face.  


Except, it wasn’t a face. Technically. Faces had skin...and noses...and eyes. You looked up in horror as you came face to “face” with a very familiar skeleton who was in the process of releasing your shoulder and then quickly bringing his hands to his sockets.

“PAPYRUS!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!! I have no shame about this cliffhanger.


	7. Feeling the Burn (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely love reading everyone's comments! Keep them coming.  
> A side note before we start...I have never been pepper sprayed (thankfully). I know it hurts like hell. So read this chapter with some suspension of disbelief as most of my info comes from my husband who has been sprayed and stuff I've found on the internet.

“AGGHHHHH!!!!” the monster shouted painfully.

“PAPYRUS?!” you shrieked back, dropping the mace to the ground, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-OMG! ARE YOU OKAY?!” 

Your next door neighbor’s door opened and Kaylie popped her head out. “Hey, Lori, I heard you yelling and was just making sure you were-” the words died in her mouth as she saw you two. “What the hell is going on?!” Kaylie gasped. 

“I MACED PAPYRUS!” 

“WHO’S PAPYRUS?” 

“THE SKELETON!” 

“ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!” 

“I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO ATTACK ME!” you yelled helplessly.

Kaylie turned her attention to Papyrus who had sunk to one knee and was wiping frantically at his face. “PAPYRUS! WERE YOU TRYING TO ATTACK LORI?” 

“N-NO!” Papyrus choked out, unable to look up. “I WAS JUST-JUST-I WAS JUST-” He sunk to both knees now. Your panic was now giving way to alarm and fear. 

“PAPYRUS! ARE YOU OKAY?” 

“HOW CAN SKELETONS BE AFFECTED BY PEPPER SPRAY? THEY DON’T HAVE ANY NERVES?!” 

“KAYLIE, NOT NOW! HOW DO I FIX IT?!” you demanded. 

“GET-get him to calm down. He might suffocate himself if he panics!” Kaylie offered, “Hang on! Let me get Jethro!” she darted back inside. 

You knelt to face Papyrus who had buried his skull in his hands. “Papyrus, hey! Stay with me dude. It’s going to be okay! Don’t panic.” 

“IT-IT HURTS!” You placed both of your hands on his shoulders and leaned in. 

“I know! I know! We’re going to find a way to fix this!” Your eyes began to sting bitterly too at your close proximity to the still aerosolized spray and you debated pulling back from him. You decided against it as his breathing began to decrease from panicked sharp intakes of breath to a slower, although still shaky, steady breathing. “We’re going to remain calm and quiet so we don’t draw any more attention,” you advised as your eyes began to tear up. 

“Why do we have to be calm and quiet?” a familiar gruff voice asked. You looked up to see Undyne and Alphys walking up the stairs. “Hey Pap, we parked the car over there. Is that going to work? I can always lift it to the next parking spot if I need to.”

“UN-UNDYNE?” Papyrus’ voice came out shaky as his breathing began to escalate again. 

The fish monster leapt to his side in a second. “PAPYRUS! WHAT HAPPENED?” 

“I maced him!” you sobbed, the pepper spray stabbing your tear ducts.

Undyne looked incredulously at him. “He looks great for someone who’s been hit with a mace! Your training is coming along nicely!” 

Alphys gasped. “No no! She sprayed him with the pepper spray.” The dinosaur monster pointed to the canister that lay dormant on the ground. “It’s a human self defense weapon!” she explained as Undyne picked it up, “It shoots out hot solution that burns their enemies if they push that button!” 

“I just press this button and hot peppers come out?” Undyne asked. Her webbed fingers were about to depress the button but you knocked it out of her hands quickly. 

“No Undyne! Don’t push it!” you shouted, swatting it into the depths below them. 

Undyne looked livid. “WHY DID YOU ATTACK PAPYRUS?!” You sniffled. 

“I-I SCARED THE HUMAN. PLEASE-PLEASE UNDYNE. IT’S NOT HER FAULT!” Papyrus pleaded as he fought to control his breathing. 

“Alphys! What do we do?” Undyne demanded.

“Pour lemon juice on his face!” Kaylie tried to helpfully yell. 

“Lemon juice?!” you asked, “Won’t that make it worse?”

“Jethro says either that or syrup!” 

“What about water?” Alphys asked.

“That might work!”

“Oh for the love of, everyone inside!” you ordered, putting one of Papyrus’ arms over your shoulder and attempting to drag him inside. He was heavy for a skeleton and you found yourself have significant difficulty as he tried to get up to follow. The load was made considerably lighter as Undyne grabbed his other arm and nearly lifted Papyrus off his feet and charged into the apartment. You and Alphys followed quickly in and turned on the sink faucet. 

“Put him under the water!” Alphys ordered. 

“HE WON’T FIT!” Undyne argued. 

“HIS HEAD! PUT HIS HEAD IN!” Undyne made an “oh, i knew that face” before pushing his head under the faucet. You turned to Alphys who was pacing. 

“The pressure is too low on your faucet! Where do you keep your emergency eye wash station?”

“I don’t have one.” 

“WHY DON’T YOU HAVE AN EMERGENCY EYE WASH STATION?!” Alphys yelled at you.

“MOST HOMES DON’T!” you yelled back. 

“DO YOU HAVE A SHOWER?”

“NO-wait, yes I do actually!” Alphys pushed past you and grabbed Undyne. 

“Get him into the shower! It’s our best chance!” Alphys ordered. Undyne looked at her with what you could only describe as pure admiration as she dragged Papyrus who didn’t appear to be recovering too well into your shower. 

“Papyrus! Take off your battle armor! It’s going to get soaked!” Undyne ordered. 

“NO!!” you heard him choke back defiantly. You heard the shower get turned on as Alphys rushed back out and snatched your laptop. You were never more grateful than now that you remembered to close any NSFW tabs that you had opened prior to leaving home this morning. 

“Here! Here!” Alphys shouted, pointing to the screen. “Most mace contains capsaicin which is a ground powder from peppers!” 

“Great yes fine. How do I fix it?” you irritably asked, rubbing at your sore eyes now. 

“It will go with time but-” she stopped as Papyrus let out a painful yelp, “I don’t know how much time we have. I don’t know any monster who has been pepper sprayed!” Alphys panicked. 

You looked around for something, anything that could help your hurt friend. Your eyes focused on the jug of whole milk you had left outside which thankfully hadn’t busted open when you dropped it. “Alphys! Does it say anything about milk?” you asked as you darted outside and seized the jug like it was a football. 

“Milk?? Uh! Yes! Yes! It says to pour it on the affected area to help neutralize the effects!” You ran past her and into your restroom, ditching your wedges as you ran. 

The skeleton looked absolutely miserable. He was shaking, his eye sockets shut tightly as he clung to the shower head to prevent his knees from buckling. Undyne was yelling at him to open his eyes until she caught sight of your new weapon. “Milk! Of course! Alphys is a genius!” Undyne cheered.

You jumped up onto the lip of your bathtub/shower and was immediately grateful you somehow didn’t slip on the wet surface. With your new vantage point, you were positioned taller than Papyrus. 

“Pap!” you shouted, “You gotta trust me here! Open your eyes!” Papyrus winced as he opened his eyes but it was enough. Fighting back your own tears, you ripped off the lid to the jug of milk and doused him in it. Water and milk splashed off of him and hit your clothes, but for the most part you were able to take cover behind the shower curtain.

Undyne was grinning manically. “YES! LORI! MILK HIM! SHOW HIM THE AMAZING POWER OF YOUR MILK!” she cheered way too loud for your comfort. 

“Please, please don’t ever yell those words again,” you begged, realizing that if your neighbors hadn’t heard anything up to that point, they most certainly heard those lines. To your relief, Papyrus seemed to be visibly calming down. The milk might not have completely cured the effects, but it appeared to dampen the unbearable sting. He appeared to be panting-not going to even question the lack of lungs-and his eyes were half lidded. He didn’t seem to be focusing his vision anywhere in particular. There was an orange glow emanating from the dark sockets, but it was so pale that you weren’t sure if there was actually a glow or if your eyes were still tinged red from the after spray of the mace. 

“Whatever you say, punk!” Undyne agreed, slapping you heartily on the back and robbing you of your delicate balance. 

“Fuck!” you gasped, slipping forward, ripping the shower curtain off its bar. The sound of ripping fabric seemed to bring Papyrus’ eyes into focus for him to look in time to see you tumbling into the shower as well. He managed to let go of the shower head long enough to catch you. Sort of. His knees buckled under him and the two of you collapsed with a heavy thud into the tub. 

Freezing cold water drenched you in your date clothes and you gasped in shock at the the change in temperature. The jeans helped protect your legs from freezing immediately but your skimpy tank top did nothing. Your curly hair plastered against your cheeks and you could feel your make up running. You opened in your eyes as the cold water pounded down on your back and you found yourself staring into Papyrus’ startled sockets. 

“L-lori!” he gasped as your weight was pressed entirely on him. Not that your weight seemed to be the issue here. No. The issue was more that your sopping wet chest was pressed against his, judging by the embarrassed orange blush on his cheek bones. 

“Oh my gosh, Pap, I’m-uh!” you stammered, trying to push yourself up by place your hands against his chest only to have them slip against his sleek battle armor and cause your breasts to crash against his chest once more. Papyrus’ orange blush darkened even more at your attempts to get up. You bit your lip. God, he’s so embarrassed about this, your mind scolded you, first you molest him then you assault him, only to molest him again in front of his friends while he is down. You tried to smile at him disarmingly. “Well, at least this can’t get any worse,” you tried to cheer.

A white flash blinded both of you, accompanied by the sound of a shutter clicking. You twisted your head to see a smirking Undyne holding out her cell phone camera. “Nice,” she chuckled, giving a thumbs up, “I’ll leave you two alone.” 

“Undyne, you son of a-!” you tried to shout. However the shower was still on and you found yourself accidentally swallowing a few gulps of the freezing liquid. Coughing and sputtering, you felt around blindly with your foot until your toes found the on and off button. You pressed in the button and the torrent ended. 

After a minute, you were able to prop yourself up with your hands and you stole a guilty glance at Papyrus. He looked absolutely distraught, his chest shuddering as it rose and fell. He appeared to be looking anywhere but at you. Immense guilt and embarrassment weighed heavily on you now. 

“Hey, are you alright?” you asked quietly, hoping he wouldn’t hear you and you could attempt to slink away in the silence. 

Papyrus’ attention flickered toward you briefly before he looked away again. The guilt grew heavier. You could feel the weight of it crawling down your back along with the freezing droplets of water. You wished he hadn’t even looked at you. “I have been better, but I think I will recover,” he admitted softly. 

The bottom of the tub was starting to dry and you could almost confidently push yourself up without the fear of slipping back down against him. “Does it still hurt?”

Papyrus didn’t glance at you this time. You didn’t know if this made you feel better or worse. “Not so much,” he answered. 

The tub was dry enough now. You pushed yourself up quickly. The sudden movement startled Papyrus who reached out a hand toward you. “Don’t-don’t move,” you groaned, and Papyrus’ hand dropped back to his chest. You sat yourself on the bath tub rim. “I’m so so sorry,” you moaned, burying your face into your hands, “I’m going to get you a towel and then I promise you will never have to deal with me again after this!” you assured him, rising to your feet. 

“Don’t get the towel!” Papyrus sputtered, catching your arm and clumsily pulling you back down. You dug your heels against the side of the tub to prevent yourself from falling back into the tub and Papyrus quickly released you

“Uh..do you not like towels or…?” you prompted as the skeleton monster sat up in the tub. Water was dripping off his bones. It was a bit surreal. 

Papyrus sighed. “No, no I just...actually a towel would be nice. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to hide your feelings from me.” 

You looked at him as if he had grown a 2nd head. “My...feelings?” 

Papyrus nodded understandingly. “Of course. You are clearly falling in love with me.”

You nearly choked. “I’m falling in LOVE with you?!” you gasped. 

Papyrus smiled. “Exactly. Your compliments, changing your clothes and then challenging me to a battle. All an attempt to gain my attention. Just as my dating manual stated.” 

You waved your hands. “My clothes and-Wait wait, I didn’t battle you! I-i-!”

Papyrus grasped your waving hands. “I can understand how overwhelmed you must be. Afterall, I am very great. Even Frisk could not resist my charms and he was but a child.” 

Your mouth dropped open and could not close. A dating manual that suggests assaulting people is part of building a relationship? Did he just say he went on a date with a child? How do you even respond to that? Papyrus was getting to his feet now and stepped out of the bathtub, soaking your bath mat. 

“I see. My very words rob you of speech,” he observed. He cleared his throat. “Very well hu-er Lori. I, Papyrus, shall go on a date with you!” 

“Papyrus, er I-”

Papyrus placed one of his fingers on your lips. “Speak no more! I shall take you out on a date that will exceed your expectations! Just come to me when you are ready for our date. Nyeh, heh heh!” Papyrus stood up triumphantly, patted you on the shoulder and left the bathroom. 

You opened and closed your mouth mechanically but no words came out. You resigned yourself. “Well...maybe this won’t go too badly. A skeleton monster feels bad for you and wants to take you out on a pity date.” As soon as the words came out, you grimaced. “Gah, that sounds way worse than it actually is...which wasn’t that good to begin with.” You ran a hand through your wet hair. “I’ll probably never run into him for a while after this. And by the time I see him again, he will probably forget about all of this.” You laughed confidently. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Hey Undyne! Guess who’s got a date with me?” you heard his voice call out. 

You facepalmed. “Oh good God no.”

~~~~~

“Are you guys sure you’re okay to drive?” you asked as you stood in the doorway. You were trying to ignore Undyne elbowing Alphys and winking but it was getting progressively harder the longer you looked at the three monsters. 

“Oh yes,” Alphys assured. “Papyrus drove your car and we took Undyne’s jeep. We have enough seats to get everyone back.” 

“Lori! That reminds me. Your car appears to be broken,” Papyrus offered.

You blanched. “What? Broken? How did you drive it here if it was broken?”

“You appear to be missing the third pedal where your feet go.” 

You looked at him like he was crazy until she realized what he was implying. “Are you talking about a clutch? I don’t have one of those. My car is an automatic.” 

“Automatic?” Papyrus tilted his head. 

“Yes, I don’t need to manually shift gears-are you telling me that your car is a stickshift?” you asked incredulously, looking at his figure and subsequently stocky feet more closely. 

“Of course! Aren’t all cars?” Papyrus asked. 

"No.”

“Nope.”

“I-i don’t think so.” 

“Oh.” Papyrus looked disappointed. 

You attempted to cheer him up. “Hey driving stick is hard. A lot of people my age have never done it. That’s pretty cool that you can.” 

Papyrus smiled. “Another flattering compliment. Thank you human. We will have a wonderful time on our date.” You blushed as Alphys and Undyne exchanged smirking glances. 

“Y-yeah. I’m sure we will. Well, again, I’m super sorry to have maced you and kept everyone up this late.” 

“I’m sorry you gave Papyrus all your milk,” Undyne snickered. 

You looked at her a deadpan expression. “I will buy more, thank you very much. Good night!” You waved them off and they descended the stairs. You could hear Undyne guffawing as they disappeared back into the darkness. You groaned and returned to your home and looked around in dismay at the puddles of water and milk all over the floor. You grabbed a towel and began to clean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We scored a pity date! Yay! Is it really a pity date though? I'll let you guys debate that.  
> Seriously, I love your comments! :D
> 
> Artwork inspired by this and previous chapter:  
> 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Mace Incident Page 1](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-1-668606055)  
> [Mace Incident Page 2](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-2-668628262)  
> [Mace Incident Page 3](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-3-668630494)  
> 


	8. Follow up Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, we're going to start getting into some nsfw stuff soon. There's nothing too sinister in this chapter but you'll see traces of it toward the end.
> 
> Just a reminder, I haz a tumblr! So if you find something fun Undertale/Undertail fanart, share it with me! SFW and NSFW, everything's golden...er, maybe not gore if you can help it I guess. Lol! http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/

“Damn, Lori, you look like shit,” Tim’s voice called out. You groaned.

“I’m too tired to flip you the bird right now. So just accept my waving hand as me flipping you off.” 

“Duly noted.” You felt yourself nodding off a bit until a warm hand gently shook you. You looked up sleepily into the smiling face of Pam. 

Pam grinned down at you. “Cheri said you had a date last night. Is that true?”

You nodded slightly. “Yes, it is.” 

“I’m so proud of you sweetheart. Now did you guys fuck or just make out for a bit?” Pam asked matter of factly.

Your eyes widened and your smile dropped. “Did we what?!”

Pam smiled. “Oh, you’re both adults. Don’t act so surprised. As long as you did it safely, then no harm no foul.” 

“No, no. We didn’t have sex,” you urgently whispered under your breath, “The date actually ended around 8:30PM.” 

“Well, why are you so tired? 8:30 is not that late,” Tim insisted. 

You bit your lip. “I had an incident last night. You see-” you repeated the explanation you had given Jeremy the night before but there were new additions to the story. You admitted to accidentally macing Papyrus and how Undyne and Alphys were able to fix it. You opted to omit the bits where you and him ended up smushed against each other at the base of the tub. Tim and Pam listened eagerly to your story as you ended with Papyrus misunderstanding the circumstances and asking you out on a date. 

“Let me get this straight. You not only assaulted a client, but you agreed to go out with him as well?” Tim asked. 

“...shit. I didn’t think of it like that,” you admitted nervously. 

“Of course you shouldn’t think about it like that,” Pam consoled, “Tim is just being a nervous nelly. I think it’s very sweet. What a wonderful way to start a relationship.” 

You blanched. “Relationship?! No no no no. Nothing like that. He’s taking me out on a pity date.”

“When?”

“Eh, to be honest, he didn’t actually say.” 

“Oh,” Tim laughed, “if he didn’t even give you a day or time, I wouldn’t worry about it.” 

“Timothy you hush yourself,” Pam scolded, “I’m sure that darling skeleton boy was serious. You better start packing a spare set of clothes with you at all times in case he suddenly asks you,” she advised seriously. 

“I’ll get right on that.” 

“Lori, could you come to the office for a moment?” TJ’s voice called out from the hallway. You groaned as you got to your feet and trudged toward the doctor office. You pushed open the door and raised an eyebrow. The normally tidy desk of the veterinarian was covered in papers and open books. He was sitting down flipping through the paperwork you had filled out yesterday. 

“Howdy, what’s up?” 

TJ looked up at you and gently waved the papers at you. “I wanted to say thank you for going out there yesterday on your day off. We have some base values on these monsters...however, I have no idea if these are considered within the range of normal,” he admitted. 

“Soooo are you saying it was a wasted trip?” you asked despondently. 

“No. On the contrary, I will just need to get into contact with the monster professor they have on campus to see if she can provide me with some insight,” TJ reassured, “I’ve already emailed the dean to see if they can set up a time for me to meet with Dr. Alphys.” 

“Wait, Alphys is the professor?” 

TJ raised an eyebrow at you. “Yes. Have you met her?”

“Actually yes. Yesterday. Looks kinda like a yellow dinosaur. She’s nice. She was at Undyne’s house yesterday. Undyne and her are apparently dating.” 

TJ tapped his chin. “That’s interesting.” He glanced at you curiously. “What did Undyne look like if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Scary fish monster.” The words came out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. 

This elicited a smile from TJ. “I could see that. Would you like me to inform you if I hear about from the university?”

“Oh sure. That would be awesome actually, thanks.” You stood up and returned to the back. You weren’t there long. TJ had caught you near the end of your shift and within 15 minutes your watch beeped. 

You gave a sigh of relief. “Well looks like I’m off guys,” you mentioned offhand to Tim. 

“It’s noon already? Man, half days are awesome. Go home and sleep, stupid.” 

“Thank you, I will. I’ve got another date tonight,” you winked. 

“With a human or a monster?”

“With the human, duh.” 

You headed to the employee room and quickly stripped off your scrubs. You had worn a spaghetti string shirt underneath and wiggled your way into a pair of jeans. You slipped on a thin jacket to cover your arms and stuffed the dirty laundry into a separate bag. Due to last night’s events, you needed to go purchase milk again and would rather not have to go grocery shopping in scrubs. 

Your phone lit up with a new message and you quickly checked it. It was Jeremy. You opened up the message. “Hey, boss loved your mom’s message. Talking about getting it made into a wood saying to put on the wall or something. Next time you see your monster friend, can you ask if there is such a thing as monster alchohol? Guys at work are curious. I have money riding that there is.”

You laughed and typed back. “Sure thing. No plans to see any of them soon but when I find out, you’ll be the first one to know.” 

The phone buzzed back with the words: “Sweet. See you tonight. ;)” You tucked the phone back into your pocket and walked out the door. Your mind could already envision the warm sunny spot by your window that would be perfect for napping in. You noticed TJ was also outside, putting a bag into his car. He caught your eye. 

“The university responded already. Dr. Alphys would be able to meet me today actually. Since I’m not scheduled for any more appointments, I’ve been given permission to head over there sooner rather than later.”

“That’s awesome. Can I follow you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I wanna go. Let me follow your car.” 

“Oh. Um. We won’t pay you for this.”

“Duh, I know. Is it so hard to believe that I want to learn something new?” you tittered, “Now let me stalk your car.”

~~~~~

Ten minutes later, you found yourself driving after TJ’s car as they headed to the university. You had gone to college out of state so you were unfamiliar with the school grounds. Although from what you had heard, it was definitely prestigious. At least it better be prestigious after you had to shell out $15 for a daily parking pass. 

Both of you parked and walked toward the Science and Technology Building. Classes must have been changing as you found yourselves walking past throngs of young students. To your pleasant surprise, you spotted the occasional monster student walking alongside their human friends. “Well looks like this people at this school accept monsters,” you noted as you walked. 

“Not everyone does,” TJ gritted his teeth and gestured to a gap of students. Standing in the opening was a man wearing sign and shouted passionately. The sign read “Human Pride.” You paled.

“These creatures think it is acceptable to come and steal your jobs, your wives and husbands for their sinful lifestyle! How long will you wait until they have stolen the very land you walk on?!”

Most of the students seemed to ignore or yell something condescending back at the screaming man. Unfortunately there was the occasional student who dawdled. They seemed only too interested in what the man had to say, nodding along with his words. Those were the people which made you nervous. The small, stupid yet passionate group of anti monsters. 

“This is it,” TJ’s words broke you out of your thoughts as they stood in front of a large building. You stepped inside and TJ approached the receptionist at the front desk. You noted a rather formidable security guard standing at the entrance. 

You wondered if he was here before monsters came to the surface as TJ introduced himself and showed identification. You found yourself wandering to look at some of the models of robotic arms and legs. You could hear the receptionist explain, “You can find her on the 4th floor, 4th door on the left,” she instructed. 

“Thank you. Lori, are you coming?” TJ asked. 

“Uh yeah, I’ll follow in a few. Just checking out this arm,” you admitted. TJ nodded and entered the elevator. As the elevator shut behind the doctor, you returned your attentions back to a robotic arm. You started to hum the terminator song under your breath until you caught the security guard watching you. You hadn’t noticed it before, but he was wearing a name badge with a smiley face that read “Matt.” He wasn’t smiling. “Has anyone made any terminator jokes with this thing?” you asked casually. 

“No.” He remained stoic.

“Any jokes about needing a hand?” you chuckled. 

There was a brief flicker of chagrin and annoyance over the guard’s face before he settled back into stoicness. “Yes,” he grunted, “Too many. I don’t want to hear another one if you catch my drift.” 

“Crystal clear,” you nodded, “those jokes can get out of hand pretty quickly.” 

If looks could kill, your body would have already been buried in a ditch somewhere outside city limits. You chuckled awkwardly and moseyed over to the elevator, rapidly pressing the up button until the doors opened. You squeezed through and went to press the 4th floor when you saw it was already lit up. Another security guard was already in the elevator, reading a newspaper large enough to completely cover his face. Another woman entered the elevator and pressed the 3rd button. 

As the elevator doors shut, you locked eyes with Matt in the front lobby who shot you a glare. You probably shouldn’t piss of any more security guards today otherwise you might be stuck waiting in the car, you realized. You opted to remain silent as the doors shut in order to not provoke any irritation. You glanced at her watch 12:52PM. You could remain silent until 1:00 easily. 

Five seconds later, you were humming the jeopardy theme. Thankfully no one seemed to notice. Or care. You got halfway through the song when you noticed that the elevator had just hit the second floor. “Huh. That’s weird. I would have thought we would have hit at least the 3rd floor by now,” you mumbled out loud. 

“...this elevator runs slow. sometimes it even stops for a bit, bud,” the guard’s muffled voice explained from behind the newspaper. 

There was something oddly familiar about the voice but you couldn’t place it. “Wait, the elevator just stops working for no reason?” you asked in shock. The doors opened as they hit floor 3. 

“heh yup.” 

“Oh screw that. I’ll just take the stairs,” you reasoned, making a move to walk after the quickly departing woman. You felt a hand grab your arm tightly and pulled you back from the doors. You followed the hand with your eyes to see the security guard’s hand around your arm. The newspaper hadn’t moved. “Uh...everything okay?” you asked nervously. 

“your joke earlier seems to have made matt forget he was supposed to search you. you know, since you didn’t sign in at the desk,” the voice tittered at you.

“Search me?” 

“with the antimonster demonstrations on campus, we’ve been instructed to search individuals who slip past without showing identification. for all i know, you could have just told a good joke to make you look less suspicious.” 

“Suspicious? Wait, you mean my hand joke. Shoot. I didn’t mean to do that. I’ll go back down and sign in.” You reached to press floor one but found you couldn’t move. His grip was pretty strong. You were starting to become legitimately anxious now. “Uh..how did you even hear my joke? Weren’t you in the elevator?” 

“let’s just say i’ve got a handle on what happens around here,” the figure snickered. You looked back at the hand holding you. It was skeletal hand. The newspaper lowered to reveal a familiar grinning skeleton. 

“Sans?!” you gasped. 

“yup.”

“You work here?” 

“sure do.”

“Oh. Mind letting go of my arm?” 

His eyes glittered dangerously as he looked you up and down. “maybe. i’m a nice guy though so i’m going to lend Matt a helping hand here so he doesn’t get in trouble.”

“Helping hand?” you asked as Sans released his hold on you. “I don’t understand.”

“i’m going to search you.” You stiffened at the words. You attempted to back up but you were too late. The elevator doors had just shut, trapping you in the small elevator with the short yet no less threatening skeleton. 

You puffed up your chest, attempting to regain control of the situation. “Well you better hurry. We only have one floor left-” no sooner had those words left your mouth, the elevator made a sickeningly loud buzz and grinded to a halt mid ascent. You whirled around to look at the electronic number on the wall but the screen was blank. “Did we just lose power?”

The lights flickered for a moment before completely shutting off. It was dark. You could imagine Sans was probably smiling if you could see him. You strained your eyes in the darkness to try to make him out but all you could see was an outline. He spoke up, “whelp, looks like it.” The outline shrugged. “better go ahead and place your hands on the wall next to me here. i’ve got some questions for ya, bud.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans has some questions for you. Just a few questions. What's the worst that could happen?


	9. Interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we start to hit some nsfw stuff. If you want to skip it, ctrl+ F ***, I'll have a sfw sum up in the end notes.  
> Let's see what Sans has in store for you. ;)

“Wait, you’re seriously going to search me in the darkness?” you asked in exasperation, “How are you even going to see anything?”

“i’ll just have to be very thorough with my hands.” 

You felt your body seize with unconscious anticipation and you silently cursed. “Don’t you wanna just forget about it and we’ll sit here and take it easy until the power comes on?”

Sans deep chuckle was closer to you now. “buddy, normally i’m all for taking it easy. but i’m willing to make an exception in your case.”

“Oh how lucky I am,” you groaned but with all other options exhausted, you had no choice but to do as he said. You faced the wall and placed your hands against it. And waited. 

True to his word, Sans’s skeletal fingers landed at the base of your neck before following the slope to your shoulders. Even with the jacket on, you could feel the trail of sensitivity on your skin left by fingers. Your muscles seemed to relax under his phalanges. Sans noticed your body’s reaction and let out another chuckle. 

“heh, never had anyone calm down when they’re strip searched before.” 

“Wait, strip searched?!” you blurted out as his fingers further traced downwards along the sides of your back. Your muscles began to twitch tensely. 

“if there’s time. i’m not in any hurry. we can always do it next time you drop by to visit me.”

“I didn’t come here to visit you,” you argued. Sans pressed his fingers sharply into your lumbar muscles, eliciting a gasp. You realized how compromising this situation looked and glanced around quickly. “Are there cameras in here?!”

Sans paused as his fingers reached the top of your pelvis. You could hear him shift as his clothes rustled. “yup. but they don’t work when the power goes out.”  


“That...seems like really poor design,” you admitted. You sighed. “How long do these power outages last?” you asked, feeling somewhat resigned to whatever Sans had in store for you. 

Sans drew circles around the tips of where your ileum would be. “long enough to ask a few questions.” 

“Questions?” you bit your lip. He had mentioned questions earlier. But you were hoping he was just kidding or he misspoke. You tried to force yourself to relax and allow your muscles to loosen up. You attempted to focus on the wall. 

“i’m just wondering what happened last night. care to enlighten me, buddy?” His fingers rested on either cheek of your rear. You fought the urge to clench up at the feathery touch. 

Remain calm. Be believable. “Nothing.” Oh that wasn’t believable.

“nuthin huh? that’s pretty funny.” And he laughed in a way that didn’t sound like he actually found it funny. Without warning, he dugs fingers into your fleshy rear, forcing a startled throaty squeak out of you. As you regained your breath, Sans began to knead the spot. “hmm. i guess i was right about you,” he mused as you squirmed in his hands, “you have a nice butt under your uniform.” You attempted to turn around to yell at him and found yourself facing a glowing blue eye. The eye bore into you and all of your resolve melted. “care to try again?” Sans offered as the eye flashed. 

You quickly returned to the wall as Sans continued to “search” you. You would need to end this quickly before he could pick up that his intimidation tactics, although effectively terrifying, were also eliciting a much more carnal response. “W-well last night, my date dropped me off and I walked to the door and Papyrus...he’s really good at sneaking up on people ya know.”

“yeah my brother is pretty cool,” Sans agreed as he continued to fondle you. 

“He is. uh. Anyway he snuck up on me and scared me super bad. And Undyne and Alphys were there and we all had a good laugh and we drank some milk and called it a night,” your explanation coming out hurried and much more anxious than you had hoped. Hopefully it was believable.

Sans paused in his exam. “milk?”

You sensed the hesitancy and you jumped on it faster than a lion on a gazelle. Emboldened, you took advantage of his pause to turn around and face him. Sans seemed startled by your sudden action and the glowing eye flashed violently. He leaned back but stopped as you place a hand on his chest. “Yes, after all,” your voice lowering in an attempt to be sexy as your fingers intertwined with his shirt, “isn’t milk good for bones?” 

That has to be the least sexy thing you had ever said to anyone in your life but it seemed to do the trick. Sans was silent for a moment before he broke out into a genuine laugh. His blue eye flickered out and returned back to its regular solid white appearance. The elevator lights turned back on and the elevator groaned back into existence, ascending once more. 

You shot Sans a suspicious look. “Kinda weird that the power came back right now, wasn’t it?” Any further communication you wished to convey was immediately shut down as Sans was suddenly pressed against you. You blinked in surprise. How the hell did he move so quickly? He hadn’t appeared to take even a step, but here he was now, his arms extended and effectively trapping you between the wall and him. 

Sans snickered. “that is weird, pal. if i were you, i probably wouldn’t worry about it.” Although the tone was casual,you got the impression that worrying about it probably would lead to less than desirable results. “well thanks for the update about last night. pap was really excited last night when he got home so i was wondering what was up.”

“Sure, happy I could help,” you said in a way that suggested you were not happy to have helped.

Sans looked like he was about to let you go but paused. His grinned appeared somewhat devilish. “the next time you think you need some milk though, just call me up.” He leaned in until he was centimeters away from your neck. “i can always give you the extra calcium to fill you up.” You almost jumped out of your skin as you felt something wet and serpentine drag itself from the base of your mandible to your clavicle in one smooth motion. Holy shit, was that a tongue? Why does he have a tongue? Any attempt to maintain the upperhand were gone as the unexpected yet sensual action provoked a moan. 

***

Sans stiffened and pulled back to give you a look that you could only describe as predatory. You slammed a hand over your mouth and looked away. His face lapsed back into his easygoing smile. “welp, i guess we’ll have to continue this later,” he admitted, straightening up and backing away from you as the elevator doors finally creaked open. The cold air of the hallway brought you back to your senses and you stood up yourself unsteadily. Sans eyed you lazily now. “might as well follow me there. i was just ending my break.” You nodded mutely and followed him down the hallway to a door. He opened it up and you walked in. 

It was for all intents and purposes, a laboratory. There were desks, a work bench, a ventilation hood, strange colored chemicals and various tools and instruments scattered across the desks. Robotic limbs and pieces of hardware rested innocently on the work bench. By one of the desks, TJ and Alphys were pleasantly chatting. 

“Hey, sorry I’m super late. I got distracted by the robotic arm,” you lied, because honestly what else were you going to say. That hey, sorry I’m late. Sans decided to grope interrogate me after I sprayed Papyrus last night. 

Alphys smiled and waved, “You’re not that late actually. You only missed about a minute or so. We haven’t gotten far.” 

You blinked in confusion. “Huh?” you looked at TJ and Alphys to see if they were serious. “I swear I thought I was stuck in that broken elevator for at least 15 minutes.” 

Alphys looked concerned. “The elevator stopped working?”

“Yeah, I heard someone say that it breaks down all the time or something?” you vaguely explained, not wanting to throw Sans under the bus quite yet. 

Alphys shrugged. “That’s the first I’ve heard of it but I’ll see if we can get someone to check it out. These elevators are new so they should still be under warranty.” She smiled at you. “I figured out what a warranty is by the way...eh, your phone might not be covered anymore,” she admitted nervously. 

You scratched your head and looked at your watch in disbelief. 12:55 PM. If your watch was correct, you had only been separated from TJ for three minutes? It felt so much longer. In fact, you know it was. But how? You caught San’s eyes and he winked at you. That ever present smile seemed just a bit too smug at the moment. You should have thrown that smug fucker under the bus.

Alphys noticed Sans and grinned. “Hello Sans. Did you find the chip machine?”

“sure did,” Sans pulled out two bags from lord knows where and tossed one to Alphys. She attempted to catch it only to fumble it awkwardly and have it land on the ground. Sans didn’t laugh at her but gave her a gentle smile as she picked up the chips. He reached over to a lab coat hung over one of their chairs and slipped it on. 

Your eyes bugged out. “Wait a minute! You work here?!”

“only when i’m on break from my other jobs,” Sans stated. 

“Jobs?” 

Sans smiled mysteriously and wandered to the other side of the lab. Alphys gave you a look that basically said “just don’t question it”

TJ coughed, drawing back the attention to him. “Thank you for meeting with us on such short notice.” 

“Oh that’s no-no problem,” Alphys stammered, feeling the attention back on her. “I wasn’t a monster doctor so I’m not sure how much help I will be. But I do have some books I brought me from the Underground.”

“Every bit helps. I’m afraid most of our literature on monsters is based on myths and stories. And even those may not be that accurate,” TJ admitted. 

“I’m afraid our literature on humans isn’t much better,” Alphys admitted, “Although we were surprisingly able to keep up with your social culture and entertainment trends.” She was already pulling out some worn thick books from her shelves. “It’s still pretty legible after all this time. For the most part the writing is in English.” 

“And what’s the other part?” you asked curiously as Alphys opened the book. 

Alphys hesitated. “Well some of these books seem to be written in a different language altogether. One that I’ve never seen before,” she admitted, flipping the pages. TJ and you peered over her shoulder.

“It almost looks like Egyptian hieroglyphics,” TJ mused. 

“If Egyptians drew little pictures of smiley faces and bombs, yeah,” you noticed. It was a weird combination of little pictures written in initially straight orderly lines. But as Alphys flipped the pages, the pictures seemed to jut out of their lines until these little doodles were scattered all over the page. Until they finally stopped and turned to English. You caught Sans casting a rapt sideways glance toward the book. “Hey, Sans, do you understand this?”

“afraid not,” he shrugged, “been too lazy to even touch that book,” he explained as he opened a bag of chips and somehow ate one. He appeared far too nonchalant now. It was slightly suspicious. 

“Huh,” you shrugged, returning your attention to Alphys who smiled weakly.

“Sans has proven to be surprisingly resourceful with science,” She chuckled, “He’s kinda an assistant although I think he may know more than me. I don’t know exactly when he actually works, but he does seem to produce results.”

Your eyes flickered over to Sans who appeared to be sitting down to take a nap. The skeleton was clearly more of an enigma that he let on. Before you could commit anymore thought to this curious revelation of his character, you heard the laboratory door open again. 

“Sans! How many times have I told you not to forget your lunch?” You turned around quickly to see Papyrus had barged into the lab, irritably waving around a brown paper lunch sack. The name “Sans” had been scrawled on the bag. 

“oops, sorry bro. i must have forgotten,” Sans smiled sincerely at his little brother. 

“You’re lucky that you have a such a great brother to look after you. Otherwise, you might starve down to the bone.” Papyrus’s grimace of self revulsion and Sans’ immediate proud grin occurred in the seconds that followed. 

“gee pap, i didn’t know you had the heart to care so much,” he responded without missing a beat. Papyrus let out a strangled groan at the pun. 

You almost found yourself chuckling at the sibling interaction before the gravity of the situation hit you. Several thoughts hit you at the same time. Does Papyrus remember anything from last night? Would he be happy to see you? Oh shit, what did Papyrus tell Sans? Would Sans murder you here or wait until there were no witnesses? The combination of delight at seeing the energetic skeleton and full blown panic was almost nauseating. 

Papyrus realized he had generated an audience with his scolding and looked around. “Good afternoon Dr. Alphys, Dr. Human and-” his sockets spotted you and he stiffened. He straightened up and appeared to make himself even more imposing than you remembered. 

“Nyeh heh heh. Hello Lori!” He greeted confidently. “You must be really serious about this. I can see that you could not wait even a day for our date.” 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SFW version - Sans feels you up in the elevator and you successfully lie and turn the tables on him long enough to fix the "power outage"
> 
> Man, let's hope Papyrus isn't too vocal about what happened last night.


	10. Dating Start!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a pretty long chapter. I couldn't find a place to split it without one half being longer than the other, so here's a super long chapter instead.
> 
> There are also a lot of end notes. 
> 
> So, enjoy a perfectly boring chapter with absolutely no cringeworthy moments. :D

“Date?” TJ and sans questioned simultaneously. Fuck. Damage control! You turned to TJ as Papyrus turned to Sans. 

“TJ, see when I went to the housecall, Papyrus accidentally threw a bone spear through my tire…” you began

“...and I felt terrible so of course I drove the human to her human date…” Papyrus reminded Sans. 

“...my date dropped me off at my place afterwards…”

“...Undyne, Alphys and I scared the human by accident when we tried to bring her her car and wallet…”

“...but we all had a big laugh and Papyrus said we could hang out afterwards.” you concluded. 

“No I said we would go on a date,” Papyrus gently corrected you. TJ looked at you sternly as Papyrus patted you on the back. “I see your memory is still shaken by my greatness. I will explain.” He turned back to TJ and Sans. 

“No! Totally not necessary!” you stammered. 

“I think I’d like to know what Papyrus has to say,” TJ spoke and you clammed up. Papyrus was more than happy to continue. 

“Yes. The human has developed romantic feelings for me and I feel that it behooves me to take her on a date.” 

“how did the human show you she had feelings?” Sans asked with a smirk on his face 

You felt Alphys frantically pull your jacket sleeve and you exchanged nervous glances with the lizard monster. Hopefully Papyrus wasn’t going to be too specific on what happened last night. He wouldn’t share everything, would he?

He would. “The human began to flirt with me by complimenting my greatness. She shared information about herself and asked questions of me. And then she battled and defeated me with her pink stick.” 

It was so silent that one could hear a pin drop. Sans’ brow furrowed at the terminology as Alphys bit the collar of her own lab coat to keep from gasping. 

“pink stick?” Sans questioned. TJ mouthed the words silently until realization dawned on him and his eyes widened. You found yourself trying to shrink behind one of the tables in the lab. TJ still spotted you and brought a hand to his forehead. Maybe you’d get lucky and get murdered before you got fired. You haven’t been fired before...but you hadn’t been murdered before either. 

Papyrus seemed oblivious to the change in the atmosphere. “Yes. I remember it like it was yesterday which it was so that’s good. I think it had another name. I think she called it pepp-”

“IT’S CALLED A PINK STICK!!” Alphys suddenly yelled, the sudden outburst making everyone jump. 

Once everyone came back down to the ground, Papyrus faced her. She was nervously laughing and wringing her claws. “Are you sure it’s called a pink stick?” 

“YES!” 

Sans hesitated at the manic looking scientist but ventured anyway, “what does a pink stick do?”

Papyrus attempted to answer but Alphys was faster, flailing her arms in the air as she spoke, “IT’S A HUMAN FEMALE NOISE MAKER! IT MAKES LOUD NOISES TO CONFUSE POSSIBLE ATTACKERS AND IT BRINGS HELP TO THE WOMAN.” 

Papyrus was perplexed. “But I could have sworn I felt like my skull-”

You quickly waved your hands too. If you were going down, you were going down swinging. “I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU DID! WEREN’T YOU CONFUSED WHEN I USED IT?!”

“Yes?”

Alphys flailed harder. “ AND DIDN’T UNDYNE AND I COME TO YOU GUYS IMMEDIATELY?” 

Papyrus nodded. “You did.” 

You laughed anxiously. “SO THERE YOU GO! NOBODY ACTUALLY GOT HURT! EVERYTHING IS FINE!!” 

Papyrus smiled. “I understand now. What an ingenious invention.” Alphys and you were too busy have a good panic laugh to acknowledge this. 

“where’s the pink stick?”

“Eh?” You asked. 

Sans shrugged. “i’m curious to see what a pink stick looks like.”

“Oh uh. I don’t have it right now. I must have dropped it around my apartment,” you answered honestly. 

Sans shrugged. “doesn’t seem like a good protection device if you don’t have it on you.”

Before you could respond, you felt TJ’s hand on your shoulder. “Excuse us for a moment,” he asked, steering you away from the monsters. 

“sure thing bud.”

~~~~~

“I cannot believe you not only maced a client but you’re also going on a date with him,” TJ spoke quietly, keeping up a smile to avoid drawing attention. 

You gritted your teeth. “The fucker jumped me from the darkness. I thought he was a rapist,” you argued. You paused. 

“What?”

“Now that I think about it, even if he was a rapist, how can a skeleton rape anyone without a penis?” 

“Really, Lori? You might be getting fired here and you’re wondering about monster genitalia?” 

“It’s a legitimate question.” 

TJ raised his hand to shush you. “Listen, it looks like Papyrus isn’t going to file a complaint against you. Neither am I...unless...were you in uniform when you attacked him?”

You dropped your smile to give him a hard look. “You really think I would wear scrubs to a date?” 

“Right, so that helps a lot. But you do need to go tell him that you cannot go on a date with him because he’s a client.” You bit your lips at his words. TJ studied your face for a few moments before prompting, “It was his idea to go on a date, correct? You didn’t ask him?”

“Pshaw. Yeah no. You think I would want to date such a cinnabunny?” Your eyes bulged and you smacked your forehead, “Shit, no wait, I didn’t mean?! Fuck!” You didn’t even bother to look at TJ’s smirk. “Fine I’ll tell him.” 

“Tell who what?” TJ and you looked to see that Papyrus had inched his way over to you from the other side of the room. 

You sighed and mustered up your best sad face. “Oh Papyrus, I’m afraid I cannot go on a date with you.”

Papyrus was startled. “Why? Was it something I said?”

You shook your head. “No. My work has strict rules about fraternizing with clients after hours. We are not allowed to date clients otherwise we could lose our jobs.” 

“Oh.” You watched him curiously. He actually appeared crestfallen about this. “I-i see. I don’t want you to get into trouble” Papyrus admitted, looking resigned. 

You felt pangs of guilt strike your chest. “I’m really sorry,” you spoke quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sure we would have had fun.” You meant every word of it. 

“I only hope that you are able to find someone almost as great as me to alleviate your devastation.” 

Those pangs of guilt subsided and you cracked a smile, withdrawing your hand. “I’ll try,” you chuckled. 

“hey bro, what’s up?” Sans asked, having sauntered over to your small group. 

Papyrus sighed. “I am not taking the human out on a date.” 

“oh gee. why not?” 

TJ stepped in, to your relief. The shorter skeleton had unnerved you in the elevator a bit to say the least. “Our hospital doesn’t allow our employees to date clients.” 

Sans whistled. “that’s a shame. whelp. nothing you can do about that, pap. guess the time next you’ll see her is when you bring in your pet to have good old doc check him out.” 

“I suppose you’re right,” Papyrus agreed, starting to walk back with Sans. He stopped midstep. “Ah, Sans?”

“yeah bro?” 

“Sans, do I have any pets?”

TJ and you exchanged glances. TJ suddenly grinned and you felt out of the loop. What did he know that you didn’t? He ignored your suspicious probing. 

“hmm, undyne didn’t put you in command of any guards did she?”

“No.”

“the pet rock is mine.”

“Even though you never feed it, yes.” Papyrus tapped his skull. “If I don’t have any pets...that means I’m not a client...which means-!” He immediately turned around and ran back toward you both, enveloping you in a big hug.

“Guff!” you gasped from the impact. 

“Human, I shall take you on your date afterall!” He dropped you back to the floor and began to walk back to the laboratory door. “Come! Let us commence the date!” 

“Now?” you gasped. 

“Of course!” You looked for help but the doctors were too busy snickering and Sans was already waving good bye. You must not have moved fast enough as Papyrus doubled back, grabbed your hand and dragged you out the door. 

“I guess bye!” You waved back as the door shut behind you. You tried to walk toward the elevator but Papyrus stopped you. 

“We should take the stairs! It helps build strong bones!” 

You were regretting this date already. 

~~~~~

Four flights of stairs, 30 minutes of walking and a whole lot of stares later, you found yourself in front of an Italian restaurant called Tacchelli’s. “Tacchelli’s? That sounds familiar,” you mentioned. 

“Oh, have you eaten here before?” Papyrus asked. 

“No I don’t think so. I tend to remember Italian names,” you admitted.

Unlike your last date, this place seemed much more casual so you fit right in with your jeans and jacket. Well as best as one fits in with a tall energetic skeleton monster. You brightened up considerably as you followed him inside. You were pretty excited actually. You had been craving noodles for a while now. 

The restaurant was a lot brighter than you anticipated. Pictures of Italy and Italian flags decorated the walls. Papyrus walked up to the host and smiled. “Two please.” Surprisingly, the hostess did not seem the least bit phased by the skeleton. 

“Oh hello Papyrus!” she greeted cheerfully. “No Undyne today?” 

“Nope. I have brought my human friend. We are on a date,” he announced proudly, gesturing to you. 

The hostess looked over at you and you waved somewhat shyly back. “Oh hello!” the hostess greeted. She looked closely at you and smiled. “Are you Italian?” 

You chuckled. “Yes, not fully though.”

“Lui è molto carino, no?”

You ran a hand through your hair. “I don’t speak it very well, either. Sorry,” you apologized. 

The hostess waved her hand. “No problem. I’m sure you’d agree with it soon enough. I’ll get you two seated.” The restaurant wasn’t too busy as the hostess escorted you guys to a table, “We’re never busy for lunch. Dinner on the other hand,” her voice trailed off and she laughed. True to her word, the hostess got you seated very quickly. “Go ahead and look at the menus. I’ll send someone over soon.” 

You and Papyrus stared at each other for a moment. “So..how are you feeling?” you asked, breaking the ice. “You know...after uh, last night?” 

Papyrus nodded vigorously. “Much better, thank you.” He thumbed through his menu and set it down. “I was surprised to see you at the lab,” he admitted. 

“Hah. Yeah me too,” you concurred. “We were hoping to meet with Alphys to get some information about monster biology for the royal guards. We’re not sure if they can catch the same diseases that human pets can since they are very similar to our own dogs.” 

Papyrus nodded. “Well if you have any questions about skeleton anatomy, feel free to ask me. I’m very good at skeleton anatomy,” he bragged. 

“No doubt,” You laughed. You glanced through your own menu. “I didn’t know your brother worked with Alphys,” you added.

Papyrus smiled. “Sans is pretty smart even if he is incredibly lazy,” he explained, “He always seemed to be interested in physics more than fighting. Since we’re no longer Underground, Alphys was able to take him on as a lab assistant when the university hired her.” 

“That’s actually pretty cool,” you admitted. So Sans was a nerd. A possibly lecherous, most definitely terrifying nerd but a nerd nonetheless. That admission alone seemed to make him less scary to you, especially when imagined him in dorky glasses and snickered. You noticed that Papyrus hadn’t touched his menu anymore. “Do you know what you want?” 

“Yes. Spaghetti. I get it everytime I come here.”

“Oh. What type of spaghetti?” you asked. 

Papyrus looked confused. “Um, the regular kind?” he offered. 

“Er, I meant what type of sauce?”

“Oh, marinara.” Papyrus looked at you curiously. “Are you saying that there are more than one type of sauce?” 

You weren’t sure if he was kidding but then you realized that Papyrus was not capable of sarcasm. “Oh yeah. A lot. You mean to say you’ve only had marinara?” Papyrus nodded. You processed this information. “We’ll have to fix that.” 

“Ciao! Papi!” a male voice called out. The two of you looked over to see a heavyset man wearing a waist apron approaching jovially. There were flour stains on his black pants. He was balding but what hair he left was massively curly and thick. You were having an odd feeling of deja vu. He slapped a hand on Papi, er Papyrus’ back happily. 

“Hello chef human!” Papyrus greeted back, “How are you?” 

“Good good. But say, Angelina justa came back to the kitchen. Says yous got a date today, heheh?” 

“Yes I am on a date. This is her!” Papyrus proudly pointed across the table at you. The man turned to you and stuck out a hand. 

“Ciao bambina,” he greeted enthusiastically as you took his hand. “Youse look a so different when you’re not in scrubs.” Your brow furrowed. That’s why. He was a client.

“You have...a dachshund,” you remembered smiling, “and her name is Lenny!” You paused. “I actually don’t remember your first name,” you admitted.

The man grinned. “It’s Giuseppe. But I ama so happy you remember my little meata sausage!” He poked you gently and pointed toward Papyrus who watched with interest. “Youse got a great guy here,” he “whispered” to you. Whispering for Italians was just talking at a slightly lower volume which meant everyone could still hear them. Papyrus colored slightly. “If youse can just put some meat on dem bones, that’d be great. Lord knows my Maria has tried.”

“Haha, I’ll do my best about putting some weight on him,” you winked. Giuseppe seemed satisfied with that answer and stood back up. 

“Youse gotta bring her around here at night. Definitely more romantic,” Giuseppe winked at Papyrus who colored even more so, “We’s gota candles, live music. You gotta make reservations cause it’s so romantic.” 

“Ah-ah. I see,” Papyrus managed. You couldn’t help but find yourself amused at Papyrus’ nervousness. 

“Whats ya guys want from the kitchen?” Giuseppe asked, wiping his hands on the apron. 

“Spaghetti,” Papyrus smiled. Giuseppe seemed to understand and turned to you.

“Alfredo chicken pasta please.” 

“Got it. Yous want a glass of wine? Or a bottle?” he offered.

“Wine?” you asked, glancing at your watch. “Isn’t it a bit early?”

“Naw. Never too early for wine. You think about it. I’ll ah comea back.” 

You laughed as he left. “Psst!” Papyrus loudly whispered.

“Yes, Papyrus?” 

“Wine is alcohol, correct?” Papyrus asked. You nodded. 

“Yes. It’s a special type of alcohol made from grapes...although speaking of alcohol,” you remembered Jeremy’s text, “Do monsters have alcohol?” 

Papyrus nodded. “I think so. I can’t tell you much about it though. I’ve never drank.” 

A knot formed in your stomach at the admission. Never drank? Shit, shit. What if he’s a minor? Oh my god, that would explain Sans’ somewhat overprotective attitude. “How old are you?” You asked. Papyrus hesitated. The knot grew. “Uh, okay don’t take offense at this...but you are an adult right?”

Papyrus actually did look slightly offended at it. “Nyeh! Of course. I’m just not interested in drinking is all,” he scolded. The knot vanished thankfully. He shifted his eyes. “You probably should ask Sans. He still goes to that horrible grease bar, Grillby’s.” 

“Grillby’s? What’s that?” you asked, starting to slip out of your jacket. It had gotten pretty warm. You just pulled out your other arm, exposing your somewhat pale shoulders (hey, when you worked full time in a hospital, daylight didn’t come by easily) as Giuseppe returned. 

“Ya guys decide on what wine you wanna try?” Giuseppe asked, holding two plates of pasta. 

You shook your head. “Not today. Maybe next time,” You answered. Giuseppe looked over to Papyrus and began to chuckle. He dropped the plates, shot you a wink and left you alone. You were slightly confused by his reaction until you looked over at Papyrus. He was observing you rather intently. “Uh, Papyrus?” you ventured.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” he asked, looking slightly confused. 

“What’s Grillby’s?” you asked, fidgeting. Had your disrobing really been that distracting to him?

“Oh.” Papyrus coughed and seemed to come back out of whatever state he had been in just moments ago. “It’s a restaurant and bar that Sans used to go to all the time in the Underground. The owner, Grillby, moved his place up here after the barrier broke. I can’t stand the food though. It’s way too greasy,” he admitted, making a bleh face. 

“Ah.” You ate in silence for a bit. You tried to discreetly figure out where the food went that he was eating. It didn’t seem to fall out of him so you settled on magic. Magic seemed to be the reason for the many monster quirks you realized. “This is pretty good pasta,” you admitted. 

“Yes it is, but if you truly want to try some artisanal pasta, you should try one of my masterpieces,” Papyrus insisted between bites. 

“You cook?” you asked. 

“I have been taught by Undyne. I was known as Papyrus, master chef spaghettore.” 

You smiled. “That’s pretty awesome. I can cook a few things too. We should trade dishes or something.”

Papyrus was about to say something when he suddenly jerked back from the table. “Agh!” he yelled in surprise. 

You stood up. “Papyrus, are you okay?” you asked hurriedly.

“She’s got my leg!” You quickly ran around to his side of the table to see what exactly who she was. 

“Oh, hey Lenny,” you recognized. A chubby dapple dachshund had latched onto his fibula and was desperately trying to pedal backwards without much luck. The dog perked up at its name and let go of his leg which Papyrus quickly yanked up on to his chair. Lenny was by no means the epitome of health, but she definitely looked happy and spoiled rotten. The dog was friendly enough as it now ran to you for belly rubs. Belly rubs were easy to give when the animal was 60% belly to be honest. 

Giuseppe walked out and whistled for the wiggly dog. “Lenny, yous didn’t finish your lunch!” The dog yipped happily, gave a final lick and ran back to her owner. Giuseppe shot an apologetic smile in their direction. “Sorry. She’sa smart one. She always gets out of her crate when she knows you’re here.” 

You opted not to question the health code violations that were possibly be broken by the presence of a dog in the kitchen but instead looked back to your date. You raised an eyebrow at Papyrus who was sitting back down. “This has happened before?”

Papyrus nodded somewhat grimly although you swore you could see a slight smile. “Everytime. The stupid dog just knows when I’m here.” He looked around nervously. “She’ll make another attempt after lunch. We may want to finish before her.” 

You found that actually a lot easier than you thought. All the walking had made you rather hungry and you soon finished your plate. Papyrus had somehow achieved the same result (again, magic) and Giuseppe brought over the check. Before you could even take a look, Papyrus snatched it out of your grasp and placed some money down. “Hey! Let me pitch in,” you argued. 

“Nyeh!” Papyrus countered. “I said I would take you out on a date and I meant it. Papyrus always keeps his promises.” You gave up. You would try to pay the next time. Er...no. No next time. Why did you even think that?

“Well thank you for the date,” You thanked him outwardly. “I had fun.” You meant it. 

You were soon both walking back into the daylight. Papryus stood strangely quiet on the sidewalk as you slipped back on your jacket. You swore you could see him shoot a glance or two at you as you redressed but you couldn’t have been sure. Finally, Papyrus was the first to break the silence. 

“So did the Great Papyrus cure you of your feelings for me?” Papyrus asked. 

You laughed. “You don’t have to ask me out again,” you reassured him. 

“Oh. I’m glad to hear that.” Papyrus shifted but made no attempt to move. “Are you sure you’re completely over my rugged features and dashing charms?”

You found yourself snorting with laughter at the descriptions. “Yes, I think so.” 

“You think so? You’re not 100% sure?” You hesitated and gave him an odd look. His voice was a lot less boisterous than normal. He cleared his throat. “What I meant to say was that although this date was successful, I believe we should go on another one so you will be 100% positive that you are not in love with me.”

You blinked. Did you just hear him correctly? “You want us to go on another date?” You asked. 

“Yes. I think it would help you,” Papyrus asserted, nodding at your statement. 

You found yourself becoming irritated. Being taken out for one pity date was doable. But two? His statement just rubbed you wrong. “Nah, I’m good,” you shrugged. 

Papyrus stopped mid nod and froze. He didn’t seem to expect your answer. “Eh, you are...good?” 

You nodded, a wicked smile starting to creep onto your face. “Yeah, I’m good. I don’t need a second pity date.”

Papyrus hesitated. “Pity...date? Although the Great Papyrus is very merciful, I do not understand that term.”

You made a motion for you both to start walking back towards the university. It was going to be a long and most likely awkward walk. He walked alongside you and listened as you explained, “A pity date is when one person has feelings for another person and the other person doesn’t like them like that but they take them out on a date because they don’t want to hurt their feelings.” 

“But I don’t want to hurt your feelings,” Papyrus insisted. 

“Don’t worry, you’re not.” 

“I still don’t understand.” 

You sighed. Oh boy, guess it’s now or never. You cleared your throat. “Er, I’m not falling for you, Papyrus. I know you keep telling everyone that I am madly in love with you, but I’m not. You’re a cool dude and all,” you assured him as his brisk pace began to slow, “but I’m not interested in dating someone if they aren’t interested back.” 

“But I do find you interesting,” Papyrus added, returning back to his normal stride. 

“Romantically interested,” you emphasized.

“What’s the difference?” 

You sighed. Time to do what you did best. Corrupt the innocent with knowledge. You had reached a park like area so you pulled him to the side to avoid blocking foot traffic. “When you find someone interesting, you want to learn about them and hang out with them. Which is awesome.” You sighed. Here it comes. “When you’re romantically interested in them, you not only want to learn about them and see them but you also want to do...other things to them.” 

“Other things? Like puzzles and cooking?” Papyrus offered

“Yeahh...but other physical things.”

Papyrus’s face was blank. “Other physical things?” he questioned, not picking up on your emphasis, “Like go jogging?” You shook your head slowly. Papyrus huffed. “What else is there to do?” he asked earnestly.

Well fuck. You faced Papyrus and gently took his hand. The motion caught him off guard but he didn’t pull it back, so you stood there holding it. “Other things...you know. Like wanting to hold their hand, or running your fingers up and down their arms,” you continued, delicately dragging your fingers up the length of his arm, “or wanting to snuggle up to them and hold them close to you,” you added, slipping your other hand around his torso and nestling your head against his chest as you pressed the rest of your body against him. You made sure not to force yourself on him but even your simple “demonstration” appeared to have a profound effect on him. 

He had gone completely still. Papyrus didn’t even appear to be breathing, although again you weren’t sure if skeletons could breath. He finally gulped. “I ah, uh like this?” his voice came out unsteadily. A pair of shaking skeletal arms carefully enveloped you but just barely touched you. You wondered if he was worried he might break you. He was pretty strong. You nodded to his question, smiling silently to yourself. His next words came out slightly above a whisper. “Is there something else?” 

“Well, then there’s kissing,” you murmured softly to him. You slowly looked up at him, batting your eyelids innocently. Papyrus’ face was an orange as a traffic cone. He hurriedly looked around, as if he couldn’t believe that you were actually speaking to him. 

“I, er, don’t have any lips but maybe” Papyrus stammered, leaning down toward you gently. 

Your eyes widened in surprise. Shit! The absurdity of the situation was too much and you quickly pulled yourself out of his embrace, leaving him holding empty air. “Don’t worry! I wasn’t going to try to kiss you!” you reassured, running a hand through your hair. Man, it was starting to feel a bit warm out here didn’t it? Why were you doing this again?  


Papyrus looked startled at your sudden withdrawal and he stared at the empty space in front of him for a few seconds longer than he should have. “Oh.” He brought his arms back to his sides, only to slowly bring one of them to the back of his head. “I thought you might have wanted to,” he admitted shyly. 

Now you were starting to feel devious. “Nope, I don’t kiss people who aren’t interested in me.” You shot him a mischievous look. “Are you interested in me?”

Papyrus’ sockets widened. “Ah!” He quickly slammed a hand to his mouth to stop his outburst. He took a deep breath. “Hu-er Lori?” 

“Is the answer no?” 

“Yes. I mean no. Wait yes? Which question should I answer first?” Papyrus sighed, “humans are confusing. Skeletons are much simpler.” 

“You can say that again. We can see right through you guys.” 

The pun did not phase Papyrus. In fact, it only prompted a wry grin from him. “Ha! That bad joke doesn’t work because Sans and I wear clothes. And humans cannot see through clothes...wait. They can’t right?” he asked worriedly.

“No we can’t,” you confirmed.

“Good.” Papyrus had brightened up considerably. “But I’m getting distracted. To answer your first question-!” 

“hey bro! hey bud! glad i could find you guys.” 

Papyrus and you turned to see Sans sauntering toward you guys with a big grin on his face. You smiled just as big back at him, remembering that he was a big fucking nerd. “Hey Sans! Good job finding us,” you congratulated, walking over to Sans. 

Sans appeared somewhat surprised at your relaxed response and his smile widened. You’re not sure what message you overtly sent, but he seemed to pick it up loud and clear. “heh. it wasn’t that hard. there’s only one restaurant my bro goes to if he does not cook at home,” Sans admitted. 

“Well, it is a good one. Have you been?” Remember, big fucking nerd. In physics! Almost as nerdy as electrical engineering! You got this.

Sans shook his head, “can’t say that i have actually.” 

“Sans, can you give the human and I a moment?” Papyrus interrupted. You and Sans turned to see that Papyrus had not moved from his spot. He seemed to be gritting his teeth slightly. If a skeleton could looked irritated, it would probably look like Papyrus. 

Sans did not seem bothered the interruption. “okay.” He didn’t move. 

“That’s not what I meant.”

“okay.”

“Can you leave for one minute?” 

“sure, but i need to take the human with me.”

You glanced at Sans. “Is everything okay?” You asked worriedly. You didn’t feel threatened somehow, but his tone made it sound like there was trouble.

Sans nodded, “yeah. alphys has your doctor trapped and going on about that anime show she watches. i told him i’d come get you so you could save him.” 

You snickered. “Man, if he wasn’t my boss, I’d totally ditch him but I guess we better do the right thing, huh, Papyrus?” There was no response. “Papyrus?” you asked, glancing back at him. The skeleton looked terribly conflicted and kept opening and shutting his mouth in silence as if debating on whether to say something or not. He didn’t look at either of you. “Papyrus?” you prodded him with your finger, startling him. 

“What? Yes, sorry my mind was elsewhere.” Papyrus straightened up and seized the hand you had just poked him with firmly. The sudden contact that you did not instigate bewildered you and you looked up at him. Papyrus did not make eye contact with you and in fact appeared to be doing everything he could to appear as indifferent as Sans. “Thank you, Sans. I will accompany the human back personally. I shall not require your assistance-”

“actually, that’s the second reason i came. undyne called alphys while you were gone. she wants you to call her with a report on your activities or something like pronto.” 

Papyrus’ cool face fell. “Captain Undyne said that? I guess I better go then. Good bye, Sans.” He looked down at you and with a sigh, released your hand. “Good bye, Lori.” He turned quickly and began to jog down the street. You had a weird feeling at his departure. You wanted to go now.

Sans didn’t move. “Shouldn’t we get going?” you prompted. 

“in a moment. pap parked his car in the other direction.” Sure enough, the tall skeleton jogged back sheepishly. 

“I...uh...went the wrong way,” he admitted before hastily running away. 

You both chuckled and started walking. “oh by the way, i told him i’d get you back there in about 10 minutes or so.”

You coughed. “Are you serious? It took us 30 minutes to walk here? Did you drive?”

Sans shook his head. “nope. but don’t worry. i know a shortcut.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alphys is a Goddamn life saver, isn't she?
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing Papyrus for this one though. Thoughts? Comments? Queries? Conundrums? 
> 
> Also, before anyone says "Oh hey! That's racist how you wrote Giuseppe, lemme tell you something. That is basically my grandfather right there. The only thing missing is that I didn't have him yelling "Them, damn feckin squirrels!" which my grandfather yelled everyday because the fucking squirrels would go after his roma tomatoes. 
> 
>  
> 
> ....I'm thinking about adding the tag "yandere papyrus"...you know...just because. No real reason. Definitely not anything indicative of chapters to come. Should I?
> 
> Edit: After having read stories containing the tag "yandere papyrus"...holy shit. nope. this is a comedy...not er those stories. so the tag that will be added might be possessive papyrus depending on how things go.


	11. A Change of Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo!!!! Here we go! Next Chapter!! I am not as proud of this one as I have been on the rest, but hope you will bear with me as we get through it.

You could not even fathom what type of shortcut Sans could be referring to. You debated on questioning his logic or asking if he intended to sprout wings and fly. You pursed your lips together instead and continued walking alongside him silently. Sans noticed you thinking. “hmm. looks like you’ve got something you want to say.”

You didn’t really want to share your thoughts but he asked in such a way that he expected an answer quickly. You suddenly remembered Jeremy’s questions and lack of information Papyrus provided. “Ooh! Actually yes! It’s kinda silly, but do monsters have alcohol?” You gratefully asked. 

“yup.” Sans nodded. 

“Really?” His answer caught you off guard. “Is it similar to human alcohol in anyway?” 

“sorta. the tastes are pretty varied depending on what you order. you can also get drunk on both too. the effects are different.” 

“The effects?” 

“yeah. monster alcohol is magic based. it’s supposed to bring out and emphasize the good parts of you. however, it doesn’t hide who you really are though and if you drink too much you might share things you’d rather not. human alcohol...er..doesn’t quite seem to do that. at least not every time.” Sans appeared to wince as if recalling some memory. You could attest to that. You could remember plenty of times you went clubbing only to see people who drank too much either fight, cry or fuck. It was an even split between all three. 

“Huh. So it makes things fun and can be used as truth serum if you do too much of it,” you summarized proudly. 

“you’d probably have to slam a couple back before you get to that point. a lot of first timers are real susceptible cause you don’t know your limits until you’ve hit them. it’s best to go drink with someone who has drank before to make sure you don’t accidentally hit that limit.” Sans put his hands in his pockets and shot you a lazy glance. “why do you ask?” 

“The guy I’m dating works at a wine restaurant and he was curious,” you admitted. Sans nodded again and continued to walk. “Uh...do you know any places around here that serve monster alcohol?” you asked hesitantly.

“sure do. grillby’s. i’ll take you there tonight,” Sans informed you. 

“Thanks but I actually have another date with the guy.” 

“bring him too,” Sans offered. 

You smiled. “Alright, we’ll see.” You both walked in silence. Sans also seemed to be thinking about something but you didn’t press the issue. Finally, he spoke. 

“got a favor to ask bud.” 

“Go for it.”

“i care a lot about my brother...but you don’t need to tell him that we are going to grillby’s tonight,” he mentioned casually. 

You watched Sans carefully. He was still smiling as he said this. “I don’t like to keep secrets from friends,” you admitted, “Can you tell me why?”

Sans nodded. “sure. papyrus always gets on my case when i go to grillby’s. says the food is awful, greasy. you know. i don’t need to get chewed out from him tonight.”

“Oh, in that case, yeah, totally,” you winked. “But, uh, what makes you think I’ll be talking to him tonight before I see you?”

“call it a hunch.” Sans winked back. “another thing...you don’t need to answer every question pap asks you. i know he’s not the most worldly and he’s really excited to learn, but i mean, you don’t need to tell him everything.”

You huffed. “Dude, he’s an adult right? Would you rather him find things out from a friend or someone he doesn’t know?” You were surprised at your resistance. Sans cracked an even larger smile at your tenacity. 

Sans waved his hands defensively. “i know. i know. just don’t tell him everything you know. do you know how weird it is to have your younger brother explain in graphic detail how humans castrate their animals to prevent overpopulation and incest while you’re trying to eat breakfast?” 

You paled. “Oh my God, he didn’t!” 

“he did...so for my sake?”

“Yeah, yeah. No absolutely,” you hurriedly agreed. You reflected on his words. “I’m actually surprised your brother remembered everything that I said. I only told him once.” 

“papyrus is a very good listener. especially with those he cares about.” You bit your lip but said nothing, letting the words hang in the air. Sans continued the same pace as if he said nothing. “so you guys going out again?” 

You thought about Papyrus’ response to your question. He might be an adult, but he certainly didn’t act like one. And if he was playing a game with you-well you had enough experience to know you didn’t need to go through that again. Too many heartaches over men who tried to play games. You either liked someone or you didn’t. And his lack of yes meant one thing. A no, an awkward once but still a no. “No. I told him I didn’t want to go out on another pity date and he doesn’t like me like that, so no. I”m back down to dating one guy now.”

“weird.” 

“Why? You know something I don’t?”

“nah. he seemed real excited when he talked about you.”

“Yeah, well people can act differently around family than they do around other people,” you laughed. 

“so you guys aren’t in a relationship?”

“The only ship he and I share is a friendship.” 

Sans laughed heartedly at the bad joke. “cool. i didn’t want to accidentally go hunting on brother’s territory, you know?” Territory? 

You debated telling him to fuck off but held back. Sans was still smiling. It was hard to tell if he was serious. You leaned in close to stare at his face before sticking out a tongue at him. “I’m trying to figure out if you’re fucking with me or not.” 

“not at the moment, but i can change that,” Sans replied back huskily. 

A shiver ran down your spine. It had been a while since you were physically intimate with anyone. You didn’t seem to have much “me time” these days either. But even if you had more “me time”, nothing could compare to the touches from another person. Sans seemed to sense your aroused apprehension and chuckled lowly. “it’s totally up to you. but it looks like we’re here now.” 

You jerked your head around and sure enough you had arrived at the lab door. “It’s been 8 minutes...how the fuck did we get here so fast?” 

“i know a lot of shortcuts.” 

“I don’t even remember walking into the building!” you insisted. 

Sans shrugged. “maybe you should have been more observant of my actions than my words.” 

It was a losing battle to try to figure it out, so you stopped. You settled for opening the door and walking in. TJ was holding a mountain of text books that touched the bridge of his nose while Alphys still added to the pile. She was talking animatedly to him and you could catch the occasional phrase, “and if you really like robots, I would recommend you read this series!” 

You stepped in at this point. “Thanks for waiting, TJ. I’m here to help you carry the books out to your car.” TJ shot you a look of gratitude as you seized the top half of the stack. To your not surprise, this half of the stack was all various manga books. 

Alphys gave you both a sheepish grin. “Ooh! M-maybe I overdid it a bit.” 

“No, this is fine. Thank you again for seeing us on such short notice,” TJ reassured the nervous scientist. “I’ll bring these books back as soon as I am able.”

“Oh. oh. There’s no rush. I have another project I’m working on,” Alphys admitted, gesturing to the robotic ligaments strewn about. “Some prosthetics advancements I hope. You-your current models don’t have the same fluidity as regular appendages and the more advanced models aren’t really in the price range for the average person.”

“Dude! That’s awesome! People in my field are kinda fuc-er, screwed if they lose an arm,” you corrected yourself in the presence of your boss. 

Alphys smiled proudly. “Well I’ve got a ways to go, but I have had some practice when I was living underground with Met-ermonster volunteers. But now that there are more resources above, I think I can do more. At least I can try.” 

Everyone said their goodbyes as you and TJ left the lab with arms full of literature. Thankfully, you were allowed to take the elevator down this time. Matt was nice enough to not let the door slam you in the face when he held it open for TJ. It was a good day. Sorta. 

“Would you mind taking the anime?” TJ asked hopefully as you both approached your cars. 

“No way dude. Be responsible and take care of your own load, TJ,” you smirked, placing the books into the back seat of your car. 

“Well, didn’t hurt to ask. Are you working tomorrow?”

“Nope. Not till Monday.”

“Really? You have the weekend off? What did you have to do to get that?”

“I had to jump a skeleton’s bones.” 

“What?”

“I got lucky,” you shrugged, “although you can totally call me in if you need help.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind, but we should be good,” TJ admitted, “Have a good weekend!” You climbed into your car and started driving toward the direction of the grocery store nearest to your house. It didn’t take terribly long as the Friday night traffic hadn’t hit yet. 

As you entered the store and started to head toward the dairy section, you couldn’t help but notice the vine ripe tomatoes. 89 cents a lb? That was pretty good. The basil and garlic were on sale too. You had the base for a marinara sauce right there. When was the last time you actually made spaghetti at home? Your ancestors would be ashamed of you!

You couldn’t help but let your mind wander over to Papyrus as you grabbed another pound of tomatoes. You wondered what the hell artisians pasta was, having only heard the name in frou frou restaurants that charged you $65 a dish. Did that mean he know how to make noodles from scratch? You gritted your teeth. “I’m not even good about making uniform noodles by hand and some skeleton is making fancy pasta without a muscular system.” You didn’t even know when the next time you were ever going to see Papyrus again and here you were stocking up on pasta making supplies. But it was too late and you weren’t strong enough to stop. 

By the time you reached the milk, your cart was halfway full with basil and pesto and tomatoes and garlic and onions and pasta. Lots of different pasta. You were doing this for yourself, dammit. You had to remind yourself of this message as many times as it took you to actually believe it. 

The clerk eyed you curiously as you threw everything on the conveyer belt at the register. He began to scan your items as you checked your phone. “This is going to sound weird,” the clerk interrupted, “But you don’t happen to know a skeleton monster, do you?” 

Your mouth dropped open. There was no way. “Yeah, I do. Why?”

The clerk chuckled to himself. “I mean, this is pretty much exactly what he buys every time he comes here. Minus the garlic.” You didn’t know whether to be more shocked that Papyrus shopped at the same store as you or that he somehow cooked pasta without garlic. 

“He doesn’t buy garlic?” You went with the second option. Because that was much more shocking to you. You slid your credit card through as another clerk walked up.

“You talking about Papyrus?” 

“Yeah. The lady knows him.” 

“Oh that’s cool. Did you guys come here together?”

You froze. “I’m sorry?” You must have heard him incorrectly. 

The other clerk nodded. “Yeah, I thought you were together since he followed you in-” this has to be a joke. “Like, you guys went to every aisle together.” There’s no way. 

“Are you sure that was him?” you asked, “I could have sworn he had training right now.” 

“Haha, who could forget a skeleton who wears a cape?” … “Even if I wasn’t sure, I totally heard him go ‘Nyeh!’ when he ran into one of our end aisle displays. I don’t know anyone else who even says ‘nyeh.’” Mother fucker, neither did you. 

Your mouth went on auto pilot with a “Oh that’s very interesting,” before nabbing your receipt and darting out the door with your groceries. You tossed them into the trunk and leapt into the driver's seat. The ignition roared to life and you began to accelerate forward.

"Hello human!" -only to immediately slam on them as Papyrus popped up in front of your car with a friendly wave. Although you were fast and the car stopped quickly, your bumper still hit Papyrus and knocked him down to your horror. You shifted into park, hit the emergency lights and jumped out of the car. You ran to the front, expecting the worst.

Papyrus was lying on the ground and although looking slightly stunned, looked intact and perfectly fine. He spotted you and waved again from his position on the street. "Hello Lori!" he greeted enthusiastically.

"Jesus, Pap, are you okay?" You gasped. 

"Of course. You just tapped me is all."

You breathed a sigh of relief which quickly turned into rage. "Oh good. In that case, what the fuck were you thinking?!" You yelled at the prostate skeleton. Your shouting startled him and he looked around nervously. 

"Er..."

"Were you fucking following me in the store?!"

"Not exactly. At least not at first."

"Oh well that makes it alright then."

"Really?"

"Of course it fucking doesn't!"

"Are you seriously yelling at a monster you hit with your car?" You looked to the side and saw a group of about 5 people had gathered to watch the scene unfold. The woman who spoke had her arms crossed and looked at you disapprovingly. 

"Don't worry, human. Lori and I are dating!" Papyrus explained from his lying position. 

"No we're not!" You growled back. 

"Oopsy daisy. You're right. She and I are friends who have dated." That was slightly more accurate so you let it go. 

"Ya'll don't seem to be acting like friends," she criticized. 

"I'm yelling at him because he scared me. I thought I hurt him!"

"You're yelling at him because you care about him?"

"Fuck, yes!" You yelled exasperatedly. The woman seemed to understand this somehow and gave you guys some space. You looked at Papyrus who seemed to be smiling even wider. "What did you want Papyrus?"

"I want to ask you to hang out with me."

You blinked. "Hang out?" 

Papyrus nodded. "Yes. You see-"

You held up a hand. "You need to stand up if I'm going to take you seriously. It feels super weird talking to you on the ground."

Papyrus nodded and leapt to his feet in one graceful maneuver. You were impressed but you were not going to tell him. He would think you were flirting again. 

"You see, after you left, I was thinking. I have never gone on a second date. I haven't even reached that chapter in my dating manual. So I need time to read it to see if we should go on another date. The prerequisites are different," He explained matter of factly.

"How so?"

"I don't know. I only read the first sentence which said that the prerequisites for the 2nd date are different than the first date."

"Oh."

"It will take me some time to study it but I do want to see you again even if i don't know if i like you romantically. So let us hang out instead?"

You opened your mouth to question the logic but stopped. You had only known him for maybe 2 days? Possibly 3. During which you had groped each other, assaulted him and then dated him by accident. Hanging out to get to know him better might not be a bad idea. 

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah let's hang out."

"Yes!"

"On one condition."

"Yes?"

"You tell me why you were stalking me?"

Papyrus looked embarrassed about your question. "I wasn't stalking you. I was observing you." Your face must have remained confused because Papyrus continued to explain. "You were clearly gathering ingredients for spaghetti. I wanted to see if humans made spaghetti differently. It was also the perfect opportunity to practice my stealth techniques"

"Alright..."

"The humans who work at the grocery store told me that they informed you that I was following you. I was hoping to find you to explain that I wasn't following you to scare you. I was admiring your spaghetti gathering techniques."

"Admiring my spaghetti gathering techniques?" Of all the compliments you had received from men, this was perhaps the strangest yet somehow most endearing one you had received in a long time. 

"Yes. Although you are lacking some essential ingredients to truly make a masterpiece, I would be happy to demonstrate my cooking prowess for you," Papyrus graciously offered. 

You had to laugh at this because honestly what else could you do. 

"Fine fine. Where do you want to hang out?"

Papyrus thought about it. "How about my house at 2pm tomorrow? I have all the pots and pans. You can just bring these groceries."

"Hmm. Would you mind taking them with you now? I don't have that much room in my fridge. Just let me take the milk back."

"What a clever idea," Papyrus exclaimed. You helped separate the groceries and watched as he lifted all of them in one hand and placed them in his car. He really was pretty strong. It would have been downright scary if he was evil. 

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow I guess," you chuckled. He nodded and but didn’t move. He kinda shifted from one foot to the other awkwardly. "Uh? Something wrong?"

Papyrus glanced away, the faintest trace of orange on his cheeks. "Er. It's nothing." Liar. Well if he wasn't going to tell you. You darted in before he could recover and gave him a quick tight squeeze. 

"Can't wait for tomorrow!" You cheered. You felt his head rest gently on the top of your head before you could finish the hug and he seemed to sigh. 

"I like you," Papyrus muttered quietly. 

"Ah, what was that?" You asked, pulling back from him.

"I said me too." Papyrus spoke up quickly. 

"Oh. Cool."

The drive home went by quickly and you soon found yourself entering your apartment with a goofy smile on your face and a new jug of milk in your hand. You couldn't help but feel excited. You wondered what type of house skeletons lived in? Was it a cemetery? Was it racist to even assume that? Or was it speciesist? Either way, you were excited. More so than for your second date with Jeremy you realized. Which you probably should start getting ready for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhh, I promise it will get better. But hopefully this will work for now. We may start to see the beginnings of a triangle..? 
> 
> Btw, thank you for giving me a suspension of disbelief regarding monster alcohol. Trust me, there is a reason for it. So please hang around. :D


	12. Gettin Burgs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god!! Your guys' response to last chapter just made me feel like jelly! Thank you for being so supportive-especially of a chapter that I wasn't that particularly proud of at the time, but now looking back at wasn't too bad.

In the end, you opted to use Lyber to get downtown. (It was still amazing to you that Uber and Lyft had combined forces to make the ultimate ride sharing organization.) Normally you enjoyed driving and honestly you had not planned on the date extending longer than dinner, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to be prepared in the off chance there was alcohol involved. Especially monster alcohol. 

You scolded that idea as soon as it popped into your head. You hadn't even told Sans where you were going, much less given him your number. The monster might know where his brother goes, but he had no idea about yours truly. He might be spooky, but you were pretty sure he couldn’t read minds so your date looked like it was going to be uneventful. 

You reapplied your make up one last time as you sat in the backseat of the Lyber car. The driver wasn’t speaking much which allowed you some time with your thoughts. You checked your clothing out. Low riding scoop neck with a zip up hoodie and jeans. Yup. You were ready. The Lyber car finally dropped you off and you walked confidently into the restaurant. Jeremy waved you down as you entered and you sat in the booth with him.

"So bad news, I’ve gotta keep my phone out. There's a chance I might get called into work tonight." He apologized, gesturing to his cellphone on the table. 

"Oh dude that sucks," you sympathized "Yeah no problem. Did you wanna reschedule?"

"Thanks for understanding. Nah. Unless you got someone you'd rather go out with," Jeremy offered. 

You chuckled. "No, I’ve got no one else tonight. Although now that you mention it, I am hanging out with Papyrus tomorrow to learn some cooking."

Jeremy arched an eyebrow at you. "But you're Italian. Don't all Italians know how to cook from birth?"

You snorted as you took a sip of a Coca cola the waiter had brought. "First, I'm only half. Second, that's racist."

Jeremy nodded. "But you get what I mean.” He whistled lowly. “From what you've described, he sounds like a cute kid. I wonder if he'll still be as enthusiastic about life when he is an adult."

"He is an adult," You admitted. Jeremy looked surprised. 

"Seriously?" Jeremy chuckled. "Who still has cooking lessons when they're an adult?"

You half smiled at this. "Apparently I do,” you confessed. “plus, I think it's kinda sweet that he wants to teach me how to cook."

Jeremy played with his straw. "If you ask me, I think he might have a crush on you."

You chuckled. "Perhaps. Personally, I think it's to make up for me nearly running him down with my car this afternoon in the grocery parking lot."

"Haha what?"

"Oh man. Get this. He was trying to find out how I cook pasta while I was shopping and then he jumped in front of my car to say hi and I tapped him with the grill," you excitedly explained.

"Oh my god, what a fucking idiot," Jeremy laughed. 

You felt a jolt go down your spine and you stopped laughing. The way he said that phrase did not agree with you and your smile vanished. You shot Jeremy an irritated look. "I don't think he's an idiot. He might be naive, but he's not stupid," you criticized. 

Jeremy blanched at your comment. "Oh er. That's not what I meant - what I meant was that he wanted to get hit so you would feel bad and go hang out with him because he's actually acting so dumb to hide the fact that he is really clever?"

"Good save? I think?" You gave him a patient smile as Jeremy's smile returned to normal.

“But seriously. I really do think he has a crush on you,” Jeremy suggested with a smirk. You blew a raspberry and waved at him. 

“Go on tell me another one.” 

“I wouldn’t blame him. He has great tastes. But he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He might be an adult, but he can’t act like a real man. And you need a man,” Jeremy puffed out his chest slightly. 

“Jeremy, if you start beating your chest and yelling words like ‘Me Tongo!’, I think I’d find your ranting much more tolerable,” you chuckled. Jeremy’s chest deflated and he laughed. 

“Well, I mean you are an amazing, unique woman. You’re so different. Any man would be an idiot to not seize the opportunity to date you. You like totally deserve to be in a relationship with a guy who will place you on a pedestal and worship you.” You made a face at his words. 

“Ew.”

Jeremy’s face fell. “Ew?” 

“Go back to the Tongo bit.”

“What’s wrong with being placed on a pedestal?” Jeremy’s eyes narrowed. 

You laughed humorlessly as you guys placed your orders. “Thing is,” you began, “nobody is a special little snowflake. You’re bound to like/dislike things that a lot of other people like/dislike. So saying because I’m different and unique aren’t good reasons for men to date me. And for that pedestal bit...well when you’re placed on a pedestal, there’s nowhere else for you to go but down. Especially when you have a terrible sense of balance.”

“But you wouldn’t go down!” Jeremy insisted, seizing your hand passionately. “You would never disappoint me!” 

You gently peeled his fingers off your hand. “Okay, Jeremy, everyone gets disappointed at some point in their life. It’s not fair to expect a woman to always be perfect. I probably disappoint at least one person a day, and that’s not me being self deprecating in any way.” 

Jeremy clenched his fingers where your hand once was and grimaced. It was a tense few seconds that you were starting to sweat under before he finally took his fist and pounded it against his chest. “Me Tongo!” he yelled triumphantly with a huge bright smile on his face. 

You laughed much harder than you intended covering your nose to avoid shooting coca cola out of your nostrils. “Oh my God, Jeremy, my nose is burning!” you snorted, covering your face. Jeremy laughed at your reaction. The other patrons in the diner looked around uncomfortably and tried to give you guys even more space. 

“Oh man, speaking of pedestals, guess who keeps coming into my restaurant?” You coughed and shrugged, still smiling as you wiped your face. Jeremy leaned in. “Chelsea.”

Your eyes widened. “Chelsea? As in Chelsea the fucking cheerleader?” 

“The very one.” 

Chelsea. Oh man, Chelsea. If your high school was a teenage romance movie, Chelsea would have been the beautiful, stuck up blonde bitch who bullied you and your friends relentlessly until she finally got her comeuppance with some hilarious prank at the end of the year that made her regret all of her actions. Unfortunately, your high school was not a teen movie, there was never any comeuppance and you bolted at the chance to leave and never look back instead of seeking revenge. Thankfully, burgers arrived and you were more than happy to break that train of thought. 

Your rubbed your temples with the memory. “I was this close to breaking that bitch’s nose if her parents wouldn’t have sued my family for everything we owned,” you chuckled, “Man, I totally forgot about her till you mentioned it.”

“You forgot about her?” Jeremy asked astounded. 

You shrugged, “After her brother took me out to prom and we graduated, I didn't really see her. Out of sight, out of mind. We didn’t have mutual friends so I didn’t hear anything. How’s she doing?” 

“She’s exactly the same, except she’s considered a socialite now.” 

“Bummer.” You took another bite out of your burger. 

Jeremy groaned. “Haven't seen Robbie though. He was probably the only nice one in her family. She and her stuck up friends come in every now and then. I’m so mad that we never got back at her for all the hell she put us through.” 

You tittered and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Jeremy, you know we gotta be the bigger people.” Jeremy grumbled under his breath. “We can’t hold grudges. We’re adults now.”

“I guess…”

“And as adults, we are totally able to drive to the drug store, buy an economy stack of toilet paper, and TP the fuck out of her house,” you reminded sweetly. 

Jeremy gaped at you and laughed hysterically, his manly voice cracking like you remember it doing in high school. “Oh, she still lives with her parents. We could totally do that,” he schemed, wiping his face. 

“Creepy that you know where she lives now, but I’ll overlook it if you buy the toilet paper and I’ll get the black ski masks.” 

Jeremy opened his mouth but paused as something outside caught his eye. His eyes widened and he paled. “Holy shit!” he gasped, “Was that a skeleton in the window?!” 

Your own eyes widened and you turned to where he was pointing. There was nobody there but Jeremy’s reaction appeared legitimate. “Fuck, I don’t see him. I can’t believe Papyrus found us!” you gasped, pressing your face against the window and looking around. 

“he didn’t,” a familiar deep voice intoned behind you. You relaxed slightly, recognizing the voice and cast a glance at Jeremy. He was terrified and didn’t turn away from the window. “is this your guy? doesn’t he know how to greet a new friend?” You looked to see Sans in his blue hoody sticking out a skeletal hand for a handshake. This scene looked strangely familiar. You made “eye contact” with Sans and he winked at you. Oh this was going to be good. 

“What should I do?” Jeremy whispered, having not turned around yet. 

“He wants you to shake his hand,” you whispered loudly. Sans smile grew wider. 

Jeremy regained his nerve and turned around. He had assumed a tough guy stance and reached to seize San’s hand which admittedly looked somewhat small compared to Jeremy’s large muscled one. “Hello, I’m Jer-” he began. 

The unmistakable sound of loud flatulence echoed throughout the restaurant. It became deathly silent. Then you and everyone under the age of 16 lost their fucking minds and burst into laughter...which considering it was a burger joint, this was actually a good portion of the patrons. Jeremy’s eyes flickered down to his hand and saw concealed in San’s skeletal palm was a bright red whoopie cushion. Sans was chuckling. It was fucking funnier when it wasn’t you.

Jeremy’s eyes narrowed. “Are you laughing at me?” he asked lowly. 

Sans eyed Jeremy. “no sense of humor, huh bud?” 

You slapped Jeremy on the back. “Oh man, that was hysterical!” you giggled. Jeremy glanced at you and softened. 

“Yeah. Heh heh. It was pretty funny,” he gave a weak chuckle but you didn’t notice. Jeremy and you sat back down at the booth. Sans slid in after you and propped his elbows on the table. “Uh, are you...Papyrus? I thought you would be...er taller?”

Sans just grinned. You spoke up. “Oh, this is Sans. This is Papyrus’ older brother actually.” 

“sup. you’re jer?”

“Jeremy, actually. You’re the older one? You look like a pile of baby bones,” Jeremy observed.

The jab didn’t appear to faze Sans in the slightest. “huh. that was infantile don’t you think?” Jeremy’s face contorted into a grimace and you smashed a hand into your forehead. 

“Jeremy, don’t give him anything to work with or he won’t stop.” Jeremy kept his mouth shut and nodded. 

Sans poked your burger with disinterest. “come on kids, eat up so we can go to grillby’s.” 

“Oh shit. I forgot to tell you!” You remembered, grabbing your date’s arm. “Jeremy, remember how you were asking about monster alcohol? Sans knows a place that serves it. And he offered to take us there after dinner.” 

Jeremy’s face lit up instantly. “Wait really?” He looked over at Sans with renewed excitement. “You’re awesome!” 

“nope, just sans.” The skeleton shrugged.

“What did I just say about giving him material?” 

You both quickly finished your meals, paid and followed Sans out the door. “So how far is this place?” Jeremy asked. 

“not far.” 

“No shortcut?” you asked. Sans shot you a wink. 

“nah. can’t do it with more than one person.” Ah ha! So you were right. It wasn’t just you being unobservant! There was magic involved! You grinned to yourself proudly. You felt Jeremy slip an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close. You could feel warmth resonating off Jeremy’s bulky form, even underneath his sweater. His cologne smelled wonderfully. Yet, the night air still felt chilly to you. 

Thankfully, Sans was telling the truth and you soon found yourself in front of a bar/restaurant with the name Grillby’s blazoned on the top. From the outside, it reminded you of an old Westernized saloon. It almost seemed out of place with the rest of downtown, yet there here it stood. And surprisingly untagged by graffiti like many other businesses...especially monster businesses. 

“Man, I’m so stoked to be here,” Jeremy eagerly spoke. 

Sans winked at him. “buddy, you have no idea how accurate that is.” He pulled open the heavy wooden door and let you guys in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, Jeremy kinda had a weird moment there huh. Anyone know a guy like that in your life?
> 
> Either way, we made it to Grillby's with our date...uh, that's good, right?


	13. How many drinks have you had?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another super long chapter. I just couldn't find a good place to break the chapter so you get an extra long one!  
> Hope you enjoy. I had way too much fun writing this one!

The first thing you noticed was fire. A lot of it. You fought down your initial impulse to panic and adjusted your eyes to allow for the lighting in here. Inside Grillby’s was all wood. Wooden, chairs, tables, floorboards. There was something kinda rustic about the place. You noticed there were a few velvety booths to the side. The walls were adorned with candle holders which lacked candles, yet carried a flame. Your eyes trailed to the back of the establishment to see a wooden bar table and behind that, various bottles whose names you did not recognize. 

You felt Jeremy grip your wrist and lean close to your ear. “Look at the bartender,” he urgently whispered. You looked and your eyes widened in surprise.

Tending the bar was a monster wearing a long sleeved white suit shirt with a black vest and a snappy bow tie. They were cleaning a glass with a white cloth. And they were entirely made up of fire. You were looking at a fire elemental wearing nice clothing, tending a bar serving monster alcohol. This was not how you expected your evening to go, but hell you weren’t complaining. 

Sans motioned you to follow him and you dragged an awestruck Jeremy along with you. You looked to the sides as you walked and caught the eyes of a few curious monsters. You smiled back and they nodded.

“Hey Sans!” 

“Sup Sans!” 

“Sansy, did you bring guests this time?” Various monsters shouted. You glanced at Sans who smiled and waved back. He took a seat at the bar and motioned for you both to sit down which you eagerly did. The fire elemental walked over to you and nodded at Sans. 

“hey grillby. long time no see,” somehow you doubted that by the look Grillby gave him, “this is lori and jer. they wanted to try monster alcohol.” Grillby crossed his arms over his chest. Sans chuckled and held out his hands reassuringly. “don’t worry. i’ll be watching them. just bring something to start them off.” Grillby nodded and turned his attention to you and Jeremy.

Jeremy’s phone went off and he cursed quietly. “Shit, Lori, I’ll be back. It’s work,” he muttered, checking his phone and stepping out of the bar. You felt warmer and realized Grillby was now entirely focused on you alone. He held out his hand and you hesitated. 

“Uh…”

“He wants your driver’s license,” some red bird monster hiccuped next to you. 

You flashed an appreciative smile. “I’m pretty flattered. I haven’t been carded in a while.”

“yeah, it also helps us figure out where we need to bring your body in case you pass out.” 

“Oh.” You seemed less than sure about this adventure now, yet you fished out your wallet and handed your license to Grillby who began to read it. “This might be a weird question, but do you take Visa? I don’t have a lot of cash on me.” 

Grillby nodded silently and pulled out a black ipad with a credit card slider. Actually, upon further inspection, it used to be a white ipad but it had been singed and burnt from frequent use by the fire elemental. Sans tried to wave a hand, “hey, don’t let her pay. just put it on my tab.”

You ignored him and handed your credit card to Grillby who slid it through the machine before handing it back. You felt a bit giddy about this. You hadn’t been out to a bar in a while. And a monster bar? You smiled broadly once more. “Alright, first drink, let’s go...er, whenever you’re able to, please,” you added politely, trying not to appear too excited. Grillby pushed his glasses up on his face and turned towards the beverages. You looked back over the bar and noticed a large, untouched table. 

Sans followed your eyes and saw the table. “huh. training must have gone on a bit longer today. normally that table is full by the time i get here.” He flipped out his own phone and scrolled through it as Jeremy walked back into the bar. 

He looked apologetic, “Listen, I got called into work. Someone’s called in sick and I owe the boss a favor.” You made a face. 

“Bleh, alright, don’t worry about it. Maybe another time,” you offered. 

Jeremy nodded. “Definitely. Maybe next date,” he suggested, laughing. You averted your eyes and didn’t comment. Jeremy didn’t notice your lack of response. He ducked in for a quick hug, waved good bye to Sans and walked out. You sighed. 

“huh. jer seems alright.” Sans observed, leaning against the bar table and closing his eyes. You sat back down next to him and swung your feet awkwardly. 

“Yeah, he is a pretty good guy…” your voice trailed off. What else could you say? He was a nice guy with a job and he was really interested in you. But even with his fantastic body, you were feeling lukewarm about the prospect of seeing him again romantically. Sans opened his eyes lazily and looked you up and down as you mulled over these thoughts privately. 

“so where you guys going to go for a third date?” Sans asked. You pretended not to hear him as Grillby approached with a pint of some root colored liquor. 

“Oh! Thank you!” you thanked eagerly. Grillby placed your drink and handed Sans a ketchup bottle. You blinked. Yeah that was ketchup. Sans nodded back to the bartender and lifted the bottle up. 

“cheers,” Sans toasted holding the bottle toward you. You took your own drink and clinked it against his bottle uncertainly. You both took a swig. The flavor was difficult to describe, but you tried to commit it to memory. You could almost say it was honey flavored but the aftertaste was bitter...but not quite bitter enough to make you want to stop. You took another gulp and watched Sans down about half of the bottle. 

You opted not to question it. Again. You drank a bit more. It was going down smoother. You almost finished your cup. Amongst all the laughing and talking in the bar, you could hear a faint commotion from outside. It was starting to come closer and you tilted your head to see if you could pick up the source. You heard Sans chuckle. “here they come.”

“Here does who come?” you asked. 

The door slammed open and the sound of raucous laughter and shouting poured in like a floodgate breaking. You recognized the group immediately and smiled broadly. The members of the royal guard had arrived, pushing and hugging each other. They were muddy but happy and quickly swarmed the large table and a smaller table facing the wall. Out of the corner of your eye, you could already see Grillby making up a round of drinks. The canines were breaking out two decks of cards, one of which Lesser Dog eagerly grabbed and darted to the small table. Greater Dog was about to start dealing out cards when he spotted you at the bar and barked happily. 

The next moment, you had an enthusiastic guard slobbering on your face. You jumped back in surprise, laughing at the happy pup. Whatever was left of your drink had been knocked off the counter in the friendly frenzy. Sans managed to avoid even getting a speck of slobber on him despite his close proximity to you. 

“Greater Dog! Heel boy! Come back!” Dogamy called. He spotted you. “Oh! It’s the human nurse! Tell her to come over here and join us!” You looked at Sans but he waved you off so you allowed Greater Dog to grab your sleeve in his mouth and gently drag you to the table. You noticed Lesser Dog was by himself, having set up a one sided poker game against the wall. 

“Is he going to join us?” you asked. 

“Nah, he’s honing his poker skills,” Dogaressa explained. You nodded. The monster drink was making it much easier for you to accept things. She noticed your spilled drink that had already been cleaned up. “Oh no! We spilled your drink! Grillby can you get her another one?”

“What? No, wait, don’t worry about it-”

“We insist!” Dogamy prompted, “What were you having?” 

“Uh, I don’t know? This was my first time. Hey Sans what was I drinking?” When there was no response, you looked over to see the short skeleton was gone. “Uh...Sans?”

The red bird at the counter shouted something that Dogamy picked up. He scrunched up his face. “That’s a baby drink.”

“Get her something harder!” Dogaressa agreed. You hesitated but everyone was smiling at you. 

“Give into peer pressure!” A plant monster yelled from his booth. 

You grinned. “Fuck it. Yeah! Let’s do it!” The round of drinks were placed on the table and you all grabbed a glass. 

“Here’s to not being neutered!” Doggo frantically yelled, holding up a glass. Your face paled as everyone enthusiastically cheered. Did Papyrus fucking tell everyone?! You forced a smile, cheered and drank deeply from the new beverage. There was no bitter taste to this one. It was thick and sloshy. Kinda vanilly. Was that a word? It was now. 

You asked to watch the game instead of playing. You sucked at poker. You couldn’t bluff worth a damn and how could you read a tell on a dog? You settled for alternating between petting heads and scratching behind ears of the various players. The winner of a round would get extra petting. Except for Doggo. Any attempt to approach Doggo was rebuffed and you were totally fine with that. 

You looked for Sans again as some time passed. The skeleton was still gone. You finished the rest of your drink and visited Lesser Dog. “Hey buddy, are you winning?” you asked. Lesser Dog whined. “Aw. Sorry to hear that.” You gave him a friendly pat but nothing too crazy. You were afraid more petting might lead to a dog shaped hole in the ceiling. He perked up and renewed his efforts to beat himself. 

You took your empty glass to Grillby who took it from you. He handed you another drink. “Oh, I didn’t order anything,” you began. 

“No but I did. ;)” You looked over at the voice to see a merman...er merhorse perhaps, looking at you up and down. He was flexing and winking at you. “The name’s Aaron. ;)” he introduced, extending one hand while simultaneously flexing with the other. 

“I’m Lori,” you greeted, taking his hand. To your not surprise, his other hand flexed as well when you took it, “Thanks for the drink. This is my first time trying monster alcohol.” You paused. Why did you just admit that to a monster you didn’t know? You wouldn’t have told a random human that you were drinking alcohol for the first time. The lack of censorship disturbed you but not enough to stop you from continuing your conversation. 

Aaron winked at you again. “Very nice. Like my pecs? What do you do for a living? ;)”

You laughed. “They certainly are impressive. I’m a vet nurse. What about you?” You winked back at him, taking a swig of your beverage. 

“Nice. Maybe you can feel my heart later...along with the rest of me? ;)” he suggested. You looked him up and down. You weren’t sure how to fuck a merman er merhorse. Maybe he laid eggs or something. You continued to flirt. 

“Heh. Good one. What do you do?” 

“I’m actually a paranormal investigator. ;)” 

“Seriously?” You asked, “How’d you get into that career?” 

Aaron stopped flexing as you finished your drink and he leaned in closely. “Well when I was in the Underground, Woshua and I met the human. We were about to fight him when all of a sudden this creepy music started playing out of nowhere. The human just stood there like not saying anything and the music wouldn’t stop even though I winked so many times at it. We had to run away but when we got to the surface, I learned that humans sometimes come back as ghosts and make spooky sounds happen. So I figured based on my experience, I was already qualified to become a paranormal investigator. So I set up shop. ;)” 

“Huh,” you took another swig of your next drink, “How’s it working out for you?”

“I have a reality TV show starting next week. ;)” 

“Nice!! What time and channel does it come on?”

“...dude, I don’t remember actually. Let me go call my agent. ;)” Aaron took out a cell phone from between his biceps and slithered away to make the phone call. 

Having a moment to yourself, you thought about your earlier transgression. You’re not sure why you volunteered that info to Aaron who thankfully turned out to just be a muscle headed dude. You didn’t normally make mistakes after just one drink.

Had it been only one drink? Your mind was fuzzy on that. You looked at your fingers. Dogamy and Dogaressa had bought you a replacement one. So that was two. Did you have the same one while talking to Aaron? You must have. You certainly didn’t feel inebriated. The world was not spinning. Everything just kinda seemed more fun. Well this would be your last one until Sans returned. 

“Hey! Someone help me move the Jukebox!” A leathered jacket wearing donkey monster yelled. When nobody immediately responded, you found yourself finishing your drink and already walking over there.

“Hey dude, you need to move the jukebox?” you asked as you got closer. The monster appraised you and nodded. 

“Yeah, we gotta shake this sucker really hard to get it to work,” he instructed, “It got a bit damaged when we carried it to the surface. I mean it didn’t work in the first place in the Underground, but now if we shake the beejuzus out of it, it will actually turn on...eh, you’re on the small side. You sure you’re up to the challenge?” 

You scoffed. “What? Yeah dude. I’m fucking determined as shit!” You got on one side and the horse man got to the other side. You began to pull as the monster pushed. The machine was heavier than you thought. Trying to imagine someone carrying this thing from inside a mountain to here sounded insane. “AGGHHH!” you pulled with all your might.

You could hear the creak of the wood floor as the machine began to move. You were pulling so much, you could feel your muscles burning. “Push! Push!” The other monster ordered and you threw your entire weight back into the jukebox. Pull and push! You slammed your shoulder into it one more time, causing a flash of pain to shoot up your arm. You would feel that in the morning but it was worth it as the machine whirred to life. 

“Awesome, thanks man!” 

“No sweat. Man my shoulder hurts,” you winced, rubbing the spot. 

“Hang on, I’ll get you something for that!” 

You’re not sure how, but you had another drink in your hand that was quite pleasantly numbing the pain. You returned to the poker game to see that several rounds of drinks had already made their way through the group. “Who’s winning?” you asked. 

“I am!” Doggo announced triumphantly, “I would like a pet!” 

You smiled happily and reached over gently. You patted Doggo for 5 seconds. His tongue lolled out happily for a moment. “There, that wasn’t so bad-”

“SOMETHING PET ME!” Doggo suddenly shouted, standing up quickly. You froze. 

“Uh oh.” 

“PET PET PAT PET POT PET PAT!” Doggo panted, looking frantically to each side before finally bolting out the door. None of the other dogs moved. 

You sweated uncomfortably. “Dudes, I am so so sorry.” 

Dogamy sighed. “No, don’t worry about it. It’s fine. He actually admits he wants petting when he’s had enough to drink and then he goes and does this.” Dogaressa shot Dogamy a look. “I’m texting him, honey” he said, pulling out his phone.

“Who’s he texting?” you asked. 

“pap.” 

You turned around to see Sans behind you. He looked exhausted. “Dude,” you laughed, “Where the fuck have you been? I thought you were going to watch me!” 

“heh. sorry bud. i had to call a good friend of mine, make sure she’s okay. you having fun?” he asked.

“Yeah, a lot. Hey, why are they texting Papyrus?” You asked, gesturing to the dog monsters.

“so that he’ll text undyne and see if she needs to go get him.”

“But why not text Undyne directly?”

Sans smiled warmly. “undyne doesn’t like to be bothered this late at night by her guards acting up. but she’s got a soft spot for pap so she doesn’t mind it if he texts her.” 

“But he’s not even here,” you argued. 

“she knows. just-” Sans voice caught in his throat as he looked at your drink. 

“What?” You asked, trying to figure out his expression.

“buddy, that’s not the drink you had when i left,” Sans observed cooly. 

“Oh. Yeah. The guards bought me a new one after my first one spilled.” Sans looked you oddly but did not press further. He motioned for you to follow him back to the barstools and you did so. “I didn’t mean to freak Doggo out,” you admitted. 

“eh. happens a lot actually.” 

“Really?” Sans nodded. He took another sip of the ketchup bottle and glanced at you as more thoughts poured unrestrained into your head.

“you look like you got something to say?” Sans mumbled, resting his eyes. 

“Is petting for them like foreplay or something?” you asked, slightly louder than you intended. Sans sockets widened and he choked on his ketchup. You ignored him as he coughed. “I mean, have I been accidentally sexually assaulting monsters by accident for the last two days?” 

“what?” Sans’ sockets were open now and staring at you in disbelief. 

“I’ve been petting dog monsters and they got really happy. I tried to get a heartbeat on Papyrus and he kinda freaked out.”

Sans grabbed your arm as you went to take another sip. “how many have you had?

“What?” 

“how many drinks have you gotten?” You honestly didn’t know. Sans turned to Grillby who had been standing by you the entire time. “how many drinks has she had?”

Grillby held up five flaming fingers. “Pshaw, no way,” you laughed, “I only had er...Aaron got me two...Fonz dude got me one.” Hmm. That was a bit more than you thought as you took another gulp of the drink in your hand. 

“you should stop drinking,” Sans warned. 

“Dude, I’m fine. I feel great,” you argued. You noticed his ketchup bottle looked different. “You’re a fine one to talk! You’re drinking multiple bottles of condiments?”

“you find yourself saying anything you wouldn’t normally say outloud?”

“Don’t change the subject,” you chuckled. “You ever think it’s funny that condiments and condoms sound so alike yet they mean absolutely the exact opposite?” Sans stared at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read. “Goddamn dude, why you staring at me like that? I’ve got too much shit in my life to have people look at me like that.” Wow, you were getting ballsy weren’t you? 

“Hey Sans!” Dogamy hollered, “Papyrus is on his way. Undyne told him to go get Doggo.” 

Sans nodded and looked to Grillby. “hey grillz, can we go into the back room?” he asked. The fire elemental gave him a hard look. “i need to ask the humans some questions. don’t worry, everything is going to be fine.” He turned to you. “come on kid.”

You shook your head. “What? No. I like Papyrus. I want to see him.” 

“you’ve been drinking too much, friend. trust me you don’t.”

“Five drinks isn’t too bad.”

“how do you really feel about jeremy?”

“I think he’s incredibly hot and kind but I get a weird friend/brother feeling with him and find myself not really sexually attracted to him.” You slammed your hands over your mouth but the words had already shot out. 

Sans leaned in dangerously close. “would you fuck me?”

You tried to smother a “yes” from underneath your hands but the damage was done. Sans smugly grabbed your hand and dragged you to the back. You soon found yourself in an even dimmer room with a few boxes strewn about. A dolly and some rope were in one corner. The other side had the entrance to a walk in freezer. It must have been a storage room. “Grillby’s is a lot bigger than I thought,” you admitted. “And a lot warmer,” you noticed. You removed your jacket and placed it on the box nearest to you.

Sans nodded. “so, we have some time. what was that question you asked me?” he tapped his chin thoughtfully as you paled. “oh yeah. is petting foreplay?” 

“Uhhh. Yeah I guess I did ask that,” you mumbled, feeling yourself blush. 

Sans smirked. “the petting you’re giving the guards, eh, not so much. but if i were to touch you like this,” You felt his skeletal hand alight on your chin before stroking your neck downwards toward your clavicle. You shuddered. “heh, you like that? humans’ bodies are so soft,” he murmured, bringing his hands back up to your neck and applying pressure. 

“I don’t. Please don’t choke me,” you gasped and the light pressure he was applying immediately vanished. 

“i wasn’t planning on it,” Sans admitted, “sorry about that.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love to be grabbed and tied up and fucked silly, but I don’t like getting choked. Loss of oxygen is pretty scary! And biting!” you continued, “I get bit by animals at work all the time, I don’t want to be bit during sex!” Your eyes widened. “Oh my God!” You immediately sat on one of the boxes and buried your head into your hands. What the fuck did you just say?!

You just knew that Sans was probably backing away slowly. If he didn’t know you were weird before, he certainly did now. And you think he’d let you anywhere near that cinnabunny of a brother of his? Hell no. What if he started telling other people? You would be mortified. 

“you...like getting tied up?” Sans voice sounded far away. 

You didn’t even look at him, just bowed your head in shame. “Yeah,” you admitted. “It’s kind of a kink of mine. To get tied up and let someone else do whatever they want to you. Heck, I’ll get aroused seeing an officer pull out a pair of handcuffs.” You’ve already dug your hole, might as well bury yourself in it. 

Sans was silent. You could hear a commotion from the front of the restaurant. Well a louder commotion than what was before. Papyrus must have shown up with Doggo. “You don’t have to judge me in silence you know,” you irritably commented. 

“oh, i’m not judging, sweetheart. i already knew you were kind of a freak. i just wanted confirmation first before things continued.” 

Your brow knit in confusion. “Before what continues?” you asked.

Whatever illumination the room had was snuffed out. Sans was in front of you in a flash, a blue pupil pulsing dangerously. You couldn’t stand up fast enough. In one fluid motion, Sans had grabbed both of your wrists and slipped them into a pair of rope handcuffs. You stood up unsteadily only to have Sans seize you by the rope and push you to the wall. You landed with a hard thud, knocking the breath out of you. 

Before you could recover, you felt your arms rise by some unseen force until the knot was pushed over the hook. Your toes could still thankfully touch the ground so you were not entirely suspended from the hook. But you were vulnerable. You struggled against the binds unsuccessfully. Sans stepped back to admire his handiwork and watched as you blushed violently. “Sans,” you gasped, “What are you doing?”

“making you comfortable,” he purred, running a hand down the side of your waist. 

“Is this some type of joke?” you panted, trying to swing your hands off the hook. “You getting your kicks making fun of the freaky human?”

“no,” Sans mumbled, bringing another hand alongside your other side. 

“Then why the fuck are you doing this?” you growled, trying to hide the arousal in your voice. 

“because i want your attention and i know you like this.” You stared at him dumbly. He sighed and removed his hands. “listen bud. i’m pretty sure you’ve noticed, but you and I kinda have some mutual physical attraction going on here. am I wrong?” You bit your lip and did not make eye contact. Sans smirked. “i see that we agree. you and i both seem to be under stress for various reasons and could use a way to release some of that pent up stress. i was thinking-”

“You want to be friends with benefits,” you stated. 

Sans shrugged. “i guess so. i’m not really sure what i want to be to ya to be honest,” he admitted. “but if pap doesn’t find you as interesting as i do, well” he placed a hand under your chin and you looked directly into his blue eye, “i’m available.”

“Oh,” you managed. You thought about it. You did find him attractive, in some odd way. And you had been tense, especially working full time. And as you admitted earlier, you realized you didn’t feel as strongly about Jeremy as you thought you did. The idea of physical intimacy with Jeremy made you cringe. He felt like a brother to you and the thought of even kissing him on the lips sounded wrong. You hadn’t agreed to exclusivity anyways. You cleared your throat. “Well...as long as you’re not pranking and you don’t ask for photos or nothing, I think I would be interested.”

In the darkness, you swear you could catch Sans grinning. Skeletal fingers began to finger the collar of your scoop neck underneath and began to pull it down. “Hey wait wait!” you whined, “Are you seriously going to do this here?”

Sans played with your collar some more. “hmm, not sure. you wanna wait?”

“Might be a good idea,” you admitted, “we’re technically in a public place even though it’s dark. Can you turn the lights back on?”

“can’t. the lights are magic.”

“But you can do magic.”

“no this magic. this magic is connected to grillby,” he chuckled.

“When you say connected, what do you mean?”

Sans kept playing with your shirt. If the lights were on, he most definitely would be close to flashing your chest. “yeah. grillby’s magic controls the lights. he constantly maintains them. the only time these go out when he’s either closing or he’s distracted by something.” Sans paused. “he’s not closing anytime soon and the guy’s not distracted easily. so something might be wrong.”

“We should go check,” you suggested, “I mean I don’t know the dude very well but he seemed like a nice enough guy. I would not want anything bad to happen to him.”

Sans nodded understandingly and released your clothing. “alright. i’ll go check it out.” he began to walk towards the entrance of the room. 

“Wait wait! Sans! You’re forgetting me!” you called after him. 

Sans winked at you mischievously. “oh yeah. well just hang around. i’ll be back soon.”

Before you could protest further, he exited the room, leaving you behind. “Men,” you muttered to yourself, “always leave a girl hanging.” 

As your stimulation abated, you felt your body shudder in exhaustion. Magic truth drinks and teased arousal definitely put your body through the hoops. Left in the darkness, you shifted to a slightly more comfortable and allowed your eyes to droop close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans made his intentions somewhat clearer and leaves you in a rather compromising position. Hopefully no one else finds you first.. :3
> 
> I hope you guys loved this chapter as much I loved writing it! Let me know what you think!


	14. To Catch A Ghost (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! The next chapter! I had so much excitement writing this one!! :D
> 
> And this one also has some NSFW content. Look for the "***" but don't act like you don't want to read it.

The moment he left the room, Sans wiped the sweat off his brow. He was so used to playing it cool but at the moment, he was absolutely exhausted. It was so tempting to have proceeded with you further, especially in that position. He had been glad for the darkness although he was not responsible for it. He sauntered back towards the front and noticed that the lights here were still on. “hmm, whatever’s going on, grillby must still have most of the lights going, but he probably forgot about us.” Customers didn’t generally go to the back so it made sense that Grillby wouldn’t normally flow magic to that room unless he was asked to. 

Getting closer, he could distinguish the voices shouting a bit more. One was definitely Papyrus. Doggo was whimpering and screeching about something. He quickened his pace. Doggo could be odd after a few drinks and he didn’t want the guard to do something reckless and injure Papyrus. Otherwise, Doggo was going to have a bad time. 

Sans stepped out into the bar and his eyes adjusted to the light. Most of the patrons were still in their seats but they were glancing over at the commotion at the dog table. That was a good sign that the excitement wasn’t too great to warrant standing and screaming. Yet. Doggo was standing however, looking frantically around. Papyrus had one hand on his hip and the other hand on his forehead. “Doggo, you’re not making much-Sans!” Papyrus called, spotting Sans, “I’m both glad and disappointed to see you here right now.” 

“aw gee pap. thanks and sorry.” Sans smiled and shrugged, “what’s going on?”

Papyrus sighed. “Undyne asked me to bring Doggo back to the group. She was unable to come due to a movie night with Alphys so she entrusted his care to me.”

Sans patted him on the back. “well looks like you got him back.”

“Yeahh. But he keeps running for the door. The only reason he’s not running is that Greater Dog attached a leash to his collar.” Sans looked and sure enough, Greater Dog was holding a leather leash in one hand and cards in the other. The sentries had not allowed Doggo’s mental breakdown spoil their game. Lesser Dog appeared to have stepped in for his canine companion. 

“hmm. is he saying anything?”

“Only one thing.”

“A ghost pet me!” 

“That. He’s saying that.” Papyrus scratched his head. “The only ghost I know is um, Spooky Bloo Bloo?” 

“who?”

“Napper Hog?”

“you mean napstablook?”

“Yes. Him. And he doesn’t come here. And I don’t think he pets dogs. Just snails.” 

Aaron entered the bar with a huge smile. “Alrighty dudes, I know when my show starts! ;)” He looked around. “Huh? Where’d she go ;)?” 

Papyrus observed him. “Where did who go?”

Aaron flexed in confusion. “There was this girl here who I was totally scoring with with my awesome biceps and we were talking about ghosts and I had to make a call and now she’s gone! ;)”

“A ghost pet me!” Doggo whimpered, starting to settle down. 

Aaron’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Did that monster just say a ghost pet him? ;)” Papyrus nodded while Sans did his best not to start laughing. Aaron grabbed a hold of Doggo who began to flail again. “Calm yourself dude! We gotta be totally serious here! What did it look like? ;)”

Dogamy rolled his eyes. “It was the girl who pet him.” 

“Are you saying that it was a female ghost that pet him? ;)”

Dogaressa smacked her head, “No, he’s saying-!” 

Aaron struck a pose that maximized the veins in his arms and dropped Doggo. “Of course! It all makes sense now. ;)”

Papyrus looked at him in confusion. “Eh, it does?” 

“The girl who talked to me is actually the girl ghost who petted Doggo! ;)” Aaron declared triumphantly. 

Sans chuckled. “how did you figure that out?”

Aaron suplexed. “Because I am a Paranormal Investigator and a reality TV star ;)!” this declaration elicited a bunch of oohs and ahs from the patrons. Papyrus looked ecstatic. 

“Really?! Oh my god! That’s amazing. This is good luck, Sans!” 

“sure is bro.”

“Can we watch you catch the ghost?” 

“Absolutely! Everyone, start looking under your chairs and tables. ;)” The bar was filled with a flurry of motion as monsters began to search under the chairs, tables and even their glasses to see if they could find the mysterious ghost. 

Sans felt someone tap him and he turned to see Grillby looking at him expectantly. “oh hey grillby.” Grillby crossed his arms irritably. Sans hesitated. “yeah, no, she’s still back there. she’s a bit tied up.” Grillby glared at him. “no, of course i’m not going to leave her. i’ve got a plan. do you have a back way that she could get out? i don’t want mr. paranoid paranormal here accidentally starting a fear frenzy.” Grillby nodded. “cool, thanks. um, anything that happens after this, go ahead and put it on my tab.” The fire elemental groaned and walked back behind the counter. Sans turned to start walking toward the back when he spotted Papyrus lifting up the jukebox. 

A mischievous smile lit up his face. Despite what you had insisted, he was pretty sure Papyrus did have some feelings for you, even if he didn’t admit it. Not that it was going to stop Sans from having fun with you. Until Papyrus actually made you into a girlfriend, you were fair game. Still, he felt he should give Papyrus a shot. Seeing his brother happy even if it meant possibly losing access to certain pleasurable experiences was well worth it. 

He strolled over to Papyrus. “hey bro.”

“Hello Sans! Do you see anything any ghosts under the jukebox?” Papyrus asked as he easily suspended the jukebox in the air. 

Sans kneeled down to check underneath. “nah, sorry bro.” 

“Rats,” Papyrus said, placed the jukebox back down, “this ghost is very clever. I wonder if in her past life, she was a master of hide and seek.” 

“oh actually, i wanted to let you know that i trapped the ghost,” Sans grinned. 

“YOU FOUND THE-!” 

Sans held a finger to his grin. “shh! we don’t want to tell anyone else. the other monsters might panic and we don’t want that, right?” 

Papyrus nodded hurriedly and spoke quietly. “Yes, of course not. That was foolish of me. It is my duty to maintain peace and order...or it will be when I am a Royal Guard.” 

“right. come, follow me and i’ll take you to where i got her last. but you have to be really quiet.” 

“Of course! I am the Great Papyrus, master of stealth and sneakiness!” Papyrus thumped his chest quietly and Sans smiled.

Sans led him to the door leading into the back. Sans glanced at the cracks and saw Grillby had not returned light yet to the back room. Which actually worked out for his plan. “listen pap, i’m going to go back and make sure no one follows you. there’s a chance that the ghost escaped my trap” he warned. 

Papyrus nodded understandingly. “Of course, if the ghost is dangerous, I wouldn’t want to put anyone else at risk.”

“pap, you’re so cool,” Sans smiled, and he meant it. “you’re going to have to be really quiet when you enter the room. i was able to sneak up on it by not making a sound. when you catch the ghost, go out the backdoor with her and i’ll meet you back home.”

“Good plan. That way Aaron can just come to our house and Grillby’s bar will be safe, even if their food is disgusting.” Papyrus put a hand on Sans’ shoulder. “Stay strong, brother. I will return.” Papyrus took a deep breath and quickly darted into the room. 

Sans listened at the door for a moment but heard nothing. Smiling even wider, he walked back to the front to see everyone still looking. Doggo had collapsed to the ground a nervous wreck and remained mostly ignored. “Maybe we should try to see if there’s anything in the back rooms,” Sans overheard a monster say. 

He spotted an empty bar stool and his eyes flickered blue. The stool shakily levitated from its spot near the bar and began to slowly float toward the front door. Aaron noticed it immediately. “Dude! Look! ;)” The bar became deathly silent as all eyes were focused on the stool as it gently floated to the door before it pushed it open. It only floated a few more feet before collapsing to the sidewalk outside. 

Aaron dashed outside and suplexed the stool in his beefy hands. “I like caught the ghost ;)!” he announced proudly. The bar erupted into vigorous applause and cheering. Aaron, bowed, put on a fedora and sunglasses and walked boldly into the night, carrying the stool with him past confused humans. 

Sans leaned against the bar as Grillby groaned. “put it on my tab. oh i need to get the human’s driver’s license back.” Grillby shot him a suspicious look. “oh did you want to keep it? i’m sure you could show her a hot time. or do you think she would be steamed?” Grillby made a face and fetched your license out and handed it over to Sans. He read the address and grinned. “thanks bud. can i get another bottle of ketchup? and let’s turn that music up already.” 

~~~~~

Papyrus’ heart pounded in his chest as he entered into pitch blackness. He strained his sockets to see but it was hard to distinguish any features of the room. He thought about using magic to help light up the room but decided against it. Sans said he had to be sneaky. Magic might alert the enemy to his position. 

He stopped moving and listened. He could hear something. A low growl perhaps? A low growl that was separated by pauses. It almost sound like “zzz zzz zzz”. He tried to pinpoint the sound and slowly walked toward it. His foot came into contact with some type of box and he fell forward to the ground with a heavy thud. 

~~~~~

Your eyes shot open at the sound of a loud bang. Pitch black greeted your eyes and for a moment you weren’t sure if you had actually opened your eyes or not. You tried to touch your face but your arms felt frozen. You struggled, kicking at the air and the wall behind you until you remembered where you were and why you were here. “Sans?” you whispered quietly, “is that you?” There was no response. If you hadn’t felt vulnerable before, you did now. You proceeded to panic. 

~~~~~

The growling stopped. Papyrus was still lying on the ground, trying not to let out a groan of pain. His foot throbbed slightly. He heard a tapping noise from in front of him and was able to pinpoint the source of the noise again. He began to rise to his feet when he heard a breathy voice call out.

“Sans, is that you?” the voice quietly called out. Papyrus froze. The ghost knew his brother’s name. Which wasn’t too odd if Sans had indeed trapped it. All of Papyrus’ traps had his signature on them so why wouldn’t Sans’? Unless Sans had been too lazy to actually sign it and just told the ghost his name. Which wouldn’t have surprised Papyrus either since his brother was notoriously lazy. Papyrus growled in annoyance before realizing his mistake. He slammed his hand to his face to stop the noise, eliciting a clank noise as his wrist collided with his teeth. 

~~~~~

You strained to hear anything, anything at all. You were hoping it was Sans and this was a joke he was pulling. It was just a prank, you were telling yourself. He would light up the room and laugh and you would laugh too and everything would be fine. 

It growled. Your blood ran cold. It fucking growled. You bit your lip to keep from letting out a startled yelp. A loud snap followed the growl. Your imagination took that noise and ran like the wind as you struggled against your bindings. You imagined a monster with fangs and a steel trapped jaw. And it would bite your exposed torso and tear you in half and eat you and you were never hear from your family again. And your coworkers might actually miss you and maybe they would have a sympathy cake at your funeral if they found enough pieces of you to have a funeral. And you hoped that cake would be chocolate because you fucking loved chocolate. Just like you fucking loved being alive. 

~~~~~

Papyrus could hear noises and breathing from the spot as he neared. His eyes were picking up movement and his heart sped up. The ghost was writhing and squirming in the darkness, like a snake. He could see it’s outline thrash ferociously. Sans’ trap must have held up. But Papyrus wasn’t sure how much longer the trap would last. 

The ghost must have seen him because it suddenly became very still. No more trashing. It trembled. Perhaps it was preparing an attack? Or maybe it was afraid. Papyrus resolved to press onward. He was very close. He could almost reach out and grab it. Although even if he did grab it, he wouldn’t know if he could actually hold on to it. It was a ghost afterall. 

Attack or approach? Papyrus hesitated. 

~~~~~

You could see an outline in the darkness and you froze. It was definitely not Sans. You fought the urge to pass out from fear. If you were going to die, you were going to die awake and facing death head on, dammit. Because fucking Sans ditched you to go talk to Papyrus.

Papyrus! A flicker of hope burnt in your chest. He was here in this building right now. How could you forget? Maybe he could save you. Or at least bear witness to your demise and be able to inform your loved ones. You opened your mouth to yell but stopped.

Would he even hear you? The music from upfront seemed louder than when you came back. And even if you yelled loud enough that he could hear you, the creature in the room would know exactly where you were the second you spoke the first word. 

It was getting closer now. You were running out of time. You weighed your options. Scream now and speed up imminent death or remain silent and prolong the inevitable. Fuck it. You shut your eyes, opened your mouth and screamed, “PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!” 

~~~~~

The ghost screamed. She had been charging an attack! Startled, Papyrus took a step back quickly and held his arms defensively over his body. His magic flared to life and he could feel it coursing through his skull as the ghost continued its auditory assault. If he had ears, his eardrums would have surely burst by this point. A bone started to materialize in his hands. What was it even saying?

“PAPYRUS! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!” Papyrus’ sockets widened and the bone disintegrated in his hands. That voice. He knew that voice. It was your voice! His eye flashed a bright orange and illuminated the dark path to the “ghost”. His heartbeat pounded. That wasn’t the ghost. That was you. You were in trouble. You needed him. 

He panicked. How did you end up in Sans’ trap? The ghost must have tricked you into it. And in that case, was the ghost still here? Your screams brought his attention back to you as you struggled. Papyrus was determined. He had to risk the scary ghost. For you. 

He lunged forward and tried to seize you around the waist, trying to protect you if the ghost attacked. You responded by kicking him in the gut.

~~~~~

You felt what you could only imagine was the bottom half of a jaw latch around your back and try to pull you forward from the wall. You were not going to die without a fight. Your foot made contact with the creature and you kicked hard, knocking the jaws away from you. You kept screaming. “GET OFF ME!! PAPYRUS! HELP!!” 

~~~~~

“I’m trying to help!” Papyrus yelped back, but it was clear you couldn’t hear him over your panic. He had to get you to calm down. He charged again, getting an arm around your waist. Your foot swung out once more but this time he was ready and he deflected the blow. He smiled in victory until your other foot smashed into his side and he once again fell over. 

At this point he wasn’t sure who needed saving more: you or him. Papyrus climbed to his feet once more and charged for the last time. He deflected the first foot to the side and came closer. Your second foot shot out, but he leaned swiftly out of the way and caught it with one of his hands. His other hand snaked around your waist and pressed your body against his. He tried to pull you away the wall but could not. He quickly glanced up to see that your arms had been tied to a hook of some kind above you. 

Papyrus tried to think as you kept screaming. He could easily reach the hook and let you down but that required both of his hands and that would open him up to attack from both you and the ghost. Even if he shut out the screaming, Papyrus was having even more difficulty thinking as your body pressed and squirmed against him. He felt himself sweating which he wasn’t entirely sure was due to fighting off your defenses. He tried to call your name again but you seemed to shut out all other sensory information. You were truly in a blind panic. 

~~~~~***

You shrieked as your foot was deflected and you kicked out with your second, only to feel a rough tongue-your mind was really going now-wrap around your leg and crank it upwards like a picture of a can can dance in mid kick. You struggled to pull it back but you could not and it wriggled helplessly in the air. Your free foot could not gain enough momentum to actually kick your attacker effectively as your body was pressed against it. You almost thought you could hear someone shouting your name but you were distracted by the fact that you were being fucking attacked. 

You felt yourself slowly losing consciousness from lack of oxygen and you stopped screaming for a moment to take a deep breath. Before you could open your mouth to continue screaming, something roughly pressed against your lips. You stopped thrashing as little bolts of pleasure coursed shot into your lips. Realization dawned on you. Were you-were you being kissed? You felt your body lean into the creature and your trapped leg curl around its bindings. It was a rush. And then just like that the pressure began to leave your lips as quickly as it came, and with it the strange euphoria which you weren’t sure was entirely fear based. Your lips involuntarily parted and you let out a quiet needy moan before jutting your own head forward to reconnect the kiss. Because of course you fucking did. 

You felt the creature tremble as you kissed it back. Its grip on you tightened and pressed you against it. Fuck, you were getting aroused. You were moaning and whimpering in your kiss. You tried to tell yourself that this was a survival strategy, that if you made it let down its guard enough, you could kick it again and scream for help. Yet, you found your other leg wrapping around the creature and squeezing your pelvis against what you assumed might be the creature’s own pelvis. Either way, it felt good and you could feel it tremble in anticipation against you. 

~~~~~

Papyrus’ sockets were wide open as he pressed his teeth against your lips. This wasn’t the plan at all. When you stopped screaming for that one second, he was going to yell at you as loud as he possibly could. But when he saw your lips pursed together, he-he panicked. He had never kissed anyone like this before in his life. Well when Sans and he were little, they would kiss each other on the forehead. But on the lips-er teeth? Never. 

He had seen plenty of Mettaton movies where the robot both gave and received kisses. And there was a page in the dating manual explaining the concept. And that was his experience with kissing. He expected you to fight him even harder now. Maybe you would bite his face which admittedly would hurt you more than him but he still tensed up. But you didn’t attack. In fact, you stopped trying to kick him altogether. Warm relief flooded his body and he relaxed a bit. He found himself enjoying the softness of your lips and how your body was starting to press up against his own. Even your leg began to curl around his arm. He was starting to feel pretty good about himself. He could feel his soul smoldering in his chest. The Great Papyrus, defender of the innocent and amazing kisser.

Why was he kissing you again? Papyrus remembered and pulled away from your lips, feeling himself blush. He had allowed himself to be distracted from his mission. The orange glow illuminated your lips as he pulled away. You were smiling. He felt himself smiling back even if you couldn’t see him. He was about to speak when you opened your lips first and let out a strange noise. Papyrus felt himself freeze as the noise sent shivers down all his vertebrae. He hesitated too long and was caught off guard when you suddenly pushed your head forward and kissed him back. 

It felt like you were delivering electric shocks to his skull. Except these shocks didn’t hurt. They kept him energized. Papyrus didn’t understand why but he needed to get closer to you than he already was. He pressed into you even further, feeling his battle armor crash into your chest. You didn’t seem to mind. You kept making those noises that Papyrus found absolutely exhilarating and he tightened his hold on your leg. Your free leg curled around his waist. For some reason, the way your pelvis was moving against him made his legs feel like jelly. He shut his eyes, enjoying the strange but certainly not unwelcome sensations your body was giving him. 

Papyrus’ mind brought up the ghost again but he dismissed it. He didn’t care if the ghost came back. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you. The ghost would not touch you. Only he was allowed to touch you. These words made him feel he was on fire and by the way his orange magic was coursing all over his bones, he very well looked like he might be. One particular thrust of your pelvis sent a jolt back up his spine and he nyehed against your lips.

~~~~~

Your whole body fucking froze at the noise. That couldn’t have been, there’s no way. Your heartrate was going faster than a Japanese express train. It had to be someone playing a joke on you? But who else fucking says nyeh that you know. There was only one way to find out. You opened your eyes. Your were temporarily blinded by a bright haze of orange light before your eyes could focus.

Oh. 

My.

God.

The skeleton that you so recently thought of as a gentle cinnabunny had his teeth pressed against your lips with your legs wrapped around his waist and your pelvis grinding into his own. Even in the darkness, you knew it was him. Orange magic was coursing over him, illuminating Papyrus’ body. You yanked away from the kiss. 

“PAPYRUS?!” you screamed, horrified. 

Papyrus’ eyes shot open and whatever trance he was in broke instantly. “LORI?” He gasped. The door opened and the lights turned on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHH!!!!! TELL ME YOUR INITIAL REACTION IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!!! Because that was my reaction right after I wrote it. 
> 
> For those avoiding the nsfw tag, sum up:  
> Pap kisses you to stop the screaming...and you both proceed to start grinding on each other until you realize who it is and freak. Someone comes in at the end and interrupts you.
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)


	15. The Ghost Escapes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Cat's out of the bag now. Now what to do with this new info?

Grillby was an elemental of few words and many thoughts. And one of those thoughts concerned whether Papyrus and the human girl had left his establishment. Sans had already taken off after downing the second bottle of ketchup and convincing someone to up the jukebox music. Papyrus had gone to the back a while ago and he should have already left. Grillby rubbed his temples. He didn’t want to accidentally lock anyone inside the bar. He checked to make sure no one required any other food or beverage before heading toward the back. 

He neared the door and paused. He heard the sound of moaning and cocked an eyebrow in interest. He knew the human was experienced but certainly not Papyrus. He wondered if Papyrus was even in there at all or if the skeleton had left and Sans had returned. He wouldn’t put it past Sans. The female wasn’t the most attractive human he had seen, but there was a sexuality around her that was alluring. 

A startled scream from inside forced his hand and he stepped into a dark room. He had forgotten to relight this room after the whole ghost nonsense and quickly channeled his magic to do so. As light returned to the room, he was honestly surprised by the sight in front of him. Apparently Sans had not been kidding about being tied up. The human literally had her hands tied and hung from a hook. She was flushed and panting but otherwise seemed unharmed. No, the real surprise came from her partner. 

Papyrus was clasping the human to him tightly. He held one of her legs up and her other leg was curled around his back. He was equally flushed. Grillby could feel Papyrus’ magic quickly dissipating but he still made eye contact with his orange pupil before it could flicker out. The pupil told him everything: absolute panic and confused arousal. 

He cleared his throat and spoke. “Everything alright?” The two glanced at each other before nodding. He nodded back and left the room. He strode back to the bar and began cleaning the bar table. He smiled. 

~~~~~

The door swung shut, leaving you and Papyrus alone again. Papyrus looked at the door. “I have never heard Grillby speak before,” he said in awe, loosening his grip on you. Your eyes narrowed at him. 

Motherfucker, that’s the first thing he says? After all that? You ignored your still rapidly beating heart and freed both legs from Papyrus’ grasp. He turned to you just in time for you to kick him in the chest, sending him sprawling to the ground. 

“Ouch!” Papyrus yelped, landing on his rear. “Why did you do that?” he asked.  


“You kissed me!”

“You’re supposed to kick someone after they kiss?” He asked fearfully. 

“What? No! Just you kissed me!” 

Papyrus’ cheeks burned orange. “Oh my god, you’re right. I did!” he realized, “I’m so sorry! I came in here because Sans told me he caught the ghost that pet Doggo in a trap and he left it in here.”

“Ghost?” you asked incredulously. 

“Sans instructed me to come in here and get the ghost but I had to be really quiet. I didn’t know that the ghost had tricked you into being captured instead!” 

“What ghost?” 

Papyrus looked uneasy. “Didn’t a ghost tie you up and leave you like this as bait for me?” 

If anyone but Papyrus had asked you this question, you would have asked if they were an idiot and if their mother had dropped them on their head when they were little. But this was Papyrus. Who loved his brother so much that he believed anything he told him. 

“No but I remember Sans tying me up and leaving me here.” 

Papyrus looked shocked. “He must not have realized it was you,” he apologized. Bullshit. He looked around sheepishly. “So there’s no ghost here?” 

“No, but I am the one who petted Doggo.” 

“Ah.” Papyrus looked at your flushed frame and blushed slightly. “May I ask you a question?” 

You shrugged as best you could. “Go for it.”

“Why are you here?”

“Sans tied me up.”

“No, er, why are you at Grillby’s...with Sans?” Papyrus prompted. 

You scoffed. “Heck, Jeremy was here at the beginning too,” you admitted. You weren’t sure what you intended to achieve with that information but you certainly achieved something. Papyrus blush evaporated and he became slightly stiff. Some sick part of you enjoyed causing him some discomfort. But the rest of you felt kinda bad. You sighed. “Jeremy and I were interested in trying monster alcohol. So Sans offered to take us to Grillby’s. Jeremy couldn’t stay long and I uh...ended up accidentally drinking a lot when Sans left to go run an errand.”

Papyrus still looked unsettled. “You’ve been drinking?” He sighed. “That could have been dangerous, you should be careful,” he advised. 

You laughed and motioned to your rope bindings. “Oh trust me. I know! Mind giving me a hand?” Papyrus quickly nodded and approached you carefully. 

“Please don’t kick me, okay?” he asked. 

“No promises,” you grinned mischievously. He sweated nervously but still approached you. You decided to be good and allowed him close enough to lift your rope bindings off the hook. Feeling returned back to your arms as Papyrus gently lowered them for you, still bound, but better than nothing. “That’s much better-gah!” you winced, trying to take a step forward, only to have your leg muscle cramp up on you. 

Papyrus quickly caught you before you could face plant on the floor and let you lean against his chest. A gloved hand came around your back and pat you sympathetically. “Are you alright?” he asked worriedly. 

“Yeah,” you laughed. You nestled your head into his chest, making him shudder. “Not gonna lie here, but man I’m glad it was you that found me and not somebody else.”

“Me too.” 

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, you totally took advantage of me,” you began to admit. 

Papyrus pushed you off his chest and you fell onto a crate. You looked up at him to ask what the hell but stopped. Papyrus looked offended. He pointed a finger at you. “First of all, I thought there was a ghost in here. I did not know you were in here,” he began. “Second, I tried very hard to get you to listen to me but you kept kicking me and you were too distraught to hear my shouting!” He huffed, crossing his arms. He was shouting? You remembered faintly hearing his voice during your panic attack and you bit your lip guiltily. “Third…” his voice trailed off and he didn’t look you in the eye, “I wanted to free you but if I let go of you, you were going to keep striking me. And you kick pretty hard...so I did something I never tried before.”

Your eyes went wide and you lifted your bondage hands to your mouth. “Oh Pap, honey, no, no. Don’t. Don’t tell me I was your first kiss?” 

“Okay, I won’t,” Papyrus promised. You ran your fingers through your hair. 

“You can tell me now.”

“Yes, you are my first kiss,” Papyrus nodded, blushing. “I wasn’t thinking, I just wanted to stop you from screaming so you could hear me and I...did that.” He scratched his head. “I thought the ghost might try to attack you so I remember holding you really tight so she would hit me and not you.”

“The ghost was a girl?” you raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes. And then I remembered that you…” Papyrus’ voice trailed off and a smug grin appeared on his face. He whirled around and pointed a finger at you. “Fourth, you kissed me back!” he declared triumphantly. 

“Hey wait no, you listen,” you stammered. Wow you lost control of the situation there. Papyrus smiled broadly. He was clearly proud of himself. “How do you know I wasn’t kissing you to buy me some time?” 

“Buy you time?” 

“I thought you were a monster.”

“I am a monster.”

You slapped your face. “A monster who was going to eat me.” 

“But I’m not going to eat you.”

“I didn’t know it was you. It was dark. Something hard grabbed me. I screamed…” you hesitated. 

Papyrus looked at you curiously. “You did scream. You screamed for me to come help you,” he added thoughtfully. He glanced at you. “Did you know that Sans was still here?” 

You chuckled, “Yeah. I did. I called for you, because I don’t know, I guess I knew you wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me.”

Papyrus’ face fell. “Ah, but-”

“No buts,” you corrected, “Except for the terror and panic attack and Grillby finding us in the end, I actually enjoyed what happened,” you admitted. Papyrus blushed and he glanced away. You leaned in and elbowed him in the ribs. “You’re a pretty good kisser too,” you winked, “you’re going to blow some lucky girl’s mind one day.” Papyrus chuckled weakly. 

“Ah gee.” He looked over at you. “Oh right. You’re still tied up. Hang on, I’ll have the knot figured out in a jiffy,” he grabbed the rope handcuffs and pulled you directly in front of him so he could see the knot. Before he could even start messing with it, his phone rang. “One moment, it’s Sans,” he explained, picking up the phone. 

“Hello Sans!...No, the ghost wasn’t in the trap. It seems you accidentally caught the human instead! You should be more careful in the future...she’s sitting right next to me...ah, what do you say?...you want me to ask her? Okay…” Papyrus turned to you, “Sans wants to know if you feel like you’ve been possessed by a ghost?” 

“What, no.”

“She says she’s not….oh okay I’ll check. Human are you sure you are not? It can be hard to tell?” 

You scowled. “I said no. I’m fine.” Papyrus nodded and went back to the phone call. 

“She says no...yes she did seem angry that I asked…No, the knot is still there. I haven’t tried to until it yet….uh...are you sure about that Sans?” 

You couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation but you knew something was up. As discreetly as you could without drawing attention, you migrated to the door. Once you were out, you could put your jacket over your hands or something. Just long enough to get home to find a knife or a tutorial on how to escape a failed bondage scenario. Your hands closed over the door knob and attempted to pull the door back. It wouldn’t budge. You tried again, nothing. You stood there scowling at the door until you realized that Papyrus had been holding the door shut above you. 

He was off the phone and he looked extremely apologetic. Papyrus had hung up his phone and braced his hand against the door. "Papyrus, get off the door," you groaned.

He looked very conflicted. "Sans said ghosts can possess people without them knowing it," he began slowly. 

You sighed. "Dude, I'm really tired, I just want to go home and to go sleep."

"He says I should bring you back to our place so we can watch over you."

You looked at him warily. "What if I don't want to? What if i said no?"

Papyrus smiled optimistically. "I would ask you again really nicely and ask you to please say yes."

“And if I say no again? Are you going to just kidnap me or something?” 

Papyrus balked. “Kidnap?! Nyeh! I would hope not. I would really like it if you just said yes though.” 

Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen at this point. You had another plan. You released the door and faced him, attempting to strike a suggestive pose which was hard to do when your hands were tied. "What if I could change your mind?" You cooed. 

Papyrus crossed his arms. "Sans sounded quite serious about this," he tried to tell you resolutely. 

You batted your eyelashes. "I know, but what if I did something for you?" You asked, placing your hands against his chest. 

"S-something for me?" Papyrus stammered. He looked around anxiously. "What do you mean?" 

"Maybe another kiss?" You suggested. 

"Nyeh?!" Papyrus backed up at your words, his face glowing orange. You felt a knot forming in the pit of your stomach. 

You persevered. "Didn't you like it when we kissed?" You asked innocently, stepping closer to him.

"Yes! I mean Oh boy how do I say this?" He looked around for help but it was just you and him. You felt your stomach clenching but you turned up the charm.

"Tell you what, kiss me once and then tell me if you think I'm really possessed," you offered, leaning toward him. 

"If you're sure," Papyrus mumbled uncertainly, approaching you again. He started to lean down to meet your lips when your stomach did a massive somersault. You backed up immediately. 

"Excuse me," you gasped, ran quickly to another part of the room and proceeded to vomit. 

"Are you okay?!?!" Papyrus hollered after you. You stared at where you vomited unsteadily. It was a bunch of colors. 

"Holy shit, I hurled colors," you muttered. 

"Ew." Papyrus made a face. "I did not need to know that."

"I mean seriously, it's like a rainbow."

"Stop telling me this!" Papyrus squealed, placing his hands over where his ears would be. Well whatever seductive mood you had tried to pull was absolutely wrecked. You watched with fascination as the liquid began to evaporate immediately until nothing remained. 

"Hey Papyrus! The vomit vanished."

"Ughh. I'm not encouraging this," He groaned, shutting his eyes and continuing to hold his hands against his skull. 

You got up unsteadily and shrugged. With Papyrus distracted, you opened the back entrance of the bar and stepped out into a well lit alley. You slipped your jacket down to cover your hands and began to walk casually away. Maybe just maybe...you could make it to the street before Papyrus caught on that you were gone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For once, not a cliffhanger...although this evening still has one more surprise for Pap and Lori.
> 
> How you guys doing? Hanging in there? Got a favorite part so far? Anything you hope to see? ;)


	16. Can You Even Mug a Ghost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Is there anything else that can go wrong tonight before Lori gets home?

You heard the door shut behind you and you tensed. Any second you expected the skeleton to burst out after you and catch you. Would Papyrus actually take you against your will? You pshawed. Of course not! But then again...he was really strong. It would not be very hard for him to just scoop you up and walk off. You shuddered and kept walking. Let’s see if you could make it to the street first. 

“Hey pretty lady. Where you off to tonight?” Or...maybe you’d get raped before then. You turned to look at the voice. A disheveled young man stumbled out of the only unlit part of the alley. He walked unsteadily toward you. The smell of alcohol reeked off of him. He made another step in an attempt to bridge the gap between you.

You assumed a cool stance and played along. “Hey nothing much, just meeting up with some friends,” you answered, walking toward the alley exit, attempting to maintain that distance. The man followed. 

“Aight, that’s cool. That’s cool,” he slurred. “Ain’t you cold? Why aren’t you wearing your jacket?” he asked curiously, pointing to your arms. 

The adrenaline from the most recent events had kept you blissfully unaware of the night temperature but upon the drunk man’s observations, you shivered slightly. But putting on the jacket wasn’t an option. “Nah, I’m from Alaska,” you lied, faking a smile.

The drunk man roared with laughter. “Girl, that’s funny. Man, almost makes me feel bad to do this, but I gotta.” He lunged forward with such alacrity that you were caught off guard and he successfully grabbed your arm. “Hello love,” he spoke, the slur completely gone and in his other hand, a knife. 

Your eyes widened. The man had straightened out his clothes in an instant, the disheveled appearance gone. He must have only pretended to be drunk, although his clothes still smelled like alcohol. His eyes narrowed and he observed your movements like a hawk. 

“Man, dude, don’t rape me,” you began, “you have no idea what type of day I’ve had.” 

Your words startled the man and his grip loosened. “What? No. I just want your wallet,” he admitted, his eyes widening.

“Oh. Good. Good. I don’t have a lot of cash. Mostly credit cards that if you take, I’m just going to go and cancel,” Your voice coming out surprisingly tired. Your nerves had already been shot. This guy didn’t even blip on your adrenaline radar.

The man hesitated. Your nonchalance about having a knife pressed to you was disarming him somewhat. “Uh, well, can you at least show me your wallet and I’ll take out whatever cash you do have?” he asked, his voice lightening. 

You shrugged and attempted to reach for your wallet in your side pocket only to have your arms lock. You had a moment of confusion until you remembered that Sans had tied your wrists together, thereby preventing you from actually reaching your wallet which was pressed tightly against your leg in your jeans. You laughed dryly at your predicament. 

The man narrowed his eyes. “You-you think this is a joke?” he growled. 

You shook your head. “No, no. I get it. Yes, all very scary. No. It’s just I can’t reach my wallet to actually hand it to you,” you chuckled, gesturing to your pants pocket. 

The thief gave you a disbelieving look. “Are you fucking with me right now?” You motioned to your sweater and he cautiously yanked it off your arms, revealing your bound wrists. His eyes bulged. “Why the fuck are you tied up?” he gaped. 

“It’s been that type of day. So if you want my wallet, you’re going to have to grab it yourself,” you stated matter of factly, “It’s deep in my right pocket here.” You gestured again.

“I-i, uh alright. Let me just figure out how to do this so I don’t accidentally let you go,” he reasoned out loud, gently moving you back and forth. 

“Fair enough, but if you can, could you hurry it up? I’m actually trying to run away from someone,” you explained, glancing at the door you had exited out of. 

This caught his attention and he jerked you close to him. “Run away from someone? Are you in some kind of trouble?” He asked.

“Kinda. If we stick around here too long, it probably won’t end well for both of us.” The mugger looked around quickly and pondered this information. 

“Hang on, I’ll get you out of this alley and I’ll mug you somewhere safer. Sound good?” he offered helpfully.

You smiled. This had to have been the oddest mugging experience you ever had. “How noble of you. Sure.” He was about to lead you away when you got a bright idea. “Oh! Better plan. Cut my ropes and I’ll give you my wallet!” 

The mugger hesitated. “Uhh…”

“You’ve got a knife. These are ropes! Problem solved.”

“Yeahh, about that…” He looked away guiltily and you looked at his knife. 

“...is that a fake knife?” He didn’t answer. You looked closer. “Did you paint it with silver sparkle nail polish?”

“No...my sister did it for me.” 

“Is your sister 8?”

“She’s 7.” 

“You’ve got to be the worst mugger I’ve ever met...which also makes you the best one since I’ve never been mugged before,” you admitted dryly. 

“Well I am going to buy a real knife once I mug enough people,” he tried to argue. 

“Dude don’t argue with me-”

“HUMAN!” a familiar voice boomed. 

“Oh fuck,” you swore. The mugger looked at you anxiously. 

“Should we run?” 

“Too fucking late for that now.” Both of you turned toward the door at the looming figure standing there.

It was Papyrus. He appeared much more imposing than you remembered as he scanned the environment in front of him. The moonlight gave his armor a malignant shine and his friendly smile appeared to be fanged like a predator. You could feel your "assailant" try to subtly hide behind you but the monster spotted both of you rather quickly. 

"Oh good. You did not go far. I was worried you were trying to run away," he smiled good naturedly as he advanced toward you. 

"Holy shit, is that a monster?" The mugger whispered. Papyrus caught the whisper and looked at your assailant. 

"Oh hello other human!" Papyrus greeted cheerfully. "I am Papyrus!" He strode over to you both and extended his hand, "What is your name?"

The man froze. One hand still gripped you tightly and the other still held the "knife". You jostled the mugger who let go of you to shake the outstretched hand. "I'm Andrew," He mumbled. 

Papyrus smiled. "It is a pleasure to meet you," he said genuinely. He gave Andrew back his hand and the man put it right back on your arm. So much for the idea of slipping away. Papyrus returned his attention back to you. "Lori, are you ready to come with me?"

"Uh...where are you taking her?" Andrew asked carefully. 

"Oh. I am bringing her to my brother's and my home to watch her for ghostly possession."

Andrew blinked and looked at you. "What?"

"He thinks I've been possessed by a ghost so he wants kidnap me," you tried to explain. 

Papyrus gaped. “I do not want to kidnap you!” He protested. 

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. Yes, you just want to take me forcibly to your home.” 

The monster crossed his arms. “I asked you very nicely. I really think you would like my home if you gave it a chance.” 

"Why is she tied up?" Andrew suddenly asked. 

“Nyeh?” Papyrus cocked his head at the mugger. 

“If she’s going with you willingly, why is she tied up?” Andrew asked, pointing at your wrists. 

"Oh that was my brother's idea. To keep her from attacking anyone in case she became possessed...although she can kick pretty hard," Papyrus admitted. 

You had to give the guy credit for sticking around as long as he did. He looked really nervous and was starting to play with his knife. The silver nail polish made the tool sparkle in the moonlight. 

Andrew found himself freezing in place at Papyrus' next comment. "Human, are you wielding a knife?" Andrew remained silent. Your eyes widened. Oh no. Papyrus glanced around curiously before his sockets returned to Andrew. "I don't see a kitchen," He observed slowly. 

Andrew tried to speak but all that came out was a strangled cough. You felt a chill in the air as Papyrus remained silent. 

"...are you trying to harm my human?" He asked lowly, his hands clenching dangerously.

"Wait! I didn't mean-" Andrew panicked, stepping backwards

"Oh no! He was trying to sell me his knife!" You blurted out, jumping forward.

"I-i was?" Andrew asked, gaping at you.

"Yup, remember you didn't have money for the bus so you offered to sell me your shiny kitchen knife so you could get home." 

Andrew stared at you and then glanced back at Papyrus who was still silent. The mugger was giving you a look that basically said there's no way in hell that Papyrus would believe you.

You both jumped as Papyrus laughed joyfully. "Oh human! Why didn't you just say so? The Great Papyrus is very compassionate. Please do not sell your possessions. I will bring you home myself!”

"Are you serious?" Andrew asked, although you weren't sure if it was to you or the monster. 

"Of course! Come with me! I parked nearby. Nyeh heh heh heh." Before either of you could react, he was immediately in front of you. He placed a hand behind each of your backs and gently propelled you both toward the main sidewalk. Andrew hurriedly handed you your jacket and you covered your hands. 

You got a few odd looks as the three walked down the sidewalk. Papyrus was speaking animatedly about how much he had wanted to use his new human imprisonment cell which made you and Andrew exchange nervous glances. Papyrus must have seen you hesitate and quickly informed you that the cell was actually his garage. That comforted you a bit although who the fuck makes people sleep in the garage?

"Oh, I forgot about this," you heard Papyrus speak up as you approached his car. His car was a two seater.

Papyrus scratched his chin. “I am afraid I only have two seats,” Papyrus realized.

“Oh, that’s okay!” Andrew announced starting to back up, “I can walk home!” 

Papyrus caught Andrew’s arm. “Nonsense! The Great Papyrus does not abandon his friends!” 

“I guess one of us could go in the trunk,” you offered. 

“Nyeh heh heh. Of course!” Papyrus gave you a slap on the back. “I will go in the trunk and you two can drive the car.” He paused. “Well, you may have difficulty driving with your hands tied, so he can drive the car.” 

“Andrew, can you drive a clutch?” 

“No.”

“Oh,” Papyrus was disappointed. You bit the bullet. 

“I’ll get in the trunk,” you offered. Andrew and Papyrus tried to protest but you held up a hand, er hands. “Listen, even if Andrew got in the trunk, do you know how bad it would look if a cop pulls us over and he sees a monster driving with a human tied up in the passenger seat?” Papyrus tried to protest but you cut him off. “And no, explaining the situation would not help. A lot of humans are still nervous about the concept of magic. Maybe he would think you were mind controlling me?” You walked over to the trunk, popped it open and threw yourself in before either of them could say anything. 

Andrew followed you and smiled weakly. “Well here’s hoping that someone doesn’t search the car,” he hoped, shutting you in the darkness. 

Now you weren’t necessarily claustrophobic, but being trapped in a small dark container with no idea where you were going was certainly terrifying and you shut your eyes to not freak out. You could hear Papyrus and Andrew as they climbed into the car, which surprisingly calmed you down. 

“Wowie! You don’t live that far from me!” She could hear him exclaim. 

“Really? That’s actually kinda cool.” 

The car engine roared to life and you felt the car accelerate. It was more difficult to hear the two guys but you could catch the occasional phrase. 

“I’ve got only one sibling. A little sister.” 

“Oh! I’ve got only one too. A big brother!” 

The conversation seemed benign. You felt drowsy. Soon, the steady growl of the engine lulled you to a heavy sleep. 

~~~~~

“Human! Wake up, we have arrived,” Papyrus’ voice roused you from your sleep. You blinked and stretched your limbs as best as you could in the trunk of the car. Papyrus helped you get out and you looked around sleepily. 

“Where’s Andrew?” You mumbled. 

“Oh! Wonderful news! He and his family live just down the street from Sans and I,” Papyrus informed you. You smiled and began to nod off where you stood. Papyrus steadied you. “Ah, I can see that you are tired. Fear not, I have taken the liberty of preparing your lodgings.”

Having been denied sleep, you observed your surroundings and realized you were inside what appeared to be a chilly garage. The car was parked inside alongside a small scooter. There were various tools, weapons and boxes strewn about. But what most caught your eye was a small dog bed, a bowl of cut up hotdogs and a glass of water lying on the floor. You looked at Papyrus who was beaming. 

“Do you guys have a dog?” You asked sleepily. 

“No, although there’s this mutt that keeps coming and stealing my special attacks,” Papyrus grumbled. He brightened up and pointed to the bed. “No, this is your bed!” 

“You’re kidding.” 

“Nope,” Papyrus shook his head. “This is all for you!” He placed a hand over his chest proudly. “I know, you must be thinking that this is too much, but Papyrus wants what’s best for his friends-eh, what are you doing?” 

You were already climbing back into the trunk. “Getting back into the trunk.”

“Why? I have a perfectly good bed here for you.”

“That’s a dog bed. And not even like a Labrador dog bed, but like a Chihuahua one,” you mumbled. 

“Frisk liked it,” Papyrus insisted. 

“Yeah, I’m bigger than Frisk,” you retorted. You shivered. “Plus, it’s pretty cold out here. You don’t even have a blanket. I’ll probably catch a cold.”

Papyrus paused as you tried to adjust yourself in the trunk. “But until I know you are not possessed, don’t you think you should stay in the gar-er cell in case the ghost comes back? If you stay here, the ghost cannot take you outside.” 

“Fine, fine, whatever,” you grumbled, finding a semi comfortable position, “If my jailer won’t let me in the house, I’ll take my chances in the trunk,” you grumbled, reaching up to pull the trunk back down. “I bet Sans would have let me sleep inside.”

Papyrus’ hand caught the door before you could shut it all the way and he lifted it back up. He looked rather conflicted. “I-”

“He probably would have brought me a blanket too because he’s a better friend.”

Papyrus made a face and to your surprise, slammed the trunk lid shut, leaving you in darkness. You groaned but were too stubborn to admit defeat, instead pulling your sweater over yourself in a makeshift blanket and curling up tightly.

Man, your day could not have gotten any better, could it? You had a less than successful second date with Jeremy, you admitted your bondage fantasy to a lecherous skeleton and then you were molested and kidnapped by his younger brother. Oh, and fake mugged. You should have been furious...yet. You cracked a faint smile in the darkness. There was something charming about how fucked up this whole situation was, you realized. 

Oh sure, you would be furious in the morning, but for now, you found it much more amusing than you had intended. Exhaustion finally won you over and you felt yourself slipping into unconsciousness. You shifted only slightly when the trunk was opened. In fact, you were so tired, you did not even register a tall figure lifting you from the trunk and cradling you gently into the home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion to an exciting night - mugged, kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a car! Hurrah?
> 
> Maybe tomorrow morning will yield some answers.


	17. Mini Chapter: A Test of Endurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Why have I updated so soon? 
> 
> Well, I read everyone's comments and The_S_S_Selfindulgence expressed an interest in seeing Pap's POV at the end of the last chapter. To be honest, I hadn't intended to write his POV and instead launch straight into next morning, but after thinking about it, I think it would be kind of fun to see what the heck he was thinking?
> 
> So I present a mini chapter! What the hell's a mini chapter you may ask? A mini chapter is a shorter chapter that is not terribly important plot wise but it does provide some insight into future character actions and contains a couple of laughs. 
> 
> If you're not interested in reading this, you are free to skip this chapter and wait for the next one. It should be up by Sunday.

10 minutes earlier…

“He probably would have brought me a blanket too because he’s a better friend.” Papyrus’ sockets widened at your words. Granted they were spoken through a yawn, but they were rather biting nevertheless. He had no idea how to respond to that and felt his face twist in irritation. He would think of something clever to say back to you that would make you immediately regret your unkind words. He thought of something and brought his hand down in triumph...accidentally slamming the trunk shut.

Papyrus slapped his other hand over his mouth to prevent him from gasping. Oh my god! He just locked you in the trunk! He lunged to open the trunk and begin to apologize but he resisted. Instead, he brought his skull close to the trunk and listened. He could hear you rustling and adjusting yourself but otherwise nothing. No crying, no swearing, no begging for mercy. Just silence. 

He stood back up to his full height and shuffled unsuredly. Perhaps...this was a test of endurance? A wry smile crept onto his face. Yes, of course. This was a challenge. Who would give up first. Certainly not him! He puffed out his chest defiantly and walked back into his house, shutting and locking the door behind him. You would realize your mistake soon enough!

He went into the kitchen and pulled out the milk, pouring himself a glass as he continued to gloat. “Surely, the human will realize that the lodgings I provided are far superior than the trunk!” He declared confidently. He went to take a gulp and stopped. Papyrus stared at the milk. The last time he had milk was when you had nearly drowned him in it after using your pink stick. He thumbed the lip of the glass thoughtfully before he shook his head. 

“Nyeh! I will not be dissuaded in my resolve!” He announced and chugged the entire glass resolutely. He swallowed in determination, thankfully not choking this time. He took the glass to the sink and began to wash it. The water pouring over the glass brought his mind back to you once more. You got yourself completely soaked in both water and milk that night. He remembers you shivering against him, most likely from the freezing water. He did not feel the cold, but you certainly did. You were probably feeling very cold all alone in the trunk of the car…

“No! Remain steadfast, Papyrus!” He slapped himself. “She-she chose to stay in the trunk!” He told himself. He took a towel to dry the glass and sighed. “I didn’t even give her a towel for a blanket,” he muttered dejectedly. He put the glass away and turned off the lights as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom. Papyrus opened the door and sat down on his race car bed. He ran his hand over the covers, finding comfort in the straightness and tidiness of the bed.

Papyrus pulled down the covers and snuggled in. Normally Sans would read him a story, but it appeared that he had not returned from Grillby’s yet so he would have to do without. He pulled the blankets up to his chest and shut his sockets. Only to open them again and sit up grumpily. “Really! That dog bed is more than adequate for her!” He protested, leaping out his bed and leaving the bedroom. He stomped down the stairs and reached the garage entrance. He stopped before he touched the door knob. 

Was this considered losing? “No, no it’s not admitting defeat. I’m just, erhm, making sure that I have been fair in this test of endurance.” He told himself. He opened the door silently and stepped in. He remained quiet and listened for any sounds. Perhaps an admission of defeat? Er, no, just snoring, he realized. He spotted the dog bed and harrumphed. He made his way to it and plopped himself down in the bed. Papyrus adjusted himself, trying to fit more than part of his leg in the bed without much success. He groaned. You were certainly taller than his leg. Perhaps he had simply miscalculated the size of the bed. Well no matter! He would simply leave and purchase a larger bed for you...except the only way he would be able to make it to a store at this hour would be if he took the car. And he’s sure you would wake up the minute he turned on the ignition and either cause you to panic or worse, realize you had won!

He remained seated in the dog bed, grumbling to himself. Well, maybe he could bring you a blanket at least. He was pretty sure he had seen one on the couch. He retrieved a blanket from the couch and returned to the trunk. “I’ll just give her the blanket. And therefore prove that I am the better um, friend I suppose?” He popped open the trunk and stared down at you. You had tried to pull your thin jacket over your body to cover yourself. It didn’t appear to provide much warmth as you shivered in your sleep. Papyrus bit his glove nervously. Even with the blanket, there was a very good chance you would still be cold. And catch a cold. Just like you predicted. And you would win. 

Or maybe not. Papyrus watched your sleeping frame and contemplated his options. Maybe, he could bring you inside. Put you in a room that you would not be able to escape from! Yes! Of course! He smiled excitedly! But how to move you? He hesitated. “I suppose I could pick you up,” he observed. He tentatively reached underneath and delicately lifted you from the trunk, placing one arm behind your back and the other underneath your knees. He cradled you to his chest and felt himself let out a sigh of relief as you remained dead to the world. 

After a moment or two, you stopped shivering. Unconsciously, you leaned and pressed yourself against his chest. He could feel himself color although he wasn’t sure why. He had carried several companions through various training exercises and more than once had to lug Sans home after his older brother imbibed too much. Yet somehow, there was something strangely intimate about the way he was holding you as he carried you over the threshold of his home. 

“Where to put you?” Papyrus strategized. He considered depositing you on the couch but realized that if you were indeed possessed, you would very easily be able to stand up and walk out the front door. No. It had to be a place with only one entrance. Sans’ room was locked...which left..”My room,” he realized, “I’ve got to bring her to my room.” 

The outloud admission had him feeling of combination of giddiness, nervousness and overall weirdness which he quickly attempted to shut down. “No, no, no. Focus!” He rebuked himself. He carried you to his room and pushed open the door. Thankfully, he had left the blankets uncovered and he gently placed you in his bed. He smiled at his accomplishment before hesitating. Now what? Where was he going to sleep? He observed his bed. “There’s enough room for both of us,” he admitted. 

A searing hot flash erupted in his chest at the admission and he gripped the wall to steady himself. What was that?! Had you attacked him, he thought as he stared down at you in disbelief. No, you were stlll asleep. Why had the the suggestion of sharing a bed with you caused such a severe reaction? Perhaps it was because you were asleep and could not agree to sharing a bed with him? Could it be guilt related? He didn’t quite believe that reason as his soul beat roughly in his chest.

No, sleeping in the same bed was out of the question, regardless. He gently pulled up the covers to your chest and admired his handiwork. Perfect. As for where he would sleep...well, he was a royal guard in training. Weren’t royal guards expected to stay up all night if needed to protect the royal family? Of course! He placed a hand on his chest and saluted. He would stand guard outside the door until he deemed it safe. Papyrus smirked proudly. True, you had his bed, but you were still tied up and in his custody. He had won. He was truly the Great Papyrus.

Papyrus made a motion to step back but found himself caught. He glanced down curiously and his sockets arched in surprise as he realized that he had been holding your hands. When had he taken your hands? He couldn’t remember doing it, but honestly, the feeling of your smaller fingers entwined with his larger ones felt rather nice. He looked at your restraints and faltered. 

Your wrists were starting to bruise under the tension of the rope. Papyrus wanted to undo the knot but if he did that, would this be an admission of defeat? He sighed. He was the Great Papyrus alright...but he was also the Merciful Papyrus. He deftly untied and removed your bindings and tucked them away in his chest plate. Before your wrists had a chance to fall, he clasped both of them and began to rub some feeling and circulation back into them. 

You groaned at the sensation and he cooed you back to sleep. Reluctantly, he released your hands and allowed them to lie at your sides. Even with his gloves on, touching you had brought a pleasant warmth in his chest. The absence of the touch reminded him once again that he had lost. His shoulders sinking in defeat, Papyrus dragged himself to the door and made a move to exit.

“Papyrus.” He froze and turned around. You were rolling on to your side, still very much asleep. “Thank you,” you murmured. 

Papyrus smiled at your sleepy admission. “You’re welcome, Lori,” he spoke quietly He gave a short bow and left the room. He positioned himself in front of his bedroom door and assumed a defensive stance. “Maybe it was alright to lose this time,” he grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you guys feel about this chapter? I am thinking about publishing mini chapters in the future. Is this something that people would like to see? Let me know!


	18. Morning Regrets? (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lori tries to remember what happened last night...  
> Also, how the fuck do you spell duffel bag?

You stirred as sunlight filtered through the blinds onto your face. You brought your hands to your eyes and rubbed them sleepily. Your vision was still blurry with sleep so you felt around your bed for your phone. Not finding it immediately, you began to slowly sit up, wincing slightly as your back was sore. 

“God, what a weird dream,” you groaned, running your hands through your hair. “I must have drank more monster alcohol than I thought. I don’t even remember getting home...did Papyrus drive me home or something?” You wondered aloud. Your memory was a bit hazy but you knew Papyrus was there last night. But then the dreams you had about him afterwards...

The thoughts made you bite your lip. You and he were grinding on each other as you were bound and suspended. You could feel your breath hitch and you blushed. You broke into a low chuckle. Yeah, there was no way that happened, but still what an odd dream. You would definitely have to ask Sans about weird dreams being a side effect of the alcohol. Well, maybe you wouldn’t mention that in the dream you basically had dry sex with his brother. 

The thought of Sans made you shiver. You and he did have a conversation last night about something rather important...but again your mind was kinda hazy and you’re not sure when you started dreaming and what actually happened. You let out a humongous yawn and wiped the sleep away from your eyes. You stiffened. 

This wasn’t your room. You fought the urge to scream or swear (most likely swear) and observed your surroundings. If you didn’t know better, you would say you were in a young boy’s room. There was a pirate flag hanging on the wall and a table of action figures near you. A bookcase filled with all types of literature stood next to a computer desk, complete with a computer. You found your eyes drifting to a corner and to your surprise you saw a box of odd shaped bones. You came to the conclusion that you were either in the home of an eccentric mass murderer or you were in the skelebros home. And if you were in the skelebros home, then that means…Your eyes widened.

“Oh my God, Papyrus and I-!” You couldn’t even articulate the realization but instead buried your face in your hands. Everything was real, your mind shrieked at you. Sans had bound you and propositioned you for a friends with benefits gig which you had actually accepted. And then Papyrus walked in and not only scared the living shit out of you, but he kissed you. And not a gentle peck either. Like a full blown passionate kiss. If skeletons had tongues, you’re sure you would have been frenching. 

As your mind reeled from that realization, you began to consider how you really felt about what happened. Did you actually want to engage in casual sex with Sans? Did you enjoy your kiss with Papyrus or was it really just adrenaline from what you thought was a near death experience? Now that you were technically sober (although you insisted that you never got drunk on the monster alcohol and that Sans was a goddamn liar), did you regret any of the actions you took last night? 

No. You smiled strangely to yourself. No, you didn’t regret it. Oh sure, it was embarrassing and you were mad as hell at the brothers for basically kidnapping you, even though you didn’t actively fight Papyrus, it was still kidnapping. “Shit, wait, did he kidnap the mugger too?” You realized, “Gahhh!!! He did! Oh, goddammit Papyrus.” You doubted Andrew would file a report or anything, but still it was a really really bad idea to just kidnap random strangers. You would probably have to have a talk with Papyrus about that. 

Speaking of Papyrus, where was he? Or more importantly...how did YOU get HERE? You scrunched your forehead. The last thing you remember, Papyrus had shut you in the trunk and you had tried to stay warm by pulling your jacket over you...And now you were in someone’s bed? A bed that smelled very familiar. And call it a hunch, but you were pretty sure you knew whose bed this was. 

“Oh god, did we do anything?” You gasped. You quickly patted yourself down and realized you were still wearing your bra. Well that explained why your back was sore. Judging by the fact that you were still in your date clothes AND bra (oh, you meant battle attachment), you could safely assume that you and Papyrus did not, er, engage in physical relations. You didn’t think he even tried to share a bed with you, but just to be sure, you peeked under the covers. Nope. No skeleton. 

Now that you thought about it, you thought you remembered someone carrying you last night. Ugh. Last night. The memory of the heated kiss tugged at your chest again. You would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the kiss. For someone who had never kissed before, Papyrus apparently possessed some natural aptitude toward kissing. Then again, he was pretty great, so maybe you shouldn’t have been too surprised. “Heh, I guess he really is the Great Papyrus,” you giggled to yourself. 

You stopped laughing and mulled over this information. “Do I like Papyrus?” You asked yourself. He was sweet, absolutely naive, but his heart, or whatever skeleton monsters had, was in the right place. “Maybe?” You guessed. Yes, you admit-there did appear to be butterflies in your stomach at the thought of the skeleton. And maybe, just maybe, your heart DID beat a little bit faster when he was around. But then again, every time he was around, something insane or disastrous was also happening so could you really attribute all those symptoms to feelings of actual affection or just an adrenaline rush?

To be honest, you had never fallen for someone so uh, inexperienced? Was that the right word? Yet, if that skeleton asked to kiss you again...a goofy smile grew on your face and you hugged your knees. Yeah, you couldn’t lie. You’d kiss him again in a second. 

Your smile froze. “I wonder if he likes me at all?” Oh my God. You hadn’t thought of that. Of course, you should only kiss someone you were interested in but Papyrus might not know that. For all you knew, he could have tried to headbutt you and accidentally kissed you instead and just went with it because it shut you up. You shook your head. “No, no. I can’t imagine him doing that,” you attempted reassure yourself as your stomach threatened to sink. 

“UGH!!! TOO MUCH THINKING!” You could spend hours trying to analyze last night. “Or, I could just say fuck that nonsense and procrastinate on the thinking.” You loved procrastinating, so you shelved away any doubts you had for later. After all, you did have a hang out to go to. 

You hopped off the bed, and spotted a familiar looking bag in the middle of the room. It was your duffel bag...which you did not bring with you on your date to Jeremy. You eyed it suspiciously before walking over and unzipping it. You found a note on top of a change of clothes. You read the note. 

“hey lori. hope you slept ok. i went to your home to bring back your car and a change of clothes. pap can be a bit enthusiastic when he cooks so you probably don’t want to get your date clothes dirty. come down whenever.” You smiled and reached inside the bag to find a pair of loose fitting sweat pants and a tank top. There was something else though. You dug a bit deeper and your eyes widened. You pulled out a black thong. This wasn’t yours. It looked new.

“Sans,” you realized, gritting your teeth. Yes, if your memories hadn’t emerged before, they were now running at you at full force. Sans had mentioned an interest in getting intimate with you and you had agreed. So here were your new intimates. Ha! Well, nobody said you had to change all of your clothes. 

“Oh shit,” you muttered as you stripped. Apparently you had been more aroused than you thought last night and your underwear...Ah, let’s just say that you probably shouldn’t wear these again until after they made a trip to the washing machine. You stripped and slipped on the change of clothes. 

You stashed the clothes back in the duffel bag and hoisted it on to your shoulder but stopped to observe the bed you left behind. “It’s a racecar,” you noted with a goofy grin, admiring the red race car frame. Papyrus must really like his car. You chuckled to yourself and approached the door. 

As you grasped the doorknob, you realized that your wrists were no longer tied together. Except for a barely noticeable bruise on your right wrist, you would have hardly been able to guess that you had participated in some pretty spontaneous bondage play. “Well Sans, it looks like you know what you’re doing,” you smiled mischievously before pushing open the door and walking out. 

~~~~~

Papyrus paced anxiously between the kitchen and the living room, rubbing his hands together. Sans watched his brother from his spot on the couch. Sans had to admit it was amusing for the first hour or so and he had made a couple jokes about Papyrus making a hole between the two rooms if he walked enough. But by now, it was a bit much. Even when Sans had slipped out to get the human’s car and a change of clothes, Papyrus was still pacing silently. Sans decided to break the silence. 

“so, i see you didn’t make the human sleep in the garage,” he commented. Papyrus blinked in surprise and turned to Sans. 

“Oh Sans! Eh, how long have you been there?” 

Sans checked the clock. It was close to 1pm, he had been awake since 10am...and who knows when Papyrus woke up. “i’ve been here for about an hour or so,” he answered. Papyrus appeared startled at the admission and began to try to count on his fingers. “wanna take a seat, bro? you look bone tired.” Papyrus looked like he was going to decline but he let out a big yawn and sleepily nodded his head.

“I’m sorry, Sans. I’m having difficulty concentrating,” Papyrus apologized, taking a seat. 

“doesn’t sound like you got much sleep last night.” Papyrus hummed in response. “so the human slept in your room?” Papyrus nodded. Sans nudged him gently. “did you sleep with her?”

Papyrus did not appear to understand the implication because he simply yawned again. “No, I did not want to surprise her.” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “I didn’t think she was possessed so I untied her when I put her to bed,” he admitted. Sans nodded. 

“well if she got your bed, where did you sleep, paps?” Sans asked. 

“I slept outside the door in case that ghost came back,” Papyrus answered sleepily. 

“huh, well just a heads up i went to her place and brought her car and some clothes for her,” Sans informed. 

“Wow, I never knew you even left,” Papyrus smiled, clearly impressed. 

“yeah.” Sans observed his brother a bit closer. “you seem kinda nervous about hanging out with the human.”

“I’m not nervous,” Papyrus lied, “we are just hanging out and cooking. Like what Undyne and I do all the time.” 

Sans shrugged. “oh okay. did anything happen between you guys last night?” 

Papyrus stiffened. It was an innocent question right? Why did he have such a visceral reaction to it? Images of you immediately flooded his mind. How good you felt against his body, your lips pressed against him and those noises. Those noises that made him feel like he was on fire. He wanted to hear more of those delicious noises and he felt his soul start to swell. Realization crashed on him quickly as he remembered where he was. He coughed and feigned nonchalance. 

“Hmm, no nothing happened.” 

If Sans had eyebrows, he would have raised them. “well if you want to talk about anything, you know i’m here,” Sans offered with a shrug. Papyrus felt something twinge inside of him as Sans continued, “you’d tell me if you guys took things past friends, right?” 

Papyrus stood up quickly. His heart rate was fast and he nervously spoke. “We got confused last night but she and I are merely friends.” His soul began to slam painfully against his chest at the words, but he persevered. 

He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince with his words. The feelings and physical responses you had drawn out of him were completely foreign to him and maybe if he was slightly calmer, he absolutely would have loved some clarification as to why he felt like that. But he was Papyrus. He was strong and in control of himself. Sans looked like he was about to speak but Papyrus cut him off. “Nothing happened,” he gritted his teeth. 

“pap…” Sans tried to speak up but Papyrus had to be confident. 

“And-and even if something happened between us, it did not mean anything. I was merely reacting defensively to stop a situation from escalating! So there is nothing to talk about. Because nothing happened. We are only friends.” Papyrus continued. 

“pap listen...” 

“It was a battle strategy! Just my excellent training coming to fruition! It meant nothing!” Papyrus ended up a sense of finality, stomping his foot down to emphasize the point. Sans sighed and rubbed his forehead. Papyrus cocked a head in confusion at him. “What?”

“Good morning guys,” a familiar voice greeted behind him. Papyrus felt his sockets widen and he quickly spun around. There you were, standing with a duffel bag on your shoulder and staring at Papyrus intently. Panic gripped his chest. He wondered how much you had heard. 

~~~~~

You heard everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Oops...  
>  Unfortunate timing is unfortunate.  
> I'm sure the ramifications will be minor.
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> 


	19. The Cooking Lesson (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We promised a cooking lesson...and dammit, we are going to have a cooking lesson.

Sans had spotted you when you had descended the stairs during Papyrus’ dialogue but the larger skeleton had been too oblivious to pick up on Sans’ hints to stop speaking. So you got to hear everything. It meant nothing huh? Just a battle strategy? You bit your lip as those nice warm feelings you had collected this morning immediately transformed into poison that stung your chest and your eyes bitterly. You could feel your eyes starting to water but you were not going to cry. Not over Papyrus.

Had he even said that he had liked you? That fearful doubt you had buried rose full force and you bit your lip even harder, threatening to draw blood. No, he never did. So why should you feel upset? The kiss was just a last ditch attempt to get you to calm down. As Papyrus said, it meant nothing to him. So it should mean nothing to you. You stopped biting your lip and broke into a smile. Fuck him.

“Human!” Papyrus gasped. “How did you sleep?” He choked.

“Good,” you nodded, “better than sleeping in the trunk.” You turned to Sans who looked at you sympathetically. “Hey, thanks for getting my stuff,” you managed to continue to smile at him.

Sans nodded. “no problem. sorry that you got caught in my trap,” he apologized with a wink, “did papyrus have any trouble getting you out of there?”

You shook your head. “Nope. Nothing too exciting. He just scared me in the darkness is all,” you answered, ignoring the pained look on the younger skeleton’s face. You turned to Papyrus. “Well, let’s get cooking, okay?”

Papyrus blinked in surprise. “Right now?”

You nodded. "Well yeah. The sooner we start cooking, the sooner we can finish and I can go home," you asserted. Papyrus instantly shifted awkwardly and didn't meet your eye.

Sans let out a low whistle. "whelp, this got uncomfortable real fast. you kids have fun. i'm off to work," he gave Pap a quick pat on the back and to your surprise caught you in a hug.

"don't be too hard on my bro ok," he whispered into your ear, “give him time.”

You sighed. "Fine, fine. I’ll play nice," you whispered back smiling at the brotherly affection. Sans shot you a grateful smile as you ended the hug. He stopped by your duffel bag briefly and soon after left the house. You turned back to Papyrus who looked even more uncomfortable than he had a moment ago after having just watched Sans and you exchange a longer than normal hug. You smiled disarmingly at him. "So, how do you make spaghetti?"

Papyrus didn't answer. You walked over and prodded him in the chest. "Hey Papyrus."

"Nyeh!" He squeaked, looking down at you. “Human, uh, if you do not want to hang out, I would understand. Last night-”

You held up your hand. “Didn’t mean anything. A battle tactic only. Yeah, I heard,” Papyrus tried to glance away from you again but you took his hand. “Listen, fear and alcohol can make people do stupid things...like assume their friend is possessed by ghosts and then kidnap a random stranger and drive him home.” Papyrus shifted nervously. “Let’s just hang out and see what happens,” you smiled gently.

“I didn’t mean...ah. Are you sure about this?”

Your eyes glinted devilishly. “Ah, I see you are admitting defeat already.”

“Defeat?” Papyrus stared at you in confusion. “I don’t-”

“Clearly you are no match for my own pasta making skills,” you continued, adding a twirl of your wrist to increase the bravado of your statements, “I bet you can’t even cook artisanal pasta afterall.”

You stole a glance at Papyrus who gritted his teeth at you. He put his hands on his hips and was puffing out his chest. “Human! I will have you eat those words! Literally, I will shape my masterpiece to match your statement and you will have no choice but to eat them!” He seized your wrist and dragged you into the kitchen. You grinned widely.

Papyrus was full of determination.

You found yourself in a surprisingly normal kitchen. It had a stove, an oven, a fridge, various cupboards and shelves. Yup. Perfectly normal. Except for that sink. You gazed up at the sink. It was so tall. Papyrus was probably the only one who could reach it. You opened your mouth to comment on it but your words died in your mouth as he held out an apron for you. “I’m afraid I’m going to give you Sans’ apron,” Papyrus apologized as you slipped it on. “But do not worry! It is clean. Sans never wears it because he rarely cooks.”

“No worries,” you smiled, typing it around your waist. “Have you washed the vegetables yet?” Papyrus nodded, gesturing to the ready vegetables sitting neatly on the counter. “Awesome, I just need to wash my hands, and I’ll be set,” You said as you walked out of the kitchen.

“Oh, there’s a sink here!” Papyrus offered helpfully.

You chuckled, “I can’t reach reach that one. It seems awfully tall even for you.”

Papyrus looked proud. “Of course it is. I made it that way so we had more space to put things. Like my extra bones.” He popped open the cupboard to demonstrate its usefulness and you immediately broke into a huge grin.

“AW! Look at the cute little dog!” You squealed, bringing your hands to your cheeks. You may be a licensed professional but a dog was a dog dammit and you were going to get excited about it. It was a happy white dog sitting all alone in an empty cupboard. It yipped happily as your discovery and wiggled.

Until Papyrus started shouting. “There he is! That’s the stupid mutt who keeps stealing my attacks!” The dog quickly darted out of the cupboard and out of the kitchen before either of you could move. You heard the front door open and shut as Papyrus scowled. You swore you could even hear it lock the door as it left.

“That’s pretty impressive that the dog can open doors without thumbs,” you admitted. Papyrus groaned.

“One day. I will catch him. And he will give me back all the bones that he stole,” Papyrus promised. You gave him a pat on the back.

“You’ll catch him some day.” You glanced around the kitchen. “You wouldn’t happen to have a stepladder around here or did the dog get that too?”

Papyrus huffed. “I don’t think so, but I wouldn’t put it passed that meddlesome canine. Why do you need a stepladder?”

“So I can wash my hands in this sink,” you reminded gently.

“Oh, yes I see. You are rather small,” Papyrus observed. He snapped his gloved fingers. “I can give you a boost,” he offered.

“Are you sure? I’m kinda heavy,” you warned.

Papyrus nodded. “I’m up to the challenge.” You stood in front of the sink as Papyrus came up. You expected him to at least warm up but he deftly seized you around your hip and hefted you up. “You are very light,” he assured you. You couldn’t help but giggle. “Eh?”

“Sorry, Pap. This kinda reminds me of what my dad used to do when I was younger and couldn’t reach our own bathroom sink,” You chuckled, your mind still somewhat reeling from the sudden change in altitude.

“That is very kind of him,” Papyrus noted. You quickly washed your hands but did not see a towel.

“Do you have a towel I can wipe my hands on?” You asked. You felt Papyrus shift his hold on you. Suddenly you realized he was holding you up with only one hand as he reached for a towel. “Man, you’re really strong!!” You gasped, “Nobody’s ever picked me up with only one hand.”

“Of course!” Papyrus proudly stated as he handed the towel up to you. “I train every day!” You began to dry your hands as he attempted to once again place his other hand back on your hip. Except he didn’t quite place it high enough to rest against your hip. Instead, his hand ended up slightly lower. You immediately realized the seriousness of the mistake when his fingers curled in and pressed against your...oh boy!

“Put me down now! Please,” you heard yourself squeak as you felt yourself color darkly. Papyrus set you down and you could feel him curiously observing you but you didn’t let him see your face. “So! What’s the first step?” You quickly asked, changing the topic.

“Nyeh heh heh!” Papyrus focused on the ingredients. “Prepare to be amazed by my culinary prowess!” You helped gather some of the vegetables onto the counter. “First, let’s start with the sauce!”

“Cool, cool.” Papyrus closed his eyes but did nothing. “Uh, do you have a knife or something-?” In a split second, Papyrus brought both his hands down and smashed the vegetables into the counter, splattering tomato bits everywhere. “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” You gasped, jumping backwards. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!”

Papyrus smiled. “Undyne said to cook with passion. Everything must be done passionately. Especially when we attack the vegetables like our enemies...or at least how Undyne would treat her enemies!” Papyrus beamed proudly.

You looked at the mess. “How are you going to get that in the frying pan?” You asked. He held out a spatula and started to scrape the mixture into a bowl. You stared dumbfounded at Papyrus.

Although the apron took the brunt of the damage, Papyrus still had tomato sauce splattered on his bones. It was a little bit uh, creepy? Yeah, that was pretty accurate description. If he went out on Halloween night covered in tomato sauce, he might win an award or two. Yet Papyrus didn’t seem to mind...or notice. He was intently scraping the mixture into his bowl. “So how do you season your pasta sauce?” You asked cautiously as he managed to scoop most of the sauce into a frying pan.

“Oh! Salt, pepper, basil…”

“Good, good.”

“And glitter.”

“...glitter?” You questioned as he began to pull spices out of the rack.

“Of course! Pasta has to sparkle!” You watched in horror as he dumped the entire bottle of glitter and he began to stir.

“Uh, Papyrus, are you sure you don’t mean garlic?” You hesitated.

He cocked his head at you curiously. “Garlic? What’s that?”

You felt your heart drop into your stomach as your Italian ancestors called out for justice. “It’s a plant that commonly goes in pasta dishes,” you tried to explain. You did not add “and it is so good, I would fuck it if Garlic was a dude.” Papyrus still looked confused. You decided to try an experiment.

A lightbulb seemed to go off on his head. “Oh! Yes! I saw you bought something different.” He pointed toward another part of the counter and you spotted the garlic you had purchased still wrapped and unsmashed. As you made your way over and began to collect the precious materials, Papyrus shrugged. “I’ll admit that I’m unfamiliar with that vegetable so I left it to the side in case you purchased it by mistake.”

You gathered all the garlic in your hands and set it on the other side away from his splattered creation. “Tell you what, why don’t you keep making your style of pasta and I’ll make mine and we’ll try them both and learn from each other?” You offered.

Papyrus eagerly agreed. “Wowie! What a great idea! I think I still have more of your vegetables in the fridge. Would you like me to help you prepare them as well?”

“NO! Ah, I mean, no. Listen, uh, do you have any knives?”

~~~~~

To your surprise, the skeleton household did have kitchen knives. They just were like Sans’ apron: not used very much. You also found a cutting board when made cutting up the tomatoes and garlic much easier. You found yourself whispering adoringly under your breath to the garlic as you peeled and minced it. When it came to the onion though…

“Are you crying? Is something wrong?” Papyrus asked worriedly, approaching you.

You sniffled as the onion stung your eyes. “No-no. It’s the onion.”

Papyrus observed the half cut onion warily. “The onion?” He turned his attention to the onion. “Please onion, do not make my human cry. I would appreciate it very much,” he asked politely.

You couldn’t help but giggle as you teared up. “No no, the onion releases stuff into the air which makes you cry when you cut it.”

“Would you like me to cut it for you?” He offered. You shook your head.

“Naw, I’m almost done.” You soon were scraping the onion pieces into the frying pan and Papyrus returned to his own cooking. This left you alone with your thoughts.

Papyrus called you his human again. You thought he said that last night when you were getting “mugged” but now there were no doubts. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye but he remained unaffected. Perhaps getting called his human was the same as getting called his friend? You were thinking far too much into that innocuous phrase and you silently chastised yourself. You should be concentrating on kicking his ass at cooking, not trying to analyze his words.

“Hey Papyrus, do you have another pot lid? I need to set the sauce to simmer,” you asked. He did not respond. You glanced at him. “Uh, Papyrus! Do you have a pot lid?”

Your second attempt seemed to rouse him. “Oh yes, it’s in that cupboard over there. Let me get it for you,” he offered.

“Oh! No no, keep stirring yours, I can reach it!” You responded quickly. He resumed stirring in glitter as you walked over to where he pointed. To your annoyance, you stepped on the bottom edge of your loose sweatpants, yanking them down slightly. You pulled them up but scowled. “Gah, I wish Sans grabbed a different pair of sweat pants,” You grumbled.

“What? What’s wrong with your pants?” He paused. “Wait. Your clothes are different again! How is this possible?”

You glanced back at him as you opened the cupboard. “Apparently Sans went to my apartment and got my car along with a change of clothes this morning.” You looked down at your pants irritability. “He’s grabbed the one pants that I own that’s a bit too big for me.”

“Oh.”

That lid wasn’t too high up thankfully but you were still going to have to stretch to reach it. Papyrus seemed preoccupied with his cooking so you stood on your tiptoes clumsily. You felt your sweatpants sang again but the lid was so close so you didn’t bother to pull them up. You let out a triumphant “Ha!” as you grasped it.

You could have sworn you heard someone choke and cough behind you but you were too excited to have gotten the lid that you didn’t pay it much notice. You pulled up your pants and turned back toward Papyrus. You arched an eyebrow in surprise. He had sorta been watching you as you worked but now he looked absolutely unwilling to spare a peek in your direction. Well no matter, all you had to do was put the lid on your pot and…

“Papyrus!” You shouted, dashing over. He did not respond. “Papyrus!” You shouted again. He looked up startled and you pointed to his pot. “There’s a fire!”

He looked at his pot of spaghetti which was erupting in flames. “Oh. That’s fine,” he waved nonchalantly.

“That’s fine?!” You gasped.

How did Papyrus set a pot of water on fire? You had no idea but the flames were dangerously close to spilling into both of your sauces. And you were pretty sure glitter was flammable.

He was smiling. You looked at him in astonishment and he shrugged. "I'm afraid you must not be quite up to my skill level. You see, the higher the flames, the greater the passion. So if the flames get really big - wait no no!"

Papyrus wasn't quick enough to stop you as you threw your own spaghetti water on his, dousing the flames and sending scalding hot water everywhere. He was fast enough to yank you back from the overflow of boiling liquid that poured off the oven.

You both stared at the soppy mess. Papyrus spoke first. "I'm not mad but I am disappointed with you."

You looked at him incredulously. "You're disappointed?"

Papyrus huffed slightly. "I will have to make another batch of pasta in order to demonstrate the passion of cooking."

You blinked. "You were setting the kitchen on fire!" You gasped.

"A passionate fire!"

"You could have gotten hurt," you argued.

Papyrus scoffed. "Although I appreciate your concern for my safety, I have cooked plenty of times with passion! Beside, skeletons are not particularly flammable.”

“But humans are,” you reminded. All of his protests ended rather quickly and he looked at you guiltily. You sighed and pointed to your face. “All this skin will light up faster than hay in a bonfire,” you laughed.

Your eyebrows arched in surprise as Papyrus placed a gloved hand against your face. “I forgot. I’m sorry. Although I’m sure you would make a beautiful skeleton, I would be very sad to see my friend catch on fire.” You couldn’t help but aw at the sentiment although you’re not sure if you’d be a good looking skeleton. More like a crispy one.

You realized his hand had not left your face and you both stood there awkwardly. “Uh…” you began. Papyrus cleared his throat and quickly withdrew his hand.

“Ah yes. Well I guess we better cook more pasta.”

You held up a hand. “Let’s cook some spaghetti together and split it up between the sauces.” You winked. “I’ll teach you a human way to cook without setting things on fire.”

~~~~~

After the near fire, the rest of the cooking lesson went much smoother. Unfortunately, there was no way to remove the glitter from Papyrus’ sauce so you didn’t try to suggest he strain it out. The spaghetti noodles however came out just fine and you split them up evenly between you two. When it came time to test the dishes…

You desperately tried to not make a face. You really really tried but the glitter...you never ate purple spaghetti and you hoped you never did again. Papyrus eagerly studied your features as you swallowed and gagged.

“There is no need to tell me human. Your facial expressions are clear as day,” he observed. Your shoulders sunk.

“Papyrus-,” you began.

“No, no. It is clear that monster cooking is just too intense for humans,” Papyrus sighed. “I will have to adjust my ingredients so that humans can truly appreciate my culinary skill.”

You perked up immediately. “Oh yes,” you lied, “Yes, totally. That’s it.” You pushed your dish toward him. “See, glitter can be too much for humans, so we use garlic instead.”

“I see, I see.” Papyrus took a bit of your pasta and chewed thoughtfully.

“Well? What do you think?”

Papyrus swallowed although you’re not quite sure how. “Well I can see why humans like this garlic ingredient. It is very good. Not quite the same as glitter but I see the appeal.” You let out a sigh of relief.

Thankfully Papyrus did not make you eat the rest of his spaghetti. Instead, he put it in a tupperware container for Sans. You pitied the shorter skeleton but hey, it was survival of the fittest here. And also fuck him for last night, you added as an afterthought. You were able to save some of yours for Sans as well, but it was significantly less than what Papyrus saved for Sans. You caught the taller skeleton going back for thirds on your dish which made your chest swell with pride. Your ancestors would be proud.

You checked the time. It was only around 4pm. You both washed the dishes and cleaned up the excess water you had thrown on the fire. You stretched and yawned. What a surprise that you were so tired. It was almost like you had been bound, molested, kidnapped and then nearly forced to sleep in the trunk of a car. Your bed sounded absolutely amazing. “Well, I guess I better head home,” you admitted.

Papyrus looked disappointed. “Oh, I suppose so. The cooking lesson has ended.” You reached into your bag to pull out your keys and didn’t find them.

“Damn it.”

“What’s wrong?” You paused, remembering how Sans had dawdled at your bag before he left. You swore inwardly.

“I think Sans has my keys,” you realized. You could have sworn you saw the disappointment lift briefly off of Papyrus’ face but you were too busy internally cursing Sans to be sure.

“That brother of mine. Causing trouble even when he’s not here. Would you like me to drive you home?” He offered.

“No, no. I mean, uh, if you don’t mind me hanging around until Sans comes back. I don’t want to be a bother,” you apologized. Papyrus patted you heartily on the back.

“Nonsense. I am more than happy to keep hanging out with you.” You tried to smile back but you found yourself yawning again.

“Ah, man. It’s my nap time!” you yawned, plopping yourself down on the couch in the living room.

Papyrus huffed in annoyance. “Ughh.”

You stuck out a tongue as you sat on the couch. Papyrus crossed his arms and did not sit down. “What’s wrong with napping?” You teased.

“There’s nothing less productive than naps,” Papyrus groaned, “I’m very disappointed that you engage in this habit.” You began to laugh at his indignation. “Why are you laughing? It’s bad enough Sans indulges his napping habits.”

“You don’t think I’m perfect?” You smirked. Papyrus gave you an odd look.

“Of course not.” Papyrus hesitated. “Nyeh, I’m not perfect and I work on it everyday,” he clarified, “I think you’re pretty great though.”

You’re not sure why, but the fact that Papyrus admitted that you were flawed and most definitely not perfect had you feeling absolutely elated. You closed your eyes as you leaned into the couch. You had been telling the truth when you tried to explain yourself to Jeremy. If anybody said you were perfect, then they clearly didn’t know you well enough.

“You’re really going to take a nap?” You heard Papyrus question. You opened your eyes to see the skeleton staring down at you.

“I do like to take midafternoon naps on my day offs. A lot of different human cultures do it. They’re called siestas. Like an hour power nap.”

Papyrus’ interest was piqued. “Power nap? Is this a special training nap to make you more powerful?”

You shrugged. “Sorta? I always feel much more energetic after I’ve had one.” Papyrus tapped his chin thoughtfully as you stretched once more. “Would it be alright if I took one right now? I’m pretty tired after last night,” you mumbled.

“I suppose that would be fine,” Papyrus admitted, rubbing the back of his skull at the mention of last night.

You were about to lie down when Papyrus cleared his throat again. "I'm interested in trying a power nap session."

"Are you sure?" You made sure you heard him correctly. He nodded emphatically. "Oh cool. First step, find a comfy place...so I guess come over and sit on the couch."

"Like this?" Papyrus asked, sitting next to you but not touching you.

"Yeah," you chuckled. "Second, try to get comfortable but not too comfortable otherwise you won't want to wake up."

Papyrus shifted on the couch, stretching out his legs. "This is weird," He admitted.

"You don't have to do it," you offered but he shook his head.

"It feels like I should do something else if I am going to sit here." You hesitated. You pulled out your phone and thought of an idea.

"Oh. I have Sudoku," you offered, opening up the app.

"Is that another spaghetti dish?"

"Oh no. It's a puzzle-" You didn't get a chance to explain further. Papyrus snatched your phone out of your hands and eagerly looked at it. "Don't you want to hear the rules?" You asked.

"Oh. Right. Please." You chuckled and scooted next to Papyrus, leaning in toward your phone screen.

"So the objective is that every line must have the numbers 1 through 9. But there's also these boxes that surround the numbers and all of those must not have repeating numbers either...uh. I'm not explaining it well." You apologized.

Papyrus smiled. "It is alright. I will figure it out. There's nothing that the great Papyrus cannot accomplish...but a hint might be nice if I get stuck," He admitted.

You had him start on the easiest setting where you only had to fill in a few numbers which he was able to quickly grasp and beat in a few minutes. He moved up to the next and that soon was completed as well. You had been offering advice and pointing to the screen but he really was picking up the game and you found yourself simply lying your head on his shoulder pad and watching him calmly, allowing yourself a moment to think.

Well, except for an accidental grope which he didn't seem to realize, Papyrus had not made a single move toward you. Oh, well he had caressed your cheek and called you beautiful but he seemed quite embarrassed at those actions and stopped. He really had been telling the truth when you overhead him and Sans. It had been a battle move. You guys were solely platonic. You were his imperfect friend. It seemed the only bones you would be jumping would be Sans' and that's if Pap's cooking didn't kill him. Which you were like 50% on board with happening.

Even Papyrus' excitement wasn't enough to keep you awake. His body was surprisingly warm and non bony for a skeleton. You snuggled into him unconsciously but he didn’t seem to mind, confirming your theory. You hadn't been kidding when you said you were tired and could feel yourself drifting off to sleep once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that could have gone a bit better. But hey, the kitchen's intact and we get some well deserved rest even though it's on a much less positive note than how she woke up this morning.
> 
> Oh well! HEY IT'S TOBY! That's good, right?
> 
> Expect next chapter to be a mini chapter from Pap's POV.
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
>   
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> 
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> 
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die) There's also some Chapter 4 in here.  
> 


	20. Mini Chapter: Play by Play Hang out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another mini chapter from our favorite skelly's POV!
> 
> Before we begin, we have our first fanart!!!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)
> 
> Zully has drawn Lori from a few scenes of Must Love Animals (Spoiler!) and I absolutely love it!
> 
> If anyone else feels like drawing anything from Must Love Animals, please share it and I link to you as well!  
> Now without further ado, the second mini chapter!

Papyrus eagerly tapped numbers into the blank white spots as he worked his way through this level of Sudoku. He was on a level currently nicknamed Child’s Play and it was much easier than he thought. With each level passed, his confidence level began to grow. 

You had been offering advice but your voice had trailed off a while ago. Papyrus realized you had gone silent when he started to reach the medium difficulty Sudokus. “The puzzles are becoming more difficult,” he observed out loud. When you didn’t respond to his comment, he glanced curiously at you and held his breath.

You had fallen asleep against him. He sighed. You must have been tired afterall. He wanted to be annoyed with you for falling asleep without telling him but he couldn’t muster up any irritation. You looked so content. Plus your body felt pretty good against him. He felt his cheekbones color orange again at that last thought. 

Last night was wow. Just so wow to him. And he had no idea how to put it in words what exactly happened. It had pained him to tell Sans that it was nothing and it made him feel absolutely wretched that you had heard him. But until he actually had words for it, he really had nothing to say. 

Papyrus had honestly been surprised that you would wanted to commence the hang out. He was almost positive that you would have wanted to leave shortly after his statements but even now you were still here. Had the hang out been that much of a success?

Well there were a few things that could have gone better now that he thought about it. For one, the “my human” slip. Papyrus was glad to see you did not react when he accidentally called you this when he was addressing the onion. He hadn’t meant to call you his. You were his friend, sure, but his human had an odd feeling to it he couldn’t really place. Like an ownership type of thing. 

He had once fantasized about owning a pet human when he was very little before he met Undyne but now he had no such desires. At least, he didn’t think he did. He found himself shifting nervously. If he did keep you as a pet, he wondered what type of pet you would be. No doubt something soft and cuddly but you'd probably bite or scratch or at least kick. Would you scratch the furniture too or just him? He felt his chest tingling at the thoughts. This was drifting into territory he wasn’t comfortable thinking about while you were here. 

Papyrus quickly skipped ahead in analyzing the hang out as the image of you wearing a collar made his skull swim. Relief! Yes relief! He felt relieved when you had safely vanquished the onion and tossed it into the frying pan. But then you started acting oddly around the weird vegetable. The garlic or whatever you called it was the most peculiar of the items you used. The way you almost seemed to lapse into a daze around it and whisper things to it that you thought he couldn’t hear had been unsettling but he resolved not to say anything. It wasn’t that he found it creepy. Far from it. Papyrus would be lying if he did not admit to talking to and encouraging himself and shouting encouragement while training. You seemed to be whispering uh, possibly romantic things to the garlic. Something about lying in a bed surrounded by it which made his cheekbones blush. There was that nervous tingle in his chest again so he moved on to other parts of the date. He meant hang out. 

So Sans had gone to your apartment afterall. The thought of Sans alone in your apartment made him pause but he shrugged it off and clicked to the next level. The fact that Sans got up early for once without him having to bang on the door was impressive. Perhaps you could provide a good influence to Sans. Of course, no one was as good of an influence as the Great Papyrus, but you could easily be a close second if you stayed over more often.

He should probably advise Sans to pick out more appropriate clothing if he was going to keep bringing you clothes. You had seemed very displeased with the selection of pants especially when you were trying to get that lid. Loose pants could make a guard fall while performing his duties which was dangerous. He had turned to inform you about the danger of loose clothing when he caught sight of your pants sliding down slightly, revealing black lace-. 

No, no, no! He had turned away quickly when he spotted whatever that was. You must definitely had not wanted him to see that! He forced himself to look everywhere but at you. Of course he had to set his cooking on fire at that exact moment. That was embarrassing. He hadn’t planned to set fire to his food dish for another 5 minutes or so. He would have to inform Undyne that he prematurely ignited again which always made her laugh although really he didn’t see why she found premature ignition so funny. It could happen to any monster especially if he was under a lot of stress to perform.

A notification popped up on your phone and he blinked in surprise. “New text message from Jeremy,” he read out loud softly. Papyrus cocked his head at the notification in surprise. “That name sounds so familiar...OH!” he remembered. Jeremy. That was the human you had gone on two dates with. He felt something tighten in his chest as he studied the notification. What did the other human want? Your phone did not preview the message but instead presented him with two options. Open or Ignore. He glanced at you and saw that his comments did not wake you up so he focused his attention back to your phone.

He could open the message, read it and mark it unread or say he opened it on accident in case you woke up. The dishonest snooping plan left a bitter taste in his mouth and he made a “bleh” expression. No, he would not do it. He was Papyrus and your friend. Friends did not read their friends’ texts unless they wanted you to. You had entrusted him with your phone to play puzzles on and that’s all he was going to do. He pressed ignore and returned to Sudoku. 

Papyrus continued to try out numbers, being careful not to jostle you now that he remembered you were asleep. You let out another soft noise and he felt his breathing stop for a second as his spine tingled once more. He swiveled his head a bit in order to look at your face. He caught a glimpse of your pink lips and memories from last night once again flooded his cranium. 

He had never kissed another monster before and his first kiss was with a human? Mettaton had joked that if Papyrus hadn’t gotten kissed soon, he would kiss him himself but it looked like that would be unnecessary at this point. The skeleton beamed with pride as he remembered that you had been impressed with his style. You even told him that he was “going to blow some lucky girl’s mind”. He frowned slightly. 

But...he didn’t know any other girls. Well, he knew Toriel, Undyne and Alphys, but he didn’t think he could/would kiss them. Especially like he kissed you. And if he did kiss another female, would he have the same reaction? And did it matter if the female was a monster or a human?

Did he even want to kiss other females? That thought startled him and he shifted slightly. You thankfully didn’t wake up. Papyrus looked at your sleeping form. An odd thought crept into his mind. Maybe...maybe he should kiss you again. Just to see if he got the same reaction. It felt good to both of you so why not just lean in and push against your soft lips once more?

He shook his head roughly. "Nyeh! I couldn't do that," He admitted to himself. It wouldn't be right to kiss you while you were sleeping, even though he was pretty sure you would not have woken up. He sat there conflicted for a moment before he resolved to just keep using your phone. 

The sound of a door opening made him look up. "hey pap i'm home " He heard his brother call out. You stirred softly but did not wake up, much to his relief. Sans popped his head into the living room when Papyrus did not respond. “pap?” 

“Shh,” Papyrus shushed his brother loudly. Sans’s smile broadened as he spotted your position.

“heh, nice. you captured a human afterall.” Sans winked at him. Papyrus felt his cheeks color at the comment and his sockets darted back to your figure. 

“She fell asleep and I don’t want to wake her up,” Papyrus mumbled. Sans gave you a look over and whistled. You certainly did appear exhausted to the shorter skeleton. Your position against Papyrus gave Sans a good view of your body as you shifted softly. He eagerly noticed that your sweatpants had started to sag again and expose the black thong he had picked out this morning. The shorter skeleton felt his own spine warm at the sight. 

Sans mentioned none of this to Papyrus but instead tucked his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. He was much better at hiding his “interest” than his younger brother. “when is she heading home?” he asked nonchalantly, rocking and forth in his slippers. 

Papyrus’ face fell. “Well, actually, when you got back...but...she does look awfully tired right?” Sans nodded, winking at his brother. Papyrus cleared his throat. “I’m not a bad host. I will make sure she has eaten and rested before she heads home,” he announced definitely. 

“sure thing bro.” 

“Which reminds me, the human and I left you some food in the fridge,” Papyrus offered. 

“oof. I actually ate at grillby’s on the way home.”

“Ugh, Sans.”

“i got an idea, i’ll try her leftovers and send yours home with her.”

Papyrus’ sockets narrowed suspiciously at Sans. “Why don’t you want to eat my pasta?”

Sans’s grin never faltered. “well gee pap, i’m lucky to have your cooking all the time. don’t you think i should share my good fortune with her?” 

“Ah, yes, I see. That is very generous of you Sans,” Papyrus responded, smiling trustingly at Sans. He turned his attention back to you and missed the mischievous grin that lit up his brother’s face. 

“sorry kid. survival of the fittest here,” he snickered. 

“Did you say something?” 

“you think she would want to watch mettaton’s show with you? it comes on pretty soon, i think,” Sans suggested. 

Papyrus’ face lighted up. “Oh! That would be wonderful!” He exclaimed. 

“Huh, what?” You yawned, slowly shaking yourself awake. Papyrus froze up, his words catching in his throat. Why did he shout? 

“You-you fell asleep,” Papyrus explained as you blinked sleepily. 

“Oh, did Sans get back?” You asked, sitting up slightly. 

“Ye-no?” Papyrus corrected himself as he glanced toward Sans only to see that the short skeleton had disappeared.

“Oh cool, cool, let me know when he gets here,” you mumbled, yawning and plopping your head onto his lap. 

“L-Lori!” Papyrus gasped, the sudden heat and weight from your head turning his legs to jelly. Why was this happening to him? 

“Hmm, what?” You asked, stretching your arms and tucking them under your cheek, “Has it been an hour?” He had wrestled plenty of times with Undyne and other monsters and never once did any of their touches have such the profound effect that yours did. 

Papyrus had no idea. “Maybe,” he offered, trying not to focus on his rapidly beating soul. 

You picked up a strangeness in Papyrus’ voice and forced yourself to rise off your warm, comfy pillow. Except that it wasn’t a pillow. The sleepiness dulled your surprise at having plopped yourself down in his lap. You shrugged and yawned again, resolving not to make a big deal out of it. “Sorry Papyrus,” you chuckled, “I didn’t realize that skeletons were so soft.”

“Ah, yes. Thank you,” Papyrus gratefully answered you as the heat began to dissipate. As the sleep left your eyes, you blinked wearily around. 

“I guess Sans won’t come back for a while huh? Think I should head out?” You asked. 

Papyrus quickly shook his head. “I was wondering if you would be interested in watching Mettaton’s show with me?”

“Isn’t that the famous monster everyone is talking about?” 

“Yes! He is so popular!” Papyrus cheered. You swore you could see stars in his sockets at the mention of Mettaton. 

“That’s cool. Is he an actor or something?” 

“Yes! And a news anchor and a chef and a show host and a model and a-” 

You held up your hands. “Woah woah woah. I get it. He’s pretty famous.” 

“Have you watched him before?”

“No, I don’t have cable,” you admitted. Papyrus squealed in delight and seized you tightly around the shoulders. 

“I shall enlighten you to his sexy wonderfulness!”

“Did you say...sexy wonderfulness?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Mettaton! The sexiest rectangle we know!
> 
> Papyrus has integrity, dammit! But Sans is still scheming something, hopefully nothing too diabolical for our reader...What do you think he's got up his sleeve?


	21. Blankets are Handy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Fanart from the awesome Zully! Hurrah! If you haven't already checked her out, please do so! :D
> 
>  
> 
> <http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die>  
> 
> 
> You see those tags up there? We're going to start using them now. So fair warning on that.  
> Same warning as before. When you see the ***, we're entering NSFW territory until the *** stops

Did he just say sexy wonderfulness? You kinda stood there in stumped surprise as he dropped you back to the couch. He grabbed the remote off the table as you shook your head. You laughed at Papyrus’ excitement as he fumbled with the remote with his gloves. He seemed determined not to strip them off so it took a minute for him to get the TV on.

The screen flashed a multitude of bright, seizure inducing colors as you heard an odd pop music blare. You almost winced at the volume but Papyrus didn’t seem to mind so you grinned and bore it. To your surprise, a metal robot box rolled onto screen with fireworks and explosions trailing it as it wheeled to center stage.

“There he is!” Papyrus shrieked happily, pointing eagerly to the screen.

You blinked in surprise. “The robot? That metal rectangle is Mettaton?” You asked astounded. Papyrus nodded. “Huh,” you wondered. “I wasn’t expecting him to look like that.”

“I know!! He’s so beautiful!” Papyrus breathed. You felt an odd twinge in your chest at those words.

“Oh heh heh, I guess?” Papyrus continued to watch the robot twirl and dance to a large studio audience and you felt yourself observing Papyrus’ reaction than the monster host.

Well...this explained a few things. If this was Papyrus’ epitome of beauty then uh, you were, to put it lightly, hideous. Had it been racist for you to assume that he would possibly be interested in humans just because you both shared similar base anatomies? You stole another glance at Papyrus who almost had stars in his eyes. Wow. You shifted nervously. If you thought about it, it made more sense for Papyrus to fawn over a metallic monster than a fleshy human. Skeletons and robots did not have fleshy parts!

You clenched. Oh my God. What if every time you touched him, he wasn’t getting nervous because he liked it but rather he was actually grossed out that your fleshy bits were touching his clean bones? And you weren’t even that gorgeous of a fleshy creature, er you mean human. Ughhhh, this was so embarrassing to think about. You were so caught up in your own thoughts that you hardly realized the additional presence into the room until they placed a hand on your shoulder from behind. You looked backwards to see Sans grinning down at you.

“H-hi Sans!” You greeted, breaking your train of thought.

“hey kid. pap got you hooked on mettaton?” Sans asked, pointing to the television.

“I’m trying!” Papyrus insisted, refusing to tear his sockets away from the screen.

“Do you like Mettaton too?” You asked.

Sans seemed to wince. “eh. he’s alright. pap’s more of a fan than me. i kinda find the dude a little tacky.” You realized slowly that Sans’ hand still rested on your shoulder and you glanced curiously at it. You looked back at Sans who seemed to be smiling at you strangely.

“Sans, if you’re just going to complain, then you are welcome to leave,” Papyrus scowled, waving a hand in Sans’ general direction. Why was he still holding on to you?

Sans shrugged. “i think i’ll stick around and watch with you guys.” Papyrus turned away from the television to stare at his brother in shock.

“Are you serious?” Papyrus gaped. You observed the two brothers. You could guess that Sans willingly wanting to watch Mettaton was a rare circumstance. You couldn’t imagine why the change until you felt his hand tiptoe to her neck and give out a discreet caress. Oh.

“yeah. maybe i can get a feel for this,” he smirked as his thumb nudged your earlobe. OH! You shot Sans a dirty look but he maintained his chill demeanor. He had mentioned that he was interested in your fleshiness but was he really going to try to get you going right next to his brother?

Papyrus remained oblivious. “Come! Come! Sit next to the human!” He gestured.

“heh, don’t mind if i do,” Sans chuckled, his phalanges leaving your body. You trembled at the withdrawal of stimulation and he glanced innocently at you. “you’re looking a bit cold. want a blanket?” he offered. You nodded, realizing you did feel slightly cold without the warmth of Papyrus who had scooted away from you. Geez. You really had been barking up the wrong tree on this one. Heck, for all you knew Papyrus could have totally been gay and your advances probably confused him. Which would add even more awkwardness.

***

Sans walked around the couch and flopped next to you. Your arousal began to fade as Sans leaned forward to grab blanket off the table. Yeah, you were just being a pervert you told yourself. Sans draped the blanket over your front and you tucked yourself in under it snugly. There was no way in hell that Sans would...would...oh no.

Sans skeletal fingers darted underneath your blanket and resumed their earlier position on your neck, working their way down toward your chest. You opened your mouth to say something to Sans but his blue eye glinted dangerously at you and you quickly shut your mouth. “so what’s mettaton cooking today?” Sans asked as his hands began to fondle the top of your chest.

“He hasn’t said yet.” Papyrus informed. Your eyes darted worriedly over to the taller skeleton but he appeared none the wiser. You tried to envision your situation. You were sandwiched between the skeleton brothers, Papyrus on your right and Sans on your left. Papyrus had both of his hands clasped together as he intently watched the screen. Sans’ right arm had snuck around your back and was molesting your right breast, his fingers finding your nipple and pinching it gently. The blanket had strategically been pulled up to your chin, allowing Sans mostly discreet access to your body. Although if Papyrus actually paid attention, he would most assuredly realize something was amiss. But you no longer had his attention now, did you?

Regardless, you bit your lip and with your right hand, tried to swat Sans’ hand away. His eye flickered blue once more and your resisting hand dropped besides you. Your eyes widened in shock as you tried to lift it back up only for to remain still at your side. Did he just use his magic against you? The smirk on his face confirmed your fears as you felt your cheeks begin to color. He knew what this did to you and you could feel your back arch to force more of your nipple into his fingertips at the restraint.

“SANS!” Papyrus yelled and your blood ran cold. Sans froze. Fuck! Had you been caught? “He’s making croissants!” Papyrus cheerfully exclaimed, his eyes remaining glued to the television. Oh my god. Relief flooded your body and spurred Sans onward.

“Ah!” You gasped out as Sans gave your breast a hard squeeze.

“I’m glad you are enjoying this as well!” Papyrus smiled, patting you on the head before returning his hands to the front of his chest. You still couldn’t move your arm. Your arousal was pounding in your chest. Everywhere his skeletal fingers raked against you, you could feel your skin tingle and burn. You wondered if this was also magic based but your mind was too hazy to tell. You squirmed, feeling yourself becoming wet with arousal and continued to bite your lip to hold back any moans.

Sans dug his fingers underneath your sweat pants, fingering the lacy texture of your thong. He loved how you squirmed, your leg pressing into his own unconsciously. He felt only slightly guilty that he had to use his magic to freeze your hand but even Papyrus would realize something was up if he allowed you to fight him. Oh how much he wanted to hear you scream and moan instead, but this was not the time. There would be another opportunity for you to use both of your hands with him but for now, he enjoyed teasing you.

“What does he mean by dusted?” Sans heard you pant suddenly. The question came out of nowhere to the short skeleton and he stopped pushing down your thong.

“huh?”

Papyrus rolled his eyes. “Really Sans, were you even paying attention?” Sans blinked in confusion and chuckled.

“sorry. sometimes i’m known to have a thick skull,” he winked. He resumed his ministrations, feeling the wetness of your sex on the thong. You panted next to him, your tongue threatening to loll out like a dog.

Papyrus groaned and explained. “Well what you missed is that Mettaton was warning us that most accidents in the home happen in the kitchen. We need to be careful because if we injure ourselves trying to repeat the stunts he is performing, we could be dusted.” Papyrus actually looked away from the screen to watch you. “If a monster dies, their body turns to dust,” Papyrus informed you.

“Ohh,” you gasped as Sans’ finger brushed your entrance. What type of croissant was Mettaton making that could cause severe bodily injury and death? You barely had an opportunity to mull over this information. Sans was unrelenting in his assault, even with his brother now watching you. Somehow the shorter skeleton maintained the same time facial expression but you could spot a blue tinge faintly color his cheeks. His leg pressed up roughly against your thigh. How far was this going to go? The teasing was driving you nuts.

You nearly jumped as a gloved hand pressed against your forehead. Your flustered face quickly turned and came face to face with Papyrus. He looked very concerned. “Eh, human,” he seemed to be choosing his words carefully, “Are you having the weird feeling?”

Sans appeared to shift slightly at Pap’s words but you had a much more profound reaction. Your eyes widened and you squeaked in surprise at the question. “Uh uh uh” you stammered, trying not to meet the taller skeleton’s gaze. Papyrus studied you and looked back at the television as Mettaton posed on top of the counter top while his assistants baked.

***

“Is Mettaton making you feel weird?” He asked. His brother immediately burst into laughter and brought both of his skeletal hands out from under the blanket to hold his stomach. You clamped your mouth shut. Papyrus humphed. “Really now? Playing the silent game? This is immature. We are both adults.”

Papyrus gritted his teeth and you opted not to make eye contact as you tried to bury your arousal. What were you going to tell him: Oh yeah, sorry Papyrus, you were too busy to really pay attention to the show because you were trying to get it on with his older brother next to you? You barely acknowledged Papyrus getting off the couch until a sudden click drew your attention back to him.

“pap,” Sans asked cautiously, “did you just turn off the television?”

Papyrus humphed again. “I most certainly did.”

“but mettaton was on,” Sans blinked.

“I’m aware of that.” Papyrus focused on you and you shrank into the couch slightly. He sighed and spoke, “I’m going to get you a glass of water. When I come back, I would like to talk with you.” You and Sans looked at Papyrus in surprise as the taller skeleton stood up stiffly and walked toward the kitchen.

You could feel your whole body burning up the minute Papyrus left the living room. Talk with you? Shit. Shit. Anxiety tainted your arousal and your mind raced to think of a plan. Run. You stood up immediately, pulling your sweat pants up. “I have to go,” you gasped.

Sans watched you nervously. This wasn’t going according to plan at all. “hey it’s alright. just relax,” he tried to suggest.

But you were having none of it. Humiliation wracked your entire body. Your normally somewhat rational train of thought derailed as magic enhanced arousal made your feelings volatile. You were not thinking clearly but you didn’t care. Papyrus thought you were a freak and Sans was just toying with your fetishes. The house felt suffocating to you. You had to leave. You darted over and grabbed your bag and keys which laid nearby. Sans jumped up and raised a hand toward you.

“I need to go home,” you said urgently and Sans let his hand drop. You ran to the door but paused at the door. “I’m sorry, Sans. I’m a fucked up human. I’m sorry. Tell Papyrus I’m sorry, please,” you begged. Sans nodded slowly. A few seconds later, you were in your car, already peeling out of the driveway and driving away into the night.

~~~~~

Papyrus was just filling up a glass of water when he heard the front door slam and the sound of tires peeling against the road. He cocked his head in confusion at the sound and turned off the faucet. “Lori? Sans? Is everything okay?” He called out. When he didn’t get an answer, he walking out carefully.

Sans stood in the living room, his back to the television. Papyrus glanced around but there was no sign of you. “Sans, where’s the human?” He asked.

“uh she left pap,” Sans answered awkwardly.

Papyrus almost dropped his glass. “WHAT?! WHY?!” He exclaimed in shock. He began to search around the room, hoping Sans was mistaken. “Why did she leave? Did I say something?”

“no you didn’t. i think i did.” Sans sighed. Papyrus stared at him in disbelief. “i made a joke and it wasn’t a good one and i think she just wanted to go home.”

“So she just left?”

“she said she was sorry. i guess she felt bad about what happened,” Sans answered. Papyrus placed the glass of water down and began to walk quickly toward the front door. “papyrus what are you doing?”

“I’m going to talk to her,” Papyrus answered, “I don’t want her to feel that she is a bad friend.” Sans quickly caught Papyrus’ arm before the skeleton could grab his own keys.

“pap, trust me, it’s pretty late. i’ll go out and talk to her okay? i don’t want you trying to drive when you’re emotional.”

Papyrus huffed. “I’m not emotional. I’m very calm!” He argued. Sans gave him a hard look and the skeleton faltered. “I guess. If you think that’s best.”

Sans smiled warmly. “thanks pap. i’ll see you later.”

~~~~~

You pulled into the parking lot and yanked the keys out of your ignition. Even the drive home did nothing to quell your mish mash of emotions. You looked at yourself in the car mirror and growled. “You’re such a fucking freak!” You yelled at your reflection. Now that you were out of their house, you had a moment to ponder this out of character outburst on your part.

You were never this hysterical you realized as you opened the car door, grabbed your shit and slammed it shut. Had Sans’ magic done this to you? Perhaps. It’s the only thing that made sense. It must have triggered something within you that you had either buried or cursed out and then buried.

You stomped loudly to your apartment and reached the base of the stairs before spotting a glint of metal in the shadows underneath the stairs. It looked like your pepper spray. You quickly grabbed it and confirmed it. Yes, this was yours alright. “At least one thing is going alright,” you muttered angrily to yourself. You ascended the stairs until you got to the door and began to unlock it.

“hey kid-.” Your fight response slammed you immediately. You turned around and fired the pepper spray only to watch in surprise as your assailant quickly dodged to the side. “heh did you really think-?”

The second spritz got him.

Your eyes widened back as Sans stumbled back from you, pulling his hoodie down. “FUCK!” You yelled.

Your neighbor’s door opened and Kaylie popped out. “Lori are you - did you mace another monster?!?!” She demanded.

“Yes, fuck.” You swore, looking at Sans nervously. “Hey Sans, shit, sorry dude, are you okay?” He didn’t answer and a pit started to form in your stomach. “Sans?”

“Hey, he doesn’t looks so good,” Kaylie murmured, coming closer. You grabbed one of Sans’ hands trying to get his attention but he yanked it away from you with a shudder. There was something left on your fingers from having touched the skeleton. It had a grainy texture to it.

Your eyes widened. It was dust. “FUCKING SHIT SANS!!” You shrieked, realizing the seriousness of the situation. How the fuck did Sans have such little defenses?! You had to stop the burning. The longer you waited, the more it would ebb away at San’s rapidly depleting health.

“GET THE MILK!!!” Kaylie screamed after you as you yanked the skeleton off his feet and into your apartment. You grabbed the milk from the fridge and dragged Sans to the shower. He was breathing heavily and you could feel more dust fall off of him. You had to neutralize the pepper spray. You tossed him in the tub and put the shower head on full blast, sending down a torrent of water on the hooded figure.

“Sans! Open your eyes!” You yelled at him, lifting up the jug of milk. He didn’t budge. “I’m not going to let you turn to dust!” You yelled, jumping into the tub with him. You were not going to let this stupid bastard die. You tossed back his hood and proceeded to dunk his face in a gallon of milk. “You stupid smiling motherfucker!!” You cried, dropping the empty canister to the ground and grabbing his shoulders.

He-he didn’t appear to be dusting anymore. You pulled a hand off and ran your fingers along the palm of your hand to be sure, but there was no dust. You were somehow grateful that you had pepper sprayed Papyrus first because that had allowed you to learn how to quickly stop the effects of your aerosolized attack. If the situation had been reversed...well you didn’t want to think about that.

“Oh my god, Sans, you scared the shit out of me,” you gasped, pulling the skeleton into a quick tight hug. “I’m so so sorry,” you apologized, letting him go and staring into his face. Your heart stopped. Literally.

You couldn’t move. Your hands remained frozen to your sides. You couldn’t even curl a toe. “S-sans?” You stammered, “What are you doing?”

Sans’s head rose to make eye contact with you and you could see a violently flickering blue and yellow eyeball glaring into your very soul. To your horror, Sans' relaxed smile had been replaced by something much more malicious and sinister. "Sans, I'm sorry." You gasped, feeling your chest clench. You couldn't breath.

"heh, looks like you’re going to have a bad time," he spoke in an unnaturally dark voice, raising his arm.

You screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...  
>  I may lose some of you after the next chapter. Hopefully not.  
> Next chapter will be admittedly shorter and completely NSFW. Draw your own conclusions...and then feel free to share them below! :D
> 
> *** = Sans proceeds to grope and molest you while you attempt to watch television with Pap. He uses magic against you.


	22. A Bad Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...sigh...
> 
> Entire chapter is NSFW. You can probably guess why. You see that main warning up there? Good.  
> Same rules = *** = nsfw starts. Look for the next *** to see when it ends.
> 
> Edit: So, this chapter might be a bit different than what you remember me writing before. My partner in crime (my husband) and I talked about and he and I both came to the conclusion that we could tell an even better story on a compromise.

***

Your eyes widened and you began to scream, "Kayl-!" His arm shot forward and you found yourself slammed into the wall of your bathroom. Pain shot up your spine and you gasped at the sensation. You caught a glimpse of yourself in your surprisingly unbroken mirror and saw a blue haze completely encasing your body. Sans stepped out of the tub, glaring through you, you realized. 

Why was he attacking you? Holy shit! Holy shit! Were you going to die?! Did you trigger some form of fight or flight response in him?! He didn’t even look like he knew who you were. The sensation of gravity failing seized you once more and you braced yourself. He levitated you out of the bathroom and slammed you into the hallway now. 

"Sans!!" You shrieked. You struggled against your invisible bindings but it felt like you were fighting against iron chains. He tittered at you. "It's me!! Lori!" You desperately screamed as you felt your chest clench up again in preparation for another toss. You were slung against your bedroom door, the door crashing down to the ground with the impact. With your mind seeing stars, you didn’t have enough control and let out a loud moan at your continued restraint.

Your body had betrayed you. Your heart which had beat manically out of fear was now pumping blood to the more sensitive areas of your body as you twisted helplessly against the magic. God, you knew you were going to die but this, this sensation of helplessness was intoxicating. You tried to roll your hips but could only grunt and moan uselessly without a way to release your involuntary arousal. You looked toward Sans. 

Recognition, or at least that's what you hoped, flickered in Sans’ eye sockets and for a moment you hoped he would remember you. But he advanced upon you once more as something garish white and lethal looking appeared behind him, aiming at your chest. You screamed. This was the end. You were going to die. 

There was a sudden flash and you were on your bed. Sans loomed over you, eyeing you greedily as you struggled to get off the bed but to no avail. Skeletal fingers descended upon you and roughly seized your breasts, squeezing and pressing the mounds hard enough to make you gasp sharply. 

You stared into his face with muted apprehension as his digits continued to grope your chest through your shirt. Your fear was palpable as one of his hands traced your jugular vein. He glanced down toward your sweatpants. You didn't like where this was going and began to struggle against the blue magic holding you down as he seemed to consider his next step. 

His other hand left your breasts and began to descend. You growled. Maybe you would have been receptive to this had this mother fucker didn't just try to kill you 30 seconds earlier. His hand rested upon the band of your sweatpants when the sound of a goofy ringtone made you both freeze. You eyed the hand on your neck as his descending hand reached inside his hoodie to fish his phone out. Maybe you could bite him?

Sans pulled out the phone and stared at it in confusion. Something seemed to register within him as he looked at the contact because the blue magic began to fade. He was starting to blink and look around in confusion. You grinned. Now was your chance! You took this opportunity to bite his hand closest to your face.

Oh my god. That was a bad idea. You whined and released the skeletal fingers. “Holy crap! That hurt!!” You cried, “I think I broke a tooth.” A deep chuckle caught your attention and you looked up to see Sans looking down at you. Looks like your attempt to escape only managed to secure his attention again. Rage clouded your filtering and you spat at him. “Don't laugh at me. You think you can do better?!”

“heh to tell you the tooth, i think i could,” he purred. With that, he descended with a feral snarl to your neck. 

Teeth. You felt teeth on your neck. Suddenly his pun about teeth had a much more dangerous meaning. "Sans!! No!" You gasped, your arms shot out to push him off. God it was like pushing a rock but you managed to put some distance between his fangs and your sensitive neck before he could put pressure into the bite. He glared at you and you realized he had regained the same unfocused expression you had spotted in the shower. 

His glare caught you off guard and you felt an ethereal appendage wrap around your wrists and try to pull your arms above your head. You desperately latched onto his hoodie in an attempt to stop your arms’ ascent. The sound of fabric ripping made you both freeze. Sans slowly swiveled his head to observe the noise and stared mutely at the ripped clothing.

You blinked. You had ripped a large hole in his jacket. You could see his menacing smile falter slightly at the damage to his beloved hoodie. You had a shot. "Man, Sans I know your bro doesn't like your hoodie but I didn’t think it was tearable!" You held your breath and watched his facial expression. 

A snort erupted from the skeleton and he shook slightly, trying to suppress what could be either laughter or rage. You were hoping it was the former. You looked hopefully up at him and could see him partially returning back to his senses. "heh, nice one kid. but let someone like me deal the punishment around here," he chuckled. He yanked your arms upwards roughly and lunged for your neck before finally biting you. 

"No! Sans!!" You shrieked. You couldn't think of any more jokes as you panicked. Tears stung your eyes as you tried one last idea. "Blue stop sign! Blue stop sign!" you cried as you felt his teeth begin to sink into your soft flesh. 

The pressure against your neck stopped almost instantly. You could feel Sans retract his head from your neck and you looked up at him gratefully. The blue pupil was fading and white confused pricks began to come into focus. He shook his head slowly before looking down at your trapped form. He looked at you, appearing bewildered by your position underneath him. “why are you…?” His sockets went wide with horror as he convulsed with the realization of what had transpired. The ectoplasmic magic dissolved from existence and you quickly brought your hands to your neck. There was no blood. You let out a sigh of relief at finding the skin unbroken although you were sure there would be some bruising at the site. 

"lori, lori," you heard Sans exhale shakily, "what did i do to you?"

“We almost had sex?” You tried to say.

“then why do i feel wrong,” Sans pressed warily.

You groaned. “Sans…”

“what did i do?”

“You tried to rape me.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** = Sans attempts to kill you. He sexually assaults you instead (although it's not rape).  
> Sans comes back mentally but holy shit, what to do now?


	23. A Profane Fallout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans owes you an explanation.
> 
> (I have rewritten and reworded this particular chapter so many times. Hopefully I got it right...but if you do decide to throw things at me in outrages, please let it be tomatoes because I want to make marinara sauce)
> 
> Edit:   
> This chapter has been updated to reflect the personal choices my partner in crime (my husband) and I discussed for Sans to only inappropriately touch Lori and not engage in the actual rape (Granted, it's still a bad thing, but I think I can make this compromise in order to improve the story even better)

Papyrus paced the living room. It had been nearly an hour and there was no word from neither you nor Sans. He glanced at the time again. Technically it had been 53 minutes but that was close enough to an hour for his comfort level. He went to pick up his phone to dial you but stopped himself. He instead dialed Sans. The phone rang and rang before finally going to voicemail. Papyrus put the phone back down.

“You are worrying over nothing. I’m sure Sans found Lori okay,” he told himself. He placed the phone back down and smiled. “I’m sure that they’re just sitting down, having a cup of team. Laughing about what good friends we’re all going to be.” He relaxed back onto the couch and turned the television back on. “Yes, I’m sure I’m worrying about nothing.” 

~~~~~

“MOTHERFUCKER!!!!”

Sans ducked back down as a phone charger sailed right over his head. “lori! i’m so sorry for forcing myself on you!” Sans began to apologize. He risked another glance in your direction only to quickly drop again behind the safety of your now propped up bedroom door just in time for a pillow to bounce off his makeshift shield.

“FUCK FORCING YOURSELF ON ME! YOU THINK I’M MAD ABOUT THAT?!!” 

Sans blinked in confusion. “uh, yes?” 

This time a medical dictionary catapulted toward him and he hit the deck. He peeked through the keyhole of your door while he lay on the ground to get another look at you. You were still on your bed, grabbing anything that was within your limited reach to use as a projectile weapon. “I WANT A FUCKING EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!!” 

“i did what?” 

“AND DON’T SAY IT’S A MONSTER REFLEX! BECAUSE I SPRAYED YOUR BROTHER TOO AND HE DID NOT TRY TO MURDER ME!!” 

“you did what?!”

Oh fuck. You yelled unintelligibly as you turned around on the bed to grab a larger book to toss at him. When you turned around, Sans was immediately kneeling in front of you on the bed. “AGH! FUCK! SMILING MAGICAL TELEPORTING MOTHER FUCKER!” You screamed in surprise as you fell back on your butt. You held up the textbook defensively over yourself and attempted to kick. You were unsuccessful. 

“lori, please i need you to calm down,” Sans begged. 

“GIVE ME ONE GODDAMN REASON TO CALM DOWN!” You demanded, peddling your feet in the air like an upside down turtle. You tried to toss the book at him.

Sans caught the weak throw and jumped on you. You opened your mouth to allow more profanity to spew forth but he placed a skeletal hand over your mouth. You glared up at the skeleton as you struggled against his surprisingly heavier form. You went to bite his fingers again but hesitated. You almost broke a tooth that way. Before you could think of something else, his next words made you freeze. “i don’t remember anything after you attacked me.” Your eyes widened in alarm and he gently removed his hand. “sorry.”

What did he mean he didn’t remember anything after you sprayed him? You started at his skull for some tell of deception but the haunted expression in his sockets tugged at you to believe him. “What do you mean?” 

Sans sighed. “i remember dodging once but then you attacked again right after and then...nothing. the next thing that i know, we were in the bedroom.”

You stared at him. Now something was off about his statement. He didn’t look at you. He shifted as he spoke. He was lying. “Bullshit.”

“excuse me?”

“You’re lying. You remember something,” you cooly observed. He hesitated. You pushed more. “Seriously, who the fuck did you think you were attacking?” 

“someone else,” Sans admitted.

“Who?”

Sans didn’t answer. A sardonic smile grew on his face. “someone who took everything away from me over and over again until i finally turned to dust.”

“That is really fucking cryptic. How about a name or a description or…?”

“i was reliving a nightmare of an time that never happened,” Sans chuckled humorlessly as he rubbed a spot over his chest. 

You rubbed your head. You resisted the urge to tell him off for the jedi mumbo jumbo. He seemed completely enveloped in whatever memory that had been conjured up during your attack. “You..felt like you were back in the past?”

“you could say that.”

“And it wasn’t a good past?”

“it was a genocide,” Sans offered. Well...you could add that word to the list of vocabulary you never wanted to hear post coital. 

You shrugged. “Okay, I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest you have PTSD.” 

“gesundheit.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” You groaned. “PTSD stands for post traumatic stress disorder. I’m a bit hazy on the medical reasoning behind it, but basically it’s a condition people develop where they undergo something very traumatic in the past. And then, even years later, something can trigger this memory and the person feels like they’re back in the past and they’ll react accordingly.” 

Sans allowed himself a low whistle. “that sounds pretty close.”

“Want to talk about it?” 

“nah.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? I’m very interested in knowing what type of situation you were in where you tried to kill and then fuck the person you were trying to kill.”

Sans chuckled at the accusation. “kid, i didn’t try to sleep with them.” 

“Then why, uh well,” you gestured to yourself, “why did you…?”

The skeleton coughed nervously at that. “ah. yeah. funny thing i’ve learned about turning to dust… a lot of those voices in your head that tell you what you should and should not do...well they get really quiet when you’re dying. and when i realized it was you, moaning and squirming in front me after all this time i’ve been wanting to taste and ravish you...well…”

“Oh god, no. I get it,” you blushed darkly.

Sans shot you a wry grin. “let’s just say you look real good covered in my magic.”

You scored a kick against Sans’ chest and he fell on his rear with snicker. You sat up angrily. “FUCKIN PERV!!” You groaned, “I see your memory is working pretty well now!” 

Sans smiled at you strangely. “speaking of memory...did i hear you say that you attacked my little brother?” 

You felt your chest clench and you shot a panicked expression at Sans. He wasn’t using any magic to make you feel like this. But he didn’t need to. His facial expression was enough. “I thought he was someone else,” you protested. 

Sans shot you a disbelieving look. “really? how many 7ft skeletons do you know?”

You cleared your throat anxiously. “I mean, your brother literally charged me from out of the shadows! And I don’t know if you’re up to date on human news, but there’s that rapist running loose in this city...Mr. Rapist!” 

Sans blinked lazily before shaking his head. “i’m afraid you’re barking up the wrong tree.” You huffed as you reached for your underwear. “i have walked a couple of the female students to their cars at night and they would mention him. sounds like a real dirtbag.” 

“I find that really ironic that you just said that.” 

“you’re the only human i want to take advantage of,” Sans glibbed. Despite your best intentions, you found yourself breaking into a smile. You patted the pillow on your lap and coaxed Sans to place his head on the pillow. You placed your fingers gently on his skull. “i’m surprised you’re still here,” Sans admitted.

“It’s my apartment.”

Sans eyed you curiously. “let me change that. i’m surprised that i’m still here.”

You shook your head slowly. “I am too. I honestly should be furious. If I was any other women, I would have kicked you out of my apartment or taken this opportunity to bash your skull in with this heavy book next to me.” Sans winced at the imagery but you continued. “But for some reason, I’m not. I’m absolutely pissed that you tried to murder me...but as far as wanting to seek revenge or go to the police or something, I don’t plan on it.” You chuckled. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a fucked up human.”

Sans bopped you on the nose. “hey being fucked up is very attractive,” he chastised you. He got more comfortable in your lap. “but if pap still wants to keep hanging out with you, even after you sprayed him, you can’t be too fucked up.” 

“Fuck! Papyrus!” You remembered, slapping your forehead. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I just left him like that!” 

“don’t beat yourself up too much. i already told him it was my fault you left,” Sans advised, patting your melons reassuringly. 

“I-ugh. I should call him or text him or something.” You groaned. You sat up forcing Sans to slide off of you to sit at the edge of your bed. You suddenly became still at the thought of talking to Papyrus right after, well... 

Sans picked up on your body language. “you wondering what to say to pap?” he asked. You bit your lip. Sans placed a hand on yours reassuringly. “listen kid. i’m the one who fucked up. this was not your fault in any way. whatever you decide, i’ll stand behind you one hundred percent of the way.” 

You considered it. What good would come of telling Papyrus? How would you even start that conversation...Hey Pap, your brother tried to kill me and then he attempted to sexually assault me? What’s sex you say? Well when a man and a woman-No! No! No! That was not a topic you wanted to ever have. “Gah, no, do you mind if we don’t tell him? I can’t even imagine how I could explain it to him in a way that he would understand or accept,” you asked. 

Sans nodded. “give pap some credit. he understands more than he lets on...but yeah, this is not a talk i would honestly like to have with him.”

“Thanks.” You tried to get to your feet, but you quickly crumpled to the ground the moment you put weight on your legs. “Fuck your magic, Sans. It feels like my feet have fallen asleep.” You groaned.

“gee, i didn’t realize you would fall for me that fast,” he chuckled. 

“I don’t even know what I did with my phone,” you admitted as you tried to rub the feeling back into your legs. 

He pulled out his own cell and began to dial. “hang on, i’ll call it.” Your ears strained to listen for the phone but only heard silence. Sans glumly stared at the rip in his jacket while you attempted to army crawl to the broken door. “hey, pap,” Sans spoke. 

“Fuck, did I really leave it at your house?” You swore. Sans waved at you and you shut up. 

“yeah no i’m with her right now. yeah she’s okay. she just was feeling a bit queasy. it must have been an effect of the alcohol. first timers react to it differently.” You looked at Sans gratefully for the lie and he winked at you. “i’ll be home soon, don’t worry. i’m sure she’ll come by to pick up her phone. just hang on to it for now. hmm? sure hold on.” Sans hopped off the bed and walked over to you where you had managed to get yourself into a sitting position. “he wants to talk to you.” 

You hesitated. Should you talk to him? You owed him that much after running out on him. You carefully took the phone out of San’s hands and put it to your ear. “Hello?”

“HUMAN!” You quickly yanked the phone away from your ear as a familiar voice boomed at you through the speaker. Sans snickered at you before walking over to your bedroom door which had been knocked to the ground during your “struggle”. 

“H-hey Papyrus,” you greeted, rubbing the back of your head. 

“Are you alright? I was so worried!” Papyrus’ distressed voice tugged at your heart. You really felt awful now. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m super sorry I ran out on you guys. I really had a fun time!” You assured him. 

His voice sounded a bit more relieved. “I’m glad. Eh,” there was a pause as you heard your phone ding with a notification.

“Is that my phone?” You asked, “Did I get a message?” 

“Yes,” Papyrus confirmed. “Your date keeps messaging you.” 

“Date?” You scrunched your forehead for a moment. “Oh yeah, Jeremy. What did he want?” 

“I don’t know. I didn’t read his messages,” Papyrus admitted. 

You found yourself smiling goofily. “Oh honey, that’s really sweet of you.” You couldn’t help yourself. You admired his integrity. 

“Nyeh! I-i mean you-,” Papyrus stammered.

“Wait, did you say he kept messaging me?” You realized, “Shit. Maybe something’s wrong? Can you go ahead and open them and tell me what they say?” 

You heard Papyrus fumble with your phone before clearing his throat. “The first message says ‘I’m sorry I had to leave early. I cannot wait for our magical 3rd date. Winky face.’” You had to stifle a giggle at the seriousness with which he was taking this task. “Humans can use magic?” He asked you curiously. 

“Ah, no. Er. Something different is going to happen if we go on a third date.”

Papyrus was silent. “If?” He asked, “You mean you’re not sure if you’re going on a third date with him?” You weren’t sure but he sounded somewhat pleased by that discovery. You ignored that possibility for now. 

“You said messages?” 

“Oh yes. There’s one more.” There was another shuffle and then silence. Papyrus hmphed.

“Papyrus? Everything okay?” 

“I think your date mistyped a few words.” 

“Uh..?”

“The next message reads. ‘Call me when you’re done playing beauty and the beast. I’ll save you.’” You scrunched your nose up again. 

The fuck? “That is a weird message,” you vocalized outloud. Had he gone drinking or given his phone to a friend? “That doesn’t sound like him at all.” 

“You should tell him that you are absolutely safe with us. He does not have to worry about saving you,” Papyrus emphasized.

“Right...although you did kidnap me,” you reminded.

Papyrus coughed on the other line. “What’s beauty and the beast?” Papyrus asked, trying to change the subject, “I have never heard of that game.”

“It’s a movie. Well technically it’s a story that got made into a movie,” you hurriedly explained, “Yeah I don’t think he was fully awake when he texted that,” you guessed, opting not to explain drunk human behavior to Papyrus at this time. 

Papyrus laughed. “That sounds like a good story. Maybe Sans can read it to me for bedtime.” 

You raised an eyebrow. “For bedtime?”

Sans had finished propping the door up against the wall and smiled at you. “every night, i read a bedtime story to papyrus before he goes to bed,” he explained. 

“That’s adorable,” you giggled. 

“Nyeh! Bedtime stories are not adorable! They help relax the mind after training!” Papyrus insisted. 

“oh shit,” you heard Sans suddenly say. 

A loud crash brought life back into your legs and you jumped up with a shriek. Your bedroom door had crashed back to your floor. You shot Sans a glare who shrugged apologetically. “Sans!” You growled. 

“IS EVERYTHING OKAY?!!?” Papyrus shrieked on the line. 

“Yeah yeah! Sorry! My bedroom door just fell off its hinges. It scared me is all. I’ll have to call maintenance and see if they can fix it tomorrow.” 

“Oh not to worry human!” Papyrus insisted, “I shall come tomorrow to fix it.”

“Don’t worry,” you tried to sway him, but he was resolute. 

“It’s the least I can do!” Papyrus persisted. You heard your phone ding again. “Oh, the male human is calling now.” 

“Crap. I think he might actually be worried. Can you go ahead and answer it and tell him I don’t have my phone. You can come by tomorrow when you’re available.” 

“Sounds wonderful! Good night, human. Tell my brother to let you get some rest!” 

“Will do. Good night, Pap!” You disconnected the phone and handed it to Sans who tucked it away. “You know, I was wondering about something. How did you and Papyrus figure out where I lived? I didn’t tell either of you,” you asked suspiciously. 

Sans chuckled. “well i told pap to check your driver’s license the night you left your wallet in his car. as for me, grillby gave it to me when you left it at the bar. which reminds me...” He fished out your license and handed it to you which you snatched up quickly. 

“You both are fucking creepers.”

“and you attack innocent monsters,” Sans snickered. 

“Only one innocent monster. Innocent monsters don’t grope humans,” you stuck out your tongue at him. 

In a flash, you felt Sans’ teeth suddenly pressing against your lips, his tongue wrestling with yours. Your breath caught in your chest and you felt yourself moaning into the ferociousness of the kiss. You went to grab his jacket when he suddenly backed up, leaving you grasping the air. Your flushed face turned to him and your befuddled appearance made him laugh. 

“Wh-what?” You sputtered. 

Sans smiled devilishly. “just giving you a taste. can’t rough you up until i get this jacket fixed, ya know?” 

“Ah, uh, I can’t sew.” 

“heh. can hardly wait i see. i’ll get it fixed soon, no worries. see ya later, kiddo.” And with another flash, the skeleton was gone. You started breathing again and ran your fingers through your hair. 

“Oh my god, what have I gotten myself?” You asked yourself. You stepped over the fallen door and threw yourself onto the bed. God, even the sheets smelled like arousal. You would have to do a lot of laundry tomorrow if this kept up. Exhaustion forced your eyes to droop and soon you were fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans has somewhat redeemed himself...or at the very least, explained himself enough to you. 
> 
> Which brings us to the bigger question...what does Jeremy want and how is he going to react when he finds out that Pap has your phone?


	24. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ THIS!!
> 
> Okay, do I have your attention? Yay! Awesome. So I was at work today when I got a message from my partner in crime, my husband. He was aware that I was writing an Undertale story and picked up on the fact that I started acting nervous and stressed lately and thought it might have something to do with what I was writing...well, he found my story online. And read it completely. Which is impressive since his first language is not English.
> 
> He wanted to talk with me about the story so when I got home, he asked about the Sans rape scene and why I wrote it, He also was a bit off put by it because it caught him off guard as well. I explained why and although he understood, he asked if he could compromise with me. He figures that the initial scene was written to show Sans overstepping a boundary with Lori that would have consequences, despite Lori and Sans still remaining friendly after this scene. (He was correct). He does not believe it has to be rape and after listening to him, I feel he is right. So BOTH OF US went back and rewrote Chapter 22 and 23. 
> 
> Now...it is still a molestation scene. However, we both feel that this will still follow the plan of the story if not make it better, so please GO BACK AND REREAD Chapter 22 and 23 before continuing this chapter. I will remove the author's note chapter prior to this so the story continues smoothly. 
> 
> P.S. He also did not appreciate the death threat. So if you're still out there, I still think you should fuck off. And so does my husband. And we have attack cats. 
> 
> Without further ado...the morning after!

A loud pounding woke you up from your dreamless sleep. You stirred softly, drool dripping onto your pillow, before pulling the blankets back over your head. Maybe if you didn’t move, they would go away. 

The pounding continued. You groaned and slowly forced yourself to sit up, wiping away the dried drool off your cheek. With another groan, you got to your feet, scratched your butt and began to stumble toward the front door. “Just a min-oh fuck!” You swore, tripping over a large wooden object. You managed to catch yourself from falling flat on your face and drowsily observed that your bedroom door was on the ground. Why was your door on the ground?

“Oh yeah,” you mumbled. You stood there staring at the damage in front of you. So last night. You groaned and rubbed your head. Last night was real. “Do I really want to think about this now?” You shrugged and made your way to your front door. “Fucking Sans,” you muttered.

“I GOT IT! FUCK OFF!” You finally yelled as the door continued to pound and you finally yanked it open harshly. “Jeremy?” You asked. Your friend stood there, holding two cups of coffee. 

“Hi sleeping beauty,” he greeted warmly, “did I wake you up?” Your eyes never wavered from the coffee. 

“All is forgiven if one of those is a chocolate mocha,” you stated. He smiled and handed one of the cups to you which you greedily seized and sipped. You stepped back to let him in and shut the door after him. You caught a glance at yourself in a mirror nearby and winced. Your hair was a curly nightmare, your eye make up was smudged. You had fallen asleep in your bra and tank top, but at least you were wearing comfortable pajama pants instead of those loose sweat pants. You did not remember changing...had Sans dressed you in your sleep? Ugh, it was too early to think about this. “Mm, what timisit?” You mumbled. 

“What?”

“Time. What time is it?” 

“Uh, about 10am, maybe a little earlier,” Jeremy admitted. 

“Mmm…” the coffee was beginning to jumpstart your brain as your guest took a seat on your couch. You blinked. Wait. Jeremy was in your apartment. Your apartment. That you did not tell him where you lived. “Hey, wait, how’d you find out where I lived?” You realized. 

Jeremy smiled brightly. “Oh! Papyrus told me last night!” He informed you. 

You blinked. “He-he did?” You felt yourself waking up more at this admission. 

Jeremy looked nervous. “Yes, shit, was he not supposed to tell me or something?” He asked worriedly. “Man, I don’t want to get the guy in trouble.” You shook your head. 

“No, no. I’m sure he didn’t know better, although that’s a bit scary that he told you and he hadn’t even met you yet,” you admitted. 

“Gah, you’re right. He’s lucky I’m a nice guy,” Jeremy whistled. You nodded. “He mentioned that your bedroom door needed fixing?” Your mouth dropped. 

“Are you fucking serious?” You exclaimed.

“I guess he felt bad for you. He said we should meet at your place at 10:00am so we could fix it for you,” Jeremy apologized. You gaped at him. 

“Fucking skeletons,” you muttered. 

Jeremy calmly placed a hand on your shoulder. “Hey hey, Lori, it’s okay. I’m sure the kid meant well,” he attempted to placate you. You grumbled irritably to yourself. Kid? Yeah, he certainly was acting like one. 

“Wait he was supposed to meet you at 10?” You asked, “Isn’t it like 10:15 already?” 

“Yes, he hasn’t tried to call me so maybe he’s still sleeping,” Jeremy suggested. 

“God damn, I hate when people are late.”

“Hey! You were late to our first date,” Jeremy insisted. 

You rubbed the back of your head. “Uhhhh, yeah. Okay. Sue me, I’m a hypocrite.” Oh you most certainly were, although not the way Jeremy thought at the moment. 

“It’s alright, I’m sure I can fix your door by myself,” Jeremy offered. 

You grabbed his arm before he could move. “No fucking way. I’m not letting you do this alone. I’m going to help you out! That door is dangerous if it falls.” 

Jeremy nodded before pointing to your neck. “I can see that. Did the knob hit you in the neck when you fell?” What? Your hand darted to the side of your neck and you hissed painfully. The skin was tender from where Sans had bit you and although he had not broken skin, there was still a bruise. 

“Fuck, how bad is it?” You asked.

“Not too bad actually. Tell you what, you just drink your coffee and ice it and I’ll start working on your door. If I need help, I’ll ask you, alright?” 

You smiled gratefully at Jeremy. Your body ached from your less than gentle molestation from Sans last night and the thought of trying to hammer and hold up a door did not sound particularly appealing. “Thanks, Jer Bear. Tell you what, let me make us some breakfast. Pancakes okay?” 

“Sure, do you still have the milk we got from our first date?”

“...Fuck. No I don’t. I used it all,” you responded truthfully. “Would eggs work?” 

“Haha, that’s fine,” he called out from your bedroom. “Damn! What happened in here? The door’s been knocked clean off the hinges!” 

“Shit, really?” You groaned, walking toward the bedroom. 

“Did someone try to break in?”

You panicked. As much as you were did not entirely approve of how Sans had handled a life threatening experience, you did feel marginally guilty for being the one to put him in the life threatening position in the first place. You didn’t want to implicate the shorter skeleton. At least until you thought it out a bit more. “Nah, you see, I was on my period and I had no more milk-.” 

“Aghhhh!! Say no more, She Hulk!” He laughed. You laughed too, grateful that he believed your lie and you sat yourself on the edge of your bed. Jeremy seized the edges of your door and propped it back up against the wall before studying the hinges. “I’m not quite sure how this is possible, but it looks like I just have to bend the metal here to get the door to fit back in.” 

“That’s pretty lucky,” you agreed. 

“Hey, while I’ve got you here, you put any thought into where you would like to go for our third date?” He asked casually as he began to push against the metal. 

You hesitated. Your words from two nights ago echoed in your mind. Despite your best efforts, you still did not feel the emotional connection to him like you would feel toward someone you wanted to date. But here he was, without you asking, trying to fix your door. And he brought you a mocha. A mocha! He deserved another chance, you convinced yourself.

“I honestly am not sure,” you admitted, “maybe we could go to the beach or go bowling or something?” 

Jeremy smiled as he forced the first metal hinge back into place. “Bowling sounds good. The weather is pretty good for the beach I’ll admit, but I wouldn’t want any other guys checking you out.”

You blinked in surprise at the comment. “Haha. What?”

Jeremy laughed oddly. “I’m kidding, kidding.” 

You chuckled. “In order to get checked out, I actually would need to buy a bathing suit since I haven’t gone to the beach in a really long time.”

“Really? I go like all the time. You should go get one today. I heard there’s some form of sale or something exciting going on at Sunset Mall.” 

“As delightful as shopping sounds,” you stuck out your tongue, “I have to yell at Papyrus if he ever shows up.” You humpfed. “You know what’s crazy, he had me totally convinced that he was like some super early/on time person but look he’s now 30, no 40 minutes late without even a courtesy phone call. None of his friends ever mentioned his tardiness at all.” 

“I guess he just doesn’t know me well enough to know better,” Jeremy suggested with an odd chuckle. 

“Well friend or not, he should still show up on time. Now let me go make my hungry bear man some eggs,” you stated, giving a light squeeze to Jeremy as he finished pushing together the second of the three hinges. Another knock at the door caught your attention and Jeremy glanced at you.

“That’s probably him now. I’m sure he got stuck in traffic or something,” Jeremy offered. “Be nice.” 

Another knock got you up and walking toward the door. “Just a minute!” you called. The knocking gratefully stopped at your yell and you opened the door shortly thereafter. 

Sure enough, the skeleton monster stood in your doorway. “Hello Lori!” He smiled.

“Papyrus, where have you been?” You asked him. 

Papyrus blinked. “Initially? I was in bed and then I was in the living room. And then the car and now I’m here.”

“Seriously? You’re super late. Poor Jeremy has been here for over 40 minutes fixing the door by himself,” you informed him, crossing your arms. 

Papyrus’ sockets widened. “L-late?!” He sputtered. “But I thought-” 

You scoffed. “I can’t believe you just gave out my address too!”

Papyrus threw his hands out to his side in surprise. “But-but Jeremy said-,” He protested. 

Jeremy’s voice rang out at that moment. “Got the last hinge back to normal!” You both turned to see Jeremy stepping out into the living room. He spotted Papyrus and gave a friendly wave. “Hey buddy! You’re a bit late, but no worries, you can help me lift the door back on to the hinges.” 

Papyrus looked toward you but you already were walking to the kitchen to make breakfast. You could feel him watching you for a few moments longer before he sighed. “Oh, of course. The Great Papyrus is always happy to help,” he declared unsurely as he followed Jeremy to your bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's something wrong going on here. Any theories?


	25. Mini Chapter: Trying to Fix It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, a Pap POV chapter. Now we can figure out what the heck happened!
> 
> Just a reminder, see a cool undertale photo or have some you want to share? Share it with me on Tumblr http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/   
> SFW and NSFW are perfectly fine. And if you end up drawing something from this story, I will show your awesomeness and link back to you :D

Papyrus checked his phone as he pulled into your parking lot. Twenty minutes early. He remained in his car and fiddled with his gloves nervously. He was going in there to fix your door. He didn’t know how to fix a door, but he was pretty sure he could do it. He looked up manuals on his phone after Sans had read him a bedtime story but the internet didn’t really show much when he typed in “how to fix lori’s door”. 

However, not fixing your door was the least of his problems. He had wanted to talk to you early. That part of the plan made him anxious. He felt his chest tighten up as he remembered last night. His worrisome thoughts did not end when he finally fell asleep. No. His dreams about racecars and joining the royal guard had been replaced by dreams of, well, you. You smiling at him and holding his hand. Eating pasta together. Even when he stirred between dreams, he could not not think of you. His comments to you about not being able to smell may have been incorrect as he continuously inhaled your scent from where you had slept in his bed the night before.

He was starting to feel warm in the car and decided to head toward your apartment now. Maybe he could use the extra time to talk to you before meeting up with Jeremy. He carried your phone with him as he ascended the stairs and gently rapped on your door. “Just a minute!” He heard you holler from inside. He stopped knocking and waited. Your door opened and there you stood, your hair a mop of curls and frizz wearing almost the exact same outfit as last night. Except your pants seemed to fit you better than those sweat pants from last night. 

“Hello Lori!”

“Papyrus, where have you been?” You asked him. 

Papyrus blinked and began to list off his activities following up to this point. “Initially? I was in bed and then I was in the living room. And then the car and now I’m here.” You were looking at him in confusion. He started to become nervous. 

“Seriously? You’re super late. Poor Jeremy has been here for over 40 minutes fixing the door by himself,” you informed him, crossing your arms. 

Papyrus’ sockets widened. “L-late?!” He sputtered. He was never late. Even when he tried to be late, he was always on time. And he never tried to be late. “But I thought-” 

You cross your arms. “I can’t believe you just gave out my address too!”

This was not going at all like he planned. Papyrus shifted uncomfortably. “But-but Jeremy said-,” He protested. 

“Got the last hinge back to normal!” He could hear a familiar male voice shout from your bedroom. He heard footsteps and watched as a tall, muscular human male stepped out into the living room. He spotted Papyrus and gave a friendly wave. “Hey buddy! You’re a bit late, but no worries, you can help me lift the door back on to the hinges.” 

Papyrus looked toward you but you had already turned and walked into your kitchen. You were not looking at him at all. “Oh, of course. The Great Papyrus is always happy to help,” he declared unsurely as he followed Jeremy to the bedroom. 

“Great, I’m super glad, just get one side of the door and we’ll try lower it on to the hinges,” Jeremy directed. Papyrus grasped the door and hoisted it up easily, surprising Jeremy. “Oh, wow. Okay you’re really strong,” he laughed, “I guess I’ll just guide it down.” 

“Human,” Papyrus began, “I thought you said we would meet at 11am?”

Jeremy thought about it. “I’m pretty sure I said 10am. 11am seems kinda late in the day, don’t you think?” 

“I thought that too, but…” Papyrus’ voice trailed off. Maybe he had misheard Jeremy afterall. His mind was still a bit fuzzy from his odd sleep patterns. What had he even said last night?

~~~~~ 

Last night...

“Hey How my baby girl doing?” An extremely jovial male voice greeted happily on the phone. 

“I think the human is doing well?” Papyrus offered helpfully to the voice on the other line. The way that the voice said “my” made Papyrus flinch slightly but he maintained his positive attitude. 

“Human? Uh, is this Lori’s phone?” 

“Oh! Yes, sorry it is. This is Papyrus.”

There was a pause on the other line. “Papyrus the monster?” 

“Yes! Are you Jeremy the human?” Papyrus asked. 

“Yes?”

“Ah! What a pleasure to finally talk to you! Lori has said many nice things about you,” he smiled. The fellow seemed nice enough. 

“Oh, that’s cool. Yeah, she’s said some things about you too. Um, no offense, but would you mind telling me why you have her phone?”

“She had to go home and she forgot her phone,” Papyrus answered honestly. “I’m going to be bringing it back to her house tomorrow when I go to fix her bedroom door.”

“Her bedroom door is broken? Is she okay?” The voice was concerned. 

“I believe so. She called me with Sans’ phone and said so.” 

“Whew, I’m glad. Wait, you know where Lori lives?” The voice asked him. 

“Of course.”

There was a rustle of paper and his voice. “Can you remind me where she lives?” He asked.

Papyrus hesitated. Why didn’t Jeremy know where you livef? Had you purposely not told him? Then again, you hadn’t told Papyrus and Sans, yet they had managed to find your home anyway. “Uh, I’m not sure she would want me to tell,” Papyrus admitted. 

The voice on the other end laughed good naturedly. “Man, she’s really lucky to know a guy like you. I can see you care a lot about her and want to keep her safe from weirdos.” 

Papyrus smiled. This man seemed very nice and understanding. “Absolutely. I would feel really bad if anything happened to Lori. Not saying you’re a weirdo or anything,” Papyrus corrected. 

“Oh, totally. I do know where she lives actually, I just can’t remember her apartment number is all,” the voice explained, “I’ve got something for her too that I meant to bring her as well.” Papyrus debated this information. “But, uh, if you’re not comfortable reminding me, it’s cool. I’ll just call her back when she has her cell.” 

The man sounded trustworthy enough. Papyrus found himself giving your address to him. “Perhaps I will see you tomorrow?” Papyrus asked. 

“Hey, that’s a great idea! We could fix her door together! Let’s meet at her place at 11am.” Jeremy exclaimed happily. 

Papyrus beamed. “That sounds wonderful, new human friend! I will see you then!” He ended the call with a smile just as Sans had walked in the door…

~~~~~

“I must have been mistaken. I’m sorry,” Papyrus apologized, lowering the door into its proper position. 

“That’s okay. I heard she yelled at you about the address too.” Papyrus nodded sullenly. “Listen, I brought her home before. I guess she just doesn’t remember that. Girls can be weird sometimes,” he admitted.

“Maybe she is just so passionate that she forgot?” Papyrus hesitantly suggested. 

Jeremy appraised Papyrus curiously. “Passionate?” Papyrus nodded. “Man, you don’t have much experience with women, do you?” 

“Of course I do!” The skeleton insisted, “I train with them everyday!”

“Er, not that type of experience,” Jeremy rubbed his forehead. “Listen, I’m going to do you a solid. Man to man here. Dude to dude.” 

“A solid? A solid what?” 

“A favor. I’m going to give you some help.”

“Oh thank you...what are you helping me with?

“Women.”

“Are you guys done yet?” Your voice shouted from down the hall. 

Jeremy winked at Papyrus. “Watch this.” He cleared his throat and called out. “I don’t think we’ll be done yet.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You asked.

“I think you need to make me some bacon too if you want this door fixed faster,” Jeremy laughed. 

There was a clatter in the kitchen and a swear before you answered. “Fine, fine! Hang on, I’ve got some. Give me a few minutes.” 

Jeremy held out a hand. “See?” 

“But we already fixed the door,” Papyrus insisted, “Why did you tell her we didn’t?” 

“To get bacon. Do you understand?”

“So, if I tell people that I haven’t fixed their doors, they will give me bacon which will help me get better with women?” Papyrus asked, rubbing the back of his skull. 

Jeremy stared at him blankly. “What..I don’t even...what? No. No. Listen.” He regained his smile. “Listen. What I'm about to tell you, you absolutely can't tell Lori. Especially if you want a shot with her. Do you understand?" 

Papyrus hesitated. "Nyeh, I don't like keeping things from friends." 

"Did you really just say nyeh?" Jeremy asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry?"

"Uh, nothing." He tapped his chin. "Think of it this way. Do you tell your friends if you want to get a surprise gift for them?" Papyrus paused. Well, no he didn't. Then it wouldn't be a surprise. He shook his head. Jeremy grinned. "It's kinda like that....but," The man shrugged his shoulders, "it doesn't bother me either way. I just thought I would give you some help...." He began to walk toward your now fixed door. "I'm sure you can think of someway to get Lori to go on a third date with you."

"Third date?" He hadn't even gone on a second one with you and the human was talking about a third?

The human stopped walking. "Oh yeah. She and I are already planning our third date," Jeremy mentioned offhandedly, "I was going to help you get there too....but if you don't want my help, then that's fine. I'll just catch you later." He took a step forward.

"Wait." He turned to face Papyrus. The skeleton felt rather conflicted but cleared his throat and forced himself to continue. "I would very much appreciate some advice."

Jeremy smiled good naturedly and patted the skeleton on the back. "Excellent. Alright, have a seat with me and I'll tell you exactly what you need to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless cliffhanger is shameless.  
> What advice would YOU give Pap? And then what advice do you think Jeremy gave?


	26. Healing Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know how many awesome descriptions of Jeremy I read in the comments last chapter? These included but were not limited to: donkey-monger, shady bastard, massive dick (yet not in possession of one), scheming bastard, gaslighting fucktrumpet, fuckbois, etc. The level of violence everyone wished to inflict upon this dude was equally satisfying. 
> 
> Now, remember that suspension of disbelief you guys all gave me with the monster alcohol bit? I'm going to need you guys to give me a little bit more in this chapter. Trust me, I won't ask you to do this too often and you'll see why.

You cracked the eggs in the bowl and began to whisk them as your frying pan heated up. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to have left Jeremy and Papyrus alone but hey a broken door was a broken door and two strong guys were two strong guys. Plus they were both pleasant and polite enough. 

You placed four slices of bread into the toaster and paused. Should you make a sandwich for Papyrus? You wavered between doing so and finally decided against it. The skeleton seemed like the type who would get up early and eat a nutritious breakfast. So he probably wouldn’t be interested in a fried egg sandwich. 

You began to cook the first egg and thought about it. There was no way in hell you would be telling a soul about what had transpired last night. Especially the two guys in your bedroom. Who you were both dating at the same time. Did you mention that they were in the same room, alone? Most likely talking. Maybe about you? Or was that vain to think that? 

You finished up the first egg pretty quickly and started the next one. It was really quiet. You thought about starting to talk to yourself, or knocking on the wall to talk to Kaylie. You bit your lip and looked at the connecting wall. Kaylie hadn’t responded to your screaming last night. Had she not heard you? There was no way she could not have heard you. If she could hear you masturbate, she should have heard you screaming from an attempted rape...unless, Sans had done something to her. You glanced at the wall again with some trepidation. 

No. He wouldn’t have done anything to Kaylie. That seemed too sinister. But then again, he did try to murder you last night. “Are you guys done yet?” You shouted, hoping to get these guys out of here so you could check on your neighbor. Plus...you really didn’t want them actually talking about you. That would be kinda awkward. 

“I don’t think we’ll be done yet!” Jeremy’s voice called out.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You asked.

“I think you need to make me some bacon too if you want this door fixed faster,” Jeremy laughed. 

Bacon? Uh. Did you have any? You opened the fridge and quickly started tossing items out onto the floor with a clatter. Success! Bacon! You tossed it on the counter and began to throw things back into your fridge. “Fine, fine! Hang on, I’ve got some. Give me a few minutes.”

You removed the second egg off the stove before it could burn and quickly began to fry the bacon. You quietly walked over to the connecting wall and rapped it gently. You waited an agonizing minute or so before someone knocked back. “Hello Lori,” a young boy’s voice greeted.

“Hi Elijah,” you greeted. “Is your mom there?” 

“Yes, but she’s sleeping. Do you want me to wake her up?”

“Bacon or not! Here we come!” 

Shit. “No honey, don’t worry about it. Just making sure everything’s alright. I’ll talk to her later. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” 

You returned to your kitchen and quickly plated the sandwiches as you heard footsteps down the hall. You turned to face the guys. Jeremy saw you standing there with sandwiches and he smiled broadly. Papyrus was following shortly behind him. He seemed to be in deep thought so you decided not to say anything to him. “Go ahead and dig in!”

“Thanks babe,” Jeremy cheered, grabbing one of the sandwiches and taking a huge bite. 

You went to grab the other sandwich you made for yourself but quickly noticed Papyrus not moving. “Pap,” you asked, “have you eaten breakfast?”

“Ah, no I haven’t,” he admitted. You sighed and motioned to the plate. 

“Go ahead and eat mine then. I’ll make another one.” 

Papyrus waved his hands. “No! Human, please do not sacrifice your nutrition for my sake!” 

“It’s fine. I’ll make another one,” you insisted, already pulling out another egg and more bread. 

Papyrus was determined. He approached you in the kitchen and you eyed him warily. This was YOUR kitchen now. “I insist you eat first.” 

“Hey, Lori, I think you should just eat the sandwich,” Jeremy suggested. You scowled at your friend and he quickly shoved another bite of food in his mouth nervously. You returned your attention to the skeleton who was a lot closer to you now, his arms crossed defiantly. 

“What, you don’t think my cooking is good enough?” You sneered.

“You are an excellent cook, but I am an even better guest,” Papyrus retorted. 

Jeremy’s phone rang and his face flooded with instant relief. “Oh thank god,” he mumbled. You and the skeleton both whirled on him. “Uh, I mean, oh shucks...I gotta take this. Outside. Now.” Jeremy backed away before darting out the door. 

Papyrus watched the human quickly depart and he turned back to you. “Hu-gah!” You had stealthily taken the opportunity to shove the sandwich into his mouth when he tried to speak. The skeleton stumbled backwards out of shock and you quickly grabbed both of his hands before he could pull the sandwich out. There was an evil glint to your eyes that unnerved him.

“Eat it!” 

“Nyeh!” He really looked like he wanted to pull himself out of your hands but you had the look of someone who wasn’t going to let go without a fight. And the last thing he wanted to do was accidentally hurt you. He took a bite. 

“Don’t you dare spit it out! You better swallow it!” He swallowed obediently and you released one of his hands so he could pull the sandwich out of his mouth. You did not want to make the monster choke. You weren’t that evil. “How is it?”

“It’s very good,” Papyrus smiled. You smiled back. 

“Good, now wipe that stupid grin off your skull,” you grumbled, trying to stop smiling yourself and letting him go.

“I can’t. I’m a skeleton,” Papyrus argued. You rolled your eyes.

“You know what I mean.” You turned to go back to the kitchen but Papyrus caught your arm and gently pulled you back to him. You made eye contact with him and felt yourself untense slightly at his concerned expression. You groaned. “I’m mad at you,” you informed him helpfully. 

Papyrus watched you dejectedly. “I know. It’s my fault. I must have misheard your date about the time when he and I talked about fixing your door. And when he said he forgot your address...I was just hoping we could all be friends.” Papyrus found himself yawning. “The last few nights I haven’t slept very well.” 

His yawn triggered one from you as well. “Yeah, I get you,” you agreed. “It’s been a crazy few days huh?” You rubbed the side of your neck with your free hand absentmindedly and winced. You bit your lip not to make a noise but Papyrus was too perceptive. 

“Human?” 

“It’s nothing,” you lied. You tried to pull back but Papyrus had a solid grip on your wrist. You felt yourself flush at the firm restraint. A bad feeling began to form in your stomach. 

“Let me see.” It wasn’t a request, you realized with some trepidation. The intensity of his stare squelched whatever mischevious intentions you had and you found yourself brushing aside your hair to expose your neck to the skeleton. Papyrus approached you and touched the bruise on the side of your neck with his free hand. You took a sharp intake of breath. 

“What-what are you going to do to me?” You found yourself trembling. You knew that there was no reason to be shaking but you couldn’t help it. The last time you let a skeleton this close, you got bit. Your body was sure to remind you of that. 

Papyrus noted your trepidation and smiled. “Oh! Your response flatters me, human. I too quivered with excitement when I first encountered healing magic” 

“Healing magic?” You echoed. 

“Yes.”

Your body shook a little bit harder now. No magic. Your body did not want to deal with magic. You had been ambivalent and even receptive to it prior to last night, but now you weren’t so sure. “It’s not a bad bruise,” You tried to dissuade Papyrus.

Papyrus nodded. “I agree. But I am afraid it might become worse if you get hurt at work.”

You clenched your teeth. This bruise might not have been anything serious, but you knew it would definitely generate some questions at work, especially since it resembled a failed hickey. It almost would have been better if Sans had broken your skin because you could have blamed it on a pet, but you had no such luck. You gulped. “Okay.”

“Yes?” Papyrus’ intense look lightened and he brightened up at you.

“Yeah. You’ve got my permission. Go ahead.”

“Permission for what?” Your eyes darted behind Papyrus to see Jeremy in your doorway. His arms were crossed and he was smirking about something. 

Papyrus’ chest puffed out proudly. “She has allowed me to use healing magic to try to alleviate her wound.” 

Jeremy’s smirk dropped and his eyes widened. “Wait, seriously! You can do that?” He gasped, “can all monsters do that?”

Papyrus shook his head. “It takes a lot of concentration and practice.”

“And you have a lot of practice?” You asked.

“Yes...well, some.” 

“Some?!” 

“Well I’ll just hang out here then,” Jeremy chuckled, not taking a step into your apartment. 

“Jeremy, you’re such a chickenshit!”

“Are you ready?” 

“I think so,” you calmed yourself. Papyrus hovered his gloved hand over your bruised neck...only for nothing to happen. 

Papyrus scrunched his skull up in confusion. “Did you do it?” Jeremy hollered from the doorway.

“No. I appear to be missing a crucial step here,” Papyrus admitted. 

“Ah, well I think I’m going to go for a walk,” Jeremy chuckled, “I have to make another phone call anyway. Be back in a bit.” You bit your tongue to avoid swearing out Jeremy as he walked away. Before you could tell Papyrus that you appreciated his effort, you let out a small squeak of surprise as he placed a hand under your chin and firmly raised your face up to face his. 

“Your friend seems like a very thoughtful human,” Papyrus mused as he leaned in to study your neck. You felt your cheeks redden at how close the skeleton was to you. You were supposed to be mad at him, dammit. And here he was, invading your personal space. You were going to tell him off! Right?

“Y-yeah, I know him from high school - uh…” Well, that wasn’t really telling him off. You sucked in some air painfully. He had extended a finger and was outlining the bruise. “Papyrus?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you not touch the bruise? It’s really sensitive,” you admitted. 

“...Oh! Of course!” Papyrus exclaimed, removing his fingers from your neck.

“Thanks, sorry it’s just feeling very tender. Why-why are you removing your glove?” You asked nervously, watching the skeleton slowly remove his red glove from one of his hands.

“Healing magic works through direct contact!” Papyrus gleefully cheered. With a final tug, Papyrus had removed one of his gloves and laid it safely on your counter before returning his attention to you. 

You blinked. “You took off your glove,” you dumbly observed. Papyrus nodded. “But you don’t like to take off your battle body stuff for people.”

Papyrus shrugged. “Well you are an important person to me. Just...don’t mention it to Sans. I’m sure he will come up with all sorts of awful jokes about gloves and hands if he hears about this,” He winced. Oh, you’re not just sure. You KNOW he would. 

You smiled. “My lips are sealed.”

“Don’t seal them. You’ll need to tell me if it suddenly starts to burn,” Papyrus instructed you and he drew you close. 

“Burn?! Wait, Pap!” Your protests died in your throat as Papyrus placed his bones against your bruised neck. You let out another squeak and shut your eyes. Initially, you felt nothing except his fingers resting on your neck. But as the seconds crawled by, you could feel a warm tingle begin to emanate from his fingers. Your pulse quickened, expecting any moment for the warm pleasant sensation to suddenly plunge into third degree burns but it remained the same temperature. You felt yourself relaxing at the pleasant sensation. 

You couldn’t describe the senses that you were bombarded with in complete sentences but a few key words came to mind. Safety. Protection. Trust. Kindness.

You slowly opened your eyes and realized Papyrus had tilted your head upwards, allowing you to study his face. His orange pupil was faintly there and he appeared to be in deep concentration. Heh. The last time you had seen that orange eye you were in a position similar to this you realized. Except you were kissing him. The memory of the kiss briefly shot through your mind and you allowed yourself a small, albit sad smile. You had missed the few hours following the kiss where you had genuinely believed it was a gesture of affection and not “nothing” as Papyrus confessed to his brother. But there was no way in hell you would ever admit that to him.

The orange pupil flickered to watch your face and Papyrus blinked in surprise at you. The warm tingling had started to abate but his fingers remained on your neck. His concentrated expression shifted to confusion. You felt the warmth that had been dissipating began to rise once more and you felt yourself becoming confused. You were not exactly knowledgeable about how magic worked, but it didn’t seem to make sense that it would take this long. 

There were different thoughts starting to flood your mind. Guilt, arousal, more confusion. Were these your thoughts? These emotions felt foreign to you. You opened your mouth to speak and paused. What were you even going to say? And then suddenly an image materialized in your mind. It was, well, it was you. You were wearing the clothes you had worn on your second date with Jeremy. Your body was illuminated orange and you were tied up. How were you seeing yourself? Papyrus? Were you seeing his memory? Your brow furrowed. If you didn’t know any better, you could almost say you were in his mind, watching his memory of that night. But that’s impossible. If you were in his mind, then that would mean...

Your eyes widened. Was he reading your mind?! The panic that flashed on his face in the moments after this thought confirmed your suspicions and you tried to pull yourself out of his grasp. He held you tightly. “Let go!” You hissed angrily. 

“Wait, wait. I need to stop the magic first!” Papyrus warned. You felt the warmth vanish quickly and he pulled you into an immediate tight hug, one hand around our waist and the other pressing your head against his chest.

“Papyrus! What the fuck was that?” You gasped into his chest. Your head felt dizzy.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think that would happen. Please remain calm. You’re here.” Your mind felt scattered and you tried to remain calm. He kept you tightly cocooned against him, continuing to whisper to you to remain calm.

“Were you in my mind? Was I in your mind?” You asked hysterically. The memories which had seemed so clear just a minute ago were now a puddle of mish mash as you struggled to separate what were really your thoughts and which were his. An overwhelming sense of guilt still remained. 

“Possibly,” Papyrus admitted. 

“Possibly?” You stared up at him in bewilderment.

“Healing magic is only supposed to cure physical ailments but sometimes, it will try to fix emotional pain as well,” Papyrus tried to explain. He shook slightly. “You’re here.”

You found yourself relaxing in his hold as the hand holding your head began to gently stroke your hair, his individual fingers combing through strands of your dark hair. Your breathing evened out and you placed your hands, which had been clenched to your sides, open palmed against his chest. You could feel his own chest pounding through his armor. Despite the warmth emanating from the skeleton, a cold dread settled in your chest. If he could see your memories...had he seen last night? Had he been in there long enough to witness what actions Sans had committed against you? 

“What did you see?” You asked cautiously.

He shuddered slightly but did not respond. You watched his face and hesitated. This was the face of a monster who was trying to be very careful in the words he was going to say. The way that he had kept repeating “you’re here”...Was he afraid you were going to vanish if he did not hold on to you so tightly? Maybe you weren’t the only one whose mind was still returning to normal.

“I saw my words wound you,” Papyrus answered, leaning his own head softly against the top of yours. “I’m sorry.” He had seen...and he was sorry? If he had seen, then that means he knew that you actually liked-!

“Well, well, well.” You and Papyrus looked up quickly as a slow clap echoed in your apartment. Jeremy stood in your doorway, his figure blocking out the sunlight as he slowly clapped his hands together. He did not look pleased. “Monsters have an awfully handsy way of healing each other, wouldn’t you say?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. Should have just eaten the sandwich and stayed put instead of trying to help? How much did Pap see and how much did you find out?
> 
> Papyrus having healing magic just kinda makes sense to me. He doesn't want to kill anyone and even if he fought someone and beat them, I see him as the type of monster who would immediately try to heal them...and since his own food isn't exactly edible as far as healing items go, he'd use magic. (the concept of healing magic will be explained more in later chapters because you guys know damn well I'm not going to use this idea once and then never touch it again)


	27. A Good Way to Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to have a few POV/scene changes this chapter. Nothing too crazy but just remember that ~~~~~ = POV/scene change

Jeremy walked forward, closing the door behind him as he approached you both. You were hyper aware of Papyrus’ hand tightening on you almost protectively as the other male sauntered toward you. His smile dropped and he slowed his approach as he observed your face. “Hey, whoa. You look really pale. Are you okay?” When you didn’t immediately respond, Jeremy turned his attention to Papyrus. “Hey, is she okay?” 

Papyrus didn’t answer but instead looked to you. You swallowed and gave his chest a gentle pat before pushing yourself off his chest. You faced Jeremy and put on a smile. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. The magic just made me feel light headed is all,” you found yourself lying to Jeremy. You turned to Papyrus who was caught off guard by your lie. “Thank you Papyrus.”

“You’re welcome,” he managed. He released you fully and you walked over to Jeremy, flipping your hair off your neck. Jeremy flashed you a pearly white smile. 

“Wow! Your skin looks amazing!” Jeremy cheered. He walked around you as you posed until he was next to Papyrus. He elbowed the skeleton in the chest playfully. “And here I thought I was going to have to kiss it to make it better.” 

“Nyeh heh heh,” Papyrus chuckled without humor but Jeremy did not notice. You did however and you coughed.

“Well thank you so much for the coffee and fixing my door. I guess I’ll see you around,” You spoke after a moment of silence.

“Oh yeah, for our third date,” Jeremy elbowed the skeleton again. “Hey, you got a special someone?” 

Papyrus looked startled. “Special someone? Like special as in famous?” He asked curiously. 

“Hey, if you know someone famous, ask them,” Jeremy snickered. He slid an arm around your shoulders. “Lori and I were thinking about going to the bowling for our third date. I was thinking it would just be us two, but I figure the more the merrier. So if you have some friends who want to come along or someone famous,” he winked, “go ahead and invite them too.”

“Are you sure that’s alright? I wouldn’t want to intrude.” Papyrus asked with a yawn. 

Jeremy smirked. “Just let us know.” He faced you once more, “Later, Lori,” and before you could react, you felt his lips on your cheek. You caught Papyrus tensing at the physical contact but the kiss was over before you could say anything. Jeremy pulled back with a smile. He gave a quick wave to Papyrus before slipping out the door. Not wanting further interruptions, you shut your front door gently and turned back to Papyrus. 

He was shivering and had a spaced out look to his face. “Papyrus?” You asked worriedly. “Is everything alright?” 

Papyrus nodded slowly. “Of course. The Great Papyrus can handle any magic!” He took a sturdy step toward you before crumpling to the ground. 

“Papyrus! Are you okay?” You gasped, leaping toward him as he lifted himself to a sitting position. He looked dazed but he tried to smile to you. 

“Yes. I’m completely fine,” he attempted to reassure you. 

“Completely fine people don’t suddenly fall over!” You protested. 

“Well then it’s good that I’m a monster,” Papyrus grinned.

“You know what I mean,” you sighed. Papyrus let his shoulders slump slightly. You kneeled down to him. “What happened?” 

Papyrus still smiled at you, albeit tiredly. “Do not worry! I will be back to tip top shape in a few minutes. Healing magic is just more intensive is all.” 

You had the suspicious feeling the skeleton wasn’t being completely honest with you but you let it go, standing up. “Well, um, just sit there and eat the rest of your sandwich. Although it might be cold.” 

Papyrus grabbed the egg sandwich but paused, spotting his naked hand. “Would you return my glove?” He asked politely. You chuckled, grabbing the glove off the counter and handing it to him before heading back into the kitchen, leaving Papyrus alone with his thoughts. 

~~~~~

The magic had started innocently enough, Papyrus thought as he took another bite of your sandwich. He remembered seeing the injured skin and placing his phalanges over the sensitive skin, being careful not to cause further injury. You had started to relax and he found that he no longer had to force your head up to observe the wound. Your willingness also allowed him to channel much more smoothly. He smiled proudly as he watched the bruise fade from purple to blue to pink until it finally vanished all together. He hummed in victory and began to close the connection until a sharp emotion struck his core. It took him a few moments to recognize the emotion.

Sadness? He risked a glance at your face and noted that you had a slightly pained expression. He suspended closing the channel to see if he could understand where this pain was coming from. And if he could find the source, maybe he could fix it. And that would make you happy. At least he hoped it would. Another surge painfully struck his core and he almost retracted his hand but caught himself quickly. Papyrus couldn’t just break off healing magic in the middle of casting. Doing so would injure both parties since they technically were connected to each other during this type of magic. He forced himself to maintain the line as another feeling assaulted his core.

It was that weird feeling. The one that made his whole body feel warm. Yet there was was something unique about this sensation. It almost felt like he was experiencing this sensation through someone else. And if it wasn’t his..was it yours? Could he be tapping into your mind?

Curiosity pressed him onwards. He had never encountered this when he healed other monsters. Then again, monsters were pretty good about separating their mental health from their physical ailments. Or at least their ability to harness magic made accessing their minds a difficult task. But you had no such magical barriers and so he continued to traverse your mind unrestricted. 

There was no physical cause for the painful sadness. He felt himself questioning himself and made a motion to cease the connection when an image materialized in front of him. His sockets widened in confusion. He was seeing himself. Most likely through your eyes. He was in his house, his back toward you. He was yelling at someone and he realized it was Sans. A feeling of deja vu began to creep up on him. 

“pap listen.”

“It was a battle strategy! Just my excellent training coming to fruition! It meant nothing!” 

The anger and sadness that immediately followed those words were akin to being stabbed if Papyrus had ever been stabbed. The aggressiveness of these emotions compelled him to close the channel but Papyrus persevered, forcing the connection between you both back open as he fed it more magic. You were starting to stir in his hands and guilt began to reverberate within him. He was misusing the magic, but he felt compelled to probe further in your mind. He knew he had been at least somewhat responsible for your emotional distress, he reasoned. Therefore he should, no he needed to know what he actually meant to you in order to fix your distress. 

He risked another glance at you to see your lips had opened up once more. Your expression triggered his own memories before he could restrain himself and sent his mind down a different path. The night before you two officially hung out. Could memories of that night offer any guidance? He wasn’t sure and he tried to direct his mind away from the conjured image of you panting and moaning in front of him that night. But he couldn’t. He tried again to shift but it refused to budge. It was almost as if someone else had grabbed it and was trying to watch it. 

A chill settled into his bones as he began to remember the particulars of healing magic. Although he was connected to you, you also were connected to him. Which meant only one thing. You knew he was in your mind. He visibly panicked for a moment but that was all you needed to break whatever trance he had you under. You began to pull away from him and his sockets widened alarm as he gripped you harder. Your eyes looked up at him in a flash of anger and betrayal. “Let go!” 

“I need to-!” 

“Papyrus, let go!” 

“I just need another minute!” 

“Papyrus, dude, let go of the plate!” 

Papyrus blinked in surprise. “What?” The image of you struggling in his grasp melted away as he realized you were leaning toward him with one hand on his now empty plate. 

“You okay dude?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Papyrus nervously surveyed his surroundings. He was still in your apartment. He was sitting down with an empty plate on your couch. “Where did the sandwich go?” 

“You ate it.”

Papyrus blinked in surprise. “I did?”

“Yeah. Did you want another one or can I take your dish away so I can load it in the dishwasher?”

“Eh, no. I’m good. Thank you.” He released the plate and you brought it to the sink. 

“Are you okay? Do you want to stick around?”

Papyrus stood up surefootedly. You made a motion to help him, but he waved you away. “No, no. I’m fine. I should really be leaving,” Papyrus declared. 

“Hey, take it easy today, okay?” You asked. 

“Nyeh heh heh!” Papyrus cackled. “The Great Papyrus never takes the easy path! ...unless the easy path is the only path and then I will take it on it’s most challenging level.” You smiled.

“Did you bring my phone?” 

“Oh yes! I have it right here!” Papyrus pulled it out of his battle body and handed it to you. You glanced at it in confusion. 

“Papyrus, did you hear my phone go off at all?” Papyrus shook his head. “Cause I’ve got like 20 notifications.” 

“That seems excessive. Unless you are popular. Then that doesn’t seem like much,” Papyrus admitted. 

You unlocked your phone and stared at it. “What the hell is Undernet?”

Papyrus beamed. “It’s a monster social network website! You didn’t tell me you were on that site. Add me as friend. I’m CoolSkeleton95!”

“Huh?” 

“See you’re already friends with Alphys.”

“Oh. I see. I have a friend request from someone named Jerry? Should I accept-?”

“NO!” The quick change in tone startled you and you looked at Papyrus in surprise. “He’s weird,” the skeleton explained.

“O-okay then.” You glanced curiously at the phone. “I guess I’ll try to figure out how to add people later...Wait, don’t you normally have guard training every day?” You asked.

Papyrus nodded. “Yes. I probably should be getting back to it. Undyne was very kind to allow me to come to your place to fix your door. She wanted me to ask you one thing though.” 

“Oh sure. What is it?”

Papyrus smiled innocently. “What size are your battle attachments and can I have one?”

~~~~~

Papyrus sighed as he drove away. When he wasn’t shifting gears, his hand trailed to his face and he winced. His phone rang and he glanced at it to see it was Undyne. He put her on speaker phone. 

“Hey Pap! What’s taking you so long?!” Her voice boomed over the phone. 

“Hello Undyne, sorry, the human required more assistance than I thought.” 

“Cool, cool. Well, come back soon. I have a special mission for you.” 

“Eh um, Undyne?”

“Yeah, Pap?” 

“So I asked the human the question you wanted me to ask.” There was dead silence on the other line. “Undyne?”

“Still here,” her voice came out strangely as if she was trying not to laugh. “And what did she say?”

Papyrus paled. “A lot of things. I’m not comfortable repeating the majority of it.” 

“GWAHAHAHA! Oh man...did she give one to you?” 

Papyrus rubbed his cheek again. “No. Uh, she did slap me though and kicked me out of her place. Does that count?”

“Yeah, that counts. Oh man, I didn’t think you would really ask her. Alphys is going to kill me,” he heard Undyne giggle. 

“Alphys is very nice. I’m sure she won’t kill you,” Papyrus reassured her. 

“Heheh, maybe. Anyway, get up here soon. I’ve got a special visitor for you.” 

~~~~~

You glowered as you drove toward Sunset Mall. “Fucking Papyrus.” You muttered angrily. “Fucking Undyne!” You added. That pair was a heap of trouble. But you were done with them now. The only monster you would be interacting with would be Sans and even then that would most likely be something sporadic it sounded like. Provided you didn’t try to murder him. 

Your phone was still buzzing in the passenger seat and you eyed it in annoyance. “Jesus, Alphys, what did you do to my phone?” You commented. Well as soon as you parked and got out of the car, you would check your phone. 

You had not owned a bathing suit in a really long time. Your apartment did not have a pool and you were never shaved enough for the beach or you went out too late in the season or whatever. You always had a reason. But Jeremy's words had echoed in your mind and now you found yourself heading to the mall, a place where time stopped and people kept approaching you and rubbing weird creams and oils on your skin without your permission and the line for the bathroom was always a mile long. Ugh!

Your eyes widened when you got to the parking lot. “Holy shit, it’s packed,” you realized. You knew the mall was busy, but this seemed excessive. You managed to nab a parking spot near the edge and got out of the car. “The fuck is going on?” You wondered. Your phone was still vibrating and you picked it up, wincing slightly as the phone vibrated against your sensitive skin. (Man, Papyrus had a tough face). It seemed to be coming from the Undernet app. 

You tapped the app too quickly and accidentally accepted a friend request from CoolSkeleton95. You blinked. “When the fuck did he send me this request?” Papyrus never touched his phone after he asked you if he could have your bra. You made sure he didn’t have a chance after you slapped him and cursed him out. Who the fuck asks a girl for her bra? Even if your superior officer told you to ask, you don't just fucking ask for someone's bra. You groaned. You clicked on the notifications and read the following:

“Mettaton rumored to have been sighted in Sunset City!”

“Famous monster actor signing autographs!”

“MTT merchandise 10% off for next 6 hours!”

“Mettaton sighted at human Sunset Mall!” 

“Oh shit.” You walked in and watched in amazement as you saw a large crowd of excited monsters and humans. “How the hell am I going to get through this?”

~~~~~

“Papyrus!” A happy voice squealed as the lanky skeleton exited his vehicle. He looked toward the sound of the voice and broke into a huge grin. 

“Hello Frisk!” He greeted, catching the small boy in massive hug. He held the boy out. “My look at you! You’re getting taller every time I see you. Soon you will be even taller than me!” 

Frisk chuckled, and pulled out his phone. “Look! Look!” He exclaimed. Papyrus took the phone and peered at it. 

“Wowie! Mettaton is in Sunset City? I thought he was still in the baguette country,” Papyrus wondered. He looked down at the wiggly child. “Wait, weren’t you supposed to be gone until Wednesday?” 

“Mom let me come home early while she and Asgore finished up some treaty stuff,” Frisk explained. 

“Oh! Well that’s exciting.”

“Papyrus, oh good you’re here.” Papyrus looked up to see Undyne marching toward him and he stood up. 

“Hi Undyne! Thank you for the special visitor!” Papyrus thanked, giving Frisk an affectionate head rustle. Undyne gave them both a toothy grin. 

“No problem. Could you take the punk to go see Mettaton?” Undyne asked.

Papyrus lit up. “Really?!” He gasped. “That’s awfully nice of you, but are you sure you wouldn’t want to go see him instead?” He offered.

Undyne grimaced. “Bleh. I mean, no thanks. I can admire the guy’s style from afar pretty well thank you. But Frisk won’t shut up about him.” Frisk stuck out a tongue at her and she smiled warmly at him. 

“I learned some new dance moves,” Frisk explained, striking a dramatic pose. 

“I’m sure he, eh she? Whatever. I’m sure Mettaton will love them,” Undyne patted the child on the back. 

“I will do my best to get the tiny human to Mettaton!” Papyrus saluted. He opened the door for the child who hopped in eagerly. “Good bye Undyne!” 

“Bye knuckleheads. Don’t lose Frisk!” 

Frisk buckled in as Papyrus shifted his car into reverse and tore out back into the street. “So where is Mettaton right now?” Papyrus asked curiously. 

Frisk grinned. “Sunset Mall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Frisk and the Undernet! Hurray! (Now I can update those tags a bit)
> 
> We're off to meet Mettaton! (Well at least Frisk and Pap are. Lori just wants a damn bathing suit).


	28. Frisky and Flirty!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same deal as last chapter ~~~~~ = scene/POV change  
> The mall is seriously a terrifying place...especially for bathing suit shopping and monster fanatics. 
> 
> I has a tumblr: smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com So if ya'll find cool pics/draw cool pics or just want to say hi, feel free to hit me up there! Hope you guys enjoy the chapter. It is a bit of a longer one.

The two males drove briskly down the hill toward downtown as Frisk began to list even more reasons for why they should go to Sunset Mall. Not that Papyrus really needed any convincing when it came to seeing his favorite star. Frisk jumped up and down in the car seat. “Mettaton said he’s signing autographs too!”

“Oh no! I should have brought some paper,” Papyrus lamented. 

Frisk giggled again. “Don’t you already have an autograph?”

Papyrus smiled. “It’s lonely and it needs a friend.” 

The young boy spotted an upcoming green light and braced himself for Papyrus to stop suddenly only to be surprised when the skeleton continued through the light. He glanced at Papyrus who was animatedly talking about how the sentries have been setting up medical records at a clinic. They approached a red light and Frisk watched in amazement as Papyrus downshifted and eventually stopped the car. “Papyrus!” He cheered, “Your driving got a lot better while I was gone!” 

Papyrus beamed. “Of course it has. I have mastered the light puzzle.”

“Light puzzle?” Frisk prompted. 

“Nyeh heh heh heh!” Papyrus cackled. “Of course. Lori explained the rules of which lights to follow and how they change at different times.”

“Who’s Lori?”

“Hmm?”

Frisk poked the skeleton in the arm. “Who’s Lori?” The child knew that Papyrus had a hard time saying human names without defaulting to just calling them “human”. The fact that Frisk had only been gone for 2 weeks and now Papyrus was saying a different human’s name was immediately intriguing. 

Papyrus looked slightly uncomfortable. “Nyeh...well, please don’t be sad Frisk, but I, the Great Papyrus, went on a date while you were gone.” Frisk began to giggle. “Oh do not be upset! You are still my number one human! Platonically!” He added. 

Frisk smiled. “Oh, no I’m not upset!” He assured the nervous skeleton who breathed a sigh of relief. “What does she look like?”

Papyrus thought about it. "They might have a picture of her on the hospital website," he suggested, "try Sunset Animal Hospital."

Frisk nodded, opening his phone and loading the webpage. "I don't have good reception. Tell me what she looks like!"

“Well, she has two arms. Eh, two legs. Ooh! And a nose!”

Frisk grinned. “How about lips?” He winked. To the child’s delight, he watched as Papyrus blushed a deep shade of orange and nodded. Frisk leaned in close. “Did you kiss her?” The skeleton sputtered unintelligibly and Frisk broke out into laughter. “Papyrus and Lori sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

Papyrus’ looked confused and silently mouthed out the letters until he realized what they spelled. “Frisk!” he whined. 

Frisk giggled but he abated. “Sorry Papyrus,” he apologized. 

Papyrus pouted. “I accept your apology.” He sighed, “Alas, I do not think she and I will be seeing each other anymore.” 

“Why not? You’re the coolest,” Frisk insisted. 

Papyrus nodded. “True. But the last time I saw her, she said a lot of bad stuff and hit me.” 

Frisk shrugged. “Mom says that flirting.” 

“What?” 

Frisk scratched his head. “There was this girl in my class and she called me ugly and she would hit my shoulder. I asked mom about it because I did not want to hurt her back and mom says that’s how some girls act when they like someone.” 

“Really?” Papyrus asked in astonishment. 

“Yeah. I asked her to come play at my house and she said yes.” 

Papyrus gaped. “Human behavior is so strange,” he mumbled but he felt a smile starting to form at his jawline. If Frisk was telling the truth, then you may actually like him. And not just platonically. Like like like him. 

He had remembered being in this position when Frisk and he dated. The human had professed their undying love for Papyrus and the skeleton had felt bad that he had to ask that they should just be friends. Frisk had a good attitude about the rejection and laughed it off (now that Papyrus thought about it, Frisk had been giggling the entire date, but Papyrus had attributed the giggling to Frisk being nervous). 

And now he was in the position again. Except you didn’t exactly declare your feelings for him. And unlike Frisk, he did have greater than friendship feelings for you. Or at the very least, he didn’t want to make his relationship with you strictly platonic just yet. Maybe he just had to get you to declare your feelings first is all. 

~~~~~

You entered the east side of the mall and managed to push passed the first enthusiastic crowd of people with only a slight amount of difficulty. This rectangle monster must be really famous, you realized. And unfortunately the gathering seemed to be blocking the escalators to the store you wanted to go to. Sighing, you began to slide your way through. After a few minutes, your efforts were rewarded by the discovery of an out-of-order escalator. The escalator was covered in glitter. 

“Why the fuck is there glitter on the escalator?” You wondered. 

“Because he likes glitter.” You turned to see a cat like monster, anxiously fingering a cigarette...or was it a cigarette?

“Dude! Is that a blunt?” You asked incredulously.

“Are you a narc?” 

“What? No. I’m an RVT.” 

“Then yes.” He scoffed. “Seriously, you see a monster and the first thing you ask is if I’m carrying weed.”

You shrugged. “I guess? It’s been a couple crazy days.” 

“I would imagine. Don’t go lecturing me about how it affects my health. I’m 20 years old and I’ve already wasted my life.”

“Uh...that sucks.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, can you point me in the direction of the regular stairs?” 

“Yeah yeah, hang on a second.” He pulled out his phone and tapped into it briefly before putting it away. To your surprise, your own phone vibrated immediately afterwards. You glanced around as other people took out their phones and you followed suit. 

“Newflash, Mettaton has left Sunset Mall and heading downtown. Stay tuned for updates.” You read aloud. You glanced at the cat cat monster as the crowd began to disperse excitedly. “Did you do that?” 

“Yup.”

“So Mettaton is not actually here?” You asked.

The cat monster shuddered. “He’s probably not, but I’m not going to take any chances. He just messages me to update his location as he sees fit. He think it’s a good way to excite fans...and judging by the number of mindless zombies here, it works.” 

“Dude. Uh, so the stairs?”

“Yeah, follow me.” 

“You don’t have to take me,” you explained, “Uh...what’s your name?”

“Burgerpants, but please call me BP.” You raised an eyebrow and he groaned. “Don’t ask. And honestly, I can’t stand all this fucking glitter. Plus I need a smoke.” 

You followed the cat monster to a side door and pushed it open to see the fire stairs. You were about to thank the cat monster when you saw him trying to light up in the stairway. “Dude, BP! Hey you can’t smoke here!” 

“Why not? It said fire escape? Escape here to light fires?”

“No. It means we run here to escape fires. There’s smoke detectors here and if you start smoking, you’ll set off the alarms and they’ll evacuate the mall.”

“Oh. That’s not good.”

“Yeah, so if you can just wait at least until I’ve bought a bathing suit, that would be great,” you muttered. 

BP shot you a sneaky grin. “Heh heh, sure can lil lady.” He plastered an over the top fake smile on his face as you ascended the stairs. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to try one of our high quality MTT brand bathing suits? Guaranteed to make your body more rectangular than ever before?” 

“Fuck no.” 

“Good.”

~~~~~

Papyrus and Frisk strode through the West entrance of the mall, both boys chatting excitedly about the possibility of finding Mettaton. The star had managed to amass quite a following of fans ever since his debut from the Underground. Humanity did not know really what to make of him at first. But after being a guest on both Oprah and Ellen, his fame had been secured for life.

Thankfully the monster had not let the fame go to his head too much. He did not forget his roots and constantly posted and chatted with monsters on Undernet. 

Papyrus paused as his phone buzzed and checked the notification. “Aw...Mettaton has left the mall,” he pouted, “I'm sorry, Frisk. Would you like to go find him?”

Frisk shook his head and pointed to one of the stores. “Hey! Isn’t that Sans?” He asked. Papyrus followed the direction Frisk pointed toward and squinted his sockets. Sure enough, it was Sans alright. He was walking out of an arts and crafts store with a small blue bag. Frisk looked up at Papyrus. “Hey! Are you guys making Sans a battle armor suit?”

Papyrus shook his head. “Not that he's told me. Oh I'm going to be very upset if he is trying to make one without me,” he harrumphed. He quickly strode toward Sans. Frisk began to follow when he spotted Burgerpants in the distance. The cat monster was not alone. A young woman was walking alongside him toward the stairs.

Frisk squinted and recognized you from the hospital website with a cheerful grin. He ran over to Papyrus who had already engaged Sans in conversation.“Hey Pap! Look!” Frisk pointed. 

Papyrus waved at Frisk. “One moment, human.” He crossed his arms and looked at Sans. “What are you doing here? And please, no puns, Sans,” Papyrus asked. 

Sans shrugged. “just picking up some thread, bro. don't worry about any puns. i won't string you along.” Papyrus groaned as Sans spotted Frisk. “hey kid. we didn't really get a chance to talk earlier. how's the diplomatic stuff going?”

Frisk waved. “I think it's going well. Mom and Asgore are finishing up a few things so they sent me home early.”

Sans smiled warmly at the mention of Toriel. “heh you’re not causing any heartache for your goat momma, are you?” He seemed to tense up at the question and observed Frisk.

Frisk shook his head. “Nope. I'm being good still, don't worry.” Sans visibly relaxed. 

“thanks pal.”

“Sans, are you listening to me?” Papyrus shouted. 

“oops, sorry pap. what did you say?” Frisk waved good bye and began to run off. Sans waved after him and looked up at his younger brother who did not appear to notice that Frisk had left. 

“You should buy hearing aids instead of thread,” Papyrus sighed. “Why are you buying thread? We have some at home, right?”

Sans nodded. “yeah but the human ripped my jacket last night.” 

Papyrus shot him a hesitant look. “Why would Lori rip your jacket?” 

“she said my jacket was tearable.” Papyrus’ face was blank for a moment before he slammed his glove over it. 

“ARRGGHHHHH!!! SHE’S JUST AS BAD AS YOU!!!!” Papyrus regained his composure. “Come human, let us go eat lunch before Sans’ bad humor rubs off on you,” he groaned, sticking out his hand for Frisk to take it. 

But there was nobody there. “frisk’s gone,” Sans hummed. His younger brother’s sockets widened. 

“WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE!” He whirled around in a circle to see if Frisk was hidden behind his tall stature but the child was nowhere to be found. “OH MY GOD! SANS! I LOST THE HUMAN!” 

Sans glanced around lazily. “you sure did, bro. good job,” he smiled, giving his brother a thumbs up. 

“Sans! You bonehead! I wasn’t trying to lose the human! Undyne trusted me to-” Papyrus’ voice caught in his throat. “Un-Undyne! She’s going to be so mad! Come on! We’ve got to find him!”

Papyrus grabbed Sans’ hand and began to quickly drag his older brother through the mall. Sans glanced over at the working escalator near them and saw Frisk ascending to the second floor. He saluted the child who saluted him back and ran off. Sans wasn’t exactly sure what Frisk was planning, but if the child could survive the Underground, then the mall would be a piece of cake for him. 

~~~~~

“Hey sweetheart! Wonderful to hear your voice! How’s it going?” Jeremy’s voice carried melodiously over your phone’s speaker. You smiled at the familiarity of it. You could hear other voices in the background. 

“It’s going well. Hey, I made it to the bathing suit store. You got a minute or two for me to pick your brain or are you at work?” There was a shuffle. 

“Yeah, but it’s dead right now. Hang on, let me get some space from the guys.” The other voices faded out. “Bathing suit shopping eh? What are your options?” 

“Well I’ve got a one piece in my hand right now. I’m a little nervous to try on a two piece,” you admitted, somewhat shyly. You were not skinny. 

“Better play it safe. Stick to the one piece,” Jeremy instructed you. 

“You really think I should get the one piece bathing suit?” you asked as you balanced the phone on your shoulder, holding up the bathing suit. 

“Maybe, send me a pic.” You pulled out your phone and shot a quick picture of the suit in front of you. 

“You get it yet?” There was silence and then the sound of a couple of guys all groaning and yelling. Your eyes widened. “Motherfucker, Jeremy!! Were you showing your coworkers my photo?” 

“No! No!” Jeremy insisted. “Ugh! These fucking guys are just being creepers is all, hang on let me look at the photo now that they’re gone.” There was more silence. “Are you going to send pics of you in them?” Jeremy’s voice asked over the line. 

“Nope,” you snickered, “especially not now.” 

“You’re no fun. Yeah, better stick with the one piece suit. Hey! Does it come in black?”

“Black? Why black?” 

“It’s my favorite color. It’s cool and edgy. Plus black is slimming,” Jeremy chuckled. 

“Hardy har har. Fuck you,” you laughed, “Alright, I’ll see what I can do. Later, Jer Bear.” 

“See ya!” You disconnected the phone and sighed.

You held up the one piece bathing suit and made a face. Jeremy liked black as a color? That was weird. And that black was slimming comment? You made another face as you got in the checkout line. Well you were in line and that was that. 

“Oh noooo. Where is he?” Your ears perked up at the voice and you peeked around but could not determine the source. “I really hope I’m not lost,” a child’s voice continued. 

That got your attention and you left the line to follow the voice. You found a young boy, couldn’t have been older than 11 or so, wandering around the store, looking very worried. You glanced around but no one else even bothered to acknowledge him. “Hey, kid, are you okay?” You asked gently. 

The little boy turned toward you. “I can’t find my uncle,” his voice quivered. 

“Your uncle brought you into the women’s bathing suit section?” You asked before you could stop yourself. Man, you sucked with children. 

The boy shook his head. “No, I wanted to get a pair of swim trunks and when I turned around, he was gone. I’ve looked all over the store.”

You gritted your teeth. You could bring the boy to a cashier and let them deal with it, but the employees appeared overwhelmed enough as it was. And there was something in this child’s eyes that compelled you to help them. “Well, come with me and let’s look for him. What’s your name?” You asked, extending a hand. 

“I’m Frisk,” The boy greeted, taking your hand and shaking it far too happily than you would have thought for a sad lost boy. Man that name sounded familiar but you couldn’t place where you had heard it. 

“Frisk, eh? That’s a cool name. I’m Lori.” You made a move to retrieve your hand but the small boy giggled and swung your hand happily. You chuckled and began to walk hand in hand with the boy out of the store, leaving the bathing suit behind. “So what’s your uncle look like?” 

“Oh, he’s tall and athletic...and good looking.” You nearly choked on your own spit and looked to the the boy but he still maintained the same benevolent smile. 

“Ah...did you say he was good looking?” You questioned, making sure you heard the boy right.

The boy nodded. “Yup. And he’s really kind and he’s good with kids. He likes to read too.” You started to chuckle at the child’s insistence. 

“Sounds like a cool guy.” You smiled. 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” The little boy blurted out. 

You felt yourself color slightly. “Ah..No. I don’t.” 

The little boy swung your hand excitedly. “That’s awesome! My uncle is single too!” You didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Eh, how old’s your uncle?” 

“I think he’s in his 20s,” Frisk placed a finger thoughtfully to his chin. 

“Oh. Then I’m surprised he’s single,” you managed to joke. 

“Maybe it’s because he’s bald,” Frisk attempted to look somber even as he smiled. 

You blinked in surprise, forgetting to scan ahead of you for potential uncle matches. “Wait, what?” That was pretty young for a guy to go bald, but it wasn’t unheard of. “That’s different.” 

Frisk nodded. “I think he would be really happy if he met a girl who liked him even if he is bald.” 

“I don’t care if someone’s bald. Lots of good looking people are bald.” 

“I’m so happy that you said that. Will you go out with him?’

“I’m sorry?” 

“Will you go out with my uncle?” Frisk took your other hand and looked up to you with a humongous smile. 

You laughed hesitantly. “Uhh. I don’t think he would go out with someone he doesn’t know.” 

“Oh, he likes you a lot.”

“Excuse me?” You blinked. 

“I mean, I think he would really like you a lot,” Frisk jumped and down. “Please ask him out when we find him! He can be kinda shy sometimes.” 

“Er, alright, I’ll try.” You knew you were setting yourself up for failure, but you were used to rejection and disappointment. What a depressing thought but it made you smile sardonically.

“No, promise me you’ll ask!” Frisk demanded excitedly, pulling one of his hands away and sticking out a pinky finger. “Pinky promise?” 

How could you resist a pinky promise? Your inner child glowed and you extended a pinky to shake Frisk’s. “Alright, alright, pinky promise!” You laughed heartily. “So what’s your uncle’s name?”

“Oh! His name is-!”

“Frisk! Darling! Is that you?” A strange voice called out and you both quickly turned toward the sound of the voice. 

“Holy shit.” You gaped. 

It was Mettaton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Burgerpants and Frisk, the ultimate wingman...er boy. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter but I'm going to have even more fun writing the next one!
> 
> Anyone have a favorite scene/line in this chapter? Share it with me below! :D


	29. Introducing Mettaton! (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton's first chapter should be as fabulous as him! So we have an extra long chapter in honor of his first appearance.
> 
> On another awesome note, we have more fanart! Drawn by the amazing frickfishstick, they have drawn the spay and neuter scene! (You know what I'm talking about) Go check it out and give it some love!
> 
>  
> 
> [Frickfishstick Supports Spaying and Neutering](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)

It was the robotic monster alright, although his appearance was slightly altered. He was still a rectangle with a wheel but on his head was a bright yellow sunhat. He somehow wore gaudy (but most likely very expensive sunglasses) over his brightly flashing monitor and had a very flashy purse. He appeared much more ready for summer than you did.

“Frisk! My goodness! Look how tall and handsome you’ve gotten.” The robot cooed, wrapping the small child in a large hug. He placed Frisk back on the ground and eagerly examined the human. “Of course, I see you still insist you keep your hair the same. I sincerely wish Toriel would let me take you to Milan. They have some of the best human hairdressers I have ever encountered.” Mettaton glanced around. “Where is your mother? Surely she wouldn’t have sent you out alone.”

Frisk smiled and shook his head. “No, I didn’t come alone.” Mettaton looked up and finally noticed you.

You’re not sure how a rectangle could be coy, but Mettaton certainly was. “Well well, my darling, I did not realize you were on a romantic rendezvous.” He wheeled over to you quickly and began to study you intently. “Although really now, a mall seems hardly the place for a date unless it’s a shopping date!” He exclaimed.

The accidental accusation of pedophilia made you jump and you quickly shook your head. “Oh no no no!” You quickly waved your hands.

“Oh sweetheart, there is no need to deny it. Frisk is an amazing human and you should feel very lucky that he chose you as a romantic partner. Afterall, it’s not everyday that a woman gets to court the savior of monsterkind!” Mettaton declared dramatically.

“Savior of monsterkind?” You echoed quietly as the cogs in your brain began to turn.

Frisk giggled. “No, Mettaton. Lori’s not my date,” he explained. The robot turned back to Frisk curiously as you were trying to think. Your phone beeped with a notification. It was Undernet again.

“Hmm, not your date. Are you perhaps bringing her for someone else?” Frisk nodded.

“I got lost from my uncle. And when we find him, I’m going to have her go on a date with him,” Frisk explained with a wink. You were too busy tapping at your phone, trying to get your phone to unfreeze, to pay them attention. There seemed to be interference. Mettaton did not appear to pose any danger to Frisk so you stepped away from the duo to try to get the phone to work.

Mettaton leaned in closer. “My devious little cupid,” he gasped, “How daring! I love it!!!” He pulled down his glasses slightly. “Uncle? Surely you don’t mean…?” Frisk placed a finger to his lips. “Ooh! A secret eh. Whisper it in my auditory sensor then!” Frisk in to whisper to the robot as you finally opened up Undernet.

“HELP! I LOST THE HUMAN! DOES ANYONE HAVE HIM??” The status at the top of the newsfeed read. You saw comments and clicked on them.

“NAPSTABLOOK22: He’s not here….sorry...

“ALPHYS: Y-you did what? Undyne is going to be so mad if she finds out??

“StrongFish91: YOU DID WHAT?! THIS BETTER BE A JOKE!!”

“CoolSkeleton95: HAHA. OF COURSE IT’S A JOKE! JUST A FUNNY JOKE!”

“CoolSkeleton95: (PSST, SERIOUSLY, I LOST THE HUMAN, HAS ANYONE SEEN HIM?)”

“ALPHYS: Papyrus, just because you put it in ellipses, doesn’t mean Undyne won’t see it…”

“StrongFish91: PAPYRUS, PICK UP YOUR PHONE!”

You read the comments in confusion. Well this is way too much of a coincidence if Frisk and the human were not the same. You looked up in alarm as someone placed a hand on your shoulder.

“You buy your bathing suit yet? I really want to smoke,” BP asked. He spotted Mettaton and froze. “Sh-shit.”

Mettaton darkened his lights at BP. “Burgerpants! There you are! You haven’t been slacking off, have you? I can’t have my employees being less than spectacular when they’re in public!” He ended with a smile.

“N-no sir. I updated your statuses just like you said!”

Mettaton’s lights returned to their normal glow. “Perfect. Please pocket those cigarettes in front of Frisk, darling. I would confiscate them from you, but I’m feeling exceptionally kindhearted at the moment. Have you said hi to Frisk and his uncle’s date?” BP visibly relaxed as Frisk waved at him

“Hi BP!”

“Hey little buddy!” He grinned. He jutted a thumb at you. “Yeah, we met earlier. The glitter bomb you arranged took out the escalator so she and I met in the stairs.” He watched you curiously. “I thought you were buying a bathing suit, I didn’t know you were going on a date with one of the skelebros.”

“I’m doing what now?” You asked.

Mettaton clasped his hands together eagerly. “A bathing suit! Oh! I should really get another one with how beautiful the weather has been! BP, did you tell her about our special MTT brand swimsuits?”

“Yes, sir, I did.”

“Excellent! I’m very proud of your allegiance to MTT!”

You looked to Frisk for answers and realized the boy was no longer there. You spotted him leaning over the railing and you quickly darted over to place a hand on him to prevent him from falling over. You noted with some irony that the escalator, although glittery, was now in working order. “Frisk, uh, what’s going on?”

Frisk pointed eagerly. “There they are!” He exclaimed eagerly, pointing to the first floor. You followed his finger and spotted two familiar individuals walking around. Well, one was walking and the other clearly was panicking.

“Oh hell no-”

“Sans! Papyrus! I’m up here!” Frisk shouted. You winced in preparation for Papyrus’ booming voice but it never came. Mettaton wheeled over, dragging a sweating BP.

“Do you see them, darling?” You attempted to sneak away.

“Yes, but they can’t hear me.” Frisk glumly stated. “I guess I better call them.”

Mettaton tsked. “No need darling. I’ve got just the thing. Lori, no need to go get them, just wait here,” Mettaton called to you, freezing you in your tracks. “Burgerpants, hand me my megaphone.”

BP sweated anxiously. “Uh, I don’t have it, sir.”

Mettaton groaned. “I suppose it is up to me, just a simple, yet very famous and talented, star to reunite this pining desperate family! Very well. Lift me up then. I’m afraid I must call them with my own immaculate voice.” With much difficulty, BP lifted the robot star up at the railing. The star adjusted his hat, cleaned his glasses and polished his display monitor while BP struggled under his weight. Finally, he adjusted one of the knobs under his display monitor and spoke in a booming voice. “Oh my love! Please run away! Monster King forbids your stay!”

“What’s he doing?” You whispered to Frisk.

Frisk smiled awkwardly. “Uh, it’s from one of his plays. Papyrus is a really big Mettaton fan, so-yup, he sees us now!” You glanced over to see Papyrus and Sans looking up. Papyrus seemed to be shouting something back but it was really hard to hear him over Mettaton’s theater voice.

“Humans must live far apart! Even if it breaks my heart!” Mettaton woefully cried out.

“Huh, well it seems to be working,” you noted. Papyrus had already dashed for the escalator as Sans continued his leisurely walk after him. “What’s the play about?”

Frisk shrugged. “I think it’s about monster-human romance but I’m not sure. Last time he sang these lines, he tried to kill me afterwards.”

“It’s a romance? That’s kinda cute- he did what?!” You asked incredulously.

“Oh, don’t worry. Alphys was able to turn off the fire before he could incinerate me.” This made you worry even more but Frisk seemed to remember this fondly or at the very least, repressed the memory, so you dropped it. Papyrus was almost up the escalator at this point. You glanced down and made “eye contact” with Sans who was looking up at you. He winked at you and waved and you waved back awkwardly.

“They’ll put you in the dungeon, it’ll suck. And then you’ll die a lot!” What the fuck lyrics were these? Your confusion disappeared when a booming voice finished the song.

“Really sad you’re gonna die! Cry cry cry! So sad it’s happening!” You turned in bewilderment as Papyrus proudly declared the final lyrics to the song in front of Mettaton.

Mettaton gave a delighted round of applause as BP finally collapsed under the weight. “Marvelous, darling! Just marvelous!” He praised as he rolled off the prostate BP, “You should really audition for my next production!” Mettaton cheered.

“You really think so?” Papyrus exclaimed, “Wowie, hearing that from a star makes it even more special!” He spotted Frisk and gave a not very manly squeal of excitement. “Oh human! I am so happy you are here! Undyne will not murder me now!” He added happily, hugging Frisk tightly.

“Hi Papyrus! Sorry I ran out on you!” Frisk apologized as Papyrus let go of you.

“That’s alright, I’m just glad you’re safe. And that you found Mettaton. Oh, and burgerman, and uh uh…” Papyrus’ eye sockets settled on you and he blushed, “Oh, uh hello again.”

“Uh yeah hey,” you felt your cheeks color as you waved at him.

Mettaton watched this exchange with rapt interest. The robot monster knew that Papyrus was easily his number one fan. There wasn’t much that could completely disrupt the dedicated skeleton’s attention when Mettaton was in the room. And here you were, just standing there, and you had the skeleton flushed and anxious. It was different, suspenseful...Dramatic! If Mettaton had been in his other form, his lips would have curled into a devious smile.

He grabbed the still paralyzed BP and dragged him to the side. “Listen here, Burgerpants. I want you to stay here and tell me what Papyrus and the human have to say.”

“Wh-what?” BP wasn’t sure he heard Mettaton correctly.

“I’m promoting you temporarily to MTT journalist!” Mettaton explained.

“Huh?”

“Spy on them, sweetheart,” Mettaton explained, “Really now, must I explain everything to you?”

“Eh, sure, I guess. But why?”

Mettaton winked internally. “For show business, darling, for show business.”

Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but feel Frisk’s smile beaming on you. “So...your uncle is Papyrus?” You asked.

“Yup! Sans and Papyrus are my uncles!” Frisk proudly stated.

Papyrus proudly smiled. “Yes, it is true. The Queen made us honorary uncles. Although we aren’t biologically related, Sans and I take our duties very seriously.”

“Huh, so that’s why you left him in a bathing suit store?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I did what?” Papyrus looked absolutely perplexed.

Frisk let out a guilty giggle. “Sorry, I may be the one that actually walked away and got lost.”

You blushed and looked at Papyrus. “Ah. In that case, I owe you an apology,” you admitted, “I’m sorry Papyrus.”

“I forgive you?” Papyrus asked just as confused as before.

Frisk nudged you. “Oh, that’s not the only thing you owe him.”

If you had been blushing before, your face was beet red now. “Uh yeah...shoot. Uh, say, Papyrus, er...”

Mettaton burst into the scene, depositing a still crumpled BP at your feet. “Well, I still haven’t nearly had as much time to spend with Frisk as you have, my dear Papyrus,” Mettaton announced smoothly, “would you mind if I steal him away for a moment or two while you speak with your charming companion?”

Papyrus sweated. “Uh, you don’t have to leave…”

“Oh but I insist,” the robot said in a way that there was no arguing with.

Frisk nodded and began to walk away with the robot but now before quickly running back to you and reminding you, “You promised.” You tapped your pinkie to your head, making the child smile before running back to follow the metallic monster.

Papyrus and you were left alone with each other. “So, Frisk finding me was kinda ironic, wasn’t it?” You chuckled, breaking the silence.

Papyrus wiped his brow. “Very. But I’m so glad! I would have been very sad if he had found an unfriendly human. He must have known that you are a good human. Frisk is a very good judge of character,” He glowed. You brushed aside any sneaking suspicions that Papyrus could have sent Frisk as that seemed somewhat conniving for the gentle giant.

“How’d he lose you guys?” You asked curiously.

Papyrus humphed. “We came to the mall hoping to find Mettaton but found Sans slacking off as usual from his job. I went to talk with him and Frisk must have slipped away while I was distracted.” Remembering how easily you were able to ditch him that night in Grillby’s warehouse, you didn’t doubt this explanation for a second.

“Speaking of Sans, where is he?” You asked.

“hey, sorry i’m late,” Sans spoke up, walking up to you guys from who knows where. You know you didn’t see him ascend the escalator but you kept your mouth shut. He was carrying a small blue shopping bag. To your dismay, his jacket was still torn.

“Sans!” Papyrus admonished, “you’re so lucky I recognized Mettaton’s wonderful performance otherwise we would both still be looking for Frisk!”

“even if you hadn’t recognized it, i’m sure we would have heard it. my head is ringing and i don’t even have ears,” Sans chuckled. He gave you a broad smile. “hey kid. heard frisk saying you were supposed to ask pap something?”

Your eyes widened. “How the fuck did you hear that?” You gasped.

“Language!” Papyrus huffed. “Really now, you and Undyne use so much profanity.” He watched you curiously, “Did you have something to ask me?”

You laughed nervously. “Haha, okay, so here’s the thing. When I found Frisk, he and I were trying to find his uncle. He started telling me his uncle was nice, kind, great with kids...good looking.” You tried to ignore Sans elbowing Papyrus in the ribs as Papyrus nodded enthusiastically.

“Frisk is right! I encompass all of those qualities. I see he is still smitten with my muscular skeletal frame,” Papyrus asserted.

“i see frisk didn’t mention humble,” Sans snickered.

Your heartbeat was getting a bit faster now. Man, you hadn’t expected an audience but both Sans and Papyrus were watching you eagerly. Well Papyrus was. Sans was enjoying the show. “Yeah, well, before we ran into Mettaton, Frisk made me promise to ask his uncle to go on a date.”

“Oh that’s nice.”

“Yeah.”

“So, who would be going on a date with Frisk’s uncle?” Papyrus asked.

Sans burst out laughing as you facepalmed. “Me. Papyrus, I’m asking you out on a date. Will you go on a date with me?”

“OH!” Papyrus’ face colored a dark orange. “Uh, well…I’m flattered, really, I am. Ah.” He shifted uncomfortably. “But I’m afraid my answer is…no.”

 

No?

 

You blinked in surprise. Your chest sank. You weren’t sure you heard him correctly. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” You asked.

“I said no?” Papyrus’ voice came out a little unsteady, but he repeated his earlier answer.

Even Sans appeared to have been caught off guard by his brother’s response. His grin faltered and he turned to his brother. “bro, are you sure?” He asked, shuffling in his slippers as Papyrus nodded.

You tried to open your mouth to say something but felt your throat was unnaturally dry and tight. Your nervousness had vanished and you felt yourself growing embarrassed instead. Not that you weren’t before but now, it was a much more dead set feeling that gripped you. You felt your rapidly beating heart sink into your gut as you realized two things.

One, you really did have an overwhelming crush on this goofy skeleton.

And two, he just rejected you.

Papyrus seemed to notice your change and became distressed. “Uh, human?” Heh, he couldn’t even try to say your name, could he? You gritted your teeth.

“Yeah?” You squeaked.

“Are you alright?” You nodded mutely. Papyrus didn’t look like he entirely believed you but he smiled gently at you. “Well I’m glad. I am very great, so you understand right?”

Your eyes narrowed at the comment. Your image of Papyrus full of hopeful confidence was immediately marred by the smugness and pride that his statement carried. “Are you saying you’re too great to go on a date with me?” You asked quietly.

Papyrus’ eye sockets opened in shock. “Wh-what?” He asked, “eh, that’s not what I meant! I would really like-!”

You huffed. You needed to leave. You wanted as much distance from the tall skeleton to go lick your wounds in the privacy of your own home. Fuck the bathing suit. You were done. “It’s fine. It’s fine!” You felt a skeletal hand firmly grab your arm as you turned away and you rolled your eyes. “Papyrus, just-” you began as you turned back.

It was Sans. Your eyes arched in surprise. He held onto your arm. “i accept.”

You studied his face in confusion. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Papyrus’ own arm had been outstretched to stop you but it now wavered hesitantly in the air as Sans touched you. “You accept what?” You asked.

“i’ll go on a date with you.” Sans grinned broadly. Papyrus jumped in surprise.

“Er, Sans, I think the human was asking me,” Papyrus explained, nervously glancing between you and his brother, trying to read your expressions.

You stared dumbfoundedly at Sans as he shrugged. “the kid just said for you to ask his uncle out on a date. he didn’t say which one.”

“I-i-well shit, I guess you’re right,” you laughed humorlessly as Sans released you, “Alright, well when do you want to go?”

“well i should be at work, but i guess i could take a break and we could go now for a bit. unless, hey pap!” Your attention shifted to Papyrus who had been watching you...intently? No, that wasn’t it. His expression was hard to read but it looked far from the smugness that seemed to drip from his earlier comment. He looked almost panicked.

At the call of his name, Papyrus turned to Sans with a somewhat strained smile. “Yes, Sans?”

“are you sure you don’t want to go with lori?” Sans checked.

“Er..well…no. Can I talk to you for a moment?” Papyrus asked.

“maybe later, bro,” Sans smiled sympathetically. Papyrus finally realized that his arm was still outstretched toward you and he brought it back to his side silently. Sans turned his attention to you. “alright then. let’s go.” Sans extended a hand and you took it carefully. “c’mon i think i saw a hotdog stand back there. let’s hit that up.”

As you and Sans walked away, you couldn’t help but steal a glance at Papyrus. The normally bright and cheery skeleton looked absolutely despondent and you couldn’t help but feel pity for the poor guy. Even if you wanted nothing more to do with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rejected?!
> 
> What the hell, Papyrus? Readers! Why has this happened?!  
> On a side note, holy crap! We're going on a date with the wrong skeleton!  
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> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
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> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
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> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
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	30. Mini Chapter: Taking Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #BlameJeremy is growing strong! Keep it up! It thrives on your mutual hatred and disgust for the good looking douche. 
> 
> The Amazing Gingler has quickly drawn scenes from the last chapter in two posts! I highly recommend checking them out, showing them some love and go through their other artwork. 
> 
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)
> 
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)
> 
>  
> 
> Remember, if you want to draw anything from this story, even if it's stick figures, I would love to see it and will share it in these chapter notes as well as on my tumblr http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/! If this keeps up, I will keep a list of the links of the artwork at the end of the Chapter notes from this point on. 
> 
> Now onto a Mini Chapter...PAP WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!

Inwardly, Papyrus wanted to give a triumphant shout but he kept himself calm. Mostly. He felt his face color but there wasn’t much he could do about that. Here you were, asking him on a date. Just like he wanted. He could hug Frisk a thousand times as thanks. However…

~~~~~

“I’m not familiar with this game you’re speaking of. What was it called again?”

“It’s called playing hard to get.” Papyrus stared at Jeremy, perplexed. “Hang on, have a seat, I’ll explain it a bit better.” 

“What are the rules?” Papyrus asked as he sat down next to the human.

Jeremy beamed. “You don’t say yes. When a women asks you for something, don’t say yes. At least right away.”

Papyrus appeared distraught. “But the Great Papyrus is known for his helpfulness and generosity!” He protested. Jeremy shook his head.

“When you say no at first, women think you’re more valuable. They want you more if they can’t have you.” The skeleton mulled this information. This logic seemed weird. How would saying no to someone make them want you more. His thoughts drifted to you. Now that he thought about it, you had said no to his initial decision to have a second date. And here he was, in your home after all that. He would really like to see you again after this. But as of this morning, you were yelling at him. And not yelling in encouragement like Undyne did.

“Would this work for...dating?”

Jeremy flashed him a devious smile. “It always works for dating. I can’t think of a better way to tell a woman that you are indeed the Great Papyrus.” Papyrus felt his chest swell at the compliment. Jeremy tapped him on the shoulder drawing his attention. “Hey, let’s just keep this advice between us guys. If women were to find out, no man could ever find that special someone.” Papyrus nodded. He could keep a secret. “Let’s see if she’s got breakfast going for us. Bacon or not! Here we come!”

~~~~~

Jeremy’s words echoed in his skull. Play hard to get? Say the opposite of what you want. What if he said yes to you now and when the date ended, that was it. Maybe you wouldn’t go on another one. But if he said no now...maybe you would want to go on more than one date because you would want him more? The logic still was a bit murky to him. He felt torn whether to follow Frisk’s advice to just ask you or try Jeremy’s tactics out. 

Yet...

Jeremy already had a third date planned with you and here Papyrus was trying to get a second one with you. Surely, your date wouldn’t have recommended advice that he himself didn’t use. That would be dishonest and he seemed like a swell guy. Papyrus felt his chest swell confidently and he gave his answer. 

“I’m afraid my answer is…no.”

~~~~~

“So my little Pappy has been dating? And not just any female, but a human one?” Mettaton mused as Frisk filled him on what he knew. The robot tapped the side of his body thoughtfully. “She’s a rather curvy thing. I almost thought Papyrus would go for a more skeletal looking girl or perhaps a certain rectangular individual,” he mused. 

Frisk huffed. “I think she’s really cute!” 

Mettaton soothed the younger boy. “Of course she is darling. Now what was that you were whispering to me about turning 10?”

“I turned 10 years old last week!” Frisk announced proudly. 

“That's wonderful! The double digits! How was the party?” 

“It was a lot of fun, but um, can I ask a favor?” Mettaton nodded. “I think mom felt really bad that I wasn’t able to see my friends for my birthday since we were stuck in the embassy during it. I want to have one when mom and dad come back. Would you help me plan a surprise one?”

Mettaton hummed. “Well it’s a twist on the whole surprise party bit since you already know that the party is coming but otherwise, I would absolutely love to. Do you have an idea where you would like to have it?” 

“I was thinking the beach. We’ve been kinda cooped up inside a lot. Dad would really like to see the sun again. Would that be alright?” 

“That would be just fine, Frisk.” Mettaton reassured. “I think that will work just perfectly,” he smirked, eyeing you and Papyrus nervously talking as Sans stood nearby.

Frisk glowed with excitement. “Thank you so much!”

Mettaton scoffed. “Dear, a beach birthday party is nothing compared to what your family is doing for monster kind.” His screen illuminated with anticipation. “It will be a truly fantastic party. I will not be pulling any stops.” He eyed the human who suddenly appeared concerned as he looked past the robot. 

“Something’s wrong,” Frisk mumbled. Mettaton wheeled around just in time to watch you walk away with Sans, leaving a very distraught Papyrus. BP was still lying on the ground, looking extremely useless still, at least in Mettaton’s “eyes”. Frisk darted over to the tall skeleton. The monster host resisted the urge to throw his arms around Papyrus and instead leaned down to BP. 

“What happened? Why are they not going on a romantic date?” Mettaton hissed. Ideas for news headlines of ‘Puppy Love: Guard in training takes human date on romantic outing’ were quickly evaporating. 

BP coughed. “Uh, well she asked him out. And he said no.”

Mettaton gasped. “He said...no?”

“Yeah, surprised everyone. Looks like it really hit that girl hard. Sans ended up taking the girl out on a date.” 

If Mettaton had been drinking, he would have spit it out. “He did?! Why?” 

“Looks like he felt bad. The kid had apparently made her promise to ask out his uncle on a date. So when one uncle said no, the other took the opportunity. He’s taking her to a hot dog stand around here.”

Now this was VERY interesting. Could this be the beginning of a love triangle perhaps? He sincerely hoped so. Paris had been so boring. City of love? Yeah right. But this? This was much more entertaining and thrilling to him. Whichever way this would play out, he secretly hoped it would be messy, wild and passionate. 

“Wait, did you say they are having their date in the mall?” Mettaton realized. BP nodded. “Oh, oh. I have the most awful idea! Do you have your MTT brand electronic far range listening device?” 

“Oh, Mettaton, no!”

“Oh Mettaton yes! Now go scope us out on a location!”

~~~~~

Papyrus felt absolutely wretched. The second the word “no” came out of his mouth, he immediately realized that was the wrong answer. When you gave him the second chance, he could have rejoiced at the opportunity for redemption. This is exactly what he wanted. You were asking him out. He could fix it. He could say...no...again. 

Darn.

He didn’t want to break his promise to your friend and attempted to hint at his reason for refusing you, but you did not appear to understand. However, the immediate transformation over your appearance told him one thing. You did like him back. Or at least you had. He had tried to stop you from leaving.

Even Sans did not understand the hint and had insisted on using the date offer for himself instead, much to your surprise. Papyrus could have rolled his eyes at that if he had them. Of course Sans would do anything to get out of work, but this was a bit much. Sans! Jeremy had only sworn Papyrus to secrecy from females. Surely other males were safe to tell?

Papyrus shivered remembering how he had asked Sans to talk to him before he insisted on going on the date. It would be fine! Papyrus could just explain to him the reason behind his refusal and then Sans could tell you so technically Papyrus still kept the secret. Except, Sans had declined. Sans always was willing to hear Papyrus out but he said no. Could his brother be trying to play hard to get by refusing Pap? Did Sans want to date him? Papyrus scrunched up his face. No, that thought made even less sense to the skeleton.

His heart thumped wildly as another foreign thought snuck into his cranium. Perhaps...Sans had an interest in you as well? No. Sans never mentioned it to him and surely that would be something he would like to know. Papyrus could have laughed at the idea if he felt the slightest shiver of joy but at the moment, he still felt like garbage. A small hand tapped him on the shoulder and he blinked in surprise as he spotted Frisk.

Frisk sighed. “Papyrus, what happened?” 

“I tried to play hard to get,” Papyrus admitted, “so since she promised to take your uncle out, Sans is taking her out.”

Frisk patted his friend on the arm. “I’m sorry. I’m sure he will tell her a lot of bad jokes,” he tried helpfully. 

“I suppose...or he’ll just come up with new ones which he will use on me tonight,” Papyrus groaned. Either situation was terrible. 

“Oh sweetheart! I couldn’t help but overhear what happened! I’m so sorry!” Mettaton called out, rolling toward the two. 

Papyrus shook his head. “Oh, thank you, Mettaton. She and I are just friends though so it will be alright.” 

“Nonsense! You and her are clearly not friends!” Mettaton declared. Papyrus blinked in surprise.

“Are you sure?” Papyrus asked, scratching his head. “She and I do talk about things that friends talk about.” 

Mettaton shook his frame. “Not quite what I meant, but let’s not get distracted. No, you are not only friends but you are also -pause for dramatic effect- Star crossed lovers!” Frisk posed eliciting an invisible smile from the robot. 

Papyrus gasped, clearly affected by the dramatic pause and pose. “No! Mettaton! What makes you say that? Eh, not that I am doubting your expertise!” Papyrus hurriedly added, not wanting to accidentally hurt anyone else’s feelings today. He had already done enough damage with you.

Mettaton wrapped a metallic arm around Papyrus and yanked him down to his level sharply. “Of course, darling, of course. But really it all make sense. Don’t you feel like cosmic forces outside of your control are hindering you from taking your relationship to the next level?”

“...yes?” Papyrus asked, feeling his face heat up but that might have been from how close he was to Mettaton’s brightly flashing display monitor. 

“Correct! You are Romeo and she is Juliet...except you are both of age and will have yours truly guiding you toward romantic fruition instead of some dingy old friar who offers drugs to children.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Mettaton says he’s going to help you with Lori,” Frisk attempted to translate although the child wasn’t sure of all the phrases the star used. 

“Oh!” Papyrus’ sockets widened. “That-that is very generous of you! But are you sure you want to use your time doing that? Surely, you must have other engagements you need to keep? You are very much beloved, afterall.” 

Mettaton released his hold on Papyrus to fan his himself. “Absolutely! But because I am so loved means that I am the perfect monster to help you find true love and happiness.”

Papyrus nodded his head. “That makes perfect sense. Thank you! Is there anything I can do to repay you?” 

Mettaton’s screen glinted mischievously for a moment. “Oh, I do have something in mind. I’ll have you go through some paperwork, who knows, maybe sign a page or two while we grab lunch.” 

“Paperwork?” Frisk asked. 

“Oh there’s Burgerpants now,” Mettaton dodged the question, pointing toward the incoming monster, “Let’s follow him and we’ll talk while we’re seated. He found the perfect spot, right Burgerpants?” 

BP sweated anxiously. “Yes sir. You can see the entire first story of the mall...especially the hot dog place.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh, Mettaton seemed to hijack part of Pap's POV. It's almost like the robot monster has a large enough ego to take command of the story regardless of whose POV it is...either that or it's lazy writing. You decide! :D 
> 
> Next Chapter...our date with Sans?
> 
> From now on, I'm going to put a permanent list of all the artwork wonderful people have drawn for this story! Feel free to give them loving! 
> 
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)
> 
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)
> 
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)
> 
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)
> 
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)


	31. Dating Start! (aka the hot dog stand one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! A date with Sans! uh, Dating Start!

You and Sans were initially quiet as you walked. He let go of your hand after a bit and stuck it back into his sweater pocket. “Sans,” you sighed, “You didn’t have to do that.”

“heh i know. but i really do want to try that hotdog on a stick place although i’m sure they’re not as filling as my hot dogs,” Sans shrugged. 

“Eh, are you making a sex joke or did you really sell hot dogs?” You asked curiously.

Sans smirked. “man what type of skeleton do you take me for? i also sold hot cats.” You snickered. “do you like hot animals?” 

You laughed. “Yeah, I would have called you nuts if you asked me that a year ago...but now with Monsters, that’s a legitimate question.” Nevertheless, you were soon in front of some hot dog on a stick place, ordering corn dogs. You found yourself a table and waited for Sans to get his dog, allowing you a moment to collect your thoughts. 

Seriously, what the hell? The skeleton was badgering you to hang out one minute and the moment you actually asked him out, he said no? What kind of bullshit was this? And Sans taking you up on the date offer? What was that about?

Sans plopped down at the table looking less than pleased. He had 6 packets of ketchup and a corn dog. He examined his ketchups dismally until you realized the problem. “They didn’t want to give you more ketchup?” You asked. He nodded.

“can i have your ketchups?” He asked. You sighed but still passed over your two packets with a smile. Sans appeared content with his serving of ketchup and began to open packets.

“Well now that it’s just us...what the fuck is up with your brother?” You laughed dryly. 

Sans snorted. “you got me like a tree on this one. cause i’m stumped.” You groaned and buried your head in your arms. 

“Ugh. Just leaf me alone. I meant leave! Leave!” You cried, popping your head back up and gesturing wildly. 

Sans let out a chuckle. “if i had to guess the root of the problem, maybe pap was playing hard to get.”

Now that was something you hadn’t considered. You blinked in surprise and tried to think where he could have picked that up. You came up with nothing. Maybe his dating manual, but even then it didn’t seem like he got too far on that. “There’s no way he would know how to do that,” you asserted. 

Sans appeared distracted by something in the distance but it did not hinder his comedy. “give my bro some credit. he’s pretty clever. maybe he’s branching out in his dating style?”

“Sans, really?”

“should i tell him you’re kinda knotty for a tree?”

“Stop being such a birch,” you grinned triumphantly. 

Sans held up his hands. “fine, fine. we may want to bury your questions for another time. you know, when we’re alone,” he winked as he squirted his ketchup on a napkin and began to trace his fingers through it. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Alone? What are you talking about?” 

He chuckled, pushing the napkin toward you. You glanced in confusion at the paper. Sans had attempt to draw words onto the napkin. They were goopy and crude, but you could make them out. It said “MTT is watching”. You looked back at Sans in alarm but he was lazily lying back in his chair. 

You mouthed the word “where” at him, and he gestured upwards. “i think i must lichen you because that was a waste of good ketchup,” he chuckled. You spotted a glint and squinted before your mouth dropped open. BP had one of those handheld radar devices connected to a pair of headphones aimed in toward your table. Although you weren’t sure of the strength of the device, you were sure he was at least getting the majority of the conversation. 

You eyed Sans bag he had placed on the table. “So what’s in the bag?” You asked curiously.

“thread.” You must have still looked like you didn’t believe him because he reached in the bag and pulled out a couple different shades of blue. “we didn’t have the right shade of color to fix my hoodie,” Sans explained as you pawed through the spools. 

“Wait, you can sew? Can Pap sew too” 

“yup. pap and i made his battle body outfit from scratch actually,” he admitted. For some reason, his tone suggested he could have been embarrassed at the admission but he appeared actually quite proud of this fact. 

You smiled slightly. “Did you know, I can suture skin but I can’t sew a single knot?”

“really? it’s not that hard. you want me to show you how?” 

“That-that would be kind of nice actually.” 

~~~~~

“What do you mean they’re talking about thread?” Mettaton asked irritably. 

BP shrugged. “I mean, it looks like Sans is having her sew his jacket too?” 

Papyrus shifted uncomfortably. “I’m not sure we should be watching them on their date.” 

Mettaton waved a hand. “Oh, we are not watching them. We are observing them.” 

The skeleton monster gave him a hard look. “I’m pretty sure that watching and observing are the same thing.” 

Mettaton hummed. “Oh they are completely different things. Observing means you are taking notes. Doing field work. Like a reporter or a guard,” he added with a wink. 

Papyrus rubbed his gloved hands together unsurely. “Well if you say so, then I guess it’s alright.” 

Three monsters and a human child sat at a table at the edge of the second floor of the mall. Paper and crayons were strewn about the table. Frisk was busily drawing up a chart as Mettaton pulled out a pen and slid some paperwork toward Papyrus. “I need you to sign here and here while we’re observing,” Mettaton said matter of factly. 

“Oh okay. What am I signing?” Papyrus asked as he scrawled his name on the dotted lines. 

Mettaton waved a hand. “Oh just some consent forms. That in exchange for my dating tips and help, you’ll let me use some of this material for a little project I’ve been working on. I was thinking about starting some new programming on my show.” 

Papyrus practically glowed. “Wowie! A new show! I cannot wait to see it! When does it come out?”

“Oh hopefully very soon. Maybe we could see a first episode by tonight if you work hard enough.” Papyrus nodded enthusiastically and handed the signed paperwork back to to the star as Frisk slid a piece of paper in front of the skeleton. 

Frisk pointed a crayon to the paper. “Let’s start by writing down what you know about Lori.” 

Papyrus thumped the table excitedly. “What a great idea! Let me think.” He tapped his skull thoughtfully. “I like her laugh. She smiles a lot. She’s honest. Oh! She can hit really hard!” He added, wincing at the memory. 

Frisk scribbled the compliments onto his paper. “Cool. Cool. What else do you know about her?”

“She works at an animal hospital.”

“Got it. What else?” 

Papyrus opened his mouth and then closed it. Frisk paused and looked up at his friend.  
He was scratching his skull.

“What’s her favorite food?” Frisk prompted. 

“Hmm, I don’t know.” 

“Does she have any siblings?” Mettaton asked. 

“Eh…”

BP glanced over curiously. “Do you even know her last name?” Papyrus grimaced. BP yanked off his headphones. “How can you like someone you know nothing about?” 

Papyrus looked down at his gloves in embarrassment, not catching the death glare Mettaton shot his employee. “I really don’t know a lot about her,” he admitted. 

Mettaton shrugged, discreetly threatening BP. “It’s natural to be attracted to beautiful people without knowing anything about them.” 

“But she’s not beautiful.” Mettaton, Frisk and BP all stared at Papyrus in disbelief. He felt the attention and waved his hands defensively. “I mean, she is very pretty, but it’s not her appearance. I don’t know how to describe it.” He sighed. “I guess I feel warm and weird around her and I just want to listen to her and talk to her,” Papyrus tried to explain. BP shrugged and put back to spying/monitoring. 

Frisk nodded understandingly. “That makes sense. I know what you mean.” Papyrus smiled gratefully at the child. “Maybe you could play 20 Questions the next time you see her. It’s a game where you ask someone 20 questions and then they ask you 20 Questions. I think.”

Mettaton lit up. “My my, Frisk, I didn’t know you were a dating master as well.” Frisk beamed proudly. “In fact, this gives me a marvelous idea.” He coughed and straightened his sun hat. “It hardly seems fair that Papyrus here should have the expertise of two dating master while Lori must fend for herself. Therefore, I volunteer to be Lori’s dating coach!” Mettaton stated.

Papyrus was about to protest when Frisk placed a small hand on his arm. “Don’t worry, Papyrus, we’ll do great!” Frisk cheered. Papyrus smiled widely.

“I’m sure we will!”

“Oh gahhhhh!!” BP suddenly gasped and choked. Mettaton scowled at BP. 

“Really, what a way to wreck the...oh.” Mettaton’s voice died down as he leaned over the railing to watch what BP spotted. Papyrus and Frisk glanced at each other curiously. The two joined the other two monsters at the railing and looked down. 

“Ah-uh, what?” Papyrus tried to ask, but found himself blushing violently although he could not explain why.

“What are you guys looking at?” Frisk asked in confusion, not spotting anything out of the ordinary. He turned toward Papyrus. “Hey, Papyrus, your face looks kinda funny. Are you okay?” 

“We may have to edit some of this in order to make my little project family friendly,” Mettaton observed coyly. 

~~~~~

5 minutes earlier…

“The fuck’s the difference between a basting and a running stitch?” 

“the basting stitch is longer. see?” 

“Huh. Yeah, alright, I get it.” You didn’t get it. But Sans had explained it six ways to Sunday and you really didn’t want to have him explain it again. His jacket had been fixed by attempt number three anyways so it wasn’t like you had ruined his jacket with your incompetence. You had eaten your corn dog long ago and somehow Sans’ dog had disappeared as well although you swear you don’t know when and if he ate it. You began to stand up. “Hey I’m going to grab another dog. Do you want one?” You asked. 

Sans smirked. "nah but try to get more ketchup this time. in fact wait a second, let me come with you." You shrugged as he got up and followed you to the counter..

"Hey, could I get another corn dog and some more ketchup please?" You asked politely. The cashier shot an irritated glance at Sans but quickly came back with another corn dog and 4 ketchup packets. You attempted to hand her your card but Sans was surprisingly faster and slipped her a 20 first. 

You scowled at the skeleton but he didn't seem to notice or if he did, he didn’t let on. You plopped yourself back at the table and stuck out your tongue. "You know, you're supposed to pay for your date before you try to have sex with her, not the day after," you snickered, sticking out your tongue. 

"heh. who says I'm not?" You froze as you felt Sans gave you an appreciative look you up and down. He leaned in closer. "wanna try for round 2?" He asked, his voice becoming husky. It sent shivers down your spine. 

A skeleton in a hoodie and slippers was making you feel out of your sexual element. How did that happen? You brought back in your tongue slowly. Well, two can play at that game. "Maybe I can show you a little taste of what's to come," you teased, also trying to lower your voice with mild success. 

Before Sans could respond, you quickly nabbed one of his open packets and applied a small amount of ketchup to the uneaten tip of the corndog. Your tongue darted and began to lick and trace circles on tip of the lucky dog. You shot a glance toward Sans who had a faint bluish tinge to his own cheek bones and smirked. “bet you can’t fit the whole thing in,” Sans chuckled. 

“Heheh, want to bet?” Without a moment’s hesitation, you quickly deepthroated the corn dog...only to immediately hit your gag reflex. The corn dog fell to the table as you seductively gagged, coughed and choked. Through your tear soaked eyes, you could see Sans falling out of his chair, laughing at you. Could you have fucked up any worse?

A loud crash from above caught your attention as you gasped for air. You looked up just in time to make eye contact with BP who waved awkwardly down at you before ducking down as well. FUCK!! How could you forget that Mettaton was watching you both although you had no idea why. Sans’ laughter was beginning to die down as you regained your breath. “well kid, that as fun. what time you want me to come by tonight?” 

“Fuck me!” You gasped, finally sucking in sweet oxygen. 

“that’s the plan.” Sans winked. You found yourself blushing. 

“Uh, maybe not tonight,” you admitted, “I’ve got to be at work at 7am tomorrow. So I’ll need to get some sleep.” Sans nodded understandingly. 

“that’s fine. i’ve just about finished my break anyway.” Sans stuck out his hand. “this was fun. let’s do this again sometime.”

You eyed his hand with a wry grin. “Hang on, we’re really ending our sorta date on a handshake?” You laughed. 

“heh, alright, c’mere. i got a hug for you,” Sans opened his arms and enveloped you into a surprisingly strong hug for a skeleton of his stature. “heh,” you heard him chuckle. 

“What’s so funny?” You asked, still caught in his rather comfortable hug. 

“i hope you’ve got some binoculars with you.”

“...Why?”

“you’re about to see a star,” Sans mused, releasing you and giving you a gentle push backwards. You felt yourself collide against something metallic and turned around quickly. 

“Hello darling! It’s about time you finished up. Let’s go, we don’t have all day!” Mettaton announced, seizing your arm and dragging you with him.

“Huh??” You asked, “Wait, Sans!” You whipped your head around to look for him but he was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton is determined to help us..whether we like it or not.  
> Also is failing at being sexy, still considered sexy? ;)
> 
> Fanart List! Feel free to add to it! I would love to see you draw!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)
> 
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)
> 
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)
> 
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)
> 
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)


	32. Unwanted Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton offers his assistance, whether we want it or not...

“So explain to me why I’m here again?” You asked as you stood in the dressing room. 

You could hear Mettaton’s clogs whir on the other side of the door. “Really now, this isn’t rocket science my dear. I am here to serve as your dating coach.” 

“And I have to sign these papers why?” You asked, holding a stack of papers. You had tried to read them but a lot of them was a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo and some of them weren’t even in English. 

“To allow me to use any material I gather for my new project,” Mettaton sighed, “Also, my assistant here won’t give you your clothes back until you sign.” 

You shivered. It was a bit drafty here, standing in the dressing room...naked. “Fine, fine. Hand me a pen.” 

How did you get in this situation again? You had allowed Mettaton to drag you into a high end clothing store - nothing that you could afford on your paycheck and he had forced you to strip, talking excitedly about love and fate and ratings. You would have thought the presence of a dramatic metal robot and a less than enthusiastic cat monster would stump the staff but apparently the monster star was a regular to this store. 

You finished signing the papers and slid it underneath the door. “Alright done. Clothes please.” A metallic hand reached underneath and took the papers. 

“Excellent, everything seems to be in order. Burgerpants, hand her the clothes.” Mettaton acknowledged. 

There was a shuffling and a furry paw extended toward you from above the door. You jumped up to grab it and stared at the clothes. “These aren’t my clothes.” You stretched them out. “Is this string? Did you just give me string?” 

“String? Oh, no. This is a Chanel Micro Bikini.”

“A micro what now?” You tried to slip on two of the 6 strings to cover up your privates area and looked miserably down. 

“Well?” 

“If I went out in public, I would be arrested for public indecency,” you admitted. You gave a shriek of alarm as Mettaton opened the door and looked you up and down. 

“Hmm, you’d be just fine for an European beach.”

“Close the fucking door!!” You screamed, wrapping an arm around your exposed breasts.

Mettaton tsked at you. “Language, Lori, I want this to be a family program.” He handed back the dressing room key he had borrowed from an employee and shut the door. “Alright, something less open, yes? Thank you.”

You handed back the bikini and sat on the bench in the waiting room. Naked, of course. “Hey, so, um, mind telling me why you were spying on me?” You asked, hoping for a response. 

“Of course. I needed to take notes so that I know how to be the best dating coach for you.” 

“Dating coach?” You asked as another bathing suit was tossed to you. You began to try to slip it on only to fail. This one had buckles. “I don’t need a dating coach? Who said I need a dating coach?” You asked. 

Mettaton’s voice hummed thoughtfully. “Despite your ah, attempts, I feel you clearly need one. And besides, Papyrus has one of his own so it’s only fair that I am here to guide you to true love and happiness as well.” He opened your door again but thankfully you were mostly covered at this point. “Hmm, now it’s covering too much. Something in the middle. Brighter color too.”

“Will you stop fucking doing that?!?!” You demanded. 

Mettaton crossed his arms. “What did I just tell you about profanity?” He tsked and shut the door again. “You need a dating a dating coach so you can match Papyrus in a date,” he added. 

You snorted derisively. “As if! The dude rejected me and I’m not going out with him again.” 

Mettaton was quiet for a moment as his clogs whirled thoughtfully. “Didn’t you feel unhappy that he turned you down?” He asked. 

You felt yourself stiffen slightly at the odd question. “Uh, well it did kinda suck,” you admitted.

“Come on now! I bet you were very upset,” he prodded, tossing you one last bathing suit. 

You grumbled now. “Yeah, I mean I guess I was upset.” 

“Upset? The audience can see you were livid!” Mettaton insisted. You were started to get confused. Audience? What audience? To your surprise, you were able to get this bathing suit on fairly easily. 

“I was?”

“You are FURIOUS!” You could hear Mettaton exclaim. The door burst open again and you attempted to cover your exposed stomach but Mettaton was faster and grabbed your arms. You squeaked in surprise. “Think about it! You take a chance, you ask the monster of your dreams out! And what does he do? He rejects you!”

“Rejects me?” you echoed, shell shocked. The word rejected made your stomach flip into a knot. It didn’t feel good. 

“And not only does he reject you, he insults you. Thinks he’s too good for a human like you.” Now that knot was on fire. You were seething. 

“That sonuvabitch,” you growled. You turned toward Mettaton. “Do you know that he kissed me too and pulled this shit?” The words were out of your mouth before you could stop yourself but you didn’t care at this point. You were a bull and Mettaton was waving the red flag. 

Mettaton latched onto them like a life raft. “Oh really?” he purred with far too much interest. “Well what are you going to do about it?” 

“Huh?”

“You clearly need to one up him. Even the score. How do you plan on doing that?” 

“Fuck him,” you swore. You paused. “Uh, not literally. But you know what I mean!”

“No! Darling, you’re on to something there! We must take action! We cannot retreat!” Mettaton insisted. He released you and paced as best as a wheel could pace before snapping his fingers. “That’s it! We need to use your secret weapon!”

“Secret weapon? Like my pepper spray?” 

“Your provocative presence!” 

“What?” 

“Your come-hither charm.”

“Wait, you don’t mean…”

“Your powers of seduction.” You blinked in surprise and tried to protest. “I watched you try to deepthroat a corndog,” the robot cut off you coldly. 

You shifted your eyes side to side. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you lied.

“Of course you don’t.” Mettaton patted your head, “It was just a coincidence.”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

“I’m sure that’s what Papyrus thought too when he saw you do it.” 

“Oh no!” You panicked

“OH YES!” Mettaton glowed. “You and I have so much work to do,” he practically giggled as you buried your face in your hands. 

~~~~~

It was close to 8PM by the time you pulled into a parking spot. You slumped out of the car and barely resisted the forces of gravity to just lie on the ground. Instead, you trudged to your trunk and opened it up warily. Shopping bags shot out and you covered yourself defensively until the assault stopped. You groaned but began to pick up bags as you reflected on Mettaton’s “dating lesson” as well as the information he had provided. 

Frisk was serving as Papyrus’ dating coach. You’re not sure what type of advice a young boy could give to a skeleton but that seemed harmless enough. Because of this, Mettaton had felt compelled to offer his own services to you. And by offer, he meant, drag you to every boutique store and made you strip and try on a bunch of ridiculous outfits. A good portion of them had glitter or sequins. But a few were not so bad. Mettaton had insisted on buying all of them.

Papyrus had seen you do you stupid lewd thing with the corn dog too. The damage, you were informed later, wasn’t as bad as you thought as you had gotten more information from BP when Mettaton had to power down for recharging. Papyrus had apparently been unnerved by your lewd display but he actually freaked out when you choked. The loud clatter you heard earlier was Mettaton tackling Papyrus to the ground before the skeleton could run down to assist you. You felt yourself smile because you could actually imagine Papyrus doing that only to wince as you imagined just how heavy Mettaton actually was to have kept Papyrus from getting up. 

You felt like Hercules as you strung all the bag holders over your arms and ascended the stairs. The sound of your impending footsteps must have been louder than you anticipated because your neighbor’s door opened and Kaylie looked out in alarm. She spotted you and relaxed. 

“Lori! Thank god you’re alright!” Kaylie gasped, “Where have you been?” 

“The mall.” 

“But you hate the mall!” 

“I know.” You cracked a smile but realized that Kaylie looked legitimately concerned. “Hey, what’s going on? Everything okay?” 

“You didn’t hear?” 

“No?”

“There was another attack.” Your chest clenched tightly. Kaylie sighed, answering your unspoken question. “Happened about two days ago. Downtown. I know you’ve been going out lately so we were worried about you.” 

You smiled appreciatively and gave Kaylie a hug...well as much of a hug as you could with all the bags you were carrying. “I am so lucky to have you guys as neighbors!” 

Kaylie hugged you as best as she could. “Well I’m glad we’re looking out for each other. I’m sure glad you started bringing those skeletons by too. I doubt anyone would try anything if they saw monsters around here,” she added with a smile. 

“Oh!” You felt your face blush at your recollection of last night. “Speaking of which, I’m super sorry about all the noise last night,” you apologized. 

Kaylie’s face contorted in confusion. “Last night?” 

“You know, after I pepper sprayed the skeleton?”

Kaylie scratched her head. “I didn’t hear any noise.” She chuckled. “Now that you mention, I didn’t hear anything from your apartment. Normally I can hear your television or footsteps sometimes but you guys didn’t even make a peep. Huh, isn’t that weird?” 

“Very,” you agreed, feeling your blood pressure drop. 

“I’m glad you’re home safe. I’ll talk to you later. Good night.”

“Good night!” 

You managed to get inside your own apartment before collapsing to the sofa face first. “Well, that’s terrifying. Magic can cancel out hysterical screaming,” you spoke into the couch cushion. The couch cushion did not respond. Which was probably for the best. You rolled over on the couch and debated the new information you had learned. Another attack. That was disconcerting. You probably needed to get a new pepper spray by this point. You had successfully attacked two friends in the last few days with it so you definitely could trust the brand.

Could a monster really be behind the assaults? You were just getting a taste of what magic was capable of and so far you had seen motion based projectiles, alcoholic truth serum, teleportation, magically enhanced arousals and telekinesis. So the idea of a monster being able to attack so many women and evade capture actually had some weight. The next time you were on the university campus you could very well see more anti monster protesters if these attacks continued. You shivered at the thought.

"Fuckkkkk! I have to find hangers for all of these clothes!" You realized. You got up and dragged the clothes to the bedroom. You reached into the first bag and to your surprise felt a piece of paper. You pulled out a lavender colored piece of stock paper and began to read. 

"Dear Lori, I'm am thrilled that you have accepted my assistance as your personal dating coach. With my expertise, there will be no man, woman nor monster alive, who will be able to resist your charms." You laughed as you hung up a skirt and continued. "Having observed you on both your date and during our shopping excursion, I have a few tips that I would like you to try out by the next time we meet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have Mettaton's helpful words of advice. Next chapter, we attempt to implement them. 
> 
> Fanart List! Feel free to add to it! I would love to see you draw!
> 
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)
> 
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)
> 
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)
> 
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)
> 
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)


	33. The Dangerous Effects of Unsolicited Advice (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worked a bit overtime on this story to go ahead and bring you an update on July 4th so I can tell you two things! 
> 
> 1\. Please don't blow any parts of you off with fireworks. I like all your squishy parts to stay on you. 
> 
> 2\. Pets may get nervous during fireworks. Please check with your local veterinarian about methods of keeping your furry friends calm and safe (mild sedation with benadriyl/acepromazine/trazadone, thundershirts, or heck even staying home with them to let you know that you're there-just don't try to directly comfort them when they get scared because that actually reinforces their belief that "The human is giving me positive rewards for being scared. I should definitely be scared)
> 
> That being said, I would love to see any photos of your 4th of July celebrations (if you celebrate it). and to tell me your favorite firework. I like the one that looks like a weeping willow.
> 
> Alright! On to the story! A longer chapter now! We take Mettaton's advice!

"Mother flipping pancake roller," you shouted as you accidentally bumped your head against a low hanging surgical light.

TJ shot you a questioning glance from behind his face mask but continued to operate on the anesthetized Doberman lying on the table. You rubbed your head painfully.

"What did you just say?" Tim asked as you stepped away from the doctor.

Mettaton’s words echoed in your mind as you began to check heart rate on the dog on the table. "Step one, swearing is unbecoming. Refrain from swearing in public."

"Sorry Tim. I'm trying to avoid swearing" You tried to explain.

"Why?" the other tech asked.

"Supposed to help with my dating ability. Makes people like me more or something."

"Yeah you need all the help you can get." Tim snorted

"Hey, hey. Look at me.” Tim smirked and looked at you. “Fuck you."

But that was half an hour. Since then, you had been really good. Your resolve not to swear was really holding up.

"MOTHER FUCKER JUST BIT ME IN THE ASS!!!" You shrieked as a dwarf bunny chomped your rear.

Your attempts at not swearing were dismal to say the least. This was your first day back at work after what was originally planned to be a relaxing weekend. You know before the whole alcohol magic inebriation, bondage, amazing kiss and subsequent crushing disappointment, life threatening almost sex and shopping.To be honest, the shopping was probably the worst of it. You grinned sardonically. At least there had been the possibility of an orgasm with the deadly sex. That was an improvement from most of your dates.

Mettaton’s second step echoed in your head as you continued your shift. "Step two, keep your blunt honesty to yourself." That didn’t last more than 45 minutes.

You held up a terrier. "Jesus Christ Tim! Look how big this guy's testicles are!!" The little dog wiggled happily as Tim looked over.

"Damn!! Those gotta be the size of softballs! Are we neutering him?"

"Hell yes we are. Where's Cheri? Hey Cheri!!"

"Yes hun-oh dear Lord really?" The receptionist put a hand over her eyes as you swung the dog back and forth and subsequently the testicles as well.

"Lookatem!!!” you giggled childishly, “Hahaha! Where's Pam? She'd appreciate it! Hey Pam!"

Well that didn’t last long either. You were 0 for 2 now. What was the third one? "Step 3, be willing to help," you read aloud from the folded lavender paper in your pocket. "Heh, that one's easy. I'm always helpful." You smiled.

"Hey Lori, wanna help clean up the diarrhea from the parvo puppy?" your coworker asked.

"Motherfucker. I did it last time." Okay maybe you weren't always willing to help but you helped anyway. You weren't a douche. So maybe you were 1 for 3? 33% was passing in some states...right?

Your note peeking hadn’t been that discrete afterall as you discovered during your lunch break. Cheri peaked over your shoulder as you checked the paper one more time. "You've been looking at that paper the whole day! What is it?"

"Oh, well I have a dating coach. He's having me act a bit differently to help with my dating abilities," you confessed.

"Huh. I haven't seen you act differently."

"Really? I've been trying not to swear and everything."

"You've been trying NOT to swear? You could have fooled me." Cheri began to walk away but quickly ran back to you. "Wait! A dating coach?!"

"I don’t have him by choice," you muttered.

Cheri seemed not to hear you. "Hun! That's so cool! Who is he helping you date?"

"No one," you answered coolly.

"OH MY GOD! Did you say Papyrus?!" Cheri squealed loudly, drawing the attention of all the animals and humans that were in the room.

You stared blankly at her. "How the fuck did you get Papyrus from the words ‘no one’?"

"She's not denying it!" You heard Pam screech from down the hall. You blushed.

"Oh my god, why do we not have thicker walls?!" You lamented. You sighed and walked up front to the receptionist area. "Okay, maybe it might be true. But I’m only trying to follow the directions on this paper to make us even," You explained as you handed Pam the sheet of paper.

"Even?" Pam called out.

"I asked him out and he told me no, said he was too good for me or something." Cheri looked aghast at your explanation.

"Let's throw eggs at his house!" The 62 year old receptionist shouted cheerfully.

"No no," Cheri shook her head. "Did he really say that? That sounds awful."

You groaned. "Okay maybe he didn't say that exactly but he did say no. His brother thinks he was trying to play hard to get. Point is, my dating coach says if I follow these three steps, it will get him to change his mind and ask me out...at which point I’m going to tell him no."

“That seems like a healthy way to handle a relationship issue,” Cheri sighed.

“Yeah, well it’s not working. I can’t follow these three stupid steps, so that’s the end of this topic.”

Pam looked up from the paper. “What about the steps on the back?”

You cocked your head curiously. “What steps on the back?” Pam flipped the paper and pointed to the page. You squinted your eyes. “Did he seriously write additional instructions in purple on a purple piece of paper?” You incredulously.

Pam laughed. “It’s magenta writing on lavender paper, hun. Hang on, I’ll read it for you.” She cleared her throat and read. “Lori, by now, you’ve probably failed the first three steps. I’m glad you made it to your second day before failure.”

“I’m not even halfway through day one,” you mumbled. Pam continued:

“If you are hearing this note, that means you have given the paper to someone with a fabulous sense of style so whoever you are reading this, give yourself a pat on the back, you gorgeous beauty!” Pam paused to pat herself on the back giddily and continued. “You have only one instruction. Ignore Papyrus”

"What?"

"Ignore him. Don't talk to him. Don't even acknowledge him,” Pam continued.

"That sounds incredibly petty," you admitted.

"A good relationship should rely on open communication and trust," Cheri lamented.

“Oh bullshit,” the 62 year old receptionist snorted, catching you both off guard. “I say follow your date coach’s advice. Men can start the game, but we women are going to finish it, dammit!” Pam glanced back at the paper. “Oh, there’s something else.”

“What?” you asked.

Pam read it to herself quietly before breaking into a sneaky smile. “Ooh. I’ve been instructed not to read this one to you until after you have planned your next date.”

“Next date?” you gaped. “I don’t want another date with this guy. Tell me what it says.”

“Nope.”

“Give it!”

“Alright come get it,” Pam taunted, folding up the paper and sliding it into her bra. You slapped your face.

“Yeah, no, there’s no way they’re going to catch me on camera sticking my hand down your bra,” you stuck out your tongue. “And for both of your information, even if I didn’t want to, I was totally going to be following the advice to ignore him. He and I don’t text, I have no plans to see him again. Our paths do not cross at all. And there’s no reason in hell I would even go back to Summer Hills.”

“Lori, there you are, I’ve been looking for you,” you heard TJ speak up from behind you.

“Sorry, TJ, I’m just finishing up my lunch,” you apologized, turning around. You stared at the pile of books that TJ had in his hands. “Uh...why are you holding Dr. Alphys’ manga?”

TJ looked bemused. "I just got off the phone with Dr. Alphys. Apparently the manga that she loaned us was actually supposed to be loaned to the monster ambassador."

"Frisk? You mean the little boy?"

"Yes. She was very apologetic but she would like it if someone could bring these books to her home..."

"No."

"...And since you know the way..."

"No. No."

"I told her I would send you up to drop off the books."

"Aggggghhhh. TJ, why you gotta do this to me?" You whined.

"If you think about it, you could almost say that this is a diplomatic request," Cheri piped up. You shot her a dirty look.

TJ stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You could say that. Yes that is accurate.” He smirked at you. “Your country needs you to do your part in bringing peace between monsters and humans.”

“By delivering manga?” You crossed your arms.

“You can go after you clock in from lunch. The afternoon isn’t too busy. I’m sure we could spare you for an hour.”

You gave up and threw your hands in the air. “Fine. Fine. Give me the damn books. I’ll head up there after my lunch break.”

~~~~~

Alphys sighed as she hung up the phone. “Y-you were right. They’re sending Lori up here as soon as she’s off her lunch break.” Alphys glanced around nervously. “You know, I r-really don’t need those manga books for Frisk. He’s only on volume one still.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Mettaton purred.

“Then why did you have me call the hospital?” Alphys asked.

“Because love sometimes needs a little bit of a push.”

“Well, does love needs this much of a push?” Alphys sweated nervously, glancing at something hidden underneath a white cover in the corner of the room.

Mettaton leaned back seductively on Undyne’s piano. “Darling, love isn’t always soft and gentle. Sometimes it needs violence, action and explosions!” he squealed, clapping his hands.

Alphys wrung her claws worriedly. “I-i hope Undyne won’t be too mad.”

“I’m sure she’ll be delighted,” Mettaton scoffed, “your girlfriend is rather bloodthirsty.”

“She’d take that as a compliment.”

“I know.” Mettaton stretched. “Well I’m sure she’ll be here in an hour so I best be off, but I’m trusting you.”

Alphys sighed. “I-i’ll do my best.”

Mettaton placed both hands on the small scientist’s shoulders. “You will be just fine. Darling, you made me and I’m perfect. You can do anything!” Alphys smiled genuinely.

“Thank you...Hap.” Mettaton put a finger to his monitor and elegantly rolled out of the room. Alphys looked again at her covered invention and crossed her fingers before walking outside. She spotted Undyne and began to walk over, stepping over various arsenal and traps.

The warrior spotted Alphys coming and waved eagerly. “Hey Alphys! Are you going to try the Gauntlet today?”

Alphys shuddered and shook her head. “No, no! Actually...the human, er Lori is coming back up to give me some of my manga back...and I think it would be a good idea to have her try it.”

Undyne raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh. It wouldn’t have anything to do with Mettaton leaving just now?”

“Uh uhhh, n-no?” Alphys tried to lie. Undyne laughed heartily and slapped her on the back.

“I’m just messing with you! I think that’s a great idea! If my Papyrus is going to date someone, I think I’d feel a lot better if they could at least attempt the Gauntlet.” She motioned toward Papyrus who was doing push ups in the distance. “Plus, I think seeing her might cheer him up a bit. He’s been weird all day.”

Alphys cocked her head. “How so?”

Undyne gestured to him. “He just seems not as passionate. Like he normally gives 150% but now he’s giving closer to 110%.”

“That’s statistically impossible,” Alphys muttered. She looked over at Papyrus. “He doesn’t look any different.” He had a large smile on his face as he continued to do push ups.

“He totally is. He showed up 26 minutes early to training today. Normally he’s here 30 minutes early!” Undyne insisted. “I even asked him what was up but he says he can’t tell me. And he tells me everything!” Undyne groaned. “When is she coming up?”

“Probably in the next hour or so.”

“Cool, cool. Well I’ll keep Papyrus around then until she shows.”

~~~~~

“Hey yeah, it’s me again-No! Don’t do jumping jacks right now! Can you just open the gate?” you asked quickly as the security guard raised his hands in the air. The gate slowly swung open and you drove through quickly. You looked down at yourself and tsked. Even though you lint rolled yourself prior to entering the car, you still appeared dirty. Even your make up appeared smudged. You didn’t look great.

You found yourself pulling over suddenly and began to think out loud. “There’s a really good chance you’re going to see Papyrus up there,” you told yourself. You glanced in your reflection before reaching into your bag for your make up. “You are not doing this for him,” you argued, “Undyne is a client and I should look professional for a client.” You found yourself reapplying your sweat proof foundation and eyeliner and your lipstick before you could change your mind. You looked at your scrub top. “And this top is really furry. I don’t think Dr. Alphys would be happy if I got fur all over her books,” you added, taking off your scrub top, exposing your tank top and part of your sports bra underneath. You tucked the bra under your shirt and subconsciously adjusted the girls as well.

You shifted into drive and made your way up the street again, singing badly along with the radio. It relaxed you somewhat and you felt yourself calm down. Finally you pulled up in front of the monster home and shut off the car. You patted the dashboard reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone pop your tires this time...I hope,” you attempted to promise your car. The car, like the rest of your inanimate objects, did not respond. You hesitated and looked out into the training field. The Guard Dogs were out again, training. You didn’t spot Papyrus and you breathed a sigh of relief. “Uh, maybe I should just wear the scrub top,” you decided, reaching for the top.

Something tapped on your window and you looked up to a row of fangs. You barely stopped yourself from screaming as you realized that you were staring into the face of an overly eager Undyne. “HEY PUNK!” she was yelling.

“Oh, hello Undyne,” you greeted, foregoing the scrub top and stepping out of the car. “It’s nice to see you ag-!”

“You bring anymore pepper spray?! I want to see what it feels like,” Undyne asked, pounding on your car excitedly. You were surprised to see it did not leave dents.

“Uhh, no, I’m afraid not. I have to buy some more actually. I wouldn’t recommend spraying yourself with it. It really hurts,” you admitted.

Undyne waved her hand. “Fine, fine. You got the books?” You nodded.

“Yes I do. This works out perfectly. I’ll just hand them to you and get out of your way,” you offered, trying to hand her the pile of manga.

“What, no, pshaw. Come in. Come in. Alphys has a surprise for you,” Undyne grinned, placing a scaly hand behind your back and propelling you toward the home. You thought about protesting, but considered the circumstances. You were getting paid to be out here. You technically were helping a client. And it could be considered a diplomatic thing. You might as well go with her. The fact that Undyne could easily murder you and bury your body was definitely not a deciding factor in all of this. No way.

Plus, who knows? The surprise could be tea! Tea time sounded awesome! You loved tea. Maybe it was tea. You were hoping it was tea.

~~~~~

It was not tea. You stood in the middle of the room as Alphys watched you expectantly. “Is-is this a volleyball?” you asked, shifting the white ball back in forth in your hands.

Alphys nodded. “It is! I remember you telling me how much you didn’t like volleyball because you weren’t good at it.”

You winced. “Yeah, I remember.”

Alphys smiled proudly. “Well I made this volleyball especially for you. It will help you hone your skills and teach you how to be good at volleyball. I call it the volleybomb!”

Your face lit up and you looked down at the ball. “Wow! Really? That’s amazing! Thanks! Does it like tell me how to stand or how much force I should be hitting the ball with?”

Alphys looked concerned. “Uh, hitting the ball? Um...this might be easier to do outside.” You didn’t really register her words as you kept looking in fascination at the volleyball. It looked so much like a real ball although upon closer inspection, it did appear to have some technical components. “Y-you wouldn’t happen to have a spare change of shorts, would you?”

“Spare change of shorts?” You asked. You thought about it. “Well I’m wearing some fitness shorts underneath my scrub pants. They’re kind of short though. Maybe a few inches above my knee.”

“Oh that’s perfect.” You glanced at Alphys and she cleared her throat. “It-it might be easier if you are in fitness clothing when we start the volleybomb. It will help you run better.”

“Uh, ok, if you say so.” You stripped off the pants and folded them onto the chair nearby. You were glad you had shaved your legs recently, otherwise you would have felt somewhat like a gorilla. “Wait, are you saying volleyball or volleybomb?” you asked suddenly.

“L-let’s go outside and I’ll show you.”

You followed Alphys and spotted Undyne throwing more coals to the fire under the monkey bars in the gauntlet. “Huh, is someone going to run the gauntlet soon?” you asked curiously.

"Well. We-we were hoping to have you run the gauntlet against the volleybomb."

You looked at Alphys in confusion. Seriously, was she saying bomb or ball? "Against the ball? You mean like I have to hold it while I do the course?" You clarified.

Alphys looked horrified. "What? No! You don't want it to touch you. Remember?"

"I don't?" You felt like you were missing a piece of vital information.

Alphys nodded. "You said it yourself. The volleyball blew up on you all the time in the past but this time it won't!" Alphys beamed.

"Blew up on me? What are you talking about?" You stared down at the ball again. A stray thought popped into your head. But there's no way she would have done that... Right? You gasped and jumped backwards. "Is that a bomb?!?!" You asked.

"Well yah, of course. That’s why I called it the volleybomb."

"I thought you just had a speech impediment or something!” You looked down at the bomb that you were still holding for some reason. “Holy shit! Holy shit!" You freaked, "is it going to blow up?!"

"I would hope not!” You let out a sigh of relief. Alphys continued, “I have to activate it first with this remote and then you'll get at least a 15 second head start." She held aloft a remote with a single red button.

Your relief was short lived. "Head start? What do you mean head start?"

Alphys was very patient in her explanation...Not that you could tell to be honest. "So you will enter the gauntlet as soon as I hit the start button on our volley bomb. That will give you 15 seconds to make a head start on the gauntlet before the bomb hones in and starts following you."

"F-following me? Is there anyway to not have it follow me at all?" you asked desperately.

"Well if you can climb to the top of the tower and ring the bell in there, the volleybomb will deactivate."

"Okay okay. That makes sense!”

“Really?”

“No wait, no it doesn't. This is absolutely insane!" You shouted, “Excuse me, but why the hell should I have to run from a bomb in the first place?” Your shouting had drawn a particular monster’s attention.

"Hi Lori!" Papyrus greeted, popping up beside you.

"Shut up, I'm ignoring you," you angrily told the skeleton. You blinked. "Wait..."

Papyrus looked stunned. "Ignoring me? Why are you ignoring me?"

You resisted the urge to respond to that and turned back to Alphys who looked disheartened. “O-oh. I didn’t think about that.” She shifted anxiously. “I guess it was kind of a stupid idea,” she admitted. You very carefully put the ball down and stepped over to Alphys.

“Hey, hey, it wasn’t a stupid idea. You were just trying to help me,” you gently comforted the dinosaur.

“Is everything alright? Are you mad at me?” Papyrus nervously asked.

You were finding it easier to ignore the skeleton now. Alphys sniffed a bit. “R-really?”

“Yeah, really. I appreciate you trying,” you admitted honestly, “Nobody has ever put that much effort into helping me face my fears...especially with explosions.” You laughed.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No...I’m learning that extreme violence seems to be a way for monsters to show that they care about each other,” you muttered.

“Is this about yesterday?” Papyrus asked but neither you nor Alphys even glanced at him.

“Well I guess better put this stuff away before someone accidentally activates it,” Alphys chuckled awkwardly. You flinched as she leaned down to pick up the volleybomb and the remote slipped out of her claws. “Oh no!” she gasped as the remote plummeted downwards.

“Fuck!” you cringed. The remote crashed to the ground, button side up. You both sighed in relief and you reached down to get it only for your hand to come into contact with a red glove. You looked up in alarm and found yourself only inches away from Papyrus who stared earnestly at you.

“Human,” he began, “please explain to me why you are ignoring me.” You felt yourself shudder as you tried to remain as stoic as possible. He was directly asking you a question now. What was the protocol on that? Should you keep ignoring him?

A beep suddenly drew your attention and you swiveled your head to look toward its source. The volleybomb was beeping. It wasn’t beeping before. You looked at Alphys who stared at you in horror. The beeping was accelerating.

You turned back to Papyrus and quickly pulled his hand off the remote. The button had been pressed. Papyrus looked down at the remote. “I must have accidentally pressed it, I’m sorry-human?!” You didn’t wait to hear the explanation.

You were already sprinting toward the Gauntlet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RUN, LORI, RUN!!! (get it like Run, Lola, Run? ...now I feel old)
> 
> Mettaton's advice is just dangerous for everyone! Will we survive the Gauntlet?!
> 
> P.S. Happy Fourth of July People. Let me know if you had a favorite part in the story and a favorite firework!
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
> 
> 
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> Fanart List! Feel free to add to it! I would love to see you draw!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> 


	34. RUN!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to get through the Gauntlet of Death...or else.  
> Plus, we got two pieces of fanart!! And they're awesome. please go check them out and give them love.
> 
> First one is from the notsoclosetnerd: [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)
> 
> Second one is from whoopsiein (aka notosoclosetnerd). It is slightly NSFW :D :[Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)

“R-RUN LORI!” Alphy’s voice shrieked after you as you entered the gauntlet. You managed to leap over the first sand trap and barely clear the second one before your thoughts caught up with you. Hopefully they would help you with your situation. You listened to your mind. Your mind told you that you were going to die.

“Fuck!” you realized, snagging your foot in the third sandtrap. You managed to yank it out and reach the rope bridge before Undyne’s voice rang out across the field. 

“Here it comes!” You doubled your speed as you ascended the ladder to begin the flaming monkey bars. You hated monkey bars. You hated them. You had much more lower body strength than upper. Your arms burned. You wanted to stop.

“Human!” You glanced over and noticed Papyrus running alongside you outside of the Gauntlet. “I know you’re ignoring me but you need to keep going!” 

“Shut the fuck up!” You yelled back, forcing yourself to keep going. 

“See, I know you’re only saying that because you’re having a hard time, just remember to use the momentum from one swing to the next!” 

You gritted your teeth but found yourself using the momentum from one hand to the next. Sure your arms still burned, but you made it to the other side without falling into the fire pit. You almost patted yourself on the back but the sound of an approaching beeping noise made you pale. You turned around as you ran. The bomb was rolling over the sandpits. 

“DUCK!” Papyrus’ voice brought your attention back to the gauntlet ahead of you and you dropped down to all fours. A large axe sliced through the air where you had been just a few moments ago. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” You shrieked as a boulder sized mallet swung at you next, forcing you to roll immediately out of the line of fire. 

“OH! You almost got the pattern down! Duck, roll and jump!” Papyrus yelled, hopping up and down excitedly. You found yourself jumping as he jumped and nearly avoided having your ankles broken by a wildly spinning concrete pole. “Duck again!” Papyrus hollered helpfully and you found yourself mimicking his movements. 

Even though you were facing certain death or at least severe dismemberment, you couldn’t help but be astounded by how acrobatic Papyrus seemed to be. You would have assumed he would have been too lanky or tall to pull off lunges and rolls but here he was. Dare you say it, you were impressed by the finesse. As you cleared the last colossal hammer, you risked another glance behind you. 

The bomb was rolling through the fire. THE GODDAMN BOMB WAS ROLLING THROUGH FIRE!!! And NOT DETONATING! “ALPHYS!” You yelled as you unsteadily crossed a shaky rope bridge. “Why is the fire not blowing up the bomb?!” 

“It-it’s indestructible. It’s programmed to blow up only if it gets within 30 feet of you!” Alphys hollered back.

“Fuck!” You looked up ahead and blanched. It was the wall! The humongous wall that you had no chance in hell in jumping over. 

Even Papyrus seemed stumped as he ran alongside you outside of the course. “Er...Can you levitate yourself?” he asked hopefully. Come on brain! Think! Think! You looked to the side of the wall and spotted lesser dog happily scratching his ear. He spotted you approaching and became excited. His tail began to wag and his neck...grew? You had a plan!

“Who’s a good boy?!” You yelled as you approached, “You are! Lesser Dog is a good boy!” you praised. The dog monster began to yip excitedly and his neck continued to grow. Without hesitating, you quickly hugged the happy dog’s face and found yourself rocketing into the air faster than you could pet and cheer. Lesser Dog’s neck shot upwards and very soon you found yourself almost able to step off onto the top of the wall. 

Except you suddenly found yourself up upside down. You tightened your hold as you realized that Lesser Dog’s neck was now turning upside down, thankfully on the other side of the wall. You continued your praise and ear scratches and you finally got close enough to the ground that you could safely drop down and continue sprinting toward the tower. 

“You’re almost there!” Papyrus cheered, running alongside you outside of the gauntlet. 

“Where’s the bomb?!” you gasped. 

“Jumping over the swinging mallet!” Undyne offered helpfully as she ran alongside you on the other side of the gauntlet. 

“The bomb can jump?!” 

“I said I’m sorry!” Alphys shouted.

You spotted the ladder leading to the first floor of the tower and you clambered up like a monkey. You rounded the bend and reached the second ladder. As your feet hit the second floor, you could see Lesser Dog’s head retracting back over the wall...and the bomb rolling over the tip. You charged to the third ladder. Your breath came out sharp and your sides were painful but you forced yourself up until you reached the third floor. 

You could hear Papyrus shout something at you but you could barely hear him over the pounding of your own heartbeat in your ears. You could see the bomb just about finished its descent from the gigantic wall and head toward the tower. The final ladder stood in front of you and you nearly grasped it with your teeth trying to get up. With a last burst of energy, you shot up the stairs like a cork from a champagne bottle. You seized the rope attached to the bell and proceeded to ring it wildly with a triumphant yell. “Hahaha! Oh my God! I did it! That! That was awesome! Fuck you, volleyball! Er, volleybomb!!” You leaned over the railing of the fourth wall in preparation for taunting the stopped volleybomb and your eyes widened. 

The bomb was still rolling. Toward you. You looked hopefully in the direction of Alphys and froze when you saw her struggling frantically with the remote. “It’s not stopping!” she shrieked. You quickly looked around and could only spot Undyne who was gesturing.

“Use the zipline when the bomb touches the tower!” she ordered. You ran to the other side of the tower and spotted the zipline that started from the tower and lead to safety below. Why did you have to wait for the bomb to touch the tower? You saw the bomb approaching. Time seemed to slow as you realized the gravity of Undyne’s instructions. 

If you used the zipline now, the bomb would still be following you as you rode down the line. And after that, you really didn’t have any more places to hide from it. If you waited for the bomb to touch the tower, it would be within detonation range and explode. Getting your timing right would allow you to zipline out of an exploding tower like a badass...if your timing was off...well, you didn’t want to stick around to see that. 

You placed both hands on the zipline bar and gripped it tightly, only to suddenly feel the line go slack in your hands. You let go in surprise and instantly regretted it as you watched the line slip off the edge of the tower and fall uselessly to the ground. You could see Undyne hollering below at Dogamy about not tightening the knot properly on the zipline but that did not really help you at this point. 

The stark realization that you were most likely going to die struck you and you just kind a stood there soaking in the fact. Jumping from this height would be instant death. You looked around and chuckled. The whole reason you were here on this tower about to die was because of Papyrus and the monster was nowhere to be found. 

“HUMAN!” Your thoughts returned to reality at the shout.

“Papyrus?” You questioned leaning over the rail and looking down. The skeleton was below you on the ground, waving up at you.

“HELLO! UH, I THINK I CAN GET YOU DOWN!”

“How?”

“JUMP!”

“ARE YOU INSANE?!” you shouted. You had maybe 5 seconds left. 

“NO! I’M PAPYRUS! PLEASE JUMP! TRUST ME!” He smiled desperately at you. You climbed onto the rail. The sound of metal connecting with wood dinged and there was an eruption behind you. You had no choice now. Trusting the skeleton, you jumped. 

You bet you looked like a really awesome badass as you could imagine a raging inferno behind you. At least you hoped it was an impressive explosion. The sound alone was deafening enough to suggest it was. You shut your eyes instinctively. You felt weightless. It was terrifying as gravity suddenly dragged you downwards. You knew any second you were going to splat on the ground.

You reeled in surprise as you collided with something solid that was most definitely not the ground. You felt strong arms catching your falling body and your eyes shot open. You looked into Papyrus’ face. He was absolutely thrilled and you couldn’t help but find yourself blushing as you realized he was holding you bridal style. You weren’t used to having someone look at you with such unbridled joy and just gazed up wordlessly at him. He opened his mouth to speak to you but quickly looked up. 

“Dodge! Dodge! Dodge!” Undyne shouted enthusiastically as pieces of wreckage crashed toward both of you from the sky. Papyrus leapt backwards and you shrieked, clutching him tightly around the neck. Large pieces of wood lodged into the ground as Papyrus expertly leapt and jumped from spot to spot. You buried your head into his chest and could hear his heart beat slowly as he dodged a large piece of shrapnel. How could he be so calm?

Because he does this every day, you realized, peeking up at him. A screaming howling cat didn’t even trigger your adrenaline at work because it was a daily thing. He trained every day. So for all you knew, this was just a training exercise to him. You’re sure explosions were probably commonplace at Undyne’s home. Papyrus finally took one step back and remained still. “Is it over?” you asked, peeking out.

“Just about,” he said. As if on cue, a finally large piece of shrapnel landed just a foot away in front of you two. You let out a startled yelp and grabbed him so tightly, you were sure you would be choking him if he was a human. Papyrus looked at you and smiled. “Oh, human, I’m so proud that you finished the Gauntlet!” he cheered.

You looked up at him in shock. “You just dodged meteors of death and you’re excited that I ran through an obstacle course?” you gaped. Papyrus nodded vigorously. “Wow, um, thank you,” you felt your cheeks burn. 

“You’re welcome!” He didn’t release you but instead still watched you with rapt interest. You could hear his heartbeat begin to accelerate. That was odd to you. Could it be a post stress reaction from having avoided certain death like five, no six times?

“Are you okay?” you ventured, “Did you get hurt?” 

Papyrus nodded. “I assure you that I am in perfect health.” As he spoke, you began to loosen your tight grip around his neck. “I’ve been training every day and this isn’t the first time Dr. Alphys has exploded the course,” Papyrus confirmed your reasoning. 

“Uh huh,” you continued, “This is a regular thing?” You began to drag one of your hands down from behind his neck, and paused as his heartrate rapidly accelerated as soon as you moved against him. This couldn’t be right. There was no way that you were the one eliciting this bodily reaction…right? You slowed down your hands’ descent so that your fingers were ever so gently stroking each bone as they trailed downward. 

You purposely had not applied much pressure to your curious fingers but even so your slight movements were already generating a profound effect on the skeleton. “I would say it happens at least once a we-week,” his voice wavered. You could feel him tremble slightly as an orange blush alighted on his cheek bones. Oh. Oh wow. Well, uh this was interesting? Should you keep going? You glanced to the side and froze. 

Shit. Your experiment had not gone unnoticed. Undyne was watching you with a sinister grin. She knew exactly what was going on. “Hey Alphys!” you saw her call, gesturing the scientist to come closer, “How did that episode in Mew Mew Kissy Cutie end when Mew Mew got saved by her friend Toshi?” You narrowed your eyes. What was she planning? 

“Oh! Oh! Uh...well, Undyne..er, Toshi kissed her,” Alphys admitted, already blushing more than you. Your eyes widened. That sneaky fish monster!

Undyne made an over exaggerated, “Oh that’s right!” You felt Papyrus shift his hold on you as the females talked. Suddenly, you couldn’t move your hand anymore and your attention darted back to the skeleton. He had grabbed your previously exploratory hand and was studying it in confusion. You had been caught. You needed a miracle at this point. “Papyrus!” Undyne yelled. 

Papyrus ripped his attention away from you and looked to Undyne who was grinning devilishly. “Yes, Undyne?” Thank you Undyne for the miracle.

“Did you hear what Alphys said about the show?” Wait, no. 

“Ah yes,” Papyrus nodded, still holding on to your hand. She wouldn’t. Undyne motioned to Alphys who nervously stepped forward, blushing even more so than both you and Papyrus combined. 

“Well, you just saved Lori, so Undyne thinks you should, you know,” Alphys began, her voice failing her.

Papyrus tilted his head. “I should what?” Sweet baby Jesus, Papyrus did not understand. You had a shot. 

“Oh for-KISS HER!” Undyne shouted.

“Oh!” Papyrus gasped, dropping you in surprise. You were too caught off guard to brace for landing and felt your head smack against the ground painfully. Your vision got hazy and slowly faded to black as Papyrus looked down at you in shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An unconscious reader can only mean one thing - a mini chapter is up next! ...Uh, I mean, oh gee, i hope she's okay. I had way too much fun writing this chapter. :D What did you guys think? Too much? Too little? Just right?
> 
> Fanart List! Feel free to add to it! I would love to see you draw!
> 
>  
> 
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)
> 
>  
> 
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)
> 
>  
> 
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)
> 
>  
> 
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)
> 
>  
> 
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)
> 
>  
> 
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)
> 
>  
> 
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)


	35. Mini Chapter: A Magic Touch?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Papyrus mini chapter! Hurrah! Well you've been rendered unconscious...time for the Monsters to start talking about you!
> 
> This was a hard chapter for me to write and I kept going back and re editing but this is the best it's going to get.

“Lori!” Papyrus shouted, immediately kneeling down to your unconscious body.

“Papyrus! You bonehead! I said kiss not concuss!” Undyne hollered, walking over to you. 

Papyrus wrung his hands nervously. This was bad. Very bad. Had you fallen down? You weren’t moving. “Did-did I break the human? She’s not moving!”

Undyne scowled and placed her head against your chest and listened. “She’s not dead. She’s just unconscious.” She turned to Papyrus. “Why didn’t you just kiss her, you dolt?” Papyrus remained silent as Undyne crossed her arms. “Listen, I’m not going to let Mettaton be your first kiss!” 

Papyrus looked at his friend in genuine surprise. “How did you know that?”

Alphys stammered. “He likes to talk...a lot.”

Papyrus shook his head. “Well he wasn’t my first kiss,” he admitted. Undyne cocked her eye at him before her mouth opened into a big grin. 

“You ALREADY kissed her!” Undyne deduced. Papyrus felt his face become heated and he sputtered unintelligently. She slapped him hard on the back. “Ahh! That’s great! How did it happen?”

“If-if you want to t-tell us, that it,” Alphys piped up, “you-you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Bullshit! He’s gotta tell me.” Undyne smirked. Papyrus looked distraught and gestured downwards.

“But, the human!” he protested, “I need to fix her.”

Undyne groaned and then scooped you up before he could protest. “I’ll fix her. You tell me us how it happened.” Papyrus quickly nodded as Undyne began to carry you into the house.

“It happened Saturday night. After I called you and you said you were watching a movie with Alphys,” Papyrus recalled.

“Uh-Undyne we-we didn’t watch a movie,” Alphys began. Undyne shot her a look that made Alphys blush. “Oh! Oh! Yes, we did. I forgot,” she turned crimson.

Papyrus missed the look and continued, “Yes, it was a really loud movie, I kept hearing a woman screaming “yes” in the background or something? You’ll have to let Sans and I borrow it sometime. It sounded very exciting.” 

Undyne gritted her fangs and walked faster, feeling herself color as well. “So, Saturday night, you got Doggo, yes?”

“Yes. I brought him back to Grillby’s and then Aaron said there was a female ghost in the bar and we all started looking.”

“A female ghost?” The monsters had gotten inside the home at this point. 

Papyrus nodded. “Sans said he caught the ghost in the back so I went to go get her. But it turns out the ghost had escaped and tied up the human instead. It was really dark so I didn’t know it was her at first. She was really scared of the ghost because she started calling for help. And then I kissed her.” Undyne had just lain you on a bed during the course of this story but froze as Papyrus concluded his tale proudly. 

She and Alphys exchanged looks. “Pap…” Alphys asked, “Are-are you saying that you kissed the human while she was tied up and calling for help?” 

“Well, she was more screaming, but yes,” Papyrus nodded. He blanched. “Was that bad?” 

The lizard coughed nervously. “Uhhh, it’s not the ideal first kiss, but uh..that actually does sound bad.” Undyne placed a hand on your forehead as Alphys excused herself. 

“Are you sure?” Papyrus asked nervously.

“Your older brother ties up the human and you kiss her while she’s screaming for help,” Undyne laughed dryly. Papyrus’ sockets widened and his jaw hung open. Wow! When she put it that way, it sounded very bad!

“What do I do?” he asked quickly.

“Well, clearly, there is only one thing to do,” Undyne placed her head against your chest, listening for a heartbeat. “You’ll just have to kiss her again.”

Papyrus glanced at your lips. That made sense. It would be like a redo? “Right now?” he asked, placing a hand gently against your cheek. You were really soft.

“What?! No! Jeez, not right now. She’s unconscious, Pap. No,” Undyne scolded, causing Papyrus to quickly retract his hand from your cheek. “Like, I don’t know, ask her on a date and then kiss her on the date. You know, without getting your brother to tie her up.”

Papyrus wiped his forehead anxiously. Of course. Undyne was right. That made much more sense and honestly was a lot less creepy than kissing you while you couldn’t agree to it. “I guess I can do that. But when would I ask her out?”

“When she wakes up,” Undyne explained, “And maybe she’ll say yes if that konk in the head makes her forget that you dropped her in the first place.”

“Oh.” Papyrus rubbed his arm awkwardly. He had dropped you. He really did not mean to drop you at all. Quite the contrary. But Undyne had caught him off guard at a rather confusing moment. Which reminded him. He stole a peek at Undyne. She was busy fiddling with something by the bed so he took the opportunity to pick up your hand. 

Your hands were rather small. Not as small as Frisk’s, but small compared to his own. He turned it curiously and clicked his teeth together thoughtfully. Somehow this hand had an effect on him earlier and he was determined to figure out what it had done to make him feel so, well, so warm and pleasant and weird. “Undyne, can humans use magic?” He asked. 

Undyne didn’t turn to face him. “Nah, I don’t think so. They can use swords though. Big ones,” she gleefully explained. 

If you had no magic…then how were you able to make his chest feel warm and weird? Even now, just by manipulating your fingers, he felt a low but still pleasurable calmness just by the prolonged contact. Was it just your hands that had this power? An idea briefly entered his skull but he quickly dismissed it with a shake. No, that was a very silly idea and he wasn’t going to even entertain it by thinking about it. Instead, his gloved hand slid down your wrists to your elbow and prodded it. His sockets widened as the enjoyable sensations rose in intensity as he made more contact with you. 

It wasn’t just your hands. It was your body. He eyed you worriedly. Just by touching any part of you stimulated the sensitivity of his bones. That same idea he had refused to consider popped into his skull once more. He quickly tried to dismiss again but it insisted. Maybe…maybe the effects of your touch would be different depending on where he allowed you to touch him? What would happen if your hand was to touch some other part of him? The thought appeared more pleasing to him by the second. Like what if you touched his arm or his foot or his…?

“Papyrus!” Undyne’s shout brought him immediately back to his senses and he quickly looked toward her. “What are you doing?” She asked. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“Put the human’s hand down, she doesn’t need to check your heart rate,” Undyne scoffed. Check his heart rate? What did she mean? Papyrus blinked in surprise and looked to see he was just about to press your hand against his chest, right over where his soul lay. 

Papyrus quickly pulled your hand away from his chest and put it down, feeling himself flush in embarrassment at a new thought that he immediately shut down. “Ah, well, I wasn’t sure. Maybe her feeling mine would make hers keep working?” He tried to explain dismally. It was really hard to come up with a believable excuse when his chest was pounding as hard as it was. 

Undyne rolled her eyes but thankfully did not press further as Alphys returned to the room with an ice pack and a card. She handed the ice pack to Papyrus. “Start icing her legs. She’s g-going to have some bad bruises if you don’t,” Alphys instructed pointing to your legs. 

Papyrus immediately brightened at the suggestion. He wouldn’t be directly touching you, so this shouldn’t instigate the feelings of weirdness. His theory proved correct as he pressed it against your leg and all he could feel was the ice pack beginning to melt in his still very warm gloves.

Undyne looked curiously at the card. “What’s that?” 

“It’s for Papyrus. I think it’s an invitation for Frisk’s birthday. We got one yesterday,” Alphys noted, pointing to the immense amount of glitter glued to the card. 

Papyrus brightened as he iced your shin. “I got fanmail?” he asked hopefully. 

“I don’t think so. Can I open it?” Undyne asked. He nodded and she ripped apart the envelope. She skimmed the card. “Yup. It’s an invite to Frisk’s birthday party this Friday.” 

“Oh, well that’s just as good,” He smiled. 

“Ah, now here’s something different! Alphys and I didn’t have this on our card. Says here that you’re allowed to bring a guest, Pap,” Undyne read. 

Papyrus shrugged. “I’m not sure who I would bring.” Undyne and Alphys slapped claws and fins over their faces. 

“Re-really?” Alphys asked. 

“Oh! I could invite Sans!” Papyrus exclaimed. Alphys groaned

“I’m sure Sans has already been invited,” Undyne informed him. 

“Then I don’t know,” he sulked.

“LORI!” Alphys shouted, pointing to you. “Ask Lori!” Undyne started laughing. Alphys whirled on her next. “Just please call the animal hospital and let them know what happened,” she asked, calming down. 

“Yes ma’am,” Undyne smiled before leaving the room.

Alphys motioned to you once more as you started to stir on the bed. “She looks like she’s going to be up soon. Uh, ju-just keep icing her legs for now. Undyne and I are going to give you guys some space.” 

Papyrus nearly jumped up. “Wait, ah, don’t you want to supervise that I am icing the human correctly?” He asked hopefully. He wasn’t sure how he felt being left alone with you after discovering the very satisfying yet confusing effects that you could inflict upon him.

She glanced at you. “I-I think you’ll be fine. You’re just preventing swelling is all.” She turned to leave but paused and gestured to you, “Uh-uh, be careful if you ice up here though. It’s a sensitive spot,” she mumbled, pointing to your thighs before hurriedly leaving the room. 

Papyrus nyed nervously as you moved again. It wasn’t that he was afraid of you, he acknowledged as he focused on your ankles. It was…worry? No, Papyrus did not worry! Perhaps, ah, just general concern about the thought he had to bury when Undyne called his name. It was such a foreign thought that he couldn’t believe it was his. In fact, it probably wasn’t his, just some stranger’s thought that fluttered into his mind because it recognized how great his own mind was. 

Yes! Of course! Papyrus smiled triumphantly. That made perfect sense. Really! He would never even think of ignoring Undyne’s request to release you…even if it would have given him the opportunity to press your hand and maybe something more against his chest.

…Okay now he really was nervous…When was Alphys coming back again? 

~~~~~

It had been a good day so far. Despite not having you, the other techs had managed to keep up with the patient care. Cheri was just finishing up typing up some client instructions when the phone rang. "I've got it," Pam piped up, picking up the phone. "Sunset Animal Hospital, this is Pam, how can I-oh hi!" Pam broke into an even bigger smile.

Cheri continued typing. "It's nice to speak with you dear. Is our little tech heading back? I'm sorry, I don’t normally say this, but can you speak a little quieter...Did you say an accident?"

Cheri glanced over curiously as Pam's tone changed from optimistic to concerned. A frown began to form on her face. Something was wrong. 

"Well is she alright? Hang on, we will come get her and bring her to the hospital!"

Cheri darted over to Pam and pressed her ear against the other side of the phone. "What’s the address? I'll go right now!" She whispered urgently. She could barely hear the other line. 

"Are you sure? Well, let us know if her condition changes. I'll go let them know in the back that she's not coming back to work today. Thank you for calling us."

Pam hung up the phone and Cheri immediately approached her. "What’s wrong? What happened? Is she alright?"

"Well, apparently one of the training structures they had collapsed with her on it. She’ll be alright, she's just kinda shocked is all." 

Cheri allowed herself a grateful sigh. "Well thank god for that," Cheri breathed. 

"Correct me if I am wrong, but Pam's voice became suddenly calm, “But wasn’t TJ the one who sent her up there?” 

“Yes?” Cheri answered carefully.

“Excellent. Be a dear and let me know when he’s done seeing his last patient. He and I need to have a little chat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you made it this far, thank you. :D
> 
> Fanart List! Feel free to add to it! I would love to see you draw!
> 
>  
> 
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)
> 
>  
> 
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)
> 
>  
> 
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)
> 
>  
> 
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)
> 
>  
> 
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)
> 
>  
> 
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)
> 
>  
> 
>  [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)


	36. The Pressure Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a foot rub by claiming I needed it for the story...and I was right!
> 
> Remember ~~~~~ = scene changes/pov. There's a couple in this chapter. 
> 
> This here be an extra long chapter since you guys have been so patient!! :D
> 
> I haz a tumblr! Feel free to send me funny pics/vids of Undertale and now Pokemon Go! [MY TUMBLRi](smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com)

Flecks of light began to pierce through the darkness as you regained consciousness. You stirred slightly as your vision returned. Where were you? What time was it? Had you suffered any permanent drain bramage? Your mind was fuzzy but bits and pieces began to return.

You remembered the volleyball…oh sorry, you meant the volleybomb. You remember Alphys freaking out and Papyrus yelling. Why were they yelling again? Wait a minute. The Gauntlet… You ran the entire gauntlet! You beat that fucking obstacle course and then blew it up! Your chest swelled in pride at that recollection only to wince as the actual act of your chest swelling hurt. Oh yeah. The bomb.

You blinked as the last shreds of darkness vanished and you realized you were lying on someone's bed. You shifted slowly, wincing at the action. Yeah. You hurt. Ow. Something was touching your leg. You looked towards the edge of the bed to see if you could see the source. Papyrus was sitting on the edge by your legs. He had proven to be unabashedly helpful during your gauntlet, despite you swearing and ignoring him. And he more than likely saved your life when you were forced to jump from the tower.

Should you keep ignoring him? He hadn't seemed to realize you had woken up yet so you could theoretically fake unconsciousness until someone picked you up...that is, if someone was going to pick you up. Who knew you were actually here? Your work would but they would have just figured you got stuck in traffic and if they did find out what was wrong, when would they be able to come up and get you? You could text Jeremy but it would be difficult to explain what exactly happened without implicating Alphys which you really didn't want to do. You didn't really blame Alphys... Okay you did. But it was hard to be mad at her still. Especially because of how sore you felt. It was hard to feel anything but soreness, especially in your legs. 

Speaking of legs, what was Papyrus doing near yours? You stole another glance and saw his hands touching your ankle. You tensed. The last time he placed his hands on you, he used magic to enter your mind. You did not want a repeat of that performance and rapidly forced yourself to a sitting position.

"No! No healing magic!" You shouted, grabbing his wrist. Papyrus looked up in alarm as you yanked his hand away. You blinked in surprise. He was holding an ice pack. "Huh? An ice pack?" You questioned.

Papyrus nodded. "You have some bruises. Alphys told me that I should ice them so that they don’t get worse. Although this ice pack isn’t very cold anymore.” You released his hand, laughing awkwardly. He was still wearing his gloves too. Overreact, much?

“Uh…sorry about that. I thought you were doing um well,” you tried to say. 

He nodded understandingly. “No, I wouldn’t do it unless you told me it was alright,” he assured you and you relaxed.

“Thank you.” You lapsed into silence again. What was your plan now? You had no idea. You broke Mettaton’s new rule and spoke to Papyrus. So at this point, your mind was kinda blanking on what to do next. You spotted a window nearby and began to watch outside while you came up with a new plan. 

“Please don’t ignore me,” Papyrus suddenly plead, grabbing your arm. The action caught you off guard and you felt yourself color as you looked at him. He realized what he had done and released your hand, coughing awkwardly. “Communication is the key to building friendship!” he announced, “So I ask that you tell me why you are ignoring me...unless we’re not friends anymore.” His voice wavered towards the end. 

You sighed. He was right. Fuck, Cheri was right too. You attempted to scoot closer only to wince. “Ow, ow, you’re right. We’re friends,” you admitted. “Fuck my body hurts,” you groaned. 

“Hey, I made you dorks some tea!” You both turned to see Undyne entering the room with two cups of some hot golden looking liquid. You carefully took one from her and Papyrus took the other. “Oh, I called your work. They said don’t worry about coming back in. They’ll comp the rest of your hours so just take it easy.”

You relaxed somewhat as you took a sip of the hot tea. Well at least someone knew where you were…even if they weren’t coming to get you. Jerks. “Thanks, I was wondering what I was going to tell them.” 

Undyne shot you a toothy grin. “Yeah, so you nerds got all the time you need to figure things out. And you’re not leaving until you do.” The monster jumped back outside and slammed the door shut. You could hear a lock clicking. 

“Wait, what?” You gasped. You forced yourself off the bed and banged on the door. “Undyne! Seriously! Unlock the door!”

Undyne cackled outside. “No can do.”

Papyrus approached the door as well. “Did she really lock the door?” He asked.

“Yes!” You confirmed, pulling on the handle uselessly. Your answer seemed to unnerve him greatly. He knocked politely on the door.

“Undyne, I would appreciate it if you open the door,” Papyrus asked. 

“Nope.”

“Please?”

“Hmmm. Let me think about it.” You could hear Undyne walk away. You felt your legs twitch angrily underneath you, threatening to give out any second. 

“Fuck, going down,” you muttered as you fell back to the ground. Papyrus caught you, again, thankfully and helped you back onto the bed. “Thanks. Again, actually,” you chuckled as he sat back down by your feet. 

Papyrus smiled. “No worries. I’m always glad to help. I’m just sorry Undyne is acting this way. She’s very passionate so when she sets her mind to something, it’s very hard to stop her,” he apologized.

You couldn’t help but laugh. The situation was still too absurd to be mad. Instead, you decided to focus on the next problem that had been presented to you. The fact that you really couldn’t walk. “Man, I really hope my legs feel better before tomorrow otherwise I’m going to be useless at work,” you observed. Papyrus looked like he was about to say something but he stopped. You sighed. Yeah, there was no way you would be completely recovered by the time you had to go to work tomorrow. “Okay,” you acquiesced, “maybe you can do some healing magic on ONE condition!” 

“Yes?” Papyrus asked eagerly. 

“Do NOT go into my mind,” you ordered. Papyrus averted his sockets awkwardly but nodded his head. 

“I will try not to,” Papyrus agreed. He removed his gloves as you brushed your hair out of the way of your face.

“Do you want me to stay sitting or lay down?” You asked. He had done this with you standing last time but that was no longer an option considering the condition you were in. Plus, the image of Papyrus having to kneel down in front of your waist in order to heal just gave you an overall weird vibe. 

“Uh...maybe laying down would be best,” Papyrus admitted, his cheek bones lightly blushing the moment he spoke those words. 

You didn’t really notice the change. “Cool, cool.” You laid down all the way. “Alright, I’m ready.” You began to close your eyes as Papyrus approached your bottom half only for them to immediately shoot open as you felt something brush the soles of your feet. “Woah! Woah! Woah!” You exclaimed, sitting back up. 

Papyrus worriedly looked up at you. ‘Human! What’s wrong? Have I hurt you?”

“No, it’s just! Where are my shoes?” You asked. Your shoes were totally gone, leaving you with bare naked feet. One of which, Papyrus had wrapped a long skeletal hand around. Damn, the size of his hand to your foot only cemented the fact that he was much larger than you. You thanked the higher powers that he was friendly. 

“Oh!” Papyrus looked around the room. “Hmm, perhaps Dr. Alphys has taken them to repair them. You burned them quite a bit when going over the fire pit.”

“Oh that’s cool.” Fuck, you were never getting your shoes back. Or at least not without some modifications. Which brought you to the other pressing matter. Literally. Papyrus’ fingers were still gently pushing on the arch of your foot as he watched you for an answer. “Sorry, ah, yeah, you can continue.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, sorry. I was just surprised is all that you were touching my feet,” you tried to explain. There was a skeleton holding your foot. You never thought you would think those words in that order before. 

“They are nice feet.” Papyrus complimented you.

“Ah..uh thanks?” Way to make an awkward situation even more awkward. You had to resist the urge to pull your foot out of his grasp and forced yourself to remain sitting. 

“Are you ready?” He asked one more time. You nodded and felt yourself tense as the orange pupil came to life at your acceptance. The bones began to probe and rub parts of your feet. It actually felt kind of nice. Almost like a foot massage. You hadn’t had one of those in a while. Maybe you should get a pedicure soon. 

Papyrus glanced up at you and caught you smiling. You chuckled. “That, uh feels really nice actually.” 

Papyrus looked rather proud of himself at your statement. “I am very glad to hear that. Of course, it’s no surprise because I am the Great Papyrus,” he bragged. He returned his attention to your foot and put some more pressure into his touches. 

Maybe you should pay attention to what he was doing? You were rather curious so you watched patiently. Now that you were actively watching it, you could see orange magic coursing through his phalanges and illuminating your skin where they touched. This was kinda cool, you realized, as he ran a thumb along the arch of your foot. You were getting worried over nothing-

A sudden jolt shot up your leg and practically electrocuted your lower back muscles. The muscles of your lumbar region, and you meant all the muscles of your lumbar region, spasmed and contracted in response to the jolt and you couldn’t help but let out a startled, choked moan. You slammed two hands over your mouth immediately. Oh my God. You did not just moan. Maybe he didn’t hear it. You risked a glance at Papyrus.

Shit. The skeleton watched you with wide sockets. He heard you loud and clear. His orange eye flickered nervously, still maintaining his magic current on you although now he appeared to be taking deep breaths to do so. He must have hit a pressure point. You had to say something, stupid, think! 

You pulled your hands away and coughed. “I’m okay. You, uh, hit a pressure point.” 

“Pressure point?” 

“Uh, it’s like a ball of nerves that affect other parts of the body-ah!” Fuck, your entire legs were hypersensitive you realized as just him dragging the tips of his fingers over one of your toes made your skin crawl. You tried to muffle yourself again but Papyrus leaned forward and grabbed your wrist before you could quiet yourself.

“Was that noise a cry of pain? Do you want me to stop?” He pressed. 

“No! Ah, I mean. It was a good noise. Uh…” Your womanhood was tense and you absolutely hated yourself right now. Congrats, you were aroused by a foot massage. Granted, it was brought about by hitting a pressure point in your foot and really, when was the last time a guy really touched your legs? The orange magic flashed by your feet and you realized with some trepidation that although Papyrus had promised not to delve into your mind, you probably weren’t helping by getting all worked up and increasing the risk of him finding out. Ah man, you had to think of something, anything else. “Hey, will it distract you if I text on my phone?”

Papyrus appeared unsure. “Well alright. No, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

You pulled out your phone from under your sports bra, and breathed a sigh of relief when it wasn’t damaged during your run. Your phone lit up with a few notifications. You bit your lip as you saw the Undernet app blinking rapidly. Did you dare? Yes, yes you did. You clicked on the app. 

“Royal Guard in Training Saves Beautiful Nurse from Certain Doom!” The headline proudly read. You stuck out your tongue. “Aw man.” 

“Hmm?” 

“We made the Undernet news,” You couldn’t help but chuckle as the orange glow flickered. “Wanna see?”

“Yes please.” You handed the phone the phone over to the skeleton who took it carefully in one of his hands. He glanced at it and his grin froze. But only for a moment as you began to joke. 

“Beautiful nurse? Pshaw! Yeah right. More like Stupid Panicked Nurse,” You teased yourself. 

“You don’t think you’re beautiful?” Papyrus asked, catching you off guard.

“Ah, well, I mean, there’s a lot of other better looking women out there.” You both jumped as your phone rang in the skeleton's hand. “Maybe I need to answer it?” You asked, reaching for your phone. 

To your surprise, Papyrus flicked your phone to silent and put it down out of your reach. “Human, I have neglected my duty in healing your injuries,” he stated before you could protest. “Lie down,” he asked strangely. You hesitated. Was he angry with you? He watched you hesitate and his voice softened, “Please?” You found yourself almost mechanically lying back down and stared up at the ceiling in wonder.

That was, uh, odd but you didn’t reflect on it too much as Papyrus finished with your feet. You could feel the familiar warmth at your ankles and you couldn’t but let out a happy sigh. There was something comforting about the magic. It appeared that the bruises were not that deep because you felt Papyrus’ hands move upwards after only a few seconds at your ankles. His hands pressed into your shins gently and this time only a small moan broke from your lips. You really couldn’t help it. It felt even better than it did the first time he had tried this with you. Then again, last time you weren’t exactly totally on board with him using magic. 

You could almost swear that he was doing this on purpose to make you feel this good but you quickly pushed that thought away. Like he was purposely massaging the skin or something. Yeah right, there was no way that Papyrus could even conceive of doing that. You discreetly placed one of your knuckles in your mouth to muffle the next moan that tumbled out. Thankfully, he didn’t even glance at you. He seemed rather concentrated in healing you instead. At least you were moaning quietly enough not to draw his attention this time.

~~~

Papyrus was doing everything in his power to have you make those noises without outright asking you to. And no, you were not that quiet.

Maybe, maybe he should think about this a little bit before he got a bit too carried away. You had laid down and allowed him to take your feet, only to quickly sit up when he actually touched you. Perhaps you were not used to being barefoot? Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t used to taking off his boots so he could understand your discomfort at the unexpected exposure. He was able to keep a steady grip on your feet despite your initial shyness and you finally allowed him to start casting. 

You were rather quiet as he worked on the bruised skin on your feet. The silence made him slightly nervous and he glanced up at you to see if you were alright. To his pleasant surprise, you were smiling. “That, uh feels really nice actually,” you admitted and Papyrus felt his chest swell with pride at your statement. 

“I am very glad to hear that. Of course, it’s no surprise because I am the Great Papyrus,” he bragged to you. You seemed to smile even wider at the statement and he happily returned to the arches of your feet. The human anatomy was so strange and he couldn’t help but run a bony finger along the side of your foot. His sockets arched in surprise as he found an especially tight portion on the center of your sole. It wasn’t an injury, but surely you wouldn’t mind if he helped loosen the most likely sore part of your foot so he pressed in. 

And then you made a noise. A noise that made him nearly sever the connection between you both. You looked absolutely mortified and Papyrus was too caught off guard to stop you from muffling yourself. He felt his own magic threatening to spike and he quickly wrestled it under control. He focused on your eyes which echoed your fear and…something else? He wasn’t entirely sure but he managed to steady himself and prevent his chest from pounding by taking a few deep breaths. 

“I’m okay. You, uh, hit a pressure point.” 

Papyrus cocked his head at you. “Pressure point?” 

“Uh, it’s like a ball of nerves that affect other parts of the body-ah!” Your explanation immediately ended with the same noise as his fingers gently brushed your feet once more. He saw your hands coming back up to cover those lips of yours and he snagged one of them before it had an opportunity to do so.

“Was that noise a cry of pain? Do you want me to stop?” He asked worriedly. He really liked that sound you made again, but not at the expense of your health.

“No! Ah, I mean. It was a good noise. Uh…” Your voice trailed off. Papyrus’ chest lightened considerably at the statement. He was very happy to see he hadn’t hurt you. That would have been the exact opposite of what he wanted to do! But since you were alright, maybe he could ask you why you made that noise. “Hey, will it distract you if I text on my phone?” Your voice suddenly spoke up.

Darn, maybe later. “Well alright. No, it shouldn’t be a problem,” He found himself telling you. He watched in surprise as you pulled out your phone from inside your battle attachment. Wowie! It certainly had many uses! What a neat invention. He was about to work on your ankles when your laughter caught his attention

“Aw man…We made the Undernet news.” What? Papyrus was startled by the news, but still not enough to break the magic. He had been practicing maintaining his concentration. “Wanna see?” You offered. 

Papyrus released your hand and took the phone from you curiously. “Royal Guard in Training Saves Beautiful Nurse from Certain Doom!” The headline screamed. Hey! Did this mean he was famous now? At least his efforts to enter the Royal Guard had not gone unnoticed. His grin froze at the last part of the title. Certain doom? That was a bit of an overstatement. He was sure with enough time, you would have found a way off the building without exploding it. You were very resourceful. 

“Beautiful nurse? Pshaw! Yeah right. More like Stupid Panicked Nurse,” he heard you mock yourself. Your comments surprised him and he looked you over carefully. Did you not think you were beautiful? He thought you were quite lovely. And smart too!

“You don’t think you’re beautiful?” Papyrus asked. He watched your face become flushed.

“Ah, well, I mean, there’s a lot of other better looking women out there,” you started to mumble. Papyrus felt something resolute settle in his chest. He wanted to make you feel beautiful. The sound of your phone ringing in his hand jolted you both out of your talk. What unfortunate timing. He glanced at the contact name and felt his chest clench. It was your other date. “Maybe I need to answer it?” You asked, reaching for your phone. 

It was at that moment that Papyrus decided to do something that later on, he might have considered a poor judgement call. Before he could stop himself, he found himself switching your phone to silent and purposely placing it out of your reach. He spotted the surprise in your face and brushed it aside. Right now, it was his mission to make you feel good about yourself. Not anyone else’s. His. And he really couldn’t do that if there were more interruptions. He needed you alone.

He cleared his throat. “Human, I have neglected my duty in healing your injuries,” he informed you. His voice came out a little deeper than he would have liked as he found himself ordering you to lie back down on the bed in front of him. You appeared nervous at that statement and Papyrus instantly regretted even asking you to do this, much less touching your phone. He shook his head and smiled at you in an attempt to show he meant no harm. “Please?” he asked. To his pleasant surprise, you lowered yourself back onto the bed and watched the roof. 

And now, here he was…trying to figure out what he had exactly done to get you to make those noises. Papyrus thought you only made those noises when you were kissed so it was a rather large shock to hear you make that noise when he touched your feet. Some guilt throbbed in the back of his mind, but he kept trying to remind himself he was doing this to heal you. That it was easier for him to do healing magic if you were on your back because you could see the whole leg. Plus, you had said they were good noises so having you make them really wasn’t hurting anyone, right?

Your bruises were thankfully more superficial than the one you had on your neck and they healed quickly. He found that kneading your skin proved to be the most surefire way to get you to make those noises and proceeded to work his way up your legs until he reached the base of your shorts.

He clicked his teeth together. He wasn’t sure if you required healing there and he didn’t want to go sticking his hand underneath your shorts without permission. That would be pretty rude. “Um, Lori?” he ventured, maintaining a low stream of magic. 

“Hmm?”

“Are you injured um, here?” he asked, somewhat shyer than he would have like. 

“Under my shorts? Yeah, they’re kinda sore,” you admitted, “If you're that determined to heal me, I guess you can touch there if you want,” you chuckled 

Papyrus did not expect your response and his jaw dropped. His magic spiked before he could stop himself. 

~~~~~

You were suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of confusion, hesitancy, fear and guilt. Those weren’t your thoughts. You sat up quickly and stared at Papyrus. “Hey! What did I say about doing the mind thing?” You growled.

Papyrus quickly removed his hands, disconnecting the magic and taking away the pleasurable warmth. “I’m sorry human, it’s just, ah I didn’t expect you to say that.” You watched him carefully before Mettaton’s words echoed in your head. 

You had an overt sexual presence, as Mettaton so delicately put it. A mischievous thought entered your mind as you watched Papyrus, still slightly disoriented, slip his gloves back on. You had your suspicions that the skeleton was rather conscious to any physical contact between you two, especially after he caught you from the exploding tower. However, the skeleton seemed far too sensitive to your touch and you honestly could not tell if he was reacting positively or negatively. You decided to test it out.

“Papyrus, do I make you nervous?” you asked, gently taking one of his hands.

Papyrus chuckled nervously, “The Great Papyrus never gets nervous,” he declared unsuredly.

“Oh really?” You pulled him closer to you. He trembled slightly. “Not even the tiniest bit?” Papyrus shook his head, deciding not to risk opening his mouth and giving away that he was actually quite nervous. You grinned. “You’re not afraid of me right?” 

Papyrus shook his head again, feeling more comfortable with that question. “You may be a formidable opponent, but I do not fear you,” he smiled warmly at you.

“Well...would you like to touch me?”

“Wh-what?!” Papyrus didn’t think he heard you correctly. 

You smiled patiently. “You can touch me if you like. Not with healing magic. Just actually touching me…Until you no longer feel weird about it.” You released his hand and flopped back down on the bed.

Papyrus looked around for assistance but there was nobody else. “Lori, I’m not sure about this,” he began. You couldn’t help but notice the way he quickly took in your figure sprawled out on the bed. “Ah...where would you want me to touch you?” He asked curiously.

You scoffed, trying to quell the rapid beating in your own chest. “Anywhere you want.” Papyrus scooted a little closer to you. His hands hovered over your thighs carefully. You tried to maintain the sexy suaveness that Mettaton had convinced you that you possessed, but you felt somewhat hollow about this turn of events. Somehow you imagined this going differently and you couldn't help but feel disappointed. “Let’s just-just get this over with,” you muttered. 

Papyrus made a face at your tone and withdrew his arms. He folded them over his chest and looked down at you. “I do not have a good feeling about this,” he admitted. 

You found yourself angrily sitting back up. “What? I’m not good enough for you again?” You spat irritably. He uncrossed his arms and stared at you in shock. You scoffed. “Oh you don’t remember huh? Right, what exactly did you say? Oh yeah.” You coughed and imitated Papyrus as condescendingly as you could, “I am very great, so you understand right why I won’t go on a date with you.”

Papyrus looked flustered. “Was that supposed to be me you were impersonating?”

“Yeah.”

“Nyeh, it’s good for a first try,” he smiled weakly. 

“It’s not supposed to be good, but thanks,” you grumbled. 

“But, I didn’t mean it that way.” You hmpfed and turned to look at the window. Papyrus sighed. “I can’t tell you why I said what I said, but I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Of course I’m very great, but you are very great too.” You smirked slightly at the admission. The image of Papyrus being a cocky ass was disintegrating slowly back to the picture of an overconfident and overzealous skeleton. 

But…that didn’t mean you weren’t still mad. “You think I’m great?” You asked, swiveling your head back to face him. 

Papyrus nodded. “Yes. Stubborn but still great.” 

“Cool. Then touch me.”

Papyrus threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. “Are you serious?” he asked. 

You nodded. “Look! I’m not an idiot. You clearly have some type of problem with me because every time either of us make any type of physical contact, you get all freaked out,” You argued. Papyrus shifted his sockets. 

“That’s not quite it,” Papyrus explained slowly.

“Then what is it then?” You demanded. Papyrus was silent. You gritted your teeth. “Listen, you’ve been acting really weird. Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“I’m really sorry, but, ah, I’m not supposed to,” Papyrus apologized. 

Talking was getting you nowhere. Time to revert back to Plan A. “If you won’t tell me what's up and you won’t even try to touch me or hell, give me even a reason why not, then we’re done here. Go ahead and break the door down or something because I’m done talking with you.” You emphasized your point by this time turning your whole body once more to face the window. You were handling this as maturely as a 14 year old. 

“I’m not breaking down Undyne’s door,” he spoke seriously, “I already broke her windows seven times in the last month.” You didn’t outwardly register the words but inside you were thinking how the fuck did he break seven windows? You didn’t move. “Please don’t ignore me,” Papyrus asked sadly. You hmpfed once more and remained sitting, facing the window. 

“...” 

You felt the bed shift slightly as he sighed. “Very well, if I must do it this way,” his voice came out strained and slightly lower than normal. It was real quiet for a moment and you wondered briefly if he had gotten up to break the door down after all. Maybe you should sneak a peek? 

You didn’t get a chance. A strong hand seized your shoulder and roughly spun you away from the window. You let out a startled gasp as you were pushed backwards, your head thankfully hitting the pillows at the top of the bed with your arms landing on either side of you. You attempted to lift yourself into a sitting position only to be immediately pinned to the bed by two familiar gloved hands. You let out a frustrated growl and tried to push off the hands holding you down but froze as an even lower growl from your assailant sent shivers down your spine. You looked up in alarm to see Papyrus looming over you, his pupil burning a searing orange. He looked absolutely predatory as he greedily took in your entire quivering, panting body with that orange eye. 

He chuckled rather darkly. “Looks like I caught a human.” 

Uh oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be careful what you wish for. (aka, Goddammit, Mettaon). What do you think's going to happen? :3
> 
> Next chapter will have some NSFW content which will be separated by asterisks.
> 
> Fanart List! Feel free to add to it! I would love to see you draw!  
>    
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)
> 
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
>    
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)
> 
>  
> 
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)
> 
>  
> 
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)
> 
>  
> 
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)
> 
>  
> 
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)


	37. Other Ways of Making You Talk (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW chapter!  
> This chapter is pretty much NSFW in general, there's one scene that's not, but it's minor.
> 
> Btw, you guys are super thirsty for sexy possessive Papyrus!!! I love it! :D  
> Remember ~~~~~ = scene change/pov change  
> ***start nsfw, ***end nsfw
> 
> Uh, first part is in Pap's POV. Not sure if I made that clear enough but in case i didn't, now you know!
> 
> Onward to sexiness!

***

 

You just had to keep pushing didn’t you? You wouldn’t just sit down and talk like any normal human, would you? You had to insist that he touch you, again and again and every time it got a little bit more difficult to resist. And then you shut down. You refused to even acknowledge his presence.

Well, it was a little hard for you to ignore him now, wasn’t it? Papyrus had sparred and wrestled with the Guard Dogs and had almost won once against Undyne so he was no stranger in pinning an opponent. And you had been quite easy to pin. He took some satisfaction in watching your eyes, which had been hard initially, immediately widened in surprise at his actions. He had your attention for a second before you began to fight him.

You couldn’t just stay still and let him talk? Your refusal to submit was beginning to frustrate him. He didn’t want to hurt you and he almost let you up until you growled. Papyrus couldn’t believe it. You had growled, like some feral creature caught in a trap. His trap. He felt his own chest rumble at that thought and he responded with an even lower growl of his own.

Your fighting stopped immediately and Papyrus grinned. That was a good human. Perhaps you just needed a little forcefulness to command your attention. Papyrus felt his magic swelling up at this theory and he watched you try to shut down again. He couldn’t let you do that. He pressed your arms more forcefully against the mattress and darkly chuckled “Looks like I caught a human.”

Your mouth opened in shock but no words came out. No matter. Papyrus scoffed. “Still unable to speak?” He watched your eyes narrow and your lips purse angrily. “Perhaps it’s not just your legs that need touching,” his voice trailed off and he eyed your lips with far too keen of an interest. You gasped as he pressed his chest against yours and leaned down to kiss you.

~~~~~

Undyne and Alphys sat at the table, tapping on it languidly. The fish monster watched the hallway leading to the bedroom and groaned. “Ughhh, this is boring!! I’m going to check on them again!” She declared, standing up.

“N-no!” Alphys spoke up, hovering her claw over her girlfriend’s arm but did not actually grab her. “We got to let them, you know, figure things out?”

“But-!”

Alphys pointed to the clock. “They’ve got until 5. That’s a whole hour from now. You and I promised we weren’t going to bother them until then!” Alphys reminded her.

Undyne flopped back down to the table dejectedly. Yeah, they did promise each other they weren’t going to disturb you and Papyrus. There was clearly a level of miscommunication between you two that the couple hoped you would both break through if you were trapped long enough together.

Alphys blushed. “Uh, well maybe if uh we’re good, we can do the thing that you like tonight.” Undyne raised an eyebrow at the rapidly reddening scientist.

“You don’t mean…” Undyne asked eagerly. Alphys nodded shyly, her face now a healthy beet red. The warrior broke into a humongous fanged smile. “Aw man, Alphys! That would be so cool!!” She stuck out her hand. “Alright, you got a deal. I won’t let anyone interfere until 5:00PM.”

Alphys shook the hand. “Thanks, Undyne! That really means a lo-!” The monster froze as the sound of a shriek shot from the hallway followed by a loud crash.

“Huh, that sounds like the human,” Undyne observed.

Alphys paled. “That WAS the human! Oh my god, Undyne! We have to go see what’s wrong!” The dinosaur monster attempted to scurry in the direction only to find Undyne retaining her steely grip on her hand.

“Nope!”

“Wh-what?”

“You made me promise not to let anyone in. And that includes you.”

“B-but, the human!”

Undyne waved her hand. “Yeah, I bet she’s fine. I’m sure they’re making a lot of progress!” Alphys shot another worried glance at the door as Undyne guided her outside. “Hey! This is Pap we’re talking about! He’s way too nice to do anything bad! Now let’s go find your track shorts!”

~~~~~

You scrambled backwards until your back collided against the headboard of the bed. Your legs had fully recovered due to the prior healing magic. Which was good because you just used them to kick a skeleton off the bed. You took the moment of respite to let out a shaky gasp and pull back down your shirt which had been tousled in the scuffle. You were a panting, disheveled mess. What the hell happened?

Papyrus had jumped you. He fucking jumped you! And those comments! You still couldn’t believe it. Yes, okay, yes you did ask him to touch you, but you had no idea he would actually follow through! You didn’t think he was even capable of that. Had he tried to kiss you too?! You needed a moment to think and the sound of your chest pounding and your own body’s quivering excitement did little to help you concentrate.

Your respite did not last long. Another growl brought your attention to the bottom of the bed to see Papyrus had recovered far too quickly from your surprise attack and stalked after you. He did not look pleased. Could you fight him? You looked at the size difference and blanched. No way in hell. You would lose rather quickly…and what would happen to you if you lost? You glanced at the door. It might be locked but maybe you could force it open?

Papyrus caught you looking and smirked. “Human, give up and accept defeat! Nyeh heh heh heh,” he laughed. Your eyes widened. He actually did the laugh. Despite your current circumstances, that was pretty funny and an incredulous smile broke out on your face.

“Oh my God, you did the laugh,” you wondered out loud.

Your comment made Papyrus falter and he actually appeared somewhat dismayed at your words. “Ah-uh well, it was supposed to strike awe and terror into you?” He mumbled, his orange magic dimming.

You felt a bit bad for saying that and stood up on the bed. You struck a defiant pose. “It most certainly did! However, not even you can stop me from escaping!” You teased back. You instantly regretted the jab. The skeleton’s magic burned bright once more as he became even more eager to stop you now.

“Nyeh heh heh! Prepare to be captured, human!” One good leap and he would probably catch you again. He seemed to be aware of that as well and you watched him tense as he prepared to jump. Uh...maybe you could distract him? Fuck it, worth a shot.

“Look! A human!” You shouted, pointing toward the window.

“Nyeh?!” He turned. He actually fucking turned. You jumped off the bed and bolted to the door. You rammed your shoulder against it only for the door to remain firmly in place. Still locked. And now your shoulder hurt.

“Ow! Fuck!” You swore. Man, movies made doors look so easy to knock down. You made a mental note as you pressed both hands against the door that you should seriously write a letter to someone about that. Wait, why were you breaking down the door again? “Oh shit!” You remembered.

You were yanked roughly backwards as Papyrus grabbed you around the waist and lifted you up easily with one arm. You struggled and kicked. “That was a good effort, human!” He praised. You were not out yet, dammit! You managed to grab and hold on to the door handle with both hands.

“I’m gonna scream!” You threatened. He stopped pulling you. A smug smile alighted on your face. Heh, that did it. Your victory was turned to confusion as his other arm came around and pressed down on your chest, pushing you even closer to his figure behind you.

“Go ahead,” His voice came out dark and husky right next to your ear and you shuddered at the close proximity. Your heart beat rapidly as you swore you felt heated breath on your neck. “I would enjoy it,” he purred into your ear.

“W-what?!” You gasped, your grip slackening. He took advantage of your surprise and brought his second arm sharply down on the antecubital spaces of your arms. The action successfully pinned your arms to your side and in doing so, wrenched them away from your grip on the door knob.

You kicked at the air as he carried you back to the bed which had been thoroughly unmade by this point. Your mind was racing. You can’t have lost! You hated being carried like a sack of potatoes! Why was he bringing you back to the bed? Was he going to do lewd things to you? Did he even know what lewd things were?!

All these thoughts went to the backburner when Papyrus threw you to the bed. You landed on your rear and quickly tried to sit up only to make eye contact with the skeleton. The orange eye was still there and it looked at you in such a ravenous way that you felt every hair on your body stand on end. Papyrus wasn’t quite on the bed yet, his knees resting on the mattress with his feet still semi planted on the ground. One of his long arms reached forward and seized your ankle before you could yank it away. “Wait wait wait wait wait!” You squealed as he attempted to pull you back down to him.

His fingers traveled to the bottom of your trapped foot and he eyed you lasciviously. “I’m done waiting, human.” With that, he pressed roughly into the sole of your foot.

“Ah!” You moaned as he triggered your other pressure point. Your struggling legs felt like jelly and he pulled you underneath his large frame rather easily while you moaned and squirmed to your once again hypersensitive lower muscles. You recovered enough of your senses to realize what was happening and attempted another kick only for him to push your leg up. You weren’t that flexible and you couldn’t help but wince and let out a pained gasp as he forced it roughly up into the air.

You could have sworn you saw a flash of concern cross his skull at your discomfort but it vanished quickly when he spotted you watching him. Papyrus did seem to let your leg lax a little, greatly reducing the discomfort, and began to stroke it. The gentle gesture after practically being thrown to the bed and grabbed like a rag doll was jarring and it honestly took you a few moments before you allowed yourself to enjoy the touch.

The tension in the room began to fade as you ceased struggling. Your free foot that was hanging off the bed swung back and forth languidly. Even the glare of Papyrus’ magic began to soften as your breathing slowed down. Your free foot brushed against one of the skeleton’s legs and you experimentally let your toes lightly run up and down the bones. Papyrus blushed at the gesture and nestled himself closer to you.

You bit your lip and debated what to do at this point. Papyrus may not have realized it, but he had pressed his pelvis against your own which was warm and pulsing from the stimulation of his fervent handling. Your clothing was far thinner than his and if anyone placed a hand on your womanhood, they would most definitely feel the amount of needy heat you were giving off. And if they pushed into it, well, uh…they would be able to tell that you were ready for action. Haha, shit.

Fortunately, it appeared that the skeleton did not notice your body’s change, instead using his new position to brush some hair out of your face with his free hand. The action made your heart pitter patter a bit and you felt your cheeks color. “I think you are very pretty,” Papyrus observed, his voice sounding a lot more normal than it had a minute ago, “And I do wish you would want to talk with me. I like to talk to you.” Looks like he was starting to come out of whatever uh, predatory aggressive mindset that he had fallen into. Perhaps you could talk to him at this point? Maybe ask if he would let you up?

“I do want to talk to you.” You found yourself admitting shyly. Uh, that’s not what you were supposed to say but his sockets seemed soften at the admission.

Your phone rang before he could respond and you froze. You had seen Papyrus silence your phone. Which meant it wouldn’t make a noise when it rang…unless the same person dialed you five times within 10 minutes. It was a safety feature you had the option of doing which allowed you to keep your phone on you at work while still being able to receive an emergency call. Because why else would someone call so frequently?

“Who is it?” You asked as Papyrus picked up your phone and narrowed his sockets. “Is it my parents or my work or-?”

“It’s your date. Again.”

“Jeremy? Wait, what do you mean, again?” You asked. Papyrus stared at your phone. He looked frustrated and did not respond to your question. “Has he been trying to call me?” You pressed. Papyrus didn’t answer but instead turned off your phone. Your eyes widened. “What the hell?” You tried to sit up. His hand, which just a few minutes ago had been softly brushing hair out of your face, pressed you back down roughly. Your leg was dropped with even less grace to the mattress below

You looked up in alarm as Papyrus loomed over you, his eye flashing a bright orange once more. “We’ll start from the beginning,” he declared, pushing you more onto the bed so that both of your legs were no longer dangling.

“The beginning?’ You finally squeaked. He had climbed on the bed slightly so that his chest was near your pelvis. The thought of his upper body anywhere near your lower half made you squirm uncomfortably. You felt rather vulnerable at this point. Did he mean he was going to try your legs again and put your through all of that stimulation once more? You hoped not. “But I don’t need healing!” You tried to protest.

“No more distractions,” he ordered. There was little you could do to prevent him from grabbing your ankles and watching as his phalanges worked their way up your legs, kneading and pulling the skin as they climbed. This should not have felt this good, but it was almost maddening how heated and loud your moans tumbled out. Your breathing hitched in your throat and you fought the urge to arch your back at the pleasurable sensations. You let out a choked moan as he advanced past your kneecaps and reached your thighs.

It was getting to be too much, too fast but God, you could not get enough. Every place your body touched was heating up rather quickly. You rolled your hips as his hands pressed into your inner thighs and the realization that he was this close to your sex grounded you somewhat. You made a motion to close your legs only to hear him growl. Did he just growl at you? The action triggered something primal in you and you immediately relaxed your legs, submitting yourself to the male on top of you. You threw back your head and moaned again.

~~~~~

Papyrus was enraptured with you. He never thought he would meet someone who he found simultaneously likable and irritating at the same time but here you were laying underneath him. His mind faltered slightly as he tried to remember why you were underneath him. You wouldn’t talk. You had been stubborn and refused to speak with him. But now, it appeared to him that you could not remain silent even if you tried. But you weren’t even speaking sentences. Just strange noises.

You had made one of those noises earlier and hearing you do them again so frequently stirred something hot and pulsing within him. His chest just radiated warmth that begged for more fuel. Those noises were not enough. He needed you to speak English. Heck, even just an attempt at saying his name would satisfy him. This plan only spurred him on to explore every inch of you to find out how to have you saying his name in the same way you were making those noises. He wanted you, no he needed you to say his name right now.

These thoughts seemed absolutely foreign to him and he couldn't help but wonder if he was under some form of spell or if he really had these thoughts about you and had just buried them because of their absurdity. Why did he feel so enamored with the idea of you calling out his name? His hands pressed against the soft tissue of your inner thighs, parting your legs in front of him only to come against some resistance as you tried to press your legs back together with a high pitched whine. Perhaps he had overstepped some boundary and he made a motion to remove his hands only to spot your turned off phone.

An odd feeling of discomfort settled in his chest at its sight and his mind drifted to the thought of the other male. Specifically, his interest in you. The thought of you with this other human intensified the feeling of discomfort and irritation that threatened to squelch the fire within his own chest. Papyrus was the one who had brought you to this state of excitable sensitivity, not this other human. He couldn’t help but release another alien growl that rumbled from his chest. Almost immediately, your resistance ceased with another whine and Papyrus found that he could continue his path up your thighs once more unhindered.

As his phalanges reached the base of your shorts, he stopped. You had given him permission to do this and yet, there was something nagging at him to stop. He glanced at your flushed frame once more but you were not looking at him anymore. Your eyes were unfocused and you didn’t really seem to be here. Mentally, at least. You were definitely physically present as his eyes watched your chest rise and fall. He found himself conflicted. On one hand, he couldn’t help but take some perverse delight in watching you cry out underneath him.

On the other hand, you still hadn’t said his name. This wouldn’t do. Perhaps, you needed to be reminded that he had captured you. That in this moment, you belonged to him. And if he wanted you to, you were going to scream his name until your throat was sore. He temporarily released your legs so that he could come closer to you, pressing himself against your hips. He let out a groan of his own as your hips responded to the pressure by grinding against his own pelvis. He gritted his teeth and lowered his skull to your ear.

“I intend to touch you until I am satisfied,” he growled, pressing against your bucking hips, “only after then shall I release you, human.”

“Lori!”

“Eh?” Papyrus found himself caught off guard as you suddenly looked up with bright, open eyes.

It appeared to be a struggle for you to maintain their openness and even the skeleton could see that you were rapidly losing your newly regained focus. “My name-my name is Lori,” You gasped in a moment of lucidity before laughing strangely. “It might get confusing to keep calling me human since there are other humans.” There was something familiar about what you said but Papyrus couldn’t place when he had heard it.

“Confusing? How would that be..confusing?” His voice died in his throat as the image of you in your work uniform materialized in his mind. You were smiling up at him. “Lori?” Papyrus realized. He looked back down at you, hoping to see your smiling face, but you were already gone. Your eyes clouded over and half lidded once more as you succumbed back to writhing underneath.

You were Lori. Not just any human. But Lori. Papyrus tried to push forward and slide the tips of his fingers underneath your shorts. You had been on one date and a hang out. Your hips lifted slightly off the bed, allowing him to stick more of his hand against your thighs as the image of you cutting garlic came into mind. He had to keep going. There was a warmth underneath this article of clothing that drew him to its source. It was almost as warm as you had been when he tucked your sleeping body into his bed that night. He needed to, he had to…

He couldn’t continue. Not with you. Not like this. Papyrus’ probing stopped and he slowly retracted his hands from your legs. His chest shuddered and ached as he did this but he lifted himself off of you and forced him to sit at the edge of the bed, away from you, taking deep breathes as he did.

~~~~~***

The absence of stimulation quickly dragged you down from your high. Your moans turned into ragged coughs as reality forced you to come to terms of how overheated your body had become from this encounter. You brought yourself up to a sitting position and shook your head. The haziness was rapidly dissipating as you realized that the skeleton no longer pinned you. In fact, you didn’t see him anywhere. Had he left you alone?

A deep sigh caught your attention and you quickly looked over to see Papyrus sitting on the edge of the bed, his head bowed and resting between his hands. Nervousness that you had pushed aside began to hit you full force. He was sitting really far from you. A closer peek revealed a blush on his skull and you couldn’t help but feel your stomach drop. Your movements caught his attention and he quickly looked up at you. He seemed worried? Guilty? Definitely embarrassed if the color on his cheekbones were anything to go by. “Papyrus,” you began.

To your surprise, Papyrus motioned you to be silent as he faced you. “I...am facing some complex feelings,” Papyrus began, “feelings of affection and happiness when you are near me...and then feelings of sorrow, especially when you are mad.” He rubbed the back of his skull. “I would normally say that these are feelings that you must be feeling right now but I don’t know if that’s true because, how do I say this…”

You shifted uncomfortably. “Hey,” you admitted, starting to feel guilty, “I’m sorry, I mean I kinda forced you into doing this-.”

“Oh, YOU didn’t force me. I’ve wanted to do things with you,” Papyrus growled, his voice dropping a few octaves as his eye flashed a glaring orange. You felt yourself shudder as he eyed you once more. How in the hell did the magic respawn that fast? Did this monster not have a cool down? Now that you had calmed down, you glanced at him and flinched. He almost looked like he had fangs. To be honest, that kind of freaked you out. Though you weren’t sure if it was a bad thing.

“Holy shit, Papyrus?” you gasped.

“Language,” Papyrus corrected you automatically, the orange eye vanishing immediately. He shook his head and blinked a few times, looking a lot less ominous and more back to his gentle giant stature. “I really want to touch you, human, but I’m very sorry. I know nothing about you!” Papyrus confessed.

He knew nothing about you? How did he not know anything about you? Then again, how much did you really know about him either? You bit your lip. Oh fuckbunnies...he was right. You had met each other only a few days ago. “Oh my god, you’re right. I don’t know anything about you,” you gasped, “I don’t even know your birthday.”

“Neither do I,” Papyrus admitted. “See!”

You brought your knees up to your chin and coughed. “Uh, so what now?”

Papyrus brightened up. “Frisk suggested we play a game called 20 Questions.”

You shrugged. “Uh, sure, not sure how that’s going to help.”

The skeleton monster bounced up and down excitedly. “The rules are simple. You ask me 20 questions about me and then I’ll ask you 20 questions about, er well you.”

You laughed, “That’s not how 20 Questions is played, but sure, what the heck, why not? But let’s alternate between questions, sound good?” Papyrus nodded eagerly. “Alright, uh Question one, er. Do you have a last name?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus tries so hard to be good, but it's tough when a part of you really wants to be bad.  
> Next stop! Uh, learning about each other before going to third base! 
> 
> Artwork inspired by this and previous chapter:  
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> [Catching a human](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107361845/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-3)  
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> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107293745/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-holy)
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> 
> Fanart List  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> 


	38. Learning New Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still here, hi! Thanks for sticking around. Last chapter got a bit steamy there but now we're on to some talking and learning!
> 
> Uh, remember that suspension of disbelief I keep asking you guys to use? Yeah, we're going to use it again. -_- But just know that I love you all very much. Now time for exposition!

Papyrus once had a last name, but it was a really long time ago. And Sans said it wasn’t that good of one anyway so Papyrus had chosen a new one. So he had settled on choosing Snowdin based on the town he was from in the Underground when he came to the surface (also due to his first suggestion to have “The Great” as his last name not going well). Sans had done likewise. You did have a last name which you shared with him...and then he promptly forgot which was fine. You didn’t have any siblings but you had parents. At the moment, they were enjoying a two month cruise of Greece so your contact with them had been sporadic at best at the moment, but you swore you did have them. Papyrus wasn’t sure if he had any of the latter but he could remember being taken care of by someone at some point so that had been alright as well. Again, Sans had been kind of murky on that and Papyrus hadn’t wanted to pry.

He had a bunch of favorite colors. He really liked red, which you admitted you liked that color a lot too. Favorite food was almost a tie as well. He had chosen pasta, you had your noodles. You both liked to cook. You both liked books, but to your pleasant surprise, Papyrus appeared to like it more when someone read to him and you liked it more when you could read to someone. You hadn’t heard of the stories he knew and he hadn’t heard of yours but you both promised to swap them at some point. You did take breaks during the questions as you learned that Papyrus hated being still for too long and he would get up off the bed for a few minutes before returning. 

You didn’t notice it at first, but every time he stood up and then sat back down, he was sitting just a bit closer to you each time. By the time you got to question 15 regarding pet peeves, he was practically next to you, sitting cross legged and bouncing every now and then. “Bad jokes in poor taste,” he grumbled, “Sans and Toriel seem to have a penchant for these terrible jokes that they then share every time we get together. Oh! And leaving laundry on the floor!” Papyrus added. 

“Ah haa, yeah I don’t like the laundry thing too,” you lied, remembering you had left a pile of dirty laundry strewn about your bedroom. But you had been busy, dammit...just you should probably clean it up in case you had a special guest over. Not saying it was Papyrus or anything because there totally was no reason for him to come over at the moment or anytime soon. Just...maybe you should pick up a bit. 

You glanced at his eyes and noticed the white specks had returned. You decided to ask about that. “Uh, so this might be a personal question, but sometimes when you have pupils (I think) uh, well one of them turns orange. The other one disappears. Why is that? Do you control that?” 

Papyrus placed his hand on his cheekbone. “Nyeh, I’m afraid not. It comes out when I need to cast magic although lately I think it’s been showing more often but I’m not quite sure why.” he asked. 

“Maybe you should write down what you’re feeling at the time your eye turns orange and maybe it will help you figure out what’s going on.” 

Papyrus hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t keep a journal on me.” He brightened. “Oh! I know! I always have my phone with me so I’ll just take a picture and send it to you when it happens.” 

You thought that was a pretty good idea. “Haha, alright, that sounds good. Just let me know what you were doing when it happens. Your turn.” 

“What is that noise you make?” he asked. Noise?

"Noise?" You asked. "Which noise are you talking about? I make a lot of them."

Papyrus hummed. "Uh. It's hard to explain. It kinda sounds like this." And then he moaned. "But it's a bit higher when you do it...are you okay?"

"Huh? What?" You asked. 

"Your face is really red, are you feeling alright?" Oh you were certainly not alright. Papyrus had just moaned and he was not very quiet about it. The skeleton did not have a sense of appropriate room volume. 

"Ye-yeah. I'm fine. Uh... So that noise? It's a called a moan. People make that noise when something feels good to them." Hey. That was technically true. You weren't lying. 

Papyrus smiled. "Oh. A moan! How ingenious. It must save people lots of time." You had no idea what he meant by this. You tried to change the topic. 

"Uh so next question-"

"Can you moan for me?" Papyrus asked suddenly. You choked.

"Excuse me?"

"You do it really well," Papyrus insisted. 

"Uhhh, maybe later," you chuckled. The skeleton seemed slightly put out by your answer but returned to his normal happy disposition. 

It dawned on you how close Papyrus sat next to you. About a half hour ago, he was at the edge of the bed and now he was less than a foot away from you, bouncing animatedly. You felt less shy and found yourself thoroughly enjoying his gregarious nature.

"Well last question for me," you giggled, "Do you wear your battle body armor all the time?"

Papyrus nodded enthusiastically. "Sometimes I do have pajamas that I will wear."

"Aw. That's kinda cute. Alright your last question! Go!"

Papyrus beamed. "Will you be my date for Frisk's birthday party?"

You blinked. "Birthday party?" He pulled out a very glittery card and handed it to you. You looked at it with interest. "Hey that sounds pretty fun....uh did you say date?"

Papyrus smiled awkwardly. “Yes I did. I would really like to have you come with me. " he paused and looked at you expectantly.

Oh what the hell. Why not. "You know what, that sounds really nice actually. I'd love to go with you," you admitted. 

"Nyeh heh heh!" Papyrus cheered, catching you in a massive hug. "That makes me very glad! I'm sure we will have a wonderful time!"

“Hey! Did she say yes?" Undyne’s voice came muffled through the door. 

"Yes. The human has agreed to be my date."

"Will you open the door now?" You asked. 

"Sure. Right after you guys kiss."

"Nyeh?!"

"What?!"

"Let's see some smooching!" Undyne howled. 

You sighed and turned toward Papyrus. "Well let's do this I guess-Pap?" He was no longer next to you. 

CRASH!!!

Broken glass flung everywhere as Papyrus jumped out the window. 

"Son of a bitch!!" Undyne swore as she unlocked the door and bolted in. "Did he jump out the window?!" You nodded. "And you were going to kiss him too?!"

"Eh, yeah sure."

Undyne ran to the broken window and yelled after the running skeleton. "You numbskull!! She was going to kiss you!" You avoided the glass and stepped next to Undyne.

"Nyeh...should I come back?" He called. Papyrus was almost halfway across the field. Damn, he was fast. 

"No, because I'm going to beat the marrow out of you for the window!! Stay right there!!" Undyne leapt out the window and charged after Papyrus who was now beating an even hastier retreat than he was before.

Alphys walked up beside you, being careful to avoid stepping on the broken glass. 

"They run really fast," you mentioned offhand. 

"Uh-uh yeah I guess so...wanna help me sweep up the broken glass?"

"Oh sure."

Papyrus and Undyne did not return by the time you and Alphys had swept and removed all the broken glass from the room. You had to admit you felt pretty put out that you hadn't had a chance to kiss Papyrus after all and it definitely looked like you were not going to get a chance to say good bye.

Alphys finished pouring you another glass of tea as you both sat at the table. You both were silent, but it wasn't an awkward silence. Or at least not as awkward as the first time. "So are you going to Frisk's party too?" You asked, absentmindedly rubbing your legs where the bruises once were. You still felt sort of weird but you tried to ignore it.

"Oh! Yes. Uh...I've only worn a bathing suit once or twice so I guess I better find it before then," Alphys admitted. 

"No worries. I haven't worn one in a while either. I just bought one actually."

"That that's lucky, I guess," Alphys said. You nodded. She glanced toward your legs. 

"Uh...your bruises look good."

"Thanks, uh, Papyrus used magic on me," you explained. Alphys looked surprised. 

"Oh oh! He did? Oh! Wait wait. Wait there." She hopped off her chair and quickly darted out of the room. She wasn't gone long. The dinosaur returned with a notebook and a pen. "Tell me what you're feeling right now."

"Uh...good I guess."

She shook her head. "No, no. Sorry, that's not what I meant. Uh, are you feeling any particular emotions you weren't feeling before he cast the magic?"

"Uh...can you be more specific?" You asked. You were feeling a lot of things after you and Papyrus got locked into the bedroom. Not all of them needed to be disclosed unless it was necessary. The effects of Papyrus' touch was rather long lasting judging by the discomfort you still could feel between your thighs. 

Alphys coughed. "Uh magic for monsters is kind of an extension of their being. So when a monster uses magic, the effects of the magic can vary depending on the intent of the monster using the magic." She adjusted her glasses. "Uh, when a monster uses magic against a human, the effects are much more pronounced than if it was used against a monster since humans don't have magic. Do-do you understand?"

"Kinda?"

"Well if a monster wanted to hurt you, you would probably feel pain and upset if you encountered their magic. If a monster wanted to heal you, you would probably feel safe and protected. Uh...." Her face colored slightly. 

"What is it?" You asked curiously. 

"Well this part is just a theory but um it's kinda not appropriate."

"Now I really gotta know," you pressed, leaning toward her. 

"Er....if a monster wanted to show you...uh physical interest using magic, you would uh, also feel...physically interested." You blinked at her in confusion for a moment before realizing what she was trying to say.

"You're saying that if a monster uses magic to try to have sex with me, the effects of that magic will make me want to have sex too?" 

Alphys' eyes bulged and she squeaked. You scratched your head, feeling a weight settle in your stomach at this new information. "Uh, so not really digging the idea that I would only feel like having sex with Papyrus if he cast magic with the intent of having sex with me. Seems kinda brainwashy.”

Alphys colored even darker. "Papyrus?!" she choked. 

"Just trying to make up an example," you asserted. You weren't sure if you were lying or not. 

"Uh...well that's what I thought at first but then I remembered what happened to Frisk when he was Underground. Not all the monsters he encountered were friendly. Some used magic against him with the intention of killing him and taking his soul. But Frisk never retaliated with violence. He always found peaceful ways to solve conflicts." 

Alphys scratched her chin. "But sometimes a monster Frisk would run into would cast some type of healing magic. And because Frisk wanted to be healed, he found that it would heal him more if he touched it when he wanted to be healed than if he didn't want to be healed."

You blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

"Oh man, I'm really not good at explaining this, am I?"

"Or!" You insisted "Or! I'm just really bad at understanding things."

"I have a theory that magic is only as effective against someone if they want it to be effective. If a monster wants you to feel good and you want to feel good, then you will feel REALLY good. If you don't want to feel good, then you won't."

"Ah."

"So how do you feel?"

"I...feel good," you answered.

~~~~~

You had felt a little too good you admitted as you drove home. "Holy crap," you breathed. You could feel your legs still tingling every now and then. You pulled over as your phone dinged again and checked your messages. It was Sans. 

"hey pap said he's going to be home late tonight. undyne has extra training for him." You smirked. It looked like Undyne must have caught Papyrus afterall. You continued to read "got any plans for tonight?"

You fingers floated over your phone's keyboard but stopped before you could decline as you felt your thigh muscles twitch. Papyrus had produced this much of a reaction with just touching your legs. Imagine what it would feel like with Sans who would actually follow through on what Papyrus was unable to give you. You clenched your legs together as a deep rooted heat began to pulse in your womanhood at the possibilities. 

You typed back, "I think you and I should continue what we started in the mall. ;)" You added a winky flirty face. Hopefully you got the message across.

You opened the new message. "well i do have some socks that need fixing." You stared at the message. 

"Haha." You tapped out another message: "I was thinking of something more physically active ;)" You tried again. 

Another message dinged back and you opened it. "welp, paps more the one you want if you want to take a walk."

You facepalmed. Really? You tried one more time. “I was thinking maybe I could get my lips around something other than a corndog.” You hit send and smirked. There! 

Ding! “do you want to get a corncat next time?” 

"Oh fuck this shit," you growled. You tossed your phone to the passenger seat and began to drive only to quickly pull over again. You pulled out your phone and dialed Sans. 

Ring. Ring.Ring. “hey-”

“You smug little shit,” you started in on him. He immediately started laughing. 

“you seem a bit on edge there buddy. you okay?” 

“Do you want to come over tonight?” you blurted out. 

“hmm sure i guess. what’d you have in mind?” he purred nonchalantly. You could hear Sans sipping something through a straw. You smirked. Two could play at that game. 

“Well, I was wondering if we could fuck,” you replied as calmly as possible. 

You could hear him cough and sputter as he choked on his beverage. You smiled sinisterly. It took him a minute to stop coughing and his voice slightly cracked when he finally spoke. “i guess there’s no beating around the bush for you, huh kid?”

“Nope. So are you interested?” you asked slyly. 

His deep voice had fully returned and reverberated through your phone speakers. “oh, i’m more than interested. but i really want to be sure you want to go to the bone zone?” 

You snorted. “The bone zone? Really?” You chuckled. 

“heh. what can i say? it has a good ring to it.”

“Yeah sure. Let’s go to the bone zone.” 

“cool. meet you there.” 

Your eyes bugged. “Wait! Wait! My house is a mess!!”

Click. 

“FUCK!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSYCH!! Did you really think that we were just going to have exposition?! :D
> 
> ...I literally have been chasing Dratinis and Magikarps all around my town...so I'm really tired. Anyone else playing PokemonGo?
> 
> Fanart List! Feel free to add to it! I would love to see you draw!
> 
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)
> 
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
>    
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
>    
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)
> 
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)
> 
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)


	39. The Bone Zone (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for joining us today. So...the title may be giving it away, but in case you haven't picked up on it, this chapter is going to mostly NSFW.
> 
> However! There will also be some plot, so I don't recommend skipping the entire chapter if you're trying to avoid the NSFW. I will of course separate the NSFW and put a sum up at the bottom, but just remember *** = start/end nsfw too.
> 
> On a side note, my husband and I are taking a trip to So Cal to visit some of my family, so the next update won't be until Monday. However!! This chapter is 12 pages long...so that should hold you guys over!
> 
> PokemonGo Quote of the Day:  
> Husband: I caught a gold queen.  
> Me: A goldeen?  
> Husband: ...shut up.
> 
> Onward!

“FUCK!” you yelled, shifting back into gear and gunning the engine. Your house was a mess. There were dishes in the sink. Dirty laundry on the floor. God, your home was embarrassing right now! Sans would be at the very least grossed out. If he was anything like his younger brother, you were in for a heap of trouble.

Your 30 minute drive turned into a 15 minute drive as you finally slammed into a parking spot. You darted up the stairs and let out a big sigh of relief as you didn’t see any sign of Sans. You opened your apartment door, shut it behind you and began to pick up dirty laundry off the floor like a madwoman. You dumped the first load in the laundry basket in your bedroom before darting back into the living room.

“yo,” Sans waved at you from his spot on your couch. You managed to seize another armful of dirty laundry and throw into the basket. You grabbed a dirty dish off the table in front of Sans and almost made it to your sink when you froze. Wait a minute.

You whirled around and your eyes widened at seeing Sans smiling pleasantly from your couch...in your apartment...that you had locked before you left. You let out a shriek and stepped backwards, your foot slipping on your kitchen mat. “Shit!” you squeaked.

You suddenly felt very strange as your descent halted. You looked at your body and saw yourself coated in a familiar blue magic. You quickly looked back towards Sans to see him slowly advancing toward you, smiling smugly.

“already falling for me i see,” he chuckled. You found yourself able to move your hands and you clasped them to your chest dramatically.

“Oh be still my beating heart!” you announced. You felt yourself gently placed on the ground and Sans stood in front of you, his hands back in the pockets of his hoody. “How’d you get in here?”

“i’ve got my ways,” Sans’ eyes glinted mysteriously and you realized that you would not get anymore answers from him on that topic.

“Yeah, that’s not creepy. Do you sneak into other womens’ apartments or am I just the lucky one?” you asked, crossing your arms.

Sans’ smile seemed to widen. “you’re the lucky one i’ve brought an extra burg for,” he offered, gesturing to your table. You peeked around to see two greasy burgers sitting on two plates and looked back at him curiously.

“Huh.”

Sans arched an invisible brow at you. “what? would you rather have fries?”

You shook your head. “It’s just...I wasn’t expecting you to bring dinner for a hook up.”

“ah.” Sans looked slightly uncomfortable at your words and shuffled his slipper feet. “uh, well, i hadn’t eaten yet and thought maybe you’d want something too.”

“Oh hey, no! I appreciate a lot. I’ve just never had anyone bring me dinner before a hook up,” you admitted. Yes, you may have admitted you had been pretty promiscuous with that statement, but it seemed to untense Sans somewhat and he smiled gingerly at you. You looked again at the burgers. “Hey, did you take a bite out of one before I got here?” You asked, pointing to the burgers, one of which already had a bite.

Sans turned his attention back to the burgers and snickered. “huh, who could have done that?” He turned back to you but you had already leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. His laughter immediately died and you were most definitely sure you caught him off guard.

You broke the kiss and leaned back, licking your lips. “Mmm, tastes pretty good. Can’t blame you for taking a bite before I got here.” You walked past him toward the couch. You could feel his sockets taking in your figure as you swayed slightly before flopping yourself as gracefully as a beluga whale onto your couch. “Wanna watch some netflix and chill?” you asked with a wink.

Sans winked back at you and quickly plopped onto the couch next to you. You actually did have Netflix and you booted it up, taking a bite out of the untouched burger. You just got it a week ago and were logging in from your laptop to sync with your television. “what do you want to watch?”

“I dunno,” you admitted, trying to remember your password to log in. “I haven’t actually gotten a chance to watch anything yet.” You glared irritably at your keyboard. “If I can remember my fucking password, that is.”

“hmm. i saw a paper on the fridge with some info.” Sans went to retrieve and brought it back to you. You glanced at the paper.

“Oh, yeah. I remember. Hang on, let me write it in my computer.” You glanced at the paper. “Do you guys have netflix?” Sans shook his head. “Here, take this. You can use it to watch netflix at your place if you want.” You stuck out your arm to hand Sans the paper. Just as you signed in, you felt something wet and rough trail from your wrist up your arm. You moaned at the sensation and looked through half lidded eyes toward Sans.

Sans’ glowing blue tongue dragged up your arm, illuminating your skin with a blue aura. The skeleton looked up at you as he reached the crook of your arm and smirked. He began to trace lazy circles in your antecubital space, making you curl your toes and bite your lip. “Maybe-maybe we should take this to the bedroom,” you gasped as the aura began to travel to your shoulder.

“sure thing.” Sans released your arm and began to stand only for you to pull him down.

“Gah! Wait wait! My room is a pig sty!” you admitted, “give me a few minutes to clean it up-mmph.” Sans pressed you to the couch and pressed his mouth against yours. Your surprise allowed his tongue to push past your lips and begin to sensually massage your tongue. Your eyes closed as you wrapped your arms around his skull and grinded your hips into his, moaning into the kiss. Even with your eyes shut, you could catch flashes of azure dancing over your figure.

The smoldering neediness Papyrus had awakened with you was now a well kept stove top as Sans’ hands began to pull up your shirt.

You suddenly felt a shift in the air and Sans pulled himself off of you. Your eyes opened and you looked around to realize you were in your bedroom. Your messy bedroom. Even in your aroused state, you still felt embarrassed. “I'm sorry about the mess,” you mumbled.

Sans let out a deep baritone chuckle as he straddled you. “kid, if you only saw my bedroom...i've got a trash tornado. and a dirty sock collection in the living room that pap keeps telling me to clean… although speaking of pap…”

The room suddenly felt cold and your skin began to crawl. Sans was still smiling but there was a hollow look to his eyes that unnerved you. If he wasn't on top of you, you would have probably tried to scoot away. “What about Papyrus?” you asked carefully.

“are you and my bro involved?” Sans asked.

“He asked me to be his date for Frisk's party,” you admitted. Sans seemed to relax and his white pupils materialized once more. The room returned to a normal temperature. You studied Sans curiously. “Heyyyy,” you suddenly grinned.

“what?”

You smacked his chest gently. “You're a sweet older brother.” Sans rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Trust me, I'll tell you if Papyrus ever asks me to be his girlfriend,” you truthfully admitted.

“heh. thanks. appreciate that. i know pap likes you but until he actually tries to make you his human then, you're fair game,” he growled, running his phalanges over your breasts.

“All this my human and his human talk,” you moaned as he began to pinch your nipples through your cloth. “Seems a bit possessive doesn't it?”

Sans chuckled again as he began to tug at your shirt. You helped him pull it off, leaving you just in your bra and shorts. He pulled back to admire you and you began to blush. You tried to cover your face but Sans gently peeled your hands away and placed them at your sides.

You both stared at each other, neither of you attempting to make a move toward the other. The removal of your shirt had brought forth the gravity of the situation as well as the memories from the last time you and Sans were in your room. “Sans,” you began.

“we can stop.”

“What?”

Sans lifted himself off of you. “we can stop right now.” You were silent as he continued. “you don’t need to prove anything. i can go away right now if you want.”

You rolled your eyes. “I already told you, it’s alright.”

“i don’t want an alright. i want your consent.” Your chest tightened at the statement and your eyes softened. The skeleton monster placed a hand on your bed. “i want you to want this. i don’t want you saying yes because you feel you don’t got a choice. i am not the monster you saw last time.”

“But you are a monster,” you softly smiled.

“heh….all our joking aside, what i did was wrong. and you may never really forgive me completely for that. nor would i expect you to. i want you to know i care about you and i’m sorry. really sorry. all you have to do is say the word and i’ll go and never bother you again for the rest of your life. just tell me what do you want?”

You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until your lungs were burning and you exhaled shakily. A kinda half laugh half cry poured from your lips. Any sarcastic or biting remark you had armed yourself with broke in that moment of sincerity and now you felt truly naked in front of your friend.

Friend. Yes. He was your friend. He was still your friend. Perhaps he was right and you would never truly forgive him for that night, but that was okay. What mattered was what you wanted right now. This was your decision. And you were the only one who was going to make it.

“I want to go slow,” you whispered, your voice cracking. You coughed. “I only want to be touched where I say it’s okay. I don’t want to be bit and I don’t want to get choked,” you asked, no, demanded as your voice gained strength. “I want to say when we start and when we stop. And when I’m done, we’re done,” you finished resolutely.

Sans’ smile grew as he listened to you. Your chest swelled proudly as you concluded, your face now aglow with determination. “anything else, baby girl?”

You smiled and winked. “I don’t know. I’ll decide when we get there, okay?”

Sans leaned back over you and kissed your forehead. “sounds like a plan. let me take you to the bone zone.”

***

Sans’ fingers rested on at your shoulders and began to finger your sports bra. Man, you really wished you were wearing a more sexy bra...or anything but a sports bra. Then again, you were underneath a skeleton wearing a hoody and basketball shorts. How fancy did you really expect this to go? He looked at you expectantly and you hesitated. “Shit, did you say something?” you asked.

“heh. yeah. was asking if we could take this off,” he pointed to your bra.

You snickered. “That hardly seems fair. You’re still wearing all of your clothes.”

“alright, just don’t go ripping the hoody,” he chided as he removed the outer garment.

“Don’t fucking murder me and we should be fine,” you reminded him. You observed the skeleton curiously. Despite being, well a skeleton, he did appear to fill out the shirt. Maybe he was big boned? Or was it magic? Your eyes lit up at the thought of magic as you remembered Alphys’ talk less than 2 hours ago.

Sans noticed the shift in your thoughts. “what’s on your mind, kid?”

You bit your lip and debated whether to say anything. Eh, fuck it. This was a hook up. “So, uh, I heard a rumor about monster magic,” you began. “I heard that the magic has a different effect depending on the monster’s reason for casting it.” Sans nodded. “Well...now that I’m here, willingly,” you added, “I was wondering if you could try to use some magic on me.”

Sans was quiet and for a moment, you thought you had fucked up requesting magic. “hmm, sure.” You could not help the excited squeal you let out at his agreement. Sans lifted himself off of you and pulled you to a sitting position. “i’m gonna go slow, alright? uh...you’re not a virgin, right?”

You threw your head back and roared with laughter. “Good God, no. Sorry.” You were not sorry. “You are my first monster though.”

Sans hmmed. “okay, uh, alright good to know. however, you’re still a human with no magic so it can be a bit overwhelming if i start with the big stuff first,” he explained.

“Big stuff?” You questioned. “I take it you’re not a virgin?”

Sans shook his head. “i’m not exactly the town bicycle, but i’ve had my share.” He eyed you lustfully. “i’m going to go ahead and start. let me know if it gets to be a bit too much.” He shut his eyes momentarily and when they opened again, a bright blue eye was focused on you.

You felt your breathing immediately stop as memories flooded back from that night you saw that eye. Despite the fact that it was not flashing and glaring at you now, your body unconsciously reacted fearfully. You gritted your teeth. You were going to do this. And it was going to feel good. And Sans said he would stop if you wanted to stop. You are in control. Everything will be okay.

You looked up at Sans to see he hadn’t moved. He appeared to be patiently waiting for you to give him the go ahead. You sucked in some oxygen and nodded.

Skeletal fingers raised up toward you slowly. At first, you didn’t feel anything, but as the seconds grew, you felt what could only be described as invisible caresses against your shoulders. You glanced down and could see the faintest trails of blue dance over your tingling skin. It was pleasant, like someone was petting you.

Sans eyed you carefully and you nodded again. His fingers shifted and the caresses began more rough and adventurous, beginning to slide down your stomach. You could feel almost gently pinches of the skin as the magic, now a deeper shade of blue, continue to trail over your body. Your heart beat loudly in your chest as your breath began to become uneven with arousal.

“ready for the next step?” he asked. You nodded fairly quickly this time around. “alright, relax for this next part,” he advised. His eye flashed again.

Your eyes widened as your chest suddenly felt incredibly heavy. You resisted the urge to panic as you surprisingly relinquished control to your top half. The skeleton’s finger flattened slowly and your body leaned back until you were lying on the bed once more. “Woah.”

“how you feeling?”

“Heavy...but not like crushing,” you admitted, “More like a dog sitting on my chest.” Sans grinned at the analogy

“woof, babe, woof.” He scooted closer to you as his magic kept you pinned. His other hand reached out and tilted your head up, exposing your neck. “i’m not going to bite.”

“G-good boy,” you couldn’t help but stammer as he approached. You let out a choked moan as Sans ran a blue tongue from the middle of your chest to your chin. God. Everywhere that tongue went, your skin felt like it had been electrocuted and you felt yourself convulsing. “A-ah,” you panted.

You could feel Sans pull away and look down at you strangely. “...uh, so this might be a mood breaker,” Sans interrupted as you panted, “but, you taste like a campfire.”

You felt yourself flush with embarrassment and arousal. “Ah, Undyne had me run her obstacle course and a building exploded while I was jumping from it,” you quickly explained.

Sans seemed to accept this explanation. “hmm, okay. just making sure you weren’t getting too hot and bothered.” Your groan turned into a loud moan as Sans’ other hand landed on your stomach.

And you thought the magic alone felt good. Holy shit. You watched as glowing blue fingers dug into your stomach and snuck into your bra, tugging and circling your nipples. Through half lidded eyes you watched in amazement as his other hand remained off of you, still pinning your chest to the bed. The level of control over his own magic was unfathomable.

“Holy shit,” you spoke outloud now. “S-sans!”

“god, it sounds so good when you say my name,” Sans groaned as he pinched your nipples, forcing out another squeak.

Damn, your loins were beginning to ache from the lack of attention and you wiggled your hips pathetically. “Sans, please, take off my shorts,” you asked pitifully. His eye glinted mischievously. You caught the look and frowned. “Don't rip them!”

His baritone chuckle only made you more needy for his touch. His glowing hand advanced and he slid his fingers in beneath your shorts and your underwear. Although his digits were not directly touching your entrance, you couldn’t help but tremble in anticipation of his touch. Sans pressed your shorts down and you finished shimming out of the clothes once they were around your knees.

“heh, i like how nice and wet you’re getting for me,” Sans purred as his fingers trailed your clitoris through your underwear. You had not realized how soaked you were until he pressed the fabric against your entrance. Your face flushed in embarrassment. You felt like a sponge.

“Sorry,” you mumbled under your breath.

“don’t be. haven’t you heard wetter is better?” Sans growled. You squealed as he removed your underwear, exposing your pussy to the cool air. You shivered as his fingers began to trace the outer entrance. “you still with me?”

“Yeah, yeah. I am. God, just uh shit,” You struggled against the magic which was still stimulating and restraining the top portion of your body, “keep going, please.”

Sans hummed. “i think now would be a good time for you to show me your talents.” You felt the magic restraint vanish and you looked at him in confusion. “continue what we started in the mall?” he suggested.

Oh. OH! You sat up quickly and got to your knees. You reached for the waist band of his pants and hesitated. “Uh...do you have uh...equipment?” You questioned.

Sans raised a socket at you. “you mean a dick?”

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t see a bulge at the moment, is it like a turtle where it kinda pops out when it’s ready to go?” You asked. Sans stared at you for a moment before throwing his head back and laughing.

“kid, aw man. i really am your first monster heh.” He motioned you toward him and you pulled down the band of his pants hesitantly. You stared in surprise as what you could only describe as a blue penis stood to attention in front of your face. It was clearly magical as the colors of the appendage glowed and swirled. It seemed to materialize from the pubic symphysis which still remained skeletal in shape. You tentatively reached out and brushed the tip with your fingers, eliciting a hiss from your sexual partner.

Your eyes lit up at the sound and you began to stroke the shaft, confidence growing every time you descended to the base. Pre cum began to form at the tip and you thumb the head of his penis, sending the pre crum dripping down the sides. Sans’ groans were getting louder and more animalistic.

“babe, please, can you-ughh!” Sans’ voice broke as you took his head into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around the tip and began to stroke the underside of his penis as you descended. Your demonstration at the mall did reveal your inability to deep throat and therefore, you were unable to fit his entire member comfortably in your mouth but he hardly seemed to mind. You could feel his hand curl up in the back of your hair yet he did not force you further on his shaft, allowing you to bob up and down at your own pace.

You glanced up as you worked and felt your chest swell in lustful pride as you spotted beads of sweat forming on his skull. His body was trembling and his eyes were half lidded with arousal. You noted with some curiosity that the hand that was glowing was beginning to move again and you wondered briefly the cause until he flexed his fingers.

You nearly screamed against the magic ecto-dick as you felt invisible fingers descend into your hole and press against your inner walls. You realized with lewd excitement that the motions of his fingers corresponded with the penetrations of your rapidly slickening vaginal entrance and you wiggled and thrusted into the spectral stimulation needfully.

His cock begin to twitch as you massaged the head with your tongue but before you could descend once more, you found Sans pushing you off his piece and onto your back. The magical presence vanished from below and you let out a pitiful cry at the emptiness of your sensitive entrance...until you found his head resting against it.

Sans eyed you carefully, his chest heaving with constrained lust as he greedily took in your sweating, panting body. “lori, are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“you sure?”

“Just fuck me already!” You demanded. Sans licked his teeth and slowly pressed the head in. “Ah-ah!” You squealed, “Hot!” A sudden intense feeling of heat seized your chest and robbed you momentarily of oxygen.

“shit, sorry baby, hang on,” Sans apologized. He concentrated and you felt the heat simmer to a comfortable warmth. Your chest relaxed. “got a bit too excited there. you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright. What was that?” You breathed.

“hah ah huh,” Sans panted, “let's just say be you should be glad I'm not a virgin.”

“That explains nothi-ahh fuck yes!” Your words died into a lusty moan as Sans pressed himself fully into you.

He remained still as you adjusted yourself around your length. Holy shit. You could feel it pulsing inside your trembling walls, filling you snugly. You hadn’t been filled in a long time due to a long dry spell and now it was absolutely pouring. You felt yourself relax finally as the initial discomfort faded away. “Ah-ah, okay, alright. I’m good,” you breathed. He moved slightly and immediately electricity slammed your cervix. “Fuck, fuck, I lied. Wait,” you gasped.

Sans stroked your head comfortingly. “that’s alright. don’t worry. i can wait.”

Finally. Finally you nodded and he began to thrust slowly. The electricity was still there but not nearly as severe as the first time. Or maybe you were just used to it? Either way, it was starting to feel good. With each thrust, you felt Sans slightly angle his shaft. Although it felt good, you couldn’t quite figure out what he was doing...until he pressed against your G spot.

“Ah! Sans!” You moaned as his magic head pressed against your own magic button. Sans’ eyes glinted in satisfaction and continue to thrust against it. You were shamelessly moaning and drooling in moments. You tried to move your arms but that blue magic was back and all you could do was curl your fingers around the sheets of your bed, trying to gain a perch on anything right now as your mind began to numb.

“damn baby. those noises you’re making,” Sans growled, his pace quickening. “i don’t know how much longer i’m going to be able to go.” Your thoughts exactly. You could already feel that delightful pressure building up in your abdomen that was begging to be undone.

The normally lax and nonchalance of Sans had been replaced by a sweating, shuddering monster. He was groaning under his breath as he continued to plunge into you in a way that told you that he needed this escape, this release, as much as you did. You thrust your hips up to meet his, forcing out another groan as he bucked into you faster.

“Sans, I’m close!” You gasped. Sans nodded as his motions became more erratic. Any moment now, your body threatened to give up. You were so close. Just a bit more.

A particularly savage thrust was all it took and the dam in your body broke immediately. Your mind reeled and you began to scream as your body shook and convulsed. Your screams became muffled as Sans ferociously pressed himself against your lips, tasting you as he released his seed into you. You rode out your orgasm as you could feel the member twitch and pulse in your overstimulated sex, your scream only beginning to quiet down as your throat became hoarse.

Finally, you both became still. Sans pulled away and let out a small smile at what you assumed was easily the most dazed look you ever had on your face. He pulled out his penis and you watched through hazy eyes as the appendage evaporated from existence. You twisted as you felt his cum likewise fade, leaving your sore cunt only filled with your own slick juices. It took you a few minutes to sit up. Your legs felt numb and your body lax at the intensity of your orgasm.

***

“Holy fucking shit,” you finally managed, running your hands through your sweaty hair.

Sans’ breathing was beginning to even out and his smile increased. “i take it you liked it?”

“That was amazing,” you exhaled.

“hang on,” Sans spoke, “i’ll be right back.” You felt the bed shift as the skeleton stood up from the bed and slowly walked to your living room. You couldn’t contemplate why he was leaving but you really couldn’t put much thought into anything at the moment. You felt the bed sink again and you blinked in surprise as there was something floating in front of your face.

It was your burger. “Oh, hah, thanks,” you thanked and you took the burger from Sans’ outstretched hand. You sat up and began to eat the cold but still pretty good burger. Sans sat across from you, chewing on his contently although you never saw him open his mouth to take a bite. “So..” you began, after a minute, “What now?”

“i dunno,” Sans admitted, “i guess we could get some pizza if you’re still hungry.”

“What? No, uh, I’m good with the burger. I mean the sex. If we’re going to do this, uh do you want to make this a regular thing or on an as needed basis?” You asked. Sans was quiet and you felt yourself getting slightly embarrassed. “Uh, I mean, if you want to do this again, that is. If you didn’t enjoy it then, you don’t have to,” You explained.

Sans looked at you like you were nuts. “kid are you crazy? of course i want to do this again. damn, i may not talk much during sex, but your body feels really good against mine,” he chuckled.

“Oh whew. Okay, good. Uh, so?”

Sans tapped his chin. “let’s do it on an as needed basis. i’m sure you’re used to being on call as a nurse,” Sans teased.

“Tech, but yeah, alright that works for me. My schedule isn’t always regular,” you agreed.

You settled into a calm lull as your mind began to return to you. There was something nagging at the back of your mind. Something you wanted to ask Sans. “hey babe,” his voice broke your thoughts and you looked over at him. “i got a favor to ask.”

“Go for it.”

Sans looked uncomfortable. “will you let me know if you and another monster decide to have sex?”

You looked at him for a moment before bursting into a snort and then laughing. “Oh my god! What?! Why? Are you jealous?” You teased.

Sans scoffed. “i don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Get hurt?” You giggled. Sans looked serious. You sobered up at those words. “Sans, is this a joke? Cause it’s not funny.”

Sans shook his head. “it’s not supposed to be funny.”

You stared at him. “Explain.”

“if you are going to have intercourse make sure they have experience,” Sans advised. You blinked.

“You’re telling me not to fuck a virgin?” You asked incredulously.

“basically.”

“That’s fucked up,” You criticized. “Listen, everyone starts at level one with these things. Nobody is good immediately. So a couple of lousy sex attempts are to be expected.”

Sans held up a hand. “i’m not saying it would be lousy. i’m saying it would be dangerous.”

You stared at him now. “Are you saying virgins are dangerous?”

“yes. that’s exactly what i’m saying.” The skeleton groaned. “listen, when monsters have sex, their magic is constantly present. we can’t turn it off...it’s part of who we are. this is even more the case when it’s an emotionally fueled lovemaking and not just a hook up. it especially likes to flare up at those times, so we gotta make sure we keep it under control.” Sans sighed. “the problem is when you got a monster who’s a virgin or has very little experience.”

A pit formed in your stomach at these words. “Okay...what’s the problem?” You prompted.

“well everything is pretty new to a monster virgin. sure, they may read books or watch television, but nothing really can prepare them for the actual sex, especially when it comes to their own magic. they won’t understand how to control or limit their magic at first. it takes a lot of trial and error before they know how to set limits and boundaries for their magic to prevent it from acting up during sex, especially if it’s for someone they have deep feelings for.”

You didn’t like where this was going. Correction. You REALLY did not like where this was going. “What happens if they can’t control their magic?” you asked.

Sans nodded at your question. “a lot of things. they get too excited or nervous and their magic picks up on that and they accidentally start casting magic on their partner.”

“But Alphys said magic’s effect is based on intent!” You protested. “So the magic would feel good...right?”

Sans chuckled. “yeah. but you ever hear about too much of a good thing? it’s one thing to use magic to brush away hair out of your eyes,” he demonstrated, extending a hand, allowing the invisible feeling of a hand push a strand of hair off of your face, “it’s another to accidentally arouse your partner to an unbearable state of lust and then fuck them so relentlessly that they pass out. hell, even just some heavy petting can set it off.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but you couldn’t even begin to come up with an appropriate way to respond to that. Remembering what had happened when Sans had first entered you sent a shiver down your spine. Despite the minor flare up only lasting for a few seconds, it was far too intense for your liking. You couldn’t even fathom an entire lovemaking session having to undergo that sensation.

And that heavy petting comment? You shook your head. Well, that would explain what happened with Papyrus. Even though he hadn’t really touched any erogenous zones, you remembered feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the sensation of it all. Hell, even after you left, you had still felt the effects of his touch. If Papyrus hadn’t pulled away…you shuddered as Sans continued.

“sure, if their first time is with a monster, it’s not so bad. their partner’s magic seems to be able to sense the disturbance and helps protect its user from the majority of the effects. but if you’re a human...well you don’t have that protection, sweetheart.” He coughed and looked away. “after they get their magic under control, it would be safe for you to get intimate with them.”

You bit your lip at this information. “Are you sure that this happens every time? I mean, like, what if a monster doesn’t have much experience but he’s really determined and he practices with magic every day and…”

Sans held up a hand and you clammed up. “sorry babe. but it’s a done deal. it happens to every monster. you do not want to be a monster’s first,” His sockets focused on you, “even if he does call himself the great papyrus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our first actual sexy time! And it's with the skeleton we are not dating...although that warning at the last bit kind of soured things at the end, huh?
> 
> Reactions? Requests for future sexy times scenarios (I can only think of so much)? Predictions? (Just because I'm going to So Cal, does not mean I won't be checking my phone so SPAM those comments and tell me if you think I'm doing this right because I have no f*cking clue if I am!)
> 
> Sum up: Sans and you engage in consensual love making and you learn how magic can be both a good and bad thing. Also I don't own Netflix.
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
> 
> 
>   
>   
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
>   
>   
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)


	40. Pictures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience and comments last chapter! Husband and I made it back late last night and I finished writing up this next chapter which I hope you shall enjoy!

You woke up with a groan to the sound of your phone dinging with the arrival of a new message. You rolled over with the grace of a one legged Chihuahua and managed to fall right off your bed. “Fuck!” You cried as you crashed to the floor. Your hand darted out of the covers and seized your phone. You opened the message and winced as the bright light of your phone glared at you. 

“Good morning human! I hope you are well!” You blinked groggily as you stared at the text. You looked at the time. It was 4:10AM.

“Who the fuck sends people texts this early in the morning?” You grumbled. You looked at the sender. “Papyrus,” you growled. Ugh! Did that skeleton not understand the concept of time and sleeping hours? You were too fucking tired for this and debated just silencing the phone but stopped. Well if he was going to wreck your morning, you could certainly wreck his. You hit the dial button and listened to the phone ring. 

“Oh hello Lori!” Papyrus greeted cheerfully as he picked up the phone, “How is your-?” You moaned as sensually and lewdly as you possibly could into the receiver. His voice became strangled in his throat. “L-lori?”

“Papyrus,” you moaned, drawling out the “us” sound in his name. You heard him stutter, a loud clatter and the line disconnected. You smugly climbed back into your bed and reburied yourself in the covers. “Four AM” you thought that this was a great idea and you drifted off to sleep once more.

~~~~~

“Seven AM” you realized what you had done and you quickly flailed out of bed. You spotted your phone and seized it anxiously. “Stupid. Stupid. I'm so fucking stupid,” you swore, dialing Papyrus. You tapped the floor impatiently as the line rang.

“Hello?” Papyrus answered hesitantly. 

“Papyrus! Hey it's me, Lori!”

“Oh. Hi Lori,” his voice was somewhat restrained from his regular exuberance. 

“Hey, listen, uh, I'm super sorry about earlier. I wasn't totally awake and was just confused and sleepy.” You technically were telling the truth. Even though you knew exactly what you were doing, you had been very sleepy. 

“Oh, that's good. Uh, may I talk to you later?”

Your gut twisted. Oh shit. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything is fine, but uh, my rope is about to break and I need to use both hands to hang on to the wall.” You smacked your forehead. 

“Oh my God! Don't answer your phone on the obstacle course! Hang up! Hang up!”

“Ugh, I'm going to have to drop the call. Do not tell Sans I said that,” Papyrus grunted. There was silence. And then a female voice boomed. 

“HEY PUNK!!”

“Undyne? What happened? Is Papyrus okay?” you asked worriedly. 

“Oh yeah, yeah. He's alright. He dropped the phone to me is all.” You scrunched your face in confusion until you realized why he was upset earlier. He dropped the call...and literally dropped the call to Undyne. Sans would probably be very proud actually. 

“Ah. Well that's good. Uh how's things with you? Sorry I blew up your obstacle course.”

Undyne laughed. “Ya kidding? That was awesome. I'm making the course way harder now. Bigger walls, sharper weapons, hotter fires! It's going to kick ass! You should come up and try it again the next time you're here.”

“Ah, maybe another time,” you winced. 

“Hey Pap, is it cool if I play with your phone?” Undyne yelled. 

“Sure! Tell the human I made it to the top!” His voice sounded really far away. How high was this new wall?

“Hey your boyfriend made it up the wall,” Undyne chuckled. 

“Good to know.” You didn't bother to correct her. It was a losing battle. 

“Oh hey, there's a draft message he meant to send to you this morning that's stuck in his outbox. You guys talked at 4am?”

You sweated guiltily. “He woke me up. Yeah. Uh, a message?”

“Hang on, I’ll hit resend. Don't worry. I didn’t read it. If there’s one thing I know about letters, is that they should only be opened by the intended recipient,” Undyne lectured you. “Alright message sent. Looks like there’s an attachment too. I'll let you go. I gotta throw my guards some more rope. Later.”

The phone disconnected and you scrolled to your messages. Sure enough you had a picture message. You opened up and stared at it. And stared. “Uh...I don’t know what I’m looking at?” you murmured. The picture was kinda blurry yet you could still distinguish the majority of it. It looked like Papyrus had taken a selfie and tried to send it shortly after your phone call this morning. One of his pupils was orange. He looked nervous.

You couldn’t remember initially why he sent you the picture until you recalled your conversation yesterday afternoon about him sending photos of himself when his magic acted up unbidden. Hmm. Your little stupid stunt this morning was enough to trigger something alright. Surprise? Arousal? Embarrassment? Your eyes caught the flicker of something else at the bottom of the picture and you squinted to look at it. 

“What the hell is that?” you muttered, holding the phone close to you. There was something glowing near his chest. It was orange as well. “It’s not a dick,” you acknowledged. Papyrus didn’t seem the type to send a dick pic...even if he had genitalia. Of course you now knew a bit more about skeleton genitalia thanks to last night. You let out a happy relaxed sigh at the memory and looked at the photo again. 

“Is that a heart?” It looked like an orange heart. You were almost sure that it was a heart but the shaky camera shot could not allow you to confirm it. “Huh. Weird.” You slumped out of bed and proceeded to get dressed for work.

~~~~~

Two days until the party, you reminded yourself as you pulled into your hospital parking lot. You kinda felt giddy. You hadn't been to a kids’ party since, well, when you were a kid. But man you seemed to enjoy those parties more than other type of parties...then again you didn't go to many parties now either. And you were going as Papyrus’ date. His...date.

You couldn’t help but allow Sans’ words from last night to echo back in your head. You were going to see Papyrus. As his date. You certainly weren’t planning on having sex with him that day. But what if that date turned into another and another and then another? And you guys became a couple! And then maybe one day you guys would decide to take things to the next level, past kisses and cuddles and he’d be above you and then...you would get hurt, according to Sans.

Unless Papyrus had relations with someone else. Another monster. Would you be okay with that? Would he be okay with that? Would it be considered cheating if it was for your own safety? “Stupid, you are way overthinking this,” you criticized yourself. You really were. As you placed your stuff in your locker in the employee room, you started to laugh. “Nobody said anything about there being more dates after this one. This is just one date. For all you know, maybe Pap will realize he likes monsters more...especially if Mettaton is there,” you reasoned with a wince. 

Now that you thought about it…you couldn’t think of any monster human couples that had come forward. Would an interspecies relationship be too much for people to accept? Again…you were overthinking things. Shelving these thoughts for later, you walked toward the technician area. Your ears perked up at the sounds of an excited commotion. You pushed open the door and saw your fellow techs gathered around Tim and his phone. “Hey what’s going on?” you asked.

“Dude!!!” Tim exclaimed, holding up his phone, “have you seen that new paranormal investigator show?”

“Uh...I don't have cable so probably not. Why? What is it about?”

“It's this dude named Aaron. But he's not a dude. He's a mermaid horse monster dude and he goes to people's houses and finds ghosts!!!” Mermaid horse monster dude?

Oh. Oh yeah. “Ohhh! I remember that dude. I met him at Grillby’s. He was talking about having a show? How is it?”

“He’s so hot!” A female tech squealed. 

“Yeah. The dude makes me want to work out so bad. I've never see anyone supplex a piano to shake out a ghostly pianist!” Tim gushed. You started laughing. Guess the real show was Aaron after all. 

“Okay. I'll have to catch that at some point.” you smiled. Tim looked at you strangely. “What?” You asked. 

“You look relaxed,” he observed. 

You shrugged. “I always look like this.” 

Tim shook his head. “No, nah. You look really relaxed.” You bit your lip as he leaned in closer. There was no way he could know. He looked deep into your eyes and broke into a humongous grin. “OH MY GOD!” 

Fuck! “Tim, don’t.”

“YOU DID IT!” 

“TIM! SHUT UP!” You warned him. 

“YOU WENT TO THE BONE ZONE!!” He squealed, already booking it far from you.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, TIM!!!!” You hollered, tossing a clipboard at him. He ducked, so you scooped up Tommy the cat and lobbed him too. Gently. The fat cat landed on the ducked technician with a thud and proceeded to make biscuits on his back.

“FUCK! WHY ARE HIS NAILS ARE SO SHARP!?” Tim shrieked. 

“BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU!” You hollered back, picking up your fallen clipboard so you could smash it over the trapped technician’s head. 

“HEY!” Everyone froze. Cheri had stomped in, hands on her hips. “We can hear you out there!” She hollered, pointing toward the waiting room. Everyone looked at each other guiltily and shuffled their feet awkwardly. Cheri nodded approvingly and walked back towards the front.

You gently extricated Tommy who had tried to fall asleep on Tim (again, Tommy was a rather lazy fuck of a cat) and helped the technician up. “Sorry about that, you piece of shit,” you apologized. 

“Seriously? You threw Tommy at me, you crazy bitch,” he pointed. He coughed. “But yeah, er, sorry about yelling that you boned Papyrus,” he admitted. 

You shifted your eyes. “Uh, I didn’t bone Papyrus…” Tim’s eyes widened.

“You didn’t-!”

“OH! And for everyone’s information!” Everyone turned to see Cheri had returned. “If anyone is going to be talking about boning anyone, that Aaron monster is first on my list. He’s got a rack of abs you can wash your laundry on. Especially the dirty laundry.” The looks of horror and disgust that encompassed everyone’s faces did little to dissuade Cheri who happily sauntered back up to the front. 

“Jesus Christ,” another technician mumbled, “Can we please get back to work?”

~~~~~

“Alright everyone! Take a break! You’ve done well so far!” Undyne hollered. It was getting close to noon and lunch was definitely on a few monsters’ minds. The Captain of the guards dropped the steel anchor she had been casually carrying around with her and sauntered into the house. 

“Hi Undyne!” Alphys greeted, waving at her girlfriend. 

“Hey Alphys! Man that smells good. What are you guys making?” Undyne asked, walking over to her girlfriend and Frisk in the kitchen. 

“F-frisk is making ramen,” Alphys explained. “Uh...should be ready in 3 minutes?” Frisk nodded and stirred the pot of boiling needles quickly.

Undyne grinned and tried to reach for the stove top. “I bet we could have it done in a minute and a half if I turn up the heat.” 

“N-no!” Alphys scolded, gently slapping her outstretched hand. Undyne shot her a fanged smile and Alphys blushed. “We’ll call you guys when it’s ready.” 

Undyne nodded. “Cool, I guess I’ll go see what’s up with Pap. He’s been acting really weird.”

“He likes Lori,” Frisk giggled.

Undyne chuckled. “Oh I knew that. He's just acting more jumpy than he normally does when he's nervous.” Undyne took her leave after giving Alphys a discreet butt squeeze that elicited a startled stutter from her.

Papyrus wasn't too hard to find. He was shoveling dirt onto a flaming boulder that Undyne had utilized for training purposes today. “Hey Pap! How's it going?”

“Oh, it is going well...sorta. I guess I'm really nervous about the Royal family coming back to stay this week,” Papyrus answered, dumping another load of sand onto the boulder. 

Undyne raised her eyebrow at Pap. The Royal family had come plenty of times. This wasn't unusual. 

“Oh. I can see how it would be stressful,” Undyne played along. Papyrus nodded and continued shoveling sand on the apparently very durable fire. “Sooo, nothing related to the human?”

Papyrus stiffened and then laughed. “Nyeh heh heh! Why that is just silly. Why would the Great Papyrus be worried about seeing the human? I have seen the human plenty of times.”

“You ever see her in a bathing suit?” Undyne asked slyly. 

“Nyeh?” Papyrus froze. “B-bathing suit? Er, are these separate clothes for human baths?” 

Undyne shook her head. “Oh, no no. They’re clothes used for swimming. But they cover a lot less than regular clothes.” Undyne leaned in closer. “A LOT less.” Papyrus gripped the shovel tightly but remained tactfully silent. Undyne nudged him. “Hell, maybe you can ask her for a picture after training. Seems only fair since you sent a picture this morning.”

Papyrus tilted his head at her. “Picture? What picture? I did not send the human a picture.”

Undyne sighed. “Well no, it was stuck in your outbox. I saw it while she and I were talking so I went ahead and resent it to her since she hadn’t seen it...uh, are you okay?” Papyrus had gone completely white which was impressive since he was a skeleton. Undyne waved a hand in front of his skull. “Yo, Pap! Hey!” 

Snap! Undyne blinked in surprise as Papyrus snapped the shovel in two. The action seemed to startle the skeleton out of whatever trance he was in, only for his face to devolve into pure panic. “I’ve got to go!” he announced, running off. 

“Papyrus! What was in the picture?” Undyne hollered after him. But the skeleton was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurrah! The plot progresses! Uh, brain still dead from trip so...uh, husband refers to Koffing as the Farting Purple Cloud. Yeah, I got nothing. :D
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)


	41. Mini Chapter: Always Delete Your Drafts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Pap Mini Chapter (and a bonus POV)!
> 
> Not as long as the rest of the chapters so far, but trust me it's a fun one!

Papyrus slapped his skull as he drove. Why didn't he delete that photo? Why did he let Undyne play with his phone? He was so glad she was being helpful but this was the wrong kind of helpful! 

He spotted a red light and resisted the instinct to accelerate, instead downshifting as he remembered your instructions. He smacked his head as just remembering your puzzle instructions reminded him of this morning. 

~~~~~

He was just about to leave his room when his phone rang. He pulled it out of his chest plate and smiled broadly as the words “Second Base” flashed on the screen. He answered cheerfully. “Hello, how is your morn-?” The sound he was greeted with made him stop in his tracks. He felt an electric shock shoot up his spine and he went completely still. It was this noise. You were making that noise. It was you, right? “L-lori?” he questioned.

“Papyrus…” Hearing you moan his name set every bone in his body on fire. Any attempt at the English language was immediately stricken and he took a step back in shock. His boot collided with an uneven bump in his rug and he unceremoniously plopped back down on his bed. He thumbed the end call button and sat there staring at his phone, trying to register what just happened. His head was burning...his head?

He flipped on his phone’s camera and studied his reflection. His right pupil glowed orange again, his left one was gone. His magic was up. “Ah,” he observed, trying to steady himself. “I said I would take a picture for the human when this happened.” He attempted to remain still and snapped the shot. He had already hit the send button on his phone when he finally focused on the photo. His sockets widened

“Wait! Wait Wait!” he fumbled with his phone and in the nick of time, managed to cancel sending. He stared in horror at the photo before looking down at his own chest, a strong orange glow threatening to bleed out from underneath his breastplate. It was his soul. His soul was in the picture. “Sa-!” Papyrus began but stopped himself quickly. He didn’t want his brother to worry and besides he doubted that Sans would have even heard him. Sans slept like a log. 

Papyrus furrowed his brow and looked back down at his soul. “Why is it orange?” he asked. His soul was never orange. Monsters souls were always white, right? At least as far as he knew they were. And why could he see it now? Papyrus knew that the soul could appear during battle...but you had not engaged him in battle. You didn’t even use your pink stick over the phone. All you did was say his name...he could just imagine how your lips looked when you said it. 

The burning returned and he looked at alarm at his chest. His soul was almost aflame with heat, glowing even brighter than before. He looked around. “Does it feel warm?” he whispered to himself. He slowly extended his fingers toward the fiery heart but paused. He had never touched his own soul before. Somehow the thought of touching his own essence seemed strangely forbidden. He had no one to ask these questions. The thought of asking Sans unnerved him. He thought of possibly asking you but the thought of doing that made his chest blaze even more. 

Papyrus couldn’t deal with this now and began to will himself to think of something or someone else. He thought of how Undyne would deal with this type of problem. Undyne. He glanced at the time. The orange soul immediately flickered out. He was still somewhat sore from the extra training Undyne had made him undergo last night for breaking the window. Being late to training this morning would exacerbate the situation moreso as Undyne had been especially grumpy last night for having her “special time with Alphys” interrupted by the extra training. 

He shot one more look at the photo that remained in his outbox and sighed in relief. As much as he may or may not like you, he felt there was something invasive about texting you a picture of his soul, especially if you did not ask for one. Papyrus did not know how many monsters you had met prior to him, but it was generally frowned upon to send pictures of your soul to someone. He did not want to damage your perception of monsters. He had no doubt that humans certainly did not send any pictures of their own private parts to each other and he really didn’t want you thinking that monsters did. 

But he had not sent the picture, so everything was fine.

~~~~~

Everything was not fine. The blare of a horn brought him back to reality and he realized he idled too long at a green light. He was entering the city now and he had to be more careful of how he drove. He tried dialing you again. This might have been the 7th time he tried and everytime it rang until it went to voicemail. 

~~~~~

Jeremy opened the door to his car in the hospital parking lot and sat down in the driver’s seat, sticking his legs out the window. He quickly turned on his phone’s bluetooth and started to prep the song playlist he had made for you the other day. This so preoccupied his thoughts that he didn’t notice the old fashioned convertible pull up next to him until something heavy collided with his ankle. “OW!”

“Oh! I am terribly sorry human! Are you alright?” Jeremy’s eyes bulged at the familiar loud voice and he looked up to see that skeleton monster staring down at him. 

“Holy shit, uh, Papyrus? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Uh, how are you?” he asked hesitantly. 

Papyrus grinned. “I am good.” His face fell slightly, “Well, actually not that good. I really need to talk to Lori. Is she in there?” he asked, pointing to the hospital. 

“Yeah,” Jeremy responded honestly, "I was kinda waiting for her actually." 

Papyrus shook Jeremy’s hand enthusiastically. “Thank you! You stay here and keep an eye out! I will be back soon to talk to you!”

Jeremy watched him go. “Huh. Sure man.” Realization slowly dawned on him. “Wait! Hang on, I’ll gah!” Jeremy attempted to spring after him but his legs had fallen asleep due to his sitting position and he soon found himself prostrated on the ground instead.

Pam lit up as Papyrus marched in and approached her. “Why hello sweetheart!” she greeted enthusiastically. 

“Hello nice human,” Papyrus greeted back, “Is Lori here today?” 

“She suuuurrreee is. Why don’t you head on back there and go get her?” Papyrus nodded and walked back in the direction of the technician area. His chest clenched apprehensively as he walked down the hallway.

You must have been furious. Why else would you not be answering your phone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short, I know, but bear with me. And look, we had another special visitor waiting for us outside the hospital.
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)


	42. Answer the Phone!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally, finally have a Sunday off!!! What better way to use it than to post a chapter! :D
> 
> We have two new fanarts!! :D
> 
> The first one is from inhalesboi and it's a picture of Lori! You can see their awesome drawing here: [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)
> 
> The second one is from Zully and it's a BW and colored pic of Lori! You can see her drawings here: [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)
> 
> They shall be added to the list of awesome people who draw awesome things in the End notes which I hope will continue to grow!
> 
> Back to our reader's POV.

Ring. Ring. Ring. 

You cursed silently to yourself as your phone continued to ring in your scrub’s front shirt pocket. “Dude, just answer the phone,” Tim grumbled as it continued to ring. 

“No, I want to take this shot first,” you countered, “Plus it’s a pain in the ass to take off all the PPE.” You indeed were wearing all of the lead personal protection equipment (or PPE) as you worked with your hospital’s x-ray machine. You had already gotten your thyroid collar on and adjusted your lead gown just right so it didn’t slip down your shoulders. Hell, you even were wearing the lead gloves properly as you finished setting up the machine. 

The phone rang again. “Whoever it is will just keep calling,” Tim suggested as he brought over the feline patient the doctor had wanted you to x-ray. 

“I’ve got 10 minutes until lunch break,” you argued. “Besides it’s not my parents. They know to call the hospital if they don’t get ahold of me after the first few times.” Someone was dialing you over and over again. It must have rang at least 8 times at this point. “Plus. The cat is being really good,” you realized as you and Tim put the surprisingly mild mannered cat into right lateral recumbency.

“Also, who knows what amount of radiation I’ll expose my phone to if I take it out now?” You mentioned as your foot slightly depressed the dead man pedal to the x-ray machine. To your luck, the kitty you were attempting to take a right lateral abdomen shot of remained very complacent and you were able to quickly snap the shot once the rotors had warmed up 

“That apron is pretty old. You don’t think it’s still getting exposed?” You huffed as you adjusted your lead apron and thyroid collar and slid out of your gloves

“It should be totally safe unless you go sticking it in the primary beam like a dingus. But I guess if the apron is no longer effective, then my ovaries have been cooked a long time ago,” you laughed humorlessly. 

“Huh. Good point.” Tim whistled. There was some uneasy silence between all the technicians. “Uh, I really do hope we’re not all sterile. I wanted like 6 kids.”

“Six?!” You exclaimed. “Jesus, is there a discount if you buy 5, get the 6th one free or something?” Your phone rang again. You ignored it. 

“Will you even be able to have kids?” Tim asked. 

“Huh?” 

“Can monsters reproduce with humans?”

“What type of question is that?” You narrowed your eyes. 

“Ooh better question. Can monsters give STDs to humans?” You stopped narrowing your eyes. Fuck! You never had sex without a condom! What were you thinking? “You used protection, right?” You began to whistle. “Oh come on!!”

“Lori, dear you have a visitor,” you heard Cheri call from the front. Thank goodness, you were saved.

You sighed and finished up the x-rays. “Good a time as any to go to lunch,” you realized.

“Maybe it’s whoever has been calling you so much,” Tim suggested. 

“You might be correct, actually. I better go check.” You thought about taking off the heavy protection equipment but decided against it and just opted to walk up in your full gear. You pulled out your lipstick from your cupboard and reapplied it before entering the receptionist area. “Hey, who’s coming to visit me?” you called out as you entered the front of the hospital. Your eyes widened, “Jeremy?” 

“Hello gorge-woah!!” Jeremy gaped as you walked out, sweaty and stocky. “You look like Iron Man in that! What is that?” he asked, stepping forward and poking you in gut.

“Personal Protection Equipment,” you chuckled, “Helps protect my organs from radiation when I take x-rays.” 

“Too bad, I was a big fan of She Hulk,” he snapped his fingers. “Hey! So I was in the neighborhood and was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch?” he asked.

“You’re in luck, I just got on my lunch break. Hang on, let me go back and take this stuff off,” You waved. 

Jeremy clapped his hands together. “Cool, cool. I’ll be in my car. Just come on out when you’re done. I have been craving nachos.” 

“Oh! Wait! Wait! Were you the one calling me just now?” You asked before your date could leave. 

Jeremy shook his head. “Nah, but I was trying to get ahold of you yesterday but you never picked up. You must have been doing something really fun if you couldn’t answer me.”

“Haha, you could say that,” You laughed, quickly turning around so he did not spot the blush forming on your cheeks, “I’ll meet you at your car!” You started to walk back towards the technician area as Jeremy walked back out the front door.

“Psst! Lori!” You paused as you spotted Pam. She was waving a familiar lavender piece of paper.

“Hey, not now Pam, I got to go to get my stuff for Jeremy.”

“No! No! It’s really important! Hang on! You’re too fast for my old legs!” You shrugged but stopped in the hallway to allow the elderly receptionist to catch up. “I’m supposed to read you the second part of the letter!” 

You blinked in surprise. “How do you know I got a date with Papyrus?”

“Your dating coach called this morning and asked for the well styled human who could read his handwriting,” Pam bragged, fanning herself with the paper. 

Did monsters not know the definition of privacy? Or boundaries? Actually, considering they were trapped behind a barrier for who knows how long, you’re sure that most monsters would be more than happy to break a few boundaries. “Are you going to read it to me?” 

“Yes, dear. Come closer.”

~~~~~

That was probably one of the odder pieces of advice you had received, you contemplated as you walked back to the technician area. “Hey, so was it your date calling you?” Tim asked. 

“No, it wasn’t, although he’s here now to take me to lunch.”

“Pretty convenient…although a tad creepy that he knows when your lunch is,” Tim pointed out.

You ignored him as you fished out your phone from under your apron. ‘Seriously, though. If it wasn’t Jeremy, who the fuck kept calling me?” You unlocked your phone. “12 missed calls, from-.”

“Human!” Your head snapped up at the familiar voice and looked over to its source. 

“Papyrus?” You asked, turning to see the skeleton in the technician area. You glanced back at the phone and then at him. He looked rather distraught. “Is everything alright?” You asked worriedly. 

Your direct question seemed to throw him off because he hesitated. Instead of answering, he pointed curiously to your protection equipment, “That’s some very sturdy armor you are wearing. What is it made out of?” Papyrus asked, stepping forward.

You looked back at the other techs who simply shrugged. “Uh...lead?”

“It even covers your neck?” Papyrus asked, touching the material. 

“Oh, uh, yeah, it’s thinner lead. This part comes off. It’s a thyroid collar,” you chuckled, slipping back into your professional demeanor. You removed the collar and handed it to his outstretched hand and he studied it. “It helps protect me from radiation. Uh, that’s basically an energy source that lets us see what’s inside animals without surgery,” you stoically responded. You took the collar from Papyrus. “Excuse me one moment.” You took both pieces of protection equipment and put them away before returning to the skeleton who was starting to remember why he had come. “So, is everyone alright?” you asked carefully. 

Papyrus nodded. “Oh, everyone is fine. Uh, may I talk to you somewhere else? Please.” He asked politely. 

“Sure, the employee room is over here.” And with that, you lead him back to the empty employee room. You closed the door after him and watched as he calmly observed the new surroundings for a few moments. “So what did you want to tell me?”

Papyrus blinked in surprise at your question. “Oh, nyeh. Yes. Well, oh shoot. Let me start over.” He took a deep breath, regained his nerve and then spoke as calmly as he could. “I AM SO SORRY!!!!” Papyrus practically yelled.

“Uh, wait what?” 

“I did not mean for you to see that picture,” he began, pacing back and forth in front of you. 

“You mean your selfie?” You scratched your head. “Now that you mention it, I meant to ask you what um, this was,” you pulled out your phone and pointed to his chest in the photo. You looked at it closely. “It’s like an egg or a glowing heart or...”

“It’s my soul.” 

“Or a soul.” You blinked. “Your soul?”

Papyrus sighed and rubbed his chest. “Yes. My soul. It’s the very essence of my being,” Papyrus admitted. “Everyone has them.”

“I uh, yeah probably,” you dismissed that info and stepped closer to Papyrus. “How was I able to see your soul?” You asked, staring eagerly at his chest, “I have never seen a soul before. Are they all orange?” 

Papyrus didn’t register your eagerness and continued, somewhat still embarrassed, “Ah, as far as I know, normally a soul only comes out during a battle...and they’re usually white,” he explained. 

“Maybe your magic made it change color?” you suggested, closing the distance between you two. 

Papyrus sighed. “I don’t really know. I’ve never actually handled my soul in a non battle situation-uhh, Lori?” Papyrus blinked as he looked down at you. You were rubbing his chest. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to make your soul come out,” you huffed, rubbing the center of his armor. 

Papyrus stood there completely stumped at your reaction before regaining his composure. “Ahem,” he interrupted plucking your hands off his armor, “Souls are supposed to be personal,” he tried to emphasize, “you’re not supposed to show them to just anybody.”

“Oh,” you felt yourself blush, “ah, sorry. Got it. Don’t do that.” You shuffled your feet awkwardly. “Uh, so...was that it?”

Papyrus’ sockets widened. “That’s it?” He huffed. “This is a big deal.” 

You sighed. “You accidentally sent me the monster equivalent of dick pic. I get it.” 

“Dick pic? What do you mean?” Papyrus blanched, “I’m not familiar with this term.” 

You paled. “Fuck, uh maybe you should ask Sans...actually on second thought, do NOT ask Sans.” You hesitated. “Sometimes human males like to send pictures of their dicks to girls they're interested in to see if it makes the girl like them back?”

“Does it work?”

“No.”

“Then why do they do it?”

“Males are dumb...er present company excluded.” Papyrus smiled at the compliment.

“Okay…what’s a dick?” He asked. Huh. Well that just confirmed Papyrus’ virginity. 

“It's a body part that males use to get more intimate with people they like.” You felt your face color. That was the mildest explanation of sex you had ever given. 

Papyrus processed this information. “Now when you say, more intimate, what do you mean?”

Nope. You were not answering that. Here. Now. In your work. Nope. “I'm not explaining what that is,” you resolutely stated You walked out the door, quickly followed by the monster.

“Wait! Why not?” Papyrus whined. 

“Just search online and I'm sure it will tell you,” you mumbled quietly as you entered the workplace. 

“You’re saying that I can go to the Internet to see how dicks make people closer?” Papyrus asked loudly, in front of all your coworkers...and Jeremy. 

You turned bright red and turned around to face your sincere companion. You could hear someone behind you whisper “the fuck?”

“Lori, what the hell?” Jeremy laughed.

“Jeremy, I’ll meet you in the car okay?” You groaned, grabbing Papyrus and heading back into the employee room. 

“Uh, alright, I’ll see you there,” Jeremy watched you drag the skeleton away.

Papyrus huffed and crossed his arms as you shut the door after him. “Human, I have asked you to be honest with me, and I’m sorry to say but I’m finding your answers somewhat evasive,” he grumbled. You had to end this conversation now. The amount of damage control you would have to do after this was rising by the second.

“Papyrus…Can we talk about this later?” you groaned running a hand through your hair. You were feeling very nervous now and you could feel your face still beet red. 

The skeleton’s arms remained crossed. “Why can we not talk now?” He glanced back at the closed door and his sockets narrowed. “Are you going out on a date with Jeremy?” His sockets shifted. “Is this the special third date? Why was I not informed?”

“No, it’s not just, wait, no. I’ll explain everything to you in when we’re in private, okay?” You attempted irritably. Papyrus’ stubbornness was starting to wear thin and you were running out of options on how to end this conversation other than yelling at him. 

The skeleton stiffened at your bristled response. “Do you have intense and passionate feelings for Jeremy?” he asked. There was an unusual edge to his voice. Fuck it. You had only one option left. You stopped running your hand through your hair and took a ginormous breath before letting out a shaky sigh. Papyrus immediately noticed the difference and watched you, concerned. “Human, is everything alright? You seem nervous and twitchy,” he hesitantly mentioned. The edge vanished.

You laughed dryly. “No, I’m fine. Fine. Just, I can’t believe I’m about to do this.” You walked toward him. 

“Do what?” You didn’t answer. Papyrus became nervous and stepped backwards. “Are you mad at me? I’m very sorry if I’ve upset you.” He took another step back only for his spine to hit the closed door. “Nyeh, you wouldn’t be thinking about doing a violence? If you don’t want to go on a date with me, you don’t have to." 

You reached forward and grabbed his scarf before he could blink. He squeaked as you yanked him down to your level and watched his surprise through half lidded eyes. “I do want to go on a date with you...and I wouldn’t exactly call this a violence. More like a preview,” you responded cooly. Before he could question it, you crashed your own lips against his teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ending on a cliffhanger, sorry, but it's not a bad one, promise! :D
> 
> (And yes, I did purposely omit the advice that Pam passed on. It will be revealed next chapter)
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)


	43. Friendly Competition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another chapter! 
> 
> Another fanart has been drawn and this time it is of Sans and Lori but I do not have the link yet! When I do, I shall post it at the beginning of the Chapter notes! But a big thanks to stardust-the-autobot from the drawing I shall soon share!
> 
> WE HIT 20,000 HITS?! HOLY SHIT! Seriously, I never anticipated this. Ever. Never. Ever. Never....er ever? I'm confused. Uh, but either way, you guys are awesome and I'm glad you're enjoying this story so far!

10 minutes earlier...

Pam cleared her throat as she read. “Congratulations on securing your next date with the Great Papyrus. No doubt my expertise directly resulted in such a feat. But I digress. Your next step is as not easy as the first one.” Pam paused. 

“Why are you stopping? Is there nothing else written?” you questioned.

“It says to pause for dramatic effect for a total of 2 seconds.” You waited two seconds. Pam continued. “You must now utilize your sexual energy to charm him.” 

“What?”

“Touch Papyrus,” Pam continued. 

You snorted. “Yeah, that’s not a problem. I touch people all the time.” And yes, you truly meant that. There was absolutely no boundaries when it came to working with animals. You once had your face resting on another tech’s butt while another tech was crouched between your legs trying to do a nail trim on a large bloodhound. 

“This is a different type of touching that you need to do.” You raised an eyebrow. “You must master the art of a discreet touch. To touch without letting your subject knowing that you are purposely touching them.” 

“Huh. Ninja touching,” you clicked your tongue. 

“In addition to whatever horrid nickname that you most definitely gave this style of seduction, you may be forced to perform direct physical actions on Papyrus as needed to quickly gain his attention or prevent him from doing something stupid.” You snickered. “Use these direct actions only as needed so as not to diminish their power. Happy Hunting!” Pam looked up at you expectantly. “Did you understand that or would you like me to repeat it?”

~~~~~

Oh you most certainly understood, as you stood there with your lips pressing against Papyrus for a few more seconds before releasing the skeleton. You watched in barely disguised wonder as Papyrus slumped against the door and shook unsteadily for a few moments. You must have kisses of Kryptonite. Either that or you caught him mid breath and he was trying to recover from the lack of oxygen. And in that case, hey skeletons need air to breathe!

Finally, he stood himself back up and shook his head slowly before looking up at you. His face was flushed orange and he had the goofiest grin you had ever seen. “Wowie,” he breathed. You couldn’t help but blush yourself. That was easily the most flattering compliment you got after a kiss. And it was a pretty good kiss, even if you did catch him off guard.

You leaned in and stifled a giggle as you realized that you had planted a lipstick stained kiss on his face. Papyrus was shaking himself out his daze and watched you in surprise as you gently wiped his face with a towel. You met his eye sockets and laughed awkwardly. “Uh heh. I kinda marked you with my lipstick there,” you admitted. 

“Marked me?” he asked. You chuckled and showed him the towel to reveal the pink lipstick. He blinked in surprise and felt his own face. There was a slight pink smudge on his glove as he pulled it away. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that,” you apologized. 

Papyrus grinned, having recovered rather quickly, “There is no need to be sorry. We are now on a level battlefield.” 

Now it was your turn to be surprised. “Level battlefield? I uh, don’t understand.” 

Papyrus laughed. “Frisk told me that because I kissed you first, you would have to kiss me back so we would be equally prepared for the next date.” Your stumped expression prompted a sneaky grin from the skeleton and he elbowed you gently. “Ah, you seem surprised that I know this. Well you are not the only one who has the assistance of a dating master. Between Frisk and my dating book, I will soon have learned all the techniques and skills to become a master of seduction and romantic wooings.”

“Oh, I got it.” You didn’t get it. 

The monster puffed out his chest proudly. “Be prepared human! I shall be more than ready to make our next date the best date you have ever had. Why, you won’t even remember any other date, even our first date...except, it would be really nice if you could remember our first date actually because that was a lot of fun,” he admitted shyly, twiddling his thumbs together. 

The burst of shyness made you regain your confidence. “Alright, well let’s see what you got because I also have the dating mastery of Mettaton behind me. And I will be the one to make our next date so amazing that you’ll forget anyone else you ever dated.” Ooh. You were getting into it now. 

Papyrus crossed his arms. “I highly doubt it for I have dated Frisk and the human is such a master of dating that even if I tried to forget him, I could not!” he proudly stated.

Alright this was getting confusing again. You probably needed to stop. Instead you escalated the situation and got up close to him again. “You better bring your A-game Friday because I’m going to take you down!” 

“Nyeh, to where?”

“What?”

“Where will you take me down?” Papyrus cocked his head at you. 

“Uh...It’s a surprise!” You snapped back and Papyrus looked immediately intrigued. 

“I love surprises!!” 

“But, for now, I have to go. You can text me, uh but no more visiting me until the party, please. And especially don’t come back in the tech area alone.” You already had enough explaining and damage control you would have to go do after you came back from your lunch break with Jeremy. Shit, Jeremy!

Papyrus seemed to realize it too because his grin faltered. “Ah yes, you have to meet with your other date now.” 

“Er yeah, sorry, I told him I would before you came here,” you answered honestly.

Papyrus waved away your protestations. “Human, do not feel bad for the Great Papyrus. You should always keep your previous arrangements. Besides…” He leaned in quickly toward you until he was only a few inches away from your ear. “I know you like me very much!” he whispered as best as he could whisper into your ear. 

You couldn’t help but gasp as your hair stood on end and he pulled away triumphantly. He almost looked smug. You tried to form words but found yourself unable. “Good bye human! I shall see you soon!” he saluted and darted out the door. You teetered on your feet for a moment before taking a less than graceful seat. You needed a few moments. 

After about 5 minutes, you felt confident enough to get up and walk back out into the tech area. Tim caught your eye as you walked back and made a motion to say something. "Don't you fucking say anything until I get back," you warned, sliding a finger against your throat threateningly. The male tech took the hint and resumed his earlier business. You walked out into the lobby and spotted Papyrus and Jeremy talking outside. You pushed open the door and greeted both guys loudly. 

“Hey guys!” You greeted happily, stepping outside. You took a double take at Jeremy. “Jesus, Jer Bear, you looked like you saw a ghost," you observed seeing your date somewhat pale in the sunlight. 

“Nope! Just a skeleton!” Papyrus announced. He paused. “Eh, but if you do see a ghost, will you please tell us? There’s still one on the loose from Grilby’s that Aaron hasn’t managed to catch yet.” You rolled your eyes as Jeremy nodded. 

“Sure thing..uh, let’s get going, yeah?”

“Oh shit. You’re right. Bye Papyrus! See you Friday!” You waved, hopping into Jeremy’s car. Papyrus enthusiastically waved back as your date pulled out of the parking lot and drove away. 

~~~~~

You couldn’t help but be overly eager as you hopped up and down in your booth. “Oh man! We’re getting milkshakes!” you squealed. 

Jeremy smiled. “Well we don’t have enough time to really eat but we can get a milkshake. This place is pretty good at making milkshakes.”

You felt yourself relax into the booth seat. “A milkshake...that's probably the most normal use of milk I've seen in a while,” you joked, remembering that you had to yet again, buy more milk. 

Jeremy chuckled. “Well hopefully a milkshake will be the start to the rest of a nice and normal day for you.” 

“Normal doesn't exist for me anymore,” you joked, “I kinda miss it.”

“I hear ya.” He looked passed you and smiled. “Here comes our waitress.” 

An overly busty waitress sauntered up to your table and gave Jeremy a huge wink. “Hi sweetheart, what can I get for you?” she asked. 

“Can I get a vanilla milkshake?” He asked with a smile. She nodded and jotted down his order before starting to walk away. 

“Ooh! Wait! Wait! I want something!” You piped up. She eyed you, slightly annoyed. “Chocolate milkshake, please?” She wrote it down and left. “Sheesh. If that's normalcy, I changed my mind” you mumbled, “who pissed in her cornflakes?” 

Jeremy watched her walk away and chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t think she eats cornflakes. More like drinks asparagus water and eats a gluten free veggie bar for breakfast.” 

“Maybe she is sad that is not having a milkshake too?” you chuckled. You kept forgetting that Jeremy was extremely hot while you were exceptionally not or at least not at the moment. He already had turned more than a few heads when you both walked in, to put it politely. You were practically invisible in your scrubs next to this man. Perhaps you could use your newfound invisibility to commit an act of vandalism or steal a pancake from the kitchen!

“So what’s going on Friday?” Jeremy asked. Damn. No pancakes today!

“Huh?” You asked, playing with a straw someone left on the table. Jeremy shrugged. 

“You have another hang out planned?” he asked nonchalantly. 

“Ah ha, ah.” You scratched your head. “Actually, he asked me as a date for a beach party.” 

“Beach party?” Jeremy winked at you. “I knew there was an ulterior motive to you calling me about buying a bathing suit. You’re a bit of a two timer,” he chided. 

You stuck out your tongue. “Dude, actually I wasn’t invited until the next day.” That was a bit coincidental now that you thought about it. Almost as if the cosmos wanted you to run into Papyrus that day. That was a bit too spooky to think about. The waitress returned with a vanilla milkshake and plopped it down in front of Jeremy with a lingering hand on his shoulder. You couldn’t help but notice the discreet touch. Dammit, Mettaton. Now you were going to be hyperaware of every act of flirting.

“Here you go, sweetie. Nice and cold just for you,” she cooed. 

“Thanks, beautiful!” Jeremy nodded. She flashed him a big smile and began to walk away. 

“Uh hey! My milkshake is coming right?” You asked. Okay, you were used to being ignored but this was borderline ridiculous. 

The waitress feigned sadness. “Oh golly, I must have forgotten it.” Bitch. You gritted your teeth and looked to Jeremy but he said nothing. You thought about sitting there to sulk until an idea struck you and you smiled. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it, beautiful,” you cooed back, grabbing another straw from the table. “I’m sure Jer Bear wouldn’t mind sharing with me?” You shot him a coy look and allowed your fingers to gently brush the palm of his hand while your foot gently tapped his ankle. 

The result was subtle and immediately noticeable to both you and the waitress. Jeremy’s eyes were instantly on you and he pushed the shake toward the middle of the table. “Let’s swap spit already,” he purred, yanking your hand closer. You watched triumphantly as the waitress scowled and quickly walked away. 

You eyed the milkshake eagerly. “Ooh! Wait. You don’t have any STDs right?” you asked before you took a sip. 

Jeremy brightened considerably. “Right now? Lori, I’m not an exhibitionist here but maybe in a few hours...”

“No, fuck I mean. You don’t have cold sores right?” You asked, gesturing to the drink. “I don’t want to catch them if you do.” 

“Ohhhh. Right. I keep forgetting your mom's a doctor. Heh. No. I’m clean. And circumcised if it matters,” he added as you began to suck on the straw.

You choked. “Fucker,” you coughed, “why you gotta tell me that when I’m sucking up a bunch of white stuff?”

“Because it is hysterical and I was really hoping to see if it would shoot out your nose.” The conversation very quickly degraded into jokes about milk, milk shaking and who could drink the most faster. Jeremy won that last bit, must to his chagrin he learned as you immediately proceeded to ask if he had practice. Despite his overdramatic protestations, you told him you would support him anyway and you were there for him. 

“Hardy har har,” he finally muttered as the waitress dropped off the check. Your milkshake never came. He picked it up and his smirk dropped. 

“What?” you asked, leaning forward. You read the check and winced. There was a note on it with a telephone number. “Call me if you want to go out with a real woman, Love Tiffany?” You read aloud. You huffed. “Man, what a bitch. Tip her only 15%.” 

Jeremy growled. “You’re worried about tipping the whore? Who the fuck does she think she is? I’m clearly with you.”

“Eh,” you began, “Yeah, you didn’t exactly say anything when she was ignoring me and not bringing me my drink..and flirting with you and stuff.”

Jeremy shot you a dirty look. “Doesn’t matter, she should know better. I’m going to go give that cunt a piece of my mind and tell her to stay away from other girls’ boyfriends.” 

Your eyes shot open. “Dude, no. No no no!” you pulled him back down before he could walk after her. “Just let’s pay the damn bill and let’s get out of here.” 

“Oh no, I got this,” he dropped some money and shoved the receipt in his pocket. You had to be getting back to work anyway. You and Jeremy walked out the door and popped into the car. As he backed up, you heard shouting and turned to see Tiffany screaming at you both. 

“Hey assholes!!! Fuck you!” she screeched.

You ducked down and stared at Jeremy who was grinning manically. “Dude, what the fuck did you do?” 

“I tipped her only 2%.” 

“Ooh, that is diabolical,” you admitted glancing at the angry waitress, “I thought you were going to do something far worse-why are you rolling down the window?” you asked panicked. 

“Hey sweetcheeks! You’re a huge bitch!” he hollered out the window before peeling out of the parking lot. You buried your hands and began to laugh. 

“You’re a fucking nut dude, but oh man, she was so mad.” 

Jeremy relaxed and smiled charmingly at you. “Well I hope it makes her think twice before she gives out her phone number again like that. Not every guy is as nice as me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what Jeremy and Papyrus were talking about while they were waiting outside for us? ;)
> 
> Again, thank you again for the 20,000 hits. Seriously, that blew my mind. 
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)


	44. Mini Chapter: A "Friendly" Competition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another mini chapter, so if you don't want to read, feel free to skip! This one is a bit longer and it is very dialogue heavy but I actually like how this chapter came out, especially since this one was a joint effort from my husband and me. 
> 
> We has new fanart! This one is from the Boshie Toshie and I have a link directly to the picture on their tumblr! It is slightly NSFW, but nothing raunchy so go check it out!! ;) [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)
> 
> (On a side note: Although last chapter was a bit on the weak, you guys certainly got really chatty and humorously destructive in the comments section. So if you've been avoiding the comments section up to this point, go ahead and go back last chapter to check it out. I laughed way too hard at a lot of your comments.)
> 
> On to the mini chapter!

Jeremy rested his head against his steering wheel as he waited outside the hospital doors for you to come out for what was now going to be a short lunch break. This day had not gone according to plan in the slightest. What was supposed to be a fun impromptu lunch date had turned into a bit of a muddled mess due to an unanticipated interruption from the skeleton monster. Who started yelling about penises in front of you and all your coworkers’. Which he had to admit was the funniest shit he had seen all day. 

At the very least, it looked like you were super pissed at the monster and dragged him off to yell at him. At least that’s what he hopes you were doing. You guys had been gone a while. His thoughts turned lewd for a second but he dismissed them quickly. There was no way you would even consider doing anything inappropriate at work. Although you had your fair share of fights in high school, Jeremy knew that you were actually a better than average student when it came to following rules and regulations. 

He was about to get out of the car and check on you again when the front door of the hospital opened and Papyrus strode out confidently. He seemed to be posing dramatically until the hospital door shut. Only once the door shut did Papyrus’ demeanor relax and then devolve into nervousness. Jeremey wasn’t exactly sure but he could have sworn that the skeleton wiped some sweat from his brow. How did skeletons even sweat?

The human male rolled down the window. “Hey buddy, you okay?” The skeleton quickly straightened out upon hearing his voice and waved enthusiastically. 

“Hello human friend! Yes, I am fine. Just very excited. Definitely not nervous about anything.” Jeremy raised an eyebrow. 

“I didn’t think a seven foot tall Monster could be nervous about anything,” Jeremy admitted. 

Papyrus grinned. “Ah, human you flatter me with your compliment, but I’m afraid I do not reciprocate your affections. We could still be friends.” 

Jeremy waved his hands. “Woah woah. No. No homo. I like women!” he insisted. 

Papyrus nodded. “See! We have so much in common. I not only like women, I like everyone I meet!” Papyrus cheerfully exclaimed. “Although, I do admit, I do find myself liking Lori a lot more than other humans I’ve met.” Jeremy stiffened at the last statement but relaxed as Papyrus observed him. 

Jeremy laughed but there wasn’t much humor. “Oh yeah, she’s pretty cool. I like her too. A lot.” He emphasized. Papyrus remained blissfully unaware. 

“And that’s another thing we have in common. We both like Lori.” Papyrus nodded. In the back of his skull, he thought he remembered reading something bad about when two people like the same person in his dating manual but he couldn’t exactly remember what. It couldn’t be too bad as Jeremy was still smiling at him. He was even walking up to him, perhaps to exchange a handshake of friendship?

Jeremy did not offer a handshake but instead crossed his arms. “Yeah, I guess we both like Lori huh?” Papyrus felt slightly uneasy.

“Ehm, that’s good, right?”

“Oh yeah, yeah. Totally.” Jeremy nodded enthusiastically and Papyrus relaxed, “She’s very likable. But the real question is, which one of us does she like more?” Papyrus hummed at the statement.

“I guess that is a question that is real. Oh well, I know she will tell us when she is ready,” Papyrus innocently acknowledged. 

Jeremy flashed him a sneaky grin. “Or...you know there’s a way we can help her decide faster.” 

Papyrus cocked his head at him in confusion. “I’m afraid I don’t understand your meaning.” Jeremy’s grin seemed to grow even wider at the admission. He peeked over the skeleton’s shoulder and appeared to spot you as you walked up to the door from inside the hospital. 

“Tell you what, why don’t you and I meet up at Joe’s Sports Grill down the street say about 3pm? I’ll you all about it.” 

“Oh absolutely. I would love to hang out.” Papyrus cheered. Jeremy stepped back and motioned to his mouth. 

“Cool, cool. Hey you got something pink on your uh teeth or something?” he mentioned. 

“Oh! That must be Lori’s lipstick,” Papyrus admitted, wiping the remaining stain off. 

“What?!” Jeremy’s smiled vanished. 

“Hey guys!” You greeted happily, stepping outside, “Jesus, Jer Bear, you looked like you saw a ghost.” You exclaimed, looking at Jeremy curiously. 

“Nope! Just a skeleton!” Papyrus reassured you. He paused. “Eh, but if you do see a ghost, will you please tell us? There’s still one on the loose from Grilby’s that Aaaron hasn’t managed to catch yet.” You rolled your eyes as Jeremy nodded. 

“Sure thing..uh, let’s get going, yeah?”

“Oh shit. You’re right. Bye Papyrus! See you Friday!” You waved, hopping into Jeremy’s car. Papyrus enthusiastically waved back. Today was turning out to be an exciting day alright! 

~~~~~

Papyrus sat patiently at the bar. He had gotten there early and was alternating between thumbing through his dating book and trying to figure out exactly what was on the television. “Excuse me barkeep human,” he finally asked. The place wasn’t particularly full so the bartender strode over. 

“What’ll it be bud? You want what’s on tap?” 

Papyrus shook his head. “No, no, I don’t need tap water. I’m still drinking my ginger ale thank you. What are you watching on the television?” The bartender glanced upwards at the television as he cleaned his glass. 

“Oh. That’s baseball.”

“I see, I see. How do you play it?” 

“Uh, well there’s two teams and they play against each other and they take turns. One team hits or bats the ball and the other team tries to catch the ball or touch the person who batted the ball three times in order to switch sides.”

“Hmm, and they just keep doing this until they are tired?” 

The bartender shook his head. “Nah. They only do the switching nine times. When a team is batting, they have the opportunity to score points if they can get on a base.”

Papyrus’ interest was further piqued. “Did you say base?” 

The bartender nodded and pointed to the white shapes in the dirt. “Yeah, uh, those are called bases. There’s first, second, third and home. In order to score points, a player has to touch all the bases and reach home.” Papyrus scratched his head in confusion.

“That’s second base?” he asked, pointing to the screen. “Are you sure?” 

“Uh yeah…why?” 

Papyrus hummed thoughtfully. “Well a friend of mine said that I reached second base with a human but I definitely don’t remember touching one of those. Unless she was wearing one under her clothes.”

The bartender stared at him astounded. “Uhhh, are you joking?” Papyrus shook his head. “Well, I guess I’ll tell you. Second base is when you and a girl-”

“Hey Papyrus! Glad you could make it!” Papyrus swiveled in his seat and spotted Jeremy walking toward him. 

“Hello human friend! How was your date?” 

“Good. It went really great. We shared a milkshake,” Jeremy smiled, sitting down next to Papyrus. “Hey, get me what’s on tap please,” he asked. The bartender nodded and left to go fill a mug. 

Papyrus winced at the good news and scolded himself. He should be happy for his friend. “So what were you saying earlier about how to help Lori?” 

Jeremy leaned against the bar and smiled. “Yeah, so listen you and I both know she won’t keep dating both of us forever.” Papyrus blanched. 

“Er, but I have enjoyed dates with her. Why would she stop?” 

Jeremy chuckled. “Well, she’ll stop because at the rate this is all going, she’s going to like one of us better and she’s going to choose him to be a boyfriend.” The bartender dropped off a dark brown beer. 

“Oh!” Papyrus gasped, “I-i see. Oh, that is a very good reason. Why would you want to make her choose faster?” he asked. Jeremy looked at him in astonishment as Papyrus eyed his beer curiously.

“Well when she chooses a boyfriend, she’ll only date her boyfriend. Nobody else,” Jeremy explained patiently, “Do you understand what I’m saying now?”

“Almost. Hold on one moment, friend.” Before Jeremy could stop him, Papyrus plucked the beer away from Jeremy and proceeded to pour it down the drain behind the bar counter. 

Jeremy gaped. “What the hell are you doing?” 

Papyrus gestured to the glass as he finished pouring out. “Most water is not brown! There must be something wrong with the pipes supplying the tap water!” He spotted the bartender who was watching with a bemused expression. “Oh hello human! Will you bring my friend another glass of tap water? The one you brought had some contamination in it.” The bartender took the empty glass and left an elated Papyrus and a steamed Jeremy. 

“I didn’t get to even take a sip!” Jeremy hissed. 

Papyrus patted him on the back. “Of course you didn’t. You might have gotten sick from drinking that. I wouldn’t want any harm to come to you and I’m sure Lori especially would not want you to get sick!” 

“That was a beer!” Jeremy tried not to yell. 

Papyrus looked stunned. “Why are they serving beer here?”

“Because this is a sports bar!” 

His sockets widened. “This is a bar?!” 

Jeremy slapped himself in the face. “You cannot be this fucking stupid!” 

“Of course not. The Great Papyrus is very cunning and intelligent!” 

“I want to be Lori’s boyfriend!” Jeremy interrupted loudly. 

Papyrus stopped midspeech. “I’m sorry?” 

Jeremy calmed down. “Yeah, I don’t like sharing. I want her to date only me. I know she likes me a lot.” Papyrus hesitated. Jeremy sighed and gestured toward the Monster. “And I know she really likes you too.”

Papyrus scratched the back of his head as the bartender brought Jeremy another drink. “I believe so. She and I have kissed.” 

“Don’t say that.”

“Twice.”

“Ughhh.” Jeremy shook himself. “No man, I should be really happy for you. Good for you. But listen I want what’s best for Lori, right? I want her to be happy, don’t you?” 

“Of course!” Papyrus asserted. 

Jeremy smiled strangely. “Then let’s have a competition, you and me. Trying to prove who would be the better boyfriend.” 

The skeleton tapped his chin. “I guess that makes sense. What does the winner get?”

“Lori.” 

Now Papyrus looked uneasy. “Nyeh heh heh,” he laughed weakly, “I don’t know about this. Shouldn’t we ask her first for permission to use her as a prize?” 

“What? No man. This is the bro code. We men should keep it to ourselves.” Jeremy could tell Papyrus needed more convincing. “Hey, didn’t you take my advice earlier? Look what that got you? Another date!” 

Papyrus wrung his hands. “Uh...I suppose you are right. In a roundabout way, your advice did work. Although my dating handbook actually discouraged using this tactic unless you were absolutely confident that they liked you back.”

Jeremy looked at him curiously. “Dating handbook?” 

Papyrus nodded and pulled out his book from under his breast plate. He handed it to the human who thumbed through it languidly, pausing a moment at the words "Property of Snowdin Librarby" printed proudly on the inside cover. “Oh yes! This book has been written by dating experts!” Papyrus proudly exclaimed. 

“Press C to open dating hub?” Jeremy read aloud, “I don’t get it.” 

Papyrus hummed. “Well tell you what, since I have an actual dating coach now, I’ll let you borrow my book.” 

“Uh, thanks I guess?” Jeremy took the book from the skeleton and placed it on the table. He returned his attention to Papyrus and smiled slyly. “Listen, book or no book, I want you to trust me on this one too. This is going to make her so happy. Don’t you want her to be happy?” 

Papyrus nodded, “Yes, I really do.” 

“Alright bro, well I’ll see you on Friday.” 

“Friday? But Friday is my date with Lori,” he protested. 

Jeremy shrugged. “Alright man, but I didn’t peg you for a cheater.” 

Papyrus was flabbergasted. “A cheater?! The Great Papyrus never cheats!!” he declared angrily. 

“Uh huh. Well you got to kiss Lori on my date today. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem fair to do that and say I can’t at least try to make her happy too.” 

“I suppose you’re right again, I’m sorry. But it’s a party and I haven’t been told I can invite more than one person,” Papyrus apologized.

Jeremy waved his hands. “No worries. I’ll just hang around for a little bit. I won’t crash the party or anything.” Papyrus nodded gratefully. 

“Well I best be off. It was nice seeing you again,” Papyrus held out a hand and shook Jeremy’s outstretched one with a smile. 

“Hey!” Jeremy called, lifting up his drink. “May the best man win!” 

“Or Monster!” Papyrus chirped before leaving the bar.

Jeremy smirked. “That was a bit too easy huh?” He took a swig of his drink and spit it out immediately. “What the fuck is this?” 

“Tap water,” the bartender quipped. “You owe me 8 bucks for the beer, by the way.”

“But I didn’t drink it!” 

“Don’t care,” the bartender grunted. “You’re also going to pay up because you’re kind of a prick.” 

Jeremy grumbled, “I thought bartenders weren’t supposed to have opinions,” as he handed over the money.

“Common misconception. Have a good day, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a favorite part on this one? Or do you hate someone even more now?
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)


	45. Difficulty Sleeping Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey! This chapter is one of those NSFW ones. You know the ones. 
> 
> Remember, just look for the *** for starting and stopping the sexy times. SFW summary will be in the End Notes as always! 
> 
> Sorry this chapter is a bit on the shorter side. I have been smacked up and down at work. I even got my scrubs ripped in two today. It was not a good last few days but it's okay! I got this chapter out!

“Hello Sans, how are you doing?” Sans smiled at the familiar voice on the other end of the line. 

“i’m doing good.” 

“And your brother, how’s he doing? Are Frisk and he behaving?”

“oh yeah. frisk and pap are in the other room doing some form of battle strategies or something.” He laid back on his bed and placed a hand behind his skull. “how are you?”

“I’ve been better, I’ll admit. I’m sorry to call you so late. I hope I am not keeping you up.”

“heh. no worries. sleep comes naturally to me, i can do it with my eyes closed if i want.” There was some silence at the other end and then a good natured melodious laugh. 

“Oh, I better be quiet, I don’t want to wake up you know who.”

Sans smirked. “you guys finally sharing a bed?”

“Hahaha no, he’s on the couch.”

“sofa, so good.” 

There was snickering again. “You’re being awful, Sans, I really must keep my voice down. Our return flight leaves at 7:00am. We should be by around 5:00pm to pick up Frisk.” There was some silence between the two friends before she spoke again. “I’m very grateful you were able to take him on such short notice. That bomb scare last Saturday just worried me too much. Even though they found out it was a dud in the morning, I just can’t risk anything happening to my child.” 

Sans smiled gently. “whelp i can’t take all the credit. undyne and alphys had the kid the first two nights before he stayed with us.” 

“Still, I am grateful you were able to come get him. I know you used a lot of magic to do it. Hopefully your brother hasn’t been pushing you too hard to be productive.”

Sans snickered. “actually he hasn’t pushed me so much lately. he’s been dating someone.”

“Oh that’s lovely. What is she like?” 

“she’s pretty cute. short. human. works at the vet clinic where undyne has started establishing the guard dog health records at. your kid has been dating advice to pap. i’m sure you’ll see her soon if those two have their way.” 

“I’d believe it. He’s a shameless little flirt,” she chuckled. “She sounds very sweet. I would love to meet her.” There was a yawn on the other end. “I guess I better go get some rest. I’m driving us all to the airport tomorrow since RG1 and RG2 don’t know how to drive and if I let King Fluffy Buns here drive, it will take us forever.” 

Sans yawned as well. “heh i guess you’re right.”

“Oh before I go! What would you call a sleeping bull?”

“hmm, i dunno. what?” 

“A bulldozer.” 

Sans chuckled genuinely. “that’s a good one. i’ve got a couple for you when i see you.”

“I can hardly wait. Good night, Sans!” 

“good night...tori.”

Sans disconnected the phone and let out a shaky sigh before attempting to lull himself to sleep. He couldn’t do it.

So he pulled out his phone and texted you. 

~~~~~  
***  
The phone buzzing jostled you from a semi deep sleep on the couch and you blindly felt around for the cellular device. It was a message. You yawned and opened it, barely reading it's contents. 

”hey. i can't sleep. can i come over?” You yawned again. 

“Sure.” You typed back. You went to flop back down on the couch only to find yourself flopping onto your bed. Had you slept walked? How did you get to your bed so fast?

The answer came gradually as you felt something pull down your underwear and you reached down. You felt a familiar fuzzy jacket and you sat up to confirm it. 

It was Sans alright. He was in the process of lining up a fluorescent blue penis with your vaginal entrance. You coughed. “Uh. Hi there.”

“hey kid,” Sans greeted. 

You watched as he teased the tip against your lips. “I'm all for rough riding it, but uh, I think some foreplay might help,” you offered. 

Sans didn't verbally respond but he seemed to understand as he dragged phalanges down your thighs in gentle figure 8 motions. His mind seemed elsewhere and he seemed for a lack of better words...stressed. 

“Uhhh, are you feeling okay?” He didn’t respond. “Do you have a femur?” You prompted. Sans cracked a smile.

“Nah, I guess I'm feeling a little bonely,” he chuckled. You chuckled and he stopped caressing your legs. He sat on the bed in front of you. You yawned once more and sat up, closing your legs. “a good friend of mine is going through a lot of stuff right now. trying to do good in the world for monsters.” He chuckled. 

“Are you talking about Frisk?” 

Sans shook his head. “no. his mother, tori.” He smirked, “you might know her as queen toriel.” You nodded. You weren’t entirely up to date on your current events but when Monster royalty starts appearing in the news, well it was hard not to take notice. Sans continued, “i didn’t know she was a queen when i first met her to be honest. she and i got to knowing each other by exchanging knock knock jokes behind closed doors. i didn’t even see her face to face until frisk was about to break the barrier.” 

“Dude,” you wondered.

“yeah she was the first one to find frisk when he fell down. and she was the one who made me promise to take care of any humans that fell into the underground,” Sans commented. “she’s full of kindness and mercy...sometimes too much so.” 

You bit your lip. You didn’t really know what to say. Sans watched you carefully before sighing. “tori would like humans and monsters to coexist peacefully...but some humans,” he smirked humorlessly as he spread apart your legs once more, “are not as, let’s say, open as you.” 

You chuckled at the pun but found your laugh end in a keel as his phalanges began to explore your folds. You leaned back onto your elbows and let your heads roll backwards as Sans advanced. 

“there was a bomb threat at their hotel where the royal family was staying saturday night...and all she was worried about was keeping frisk safe.” Your lips opened to make a noise but you found yourself groaning as his strokes became more deliberate. His bones began to circle your clitoris and thumb it. Sans chuckled darkly as he slid a finger in. “a bunch of knuckleheads threaten to destroy everything we work for and she still tries to save them.”

“Sans,” you tried but he wasn’t listening. You moaned again as he stretched and bent his finger within your walls, sending delightful electric shocks within you. He removed his finger and repositioned himself at your entrance. Foreplay was over. You tried one more time. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “nah, not this time.” He plunged in roughly and you shuddered at the sensation of being filled. His eye flickered blue as his left azure whisps on your skin as he stroked your breasts. You tried to sit up once. 

“Dude,” that's as far as you got. You felt your chest suddenly get heavy and the sensation of magic pinned you to the bed. You tested out your invisible restraints and found he had allowed you a little wiggle room but not nearly enough to do anything with. 

San climbed on top of you, maintaining the steady penetration and pressed his teeth against your lips. You sighed. Any more insight into his character was clearly going to have to wait and you parted your lips, allowing his tongue to enter your mouth and wrap around your own. Might as well enjoy it. 

You found yourself able to move your hips and you arched upwards to meet his member. He growled at the increase of friction and renewed his exertions.

You could feel the knot tightening in your stomach again. You were close. A few more thrusts like that and you would be over the edge soon. You didn't want to give in so quickly. You clenched your kegel muscles in an attempt to milk his ectodick. 

Sans eyed you in amusement. “Heh, you don't want to cum?”

You panted, “I want to make you feel good too,”

Sans chuckled. “gee that's nice of you kid. I'm feeling pretty good but if you're sure about that…” You nodded, “well alright then.”

Gravity seemed to fluctuate once more and Sans pulled out. You gasped at the emptiness and you were flipped onto all fours. You barely had enough time to steady yourself before Sans filled you to brim once more. Although scientifically impossible, you swore you could feel he him pounding against your womb. You moaned and squealed with each thrust, goading the skeleton to push himself deeper and faster. You were starting to see white at the edge of your vision.

“babe you’re doing great. just hang in there little bit more,” Sans grunted clasping your body tightly. You were sure you were going to have bruises on your hips at this rate. 

“Sans, Sans!” you gasped, “I’m going to, going to-” You shrieked as you felt magic thrust you backwards into Sans’ chest, forcing you to balance on your knees. The action hilted his entire shaft into you in one final plunge.

“Now cum,” Sans ordered into your ear. That was the last push and a wave of pleasurable release rocked you. Sans was quick to follow with a shuddering groan as you felt him shoot his load into you over and over until he was empty. You both remained still as his magic flickered and finally evaporated like steam off your body. You slid off his member sorely and collapsed onto the bed.

“Woah,” you breathed. 

Even Sans looked winded somewhat but he still maintained his smile as he stared down at your panting sweating form. His penis was already vanishing and you could feel his warm seed inside you begin to disappear. You giggled at the sensation and Sans shot you a quizzical look. “normally when a girl laughs during sex, it's when he’s pulling it out, not putting it back,” he chuckled. 

“No no, it just tickles a bit,” you explained. You observed him as well, noting his much less tense appearance. “You think you might be able to sleep now? Uh, Sans?”

He had fallen asleep.  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, yes, you read the title right. This is Part 1 of this night. Hang in there for Part 2. But hopefully this has quenched some of the thirst going around. :D
> 
> SFW Sum up:  
> Sans and you hook up. He explains that last Saturday he went to get Frisk due to a bomb threat at the hotel his family was it and that's why you got ditched at Grillby's.
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)


	46. Difficulty Sleeping Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have rested and life is back to normal. Whew.  
> My friend caught an Aerodactyl and I'm kinda jealous.  
> Anyway part 2! Here we go! Same night!

Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of your phone ringing. You sat up from under your covers and blinked sleepily. You spotted your phone on your nightstand and reached over to grab it. “Ah man, who would be calling now?” You mumbled, answering your phone. “Hello?”

“Good evening, human!” You winced at the volume. There was no mistaking that voice. 

“Papyrus?”

“Ah! You recognize my voice!” 

“It’s hard not to,” you chuckled, you sat up a little bit more until your back was against your headrest, “What time is it?”

“Ah, about 10:30?” That wasn’t that late. You wonder why you were more exhausted than usual.

“Oh, that’s not that late,” You admitted. 

“Well it’s late for Frisk. He’s already asleep.” You heard Papyrus grumble. “To be honest, I would have joined him but I’m having difficulty sleeping.”

“Huh. How come?” 

“Well normally my brother is here to read me a bed time story. But I’m not sure where he’s run off to. You remember him, right?” Papyrus did not know where his brother was? You stuck out your foot as you yawned and felt it collide with something solid. You looked down at your foot and let out a startled shout.

“Sans?!” 

“Yes! That’s him! Have you seen him?” Papyrus asked eagerly.

“Ah-I-uh!” Sans was dead asleep on your bed…uh, he wasn’t dead, right? You could see the slow rise and fall of his chest which confirmed that the undead Monster was still alive. But…he was here lying like a sloth on your bed. Why the fuck was he here? He didn’t stay the last time you guys hooked up? He must have really been stressed out. You poked him with your foot but he only snored. Shit, it was like a rock. 

“Maybe I should call him again with Frisk’s phone,” you heard Papyrus speak to himself. 

“No!” You found yourself shouting. You could not afford him calling Sans when he was right next to you. What if he heard Sans’ ringtone? Technically you weren’t exclusive still but that would probably raise more questions than you felt like answering at this moment.

“Is something the matter?” He asked. 

“Uhhhhh…..” Think fast, think fast! “Why don’t I read you a story?” You heard yourself offer. 

“R-really?” Papyrus asked incredulously. 

“Yes?” You asked more than confirmed. 

An excited squeal forced you to pull the phone away quickly from your ear to avoid permanent hearing damage. “Oh! A human story! I would be so honored if you shared one of your stories!” 

You slid off the bed and walked into your living room. You didn’t have a lot of books here. Most of your books were at your parents’ home but you did have a few here and there that you either purchased or that Kaylie’s boys would leave over when you babysat them. You highly doubted Papyrus would be interested in Radiology for Small Animals so instead you picked up the first child’s book you saw. 

“Have you ever heard of Cinderella?” You asked.

“No, what is that?”

“It’s a story about a woman named Cinderella.”

“What an interesting name!” 

You opened the book and breathed a sigh of relief as you discovered that this was not the Grimm’s version of the story. Which was much darker and involved dismemberment. You sat on the couch and cozied up against the armrest. “Alright, ready for your story?”

“Ooh! Ooh! Wait! Let me get under the blankets!” Papyrus exclaimed. You heard the rustle of sheets. “Well, the couch is not the comfiest, but since Frisk has the bed, this will have to do!” 

“That was rather nice of you.” 

“Ready”

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl named Cinderella. She was very kind, friend to all animals and worked very hard. She lived with her wicked stepmother and two stepsisters.”

“How did we know they were wicked?”

“Uh…they treated her badly. Made her wash everything, called her names and didn’t let her wear good clothes.” You coughed and continued. “One day, there was a grand ball in the king’s palace and they were all invited. The stepsisters and stepmother told Cinderella she could go if she made all of their clothes and helped them get ready. However, once Cinderella had helped them and it was time to go, they left her behind.”

“Well, that’s not very nice.” 

“That’s the whole point of being wicked. Generally, you’re not nice.”

“I suppose so, but are you sure they left her behind on purpose? Maybe it was a mistake?”

“It wasn’t a mistake, Pap. In fact, it made Cinderella so sad that she began to cry. Suddenly a fairy godmother appeared and asked her not to be sad. She said, “Don’t cry! I will help you get to the ball!” Cinderella really appreciated the offer, but she did not have a gown for the ball. However, the fairy godmother took out her magic wand and with the words, “Bibbiddi Bobbidi Boo!” Cinderella found herself wearing a beautiful new gown.”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Beautiful new gown?” 

“No, no. Before that. What the fairy godmother said?”

“Uh, oh! Bibbiddi Bobbidi Boo?”

“Yes! That! Bopity booditi boot? What does that mean?” 

“It’s just her way of casting magic. You’ve got your orange eye, she’s got magic words.” 

“Ah, thank you.” 

“The fairy godmother then touched Cinderella’s feet with her magic wand, said those magic words and behold! She was wearing beautiful glass slippers!” 

“Slippers? That doesn’t seem appropriate for a ball. Unless you’re Sans.” 

“It’s another word for female shoes. Like heels or something…you’re not questioning the whole glass thing?” 

“Should I?”

“…no, actually don’t. Well, Cinderella was very grateful but she still had no way of getting to the king’s palace. It was a very far distance. So the fairy godmother looked around and saw some of Cinderella’s animal friends, a few mice, playing near a large pumpkin. She said “Bibbiddi Bobbidi Boo!” once more and the mice all turned into horses. And the pumpkin turned into a carriage.” Cinderella was so happy and was about to leave when the fairy godmother warned her, “Cinderella, this magic will only last until midnight! You must come home by then!””

“That seems like very good advice. You should not stay up too late or you’ll be very tired in the morning.” 

“Midnight is not that late,” you argued.

“It is for a party.”

“When Cinderella entered the palace, everyone was surprised by how beautiful she was. Not even her own stepmother or stepsisters knew who she really was all dressed up in her nice clothes and her shoes. The handsome prince also saw her and they immediately fell in love with each other.”

“Ah! They soul connected!” 

“Uh yeah, sure.”

“No, let me explain,” Papyrus explained with a yawn, “Soul connection refer to two people or monsters meeting and having their souls instantly connect, even if they’ve never seen each other before.”

“Oh, we have a saying like that. It’s called love at first sight. When you see someone and you instantly fall in love with them, even if you don’t know their name.” 

“That sounds very similar. Sometimes they don’t even know that they love each other at first. There’s just a connection.” Papyrus hummed thoughtfully. “Perhaps we have read the same history books?” 

“Or romance novels…”

“I’m sorry?”

“So the handsome prince also saw her and fell in love with Cinderella. He went to her and asked if she wanted to dance and she said “Yes!” So they danced all night together and nobody knew who she was.”

“Wait.”

“What?”

“Why does it keep saying handsome prince? Aren’t all princes handsome?” 

“Uh, guess not. I suppose this story just wants to clarify that he was rather good looking,” you admitted, realizing that this was a bit odd. “In fact, she was so happy dancing with the handsome prince-“

“There it is again!” 

“Dammit, Papyrus. Okay, yes fine. The book is a bit obsessed with that.”

“Do you find the prince handsome?” 

“What?”

“Are there pictures? Is he rugged and daring?” You looked at the illustration to see a rather fair skinned prince dancing with Cinderella. He looked almost as feminine as Cinderella.

“He actually looks a bit girly.”

“Girly can be handsome.”

“Not to me,” you laughed.

“Well what’s handsome to you?” Papyrus asked curiously.

You bit your lip. “Well…ideally, he would be tall. Or at least taller than me, which isn’t that hard. He’s got to be strong too. Not like muscly but just he could help lift furniture?” The adult in you was starting to come out. You tried to tone it back a bit. “Someone who took care of himself – washed regularly, didn’t eat junk food all the time.” Emphasis on the word TRIED. One more shot. “And beautiful eyes and a big smile every time he saw me.” 

“Would he need hair?”

You yawned sleepily. “Nah…he’s just got to be very huggable is all.”

“Well...skeletons are very huggable.” Papyrus suggested.

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh really?”

“Yes. It is a well known fact that bones are in fact very comfortable. Therefore, skeletons are huggable.”

“Are they cuddleable too?” You asked slyly. 

“Ah-well yes – of course! That’s why I’m so good at it!”

You couldn’t help but aww. “Well maybe you can demonstrate your skills.”

“At what?”

“Cuddling?”

“Of course! I was just testing you! Yes! I am very good at that thing we have discussed!” 

“Want me to continue the story?”

“Yes please.”

“In fact, she was so happy dancing with the handsome prince that she forgot her fairy godmother’s advice. It was at the very last second that she remembered and she quickly left the prince to go home! “Oh! I must go!” she cried and ran out of the palace. In fact, she was in such a hurry, that one of her glass slippers came off but she did not turn back for it.”

“Why would she leave?” 

“Because the magic was going to run out and she would turn back to normal.” 

“Why would that matter? If the prince really loved her, he would still love her even in normal clothes.”

“Well, maybe she didn’t know that he loved her back.” 

“I suppose. I’ve heard those soul connections aren’t the most obvious when it comes to determining feelings of affection for someone else.”

“Yeah, those sound pretty complicated. Although the prince sent guards and search dogs to chase her, Cinderella was too fast and eluded them all. She reached home just as midnight struck. Her carriage turned into a pumpkin, her horses into her mice friends and her beautiful gown back into rags. All that was left was the glass slipper she had managed to bring home. She hid the shoe just as her stepmother and stepsisters came home, talking about the beautiful strange girl at the ball.”

“The prince had fallen in love with Cinderella and was determined to find her again although he did not know her name. All he had was the glass slipper that had fallen off Cinderella’s foot when she was running away.”

“Wouldn’t he recognize her?”

“Excuse me?”

“She should still be recognizable,” Papyrus insisted.

“Uh, well maybe the magic changed her appearance. Like she was already beautiful but it just showed a different side of it?” You bullshitted desperately.

“Ah! That sounds like very interesting magic. I wonder if Alphys would know about that!” 

“Is she a fairy godmother?”

“No but she watches animes with fairies in it.”

“…So all he had was the glass slipper that had fallen off Cinderella’s foot when she was running away. The prince said, “I will find her. The lady whose foot fits this slipper will be the one I marry!” Papyrus remained quiet at this part. “Really, no comment on that?”

“No, that is a very good deduction. Plus, marriage makes sense if they’ve already connected.”

You blinked in surprise. “Ah, right then. So the next day, the prince and his men took the glass slipper and went to all the houses in the kingdom, trying to find the woman whose feet fit in the slipper. All the women in the kingdom tried the slipper but it would not fit any of them. Even Cinderella’s stepsisters tried on the little glass slipper but it did not fit for their feet were too big. Cinderella’s stepmother saw how excited Cinderella was and broke the slipper, claiming it was an accident.”

“Oh…that was not very nice.”

“The prince and his servants were all distraught until Cinderella declared that she had kept the other slipper. Cinderella’s stepmother refused to let her try the slipper on, but the prince spotted her and ordered her to try on the slipper. The slipper fit perfectly. The prince recognized Cinderella from the ball. They got married and they lived happily ever after. The End.”

You heard Papyrus yawn again into the phone. “That was a very good story. Thank you,” he thanked sleepily. 

His yawning triggered your own and you smiled. “Think you’ll be able to go to sleep now?”

“Yes, I think I can. Thank you. I look forward to our date.”

“Me too. Good night, Papyrus.” 

“Good night, Lori.” 

You hung up the phone, stretched and walked back to your bed. Sans was no longer there. You shrugged and crawled back into your now empty bed. You quickly fell asleep, dreaming of glass, pink slippers and handsome princes. 

~~~~~

The sun had already set on Sunset Animal Hospital as TJ packed up to leave. He nervously glanced at the door to the doctors’ office once and a while but the door remained closed. Everyone else had gone home. Still, it would be dangerous to stay any longer than he needed to and he quickly tossed the rest of his belongings into his bag. He had just grabbed his car keys when the sound of a door opening made him freeze. 

“Ah! There you are, dear!” A pleasant older voice called out. TJ almost swore under his breath as he turned to face the voice. It was Pam. She looked absolutely delighted to see him. Which made him worry. 

“Uh, hello Pam, I was just leaving,” he began. 

“Oh, I’m sure you were. Go ahead and have a seat,” she motioned to his chair. 

“Ah, it’s okay, I’ll stand-“

“I wasn’t asking, dear.” TJ quickly sat back down and looked at the receptionist warily. She continued to smile. “You know, you and I were supposed to have a little chat the day before.”

“Yes…”

“And I was so looking forward to our discussion and I know you wouldn’t just walk out on little old me on purpose, right?”

“Of course not,” he lied. 

Pam smiled and shut the door. “Now, TJ, dear. I believe you sent Lori on an errand, yes?” 

TJ sighed. “Yes, she was to deliver some literature I had accidentally borrowed from a client.” 

“Yes, I understand. But she was injured, doing you a favor,” Pam continued.

“How is doing her job considered doing me a favor?” 

“Was she hired to deliver anime books or draw blood?”

“Pam, this is ridiculous.”

“Deliver anime or draw blood?” Pam insisted, her old eyes flashing dangerously. 

TJ gulped. “Draw blood.” 

Pam smiled. “Wonderful. Now let’s not beat around the bush any longer. You owe her.” 

TJ blinked. “I owe her? What do you mean I owe her?”

“You owe her a favor in return.” 

TJ stood up angrily. “Pam, you’re being ridiculous and you are way out of line here. I don’t owe Lori anything. Now if you excuse me, I have to go home!” He began to walk past her. 

“Theodore Abigail Johnson!” Pam shouted, making the vet freeze. “You sit down, mister, RIGHT NOW!” The veterinarian darted back to his chair and sat down under the steely gaze of the old woman. Pam stood in front, her arms crossed. “To think I got you hired here to begin with! Dr. Sanchez, God rest his soul, wasn’t sure if he should hire you, being so young and fresh out of school! But I told him how that I could just tell that you were such a fine, young upstanding man and that you would make this hospital proud!” She scolded. Pam shot him a look. “Your first day, remember how terrified you were of making a mistake! You CRIED that afternoon in the restroom!”. 

TJ immediately shifted his eyes. “I-uh.”

“I baked you a welcome cake and snuck you medical notes when the other doctors weren’t looking?! I took care of you for 12 years!! And this is how you repay me?!” Pam cried, raising a hand to her forehead dramatically. 

“Well, er…”

“Theodore, dear, I’m not mad, I’m just very disappointed in you,” she sighed. The vet hung his head in shame. “Now, tomorrow when she comes in, you’re going to be a gentleman and tell that nice lady that you owe her…or else.”

TJ looked up nervously. “Or else what?”

“I have the pictures from your first day you were hired,” Her lips curled up evilly, “And you looked just dapper in polka dots, sweetie.” TJ paled and the receptionist patted his shoulder gently. “I’m glad we had this talk, dear. Please gives hugs and kisses to Allison for me, won’t you?”

“Yes.”

“What was that?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, no nsfw (well maybe that last part huh?)  
> Anyone got a favorite bed time story?
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)


	47. MTT: Prologue and Episode 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Thank you, thank you everyone for tuning into Monsterkind’s first serial drama! It will undoubtedly be full of drama, suspense and romance! You’ll be on the edge of your seat until you fall off! Of course, because I love you all, I've decided to include a special sneak peek at the magic that happens with our pre production team!
> 
> But I have given away too much already! Without further ado, I present MTT's Forbidden Love!!"

“No, this won’t work. Really now, nobody has any ideas?” Mettaton asked. He sat at the table of a group of monster writers and tapped his fingers against the table. “We are going to start filming in less than 15 minutes and not one of you can think of anyone to play the human?” The writers mumbled to themselves. The star let out an exasperated sigh as someone knocked on the door. “Come in.”

Burgerpants peeked in. “Uh, you wanted to see me sir?”

Mettaton nodded and beckoned him in. “Yes, yes, do you have the transcript for the next episode?”

One of the writers blanched. “Wait, are you saying that the actors haven’t even seen the script yet?” 

Mettaton nodded. “Of course not! I want them to act genuinely. It hardly makes sense to give them the script ahead of time. They’ll just memorize it and get too used to saying their lines that they won’t be able to carry out the true emotion of what the characters are feeling.” Burgerpants placed the paperwork in front of him and shifted nervously. 

“Uh...so if you don’t mind, if you don’t need me anymore I’m gonna go-”

“Oh my God! Did she actually say that??” Mettaton gasped, reading the papers intently. 

“Uh yeah, it's a direct transcript of everything they've said in public so far. The only place I've not been able to listen is when she is in her home.” Mettaton began to hand out copies of the recorded conversations to his writers who proceeded to quickly edit and skim like mad men. 

Yes, the papers you and Papyrus had unwittingly signed allowed MTT to not only use your likeness, but also granted permission for the company to record every word and action you did. And anyone else you associated with. Although that last part was a bit fuzzy on the legality, you and Papyrus’ actions had provided plenty of material for Mettaton’s project. 

Burgerpants sweated anxiously and shifted uncomfortably. “So, uh, sir if you don’t need me anymore.” 

Mettaton waved. “Alright, alright. Just one more thing.” The sound of giggling from behind the door made Mettaton paused and shot Burgerpants a suspicious glance. “Burgerpants, do you have something to tell me?” 

Burgerpants shuffled his feet. “Uhh, I may have some guests I’m showing around the studio.” There was more giggling. 

Mettaton glanced at the door and then back at Burgerpants. “Those sound like females, Burgerpants.”

“Yeah..”

“I mean, actual females,” Mettaton insisted.

“I know!” Burgerpants spat irritably. 

Mettaton looked astounded. “What women did you manage to convince to come with you?” 

“Shh, oh my god, you got to be quiet!” 

“Whaa!! I can’t help it! I’m just so excited!”

“I know! I’m like super excited too!” 

“Like, do you think we’re going to see Mettaton?” 

“Oh my god! I mean no way will you see him!” 

“Whaatttt? Why not?”

“Because I’m going to see him first!” 

“Oh my god, Catty, you are so awful!” 

Mettaton stared at Burgerpants who was trying to hide in his shirt. “Are those the two girls who go through our dumpsters?” he asked.

“AHHHH! Bratty!!! He knows who we are!!” 

“That’s because we are so ah-mazing!” 

Mettaton waved his hands. “Bring them in.”

Burgerpants wasn’t sure he had heard him correctly. “Sir?”

The star nodded. “Go ahead and let them in.” Burgerpants glanced around to make sure he was hearing him correctly. The silence afterwards confirmed he had heard correctly. 

“Uh okay then.” He walked back outside and shut the door. There was some quiet whispering followed immediately by the sound of excited screaming. Two mobster barged in, squealing. 

“Oh my God! It’s like Mettaton!”

“I’ve been planning our dream wedding for years!” 

“Years? I’ve been planning all my life!” 

Mettaton held a hand to his chest, flattered at the attention. “My, my ladies! I am touched by your flattery! What are your names?”

“That’s Catty!” 

“And that’s Bratty! We’re like-”

“Your biggest fans!!” 

Mettaton tapped his display monitor thoughtfully. Burgerpants walked in afterwards, looking like he had just been run over with a steamroller. He froze when he saw how Mettaton was observing Catty. “Uhhh…” A bad feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. 

Mettaton cleared his throat. “Catty, was it?” 

“Oh my God! Catty, he knows your name!” 

“AHHHH! I’m so excited!

“Have you ever thought about being a star?”

“What?!” Burgerpants gasped.

“A star?” Catty squealed. “Maybe? I don’t know!” 

“You could totally be a star!” Bratty assured her. 

“You think so?”

“Of course! You already act like a diva!” 

“Shut up! You’re so bad...but I really do.”

Mettaton pressed his fingers together. “How would you like to star as the romantic female lead in my television series?” 

“Oh my god! Yes! Yes!” Catty shrieked, “Can Bratty come too?” 

“Of course!” Mettaton cheered. “Do you think you could play the best friend coworker?” 

Both girls screamed in joy. Burgerpants looked absolutely haunted as Mettaton began to hand out scripts to the girls. “Uh, Mettaton?” 

“Not now, Burgerpants! Someone get these girls to the dressing rooms! We start filming in 10!”

 

Episode 1

*Scene opens up in hospital background. Various monsters are in 50s hospital garb, walking around, pretending to hit other monsters on the knees with hammers and using a stethoscope to listen to a wall.*

Catty: *Walks out in a traditional nurse dress* Oh what a busy day! But it’s not too busy because I am Laura, a self independent, human woman in my late 20s. However it is way too busy to ever date anyone so I guess I’ll just have to keep being really serious about my job. 

Bratty: *Walks to Catty from off stage* Oh my god! Did you hear my fellow human best friend that a monster is here?

Catty (Laura): What??? Are you like serious, bestie friend Thomasina?

Bratty (Thomasina): Tot’s serious!

Clam Guy: Hello! I am the very serious doctor, Dr. T! I have vast credentials and know what I’m talking about! We need to do hospital work stat on this patient! *a small Annoying White Dog is wheeled in on a stretcher* Here are the owners!

*Bleu the ice cream vendor and Ugly Phish come in. Ugly Phish is wearing a bright blue cardigan sweater and Bleu has donned some hastily made cardboard armor* 

Bleu: Please help our dog monster friend for I am the Glorious Palatino! Please ignore my brother, Segoe, for he is a real nice guy but the script, er, I mean, he is not very smart. 

Ugly Phish (Segoe): Whatsup? I like your butt! Can I touch it?” 

*A loud commotion is suddenly heard off stage. All the actors and actresses quickly look at each other panicked. A familiar metallic voice yells, “KEEP GOING!”*

Catty (Laura): Oh my gosh, I’m like seriously offended but maybe I am secretly flattered judging by how red my cheeks are! Wink wink!

Bratty (Thomasina): Oh no! Doctor! We are losing the patient! He is having heart kidney esophagus failure!*she points to Annoying Dog who had began to roll on to his back for tummy rubs*

Ugly Phish (Segoe): Is that serious?

Bratty (Thomasina): It’s like, super serious!

Clam Guy (Dr. T): I need someone to help me restrain my unruly patient! You there, Palatino, with your strong skeletal stature, hold the patient down with Laura and Thomasina!

*Bleu gently pats the dogs head and the girls proceed to give belly rubs*

Clam Guy (Dr. T): *pulls out two unplugged irons* I have to save the patient! Everyone act likes they’re shocked! I mean, uh, go! *puts the irons on the wiggly dog and everyone awkwardly pretends to be shocked as Clam Guy accidentally read their action cues as dialogue*

Ugly Phish (Segoe): Wow! You saved the patient while I just sat here staring at butts! Good job! Here’s a bad joke about dogs! They are never easy, they make things roof.

Bleu (Palantino): Haha-oh I mean! That is a terrible joke! Please go home and I will join you later to make dinner. *Ugly Phish gets up and walks off stage, followed quickly by Annoying Dog who found something interesting in the corner*

Catty (Laura): Wow! That was so stressful! I’m so glad I’m a nurse specialist independent adult woman!

Bleu (Palantino): I need your help. Will you come to my boss’ house tomorrow to help me with medical stuff?

Bratty (Thomasina): Oh my god! Do it Ca-Laura! Then we can chat about it over wine coolers the next day!

Catty (Laura): Oh okay, if you say so! Sure I’ll come to your boss’ fancy house! *Bleu and Clam Guy leave* Hey my phone is buzzing!

Bratty (Thomasina): Who is it?

Catty (Laura): Omg! It’s a super hot hunky monkey and he wants to take me out to dinner tomorrow! And I said yes!

Bratty (Thomasina): But don’t you have to be at like the boss lady’s house?

Catty (Laura): Oh no!! What do I do now?

DUN DUN DUN!

*To be continued appears on the screen*

Mettaton leapt out of his chair. “And Scene!” He clasped his hands together. “Wonderful! That was wonderful! What an exciting start to this series! Although I am going to have to remind those not being filmed to keep themselves quiet while we’re filming.” He shot an irritated glance at Burgerpants who shyly scratched his head 

“I didn’t like what he said to Catty,” he mumbled. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” 

“That’s what I thought.” Mettaton coasted over to Napstablook who was in control of the sound effects and theme music. “How many viewers did we get, dear?”

“Uh, well, apparently a lot of people thought we were advertising costumes…so 12?” Napstablook offered helpfully.

Mettaton sighed. “Well 12 fans are better than no fans! I’m sure after next episode, the fanmail will come streaming in by the truckload!” He smiled proudly. “Now can you make us theme music to play over the romantic parts coming up?”

“Uhhh, I think so.” 

Mettaton beamed and quickly rolled back to his director’s chair. “I can already feel the popularity! Alright, let’s start writing next episode already!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I know darlings! I know! You're practically drooling to see our next episode! I can hardly contain myself to not show it to you! Remember, good things come to those who wait and even better things come to those who spread the news about MTT's new show Forbidden Love!"
> 
> ...Alright folks, Mettaton appears to have taken off for a bit so I'll explain what's happening. The monster host has decided to proceed with his new show about a monster and a human who fall in love with each other and that "is totally not based on anyone close to him". So everytime you see "MTT" in the Chapter Title, you'll be able to catch an episode of Forbidden Love. They are absolutely not crucial to the story whatsoever and the writing is a bit shoddy (although I'm sure it will improve once the writers get their hands on their hands on the good stuff). Treat them like a Pap Mini Chapter if you will and read with a grain of salt (or a glass of vodka, I don't care. Whatever makes it easier for you to swallow this)
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)


	48. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS. EVERYONE OF YOU HAVE GOT TO CLICK THIS [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> That is a gif! An actual series of gifs made by Zully from Chapter 36-37 where Papyrus jumps Lori! If you're going to check out just one gif, check this post out!  
> She also drew a few still shots [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)
> 
> Alright, now onto the chapter.

Frisk and Sans sat outside on the front porch of the skeleton home. Sans felt strangely peaceful as the two males sat in the sun. “so did you and pap come up with a battle strategy?” he asked after a few moments of content silence. 

Frisk nodded. “Yeah, he knows what he’s going to say when he first sees her.”

Sans blinked. “and?”

“That’s it.”

Sans smirked. “pap is smart. he’ll think of something. no sense in trying to plan ahead.”

Frisk grinned. “That’s what I said, but he wants to really be prepared. He even wanted to take his dating manual to training with him today but he doesn't even have it! Which made him even more nervous!” Frisk groaned. “Undyne’s got him all freaked out about what a bathing suit is.” 

Sans began to drag his phalanges through the dirt. “heh. he has a computer. he can just search for images.”

“Yeah, I think he forgot about that.” 

The sound of car approaching drew both of their attention ad thy looked up. Sans smiled. “Here comes your mom, kid.” Sure enough, the car came to a stop and a large white goat monster stepped out. 

“Frisk!” she exclaimed happily holding out her arms. Frisk ran and was immediately scooped up into her arms. The child looked almost miniature in the arms of his mother. Finally, she placed him down and he hopped into the car. 

“Hi Asgore!”

“Howdy Frisk!” a loud gentle voice greeted warmly. Sans stuck his head into the car. 

“heh you guys look about as comfy as sardines in a tin can,” Sans whistled. It was impressive how the king of monsters and two hand holding Royal Guards had managed to fit into this tiny car but they somehow managed it, albeit a bit cramped. 

“Howdy Sans. How are you?”

“i’m good. thanks, your majesty. how was your trip?”

“Good. I feel we have made some great progress in human monster relations,” Asgore answered optimistically.

“glad to hear it.” Sans stepped back and turned toward Toriel who was waiting patiently for him. 

She smiled down at her smaller friend. “Good afternoon, Sans, how are you?” 

“i’m good, tori. you?”

Tori sighed. “Much better, actually.” The two remained quiet for a moment. Sans felt himself hesitate slightly as Toriel observed him with a strange smile. 

“something in my hair?” Sans asked, tousling his skull playfully. 

“Haha, no no.” Toriel smirked. “It’s just you look different.” 

“different?” Sans questioned. 

“Yes. You seem less stressed. You look...rested. Dare I say, relaxed.” Sans cocked his head at her.

“me? nah, i’m as cool as a cucumber...but thanks,” he added with a wink. “i’ve been able to let off some steam lately.” 

“I’m glad. Well I would love to share my new jokes, but I’m afraid I better get the boys home.” She was about to turn back to the car but paused. “Oh, I’ve heard a rumor that we will all be seeing each other tomorrow afternoon for a ‘secret party’.” 

“hmm, don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sans shrugged as Toriel pulled out her cell phone. 

“Oh, really?” She handed her phone to him and he eyed it curiously. She had it opened to an event page on the Undernet. 

“‘mettaton and frisk’s super secret birthday party...don’t tell his parents,’” Sans read outloud. “huh would you look at that?”

“You’re the first name in the RSVP list.”

“well you goat me there.”

Tori laughed wholeheartedly. “I missed you Sans. I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 

“heh, see ya tori.” 

~~~~~

You let out an exhausted sigh as you flopped onto the couch. What a busy, yet absolutely boring day! There were no soul pictures, no sexual harassment, no death traps of death...in fact that had been a single monster related thing that happened to you all day. You couldn’t help but feel disappointed. 

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” You asked yourself. “You should be celebrating! You had a day of actually being normal again!” Change was scary! Right? You felt your shoulders sink. The thought of normalcy didn’t sound so enticing anymore. 

You looked over at the bathing suit you had hung up. You couldn’t believe you were going through with this. You did like Papyrus. You couldn’t deny it at this point. Enough to date him exclusively? Uh…you avoided the question and looked around your room. Your stomach clenched and you glanced at the bathing suit once more. What was Mettaton thinking choosing such a color for a bathing suit? You never wore this color before. Not since you were little at least. 

You were never going to get any sleep if you kept up thinking like this. And you knew the quickest way to solve this was to have a drink. You hopped out of bed and walked to your kitchen. You groaned when you opened the fridge and did not spot any cider. However, you did spot an unopened Merlot. You hemmed and hawed slightly. It seemed a shame to open a whole bottle of wine just to have only a glass. Plus, wine did make you more emotionally charged…among other physical things. But then again, it was an inexpensive wine and being slightly emotional now was better than being exhausted the next day.

You poured yourself a glass and walked back to the bed, resting your beverage on your nightstand. You took a large sip and began to play with your phone. Perhaps you could try a Sudoku puzzle? That always got your attention. You loaded up one of the puzzles and made it about 40% of the way through before you came to a stop. It was one of those L shaped or S shaped patterns. You weren’t entirely sure. There was a type of logic needed for this part that involved knowing a particular rule that was specific to this situation. Which you didn’t know, so this made this portion of the game damn near impossible. 

Papyrus would probably know what to do. He seemed to really enjoy puzzles. Perhaps you could screenshot the puzzle and text him a copy. Then he could give you hints over the phone on what to do? That was a super great…terrible idea. “Are you nuts?” You bluntly asked yourself. How desperate were you going to appear, calling him the night before the date. For puzzle help? He would think you were a moron.

Actually, no he wouldn’t, would he? He never thought you were a moron. Or at least he never said you were. But to be honest, he didn’t seem like the type of guy, er monster, who would. Nah. He’d go ahead and try to explain things over the phone. But, you were probably a better visual learner. Yeah, you’d probably see if he could come over and explain it. It wasn’t that late anyway. Plenty of time to solve a few puzzles. Hell, maybe you both could take on Diabolical difficulty together. No guarantees you would beat it though. It was an appropriately named level of difficulty. 

You guys would probably have to take a break from puzzles. Maybe you could teach him how to bake cookies without causing a nuclear meltdown of your oven. Oh my god, you could just see him trying to hold a tray of cookies with his gloves on. That would be adorable. Not that you found him incredibly cute, you mean. You mean, sure, any grown male holding a plate of cookies was already charming, but just it being well, him, just made it seem extra uh…sweet? Endearing? 

You were getting sidetracked! Cookies! Yes! Cookies went really well with milk and movies! If he wanted to, maybe you would be willing to watch a scary movie. But you guys would probably have to sit really close together. Uh, not because you’d be scared at all. Nope. Your couch uh, just might be too small for him. In fact, it would be safest if you cuddled. Less surface area for monsters to strike! And if he got nervous, you’d be right there for him to hold tight. Not that he’d get nervous. Papyrus was really brave – he did brave a ghost for you after all. Technically. You grinned goofily. But still, if you could see in the dark, you bet he looked really heroic when he went into the backroom of Grillby’s. A smiling, strong, clean male who was willing to brave danger. Hell, with that armor on, you could almost claim he was some type of knight or maybe even a prince or…

…wait... 

Your grin froze and your hand flew to your chest. Your heart was beating wildly. “Fucking, god, no fucking no. Wait.” You begged. But your heart continued to beat as realization set in. 

You had fallen for Papyrus. And that terrified you. 

Fuck. 

~~~~~

Papyrus paced back and forth nervously in his room. Tomorrow was his second date with you. And he still wasn’t sure what a bathing suit was. He finally broke down and googled “Lori in bathing suit”, but the images only pulled up an older, blonde woman in strange, small pieces of clothing. Were you going to dress as her? Were you going to dye your hair? What would you look like as a blonde anyway? 

These questions did nothing to placate his anxiety. Maybe there was a dish he could clean to take his mind off of things? No. There wasn’t. Because he had already checked an half hour ago. Darn his efficiency! He finally took off his boots and crawled into bed. He stared at the ceiling. Maybe he could clean the ceiling? No, that seemed excessive. Or maybe it wasn’t. Life on the surface was certainly different. Perhaps ceilings did acquire dust. He should call you and ask if that happened.

“Nyeh! No, no, no!” He caught himself as he almost dialed you and quickly put the phone down. He had to not think of you at the moment. Thinking of you made him incredibly excited and nervous at the same time. And the last thing he wanted was to show up sleepy to the date. Maybe he needed another story? Sans had read one to him an hour ago but Papyrus still hadn’t been able to sleep. He didn’t want to wake up Sans for one though. His brother seemed to have picked up another hobby as of late, although he did not share with Papyrus what it was. However, whatever it was, it put Sans in a good mood and he seemed to sleep even more deeply than before. He actually appeared rested and relaxed and did not shuffle his slippered feet so much when he walked.

Papyrus retrieved one of the books from his collection that Sans had rented from their town’s library. He flipped open the cover and spotted the check in/check out slip attached to the inner cover. He winced as the words “Property of Snowdin Librarby” were proudly embossed on the top of the slip. He’s not sure if any monster had gotten fired for the misprint that now existed on every piece of librarby, er, library property. 

“Wow, Sans rented this book over a year ago…I hope they don’t fine us too much for it being late,” Papyrus admitted to himself as he noticed the check out date. Then again, he’s not sure where the library had actually gone once it got to the surface. If he ever found it, he would make sure to return the book, pay the fine and then rent it again because who didn’t love the adventures of Fluffy Bunny?

He wondered what it would be like to have you read him a story. Not over the phone, but to actually do what Sans did and be here in person. Would you do the voices for the characters? Would you sit on a chair or maybe on the edge of the bed like Sans did? Of course you would sit on the bed! Story telling was always more exciting when everyone sat closer together. In fact, it only made even more sense that you should sit next to him while you read in order to get the maximum effect of the story! 

Papyrus thumbed the book cover thoughtfully. You would probably have to get under the covers too. A cold storyteller would not be able to do a story justice! Especially if it was a love story. You would have to be really close to him because no doubt there would whispering in a love story. It would break the atmosphere if he had to ask you to repeat yourself because he couldn’t hear you whispering. Perhaps it would be best if he held you while you read to him so he would be sure to hear every word you said. And if you decided to act out the story, it was the utmost important that he could hold you. That way, when you got to the final scene where they kiss, you could just turn to him and he would be right there to just…just…

Oh no. No. No. No. His sockets widened in realization and he looked down in alarm as his chest glowed. There was no way he could deny it now. 

Papyrus had romantic feelings for you. And that terrified him. 

Nyeh!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter - The Date!! :D  
> Btw, searching "Lori in a bathing suit" pulls up pictures of designer Lori Coulter in bathing suits. No idea who she is but she seems like a swell gal. 
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)


	49. Undyne is a Responsible Driver (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the beginning of the date!! :D  
> Are you excited? I'm excited. AHHHHHH :D

A loud pounding jolted you awake from a rather uh, disturbing sleep you had managed to get. There was a lot of tossing and turning and skeleton princes. You felt your heart beat manically at the suddenness of your wakening before it finally settled down. You tumbled out of bed, swearing and tripping.

“Hey dork! Open up!” You heard a voice yell from outside. You yawned and opened the door, coming face to face with two familiar monsters. They were wearing sunglasses and bathing suits underneath some summer clothes.

“Undyne? Alphys? What time is it? Why are you in my house?” You yawned, letting the two monsters in.

“It’s about 10:15am,” Alphys answered.

“We need quarters!!” Undyne exclaimed, darting into your home.

“Quarters?” You asked.

“For the parking meters,” Alphys translated as Undyne proceeded to explore your kitchen.

You shuffled around and found your jar of loose change. You blinked sleepily as you handed the jar to Alphys. “Wait...why are you guys in my home again?” You realized.

“Oh! We thought it would work best if we all carpooled together,” Alphys smiled.

You nodded. “That’s a good idea. Parking is probably going to suck...uh, but isn’t the party at noon?”

“Yeah! We’re just making sure that you’re actually going to show!” You heard Undyne yell from your kitchen.

You laughed. “What? Of course. I’m going to show! It’s hella rude to not show up for a date,” you winked.

That answer satisfied the fish monster and she returned to looting your kitchen. “Glad to hear it! Hey, you should have someone come fix your oven! It’s not getting nearly hot enough to cook successfully!”

Alphys quickly darted in and pulled out Undyne who had been tampering with your controls on the stove. “U-undyne!”

“You’re right! We’ll have to fix it ourselves!” Undyne enthusiastically declared.

You were too sleepy to argue with that...or even understand what she was talking about. “That’s cool. Cool. Um, excuse me while I go get ready.” You walked into your bedroom and began to strip. The two monsters in the living room were talking amongst each other quietly. You managed to just put on your bathing suit when Undyne busted in.

“Hey Lori!”

“Jesus Christ!” You shrieked. “What?!” You tried to quickly pull a shirt over your bikini top.

“Is that your bathing suit?!” Undyne asked with a huge grin.

“Undyne! You-you can’t just barge into people’s bedrooms like that!” Alphys ran in, waving her arms frantically. She looked at you apologetically before doing a double take. “Oh oh!”

Well shit. Now you were very self conscious. “What?” you asked hurriedly, “Is it bad?! Should I change?! Fuck, I should change!”

“Hell no!” Undyne ordered. “This is perfect!!”

“Uh...you sure?” you asked hesitantly.

Alphys was blushing but nodded along with her girlfriend. She squeaked in approval, having not been able to orally speak at the moment.

“Well okay then. I’m almost done. Let me just pack a change of clothes and grab a sweater.”

“No sweater!” Undyne growled, snatching the hoodie out of your hands.

“What?”

“No sweater!” Undyne smiled mischievously, pointing to the tank top you had slipped on over your bathing suit. “I want everyone to see your battle attachments!” You sputtered unintelligibly, only spurring on the fanged smile creeping onto Undyne’s face. “Finish packing. We’ll be waiting in the jeep!”

The two monsters left your room. You snuck your favorite hoody into your duffel bag containing Frisk’s gift and followed them shortly afterwards. Heheh, no one would suspect a thing.

~~~~~

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU IN THE APARTMENT?!?!” Undyne yelled.

“Are you fucking serious?!” You screamed back at her.

“Ahhhhhhh!!!” Alphys squealed as she attempted to steer the car from the passenger seat.

“I really like that hoody!!!” You hollered, trying to smack Undyne from the back seat unsuccessfully. Undyne had spotted your hoody in your bag and snatched it before you could stop her, forcing Alphys to grab the steering wheel in a desperate attempt to keep you all from swerving off the road.

“TOO BAD!!!” Undyne laughed manically as she held your hoody out the driver’s side window, “FUHUHU!!!”

“I WILL PUNCH YOU IF YOU TOSS IT!!!!” You finally snapped.

“Undyne!! Wait!” Alphys begged, spotting something in the rear view mirror. But her words fell on deaf ears.

“NGAHHHH!!!” Undyne roared and, with a powerful swing, tossed your hoody out the car window.

You stared in shock at her for a moment before letting out a war cry of your own. You unbuckled your seatbelt and proceeded to smack Undyne with your rolled up towel. The Captain appeared uninjured by your assault. In fact, she almost seemed proud. “YES! UNLEASH YOUR INNER FURY! USE THIS ENERGY TO CONQUER YOUR DATE!”

The sudden blare of a police siren made everyone freeze. Alphys groaned. “Th-that’s what I was trying to tell you,” she groaned, pulling the car to the side of the road.

Undyne stuck out her tongue as she brought the car to a stop. “Pshaw, I wasn’t even speeding that much! I wonder why he pulled us over?” You turned around to look through the rear view window and blanched.

“You threw my sweater at a cop,” you gasped. The sweater indeed was caught up in the windshield wipers of a police cruiser who was now utilizing a megaphone.

“Turn off your engine and remain seated in your vehicle!”

“FUCK!”

~~~~~

The police officer strode over to the car stiffly, clutching a ticket book tightly. “Wow, he looks uh, really mad,” Alphys nervously chuckled as she watched him approach.

“Shit, shit, shit, Undyne! This is considered assault on an officer. At the very least battery!” You panicked.

Undyne raised her brow. “What do batteries have to do with your sweater?”

A knock on the window halted all conversation. The police officer was at Alphys’ side of the door. She began to shake as she rolled down the window.

“License and registration, please,” the officer intoned roughly. Alphys’ hands trembled as she reached for the glove compartment.

Undyne peered at the officer before breaking into a humongous grin. “I KNOW YOU!!!”

The officer looked up sharply only to pale quickly. “Uhhhh, Eh, Captain Undyne?” The officer coughed and attempted to straighten himself back up. “I need to see your license and registration.”

“License and registration?” Undyne asked, “What’s that?” Alphys froze as her search in the glove compartment yielded neither of those two items. You had never gone to jail before. Then again, you were getting to experience a lot of first times lately, weren’t you?

The officer remained calm. “Do you know it’s against the law to drive without those-Captain please get back in the car!” Your head snapped around to see Undyne exiting the vehicle excitedly.

“I am so disappointed in you!” She huffed.

The officer was stunned. “Disappointed? I-uh, you threw a projectile at my vehicle!”

“AND YOU DIDN’T DODGE!!” Undyne asserted, pointing to your sweater which was still tangled amongst the officer’s windshield wipers. She began to run over to his side of her car, only for the officer to run to the other side to maintain the distance. “I know you can dodge better than that!” she exclaimed, “Do I really have to put you through the training course again?!” She began to chase him around the car.

The officer gasped, “I uh the gauntlet? No, no, no!” He realized, continuing to run in circles around the car.

Undyne laughed sadistically. “Tell you what! If you can dodge all the stuff I throw at you, you don’t have to run the gauntlet! Now get back over here and dodge this time!” She ordered as she pursued the officer.

~~~~~

“Surprise!!!”

Asgore squealed in delight. “Oh my! I did not expect this at all!” he exclaimed as he walked toward his subjects waving at him on the beach. Tori and Frisk exchanged knowing looks as they walked after him.

Mettaton bowed. “Well, a little birdy told me that our little Frisk turned 10 recently, and we thought what better way to celebrate than for a day at the beach!”

“That is very kind of you. Frisk has such thoughtful friends,” Tori smiled, shooting a wink at Sans who winked back.

Papyrus waved. “Oh! Frisk has even more thoughtful friends..but eh, they’re not here yet,” he admitted, glancing around curiously. There were a lot of monsters already here. The guard dogs were beginning to dig near the water. RG1 and RG2 had already taken off their chest plates and were sprawled out on the sand, making sand angels.

Frisk smiled. “I’m sure they’ll be here soon,” he said.

Asgore nodded. “I’m sure you are right. Let’s go set up our towels!” he eagerly suggested, carrying the beach gear. Frisk tugged Toriel along and they quickly set up their stuff.

It was good weather for the beach. The sun was shining. It wasn’t too hot with a nice breeze. The Monsters had managed to claim a sweet spot near one of the many volleyball courts and the lifeguard station...which turned out to be empty but it was a pretty good landmark. Just to be safe, Mettaton had insisted upon BP raising a large flag with his face on it...just to be safe of course. Even after Toriel had applied sunscreen to Frisk, they were still missing three individuals.

Papyrus wandered over to Sans who was dead asleep on the bare sand. “Eh, Sans, have you heard from Undyne and Alphys?”

“hmm can’t say that i have.”

Papyrus shifted uncomfortably. “Nyeh, how about the human?”

Sans opened an eye socket at him. “nah. why don’t you call her?”

“That’s a great idea!” Papyrus exclaimed. He pulled out his phone and quickly dialed you.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring- ”Papyrus!! Oh thank god it’s you!”

Papyrus coughed. Your excitement to hear from him was encouraging. “Hello Lori. Yes, it is me. Papyrus. Your date. That you’re supposed to meet…but you are not here? Is everything okay?” There was the sound of a loud commotion in the background.

“No! We got pulled over by a cop!”

“Oh, that’s nice of him! Did he have a present for you?”

Another loud bang. “What?! No, listen, I carpooled with Undyne and Alphys-”

“Oh! One moment,” Papyrus lifted the phone off his head and waved at Sans. “The human is with Alphys and Undyne.”

Sans nodded. “cool. tell them i say hi.”

“Right! Sans says hi!” Another loud bang.

“Hi, yes, fine! We got pulled over for uh, I guess littering? And he was going to give Undyne a ticket but she recognized him from the obstacle course.”

Papyrus frowned. “Well she should know better than to litter. We should always pick up our trash and put it in the dump so other people can go through it!”

“She’s throwing tires at the cop!” You finally yelled

“...Pardon?”

“Undyne said he needs to learn how to dodge since he didn’t dodge the sweater!”

Papyrus sighed. “I-i see. That is bad.” Now there were sirens.

“Exactly!!”

“An officer of peace should be able to dodge a sweater! He most definitely needs this time to practice! I will understand if you are late because you are helping to train him,” Papyrus assuaged you.

Your voice cracked in disbelief. “Late?! Pap, we’re going to go to jail!!” An even louder crash.

“Jail? Eh...will you be able to get out in time to make Frisk’s party?”

“No.” Papyrus began to sweat. “No party means no date.”

“No date?” He echoed.

“Yeah, so we’re just up the street from the beach so if you could-HOLY SHIT, ALPHYS, GET OUT OF THE CAR!” There was an even louder bang and the line went dead.

Papyrus stared at his phone. “Nyeh?” He tried to redial you but it went straight to voicemail. You said that Alphys was there right? He didn’t have her number.

But Mettaton might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure Mettaton will not only be absolutely forthcoming with that info but he will act responsibly and courteous about the whole situation. 
> 
> Anyone got a good second date story?
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/smallpersiankitten/151912614560)
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)


	50. Decapitation is not Sexy (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Shit.  
> We hit 50 chapters. I mean we actually hit 50 chapters. Holy crap. I'm not even 1/3 of the way done with this story but holy shit. 
> 
> You guys have been super supportive, fun and just wonderful with comments and constructive criticism. I am stoked and happy.
> 
> Enjoy an extra long chapter today!! Yay

Papyrus trudged through the sand to the star’s lounge chair which was comfortably seated under a large umbrella. The Monster was flipping through a script of some sort but quickly stashed it as he saw Papyrus approach.

“Hello darling! How are you? Where’s Lori?”

Papyrus scratched his head. “Eh, Hello Mettaton. I am well. That’s part of the reason why I am here. I was wondering if you could call Alphys and find out where she is? Undyne, Alphys and the human all carpooled and now Undyne’s training the police by throwing weapons at them so I wanted to go get Lori before she had to go to jail.”

Mettaton’s display monitor blinked for a moment, as if trying to process this information. “Ah-ah. I see. Um, well, I’ve got my phone built into my body. Just a moment please.” The robot was still for a moment.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring. “He-hello Mettaton!” Alphys voice crackled through.

“Hello sweetheart! Everything alright on your end? It sounds exciting?”

“Uhhh...yeah, you could say that. Eh. Undyne threw the car at the police cruiser!”

“Sounds absolutely smashing! Oh, sorry Paps,” Mettaton quickly apologized as Papyrus groaned at the pun. “Listen, dear, would you mind telling us where you are before they take you to jail?”

“Uh sure. We’re actually just up the street from the meeting point.” There was slightly perturbed laughter. “Did-did you say jail?” she gasped.

Mettaton shrugged. “I’m assuming so. Human police tend to frown upon people throwing cars at their own cars.”

“Oh my gosh!! Lori! Lori, you were right!”

“I fucking told you!”

“What do we do?” Alphys stammered.

Mettaton waved his hands. “Now, now. Just think! Do you know what happens to females when they go to jail?”

“Uh...they have to share a toilet?” Alphys suggested.

“No. They get to shower together!” Mettaton answered suggestively.

“What?!”

“Oh yes. I’ve seen it on human programs all the time. You’ll get to see Undyne in the nude,” he prompted. Papyrus blushed a dark orange and quickly looked away.

“But! I’ve already seen her naked!” Alphys protested.

Mettaton leapt up. “HAHAHA!!!! I KNEW IT!!”

“Oh no no no, I mean-!” Alphys attempted to backpedal but Mettaton was having none of it.

“When were you going to tell me, you little sneak?!” he chortled. Papyrus buried his skull in his gloves. The sound of sirens from further up the beach caught his attention and he quickly turned toward the source of the noise. It was not from the telephone.

“Thank you, Mettaton, for your assistance!” He quickly thanked before darting towards the sirens. But Mettaton was too busy giggling and shouting to notice Papyrus’ exit.

~~~~~

“Alphys! Get your girlfriend to stop tossing car parts!” You hollered at the dinosaur. She did not respond and you quickly looked out from the mailbox you were taking cover behind. “Alphys?”

She was shouting into her phone, red faced and sweating. Apparently the destruction and attack on local law enforcement was the farthest thing from her mind. All you could catch was the words “cuddle time” and “appropriate nudity”. You returned to your cover behind the steel mailbox and shook your head.

“What the fuck do I do?”

“Hello human!” Papyrus popped up next to you.

“AHh! Fuck!” You yelped, jumping up again. “Papyrus!”

“Yes, it’s me,” Papyrus smiled. “Ready to be my date now?” He asked eagerly.

You stared at him like he was nuts before glancing back at the carnage. Undyne was in the process of dismantling her own car and tossing it toward the officer who had pulled you over...who was actually now dodging pretty well. Another police cruiser had pulled up. You turned back to Papyrus who watched you expectantly. “I-uh-”

“Oh hang on!” Papyrus barked suddenly. Before you could blink, he had grabbed you and yanked you down to into a kneeling position. Part of a radiator flew through the air shortly where your own head had been moments ago. You felt your pulse shoot up exponentially at the realization that he just saved you from near decapitation. He smiled at you as if he just brushed a piece of lint off your shoulder. “So, as I was saying!”

You didn’t give him a chance to finish. You tackled him all the way to the ground in an immediate hug. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you!” You squealed into his neck.

“Nyeh heh heh, you’re welcome!” Papyrus grinned triumphantly, enjoying the unexpected attention you had bestowed upon him. Unfortunately, even he knew it was probably not completely safe here as he spied part of a brake pad skid to the right of him. “Eh, human, perhaps we should go join the party?” he asked, trying to quell the blush that was threatening to erupt on his cheek bones.

You laughed awkwardly as you sat up. “Yeah, shit, you’re right. Maniac monster on the loose. Uh, wait, shouldn’t we try to get Alphys and Undyne to come with us?” You asked, gesturing behind you. Alphys was still yelling on her phone. A superior officer had pulled up now and watched as Undyne shouted encouragement to the still dodging officer.

Papyrus shook his head. “No, I think they’ll be alright. Undyne and Alphys are very skilled. But I’ll check.” He cupped his gloves and shouted over to the manical Undyne. “Hello Undyne! Do you need any assistance?”

“Nah! I got this! He’s getting really good at dodging! I’ll catch you guys later!”

Papyrus nodded. “Thank you! We will see you later.” He held out a hand to you. “Let’s go.” You took the skeleton at his word and allowed him to lead you away from the fight toward the beach.

~~~~~

“Howdy human, my name is Asgore!” A large furred goat monster extended a hand out to you in a gesture of friendship. You shook it and noticed with some trepidation how massive his paw was compared to your hand.

“Hello Asgore, it is very nice to meet you,” you greeted back.

Asgore looked around contently. “It is so nice to meet new people. I hope you have a wonderful time!”

The more feminine of the goat monsters stepped forward at this point. “Greetings, I am Toriel. I am Frisk’s mother. Thank you for coming to his birthday party,” she greeted.

Her paw was also large compared to yours although admittedly not as large as Asgore’s thankfully. But if she wanted to, she could probably crush your hand. “Hello Toriel, it is nice to meet you as well. Thank you for having me here!” You looked around sheepishly. “Er, I did have a present for Frisk, but it was in the car,” you admitted.

Toriel seemed to understand and she smiled knowingly. “Yes, the Captain can get a bit enthusiastic when it comes to training. I’m sure everything will be fine.” Man, everyone was a lot more sure than you that this was all going to be okay now, wasn’t it?

You spotted Frisk running past you with a bucket of sand. Toriel’s mothering must have rubbed off on you because you found yourself asking her, “Do you guys need any sunscreen? I’ve got some in my bag.”

Toriel lit up. “Oh thank you. I admit, it is very difficult to put sunscreen on Frisk without it getting stuck in my fur but he found this spray can that works very well.” She showed you a can of spray sunblock and you nodded approvingly.

“That’s a good one. Well I guess I better go set up my towel and put on my own sunscreen.”

“Sans has saved you a good spot!” Papyrus exclaimed.

“Oh cool!” You once again followed the skeleton and he lead you to a moundy spot in front of two towels. You were about to say thank you but he huffed in irritation. “What’s wrong?”

Papyrus crossed his arms. “Sans said he would stay here and guard the spot! That lazy brother of mine must have wandered off. Please set up while I see if I can find him.”

“Sure, sure, go find him,” you snickered. He darted off as you unrolled your towel and placed it on the towel. Most of the items in your duffel bag seemed to have made it with you. Except your sweater. You cracked a smile at yourself. “Teehee, I’ve got everything sans my sweater,” you chuckled at the word play.

“heh. nice.” That voice was very familiar.

You looked around but could not locate my source. You smirked. “I guess I could say that Papyrus is sans Sans.”

“heh heh heh.” One of the mounds of sand next to you jiggled slightly. You walked over and brushed some the sand off the mound to reveal a pink slipper.

“Hey Sans,” you greeted, “Long time no see. Thanks for holding my spot.”

A skeletal hand dug its way out of the sand and waved at you languidly. “hey kid. no problem.” He pulled himself out all the way and watched as you finished setting up. You stared at him and shivered.

“Holy shit, that’s freaky.”

“what?”

“Sorry, but it’s just so weird watching uhh...sand come out of you…” you bashedly admitted, averting your eyes finally. You literally watched sand pour out of Sans’ eye sockets and skull. It was a bit disconcerting to say the least.

Sans chuckled and tucked his hands into his sweater. “you think i’m doing it on porpoise?”

“No, Sans, no ocean puns.” You groaned, pulling out your sunscreen.

“hey, speaking of the ocean, i think it has a crush on me. it keeps waving at me.”

“Papyrus! I found Sans!” you shouted. Sans snickered.

Mettaton wheeled over to you with some difficulty. Sand did not appear to be as friendly to wheels as concrete was. “Ah, there you are. I’ve got something for you before Pap comes back.” He finally reached you. In one hand he held a black bag, and in the other, a fruity pink cocktail of some kind. You weren’t sure if he could even drink liquids but you opted not to question it.

“What’s in the bag?” you asked curiously, taking it from the robot.

“Just a little something for later tonight. Don’t open it now.” You obliged and placed the unopened bag in your duffel.

“can i open it?” Sans asked.

“No!” Mettaton regained his composure and gave a sly grin. “But you can help me take off her clothes.”

Sans shook his head. “hey buddy, i must still have some sand in my skull here because i almost thought you said something wrong there.” You nodded along with Sans. What the hell was Mettaton doing?

Mettaton rolled closer. “Oh, don’t be coy, I know perfectly well you know how to take her clothes off.” Sans and you both froze. You risked a glance at Sans whose pupils had vanished. His sockets appeared hollow. And you thought it was freaky when there was sand leaking from his skull. The monster noticed Sans’ expression and sighed. “Oh really now? Don’t get so worked up. I most certainly am not judging here. No one’s in a relationship yet so this is all fair and fine by me.” Sans’ expression softened somewhat and his pupils began to reappear. The robot’s monitor glinted knowingly. Besides, I don’t want her naked, darling. You’re wearing your bathing suit underneath, yes?”

You nodded mutely, still not quite having recovered from the robot’s statement. Sans shifted, his smile slowly starting to return to his skull although he still eyed the robot warily. “so why should i help you do this?” he asked.

You started at this line and whirled on him. “You motherfucker, don’t you dare,” you began. Sans held up a hand to you and you crossed your arms.

Mettaton smirked. “I chose the bathing suit for the human. So get her to take off her clothes before Pap comes back, please?”

Sans began to laugh as you blushed darkly. “You both are assholes! I have no intention of taking off my clothes until I’m ready!”

The skeleton gestured to you. “the kid seems pretty shore about this,” he quipped. You groaned at the pun but smiled at him thankfully.

Mettaton glanced behind you and cursed silently. “Well, here comes Papyrus. I really was hoping for a more classy reveal but I suppose you leave me no choice.” He rolled forward and his wheel suddenly shifted unsteadily. “Oh whoopsy! My drink!” he called out as he fake tripped. Before you could move, he tossed the contents of his beverage onto your clothes.

What you thought had been a cool fruity cocktail was actually some form of hot pink tea!! Your eyes bulged at the devious monster. “You son of a-!” You stopped swearing as you realized that your skin was starting to burn and immediately ditched your shorts. You were yanking your soaked t shirt off as Papyrus ran up to you.

“Human! Mettaton! Are you both alright?” he asked, running up to both of you. You did not answer so he looked to Mettaton first who placed a hand to his monitor.

“Oh dear, I’m alright. My treads just slipped on some sand is all.” Mettaton assured the taller skeleton gracefully.

“Who the fuck brings tea to the beach?!?!” Papyrus, Sans and Mettaton looked in your direction and froze. You tossed your t-shirt to the ground and scowled at it before realizing it was awfully quiet. You looked at the monsters. “Uh…”

Mettaton stuck out his hand dramatically. “The human and I went shopping together and thanks to my expertise, I feel I have chosen the perfect bathing suit for her. She is absolutely fabulous in that.”

You looked down at and resisted the urge to cover yourself. Mettaton had actually not chosen anything too revealing. The bottom part of your bathing suit was some type of shorts that extended slightly above your midthigh. The top part of your bathing suit was a bikini halter top. Yes, it did draw your breasts together in a more flattering way, but it wasn’t too crazy. The girls were actually pretty secure in this top and you weren’t worried about one of them slipping out to say hello if you ran or swam.

You knew there were other humans on the beach, some in fact very close by, that were wearing far less clothing than you...so why were the skelebros staring at you so intently? Well maybe not both brothers. Sans had a huge grin on his skull that suggested trouble...but Papyrus was almost hypnotized by your appearance. Mettaton leaned over to the taller skeleton brother and elbowed him gently. “What do YOU think about the outfit, Papyrus?”

“Uh, well, I…”

Mettaton leaned in closer. “I especially like the color, don’t you?” Papyrus blushed and nodded.

Color? What the fuck was he going on about? You cocked your head inquisitively at Mettaton. What was so weird about wearing an orange bathing suit? You were about to question what he meant by that when you caught Papyrus’ eye. Just one eye? Yes, his left pupil had vanished and his right one was transfixed on you. His right, brightly burning...orange pupil.

Shit.

Mettaton gave Papyrus a forceful shove in your direction. “Go on and tell her how much you like it darling! Don’t be rude. I’ll just be heading back to my chair now and leave you two alone,” he called as he wheeled away. Just us two? You looked. Sans had vanished. You turned back toward Papyrus and nearly squeaked in surprise to see he was a lot closer than he was before.

“Uh heh heh, hi Papyrus,” you managed, “Uh, do you like my bathing suit?”

He stepped a bit closer. “Very,” he spoke lowly. You felt your hair standing on end and your skin begin to feel hot. Could it really be from Papyrus? The feeling of the sun on your cheeks brought you back to reality and you jumped.

“Shit, shit! Sunscreen! I’m burning!” You gasped, turning around and quickly grabbing your sunblock. You pulled out the bottle and turned back. “Hey, can you help me put on this -Uh, Papyrus?” You blinked. He was gone. You could faintly hearing Mettaton screaming in frustration.

Well this was an awkward beginning to your sorta date. You began to apply sunscreen as much as you could until you had only your back left. Your t-rex arms just could not reach that center part of your back. You would have said fuck it, but you knew how easily you burned these days since you spent most of your time inside a hospital.

You sighed. “Maybe Toriel will help spray my back.” You began to walk away to hopefully find the large goat monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....Orange is a nice color, right?
> 
> In case anyone wonders what the bathing suit looks like. I based it off of this. [The Suit of Bathing](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=6761229)
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
>   
>   
> 
> 
>  
> 
> [Sexy Bathing Suit](http://ashes-before-flame.tumblr.com/post/158836343019/smallpersiankitten-i-know-its-like-half-the)
> 
>  
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)


	51. MTT Episode 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hello Darlings!  
> I've been told that we have the green light for Episode 2. Of course it was never in any question that we were going to air!  
> Without further ado, Episode 2 of MTT's Forbidden Love!"

“Sir, uh, are you sure we have to do this now?” Burgerpants asked, straining under the weight of a large monitor. 

Mettaton huffed. “Of course we do. Party or not, we really do need to get another episode shot. Now hold that monitor steady so my cast can see me.” Mettaton peered into the screen and cleared his throat. “Hello! I’m so happy that you all managed to make it for this filming. The second episode is always the second most important episode of a new show! So I’m going to need you to be even more amazing than you have been!” 

A raucous cheering erupted from the cast and if Mettaton had lips, he would have smiled. “I love the enthusiasm!” 

*Scene opens up to a cute little apartment, decked out in the finest in MTT brand merchandise. Catty (Laura) is busily brushing her fur*

Catty (Laura): Golly! What a big day ahead of me! I better make sure I look my best with my MTT brush, now optimized to comb even the most ragged of furs into silky smooth finery with its advancements in bristle technology! 

*Camera zooms in on brush and holds the shot for an uncomfortable 5 seconds before zooming back to the rest of the scene which shows Catty stuffing an egg timer, a towel and 6 pairs of socks into a duffel bag.*

Catty (Laura): Now that I got all my medical supplies, I better drive to the fancy client place! 

*Scene changes to a hastily put together set of an outdoor track field. Various staff members are quickly carrying plastic trees and bushes and hurdles onto set. An actual fire is started in the corner of the set and the crew becomes concerned but Mettaton shouts to keep it in for realism*

Snowdin Shop Keep (SSK for short): *steps out along with Scarf Mouse who has swapped out their sweater for an oversized lab coat will be* Hello, I am Undino the-

Mettaton: Deeper!

SSK (Undino): Uh, *lowers voice* Hey uh, dorks? Yeah. I’m the Captain here and I’m super angry and excited all the time!

Scarf Mouse (Alphine): And I’m scientist Alphine who studies science things to make fabulous people more fabulous! 

Catty (Laura): Oh! Hi! I am the human nurse who treats pets and I’m here as a human nurse to treat monsters!

SSK (Undino): Awesome! I will go get my troops. But don’t expect me to treat you with kindness! I like to get mad at guests especially when my girlfriend has her super cool friend over who tries to redecorate my place out of the goodness of his heart but she doesn’t appreciate his niceness! 

*Burgerpants mumbles something like “Really?” Mettaton ignores him and gestures for the scene to continue*

Bleu (Palantino): *Walks on screen* Oh hello human nurse Laura! It is so good to see you again! 

Catty (Laura): Hello there Monster Guard in Training! Yes I am here and am here to do medicine things! 

*Light from above suddenly drops and crashes right next to Bleu (Palantino). The monster is immediately startled and falls to the ground. Everyone looks genuially concerned.*

Catty (Laura): Like, oh my god, are you actually okay?? *Runs to Bleu (Palantino) and begins to touch and lift his hands* Did you like break anything? 

Bleu (Palantino): I-I think so. I mean, uh, I don’t think I broke anything. Wow, that was really scary.

Catty (Laura): *puts head against his chest* Well you sound okay, but I guess being in our work is hazardous or something. We gotta look out for each other!

Bleu (Palantino): *blushes slightly at the contact.* O-oh. Thank you. That is really nice of you. 

Catty (Laura) *Realizes she’s been pressing her head against his chest for almost a minute now and immediately backs off* Uh! Yeah! I mean, yes, I do nurse things! 

Bleu (Palantino): *Gets to feet* And I do soldier things and am totally fine! 

SSK (Undino): *Returns with various MTT members dressed as white fluffy dogs, including Annoying Dog who is dressed as a dog.* Alright, so here’s the group. Go ahead and get vials…uh vitals.

*Catty (Laura) proceeds to pull out whatever she brought with her to try and medically evaluate the “patient”. The towel is used to measure heat-to-sweat ratio, the egg timer to listen for sound frequency impairment by shaking it in front of a patient. And the socks serve as ear warmers for staff members’ whose costumes are starting to fall apart. The words “DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME” flash on the bottom of the screen the entire time*

Catty (Laura): Wow, that was like really hard, guess I better go to my date now! *Another crash can be heard from off stage*

Bleu (Palantino): Oh, uh…looks like another light fell and crashed your car prop, I mean, looks like your car broke.

Catty (Laura): Oh no! How will I ever find true love and/or happiness?

Bleu (Palantino): I can take you!

Scarf Mouse (Alphine): Uh…your car prop got smashed too…

Bleu (Palantino): Uh…

*A small red toy car is rolled on to set. All the actors stare at it for a moment before Bleu (Palantino) hesitantly picks it up. He sticks his finger in from below so it is in the driver’s seat.*

Bleu (Palantino): Ah. Go ahead and get in?

Catty (Laura): Right… *She comes up and puts one of her fingers in the passenger seat. So now there is a toy car with two fingers in each seat. The camera mercifully zooms in on the car as Bleu and Catty proceed to walk around with the car held high in the air*

Bleu (Palantino): *makes car noises*

*The camera follows the car as it whirls around in the air and then finally zooms out to reveal a restaurant setting. Catty (Laura) pulls her finger out of the toy car.*

Catty (Laura): Well thanks for the…ride? Whoops! Dropped my wallet! *Tosses wallet off set*

Bleu (Palantino): I guess I’ll go get it then? Uh, call me?

Catty (Laura): Sure thing! Now where’s my da-da-date?!

*Camera pans to show Jimmy Hotpants standing up from a table for two. He looks incredibly uncomfortable and keeps scratching at the shirt that barely fits him. He waves at Catty (Laura).*

Jimmy (Jimmy): Hi, I’m…Jimmy. Your date?

Catty (Laura): *Slackjawed*

Jimmy (Jimmy): Are you Laura?

Catty (Laura): *Still slackjawed*

Jimmy (Jimmy): Uh. *Looks offstage to set crew who shrug* Do you want to sit down?

Catty (Laura): Are you talking to me?

Jimmy (Jimmy): Yes?

Catty (Laura): *Fucking squeals and pulls out cell phone* Ohmygod! Bratty! My date is hot!!!

Bratty: *On other line* Like how hot? Hang on, I’ll come over from backstage.

Jimmy (Jimmy): Actually, I am pretty hot. I’m not used to this warmer weather we have. Mind if I take off my shirt?

Catty (Laura) *Shakes her head*

Jimmy (Jimmy): *Removes shirt, revealing a well muscled furry body.* Thanks this is much better. 

Catty (Laura) and Bratty (She is offstage): AHHHHHHHH!

Jimmy (Jimmy): Uh, so, do you like food? Huh? *Someone whispers to him from backstage* I’m supposed to act how? Really, uh okay. I’ll try. 

Catty (Laura): Oh, wow, Sorry, not sure what came over me. *hangs up phone*

Jimmy (Jimmy): *takes deep breath and flashes a white sharp smile* Hello, I’m Jimmy, and I know what I want, when I want it. And I want you.

Catty (Laura): *Fucking dies*

Females on set: *Fucking die as well*

Catty (Laura): *Revives* Oh wow, uh, wow, uh…wow. I guess we can order. Can I get a glamburger?

Jimmy (Jimmy): Don’t worry, pretty kitty. I already ordered us a pile of onion rings.

Catty (Laura): Onion rings? Uhhh, well, I really wanted a glamburger…Did you say I was pretty?

Jimmy (Jimmy): No, I said you were a goddess.

Catty (Laura): Oh wow!! I guess that’s okay just ah ask me next time okay?

Jimmy (Jimmy): Sure! But I probably won’t ask you. 

Catty (Laura): *Watches him flex. Slowly lifts up her phone to take a photo*

Jimmy (Jimmy): Nailed it! *Gets up and leaves table*

Catty (Laura): *Comes back to Earth* Wow, what a hunky monkey! I guess I better get home. Oh, there’s my door! 

*Lights on set darken until there is only minimal light. A fake door is illuminated. Catty (Laura) begins to walk toward it. Then she hears banging behind her.*

Catty (Laura): Eek!

Bratty (from offstage): Run Catt-er Laura run!

*Cues dramatic music as Catty runs to door. Which is very short because she’s only a few feet away from the door to begin with*

Catty (Laura): I made it! 

Bleu (Palantino): *Walks up* Hey, I found your wallet back there!

Catty (Laura): Ahh!! *Pulls out pepper spray prop and pretends to spray, only for it to actually spray real pepper spray*

Bleu (Palantino): OW OW OW OW!!! Oh man! This BURNS!!

Catty (Laura): OH MY GOD!!! Quick, like someone call a doctor or something!!

Mettaton: And Scene! 

Mettaton proudly watched through the monitor as Catty practically dragged a crying Bleu off stage in search of water or milk. “That even better than the first one! More drama! More action! More romance!” 

Burgerpants stared in horror at Mettaton. “You got the Ice Wolf?” 

“He prefers to be called Jimmy Hotpants,” Mettaton reminded as he poured himself a cup of steaming tea. 

“I-uh, but with Catty, she-“

“She is playing her part very well as an actress,” Mettaton praised. 

Burgerpants looked unconvinced. “That was acting? So she may not actually like him?”

“Oh, I’m sure she likes him. What woman wouldn’t? He’s an Adonis among Monsters!” Mettaton almost swooned. Burgerpants gritted his teeth and said nothing. 

“Napstablook, how many viewers did we get this time.”

“It was 16 but now it’s up…76?”

Mettaton’s monitor glimmered. “Wonderful!!” 

“Uh huh…looks like it went really high when Jimmy went on.” 

“Wonderful. Burgerpants, take notes! This is just the beginning of success!” Mettaton quickly grabbed a pile of papers. “Quick, let’s go through this next script before we get distracted again!” 

Burgerpants looked up and quickly tossed the monitor to the ground. “Mettaton, look, it’s Papyrus!” 

Mettaton looked up to see Papyrus fast approaching and immediately tossed the papers to the side. He immediately wheeled out to greet Papyrus. “Hello darling! How are you? Where’s Lori?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Date shall continue this week, but Mettaton comes first when it comes to presentation! 
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)


	52. It's Still a Friendly Competition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The date continues.  
> Remember that ~~~~~ = scene/POV change. Got it? Good. :D
> 
> More pics! Of bathing suits! An a reader in them!! Again, the marvelous Zully has drawn two different styles so I have put them both here. Go check em out!  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)
> 
> Now onto the next Chapter.

Papyrus crouched down on the other side of the lifeguard building with both of his hands on his skull. His chest was pounding and he could feel his eye throbbing uncontrollably as the image of you in a bathing suit kept emerging despite his best efforts to think of anything else. It was a nice bathing suit. And it wasn’t covering less than what he had seen on other female humans when he got here. So why had he reacted like that...and why had he run away?

“It’s just her in a bathing suit,” he told himself, “Yes, that’s it. A bathing suit. The color of which just happens to match my magic...oh boy.” That wasn’t helping quell his pulsating magic. Why had he run away again? Papyrus remembered he had actually been approaching you at first when his magic first flared up. He was more than ready to do...er...something with you at that point. He honestly wasn’t sure what he intended to do. 

The image of you squirming and covered in dripping orange magic shot forward unbidden and he visibly gasped. “THAT IS NOT HELPING!” He scolded his magic as he saw the tips of his gloves having a faint orange glow to them. No doubt his skeletal fingers were just blazing underneath. Why would he even imagine you like that? The very thought seemed rather lewd yet he couldn't help but shudder at the possibility. Maybe you'd even say his name while you were like that. "OH MY GOD, THAT IS REALLY NOT HELPING!" He shouted at his non corporeal magic that was really starting to act up unbidden. Ordinarily, this slight loss of control would have alarmed him but he was too distracted to pay it much thought. 

You being like...THAT. Well, THAT did not happen. Whatever THAT was...What had happened after he approached you? For a moment he drew a blank but then he remembered. You had turned around and whatever resolve his magic had provided him evaporated and now here he was still hiding out behind the lifeguard hut. No. Not hiding! Papyrus didn’t hide. He was scoping out a potential strategy plan. 

“hey pap, why you hiding behind the lifeguard hut?” Sans asked as he walked over to his brother. 

Papyrus stiffened and stood up. “Nyeh heh heh. I am most certainly not hiding. The Great Papyrus does not hide! I am here, eh, strategizing! That’s it!” 

Sans smiled broadly. “that’s a good idea. water you strategizing about?” 

Papyrus opened his mouth but paused to glare at Sans. Did he just make a pun? Sans’ countenance did not change so he continued. “I’m trying to come up with a strategy for how to interact with the human in a bathing suit. I did not plan for it,” he admitted. 

“are you shore that’s a good idea?” 

Now he was sure Sans was telling awful jokes. “Sans, no.” 

“heh, i guess you’re starting to sea what i did there?” 

“Sans! I swear to God!” Papyrus stomped angrily.

“huh, looks like your pupil is gone,” Sans noted casually, shaking sand out of his slipper. 

“Really?” Papyrus felt his face. The throbbing was gone. The magic was silent now. He looked over gratefully at Sans. “Ah, thank you Sans. That was a job whale done,” he winked.

Sans smirked. “you’re thanking me like i did it on porpoise.” 

“Alright, that’s enough now.” 

Sans waved his hand. “just out of curiosity, do you have a strategy if another human starts to touch her?”

“I’m sorry?” His brother gestured behind him and Papyrus peered in the direction. He gritted his teeth. “Nyeh!” He gritted his teeth and darted back toward the monsters. 

~~~~~

It was a really nice day as you walked toward where Toriel hopefully was. The ocean was very soothing and even though the beach was crowded, you didn’t feel overwhelmed. It was actually quite peaceful...minus the whole police thing just up the street. “I probably should enjoy the peace for now. Just for a minute or two,” you sighed, stopping in your tracks. You faced the ocean and shut your eyes, breathing in the salt air. All was calm. 

Until someone ran smack into you and you nearly faceplanted in the sand. You quickly recovered from the blow and turned to give someone a piece of your mind. “Hey! Watch where you’re-you’re...Jeremy?” 

“Wow! It’s you!” Yes, it was Jeremy. Shirtless Jeremy. Very shirtless Jeremy. With abs and a beefy sweaty chest you couldn’t help but notice. 

You caught your breath and smiled at him. “Hey Jeremy. Yeah it’s me. What are you doing here?” You asked. 

Jeremy stretched. “Oh! I like to come out on the beach every Tuesday and Friday. I try to do a 12 mile run by the water. It’s so nice plus the sand provides good resistance for my calves,” he explained, gesturing to his rock solid calves. 

You snorted. “You fucking show off.” He laughed.

“What about you? What are you doing here?” 

You gestured to the monster gathering. “Oh! I’ve been invited to a birthday party as Pap’s date! We were just setting up.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened as he looked at the monsters. “Oh wow! Is that the king over there? Man, he’s so much bigger and scarier than in the papers!” he gaped. 

“He’s actually really really nice. Did you want to meet him?” You asked. 

Jeremy nodded. “That would be awesome! Do I need to schedule an audience or something?” 

“I don’t think so. I think we can just walk up and say hi.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” Jeremy followed you as you walked toward the monsters. “Hey, by the way...you look really good. I’m glad you didn’t go with black. You look way better in bright colors!” He complimented. 

“Thanks, I was a bit nervous wearing this but so far everyone seems to like it. Oh here we are.”

Asgore looked up from the book he was reading as he heard your voice and stood up. “Howdy again. I see you have another human with you.” 

“Howdy Asgore,” you couldn’t help but repeat, “This is my friend Jeremy. He and I knew each other when we were younger.” 

Asgore smiled gently and stuck out a paw which Jeremy eyed carefully. “Hello Jeremy. Do not be afraid. I do not bite.” 

Jeremy waved his hands. “Oh no no, I wasn’t worried about that. I was just checking for whoopie cushions!” The explanation made the king roar with laughter. 

“Hahaha, well I see he has already met Sans. Sans is quite the comedian. No, I do not have any whoopie cushions tucked away in my fur.” Jeremy gratefully shook his hand at the admission. 

“Say Asgore, you wouldn’t know where Toriel is, would you?” You asked. 

Asgore shook his head. “I’m afraid not. Is it something urgent?”

“Oh no no. I just wanted to borrow her spray sunscreen because I can’t reach my back with my own sunblock,” you admitted shyly.

Jeremy jumped up. “Hey! If you don’t mind letting me have some sunblock, I’ll help you do your back. Here, squirt some into my hand.” 

“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea. Sure thing!” You gave him a squirt and he quickly reapplied sunblock to himself. Now the well muscled man was glistening. Damn. He gestured for you to turn around. 

“Good timing, you are starting to get burned a little. Just a moment,” Jeremy informed you. You jumped slightly at the feeling of the cold sunscreen on your back before you desensitized yourself to it. Jeremy began to massage the lotion into your back and you fought the urge to purr. “So your majesty, how are you liking the surface?”

“Oh please, Asgore is fine. The surface is quite lovely. I do enjoy watching the sunrise most. Plus human have many types of tea that I have never heard of before, so it is very nice to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea.” 

Jeremy smiled. “That sounds amazing. Are you guys having a party right now?” This lotion application was turning into a gentle massage...not that you had any problem with that. You’re sure that you made many knots in your back what with Undyne taunting the police. 

Asgore nodded. “Frisk, the human child, has turned 10 last week. Mettaton organized this surprise birthday party for him as we were unable to celebrate much when he actually turned 10.” The king smiled. “Would you like to stay for a bit and help us celebrate?”

You were about to speak up when you felt Jeremy focus on a particular nasty knot in your lumbar muscle and you hummed happily. “I wouldn’t want to intrude,” Jeremy admitted.

“Nonsense! There are more guests coming! The more, the merrier,” Asgore protested. 

“Well if you insist! I’ll teach you some cool beach games. Have you ever been body boarding?” 

“I don’t believe so.” 

“Oh you’d be good at that.” He paused and tapped you. 

“Hmm?” 

“Enjoying yourself there?”

“Oh yeah.” 

“Cool, cool. Uh, do you mind if I lift up the strap so I can put some lotion there too?” You hesitated. Jeremy sensed your hesitation and persisted. “My mom would always get sunburned there because she would forget to put sunblock underneath the cloth so I would do it for her.”

You snickered. “Ooh, that makes it much more creepy now. Alright then, my darling son, go ahead.” 

Jeremy sighed. “You just made this really weird,” he grumbled as he applied the sunscreen. He lingered slightly at the knot holding your halter top up and he began to trace circles downward. “You know, for our third date, do you think you might want to wear something like this?” He whispered. 

You turned to face him and looked inquisitively at him. “Huh? Like a bathing suit to the bowling alley? Seems a bit uh, not appropriate.”

“Not quite what I meant,” he smirked and extended a hand in an attempt to hold yours. He had just about placed his fingers on your wrist when your other arm was suddenly jerked backwards. 

“Shit!” You squeaked, losing your balance and thankfully landing against something solid. A hand closed over your wrist protectively and you looked at it confusion. It wore a red glove. You looked up in bewilderment and gaped. “Papyrus?” 

The normally cheery skeleton had literally pulled you out your conversation with Jeremy and held your wrist tightly. The sudden forceful action appeared to have also caught him off guard because he blinked in surprise and stared down at you. “Oh hello there!” 

You bit your lip. “Uh, hi Papyrus?” He nodded and spotted Jeremy. 

“Hello human friend! Are you enjoying the beach today?” He asked cheerfully.

Jeremy nodded. “Hey, uh yeah, it’s pretty good.” The human male paused. “Uh, hey, did you need to talk to her?”

“Excuse me?” Papyrus cocked his head. You sighed and wiggled your restrained arm, catching his attention. His grip loosened, but he did not let go. “OH! Yes! I came here to tell you that you forgot your sunglasses in my car!” 

You blinked. “I did?” You asked. What was he talking about?

Asgore pointed to your head. “She seems to already have a pair on her head,” he pointed out. Sure enough, you had a pair of sunglasses resting comfortably on top of your head. 

Papyrus hesitated. “Ah yes, she does...what I meant to say was that I was missing my sunglasses! And I need her to come with me to get them,” he recovered. You studied his face. Why was he acting so weird?

“Oh, I’ll come with you guys then,” Jeremy offered.

“NO!” Papyrus coughed and lowered his voice, “I mean, eh, nyeh heh, that shall not be necessary. I shall accompany the human. Alone. Thank you for the offer.” Your eyes narrowed at Papyrus. Ohhhhh. So that’s what was going on. Could the Great Papyrus be...jealous?

You didn’t have long to contemplate this new information before the skeleton almost yanked you off your feet to follow him. You shot a departing look at Jeremy before quickly catching up to Pap. You swung your arm lazily, throwing his steadfast march off slightly. Guess it was a good of time as any to start asking questions. “You know,” you began, “I didn’t think skeletons needed sunglasses such they don’t have eyeballs.” 

Papyrus’ pace faltered slightly for a moment but he continued walking. He was silent. You tried again. “Are you sure that there are sunglasses in your car?” Papyrus didn't make eye contact. 

You opted to wait until you were out of eyesight from the rest of the group before speaking again. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were using sunglasses as an excuse to get me alone.” Papyrus stopped dead in his tracks. You placed yourself in front of him and looked into his face. “What’s going on?”

Papyrus hesitated but finally let out a sigh. Again, do skeletons need oxygen? The world may never know. “Uh, I saw the other human eh, touching you.” He released your arm to scratch his skull as you felt yourself blush on your face. He explained, “I felt...weird. But not the same weird as I have felt lately. It was a different type of weird. Like almost being upset but there was no need to be upset because he was not hurting you. He was just touching you.” The last part came out a little strained as Papyrus looked at you, a slight orange blush lighting up his cheekbones. 

You smile softened. Do you tell him that he is jealous? You opted against. “Papyrus-”

Papyrus put up a hand. “I’m very sorry but could you perhaps tell me why was he touching you?” 

Alright, now you started to giggle which made Papyrus flinch. Oops. Better not do that again. You cleared your throat and smiled gently. “So when humans go out into the sun, they can tan, which basically means their skin can get darker. But their skin needs protection against the sun otherwise our skin will burn, which is why we use sunblock.” You held up the tube of sunscreen which Papyrus took from you and studied. 

“Interesting. It does not appear large enough to cover your body though,” he admitted. 

“Oh! Uh, this is only the container that holds the protection.” You opened the bottle and squirted a teaspoon onto your hand. “So this is sunblock. You’re supposed to apply it to any place that shows skin to keep the sun from burning you.” Papyrus poke the small white blob in your hand curiously. “It’s like liquid armor,” you emphasized as you spread the white blob around the palm of your hand until it was mostly gone. 

This revelation immediately psyched Papyrus and he jumped up and down excitedly. “WOWIE! That is very neat!” 

“It only works for the sun!!” You quickly added as Papyrus scooped up the remaining white liquid and squished it between his gloves intently. 

“It is very cool still,” Papyrus continued. 

You sighed. Now here came the weird part. “So yeah, the reason he was touching me,” Papyrus seemed to tense up again at this part, “was to put this stuff on my back.” He cocked his head at you quizzically and you demonstrated your inability to reach the center of your back. “I can’t reach my back that well so I need another person to help me,” You explained.

Papyrus smiled. “Well, that was very nice of him. I am glad he was protecting you from the sun. I would be very sad if you got burned.” Papyrus was much more visibly relaxed than he had been a few minutes ago. You were honestly touched. Did your safety really trump any jealous feelings he may/may not realize he has?

You looked up at him incredulously. “You really care about me, don’t you?” Papyrus stopped jumping excitedly and gave you an odd look. 

“Of course!” He explained matter of factly. He squinted ahead and began walking forward once more. “Oh! There’s my car. Come, we are almost there and then we can head back to the party.” You nodded and walked along side him again. “Oh, Lori” he interrupted, still managing to keep the pace, “please let me know if you need help applying the sun protectant next time. I am not human, but I would have been glad to have helped if I had known.”

Your eyes glinted mischievously as Mettaton’s “words of wisdom” flashed upon your mind. Maybe it was time to put those ninja touches to work. “Oh! Funny you should say that!” You began as your hand sneaked its way back into Papyrus’ grasp. “When I took off my clothes, I was actually going to see if you would do my sunscreen for me but you kinda ran away,” you laughed. He looked rather nervous. 

“Ah, yes, well, I didn’t really know, you’re very different in a bathing suit,” he tried to explain, “And seeing that it’s uh orange, was…exciting?”

“Exciting?” You asked.

“Not exciting, I mean. Just you..nyeh,” his voice trailed off uncomfortably and you swore you could hear the words, “marinated in orange” but you had no fucking clue what he was talking about. Maybe the sun was hitting him harder than you thought?

You smiled and pressed yourself gently against his arm. “Well, I will need to reapply the liquid armor again today. Maybe you could help me then? I still can’t reach my back.”

Papyrus brightened at this. “Absolutely! I would be more than glad to!” 

You lowered your eyelids slightly. “And if you’re really good at it, I’ll let you help me put it on other parts of my body.” The skeleton monster appeared befuddled until you allowed your breasts to gently brush against his forearm. The response was immediate as he completely stiffened and stopped moving. You spotted the car and yet another awful idea struck you. 

Before he could recover, you bolted towards the direction of the car. He stared in shock after you, not moving. You hollered as you ran. “You’ve fallen for my trap!!”

Papyrus’ sockets widened. “Trap?!” 

“I’M GOING TO BEAT YOU TO THE CAR!!” You gloated as you advanced your head start

“NO! THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL NOT BE JAPED!” The skeleton monster declared and he took off after you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's get this party started. :D
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! This is starting to get rather long!! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)


	53. Bodyboarding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go. I managed to get out two chapters this holiday weekend! 
> 
> Btw, last chapter, a lot of you guys in the comments section were pretty goddamn funny. Remember, I read all comments and respond to pretty much every one of them. I'm grateful for all your feedback and sincerely hope I can keep this story up to your expectations. :D
> 
> Thanks and let's keep the date going!

Your jaw hung open pathetically as you stared at Papyrus. No, really. You were truly speechless as you stared at Papyrus. He spotted your agape mouth and grinned. “Speechless I see? That’s only natural. Although it may seem impossible, these sunglasses make me even cooler than I already am,” he explained as he posed in his sport sunglasses. 

You were on a date with a skeleton and he was wearing sunglasses. Really, what could you say? You nodded wordlessly. You began to walk back toward where the rest of the monsters were when the sound of approaching sirens made you stop in your tracks. Had the cops found you?! “Shit.”

“Language!” Papyrus corrected. He saw your panicked expression. “What is the matter? Is something wrong?”

“It’s the police!” You gasped. A cruiser was barreling over the sand and was seemingly heading toward your general direction. 

“Oh! Wonderful! Let’s go say hi!” Papyrus cheered, taking a step forward. 

“No, wait!” You quickly yanked him back.

“Why?”

“They might be looking for me!” 

“All the more reason to go to them!” Papyrus insisted. 

The cruiser came closer and you decided to bolt. Unfortunately, Papyrus must have anticipated this move because he grabbed your arm and held you fast. “They’re going to arrest me!” You whined. 

Papyrus shook his head. “Nonsense! We’ll just explain it was a training exercise,” he assured you as he flagged the cruiser. 

You dug your heels into the sand but Papyrus was stronger and continued to pull until you threatened to fall. The next thing you knew, he had scooped you around the waist and carried you like a piece of luggage. “Let me go! They won’t believe us!”

“Of course they will!” 

It was too late to run now. Papyrus had been successful in flagging down the cruiser and it slowly pulled up alongside you before coming to a complete stop. You gulped. Well fuck. This was it. The back door opened and to your surprise, Undyne and Alphys leapt out. Undyne looked absolutely elated while Alphys was still very anxious. “Bye punks!” Undyne waved as the cop car then proceeded to drive away. 

“We’re not going to jail?” You asked incredulously. 

Undyne laughed. “No way! The back up that the police man called ended up being the chief. He was also not impressed with his officer’s dodging ability and had me throw more obstacles at the guy until he improved.” 

“Ah. I did not realize our police chief was a sadist.”

“He feels that Undyne’s methods are ideal, yes,” Alphys admitted. 

“You guys are still standing there?! Come on! We’ve got a party to go to!” Undyne hollered as she marched toward the monsters. Alphys scurried after her, leaving you and Papyrus alone. Which reminded you. 

“Uh, Papyrus?” 

“Yes?”

“You can put me down.” Papyrus blinked in surprise.

“Oh right...are you sure?”

“Yes, cops are gone. I’m not going to run away anymore.” 

“Very well.” Papyrus placed you gently back on the ground and you both walked after the two monsters. But not too fast. You saw Papyrus’ hand dangling all by itself and you nonchalantly placed your own hand into it. You pretended not to the notice the surprise and ultimately delighted expression that grew on the skeleton’s face at your action. 

By the time you had caught up, you were in for a surprise of your own. Undyne and Jeremy had not only apparently met but appeared to be engaged in some form of wrestling fight. You blinked in surprise and spotted Alphys who watched everything calmly. “You guys only had a 30 second headstart. How did you guys manage to pick a fight in that amount of time?”

Alphys shook her head. “Uh, Undyne found the human forcing Asgore to kneel. She then wanted to fight him and now here we are.”

You looked at Asgore who was laughing. “Your friend was trying to show me the correct position to body board and I’m afraid Undyne thought he was challenging me when she saw me lying on the ground.”

“She knows that’s not the case now, right?” You asked hesitantly as you watched Undyne begin to lift a startled Jeremy. 

“Hmm. Oh yes. Now she just wants to fight him because she can.” 

Makes sense. It was impressive to watch the two well-muscled combatants fight until finally Undyne tossed Jeremy to the ground. You made a move to help your friend but he was already laughing and standing up. “Man, I haven’t been tossed in a while,” he grinned, extending a hand, “You’re really good.” 

Undyne shook the hand and helped him up. “Thanks, you were pretty good yourself. You ever think about running an obstacle course?” 

“Uh…”

You quickly stepped in. “Well now that we’re all here, I’d say we should actually go into the water!” 

Asgore beamed. “What a wonderful idea!” 

Alphys sweated. “Uh, actually, I was thinking about lying here...maybe read a book...or manga...and eat some chips?” 

Undyne spotted the dogs. “I’ll come in a second. Let me just see what the guards are up to.” Which most likely translated to - Let me make sure they’re not getting into trouble. 

You shrugged. “Well I guess it’s just us then. Let’s go! Come on, Pap!” You eagerly tugged the skeleton after Asgore and Jeremy who practically skipping toward the water. Papyrus seemed awfully quiet. You turned and looked at him curiously. “Papyrus, everything okay? Do you not like the ocean?”

Papyrus puffed out his chest and laughed. “Everything is fine, human! Of course skeletons love the ocean. Why our love for the ocean was so legendary that humans put selfies of us on their flags for good luck as they sailed all around the world!” 

You laughed. “Okay, okay. Got it. Sorry, I thought you were worried or something! Alright, let’s go!” 

“Nyeh heh heh, yes, let’s,” he agreed nervously as he followed you toward the ocean. 

~~~~~  
“Alright, so you hold your hands out like this and slightly lean forward-yeah-like that,” Jeremy instructed. The Monster King did his best to assume the position the human asked of him with a smile. “It’s like surfing but without the board,” he offered.

“I see. Perhaps it would help if I knew what surfing but I think I understand,” Asgore nodded.

“You can do it, your majesty!” Papyrus cheered. 

“Ride them waves!” You yelled. As the king prepared himself for an oncoming wave, you tapped Papyrus. “It’s really nice of you to hang out in the shallow part of the ocean since I’m short,” you thanked. 

Papyrus nodded. “Of course! Think nothing of it!” 

You bit your lip. “But, you know, we can go deeper. I can tread water pretty well so you don’t need to worry if I can’t touch the ground.” Indeed, the water was only up to your knees. You had been in much deeper water before. 

Papyrus’ grin faltered slightly. “Ah, well…I really don’t mind being in the shallow water,” he insisted.

“Oh okay.” You were slightly disappointed but you made sure to smile when Papyrus glanced at you. If Papyrus was that athletic on land, you had no doubt he’d be spectacular in the water. You looked out toward the sea and jumped. “Incoming!” You shouted, leaping to the side. Papyrus barely had time to dodge as well as Asgore came body boarding where you had been moments before. You watched giddily as he coasted to a stop at the shore and stood up with belly shaking laugh. 

“That was so much fun! I would love to try it again!” 

“Hey Lori! Come on! Your turn! The waves are getting good!” Jeremy called to you. 

Who were you to resist good waves? You began to trudge deeper in the water. “Where are you going?” You heard Papyrus call. You turned around and continued walking backwards, waving. 

“Hey Pap! I’m going to try to catch a wave! If I’m lucky, I’ll be right back!” You winked, seeing how far Asgore had been carried by the wave. You started to feel the ground disappear beneath as you swam towards the open sea, forcing you to start kicking your legs. 

Papyrus sounded so far away and you couldn’t help but look behind you once more as you got farther out. Wow. Even though you hadn’t swam that long, the shore already looked pretty far away. Youwatched the beach. It appeared that Undyne and the guards were building the base to some large sand castle. Frisk kept running between the castle and his mother who kept offering him water and fruit snacks. Sans was nowhere to be found - most likely sleeping. Alphys had tucked herself under towel, hunched over a book. And Mettaton appeared to be talking to a video camera...that was kinda odd.

You momentarily forgot where you were and tried to put your feet down only to immediately sink under the water. You swam up rather quickly with an undignified sputter and shot a quick glance toward Papyrus to see if he witnessed your oops moment. It looks like he did because he appeared somewhat distressed. Maybe you should head back?

“Awesome! You finally made it!” You turned to see Jeremy paddle over to you. 

“Hey Jer Bear! That was nice of you to show Asgore how to body board,” you thanked. 

He shrugged. “Hey it’s the least I could do after he invited me to the party.” 

You nodded. “That was pretty sweet.” Hey, the more the merrier, right?

Jeremy watched you eagerly. “Do you remember how to body board?”

“Ah, kinda,” you admitted, “it’s been a while since I’ve been to the beach.” 

“Hang there, I’ll come show you too,” He instructed up to you from behind. “Remember, arms out like this,” he guided, pushing your arms out straight, “and stick your butt back.” 

“Ugh, okay. I’m not doing this right,” you groaned, trying to assume the position. Instead you just kind of awkwardly sank and flopped to the side like a dead fish. It was pathetic.

Jeremy slapped his forehead. “You’re trying to make like a curved raft with your body...ugh, hang on. Let me just put you into position.” 

“That would probably be easier.” You agreed. You tread water gently as Jeremy began to lift your legs up backwards and spread them slightly. 

“Keep your chest up,” he ordered as you resisted the urge to flail. He pressed your breasts upward until you were floating like a curved raft. “There, like this.” 

“Hey, sweet, thanks! Here comes a wave.” 

~~~~~

“Hey!” The skeleton monster nearly jumped at his friend’s greeting and he turned to see Undyne glaring at him. 

“Hello, Undyne!” 

“What do you think you’re doing?” She asked.

“Greeting you?” 

“No.” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What did I say about going far out in the water?” 

Papyrus shuffled nervously. The water was close to but not yet touching his hips. “Ah well, I thought I would just soak my bones a bit.”

“Papyrus.”

“Salt water helps bring out the calcium.”

“Papyrus!” 

“Yes, Undyne?” 

She sighed. “Be careful, okay?” Papyrus nodded and saluted, leaving Undyne to return to her makeshift fort and the skeleton monster to return his observations of you. He felt himself tense up as your friend still had his hands on you. Unconsciously he took another step forward and halted. The ground was starting to slope downwards more sharply and was less secure. He untensed as Jeremy released you. The water grazed his hip. 

“Good floating!” he called out as he saw you balancing on the water. You shot Papyrus a triumphant grin as a small wave began to approach. 

“Thank you! Wait there! I’m gonna ride this one to shore!” Papyrus nodded and waited patiently. Sure enough, a small wave soon gently carried you but it petered out quickly, leaving you still some distance away from the skeleton. Nevertheless, he applauded and felt his chest swell as you shot him a pleased grin. 

~~~~~

You laughed at the politeness of his clapping. This was pretty fun. In fact, you were having so much fun that you hardly realized that another wave was coming until you heard Papyrus shout. 

Your initial reaction was to squeal, “YAYYYYYY!!!!” as another wave launched you upwards far more swiftly than the last one did. The joy was short lived as a bump in the wave sent you plummeting face first into the ocean. “SHIT!” You managed to swear before crashed underneath the water. On hindsight, you probably shouldn’t have opened your mouth to swear as it led to you accidentally swallowing a gallon of salty sea water. Ugh! You hated swallowing! Jokes aside, you clawed your way to the surface, coughing and sputtering as you sucked in oxygen. 

“Human!” Papyrus yelled. You didn’t even glance his way as another large wave suddenly loomed over you. Knowing better than to try to fight it, you held your breath and dived. Even under the wave, the water proceeded to toss you around like a ragdoll but this time you kept your eyes shut and your mouth closed. Eventually the forces abated and you swam to the surface with a gasp. 

Well...you were a lot closer to the shore now. You stood, the water now only reaching your abdomen and looked over to where you had been. Jeremy was still floating. He waved at you. “Damn! That was a bad tumble. You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you replied, shaking water out of your ears. Something was wrong. You looked around. “Hey, where’s Pap?” you asked.

Jeremy pointed down as you swam back toward him. “He uh, went down.”

“Down? What do you mean he went down?” 

Jeremy gestured to the water. “When that second wave hit you, he kinda freaked out a bit and ran forward and uh, dropped. Hey…can he swim?”

“I thought so.”

“You sure? Because it looks like he sank.” Your eyes widened at Jeremy's words.

“SANK?! Where?!” He pointed nearby to a spot Papyrus had just been in. You half swam/ran there and almost sank yourself as you felt your toes connect with nothing. The seafloor must have given way when he ran forward. You quickly dove under without another thought, barely catching Jeremy shouting after you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess we'll find out if skeletons need oxygen right?
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! This is starting to get rather long!! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)


	54. That Sinking Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to learn if skeletons need oxygen. Personally, I find them rather breathtaking myself. Ba dum tish.  
> Uh, fuck. Go ahead and enjoy.

One Day Ago...

“Alright troops! Listen up!” Undyne ordered as her guards stood at attention. “There will be no training tomorrow!” There was a round of excited yips and barks. Undyne held up a scaly hand. “But! Frisk is having his birthday party which we are all invited to! So here are the ground rules!” 

“One, do not steal anyone’s beach stuff. No frisbees, no balls, towels. If it’s not yours, leave it!” The dogs nodded understandingly. “Two, no burying the tiny humans! They are still humans, not toys!” Undyne glared at the dogs. “I’m talking to you, Greater Dog.” The large dog monster whined and looked down shamefully as the rest of the dogs shot him dirty looks. There had been an incident last time the dogs had gone to the beach and Frisk had to step in and make peace before the police were called. 

“Lastly, don’t go too far in the sea. If you can’t feel the ground, swim back. Looking at you, Pap.” 

Papyrus blinked in surprise. “Me?”

“Yeah, you’ll sink.” Dogamy mentioned. 

“Why would I sink?” 

Alphys stepped in at this point. “Eh, you do-don’t have enough body mass,” she explained. 

“What if I could swim?” 

“Can you swim?” Dogaressa asked curiously.

“No.” 

“Then yes, you’ll sink.” Undyne facepalmed. “Listen, just try not to go too far out and you’ll be fine.” 

Papyrus sighed. “Okay, okay.” 

“Alright! Now give me 100 jumping jacks!” 

~~~~~

Of course, you knew none of this information as you dove into the water. You desperately searched the murky waters for anything. Something. Nothing. You popped back up above as your lungs burned. “Jeremy! Help me!” you yelled but the man was already diving under to assist. You took another deep breath and dove down after him. More murkiness. Your eyes stung from the sea water but you forced them to remain open. You needed at least to see a sign or a clue or anything! 

A flash of bright red caught your eye and you lunged toward like a fish after bait. Papyrus’ scarf. You followed it and to your relief, found it still attached to Papyrus! The skeleton looked rather confused by this change of events and blinked in surprise as you approached. You seized a hold of one of his hands and tried to pull up...only for him not to budge an inch. His sockets widened as you struggled to lift him and he tapped your arm quickly. He pointed down to his leg and you squinted. Was he stuck?

You held up a hand and resurfaced for air. You quickly grabbed Jeremy before he could dive down again. “He’s here,” you coughed, “I think he’s stuck! I can’t lift him!” 

“Alright! Let’s go!” You both dove down once more and you quickly found Papyrus who waved at you. Jeremy bumped into you and motioned you downwards as he seized the skeleton’s waving hand. Of course. If Pap was stuck, you needed to get him unstuck first. You let out some air to allow yourself to sink even further until you were at his legs. Thick kelp was twisted around his boots and anchored somewhere in the darkness. When the seafloor gave way, so must have some of the debris and kelp. If you could swear, you would have done so at that moment.

Instead, you yanked and tore at the seaweed around his legs as Jeremy began to pull Papyrus out. Your lungs were burning once more but you kept ripping plant material off his legs. You just about freed his legs when you felt a hand grab your arm and attempt to jerk you upwards. You pulled your arm back defiantly even as your whole chest burned from the buildup of carbon dioxide. You weren’t leaving until you had freed Papyrus, even if your vision was starting to darken at the edges. 

You ripped the last piece of kelp off before you realized you were blacking out. Curse your small tidal volume! This time, when you felt your arm grabbed, you didn’t fight it and allowed yourself to be dragged upwards. You choked and coughed as you were brought above water. Jeremy released your arm. “Stay here and don’t drown! I can’t save two people!” he ordered. You could only cough and nod as he dove back under. 

As your mind returned to normal working order with the addition of oxygen, you couldn’t help but remember how heavy Papyrus actually was. Even with the reduced gravity of the water, Jeremy surely would need assistance. And the last time you needed help lifting Papyrus, you had been fortunate to have had help from the fish monster, Undyne. Wait! “Undyne!” You shouted, looking toward the shore. If anyone could help at this point, it was her. Unfortunately, you did not spot her. “Fuck!” You swore and thought about your next move.

Jeremy’s command to stay here...well, you technically if you went back down, you were still here. You just had to not drown is all. You took another shaky breath and dove into the darkness. You spotted both males once more. Jeremy was doing his best to lift Papyrus up from behind. You grabbed Pap’s hands and pulled. Maybe between you both you could do it. 

A powerful force suddenly rocketed through you and with it, a thick cloud of silt. You felt Papyrus slip out of your gasp as you tried to regain your bearings. Holy shit! Holy shit! What was that? Where was up? What was down? Where was Papyrus? You flailed helplessly in the water as the whirlpool of silt disoriented you further. An arm seized you around the abdomen and carried your thrashing form to the surface once more.

You were being dragged to the shore, you realized quickly. You began to fight against your restraint even as your world still spun. “What did I tell you about staying put?!” Jeremy yelled as he swam toward the beach with you in tow.

“No! Wait! What about Papyrus?!” 

“Don’t worry. She’s got him!” 

“She?”

“The crazy fish lady!” Jeremy clarified as he continued to drag you onto the shore. Fish lady? You craned your head around and spotted the guard dogs gathered at the shore. As you could feel the ground materialize under your toes once more, you tried to stand, only to stumble again under Jeremy’s grip. You felt him sigh and scoop you up despite your attempts to stand again. “Just take it easy. I’ll get you to him,” Jeremy sighed. 

You relaxed and allowed him to carry the rest of the way to the shore. You could hear Undyne yelling; although, you could see neither her nor Papyrus as they were blocked by the surrounding guard dogs. 

“YOU NUMBSKULL!! What did I tell you?!” You could Papyrus coughing as Undyne continued. “If you can’t swim, don’t go so deep in the water! What if a current swept you out! I can’t go losing my bestie like that!” Your eyes widened. Papyrus couldn’t swim?! What the hell was he doing in the ocean if he couldn’t swim?!

You finally heard Papyrus speak. “I’m sorry, Undyne. I was-”

“Worried about the human, yeah. I get it. She’s alright, see?” Undyne must have gestured in your direction and Lesser Dog stepped aside to reveal that you were indeed safe, alive and in the arms of another man. Uh...

Papyrus’ hopeful expression faltered and he rubbed his arm. Undyne cocked her eyebrow at him at the strange reaction and turned to look toward you. “Oh goddammit, Pap,” She muttered, slapping a webbed hand to her forehead. 

You felt yourself blush as you felt everyone's’ eyes on you. Jeremy quickly deposited you on the ground and stepped forward, rubbing the back of his head. “Ah, well, uh, Papyrus was trying to help,” He attempted to defend, “And if he hadn’t sank in that hole, someone else might have. Heck, maybe even her since she DOESN’T listen to directions!” He further enunciated that last part by pointing to you angrily. You chuckled weakly. 

Undyne threw her hands in the air. “I know, right?!” She returned her attention to her guards. “Alright, folks. Show’s over! Return to setting up our defensive perimeter!” 

Jeremy nodded and poked you who was grateful for the distraction. “Ah, well we better do what the fish lady says. Let’s go back to the water.” 

“Great idea!” Undyne hollered, grabbing your human friend tightly before either of you could act. “Water will help cement our first layer of defense against invading humans! Come prisoner! Let’s go get some water!” As Undyne dragged her new prisoner away, you could hear her shout, “And you can show me that body maneuver thing. Imagine the potential if you combined it with a lethal spear attack!!” 

“Uh, maybe?!” Jeremy guessed before disappearing completely with the monster. You were once again alone with Papyrus. You both looked much more bedraggled than when you had started the date. You’re not sure how skeletons looked soaked, but he looked completely soaked. Water appeared to be leaking from his skull and his scarf hung limply against him. 

Then again, you looked just as bad. Your thick crazy hair clung pastily to your face. You’re sure you had some kelp stuck in your hair and your body was covered in sand and sea silt. You walked forward and Papyrus lighted up. 

“Hello, human! How are you?” Papyrus asked. You stared at him, dumbfounded. 

“How am I?!” How are YOU?! You nearly drowned!!” 

“Oh.” Papyrus’ sockets shifted, "Actually, oxygen is more of a habit than a necessity," He admitted shyly. You approached and glared at him.

“I didn't fucking know! In that case, why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t swim?” You demanded. 

Papyrus scratched his skull. “I did not want you to miss out on having fun,” he explained. 

“Really?! How much fun do you think I would have had if you drowned?” You asked, crossing your arms. 

Papyrus looked at you again and an orange blush dusted his cheeks. “Uh...if I could drown, I would assume not that much fun?” 

“Ya think?” You groaned. “Why didn’t you tell me anything?!” You asked, crossing your arms tighter as your body unconsciously began to shake from the wind and adrenaline. Papyrus attempted to not look at you which you immediately noticed. “Hey! You’re not even looking at me now?!” 

“Well, ah…”

You felt yourself prickle defensively. “Do you not trust me?” 

Papyrus nearly jumped and quickly looked at you in alarm. “Trust you? Of course, I trust you! It’s just...ah.” Your eyes followed his as his sockets flickered down toward your chest. “Would you mind, uh….” 

Ah. It appeared the girls had enjoyed their little swim despite the life threatening circumstances. The bathing suit clung to your body flatteringly as the bikini top retained some of the water to make your chest more plump than normal. Mettaton had stealthily picked out a push up bathing suit. No wonder he was so proud of himself. In any other circumstance, you would have tried to cover yourself but Papyrus’ recent actions had pissed you off. Maybe you could teach him a lesson about listening. “Are my boobs distracting you?” You smirked, sticking out your tongue and pressing the girls even tighter together. 

Papyrus’ blush darkened. “Yes? I’m not sure-well! Just listen!” Before you could stop him, he grabbed your hands and pulled them away from your chest and against his own. He let out a sigh of relief and continued. “I trust you! I just didn’t want you to think I wasn’t good boyf-er date material!” He insisted. “I’m very good at everything I do, but I’m afraid that I haven’t quite mastered the art of swimming!” He admitted. “I did not want you to think that I am only the Marginally Better Than Average Papyrus instead of the Great Papyrus!” 

You couldn’t help but smile gently at the honest skeleton. “Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. I really like you a lot and I still think you’re the Great Papyrus, even if you can’t swim.” You laughed. Papyrus brightened up significantly at your words and a huge grin erupted onto his skull...too big of a grin. “What?” You asked, “What are you smiling about?” 

Papyrus looked down at you eagerly. “Human, I am truly impressed by how much work you put into your plan to reveal your feelings for me.”

“What?” You gaped. 

He nodded. “Yes. Pretending to put yourself in danger to see if I would come to your rescue only for you to save me instead? How very clever!” 

“Woah, woah, woah! No, no, no!” You shook your own head as your face very quickly turned strawberry red. Somehow this lesson had backfired terribly. You tried to pull your hands back but he held fast. 

In fact, he pulled you even closer against his chest. “And you overlooking my inability to swim in your desire to make me feel comfortable with you were not unnoticed. I do in fact find myself very comfortable and safe with you,” he informed you. You tried to look away from him but you found it increasingly harder to do so at the decreasing distance. 

You found yourself starting to stutter as he drew you against his chest. “I-i-i just wanted to s-say-!” 

“That you really really like me,” Papyrus concluded for you, his eyes glinting gleefully at you. 

Oh man. Your whole body was heating up being this underdressed and this close to this suddenly very overconfident and somehow now dashing skeleton. How could a skull look so coy? You remembered Mettaton and gritted your teeth. You were not going down this easily. You had to think of something and fast! A long shot idea struck you and you grinned devilishly. 

“Look Pap! A human!” You shouted, looking behind him

“A human?! Where?!” Papyrus immediately jumped and whirled around, releasing you in the process. He stood there for a moment before the reality of the situation dawned on him. “Nyeh!” he yelled, turning back to see you had only run a short distance. “Very sneaky, human. Alas, it won’t distract me from my uh…” He stopped monologuing as he stepped on the water. You stood a few feet out from the shore, smiling. “Em, human, could you please come closer so I could finish having you confess your affections?”

You tapped your chin as if in deep thought. “Hmm...nope. I don’t think so. I’ll stay right here in the ocean.” 

“Well, ah..I guess you’re not too far out. I can just walk out to you-” 

“Papyrus!!” The skeleton nearly leapt out of his bones and spotted Undyne standing behind you. 

“Oh hi, Undyne!” 

“Don’t you dare take one step into the ocean.” 

Papyrus looked aghast. “Really?”

“Yeah, that’s an order, dork!” She growled. “I’m not taking any chances! So step back.” Papyrus watched you guys for any sense of leniency but you and Undyne crossed your arms defiantly. He rolled his sockets and finally stepped backwards onto dry land. “Good.” Undyne gave you a curt nod and swam back out to the sea. 

Papyrus folded his own arms and gave you a hard look. “This is very immature,” he scolded. 

You blew a defiant raspberry and quickly darted down the shoreline with a childish giggle, leaving Papyrus to stomp his boot angrily on the sand. 

Let the games begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue Dating Tense!  
> Our couple seems evenly matched. I wonder who will win the date?   
> (On the plus side, it doesn't appear Jeremy wants anyone dead. So that's good news.) 
> 
> Also...I hope you guys like ocean puns. Because next chapter is going to have a boat load of them. ;)
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! This is starting to get rather long!! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)


	55. A Pun Time at the Beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for nothing in this chapter! You hear me! NOTHING!  
> So enjoy this short chapter of painful puns. You have no idea how long it took me to come up with all of these.

Sans and Toriel sat on the beach, watching their friends and family contently. The Queen sat on her large towel and dug her toes into the sand languidly. She glanced over at Sans who appeared to be snoozing to the average passerby but she knew he was very much awake. 

“Sans?” She called.

“hmm?” The skeleton opened up a socket lazily and looked over at the goat monster.

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

“i’ve been keeping my head above water,” he grinned, “you?” 

“I’ve been feeling a little tanked myself,” she responded with a smirk. Sans scooped some sand over his legs. 

“huh, i sea what you did there.”

“Are you onboard with this?” Toriel asked. 

“ya kiddin? i’ve been dying to trout my new material.”

“Excellent. I’ve been longfin for some jokes.” 

“so you won’t mind if i run a few bayou huh?”

“Ha! Don’t give me that line!”

“what? oh, i’m saury.”

She laughed. “It’s fine. I’m sure you didn’t do it on porpoise.” 

Sans humphed. “well now you’re definitely being koi with me.”

“Are you sure you aren’t just crabby? Or do you really think I’m being shellfish?” She asked. 

Sans buried his legs in the sand. “two jokes in one? tori, you must really be fishing for a compliment. cause you’ve got me hooked.”

“Oh, that must have been a fluke,” she blushed. 

Sans leaned in towards the goat monster with a sneaky grin. “i think you’re tugging my fly if you catch my drift.” Toriel blushed furiously at the suggestive pun. She tried to speak but could not. “feeling a bit tongue tied?” Sans smirked.

Toriel bit her lip, stood up quickly and walked away stiffly. Sans’ grin faltered and he rubbed the back of his head. “oops...maybe i went a bit overboard with the jokes,” he muttered. Sans was about to stand up to go after her when Toriel returned, carrying a large bucket. 

There was an evil glint in her eyes that Sans immediately noticed. “uh, tori, i-” before he could continue, Toriel charged him. 

“I think you need to water down the puns, Sans!” and with that Toriel dumped a bucket of icy sea water over the trapped skeleton. Sans stared at his soaked clothes in barely muted surprise before looking up at Toriel in wonder. She was doing her best to appear stoic but her attempt was undermined by Sans shooting her a winning smile.

“that was quite the snapper comeback,” he snickered. That did it. Toriel burst into loud snorting laughter and kneeled down to his level. 

“You just stay perched right there,” she instructed, beginning to pour buckets of sand on top of the skeleton. 

“i’ve been delta bad hand!” Sans protested as he tried to scramble away but Tori caught him and prevented his escape. 

“Don’t run aweigh, Sans!” She cackled. 

“this is getting out of sand!” Sans giggled as she buried him up to his waist. 

“Shell I stop?” Tori offered, “I’m not giving you a haddock, am I?”

“no,” Sans shook his head, “i’m just sardine to have trouble remembering what words we’ve already used.” 

“Well I’m not fin-ished just yet. This is reel fun!” Toriel bragged as she finished burying Sans up to his shoulders. 

Sans chuckled. “i’m surprised we got this far. you’ve got a shark wit.” 

“Me? You’re current-ly doing very whale.” Toriel praised, winking at him. 

Sans squirmed slightly. “i might need some kelp.” 

“I think naut.” Toriel leaned in even closer to the skeleton.

Sans blushed blue. “i’m floundering to come up with anymore?”

“Are you being a squider?” 

“no, just seem to have a creek in my neck at the moment.”

“Aw,” Toriel cooed. She reached out and gently stroked a few of his cervical vertebrae. “Let minnow where it hurts.” 

Sans found himself relaxing into her touch. “that feels really good.” He froze as Toriel lit up. “oops.”

She leaned in and gave him a small peck on the forehead. His cheeks burned blue once more and he looked up in astonishment as she smiled. “You just got schooled.”

“Oh DAMMIT!” Both monsters jumped (well at least Toriel did) as Burgerpants emerged from his hiding place under a nearby pile of towels. He yanked off his MTT brand electronic far range listening device from his ears and glared at the two monsters. “For the love of God! Enough with the puns!”

“don’t you mean for the love of cod?” Sans recovered.

“THAT’S IT! I’m DONE doing surveillance! I need a smoke.” Burgerpants tossed the gear to the ground. 

“Eel try to stop, but no promises!” Burgerpants bolted. 

Sans looked up at Toriel admirably. “say, if you dig me out, i’ll buoy us some ice cream.”

“Sounds like a seal!” Toriel agreed and began to dig her skeleton friend out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If none of you groaned at all, then I just can't help you.
> 
> I REGRET NOTHING!
> 
> Next chapter continues the date! In the meantime, I expect you to post puns in the comments. The most groan worthy ones.
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! This is starting to get rather long!! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)


	56. A Bungled Beach Burglary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 1st Anniversary, Undertale!!! :D
> 
> So last chapter...you said some bad jokes, I said some bad jokes...some of you proposed to another commentor. Actually quite a couple of you proposed. Domaneerox, you're a lucky one. I hope you enjoy all of your new spouses. 
> 
> On that note, new fanart! Actually...it's a gif! :D  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)
> 
> If you can't figure out who's going to be in this chapter, I just can't help you.

“Papyrus, have you seen my mom?” 

“Your mom? No, I’m sorry. Would you like me to help you look for her?” 

Frisk shook his head. “Nah. I was just wondering.” The small boy watched Papyrus curiously. The skeleton was squatting in front of a towel that was clearly covering something. “What are you doing?” 

Papyrus glanced at the child. “Ah...promise not to be overwhelmed by my ingenuity?” 

“Sure!” 

“Excellent!” Papyrus quickly gathered Frisk to him and yanked off the towel. “Behold! My new human capturing device!” He presented dramatically.

It was a corn dog on a paper plate. There was a box was perched up with a stick over the plate. The stick was attached to a rope which was somewhat disguised by a slew of shells. Frisk grinned at the display. “Hey! That looks really good!”

“I would hope so! Lori seemed to really like these uh...I mean,” Papyrus’ voice trailed off and he coughed, “I mean, most humans really like corn dogs.” 

Frisk jumped up and down. “We should try this on another girl to make sure it will work on her!” He exclaimed. 

Papyrus looked at Frisk in amazement. “Are you sure?”

“Oh yeah. I know I would fall for it, but maybe a girl might act differently,” Frisk offered supportively. 

“That makes sense.”

“Come on! I think I saw a girl over there! Let’s go catch her!” 

~~~~~

You finally waded out of the water. Papyrus had disappeared a while ago and you were curious to know what he was up to. He was your date after all. Plus, you did need to reapply sunscreen. You shook yourself like a dog and walked up the sand to your towel. You reached inside your recovered duffel bag to pull out your sunscreen.

Something hard pressed roughly into your back and a voice spoke gruffly into your ear. “Give us your wallet or we’ll shoot.” Your eyes widened and you quickly looked around for assistance. Dammit. No one. You attempted to turn around to face your assailant only to get jabbed in the back again. “Turn around and you’re dead.” 

“I don’t have my wallet.” 

“...What?”

You threw up your hands irritably. “I have my ID and a credit card. The rest of my stuff has been tossed at a police cruiser.”

The man’s tough voice broke. “Huh? Why would you, ah I mean,” the mugger coughed and returned to his roughness, “Why would you throw your stuff at a cop?”

There was something familiar about the guy behind you. Especially in the way that he was failing in mugging you still. “I didn’t. My fucking friend did it,” you spat irritably. 

“H-hey! Don’t swear right now, jeez, uh I mean-!” Man you hadn’t been mugged this poorly since…

“Andrew?” 

“Uh...no?” You turned around found yourself facing the mugger from a few nights ago. Except instead of a suit, he wore a neon green bathing suit and a T shirt. His eyes widened at your action, allowing you to notice that he was holding something with a black nozzle aimed at your chest. “Y-you!” He looked around wildly. “Where’s the skeleton guy?!” 

“Really, dude. Really?” You groaned. You eyed the “weapon” suspiciously. “Is that even a real gun?” 

Andrew stammered. “Do you know how much trouble your friend got me in that night he drove me home?” 

“You mean the night you let him kidnap me?” You scoffed. “Why should I care?” 

Andrew threw up his hands in frustration, allowing you to grab the gun as he proceeded to vent. “My parents didn’t know I had snuck out and my mom was so happy that the monster brought me back that she invited him over for Family Game Night!! My little sister talked nonstop about how he was the coolest thing ever since then!! It was SO embarrassing!” 

“Oh you poor deprived child. Let me play the tiniest fiddle for your trouble,” you sarcastically emphasized. You looked at the weapon you had procured. “Did you seriously try to rob me with an Expo dry erase marker taped to some cardboard?”

“Sh-shut up. My sister won’t let me borrow her toy kitchen set utensils anymore,” he mumbled.

“You didn’t even paint the cardboard black, you dingus!” You pointed out as you handed it back to him. “Seriously, I’m pretty fucking disappointed in you.”

“Hey! No swearing in front of my little sister, okay?” 

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Little sister?” 

Andrew gestured behind him. “Mom is having me babysit my little sister while she’s at a conference. And she wanted to go to the beach so I figure I could kill two birds with one stone.” 

“Except you didn’t bring a stone. A stone would have been more effective, dumbass,” you snorted. 

“No swearing in front of my little sister!” 

“What little sister?” you asked. 

Andrew shot you a dirty look. “What are talking about? She’s right...here?!” He turned to show you that there was no little sister. 

You watched him spin around frantically, your mouth hanging open. “Oh my god. You’re not only a terrible mugger-you’re a terrible older brother!” You gasped. How pathetic could this guy get?

He grabbed you around the shoulders. “Please! Please! Please! You gotta help me find her!!”

“You want me to help you? After you’ve tried to mug me twice?!” Was he serious?

Andrew nodded. “Yes! Please! My mom will kill me if she finds out I lost her! And my dad will-! Oh my God! I’m going to be in so much trouble!!” 

You watched him carefully. “Dude...are you crying?” Andrew shook his head as tears formed in his eyes. You groaned. “Okay, okay. Let’s go look for her.” 

“Thank you,” the mugger sniffled. 

“What’d you say her name was?

“Rachel. Her name is Rachel.”

~~~~~

“Rachel? That’s a very nice name. My name is Frisk!” the child ambassador greeted. The young girl smiled. 

“Your name is so cool!” Rachel squealed. “I wish my name was Frisk...or Tammy.” 

Frisk smiled at the small brunette girl. “Hey would you be able to help my uncle and me out with something?” 

“Maybe. What do you need help with?” 

“Well my uncle is trying to make a trap to catch humans and he needs to try it on a human. Would you be willing to come with him to go test it out?” Frisk explained.

She paused. “Uhh, well, I’m not supposed to go with strangers,” she admitted. 

Frisk nodded understandingly. “Would you like to meet him? That way he won’t be a stranger anymore!” The little girl nodded and Frisk turned around. “Hey Papyrus, can you come talk to Rachel for a bit?” 

“Sure!” The skeleton stepped out from his hiding spot and approached the two children. 

Rachel’s eyes grew as wide as saucers and she screamed, making Papyrus freeze in his tracks. “Oh! I know him! I know him! He’s the skele man who brought my brother home! Hi skele man!!” she squealed. Frisk and Papyrus relaxed. 

Papyrus beamed at the little girl. “Hello tiny human! Yes! I remember you now! Have you decided which puzzles we are going to play for Family Game Night?” 

She shook her head. “No, not yet. I’m still thinking.” She turned to Frisk and smiled. “Mom says I get to choose the games for game night since my older brother got caught sneaking out.” 

Papyrus nodded. “Would you be willing to help Frisk and I out with a project? I need a human to try it out!” 

Rachel gasped. “I’m a human! I’m a human! Pick me! Pick me! What do you need me to do?” 

Frisk nodded as Papyrus went to go set up the trap. “Well, I want you to go eat the corn dog on the plate over there and my uncle will try to catch you.”

Rachel nodded. “It won’t hurt, right?” 

“Nah. He’s very nice...and you’ll probably be able to escape,” Frisk admitted quietly. 

“Okay dokey!” 

~~~~~

“Hey Frisk! How’s it going?” You called as you spotted the young boy by himself. 

“Hi! I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m good. Hey, you haven’t happened to see a little girl running around lately? Her name is Rachel.” 

Andrew butted in quickly, almost knocking you down with his zealousness. “She’s a bit shorter than you. Long hair. Wearing a pink kitty bathing suit! She’s my little sister!” 

Frisk brightened up. “Oh! I know where she is! Or where she’s going to be at least! Come with me!” 

“Ah! Thank you!” Andrew squealed. You began to follow Frisk when you spotted something odd. 

“Uh..hang on. What is that?” You asked.

Frisk looked at where you were observing and grinned widely. “I dunno. Why don’t you go check it out? We’ll go on ahead!” 

“Okay. I’ll be with you guys shortly.” The two boys nodded and walked on, leaving you to stare at the strange structure. “What the fuck is that?” You asked yourself as you walked toward it. 

It looked like someone had made a small teepee out of beach towels. You stared at it dumbly, noting that there was a rope sticking out from under it. You curiously walked over to get a closer look and could see that the rope sticking out of the teepee kept going along the beach. It appeared to be somewhat disguised by a line of sea shells. Clumsily.

You followed the easy to spot length of rope until you saw it was tied to a stick. The stick was standing upright next to a plate with a corn dog on it. “Huh.” You glanced at the stick and realized it was holding up a large box. Oh my god. Is this supposed to be a trap? Episodes of old cartoons with cats and mice flashed through your mind. You bit your lip to keep from laughing.

“Oh my god. What type of moron tries to catch stuff like this?” You snickered.

“Nyeh heh heh!” You froze. The laugh. That very familiar laugh. You brought your fingers to the bridge of your nose and snickered silently. Of course. Of course it was Papyrus. You looked back at the teepee and saw one of his boots sticking out. Yup. Papyrus had built a trap. Why had he built a trap? Was he trying to catch you? …Had he really expected you to fall for it? 

Maybe you should sneak up on him, you deviously thought. Yeah. That would be much more satisfying than trying to steal a corn dog...uh, not that you were tempted by the free food. Haha...yeah, keep telling yourself that. You tiptoed to the teepee and silently snuck in through the back. 

There wasn’t much room in this makeshift teepee but you were able to creep in without being noticed. Yup. There was Papyrus, sitting down cross legged, his back luckily toward you. In his hands, he clutched the end of the rope that was no doubt attached to the box outside. You smiled as wide as the Cheshire Cat as you entered. “So!” you began, “Whatcha doing?”

Papyrus nearly jumped only to catch himself quickly. You were sure if he had actually jumped, he would have knocked down his towel teepee on top of you both. He turned his head to look at you in alarm. “It’s you!” 

You eyed a slit he had made in the towel in front of him. “What’s that hole for?” You asked. The skeleton glanced back to the hole and put a hand over it. 

“Nothing.”

“Nothing, eh?” You smiled. “I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t? I’d believe me,” Papyrus insisted, his sockets shifting. Liar.

“Nope. I think you are plotting something.” Papyrus gave a yelp as you clambered over him slightly to look out the hole. “A corn dog, eh?”

Yes, you could see the trap once more through the slit. You had blown his surprise and he seemed to be rather unkempt by this. He squeaked and you had to admit, flustering the skeleton was pretty satisfying. Perhaps it was time for you to follow Sensei Mettaton’s advice and seize the upper hand. Especially after his little powergrab earlier with the “confessing your feelings” nonsense on the beach. 

You allowed one of your hands to lean on one of his legs for support as you forced the upper half of your body under his arm to give him the impression that you were simply trying to get closer to the slit. You were most certainly not using the awkward position to allow your breasts to brush against his other leg as they bobbed up and down with your movements.

“Human,” Papyrus began, “I am surprised that you think I am p-plotting.” He stumbled a bit on those last words as you allowed the girls to brush against him. An evil grin appeared on your face but you made sure he could only see the back of your head. Your other hand dragged your sunscreen and discreetly deposited it unnoticed in the space made by Papyrus’ cross legged position.

Assuming the most innocent face you could muster, you turned to face Papyrus. He was a mess. An orange pupil was fading in and out as he desperately tried to remain still. Even though his hands trembled, he still managed to keep his grip on the rope. “Ah, be careful Papyrus,” you slyly warned, “I wouldn’t move too much if I were you. You might set off your trap prematurely.” Your suggestive line fell flat as you realized he would probably not get the insinuation. He shot you a questioning glance and you opted for a more direct approach. Your spare hand not using his leg as support traveled up his inner leg and brushed against his pelvis. 

“Human!” Papyrus gasped, throwing his head back. “What-what are you doing?” 

“Just getting my sunblock,” you teased, grabbing the bottle near his legs. 

“O-oh.” Who’s a naughty girl? You are! 

You allowed the back of your hand to brush the sensitive area once more. He ground his teeth together and took a sharp breath. “So what are you doing in here?” You asked innocently.

Papyrus exhaled. “Waiting for the human volunteer to fall into my trap,” he admitted.

“Uh...human volunteer?” you asked. Wait, did he mean Frisk? You recovered before Papyrus could and smiled. “Well, while we wait for the volunteer, do you mind if I reapply my sunscreen?”

Papyrus looked at the bottle. “Yes, I guess that’s alright.” He attempted to look through the slit once more as you opened the bottle.

Was this the best place to reapply sunscreen? Probably not. Was this even remotely comfortable to reapply sunscreen here? Definitely not. But were you winning the date? Absolutely! Papyrus was only able to keep guard a few seconds before he found himself hypnotized by the motions of you rubbing lotion all over you skin, taking a few extra seconds to rub it in at the top of your chest. 

“Nyeh, human,” Papyrus ventured, “Would you like my assistance to reach your back with the sun armor?” 

Gotcha. “Oh thank you. That would be super sweet,” you thanked. He let out a nervous chuckle and gently placed the rope to the ground. You shot him a wide smile and his nervousness abated somewhat as he took the bottle from. Your body naturally tensed up as you heard him squirt the lotion, already anticipating the coldness of the lotion on your bare skin.

Imagine your surprise instead as you felt something warm began to rub on your back. Your surprise must have been evident because the rubbing stopped abruptly. “Am I doing something wrong?” Papyrus asked worriedly. 

You shook your head. “N-no! Just normally, the lotion is really cold, but it’s warm now. Are you rubbing your hands together or…?” Your voice died down in your throat as you turned to look at his hands. There was a faint orange glow emanating from his gloves. You stared dumbly at the gloves. 

“Is this alright?” He asked once more. You looked up and started as you found yourself staring into Papyrus’ orange eye. He actually looked concerned. 

Alphys’ words about monster magic reverberated in your mind. Whether he was aware of it or not, Papyrus currently had magic flowing to his hands and that seemed to leech somewhat to his gloves. So him touching you now…would it still have a pleasant effect even though he was not directly touching you? You were leaning toward yes at this point, but you still wanted to experiment a bit. “Ah, it’s nothing. I just wanted to say thank you,” you said.

Papyrus smiled and proceeded to rub the lotion onto your back. You felt yourself relax as he started at the tip of your neck and work his way down. This felt great! Your back quivered as he rubbed in gentle circles up and down your back, blending in the sunblock. You resisted the urge to purr.

So it did not have to always be through direct touch for magic to have an effect on a human, although you’re sure if it was direct contact, it would have felt much more. You grinned. Look at you, making breakthroughs in monster human science! Granted, it was somewhat lewd, but it was scientific progress, dammit! You may have relaxed a little too much. You let out a small deep sigh as he brushed over some lumbar muscle. 

Papyrus clicked his teeth. “Good, good,” he seemed to mumbled under his breath. 

“Did you say something?” 

“I like it when you make that sound.” Your eyes widened. 

“Uh…” You tried to back up off his lap but he kept a hand gently but firmly on your back, preventing you from making any subtle attempts at escaping. You had a momentary panic attack at the compromising position you were in, (despite the fact that you were the one who put yourself into it in the first place). If he wanted to do something to you, there wasn’t much you could do to prevent it, not without knocking down the teepee and exposing you both. And you didn’t want to do that. Er, knock down the teepee. You didn’t want him to do anything to you. Yes. You forced yourself to calm down. There was no way that his actions were intentional. Not Papyrus. 

“Will you make that sound again if I keep doing this?” Papyrus asked hopefully, playing with the strings holding your bikini top on. Your heart skipped a beat. 

Ah. You kinda lay there in surprise. What do you say? “Yes?” You offered.

“Excellent!” He resumed the lotion application and you mentally shrugged. That was odd. But it made him happy and you didn’t find yourself being molested…so yay? You glanced through the slit and did a double take.

There was a little girl approaching Papyrus’ trap. “Papyrus,” you whispered. 

“Yes?” Wow. He was really close to you now.

“There’s a little girl by your trap! Be careful you don’t-!”

You gave a small surprised shout as Papyrus immediately leapt to his knees, letting you drop to the sand in an undignified flop. “Nyeh heh heh heh! Excellent! Time to test out my trap!” 

“Wait! What?” You struggled to get back up. “You can’t just catch small children!” 

“How else will I be able to test my human trap?” Papyrus asked as he spied through his slit, “Besides children are the most dangerous of the human species! If I can catch this one, I can most certainly catch an adult!” He cackled. 

“No! No! No! Seriously!” You got up to your knees. “Fuck, Pap, do not pull that rope!” You demanded. Papyrus hesitated and looked at you. “I’m dead serious. If you pull that rope, you’re in big trouble!” 

Papyrus made a move to drop the rope and you began to relax. A shout from outside caught both of your attention and he peeked out the slit one last time. He grinned triumphantly. “Nyeh heh heh! Got you!” He cheered, yanking the rope. He turned to you excitedly. “Look! I caught the human!” He announced.

The teepee collapsed as you tackled Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys miss Andrew? I missed him.
> 
> What's your favorite guilty pleasure snack? (Like MnMs melted on mac n cheese)? I'm seriously craving some ideas!
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! This is starting to get rather long!! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)


	57. A Box is an Effective Trap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn, your guilty pleasures sound delicious. I'm going to try them out one by one. :3
> 
> The beach date continues. Nothing awkward will happen in this chapter. One of these statements is a lie. ;D

Two minutes earlier...

Andrew let out a huge sigh of relief as he spotted his sister. “Is that her?” Frisk asked, pointing toward the girl walking around in front of them in the distance.

“Yes, yes, that’s her. Oh man. Thanks, little buddy. My mom was going to ground me for sure.” The mugger watched his sister curiously. “Uh...what’s she doing?” He asked.

Frisk grinned. “She’s helping my friend and I run a test,” he explained. 

Andrew scratched his head. “Why is she walking toward that box?”

Frisk pointed. “Oh, we put bait there.” 

“Bait?” Andrew looked and saw his little sister giddily run over to a corn dog on a plate on the ground. His jaw dropped. “Oh come on! Rachel! Don’t eat food off the ground!” His sister appeared not to hear him as she skipped toward the corn dog and licked her lips. “Ugh, I better go get her before she actually eats-No! Rachel!! Put it down!”

Frisk put a hand on Andrew’s sleeve. “Hang on for one more minute. She’s almost done.”

“Done? Done with what?” Rachel sat down next to the plate and began to nibble on the corn dog like a happy little mouse. Andrew slapped a hand on his face. Rachel spotted her brother and Frisk and waved happily. 

“Hi Frisk! Hi Andrew! Look I did it! I got the corn dog!” She cheered, holding up the corn dog. Andrew smiled and waved back. He took a step forward only to watch a box suddenly fall over his sister, effectively trapping her. 

“A success! Your sister did great!” Frisk cheered, giving Andrew a pat on the back.

“A success?! Someone just trapped my baby sister in a box and I’m supposed to consider that a good thing?” Andrew freaked. 

“Yes?” 

“Hang on sis, I’m coming!!” Andrew hollered, stumbling and running toward his trapped sister. He only tripped a few times in the sand as he ran to the box and yanked it off his sister. Rachel looked at him, smiling widely, half of the corn dog already gone. 

“Hi dumb dumb!” She greeted cheerfully. 

Andrew grabbed his sister and hugged her. “Who did this to you?” He demanded angrily, pulling away to look at her bright eyes.

“Oh the skele man needed my help!” She reassured her brother. Andrew paled.

“The skele man?” 

“Hello human friend!” A familiar booming voice yelled. The small group turned to see Papyrus disentangling himself from some form of collapsed towel structure and making his way toward the humans. Andrew resisted the urge to bolt and straightened himself out to make himself look taller and more intimidating. 

He barely reached Papyrus’ chest. He gulped. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing with my sister?” 

“Capturing her,” Papyrus explained matter of factly. 

“Uh...okay, yeah, I get that,” Andrew admitted. He hadn’t expected such a direct answer. He cleared his throat. “You shouldn’t do that!” He argued. 

“Why not?”

“I didn’t mind,” Rachel piped up.

Andrew threw his hands up in the air. “Rachel, this is not helping!” He pointed to Papyrus who looked very confused. “You can’t just go capturing human women! People don’t like that and they think you’re grabbing women for..uh...other reasons.” Andrew’s voice trailed off and he quickly blushed. 

Papyrus leaned in. “Other reasons? I don’t understand.” Andrew glanced at Frisk and Rachel and kept his mouth shut. 

Frisk shrugged. “I don’t know what. Maybe for ransom?”

“Oh! Well, worry not, human friend, I would never hold a prisoner for ransom!” Papyrus proudly stated. 

Andrew sighed. “Sure, yeah, not quite what I meant but…” He looked around. “Hey, where is that other chick?” 

“Papyrus, you son of a bi-aaak!!” your voice rang out. The group immediately turned toward the pile of towels. Someone was trying to get out of the towels, so far unsuccessfully. That someone ended up being you. You half dragged/half kicked your way out with a frustrated howl like a cat stuck in a pillowcase. Andrew stared at you in disbelief before turning on Papyrus. 

“You kidnapped her again?!” He hollered at the now very confused skeleton. 

Papyrus looked back at you as you attempted to free yourself from the stupid towels. “Oh! Well, she actually came to me first,” Papyrus explained. 

Andrew leaned in closer. “Then why is she naked?!” 

“NAKED?” You shrieked. You look down where your bikini top should have been and screamed. Where was your top?! You quickly grabbed one of the fallen towels and wrapped it around your naked chest. You quickly dropped to the ground and began to feel around for your bikini top. 

Papyrus blushed a furious orange. Andrew immediately turned Frisk and Rachel around. “Go help her.” Andrew gritted his teeth at the skeleton, doing his best not to look at your panicked figure rummaging through the towels. 

“Nyeh! Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with the small humans?” Papyrus asked hopefully, casting a worried glance toward you.

Andrew shook his head. “No way dude. I’m not letting you anywhere near my sister right now. Go take care of YOUR human.” 

Papyrus audibly gulped and walked over to you. You didn’t notice him coming as you felt around the sand and pile of towels. “Hello human! I am here to help you!” Papyrus called carefully as he approached. You turned at his voice to face him only for his boot to step on your towel and yank it down to the ground...exposing you once more. 

You gasped and went to cover yourself but Papyrus was quicker. He quickly seized both of your shoulders and pulled you against himself, effectively providing an immediate cover for your naked breasts. His armor was warm but thankfully not hot from the sun so the girls were comfortable but relatively unharmed against his chest. You looked up at him and saw he was blushing a very deep shade of orange.

You laughed. Papyrus looked down at you in confusion. “Human?” 

“This, this is awesome,” you giggled. 

“It is?” he asked, astounded.

You nodded enthusiastically. “This has been one of the most fun dates I’ve been on in a very long time.” It’s true. When have you ever been on a date where your date’s best friend tossed part of their car at the cops, where you date risked drowning instead of admitting he couldn’t swim so as not to spoil your fun all while you were engaged in a battle to see who could out-date the other? 

“Honestly, this has been the most fun I’ve had at the beach in a real long time!” You cheered. Papyrus started to smile and his blush lifted. 

“Nyeh! I admit this has been one of my more exciting dates!” Papyrus agreed wholeheartedly. 

You wiggled your feet. “Think you can try to grab one of the towels before we get arrested for public indecency?” You asked eagerly. 

Papyrus nodded. “Of course! This is a simple task for the Great-!” 

“For God sakes man, just grab a damn towel!!” Andrew yelled from his spot.

“Oooooo! I’m gonna tell mom you are swearing!” 

“No, no, Rachel. Don’t tell mom.” 

Papyrus cleared his throat and managed to hook his boot under a fallen towel. He lifted it up just high enough for you to grab it and quickly rewrap it around yourself. “Don’t step on this one, silly,” You chided.

“Never fear, human! You shall remain covered while we search for your bathing battle attachment.” 

“You mean this?” A familiar voice called out. You turned around to see Jeremy holding your battle attachment, er you mean your bathing suit top. 

“Oh! How fortunate! Thank you, human friend, for your assistance!” Papyrus graciously thanked.

You felt your chest clench as Jeremy studied the top. He had a crafty look in his eyes that put you on edge. “You know, this seemed like a really sturdy top. I’m surprised it came untied all by itself,” he observed, shooting a less than subtle glance at your date. 

You didn’t like what he was implying and you bit your lip. The insinuation thankfully went right over Papyrus’ head and he shrugged. “It was very odd. Perhaps Sans and I could help her make an improved battle body bathing suit!” He declared. 

Jeremy’s smugness faltered. “Oh yeah. You could do that.” 

“So yeah,” you interrupted, “Thanks for finding my top. Toss it here so I can put it back on.” 

“Hmm...well I think since I found it, I should be able to help you put it on. Just so it doesn’t fall off again.” He pointed toward the strings that would tie around your back. “It can be quite difficult to put on right. I’ve had a lot of experience helping women get back into their bathing suits after a bit of fun.”

There was something slimy about that admission and you shuddered. A warm glove placed itself protectively on your shoulder and you looked up at the skeleton monster. His sockets were narrowed slightly. Perhaps he had picked up on your discomfort? “I believe I will be able to assist with her donning the battle attachment, thank you,” Papyrus responded with a smile. 

Jeremy hesitated but that was enough of a moment. Andrew stomped out in front of you both and yanked the piece of clothing out of his hands. He handed it to Papyrus before facing you. “You. Uh, we’re even now.” Andrew grunted. 

You mouthed a silent thank you as Andrew beat a hasty retreat from a less than pleased Jeremy. You heard two plops onto the sand and turned to see Papyrus had removed his gloves and was disentangling the thin fabric deftly. “Uh, do you know how to put it on?” You asked. 

“Of course!” Papyrus admitted. “I have been observing your outfit extensively.”

“Oh! Uh, thank you!” You snickered as Papyrus realized what he had said and shifted his sockets awkwardly, putting his gloves back on.

You held your towel out to cover you as the monster quickly tied you back into your suit. You tossed the towel to the ground and posed dramatically. “I am ready for battle!” You declared triumphantly. Jeremy shook his head as Papyrus watched you eagerly. 

The sounds of sirens made everyone pause. You looked toward the sound and saw another cruiser coasting over the sand toward your direction. Before you could take another step, Papyrus lifted you in the air and you squealed. “Papyrus, what the hell?!” You demanded. 

The skeleton looked surprised. “Weren’t you planning on running?” 

“Why would she run?!” Jeremy asked. 

“Nope but I am!” Andrew squeaked. “Did you call the cops on me?!” Andrew looked at you in a panic. 

“Why would YOU run?!” Jeremy persisted. 

“When would I have had time to call the cops on you?!” You asked as you flailed helplessly. 

“Why would she call the cops on you?!” Jeremy demanded.

“Not important right now!” You yelled back. 

“My human has not made any personal phone calls,” Papyrus piped up. 

Jeremy stared at the skeleton. “YOUR human? Listen here, dude-!” 

“Fine! I believe you!” Andrew acknowledged. “Come on sis, we gotta go!” 

“Bye skele man! See you later!” The bandito and his little sister bolted just as the police car pulled up, much to your chagrin.

An officer with a thick handlebar moustache stepped out and stared at the scene in front of him. He appeared surprisingly unfazed. He focused on your suspended figure and your breath hitched as you spotted the word “Captain” emblazoned on his uniform. 

“Excuse me, are you Lori?”

Well, there was no avoiding the inevitable now. You were fucked. “Yeahhh,” you groaned. “Am I going to jail?” Jeremy and Papyrus stopped arguing at your admission. 

“Woah! No no no! You won’t go to jail! My uncle’s an attorney! Whatever they charge you with, we’ll get overturned!” Jeremy protested. 

Papyrus patted your back. “I will write you letters and visit you every day if you have to go,” he attempted to reassure you. 

The captain looked at the two males before focusing his attention back on you. “No, I’m not planning on arresting you. No fun in that. I just wanted to return your sweater to you.” The officer pulled out your hoody and offered it to you. 

“Oh,” was all you could manage as you took the sweater from the officer who was gracious enough to lift it high enough for you to reach. You were not used to being this tall.

“Stay vigilant and hydrated, ma’am. It’s hot today,” the officer advised. The next minute, he had already driven away, off to go uphold justice. 

Papyrus quickly deposited you back onto the sand and avoided your blithering glare. You shot an equally disappointed look at Jeremy who coughed and found his sandals far more interesting. Both men were going to get it, rest assured. The sound of Frisk talking caught your attention and you glanced his direction. He was on his cell phone. You blinked in surprise. Had he been on it this entire time?

“...okay, I’ll tell them. I love you too, mom. Good bye!” Fisk disconnected the phone and looked at you guys. “Hey, Asgore was able to get someone to loan him a ball so we could play volleyball!” 

You froze. “V-volleyball?” Images of high school and detonations immediately flooded your brain and you felt yourself start to shake. Jeremy eyed you knowingly but said nothing. He was the only one present here who was witness to your less than pleasant experience with these this sport in high school. 

However, Papyrus was exuberant. “That sounds like a lot of fun! Let us go play this volleyball!” He and Jeremy began to follow Frisk but he stopped. You hadn’t moved. Your mind was too busy racing to remind your feet to walk. Papyrus placed a hand on your shoulder and looked into your face. “Is everything okay?” 

“Ye-yeah, just uh, remembering some stuff,” you admitted. 

Papyrus nodded. “I am very sure that his majesty has procured a normal volleyball for us to play with,” he reassured you.

“Ah hah. Yeah, I’m sure he has.” You followed Papyrus worriedly. You would have preferred the volleybomb. At least the volleybomb didn’t make you feel like you were in high school again, crying behind the locker room...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone ever have a sport/club that made you feel awful in high school (or, if you're still in high school - that you dislike now?)
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! This list is evergrowing! Please feel free to add to it!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)


	58. Let's Play Ball!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been super patient and for that I'm grateful. 
> 
> If you guys stalk me on tumblr, you may already know, but in case you don't, I actually lost vision in my right eye for the last two days, hence the late update. I hit the back of my head and apparently the brain likes to do funny things when dealing with trauma. Like cause temporary blindness. Typing with only one eye is kind of difficult but I think I could do it in the future if I ever pursue my dreams of piratehood.
> 
> That being said, I will respond to all of your lovely comments last chapter but it may take me a little bit of time.

“Does everyone understand the rules?” Frisk asked. The monsters and humans nodded. Undyne, Alphys, Toriel, Asgore, Mettaton, Papyrus, Jeremy, Sans and yourself stood on one side of the fence listening to the small child. Frisk smiled as everyone answered affirmatively. “Okay, well I think we can split the teams evenly. Uh, oh, we do need a referee though.”

Sans raised a hand. “heh, i don’t mind. i’m pretty tired from all the work i’ve been doing.” 

Undyne raised her eyebrow at him. “Didn’t you just sleep in the sand and eat ice cream with the queen?” 

“it takes a lot of work to keep up with royalty,” he winked. 

“Uh, aren’t the teams uneven now?” Alphys asked. You brightened up at the scientist’s observation. 

“Oh yeah! Totally! Uh, you know what, I’ll totally sit out too!” You over eagerly volunteered. 

Jeremy smiled. “Oh yeah...I forgot about this.” You shot the man a warning look.

Papyrus glanced at the human male. “Forgot about what?” 

“Oh nothing.” Jeremy knew how much you hated volleyball. Okay, maybe not hated. Feared. You legitimately feared volleyball. The pressure of trying to hit the ball and failing in front of everyone literally made you shake. At least in tennis, if you really hit the ball wrong, you’d just have to restring your racket, not put ice on your black and blue hands. 

Before anyone could protest, you darted over to the sidelines with Sans and sat down on a towel. You high fived the skeleton who proceeded to flop down on his back. 

“It appears the teams are even once more,” Toriel observed. “Perhaps we should do boys vs girls?” 

The monsters murmured in agreement and split into two teams. The boy team consisted of Asgore, Jeremy, Mettaton (which he decided after much debate), and Papyrus. The girl team consisted of Toriel, Alphys, Undyne and Frisk. 

“Frisk, dear, would you like to trade places with me?” Mettaton asked.  
“No, but thank you,” the child thanked, “I’m going to be a girl today!” 

You gave a shout of approval as Sans chuckled.

Asgore looked at the teams. “Is everyone happy with the teams?”

Undyne stroked her chin. “I don’t know. This doesn’t seem too fair,” Undyne began.

“Why not?” Papyrus asked. 

Undyne grinned devilishly. “Because my team is going to kick your team’s butts!!” She seized the ball and served it across net. 

“Uh...hey, that’s not how you play,” you began, but it fell on deaf ears. The ball was smacked, slapped, punched and headbutted amongst the two sides. Despite the unorthodox methods, everyone seemed to be hitting the ball and getting it back over the net fairly well. After 5 minutes, nobody had actually dropped the ball yet…

Until Mettaton spiked the ball down onto Alphys’ face with a loud slap. The scientist stopped in her tracks and quickly placed her claws over her face as the ball rolled toward you and Sans. 

“Darling!! Are you okay?” Mettaton asked worriedly.

“Oh shit! That was awesome!” Undyne cheered as she ran to her girlfriend.

“I-i think I broke my nose,” Alphys moaned. 

Undyne placed a fin around her girlfriend. “Well let’s hope it turns into a scar.”

Alphys whined. “Oh no, a scar?” 

“Yeah! Chicks dig scars!” 

Alphys blushed as she applied pressure to her nose. “They do?” 

Undyne flashed a smile. “Well I do.” 

Toriel stepped in at this point. “Dear, perhaps you should sit down for a bit. Sans, would you be alright with grabbing her some ice?”

“s’now problem,” Sans nodded. 

“SANS!” Papyrus yelled. 

Sans chuckled, “alright, just be cool, pap.” Pap let out a strangled shout as Sans walked away. A few seconds later he was gone. Nobody seemed to notice when he had left. 

Alphys sat down next to you, holding her nose. You felt a pit settle in your stomach as the lizard monster groaned pathetically, despite her eager girlfriend’s encouragement. Something told you that Alphys would not be returning to the game which meant…

A shadow over you and you looked up hesitantly. Papyrus stood in front of you, beaming down at you and extending a hand. “Good news Lori! It looks like you can play afterall!” 

“Oh...joy,” You tried to sound actually joyful but you failed miserably at it. Alphys shot you an apologetic look as you slowly took Pap’s hand and he brought you to your feet. You caught Jeremy shooting you a thumbs up and you resisted the urge to shoot him a finger of your own. You took your place next to Toriel and Frisk. 

“Everything alright, my child?” Toriel asked, noting you beginning to tense. 

You laughed nervously. “Yeah-yeah. It’s just been a few years since I’ve played. I’m not really good at this game.” 

Toriel smiled warmly at you. “I’m sure you will be just fine.” You almost believed her and you began to relax. 

“YEAH!!!! LET’S DO THIS!!!” Undyne screamed at the top of her lungs right behind you. So much for relaxing. You almost went lockjaw at her intensity. “Ah sorry about that,” Undyne mumbled as Toriel shot her a disapproving look. You could do this. You could do this. Asgore hit the ball and it began to fly toward your side. You can do this. You can-

The ball soared toward you and you flinched. You couldn’t do it. The ball bounced painfully off your arms and deflected to the sand outside. You froze. Oh my god. It started. You quickly ran to collect the ball, using the opportunity to hide your face which was quickly reddening in embarrassment. You took in a shaky breath as you touched the ball. 

“You’re okay. You’re okay. You’ll hit it next time,” you hurriedly whispered to yourself as you picked up the ball and turned back to the monsters. You expected silence, maybe some awkward laughter at your expense. 

Your eyes opened in surprise as you saw Frisk jumping up and down. “Toss it! Toss it! Toss it!” He cried eagerly. You looked at everyone. Nobody seemed mad. Nobody seem disappointed. They were too busy watching Frisk run around excitedly. You exhaled shakily and tossed the child the ball who immediately tossed it over the net. You nervously chuckled and joined your team once more. 

Thankfully your initial hit turned out to be your worst. Because you did your very best to avoid the ball at all times. Sure, you managed to bump the ball haphazardly to a teammate or two. You slowly eased into it. You even got the ball over the net once. You weren’t tall enough to spike anything nor did you have the upper body strength for it. However, nobody seemed to mind and you almost started to smile. 

However, things started to change when you found yourself in the front row of the court. Jeremy was across from you, shooting you a devilish grin. “Don’t you fucking dare,” you threatened him, low enough for Frisk and Toriel not to overhear. 

“Hey, I sucked at volleyball too,” he protested.

“Past tense, sucked,” you pointed out. 

Jeremy grinned at you. “I’m going to spike the ball at you.” 

“The fuck?! Why?” 

“To build up your confidence, duh! Here goes!” The ball sailed his way and true to his word, Jeremy spiked the ball at you. 

You respected the ability of a person to face their problems head on. Heck, that’s how you preferred to handle situations usually. BUT NOT TODAY! You flinched and squealed instead as the ball smacked painfully off your chest, your arms flailing. 

“Are you okay?” You could hear Alphys call. 

“I think so.” You resisted the urge to swear out Jeremy and rubbed the quickly reddening skin. You tried to keep your smile as the game resumed.

The ball rocketed at you again and you panicked. The stance you had taken immediately fell apart and the ball slapped your shoulder painfully. You weren’t smiling anymore. You hated this game. Everyone was going to start laughing at you any second now. Don’t cry. Have some dignity. Try not to embarrass yourself. Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry you piece of shit. 

You blinked in surprise as the ball appeared in front of your face and you looked up in confusion. Papyrus looked down at you with a smile. “Hello human! You dropped the ball!” He gleefully notified you. 

“Take 5 everyone!” Mettaton announced immediately. “Especially you, your majesty!” He pointed, drawing attention to Asgore. “Can’t have your muscles locking up while doing very diplomatic things for monster kind!” 

Asgore nodded. “Oh. I suppose you’re right. Erm…”

Mettaton flashed a sparkling monitor at the king. “Why don’t you show us how you stretch before sparring? I’m sure we could all use some pointers!” 

“Erm, very well then. Well, first you spread your legs.”

“Ah yeah, I noticed,” you muttered. Papyrus appeared to pick up on your tone and he peered into your face. 

“Human? Is everything alright?” 

“And we want to spread them no farther than our shoulders. Then reach for your right foot.”

“She hates volleyball,” Jeremy confessed to Papyrus as he stretched.

“Jeremy!” You hissed. 

“And when we’ve done the right one enough, we go to the left one. Sometimes it helps to hum while you do this.” 

“You’re more like really afraid of the sport actually,” Jeremy continued as he reached for his left foot. 

You were mortified. That’s it. You were going to die right here and that would be fine. Papyrus looked just as stupefied as you. “Is this true?”

“...maybe,” you admitted, looking down at your feet.

“And then you will reach for the floor between your legs and hold it for a while.” 

Papyrus crossed his arms. “I’m afraid this won’t do.” Your shoulders sank. Yeah. You were pretty disappointed in yourself. A heavy hand on your shoulder shook you from your thoughts and you looked up into his eager sockets. “Never fear!! I shall teach you how to play!” 

“What?” 

“Seriously?” Jeremy asked.

Papyrus nodded. “Of course! It hardly makes sense for someone as influential and great as me to not share my expert knowledge and tips!” His modesty was simply overwhelming. 

“I have no idea how you’re going to teach me anything. I have no skill,” you admitted, “I was literally the last person picked when we played volleyball.”

“Preposterous! Surely you jest.” 

“And even then, I wasn’t allowed to get off the bench.”

“Eh...”

“I was incredibly unpopular. I cried after every game.” You clenched up at the memory.

“Ah.” Papyrus glanced around and pulled you away from the group. He scouted both ways before leaning down to your level. “Listen, a very long time ago, I once was not as popular as I am now.” You snickered and Papyrus scoffed. “I am quite serious. My follower count was in the single digits!” 

You giggled. “Okay, okay. Why are you telling me this?” Your shoulders untensed.

He beamed proudly. “Being popular or not popular doesn’t mean you’re not good at something. Nobody can be great at everything. Well except for me.” 

“Including swimming?” You asked, a sly smile taking over where you had grimaced before.

Papyrus’ sockets shifted. “Nyeh! The point is, just because you’re not good at something, doesn’t mean you’re not good. In fact, you can be really good at not being good!” 

Your head was starting to spin. “Huh?”

“In fact, I’m very good at not being able to swim! Do you understand?”

“I have no idea?” 

“Good.” Papyrus looked you over once more. “I see you have recovered! Come! Let us get back to the game! If we’re lucky, we can catch the end of Asgore’s stretch routine!” He exclaimed.

Recovered? You felt your cheeks and realized they were no longer burning with embarrassment. Your posture had relaxed. You had a smile, albeit a confused smile, but a smile nonetheless where a few minutes ago you had been grinding your teeth. You cast a suspicious glance at the skeleton but he smiled at you innocently. Did he just give you a pep talk disguised as confusing logic? And if so…it worked. 

You stepped back onto the sand as Asgore removed his left arm from behind his head. “Erhm, and that’s pretty much it,” he admitted. 

“Wonderful! Burgerpants! Did you catch that all on film?” Everyone glanced around. The cat monster was not here. Mettaton huffed. “Well, I suppose I’ll have to just settle for whatever my live feed picked up.” 

“Live feed?” Undyne asked. 

“Let’s continue playing!” Mettaton quickly announced. 

You squatted once more and got into position. “I’m gonna serve this so hard, it’s going to fly around the world at least 4 times,” You could hear Undyne boast from behind you. You felt your shoulders starting to tense.

Papyrus stood adjacent from across the net and clicked at you, catching your attention. “Just remember! Be good at not being good,” He advised. 

You looked at him incredulously. “Alright, now I’m really confused.”

“FORE!” The ball sailed over your head. Did he want you to suck more? Would that be considered getting better at getting worse? 

“Good form!” You heard Papyrus shout.

“Huh?” You clued in too late and realized you had successfully bounced the ball to Frisk. Did you just pass the ball successfully to a teammate? Yes. Yes, you did. Frisk set the ball to Toriel who proceeded to spike it at Asgore. Asgore dodged the ball, barely. He sprinted after the ball and lobbed it back into the field. Papyrus gently tapped it over the edge to you. You managed to flail good enough to pass it to Undyne. Who physically grabbed the ball and ran to the net. 

“Wait wait! You're not supposed to do that! You can't grab the ball!” Jeremy cried helplessly. 

Undyne either didn't hear him or didn't care. “This is for Alphys!” She hollered, tossing the ball down ferociously. 

Mettaton couldn't react fast enough and got smacked square in the monitor, knocking the robot down. The girl team cheered victoriously although Toriel did titter slightly at Undyne. “You devious little fish!” He cried out as Asgore helped him back up. Alphys buried her reddening face in her claws. 

“Oh my gosh you guys.”

“Sans, what's the score?”

“75 to 96.”

“What? How? The ball hasn't made it over that many times!’

“beats me, you guys must just be efficient.”

Mettaton dramatically flung the ball over and Frisk hit it to you. You kicked the ball awkwardly to Toriel who kneed it to Papyrus.

“She just kicked it!”

“You just said not to grab it!” Undyne argued. “Kicking is acceptable.”

“If royalty kicks the ball, then that is within the rules!” Papyrus stated. 

“Plus,” Frisk added, “it's more fun to kick the ball.”

The game carried out thusly as the ball continued to be slapped, kicked, punched, tossed, punted, and otherwise manhandled in such a way that would have been unacceptable to the Volleyball Association or whatever the name of the governing body that controlled sports were. 

It fully degenerated when Mettaton proceeded to “kidnap” Frisk and bring him to his side of the court. “If you ever want to see the human ambassador again!” He cackled evilly, “You will surrender the ball and all of your points!”

“Oh dear,” Toriel smirked, but Undyne was having none of that. 

“Oh yeah?! Two can play at that game! Papyrus!”

“Yes Captain Undyne!”

“I order you to kidnap yourself.”

“Uh…”

“Asgore, overrule her order!”

Asgore laughed sheepishly. “I think I'll let them figure it out.”

Papyrus hesitated but that was enough for you to grab his arm and yank him underneath the volleyball net. Well, sorta. His tall stature caught on the net and to your horror, yanked the net from its post and watched it cover the guard in training. 

“Oh my God, I'm so sorry.” You quickly grabbed parts of the net to disentangle Papyrus.

Sans chuckled and called out. “i didn't know you could fish. looks like you netted a big one.”

“Sans!” Papyrus yelled as you pulled him mostly out of the net.

“Run, Alphys! Run!” Your head whipped around to see Alphys holding the ball. She sweated anxiously. “Go for the touch down!” Undyne cheered.

“Oh ooh okay!” Alphys bolted as fast as her feet could carry her toward the end line. You spotted Jeremy make a motion to stop her. Your own feet propelled you forward and you shoved Jeremy down before he could even touch the scientist. 

“Sorry but not too sorry, Jeremy!” You taunted as you looked at his downed figure

“It’s cool. I had it coming,” he admitted with a groan. 

Asgore stood menacingly before the last line of the volleyball court. Alphys squeaked in alarm as she approached the king. She hesitated one moment before shutting her eyes and blindly running forward. To your relief, Asgore smiled gently and sidestepped the desperate dino. She crossed the line and continued to run an additional few feet before tripping over her feet and falling face first into the sand. 

Undyne yelled and swooped down on her girlfriend. “You did it, Alphys!” 

“I think I broke my nose…”

“This day keeps getting better!” Undyne cheered. “Victory hug!” 

Toriel and you snatched Frisk from a shell shocked Mettaton and practically collapsed against the other women. You won. Or at least that’s what everyone thought! Honestly, who cared? As you gathered in the group hug, genuine laughter poured from you lips as the girls and Frisk smashed each other in an over exuberant hug. 

The outpouring of joy immediately stopped when Undyne screamed. “THE FORT! THE FORT IS FALLING!!” She shouted, grabbing Alphys and running toward the sea.

“The fort?” You asked. Your eyes followed the departing Captain and scientist in time to watch “High tide,” you gasped. 

The ocean waves were beginning to ebb away at the structural integrity of their sand fort that you had seen them building only a few hours ago. The guard dogs were doing their best to place barriers of sand and dig holes for the water to fall into but there was only so much a small group could do against the very force of nature. 

“NGAHH!!!” You let out a battle cry and charged after the girls, a huge maniacal grin aglow on your face. 

Jeremy chuckled and turned to Papyrus who had been folding up the net. “See what I mean. Girls are crazy?” When he didn’t get an immediate response, he observed the skeleton. Papyrus’ mouth hung slightly open as he watched you charge toward the castle. The skeleton was awestruck. “Hello?” Papyrus shut his mouth into a proud grin. 

“Nyeh heh heh!! DEFEND THE FORT!!!!” He cheered, running after you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're entering end game as far as the date goes! (Again thank you for your patience). Anyone ever have an injury you had to power through? :D
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! This list is evergrowing! Please feel free to add to it!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)


	59. Bienvenidos a Las Islitas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!!! Tomorrow is Friday! I'm far more excited than I should be!!  
> That being said, on to the last part of the date! :D

The monsters and humans held out against the ocean for a good 27 minutes before finally Asgore declared the fort lost to the sea. Alphys had to practically drag her girlfriend from the castle debris as the finned warrior threw clods of sand at the water. The sun was beginning to descend as everyone packed up their belongings. “Goodness, I haven’t had this much fun in a very long time,” Toriel exclaimed as she folded her towel. 

Mettaton strutted proudly as BP packed up the tent, canopy and massive flag he had installed earlier that day. “Of course your majesty! Now, I hope nobody’s too tired but I have reservations for us all at Las Islitas.”

Jeremy perked up. “The little Mexican place by the beach?”

Mettaton nodded. “Exactly. I figured we could all walk there together. It’s not far,” he insisted. There was a general agreement about this and everyone began to walk in the direction of the restaurant. You had no doubt you were going to get cold soon as the sun continued to descend and you began to fish your sweater out of your duffle bag. Mettaton rolled up next to you and stopped you. “You won’t need that yet.”

“I won’t?” 

“No. I want you to open the bag when we get there,” Mettaton explained nonchalantly. You glanced at the robot but he didn’t say anything further. You shrugged. You doubted there was anything dangerous in that bag so it looks like you’d just have to wait and see. 

True to his word, the group arrived at the restaurant shortly thereafter. The little restaurant was certainly very pretty. There were Mexican flags and seashells lining the outside of the restaurant. It had an indoor portion of course, but it opened to an outdoor large patio that faced the ocean. It appeared a band might be setting up soon outside as you spotted a large speaker but you weren’t sure. 

Mettaton approached the hostess. “Reservation for Mettaton, dear,” he introduced himself. 

The hostess glanced nervously toward Toriel and Asgore. “Oh. Oh. I’m sorry but we can’t seat you here.”

“Excuse me?” You asked as a cold shiver set down your spine. Had you misheard the hostess? Judging by her face, you did not. 

Jeremy gave her a hard look. “Are you saying that you won’t seat them here because of their race?” He demanded. 

“Uh, well, wait.” 

Your friend leaned in. “That’s completely racist. Do you want a lawsuit on your hands? Monsters deserve the same rights as Humans.” You nodded in agreement. Mettaton observed Jeremy with renewed interest at his words. 

The hostess waved her hands. “No, no. I’m sorry. I absolutely said that wrong. I can’t seat you here because I’m afraid he’ll accidentally run into the ceiling fans since our roof is pretty low,” she explained hurriedly, gesturing to Asgore and to the ceiling. You blinked. 

“Oh shit, she’s right, Jeremy,” You quickly realized. Heck, even Papyrus was at risk of hitting those fans if he raised his hands too high in the air...and knowing Papyrus, it wasn’t an if, more a matter of when.

The hostess smiled gratefully. “Yes. So we’re getting some seats outside. I’ll have them bring out some space heaters if you need them.” She glanced at you. “Um, I will have to ask that you put on a shirt though. Although we are located on the beach, we do have a no shirt, no service policy.” 

You felt your face redden. How could you forget what you were wearing? “Oh yeah, right. Sure. Uh.”

“Do you have a restroom she could use?” Mettaton asked. 

“Of course.” 

“Excellent. Darling,” Mettaton cooed, giving you a slight push, “go ahead and open that bag in the loo. I’m sure we’ll be seated when you come back.” 

You nodded and went to the restroom. You entered an empty stall and opened the bag curiously. You stared into the bag. “Oh.”

~~~~~

Papyrus and Sans looked out over the ocean as the sun began to set. “I can’t believe how big the sun is,” Papyrus wondered as the two brothers watched the sun descend. 

“sure is bro. still can’t believe we made it up here at last,” Sans agreed, his shoulders relaxing. 

Papyrus squinted his sockets. “Hmm, looks like the fort has finally fallen,” he observed. Sure enough the sand fort’s make shift flag made from a piece of cloth and a lone stick was slowly taken out to sea by the waves. Sans opened his mouth to speak and Papyrus cut him off. “Make one joke about sand and I will disown you.” 

Sans broke into a good natured laugh. “alright paps.” He stretched. “so how’s your date going so far?” 

“Date?” Papyrus asked. 

Sans poked his brother in the chest. “yeah date. this is your second date with the human, right?” 

“Oh yes. I am, I mean it is.” Papyrus realized. Sans shot him a concerned glance. Dates were supposed to be stressful, Papyrus recalled! A battle of flirting and intellect and creative gift giving! Instead, thirty minutes ago, he was helping you throw buckets of water out of a moat and back into the sea. “Nyeh heh, we were having so much fun that I really forgot we were on a date,” he admitted to his brother, “so I guess it’s not going too well?” 

Sans winked at his brother. “actually bro, that sounds like a really good date.”

The taller skeleton blinked in surprise. “It does?” 

“yeah. maybe it would have been better if you had taken her top off sooner.” 

“I didn’t really think it would be that delic-" Papyrus stopped mid-sentence. He immediately colored as orange as the sun and turned on his brother, "Are you saying I did it on purpose?” He demanded. 

“don’t you mean on porpoise?” 

“That’s it! I’m disowning you!” Papyrus declared indignantly, trying to step away but Sans was faster and wrapped himself around his waist.

“don’t leave me pap!” Sans cried with a huge grin, “i’ll be bonely without you!” 

“NYEH!!” Papyrus tried to pry the laughing brother off of him. “Stop it! You’re going to embarrass me in front of-!” 

“Hey guys.” The sound of your voice made the skeletons stop fighting. They turned toward the voice and stared at you. “Something wrong?” 

“Ah, you’re different.”

Sans clicked his teeth appreciatively. “you look good, kid.” 

You smiled awkwardly. “Heh, thanks.” The theme of orange apparently had continued and now you were wearing a light orange sundress over your bathing suit. There was nothing flashy or glamorous about the dress. In fact, it was rather simple compared to many of the other outfits Mettaton had picked out for you. Yet the simplicity was flattering on your figure, hugging the curves of your waist without clinging to it and loosely flowing downwards until it ended just above your knees. 

Papyrus quickly disentangled himself from Sans and ran to an empty chair. You blushed slightly as he pulled it out for you and gestured quite animatedly toward the seat. “You may sit here, human! I have already taken the liberty of pulling the chair out far enough for you to comfortably sit on it.” 

“Thank you, Papyrus!” You thanked at his chivalry. You took a seat and scooted yourself in. He remained standing by you awkwardly, his hand still on your chair. “Um, would you like to sit down with me?” 

He nodded and quickly ran to the other side of the large rectangular table and sat across from you. Papyrus’ leg accidentally kicked yours in his attempt to seat myself and you chuckled at him apologizing. You felt someone tap your shoulder and you looked up to see Toriel and Frisk. 

“Excuse me, but would you mind if Frisk and I sit next to you? He seems quite smitten with you,” Toriel joked. 

“Of course not! Come sit down!” You scooted over a bit to make room and missed the sneaky wink Frisk shot Papyrus as the child plopped down next to you. Papyrus winked back. His dating coach had secured a prime position by sitting next to you. It would allow him to send signals to Pap with a reduced chance of you seeing them. Of course, you didn’t know that, but you knew something was up when you watched both males wink at each other. 

Sans sat next to Papyrus and visibly cringed when Mettaton squeezed in next to the older skeleton, flashing a flirty dimming of his screen at him as he did so. You rolled your eyes but smiled anyway. You didn’t even notice Alphys awkwardly twitching in the other seat next to you until you accidentally bumped legs with her and she immediately apologized profusely until you could convince her it was fine.

Asgore had seated himself across from the doctor as Undyne planted herself next to her girlfriend. In front of Undyne was Jeremy at the end of the table, feeling slightly intimidated next to the humongous goat king and muscular fish woman in front of him. 

“Let’s start with a round of drinks!” Mettaton announced as the waiter approached.

“sweet, got any ketchup?” Sans asked. 

Papyrus crossed his arm. “Sans! Why can’t you drink water like normal monsters?” 

“grillby never had water in stock. not my fault that i developed a taste for ketchup instead,” Sans shrugged. 

“Of course it is! You could have eaten at home more often!” Papyrus pointed out.

The waiter hesitated. “Uh, we don’t have ketchup but we do have bloody marys.” 

Sans raised a socket at him. “huh. doesn’t sound like a safe drink there, bud.”

Mettaton lit up. “Oh! It’s a drink made with tomato sauce,” he explained. 

“oh cool. yeah, let me get one of those. you want one, pap?” 

You looked up quickly from the menu at the exchange and met Mettaton’s monitor. He raised a finger to shush you. Bloody Marys were alcoholic. Did the skeletons not know this?

“I’m not sure,” Papyrus mulled. 

Mettaton beamed innocently. “Oh I bet he would love one! There’s vegetables and spices in it too! It’s almost like drinking marinara sauce!” Oh that sneaky robot bastard. 

“That does sound interesting. Very well. Please bring me the violent drink as well.” The server looked like he was about to ask for ID but then gave up because they were skeletons.

“Can I get a strawberry margarita?” You asked. The waiter nodded and did not card you either. Ouch. 

“Do you have tea?” Asgore asked. 

“We have Long Island Tea?” The server offered. 

“Oh, I have never had that type of tea before. May I have a pot please?” 

“Uh, I’ll start you on a glass and we’ll go from there.” 

~~~~~

The server turned and came face to fangs with Undyne. He let out a nervous yelp. “Oh! Hi! AH. Yes. What would you guys like to drink?”

“We want to try the pepper challenge!” Undyne asserted. 

The server sweated. “Uh, well how about a drink first?” 

“Pepper Challenge!” 

The server nodded. “Okay, I’ll go get some milk and let the chef know.” As the server departed, Jeremy turned to Undyne. 

“Pepper challenge?” Jeremy asked. 

Undyne grinned and pointed to the menu. “Eat the spiciest peppers the chef has to offer! If you survive it, you win a year’s supply of nachos!”

“S-survive it?” Alphys gasped. 

“That sounds like a terrible idea,” Jeremy agreed. 

Undyne scoffed. “Come on, you can impress Lori this way,” she prodded.

Jeremy folded his arms, glancing in your direction as you read the menu. “I really don’t think she would be impressed by how much gut destroying spicy food I could consume.”

“Yeah, that’s what a chicken would say,” Undyne snickered. 

The male dropped his mouth open. “Chicken? Haha, no way. What are we like 12?” 

“Cluck cluck cluck.” 

“Stop that.” 

“Bawk bawk bawwwwk!” Undyne clucked, waving her arms. 

“Fuck it. Hey server dude! Make that two Pepper Challenges!” He hollered after the departing waiter. 

~~~~~

You decided on tacos. You spotted the Pepper Challenge on the next page and pshawed. Yeah, what idiot would be stupid enough to do that? You looked up at the the end of the table to see Jeremy and Undyne pumping themselves up over something but you couldn’t understand what. You turned to Frisk and grinned. 

“Hi Frisk! What’s it like being 10?” You asked. 

The child smiled. “Pretty cool so far.” He turned to his mother. “Is this the age I learn how to drive?” he asked. 

“Not yet, my child,” Toriel answered gently. 

“Aw. Well it’s still a good year so far,” Frisk concluded looking up at you. 

“I’m glad to hear it.” 

“Hey, how much do you like my uncle?” The child boldly asked. You and Pap both jumped at the question, his knees jostling the table slightly, but nothing seriously. 

“Frisk,” Toriel admonished. 

“heh, tori, i think we should let him taco bout it,” Sans grinned. 

Toriel stifled a snicker. “It’s nacho problem, Sans.” 

“don’t be so chilli with me,” Sans retorted. You couldn’t think of any Mexican food puns yourself and quickly lost both Toriel and Sans to an exchange of groanworthy jokes. Which left Frisk free and open to ask any question he might have. 

“So like a scale from 1 to 10, how well would you say this date is going?” Frisk asked. 

“Uhhh, I’d say a 7?” you offered. 

Papyrus gaped. “A 7?” The skeleton puffed out his chest as he burst into Frisk and your conversation. “I believe my presence alone on this date would rank this date at least an 8.5!”

You laughed at the statement and Papyrus found himself chuckling along once he realized that you were not derisively laughing at him. “Well you are pretty amazing, so maybe you’re worth at least a 7.9.”

Papyrus nodded. “Absolutely!” 

“Oh by the way, hasn’t anyone ever told you not to eavesdrop on someone else’s conversation?” You rebuked. Papyrus made a motion to protest but stopped. He picked up his menu again and pretended to pay close attention to that instead. Frisk looked at you in concern but you sent him a gentle smile and he realized that you were not actually upset with the skeleton.

Frisk smiled and turned to you. “So how much do you like my uncle on a scale from 1 to 10?” 

You glanced over at Papyrus who was doing his best to appear nonchalant and totally not excited about what your potential answer might be. You grinned. “Let’s go with a 2 on that.” 

Papyrus jerked up at the answer from behind his menu. You were terrible, weren’t you? Of course you totally liked him more than 2, but watching him sweat and cringe was absolutely worth the little white lie. The waiter dropped off the margarita and bloody marys. 

Frisk continued his questions. “Who would you rather date? Me or Pap?” 

Papyrus opened his mouth to protest but he caught your eye. He quickly diverted his attention elsewhere and you focused back on Frisk. “Hmm...that’s a hard choice. Tell me some good things about yourself.” 

“Oh! I’m very smart and I work very hard. I like flowers,” Frisk began. 

You nodded. “Those are all very good.” 

“I can dance too!” 

You raised an eyebrow. “Dance?” The little boy pointed behind you and you turned to see a person tuning his guitar. Another individual was carrying on a microphone. 

“Do you like to dance?” You heard Frisk ask behind you. 

You turned around way too eagerly. “I love to dance. I’m not good at it, but I really really like dancing!” You glowed. Dancing was fun. You had only a small amount of formal training in middle school that was long since forgotten, but it was fun and you weren’t bad enough to injure other people when you boogeyed down. You looked toward your own dating coach to see if he was going to offer any advice for you. He nodded approvingly in your direction as if to say you are doing well. The robot flagged down the server in the meantime and held up one finger as you returned to the conversation in front of you. 

“Are those enough reasons to choose me?” Frisk asked. 

You overdramatically brought a finger to your chin. “You know, I’m sorry. I think I’m going to have to stick with the skeleton. Is that alright with you, Papyrus?” There was no immediate response. You looked at your actual date. “Papyrus?”

He was coughing and waved at you to show he was alright. How did skeletons cough without a throat but okay, whatever. He regained his breath and grinned at you triumphantly. “I am very flattered you have chosen me over the dating master,” he agreed.

Frisk turned to Papyrus. “How about you? Who would you rather date, Lori or me?” Papyrus blanched and you started laughing as you sipped your margarita. The server stopped by momentarily to drop off another drink and receive the food orders that Toriel and Sans had compiled from the rest of the table not engaging in the Pepper Challenge. 

“Ah, well, Frisk, your continued romantic interest in me should be expected. I am rather fantastic. But alas I just cannot reciprocate your intense feelings of passion for me.” You had to turn away in case you accidentally shot out your beverage from your nose from laughing too hard.

“Ah, I understand. So Lori wins by default?” Frisk asked with a wink. 

“Of course!” Papyrus proudly stated. 

“Aw, I’m flattered,” you purred. “First place because there’s no second place.” You were about to continue teasing him further when you paused. What caught your eye was him putting down an empty glass...next to another empty glass. “Papyrus, did you drink that entire drink...and another drink already?” You asked. 

The skeleton nodded. “Yes. Mettaton was right. This did taste like marinara but there was an odd aftertaste I couldn’t quite place.”

“That would be the alcohol.” Alphys stated. 

“Wh-what?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, Pap. Sorry dude. Any guesses as to how it'll affect him? And Sans? And while you're guessing, tell me what your favorite alcohol/non alcoholic drink is! ;)
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! Remember, if you can draw a stick figure, you're already better than me!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)


	60. The Effects of Alcohol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhh!!! Alright! I'm far more excited to get a chapter out today!
> 
> Let's see when you add human alcohol and monsters together! :D
> 
> (Sorry I haven't had a chance to respond to your wonderful comments last chapter! My phone decided to be goofy and I normally respond via mobile since actually sitting down and responding with a computer is a rare luxury)
> 
> Oh we can thank BlueBitterness for the pun in this chapter. You'll know it when you see it. :D

Any tinge to Papyrus’ face immediately drained away. He paled. “Wh-what?” 

Alphys sweated nervously. “The drink you have is alcoholic. I think it’s uh gin?”

“It’s vodka,” you corrected, watching Papyrus carefully. He seemed panicked. “Uh, Papyrus, are you okay?”

“This is alcohol?” 

“Yes.”

“Am I going to die?!”

“What? No. You’ll be fine. I think,” Alphys reassured somewhat. The taller skeleton’s anxiety caught Sans’ attention and he glanced over. 

“what’s up, pap?” 

“Sans! This drink has alcohol!” Papyrus squeaked. 

“huh.” Sans looked at his half empty glass and shook it curiously. “you sure?”

“Yes!!” 

Sans glanced at the drink, looked at Toriel and then at the drink grinning. “heh. it’s funny.” 

Toriel blinked in surprise. “What’s funny?”

Sans explained, “i heard alcohol was supposed to make women more attractive.” He eyed Toriel and shrugged. “you look the same to me. guess you can’t improve on what’s already beautiful.” 

Toriel blushed furiously and could not suppress a smile. Frisk looked between the two adults and began to push his goat mom. “Hey!!! Are you flirting with my mom?” the child exclaimed. 

"can't help it. she's got me in-coccyx-cated," Sans snickered.

"Sans!!" Toriel guffawed as Frisk continued to push his mom unsuccessfully.

Well, Sans was doing just fine with his liquor consumption so you turned back to Papyrus. He was fidgeting and his hands were folded awkwardly in front of him. With a sigh, you reached across the table and took both of his hands. “You’re going to be okay.” 

“Are you sure?” He asked. 

No. Not really. “Yes, I’m sure.” You told him, “You might just be a little bit tipsy is all because you downed those two drinks rather fast.” 

“Tipsy?” 

You bit your lip. “Uh, like your reflexes will be slowed down, you might feel warm, you may do things you don’t normally do...you may say things you wouldn’t normally say...out loud at least,” you realized as you eyed Sans. He was sporting a blush on his cheek as he spoke to Toriel. Ah. That might be a problem later.

“I don't think I have any of those symptoms,” Papyrus admitted carefully, drawing your attention back to him. Sure enough, there was no obvious blush on his cheeks, he appeared bright and alert. Either the alcohol hadn’t hit him just yet or he had a higher tolerance than Sans. Only time would tell. 

“Excuse me, can I have you move your hands? I need to put the dishes down.” You looked up quickly to see the waiter holding a platter of food. You realized you were still holding his hands across the table and let go of them sheepishly. “Thank you, hang on, you can hold hands with your boyfriend again real soon,” the waiter reassured you as he began to place tacos down the middle of the table. 

You reddened. “Oh, ha, uh, he’s not my uh.” You let your voice trail off instead and took a large gulp of your beverage. You heard more banging from the end of the table and you turned to see Undyne and Jeremy shouting about something again. What the hell was so interesting over there that required banging on the table with their fists? Jeremy caught you looking and gave an enthusiastic wave. 

“Human, would you like me as a boyfriend?” Holy crap. So much for being subtle. You jumped in your seat and turned back to the skeleton. Had he really just asked you that? What was your answer going to be? Yes?

“Uh what?” Real smooth, but it appeared to have worked. Papyrus began to fumble with his armor until he pulled out a piece of wrinkled paper. You looked at it curiously as you finished your drink. Somehow, you had the feeling you were going to be needing some liquid courage soon.

“I have written a list of why you should consider award me the position of boyfriend,” he began. Oh my god. You felt yourself inwardly cringing. You shoved a taco into your mouth. “Reason #1, I like you a lot. Reason #2, I think you like me a lot...eh, do you like me?”

You nodded. The list had completely destroyed whatever defenses you had put up. “Papyrus,” you began, “did you really write a list?” 

The skeleton nodded. “Of course! I find it easier to stay focused in a competition if I make a list.” 

“Competition?” You questioned. The skeleton seemed to freeze up at his own words. “What do you mean by competition?” You pressed. Was he competing with someone? You were starting to feel warm and your mind was more at 85% than 100% working order.

Papyrus glanced around anxiously. “Nyeh heh heh, well, human…”

You blinked. “Wait, weren’t we supposed to be competing with each other?” You slowly remembered your words from inside the employee break room. 

Papyrus looked immediately relieved. “Yes, that’s it. Right. Don’t you have a list of your own?” 

“No,” you admitted, “Where would I have put it? In my bikini?” Papyrus colored at the comment. You pursed your lips together. “Hang on. That list has been in your armor the entire time?”

”Yes.”

”Wouldn't it have gotten wet? You know, when you sank?”

Papyrus’ sockets widened and he observed the rest of his paper. “Ah. It does appear far less legible than when I wrote it. But worry not human! I shall decipher my own letter shortly.” Your ears perked up at the sound of a guitar being strummed. Looks like the band was beginning to play. Papyrus didn’t seem to notice. But the strawberry margarita you just had did.

“I want to dance,” You announced out loud. 

Papyrus didn’t seem to hear you. You debated tapping him to get his attention when someone else tapped you on the back. You turned to see Frisk standing behind you, holding his mother’s paw. “Hi, let’s dance.”

You motioned to Toriel. “Aren’t you dancing with your mom?” 

“Yeah, but I want everyone to dance,” Frisk explained. You looked at the dance area of the patio and watched as humans began to congregate. You looked at Sans who was busy tapping his hand on the table. 

“You coming to dance, Sans?” You asked.

The shorter skeleton shook his head. “nah, i’m good.” 

Toriel winked. “Well, if you hear them start playing the mom-bo, come on out. It’s my favorite dance.” Sans’ brow furrowed and he repeated the phrase silently until he got the pun and grinned proudly at the departing goat Monster mom. 

You cast one more look at Papyrus but he seemed too involved with the piece of paper to realize you were leaving. Guess Papyrus wasn’t that much of a dancer. You followed Toriel and Frisk to the dancing area where they had formed a small circle with one or two other women. You were about to join them when a hand tapped your shoulder. You felt your chest beat quickly. Papyrus must have followed you. 

You turned around quickly and to your dismay came face to face with a nervous Jeremy. You were about to question it when he cut you off quickly. “I will give you a mountain of gold if you save me from Undyne.”

You looked behind him at the table. “What did you do to Undyne?”

“I agreed to the Pepper Challenge.”

“You idiot!” You gasped. You grabbed his hand and yanked him with you into the midst of the now crowded floor. You might not have intense passionate feelings for him, but you would be damned if you let him commit gastric suicide. Only once you both were hidden in the middle of the crowd did you stop pulling him. You let go of his hand and held yours out to him. “Okay. Hand it over. Mountain of gold. Gimme.” 

You were caught off guard as he instead took your hand and jerked you closer. “Shoot. I misplaced my mountain of gold. Will some golden dancing moves work out?” 

You bit your lip. “I guess, but uh.” You recovered your hand from his and scratched the back of your head. “I mean, I’m on a date with Papyrus right now. You guys seem to be cool with each other and all but I think that would make Papyrus upset if I danced with you,” you explained.

Jeremy laughed awkwardly. “Ah man, yeah you’re right. I didn’t think about that. I just was kinda hoping we could dance because I’m not really that good and I know you wouldn’t laugh at me.” He chuckled. “Well not too much at least.” 

Jeremy didn’t know how to dance? Shit. Some things never changed. “You don’t need to know how to dance!” You protested, “I don’t know how to dance but I’m having fun!” You swayed back and forth with the music with a smile. 

“But you’re so confident and it looks so good!” 

You answered honestly. “I can just keep a beat and that’s really it.” On cue, you managed to back up and step on someone’s toe. “Shit, sorry, sorry,” You apologized with a half smile before returning your attention back to your friend. “See!” 

“Losers of the world unite!” Jeremy declared. He glanced sheepishly at you and held out his hands gingerly. “Just one dance...please?”

You sighed. One dance couldn’t hurt, right? You placed your hands in his. “No touching my butt or we’re going to have a bad time,” you threatened him with a smile as you both began to dance. 

“A bad time? Gah, never heard you say that before.” 

“I picked it up recently. Tossing it around a bit before I decide to use it or not. Do you like it?” You asked, laughing inwardly at a joke that wasn’t funny at all. 

“Gives me the heebie jeebies,” Jeremy admitted. 

“Good.” You began to relax a bit as the music continued. Someone was singing in Spanish as the guitars strummed along with the tapping and shuffling of feet. Dancing was fun and you allowed yourself to be swept in the moment of the rhythm as you swayed and bumped into and were bumped back by those laughing around you. 

Jeremy drew you slightly closer with a smile. “Hey, do you mind if I try to spin you?” 

“Spin me?” 

“I dunno what it’s called. You know when the guy uses the girl like a yo yo out to the side?” 

“Oh.” You had no idea what the move was called either. “Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. Uh, don’t know what it’s called.” 

“Think you would ever take more dance lessons to find out?” Jeremy asked.

“Hell no. I’m quite happy with my level of ineptitude,” you cheered, “Let’s just call it yo-yoing.” 

Jeremy smiled. “Alright, get ready to be yo-yoed.” He wound you up close to him so your back was up against his chest and held you there for a few secondss. His cheek pressed against yours tenderly for a moment before he flung you out. You shut your eyes as he twirled you out...and then let go? The force of which you thrown outwards made you lose your footing without your counterbalance and you flailed somewhat until he took your hand again and pulled you in sharply. You rolled along his arm, squealing at the centripetal force until you landed against his chest. 

You laughed and looked up at Jeremy’s face only to freeze. The alcohol managed to keep you warm at what would have most likely sent a chill down your spine. You started in surprise and you felt glued to the spot. A red glove securely held the hand that you thought you had handed to Jeremy. Two empty sockets looked down in surprise at you. “Hello Lori,” the figure greeted cheerfully. You felt your heart beat increase.

“Papyrus!” You gasped. “Uh, hi-hi!” You gulped. “Uh where’s Jeremy?” 

Papyrus’ sockets narrowed at the question. “Not here,” he answered coolly. That was kinda spooky how he said that. You glanced around for your friend who was completely gone. Papyrus did not break eye contact from you. “I believe Undyne collected him to engage in his previous engagement with the peppers.” 

You would have felt bad for the poor bastard but by the way the skeleton was watching you made your own stomach flutter and churn. Your feet felt unglued and you tried to step back but Papyrus stepped forward with you, maintaining the close distance. “So now it’s just you and me!” He asserted, his eyes lighting up. 

“And a group of dancing people!” You quickly pointed out. Yes. Witnesses. Witnesses were important. 

Papyrus seemed to blink in confusion and observed your surroundings. “Oh wowie!” He realized. “Ah, forgive me, I actually wanted to tell you something.” He released your hand and puffed out his chest proudly. “Human, I, the Great Papyrus, will dance with you!”

“Oh!” You gaped at him.

Papyrus nodded and drop his hand loosely around your waist. “I was going to tell you when I first saw you on the dance floor before I saw you with…him.” Papyrus’ sockets narrowed as he shot a dark look in another direction. Gah. No. No. Your eyes widened as you felt one of his hands clutch against your back somewhat possessively. Why was he acting like this? He had only consumed two drinks and had seemed relatively unaffected. You weren’t sure what was going on but you were putting a stop to it now.

“Yes! I'll dance with you.” You agreed. He relaxed and looked down at you. 

“Yes?” He looked surprised that you agreed.

“Yes!” You reassured, confidence returning full force as the music went back into full force. People were becoming more boisterous around you. 

“You want to dance with me?” 

“Absolutely!” You smiled broadly. You were psyched. You were going to dance with a skeleton! 

Papyrus looked unsure. “Are you su-?” 

“For fuck’s sake, yes. Take me!” You practically yelled at him. He appeared taken aback by your words but was quickly beginning to grow excited. A couple of people gave you an odd look and you blushed furiously. “Not what I meant!” You quickly corrected. Before the skeleton could recover, you grabbed his hand and pulled him after you. 

You missed the disbelieving smile and giddiness that Papyrus exuded as he trailed you through the crowd. He cast one final glance backwards and caught the eye of Undyne. He gave a friendly wave to as she dragged a familiar unwilling human away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I scored a day off tomorrow! So expect another chapter sooner rather than later! :D
> 
> Got a favorite song to dance to? Any song remind you of a particular Undertale character (other than their own theme song)?
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! Remember, if you can draw a stick figure, you're already better than me!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)


	61. A Coach's Work is Never Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will be an interesting chapter. We will have multiple POVs this time. It's not something I do often but I feel to really appreciate the entire night, it would be kind of fun to do. 
> 
> Remember ~~~~~ = POV/scene change

15 minutes earlier...

Mettaton bent the metal utensil in half as he watched you leave Papyrus behind at the table. No, no, no. This wasn’t the plan. You and he were supposed to go dancing together and provide him with photos for his gossip column! But Papyrus, bless his little naive heart, was trying to read some crumpled dirty letter. The robot’s monitor flashed as he spotted the other human male discreetly leaving the table and follow you onto the floor. 

“Ugh. Must I do everything myself? Miss, I’m sorry. Can I get another one of these? Double the vodka if you can, I’ll pay the extra.” He thanked the waitress as when she brought him the chilled beverage. Mettaton got up and carefully snuck past Sans who seemed to be enjoying watching Toriel and Frisk wiggling and jumping excitedly. He managed to slink in between Asgore, who was watching anime of Alphys’ cell phone, and Papyrus. 

The skeleton still had not heard the robot’s arrival. Mettaton eyed the note carefully and his processor fluttered. Had he tried to write you a love note? This was one of the many reasons why Mettaton had a soft spot for the gentle skeleton. He stole a glance toward the dance floor. Jeremy had found you and you were both heading deeper into the crowd on the floor. Damn. Mettaton eyed Papyrus again. Gentle and polite was nice but he really needed the skeleton to take a more aggressive approach.

“Papyrus! Quick! Drink this! Hurry!” The star ordered, thrusting the drink against the skeleton’s face. The action caught Papyrus off guard and he immediately downed the entire beverage in a few gulps before he realized what he had done. 

The sound of Papyrus choking quickly drew Sans’ attention who turned to witness the end of Mettaton’s deception. Sans’ sockets narrowed and he stood up quickly. “what do you think you’re doing?” he demanded. 

“Mettaton!” Papyrus coughed. “What did you give me?” 

“I’m helping your brother out!” Mettaton insisted.

Sans’ eye glinted dangerously. “how is boozing my little brother up more helping?” 

Papyrus panicked. “Was that more alcohol?!” He gasped. 

“I need him to go get my student back.” 

“Get your studemt back?” Papyrus looked to where you had been sitting only to see that you were gone. He stood up, somewhat unsteadily to Mettaton’s delight. His eyes revealed his confusion at the slight miscommunication between his mind and his body but he gritted his teeth and resolved to continue. “Where is she?” 

Mettaton crossed his arms. “My dating protégé asked you to dance and when you did not respond, she went to go dance alone.”

“Alone?” 

Mettaton dimmed his monitor coyly. “Well, maybe not alone anymore. She had a suitor following her last I saw.” 

The words’ meaning did not really register to Papyrus initially, but when they did, the response was immediate. His hand crumpled the note and he stood up taller. The normally chatty skeleton was quiet. Sans shot a suspicious glare to the robot. 

“did you have something to do with this?” 

“Sans! What an awful accusation!” Mettaton gasped, placing a hand over his chest dramatically. “You think I would just stand by and watch some other man sweep her off her two left feet?” 

“yes.”

“Two left feet?” Papyrus asked. 

“it’s a nice way of saying she’s not a good dancer,” Sans explained. 

“Ah.” 

Mettaton waited for Papyrus to do something but the skeleton stood there, conflicted. Mettaton sighed. Love needed more than a push right now. The robot shrugged. “I did not realize that the Great Papyrus would admit defeat so quickly.”

Papyrus blinked in surprise. “Defeat?”

“Perhaps, your feelings for my student are simply platonic.”

“I assure you they are not.” Papyrus asserted.

“Darling, you're going to have to show me.”

“…Do you want me to read my list?” Papyrus asked. 

Mettaton’s monitor flashed. Papyrus hesitated as his mind got somewhat cloudier than normal. The robot seized the opportunity. “Are you a monster of action?”

“Yes!”

“Then go out on that floor and take her by any means necessary!”

Papyrus jumped at the order and looked to Sans. To his surprise, his older brother shrugged. “it’s up to you, pap. you can go after her or you can wait here and hope she comes back.”

“And while you're waiting, I wonder how long it will take that other human to wrap his arms around her waist, and draw her close and whisper sweet words in her ear-!” Mettaton didn't even have to finish.

Papyrus’ eye flashed an angry orange. He stomped a foot down and straightened his scarf and entered the dance floor. Mettaton could have patted himself on the back. He really must patent his methods of motivating people. He was getting quite good at it. 

“Finally!” Mettaton gasped.

Sans glared at Mettaton. “if anything happens to pap because of your advice, i will personally dismantle you.”

“Of course, darling.” He quickly left Sans to his own devices and rolled to Undyne. “Hello Undyne...Good God what are those on the table?!”

On the table lay a platter of colorful, gnarly peppers, each one more deformed and sinister looking than the last. Undyne looked up. “Hey, Mettaton. This is the Pepper Challenge. Jeremy and I were supposed to do it but I don't know where that shrimp has gone to.”

Mettaton lit up like a Christmas tree. “Ah! I know exactly where he is. Papyrus is going to try to take Lori back from him.”

Undyne smirked. “Really now? What makes you say that?”

“Because I just gave him enough alcohol to knock out a grown man and told him to go get her. By any means necessary.”

Undyne smile faltered and she narrowed her eye at the robot. “You're serious?” Mettaton nodded. A bloodthirsty grin erupted on her face. “Guess, I better go see if Pap is going to need some back up.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea!” Mettaton cooed. Undyne took off into the crowd. Mettaton felt something tap him gently and he turned to see Alphys. 

“Hey, uh...if anything happens to Undyne...I’m going to be really upset,” she said quietly. 

Mettaton patted her on the back. “I know, honey, I know. Trust me.” 

~~~~~

It didn’t take long for Undyne to catch up to Papyrus. To be honest, it wasn’t that hard to track down a tall skeleton amongst a group of humans but that was beside the point. He was standing when she finally approached him. “Hey Pap, I heard we’re going to beat up someone,” Undyne greeted. He did not respond nor glance in her direction. Undyne looked at his face. “Yo! Pap! Hello? What are you looking at?” She turned to see where he was watching and paused. 

It was you and true to that tin can’s word, you were not alone. Jeremy held both of your hands and between you both, you guys managed to fumble through the music. “It looks like she’s having a lot of fun,” Undyne heard Papyrus mumble. 

Undyne gritted her teeth. Despite your lack of finesse, you did appear to be enjoying yourself, laughing and smiling as you jumped around. Whatever resolve Mettaton had instilled in Papyrus with both bravado and alcohol was beginning to melt away in light of Papyrus’ niceness. The fish monster watched her friend take a step backwards as neither you nor the other human seemed to have noticed their presence. 

Undyne was having none of that however. “Fuck that.” She began to march toward you. 

Papyrus quickly clung to her arm. “Wait, Undyne!” 

“My best friend is on a date with that human and I’m going to make sure that he is going to have a great time!” She argued, slapping a fin on Papyrus’ shoulder.

Papyrus softened and released her arm. “Aw, Undyne, thank you.” 

Undyne nodded. “So I’m going to tackle that guy so you can make your move. You ready?”

“Ready? Tackle?! I don’t-oh!” Papyrus nearly jumped as the fish monster lunged toward your friend. Just as Jeremy had tossed you out, Undyne tackled the unsuspecting male with a loud oof! Any noise Jeremy attempted to make was immediately squelched as she knocked the wind out of his chest. 

Pap’s eyes darted back to you who seemed to be teetering on falling over without the human male to hold your hand. He leaped forward instantly, grabbing your outstretched hand and tugging you back from your near accident. He couldn’t help but smile as he felt you roll against his arm and finally land with a giggle against his chest. Your laughter was absolutely contagious and his hesitancy quickly melted away as he held your small frame in his arms. You continued to laugh until you actually looked up into his face. Your laughter stopped. 

A dead weight set in his chest at your expression of...fear? Your face was flushed with exertion and the giddiness with which your feet bounced vanished as you became rooted to the spot. He tried to bury the growing sense of nervousness and instead, adopted the smile you had worn just moments earlier. “Hello, Lori!” 

“Papyrus!” You gasped. “Uh, hi-hi!” You gulped. “Uh where’s Jeremy?” 

The mention of his competitor’s name made his chest clench again. It felt very similar to what he had experienced when he had spotted the male rubbing the sun armor on you before you had a chance to explain why. Except it now felt much worse. He felt his smile drop slightly. “Not here,” he found himself answering to you. You looked startled at him and that only cemented the painful feeling that was clenching his chest, especially as he watched you look for your friend. He sighed. He did not want you to worry. “I believe Undyne collected him to engage in his previous engagement with the peppers,” he admitted. 

You still weren’t smiling and you stepped back cautiously. Papyrus felt his confidence falter even more at your now timid nature and he took a step forward before he could stop himself. At the very least, it kept you from walking away. He tried to regain his smile. “So now it’s just you and me!” He informed you gleefully...a little too gleefully, he realized. You seemed to pick up on the over exuberance. 

“And a group of dancing people!” You quickly pointed out.

What did other people have to do with this? Papyrus pondered that thought in confusion before he realized his surroundings. How could he have forgotten that you and he were both here...now...on a floor for dancing? “Oh wowie!” He realized. “Ah, forgive me, I actually wanted to tell you something.” He swallowed. He was determined to make you happy. He released your hand and puffed out his chest proudly. “Human, I the Great Papyrus, will dance with you!”

“Oh!” You seemed terribly surprised at his admission. 

Papyrus nodded. “I was going to tell you when I first saw you on the dance floor before I saw you with…him.” Papyrus felt that painful spikiness clench his chest again and he found himself grinding his teeth. He was not having favorable thoughts to your friend despite the fact that he had done nothing untoward to either of you and that made him feel even guiltier. Your voice brought his thoughts back to the current situation.

“Yes! I'll dance with you.” You agreed. The spikiness of the grip began to abate as you smiled up at him. 

“Yes?” He looked surprised that you agreed.

“Yes!” You reassured. His confidence was increasing again at your confirmation but Papyrus pressed more. You had been nervous before and despite your smiles now, the last thing he would want to do would be to force you an activity you had no formal training into.

“You want to dance with me?” 

“Absolutely!” You smiled broadly. 

Papyrus pressed once more. “Are you su-?” 

“For fuck’s sake, yes. Take me!” You practically yelled at him. His nervousness all but disintegrated and he resisted the urge to take you at your word and carry you off in his excitement. “Not what I meant!” You quickly corrected to the humans nearby. Before he could recover, you grabbed his hand and pulled him after you.

Papyrus spotted Undyne dragging your friend back to the table and waved gratefully at her. She returned the wave with an equally excited level before vanishing into the crowd with her unwilling prize. Papyrus realized he should have felt guilty but he was having a very difficult time doing so as you pulled him along excitedly. This was it. This was his chance. 

You turned to face him and he froze. Your eyes sparkled up at him as you reached for his other hand. Your eagerness was intoxicating and he held both of your hands gently. He resisted the urge to pull you closer and instead looked at your feet shyly. 

“Oh. How strange. You have a right foot after all!”

Your face contorted in confusion. “What? Of course I have a right foot.”

“I had been informed you were in possession of 2 left feet.”

“What?” Your smile faltered a bit as Papyrus continued to speak amicably. 

“Yes. I was under the belief that it was due to your feet deformity that you did not dance well. But I'm glad to say that is not the case because you have one of each foot and this is something that proper training can resolve rather quickly.” 

You stared at the skeleton in shock. “Are you saying that I'm a bad dancer?”

Papyrus' voice died in his throat and his mouth hung open in realization. “Nyeh!”

You let go of his hands. Papyrus immediately looked concerned. Was this the deal breaker? You immediately broke into a huge laugh. “Oh man!!! You’re such a dork!! Don't go telling people they suck at dancing unless they ask you. it's rude.” You laughed, wiping a tear away from your eye.

“Oh, I'm sorry about that human! I did not mean to hurt your feelings.”

You grinned and grabbed his gloves again. “Just be careful next time. Now, just shut up and dance with me!!” 

“Gladly!”

~~~~~

Jeremy sat glumly at the table next to a cackling Undyne. “You didn't have to tackle me,” he informed her irritably. 

“But man your face was so amazing!” Undyne insisted. She watched as he looked toward where you and Papyrus were now visibly dancing. “Listen, I'm a fair monster alright. So here's what I'm going to do for you.” She pointed to the pepper dish sitting in front of the human. “When you finish all these peppers, I will let you go and dance with Lori again.”

Jeremy brightened considerably. “Really?”

Undyne nodded. “Yup. So go ahead and woahhh!!” Undyne gasped as the human grabbed all 10 peppers and shoved them all in his mouth at once. He swallowed as he stood up, wiping his face with a triumphant grin. 

”Booyah!” He gloated, pushing in his chair and beginning to walk toward you once more. 

Undyne whistled as she watched him walk away. “Well gotta hand it to him, he brought his A game. Hey Alphys, how hot did you say that Naga Viper was?

“Uh…1,349,000 on the Scoville Heat Scale.”

“Huh. That seems hot. And you’re saying that this was the least spicy pepper on the plate?”

“Y-yesh. He's probably going to feel it any second now,” Alphys grinned. 

Sure enough, the human had only managed to traverse a few feet before coming to a dead stop. He wavered unsteadily and attempted another step forward only to clench his stomach. He let out a loud pathetic groan and made a mad dash to the restroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I were you guys, I wouldn't miss the next chapter.
> 
> Btw, I love asking you guys questions. I'm not sure if you guys like it or not. Let me know if it bothers you guys and I'll stop. That being said, any of you guys know how to dance? Formal/informal training? (I will be hassling you guys for help with future chapters- hint hint)
> 
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! Remember, if you can draw a stick figure, you're already better than me!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)


	62. Fucking Finally!! (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for sticking around. Remember that ~~~~~ = POV change
> 
> You're going to need it for this chapter. 
> 
> I really had no idea what to name this chapter and this is the only thing I could think of. Please don't judge...or if you're going to judge, come up with a better title and I'll use it.

The music was picking up again as you and Papyrus took to the floor once more, this time fairly close to Frisk and Toriel. Frisk spotted you and he wiggled his hips at you. You laughed and wiggled back. Papyrus moved his weight from one foot to the next, trying to figure out the battle techniques, er dance moves of those around him. You caught him looking around rather flustered and you grabbed both of his hands, drawing his attention back to you.

“You okay?”

“Yes, just ah, I do not have much experience dancing,” Papyrus admitted. You raised an eyebrow at the modest response from the normally confident skeleton and smiled disarmingly at him.

“I’m not very good either, but I do know a few moves. Uh, I’ll teach you one. It works for this type of music. It’s called the Cha Cha.”

“Cha cha?” Papyrus echoed.

“Don’t worry, it’s actually not that hard. It’s only got 2 steps...er maybe 3?” You thought out loud. Your unsure answer didn’t appear to faze Papyrus however and he stood to attention.

“Excellent! Teach me your defense moves!” Papyrus declared

“It’s dan-oh forget it. Sure. Um, so I need you to put your right foot forward-yeah! And I’ll move my left foot back at the same time. Right! Now that’s the first step!”

Papyrus looked at his feet and yours. “Did you want to step forward first?” He asked.

“Nah, I’m good. Okay, Now, you’re going to step backwards to your original position. Now, uh, step up and down in place three times. Or shuffle I guess. Uh, yeah, that’s pretty much it. Cool. Now you step back with your left foot and I’ll step forward with my right. Good. Now step forward back to your original position, do the shuffle and that’s it.”

“Really?” Papyrus asked, “That seems very simple.”

“Yeah, haha, well it takes some getting used to.” You did not volunteer the fact that it took you nearly 2 weeks to do this dance without tripping over your shoelaces. “And honestly, we are doing it very slow. As you get more used to it, you go faster.”

“Haha, still! I feel this challenge shall soon be mastered by the Great Papyrus!”

“Uh, there’s actually one more step,” You admitted shyly. Papyrus blinked. “But it’s totally not necessary and it’s only if you want to.” He nodded and you tried to muster up the courage to say it. That you would like him to hold you while you danced. Sure, holding hands in front was fine and all but that was for middle schoolers. You wanted to dance like the adults. “Actually, nevermind, it’s fine. Let’s begin.”

“Ah, one moment, human. I would like to try something.”

“Sure go for it.” You gasped as the skeleton snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you close to himself. “O-oh!”

Papyrus immediately looked alarmed. “Is this alright? I saw a lot of the other humans dancing like this,” he hurriedly explained.

Your face lit up. “Oh! This is fine! I actually like this...uh, but do you want to dance like this? You don’t have to do it because everyone else is doing it.”

Papyrus nodded. “Yes, I actually would like to dance like this...with you,” he added. You felt yourself blush at the addition to his statement. You couldn’t help but feel flattered.

“I’m sorry if I step on your feet,” you preemptively apologized.

“Do not worry, I have sturdy boots,” Papyrus reassured you.

You both went slow at first...and yes, you did step on his foot. He didn’t seem to mind however. You initially attempted to lead but soon found that he took that role rather quickly from you, gently guiding you back and forth with the music. After a while you could sense he was fairly comfortable with the move set and you decided to speed things up.

“Faster?” You asked.

“Nyeh heh heh!” Papyrus cackled and increased the tempo. You leaned into his chest with a snorting laugh and he appeared quite proud of himself. You guys spotted Undyne and Alphys and enthusiastically waved at the duo who were laughing really hard and eating nachos. Sans seemed to be discussing something with Asgore and Jeremy...uh...well Jeremy was nowhere in sight. Had he left? Had he died from the pepper challenge? You probably should go check. Even if you didn't really feel like doing it.

“Hey, Pap! Can we take a 10 minute breather?” You asked. The skeleton nodded and led you back to the group’s table, his arm draped around your shoulders. Toriel and Frisk followed suit. You noted with some hesitation that the conversation between Sans and Asgore had looked tense but as you and Pap approached, the two monsters relaxed. That was kinda weird but no one seemed to be upset so you shrugged it off.

Mettaton suddenly forced his way in between you two. “Hello lovebirds!” You both blushed...but neither of you denied it.

”Hello, Mettaton!” Papyrus greeted excitedly, “Are you having fun?”

”Oh, yes. Plenty. And so are my 10,000 Twitter followers!” Mettaton cheered. “I'm livestreaming this whole party with my new upgraded video capturing system!” He squealed.

”Oh awesome?” You laughed.

”It most certainly is!!” Mettaton confirmed. He eyed you eagerly. “now I need to borrow the human for a little bit.”

Papyrus’ fingers lingered a little too long as he withdrew his arm from around your shoulders. “Well, please bring her back to me soon, okay?” Papyrus asked politely.

Mettaton nodded. “Absolutely, darling. Absolutely.”

“Good. Come back soon please,” Papyrus asked as he removed his hand from your shoulders. You opened your mouth to tease him but your words failed you as you felt his teeth press against your forehead.

Was-was this a kiss?! Your eyes widened as you realized that indeed it was. Papyrus pulled away before you could react, blushing. You made a move to say something but the skeleton quickly backed up and bolted. “Oh God, that skeleton is going to kill me,” you heard Mettaton lament as you watched the skeleton retreat. The robot looked over at you and lit up. “Then again, his tactics seem to be working just fine for you.”

“Huh, what?” You asked.

Mettaton snapped his fingers. “Focus, Lori, focus. You both are neck to neck on this date!” He encouraged you.

You snapped back to reality. “Right. Yes. Got it. Uh, what do I do now?” You asked.

Mettaton waved his hand. “We must escalate the situation.” Which meant.

“I’ve got to kiss him back.”

The robot looked at you approvingly. “Look at you! Going right for the gold.”

You smiled goofily but your smile faltered quickly. “Uh, but you know, maybe I shouldn’t do anything at the moment. Maybe another day or something.”

~~~~~

“Papyrus!” Frisk called the skeleton as he walked past the young child.

“Hello, Frisk!” Papyrus greeted.

“Pap!” Undyne grabbed the skeleton and dragged him into a seat between her and Frisk. “What’s the plan?”

Papyrus blushed. “Ah, well I have kissed the human.”

“Atta boy, Pap!”

“On her head.”

“What?” Undyne asked.

Papyrus nodded. “Yes, I took a risk but I believe it went really well.”

Frisk glanced in your direction. “Why don’t you kiss her on the lips?”

Papyrus paled and looked all around. “In front of everyone?”

“Are you scared?”

~~~~~

“Mettaton, dude, you don’t understand.” You argued

“Well, if you're not scared...Do you really think that any of these people are going to care if they see you kissing a monster?”

“Uh, maybe? But that’s not the point,” You protested. You quickly looked around and didn’t spot the skeleton. You leaned in. “Okay, listen. I like Papyrus. Like like like like Papyrus,” you openly admitted. “But, ah, I just don’t know if he likes me that much back.”

~~~~~

“Of course I would kiss a human!” Papyrus protested, “Even in front of a crowd!”

“Then why won’t you kiss her?” Undyne asked.

“Do you like her?”

Papyrus shifted his sockets around but did not spot you. He leaned in to his two friends. “I admit that I do have greater than platonic feelings for her. And the thought of kissing her does sound pleasant. However, I would not want to do it if she did not like me like that.”

“Didn’t stop you before.” Undyne muttered, causing Papyrus to blush even harder.

Frisk remained determined. “I’m sure she likes you like that!”

“Are you sure?” Papyrus asked.

~~~~~

“Here’s what you’ll do.” Mettaton gestured toward a part of the dance floor near the edge closest to the ocean. “Imagine yourself over there, dancing with the dashing skeleton of your dreams. The music will slow and the world will magically stand still. You’ll look up into his sockets and purse your lips ever so slightly. And then wait.”

“Wait? For what?”

“For him to kiss you, dear.”

~~~~~

“How do I know if she wants me to kiss her?”

“She’s going to look at you like this with her big brown eyes and make a kissy face!” Frisk explained.

“Kissy face?”

“Uh, like this.” Frisk did his best over the top attempt to pucker his lips and make kissing loud noises. Papyrus paled.

“I have never seen her make that face.” Papyrus admitted nervously.

Frisk stopped making the face. “Well it might not look exactly like this. But, uh it’ll be close.” Papyrus scratched the back of his cranium as Frisk patted his arm. “Hey Papyrus, it’s okay. Don't worry. She'd going to do something and then you'll know that she likes you. Just remember that you've got to kiss her first.”

~~~~~

“Why?”

“If he kisses you first, you win.” Mettaton concluded.

You stood there soaking in this information. “Well, uh, I guess, I better go find Papyrus then.”

“No need, dear.” Mettaton purred. You turned around slowly to see Frisk dragging over a very nervous Papyrus. You felt Mettaton place a hand behind your back and propel you forward as well. You shot him a dirty look but quickly faced the skeleton again when he spoke.

“Ah, human, have you rested sufficiently enough to continue our defense moves?” Papyrus asked.

“Yeah, I think I have,” you nodded. Papyrus took your hand and you led him back to the floor. You both attempted to regain the same quick tempo as before, but you found yourself stumbling and even Papyrus tripped once or twice. The stopping point came when you accidentally rolled your ankle over a groove in the dance floor. The only reason you didn’t fall is that Papyrus had a firm grip on you and managed to support you as you once again got your bearings straight. “Ah, fuck, fuck,” you winced.

“Is everything alright?” Papyrus asked, watching you carefully.

You laughed nervously. “I’m alright, I’m just uh...did it get darker in here?”

Papyrus and you blinked and looked around. The hanging lights which had illuminated the floor had dimmed. Not only that, but the hurried and excited thrummings of the guitars were beginning to slow. You spotted the flash of something metal on stage and recognized the robot host attempting to take a selfie with the lead singer. No doubt, Mettaton had some influence over the sudden change of mood.

Papyrus gently tapped you on the shoulder and regained your attention. “Would you like to sit down again?” He asked.

Your ankle throbbed but you shook your head. “No, uh, maybe we should head over there,” you suggested, pointing to the secluded spot that Mettaton had pointed out to you, “I won’t run into any other people.” You mentally crossed your fingers and waited his response.

Papyrus looked at the place you had pointed to and seemed to be thinking about it. Slowly he nodded and you both walked over there. You pretended not to notice the thumbs up that Frisk shot to Papyrus. Instead, you took a deep breath and resumed the position you had taken earlier as Papyrus wrapped an arm around your waist.

Oh my God, were you shaking? You could feel yourself trembling...uh, was it you? With a slow realization, you realized that you weren’t the one shaking. It was Papyrus. You saw his bones actually shaking as he attempted to hold you securely. The knowledge that he appeared to be just as nervous as you comforted you and you leaned your head against his chest in an attempt to reassure him. It seemed to do the trick as you could hear Papyrus release a shaky breath and calm down, his limbs no longer trembling.

The music continued on and so did you. You found you were more slow dancing than trying to cha cha but neither of you seemed to mind. Your mind was racing trying to think what to do. Did Papyrus like you as much as you did? Did he want to kiss you? Would your foot hold out? You were about to dedicate more time to these questions when suddenly, Papyrus began to hum.

“Uh, Papyrus, are you humming?” you asked.

“Yes...is it bothering you?” Papyrus asked. His voice sounded close.

“No,” You smiled, looking up to see how close his head was, “it’s nice, I’ve just never heard you...hum before…” Your voice trailed off as you realized how close he really was. He was looking down at you, the orange blush coloring his cheek bones. There were only a few inches in between you both. It wouldn’t take much movement to bridge this gap.

Papyrus coughed. “I tend to hum when I’m nervous,” he admitted.

“Why are you nervous?” You asked. Papyrus seemed to realize that he vocally expressed these thoughts out loud because he stiffened and did not answer. “Papyrus?” you pressed, leaning up to him a bit, trying to look into his sockets.

~~~~~

Papyrus didn’t mean to admit that he was nervous but it was out there now and there wasn’t much he could do about it. Especially since you were getting closer to him. He tried to think of anything clever or brave to say in this moment of distress but his mind was failing him. He caught sight of your eyes gazing up at him and froze.

Frisk’s words echoed in his head as he looked into your big brown eyes. This! This was the first step to a kiss. A real kiss. But you weren’t making the kissy face! You were looking at him as if you expected an answer. He swallowed. “Lori...are you happy?”

Your lips parted into a smile. “Of course I am, silly.”

Papyrus forced his knees to stop knocking together. “Are you happy with me?” Your eyes seemed to get bigger at the question.

“What do you mean? Uh, I’m happy to hang out with you.” You explained. Papyrus mentally sighed and ordered his body to become steadfast. If he was going to do this, he needed to make sure what he meant to you.

“I mean, are you romantically interested in me?”

~~~~~

Your breath caught in your throat at the question. Well, shit. Your words were certainly coming back to bite you now, huh? Touché, Papyrus, touché. What had it been, a week ago that you asked that exact same question to this skeleton? The same skeleton who was now in front of you, his phalanges gently running up and down your arm, his other arm wrapped around you, holding you close to his chest, his sockets nervously watching your face…

Oh my God. He wanted to kiss you. And he wanted to kiss you because he was romantically interested in you. You resisted the urge to nod furiously but instead smiled. “What do you think?” you asked as slyly as you could. And with that, you pursed your lips, closed your eyes, leaned forward and waited.

~~~~~

“What do you think?” Papyrus had no idea what he thought because his mind was drawing a complete blank. He was doing his best to show that he was romantically interested in you but you hadn’t seemed to notice. He was still nervously watching your lips, trying to see if you were going to make the kissy face Frisk spoke of. His spine went erect as your lips finally began to open and you leaned closer to him. This had to be it! Papyrus went to lean toward you but froze.

Your eyes were closed. Didn’t Frisk say you would be still looking at him when you wanted a kiss? Or did he say that you would only look at him before the kiss? Nyeh!! Why couldn’t he remember right now!! You were still waiting. How long would you wait? Maybe if he had a few minutes, he could go ask Frisk real quick and come back to you.

Where was Frisk? Papyrus looked away from you to see if he could spot the young boy.

~~~~~

You were waiting longer than you would have liked and felt yourself beginning to heat up in embarrassment. You risked opening your eyes to see what the hell was going on. Well, Papyrus was still there, but he looked absolutely flustered. Had you totally misread all the signals? You couldn’t have. Could you?

You caught sight of Mettaton out of your peripheral vision. He seemed to be shouting the words, “Keep waiting!” You had to wait it out to win, right...but maybe you didn’t want to win anymore. If you waited any longer, your resolve was going to completely disintegrate. Papyrus was turning back toward you and you decided you had waited enough.

“May I-!” You didn’t let him finish. You leaned up quickly and pressed your lips against his teeth. You saw his sockets widen in shock. You shut your eyes and pressed more into the kiss, trying to ignore Mettaton yelling in the background. Fuck it.

Losing never felt so good.

~~~~~

Papyrus had to face the facts. There was no way he could kiss you until he had consulted with Frisk. He turned back to ask permission to go look for the young boy. You were looking up at him as he faced you once more. “May I-!” He began.

The next thing he knew, you were kissing him. YOU were kissing him. He completely froze. You were willingly kissing him. You WERE romantically interested in him! He could feel his heart pounding wildly as those familiar electric shocks began to warm and tickle his bones. His arms began to shake and loosen their hold on you as you put more force into the kiss. His chest felt like it was on fire. You kissed him first.

Uh oh. Papyrus’ felt a sense of apprehension at this fact. Frisk had explicitly told him that he needed to kiss you first. And he had failed. Which meant that this date was a failure? Papyrus couldn’t believe it, no he wouldn’t believe it. There was no way that he had failed. Failure never made him feel this happy and great. Yes, great. Failure did not exist for the Great Papyrus!

Regrettably, he felt your lips leave his teeth and your eyes opened once more, watching him curiously. “Papyrus?” Your voice brought him back to see you were still in his arms. He gazed you, still feeling the warmth in his chest, “Did you like that?” You asked worriedly.

~~~~~

Papyrus didn’t respond to your question and you began to feel yourself unnerving. Shit shit shit. Stupid idea. His arms were lax around you and you began to back out of them. “I’m sorry, uh, I guess I misunderstood,” you apologized.

Papyrus blinked as you tried to back away. “Lori.” The sound of your name made you freeze and you found yourself staring into Papyrus’ face, both of his hands clasping your shoulders. “I am romantically interested in you.” And with that, he pulled you into a passionate kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THEN THEY KISSED!! :D
> 
> Damn, I've been waiting to write this chapter for so long! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!! AHHHHH!!!. 
> 
> Uh, first kiss stories anyone? ;)
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> [Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
>   
>   
> 
> 
>  
> 
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
>    
> Fanart list from awesome people who you should totally check out! Remember, if you can draw a stick figure, you're already better than me!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107361845/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom Gif 1](https://68.media.tumblr.com/e615b4c82cb9e9d3830a08d29f58d383/tumblr_oc309vCbvX1vyrd84o3_1280.gif)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom Gif 2](https://68.media.tumblr.com/b61a7e637e89370e737ebd77b3dfd98e/tumblr_oc309vCbvX1vyrd84o2_1280.gif)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom Gif 3](https://68.media.tumblr.com/31a11a38cf48bf8c97015ebe1ca3a2cc/tumblr_oc309vCbvX1vyrd84o1_1280.gif)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)


	63. Aftermath (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have new art for the story! :D Zully strikes again with two images!! :D 
> 
> Would you like to see Undyne commit a felony against a police officer AND see a Pap dancing with reader?! Well now you can! Click on the link below and give Zully some loving! :D
> 
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> On to the final part of our date.

Your chest beat even harder than it had during the first kiss. You stood there in shock at the forwardness before allowing yourself to deepen the kiss, closing your eyes. Papyrus let out a small groan as you melted against his body, one of your hands brushing the vertebrae of his neck in an effort to pull him even closer. His gloves left your shoulders and began to disperse over your body. You let out a small moan as one of his hands traveled to your waist and pressed you tightly against him.

You had to remember to breathe through your nose, you realized, as you began to feel lightheaded from the stimulation and lack of oxygen. Papyrus placed his other hand behind your head, stroking your somehow still sandy hair affectionately. God, this was amazing! Papyrus really liked you. You needed more of him. You…

A cough caught your attention and your eyes shot open. Papyrus looked just as startled as you at the interruption and you glanced over to it’s source. Most of the monsters you had come with were standing there, watching you, a couple of them with big shit eating grins on their faces. Oh my God. You were in public! You both jumped back from each other and began to straighten your respective outfits.

“Oh, uh, yeah, uh, thanks for uhhh,” You tried to speak.

Papyrus was just as flustered. “With the thing. Yes, nyeh! We were just, uh-”

Sans had the biggest grin on his face. “hey pap, feeling a little tongue tied there?”

Papyrus immediately turned bright orange. “Sans! Don’t you dare!”

“i bet you think she’s a banana.”

“A banana?”

“because you find her apeeling.”

Wow, Sans was a lot faster than he let on as Papyrus charged after his older brother. You stood there awkwardly until Undyne slapped you heartily on the back.

“Now that was a good kiss!” She congratulated and you blushed.

Mettaton wheeled up to you proudly. “Of course it was. When you take advice from yours truly, everything turns out absolutely fabulous!”

“Ah, yes, thank you, Mettaton,” you laughed. Your laughter paused in your throat as you spotted someone watching you from behind the crowd and you squinted to see them better. A cold weight settled into your chest. It was Jeremy.

“Hey guys, excuse me one moment,” you apologized, walking past your monster friends. You walked over to Jeremy who was doing his best to smile but you could easily see he was unhappy. His shoulders were slumped and his smile was strained.

“Hi, Lori,” he greeted.

“Hi, Jeremy,” You greeted with a smile. You were both silent for a moment before you tried to speak, “Hey listen…”

Jeremy held up a hand. “You don’t need to tell me. The writing’s on the wall with this one.” He laughed weakly, “Plus, uh, I kinda saw things.” Your eyes widened and he quickly waved his hands. “Oh! Uh, I didn’t see everything. I’ve been in the restroom for the last 20 minutes getting milk through an IV line. But I saw how he kissed you and how you kissed him back.”

You nodded. “Yeah, ah, I really like him,” you admitted.

Jeremy sighed. “Yeah, I know. Listen, hey, no don’t be so glum. I gave it my all but ultimately it didn’t work out with us. I get it. I would have regretted it even more if I never tried at all,” your friend chuckled.

“Ughhh, Jer Bear, why do you have to be so nice about this?” You whined.

“Because you’re my friend, and ultimately I want you to be happy,” he smiled warmly at you. He held up a finger. “However, if he doesn’t treat you right, I will absolutely not hesitate to kick his ass.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to try to kick the 7ft tall Guard in training Skeleton’s ass?”

“Correction, I will say bad things about his ass and hope he gets it kicked by someone bigger than me,” Jeremy smirked. You both laughed and you smiled softly at him.

“Thank you, Jeremy. You know, for everything.”

“Can I have a hug before I head out?” He asked and you quickly enveloped in the biggest hug you could manage. “Heh, and now I will squeeze your butt,” he teased in your ear.

“Perv!” You shot back with a snort but he did not attempt to grope you. He pulled away and then brightened.

“Oh shit! I almost forgot. I’ve been lugging this thing around all day. Hey, can you give this back to Papyrus?” Jeremy asked, handing you a well worn book.

You looked at it curiously. “Sure, er, what is it?”

Jeremy chuckled awkwardly. “Uh, well it’s his Dating Handbook.”

You began to laugh. “What? Seriously? Oh man, I heard him talk about this but I didn’t realize it actually existed. Why do you have it?”

Jeremy rubbed the back of his head. “He loaned it to me to help me out since Frisk has been coaching him. Guess it wasn’t that helpful.”

You smacked your forehead. That skeleton was too helpful. You weren’t supposed to help out romantic rivals. “He tried to help you get with me?” You asked incredulously.

Jeremy laughed. “I guess so.” He smiled at you. “Listen, I’m sure we’ll see each other around, hit me up anytime you want to talk or play video games or something, okay?”

“Will do.”

“Oh real quick! Would you have been impressed if I ate a whole bunch of hot spicy food?”

“Sorta?” You admitted.

“Aw, dammit. Alright, now you can go,” Jeremy waved at you. You laughed and walked back to the monster group.

~~~~~

Jeremy sighed as he watched you go. You really did look lovely in that sundress, even if you were leaving to go with another man, er monster. “So!” A modulated voice shook him out of his thoughts and the human turned to see Mettaton and BurgerPants approaching him, the robot holding a credit card.

“Oh hello, Mettaton,” Jeremy greeted.

“Oh don’t hello me, you sneaky charming hunk you,” the robot tittered, “Do you know what I have here? I can make it multiple choice if you like, darling.”

Jeremy chuckled. “That would be my credit card.”

“Correct! I had been informed that you were attempting to pay for everyone’s meal. Thankfully, my loyal assistant Burgerpants here spotted the attempt and notified me.” Mettaton handed the card back to the human before pacing. “I was truly flabbergasted by your attempted generosity but I could not in good faith allow you to pay considering your salary...but then I noticed your last name.”

“Ah,” Jeremy squirmed.

“Your father is that attorney, Richard, yes?”

Jeremy smiled. “Actually Richard is my uncle. Yes. He is the monster attorney.”

Burgerpants looked confused. “Monster attorney?”

Mettaton resisted the urge to face palm. “Burgerpants, I prepared dossiers on this at the last meeting. Does nobody read the dossiers?!”

“Uh…er.”

Mettaton huffed irritably. “Well for those of us who don’t know. Shortly after we came to the surface, a monster tried to eat at a human restaurant but was turned away before he could even take a seat. The monster went to the police but since the restaurant hadn’t broken any existing law, they did nothing. No lawyer would take on the case either.” Mettaton shot an approving glance over at Jeremy. “Care to fill in the rest?”

Jeremy nodded toward Burgerpants. “My uncle took the case. Our family got a lot of death threats. My mom ended up hiring a lot more security to protect us...but after months of working around the clock, my uncle was able to convince local government to initiate rules protecting monsters against discrimination. Granted some places still refuse entry but they are becoming rarer. And now he’s in Congress, pushing through more legislation.”

Mettaton snapped his fingers. “I know your mother, Vivian! Quite intimately, I might add.”

Jeremy looked uncomfortable. “Uh...she’s a happily married woman,” he began.

“Cute, darling. No. Her company has been helping me advertise my MTT products,” Mettaton purred, “They’ve got that lovely little skyscraper building downtown.”

“Wait, wait. Little?!” Burgerpants choked. “That building is huge!”

“It’s quite miniscule compared to the plans I have when I upgrade my broadcasting station,” Mettaton dismissed.

Jeremy chuckled. “Well, it’s pretty big. I’m really proud of my family.” He hesitated. “But uh, you don’t need to tell Lori this information. It’s not something I volunteer when I’m dating, not because I’m embarrassed or anything, but I want girls to like me for me...and not because I come from money.”

“Of course, darling, of course,” Mettaton agreed.

~~~~~

Papyrus huffed. “For such a lazy bones, my brother is remarkably agile when it comes to avoiding responsibility.” He began to walk back when Undyne and Alphys flagged him down.

“There you are!” Undyne grinned.

“S-sans left a note for you,” Alphys offered, pulling out a sheet of paper. Papyrus took it from her and read:

“hey bro, i’m catching a ride with tori and frisk. hope you’re not too bonely without me.” Papyrus groaned. “Well, I’m glad he’s okay,” the younger skeleton admitted.

“Cool, cool, so yeah, we’re taking off right now.”

Papyrus looked confused. “Eh, didn’t you carpool with the human?”

Alphys nodded. “Ah yes, we did...maybe you would like to take her home since you’ll have an extra seat in the car? I mean, if you want to?”

Papyrus hesitated but ultimately nodded. “Nyeh heh heh, well I suppose I could. Where is she?”

“We left her sitting at the table.”

~~~~~

“Man those guys are taking a really long time in the restroom,” You wondered out loud as you sat alone at the large table. Undyne and Alphys had declared they were going to use the restroom but it had been about 10 minutes already and there had been no sign of them. Maybe they were having diarrhea. That would explain why Alphys kept apologizing over and over again as they left.

You tapped your fingers on the table and eyed Papyrus’ dating handbook. You fingered the cover apprehensively, reading both sides curiously. “The Ultimate Dating Handbook. Property of Snowdin Library. Authored by Berry McCaulkiner.” Uh…huh. Must be a pseudonym. Papyrus had offered to loan it to you once, but that was before you and he started dating.

He didn’t say you couldn’t read it, right? Maybe a little peek wouldn’t hurt. Perhaps it would give you an edge on what Papyrus might do for your third date. You gently lifted the cover up once more.

“Ah human! There you are!” You squeaked in alarm and dropped the book. You quickly stood up.

“I wasn’t doing anything!” You pathetically lied. Papyrus blinked at you in surprise.

“Alright...Well, would you be alright if you did something now?”

“Uh sure.” Super smooth there.

“Because Alphys and Undyne have left, I was wondering if you-Say! Isn’t that my Dating Handbook?” Papyrus exclaimed.

“Wait, what?” You asked as Papyrus deftly seized the book and tucked it away, “What do you mean they left?”

Papyrus blanched. “Ah, they have decided to leave without you.”

“Those sons of bitches!” You swore, “I knew something was up when Alphys kept apologizing!” You glanced at Papyrus who looked truly awkward to be standing there as you ranted. “Uh, er sorry.”

“That’s alright. I was wondering if you would like a ride home?”

“You have enough room in your trunk?” You asked hopefully.

Papyrus waved his hand. “Oh yes, but ehm, the passenger seat is available as my brother took a ride with the Queen and Frisk. Unless you’d prefer the trunk?”

“Passenger seat is fine!” You quickly agreed and you followed the skeleton toward his car.

~~~~~

The car ride was surprisingly quiet. You had hoped to actually talk to Papyrus about what your guys’ next step was but you couldn’t seem to muster up the courage to do so. It wasn’t like Papyrus was immune to this anxiety either as you swore you could hear him hum every now and then when he shifted gears. You slipped off your hoody and tucked it underneath your seat. Despite the cool air, you were really starting to overheat just thinking about all of this.

It was only after he pulled into your parking lot and you both exited the car that you finally spoke up. “So, uh, I had a lot fun.”

Papyrus nodded. “I did as well.”

What were you going to ask him? Your brow furrowed. Did he want to go on another date with you? Did he want to be your boyfriend? Was it too early to even consider that? “Would you like to go out again?” You finally asked.

Your question seemed to catch the skeleton off guard because he stopped walking. “Yes, I would like that,” He smiled gently at you.

“Yay.” You chuckled. “Uh, I don’t have any place in mind but if you can give me a day or so, I’ll think of something fun for us to do.”

“Nyeh heh heh, I have no doubt you will think of something great.”

You were in front of your front door now. You entertained the thought briefly of inviting him in but dismissed it. What did you expect would come out of it? He didn’t even know what a dick was and even if he did...well Sans’ warning was also a very serious deterrent. You turned to say good night to Papyrus only for your mouth to meet his teeth once more.

It was a gentle, tentative kiss, not nearly matching the intensity of the last two, but the magic was still there. You let out a happy sigh at the affectionate gesture and pressed into him softly. His hand sneaked around you once more and began to pull you into to deepen the kiss. And with no one around to interrupt this time, you found yourself eagerly awaiting whatever was coming next.

“Hey Lori! Is that-oh!!” You immediately backed out of the kiss and looked behind Papyrus to see Kaylie standing there, rather flustered. “Oh, eh, I’m sorry about that!” She began to apologized.

You chuckled, still feeling rather flushed. “Oh don’t be sorry! It’s alright! Papyrus was just finishing dropping me off!”

“Nyeh! Yes, exactly!” Papyrus quickly nodded, taking a step back, “Well good night. I look forward to seeing you soon.” He nodded politely to both of you before quickly walking down the stairs, his cheeks burning a bright orange as he left.

You turned to Kaylie who was trying to whistle innocently. “Hi Kaylie!”

“Gah, sorry about interrupting that! I just wanted to say hello and I’m glad you made it home safe,” she smiled.

“Yeah, same goes for you too.”

Kaylie shuffled her feet awkwardly. “Uh, so are you guys dating now? Like officially?”

You nodded and bit your lip. “Yes, it’s a bit different I’ll admit. Is that going to bother you at all?”

“Do you guys plan on telling people to go worship Satan?”

“Uh...no?”

“Then I have no problems,” Kaylie assured you. You snickered at the question. “Keep me posted okay?”

“Will do, hun. Good night.”

“Good night!”

You walked inside and threw yourself on the couch with a sigh. “Tonight was AWESOME!” You sighed happily. You sat up quickly. “Holy shit. How am I going to top that?” You felt the urge to make your third date even better than your second date. “What to do, what to do? How do I top a day at the beach and dancing?”

You had no idea. You pulled over your laptop and began to search for ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dating Finished! (And we got a sneak peak at a backstory!)
> 
> Any ideas for what we could do for a third date?
> 
> OH! Real quick. I was thinking about writing a one shot with these characters - separate short story, maybe 10,000 words or so, outside of the main story but still connected. Halloween themed, camping in the woods type of thing (Was going to do a Little Red Riding Hood story but I got a bit befuddled and may just post snippets of what I did get together later). Would you guys be interested in me doing this Halloween short? I should have it up by Halloween! :D
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
>   
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
>   
>   
> Oh, and as always, fanart list from super cool people that I just wanna smush!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> 


	64. Changing the Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all have been extremely patient, and for that I'm grateful. I have been unable to respond to your comments and anything you've said to me on Tumblr for two reasons. (1) My mom had surgery - but she survived and we now begin the long recovery process. and (2) I had not one, but two laptops decide to die on me. Thankfully, I have this story saved on a flash drive and let's hope computer number three is the lucky charm! :D
> 
> I will be responding to all your wonderful comments soon, but never fear, I have read them all and have made notes based on your responses. Unfortunately, because of my lack of time, this will be a shorter chapter but will still have plot advancement! :D
> 
> On another note, I have posted the Halloween Story. I've decided it will be a chapter story as it ran longer than 10,000 words. It will be wrapped up by Halloween! :D So click here to be taken to the Side story! 
> 
>  
> 
> [ **The Halloween Camping Trip** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8366392)
> 
>  
> 
> Oh that note, enjoy the following chapter. Second date is over, just a clear run to the finish line, right?

You awoke to the dinging of your laptop. “Ehhhuhhh,” you moaned, stretching as you sat up from the couch. “When did I fall asleep?” You groaned. You blinked tiredly and looked around your home. You had fallen asleep on the couch.

You blearily squinted at your laptop to see a new email notification. You clicked on it and smiled. It was from your parents. You glanced at the time to see it was about 2:00am which meant they must have found internet during lunchtime. You read: 

“Hi hun! We hope you are well. Dad and I have been enjoying our trip so far. It’s very bright and sunny but I’ve got our sunhats so we’re good. We went to see those Santorini statues and I got a couple good pictures of us posing with them. Hopefully you are able to see them. Are you still exercising regularly and taking your birth control pill on time?” You winced as the doctor in your mother tended to come out quite bluntly more often than not. You continued, “Please let us know if you need anything! We love you very much, Mom and Dad.” 

You spotted the attachments and clicked on them, only to snort with laughter. Your parents passed on many things to you - their short height, crap metabolism, super painful periods (unless you were on the pill) to name a few. However you all managed to share the same big goofy smile. They were smiling wide and proud and waving at the camera and you waved back at the still photography.

You opted to write back. “Hey guys! Got the pictures. You guys look like you're having fun. Everything is alright here so far. Do you guys remember Jeremy from high school? I ran into him recently and we've been hanging out. I've been dating a little bit too. I'm still exercising and I'm regular on the pill. Anyways, send more pictures soon. I love you both. -Lori”

You hit send and closed your laptop. Why were you here in the living room? It took a moment for the rest of your brain to catch up. 

Date ideas! You looked down at the table to see what your “pillow” had been and saw a note book with some scribbles on it. You picked it up and stared at it in confusion. “What the fuck does frog mean?” You asked yourself. Yes. It appeared that you just started writing random words instead of concrete ideas. You had the following: frog, trails, panic room, dinosaur, marshmallows, clowns, panic room (again, really?), amusement park, ice, peaches. You blinked. Peaches? 

“Oh yeah.” You remembered. It was peach picking season at the moment. There was that farm outside of the city that a lot of families liked to go and you could pay to pick peaches and nectarines. The man who owned that farm was a good client who was always telling everyone at work to swing by and he'd give them discounts since you were always having to deworm his less than friendly barn cats. 

You're sure Papyrus would love it and then afterwards you guys could make a pie with the peaches you picked and watch Mettaton or something. “Yeah, yeah. This sounds great.” You nodded enthusiastically to yourself before breaking into a yawn. “Goddamn, it's too early,” you muttered. You glanced at the time. Judging from the one time Pap texted you, the monster tended to be awake by 4am. You could call him then and then go back to sleep until you had to leave for work. Yes. Perfect!

~~~~~

“Oh my God what did I think this was a good idea?” You groaned as the phone rang in your ear. Despite still feeling exhausted, you still felt nervous even though you clearly had the best date idea in the world.

“Good Morning, Lori!” Papyrus' way too cheerful voice greeted as he picked up. 

“Hello Papyrus! How are you?”

“Very good. I am making a nutritious breakfast.”

“Oh. Cool. What are you making?”

“Oatmeal.” 

“What?”

“Oatmeal. You know the brand with the little dinosaur eggs in it?”

You had no idea what he was talking about. You facepalmed. “No, I don’t think I’ve had that.”

“Oh. You should. It’s very good! Ooh! Are you calling to join Undyne’s training session today?”

“Oh no. Not today. I have to work today. Uh, hey so I was wondering for our third date, if you'd like to go peach picking. You see there's a farm outside of the city where people can pick peaches. I figure we could go do that and maybe try to cook a pie afterwards with the peaches.”

“Wowie. That sounds great!” Papyrus exclaimed. 

Yes! Okay don't get too hyped. You twirled your hair and tried to play it cool. “I was hoping you'd like it! Are you free next Saturday?” Papyrus didn't answer and you hesitated. “Uh. Pap? Still there?”

“Ah yes. Sorry about that, human. That is a very good idea but I have an even better plan.”

A better plan? You bit your lip again. “Uh yeah, sure. What’s your idea?” You asked. 

“I was thinking we could go to Tacchelis tonight.”

You pulled open your laptop and loaded up the restaurant webpage. “Well I work until 5:30.” 

“I could get reservations around 7pm.” You gritted your teeth. That really didn't give you a lot of time. You looked at the dress code. Semi-Formal to Formal. You remembered Giuseppe mentioning that things got really fancy at night but you didn't think he meant this fancy.

Why would Papyrus want to go when it was going to be this nice? Wait, wait. Was he going to ask if you wanted to be exclusive? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Holy shit. Things were far more serious than you thought. “Eh, human are you still there?”

Oops. You kinda forgot to give him an answer. “Oops sorry. Well, uh sure. I might be little late but I can do that. If you don't mind me asking, why so soon?”

“I have something really important to ask of you.” Your eyes widened. “So you'll be there at 7?” Papyrus asked. 

Squeeeaallllll!!! “Oh totally. Yup.”

“Excellent. I will meet you later.”

“Sounds good. Good bye, Pap!”

“Goodbye, Lori.”

You disconnected the line and flopped on the couch. You better get some sleep now!! You had a big day ahead of you. Time to get some shut eye…

You ended up getting a double shot of espresso that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and as always, fanart list from super cool people that I just wanna smush!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> 


	65. Preparing for the Third Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAYY!!! I told you I would have the newest chapter out by...Monday...damn. I'm in the process of moving now so things are jumbled. Response to comments have been limited but after this weekend, expect a flood of my love on your comments and critiques (Whether you like it or not >:D)
> 
> If you guys think of a better chapter title, please tell me. I couldn't think of one. 
> 
> We have two new pieces of Fanart by the amazing Zully (Who has been incredibly patient and awesome and keeps making beautiful artwork while I chew my own feet like an ape)
> 
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> and 
> 
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> As always, please show her lots of love!! :D

“Hey good morning, sleepy head,” Cheri greeted when you walked in. 

“Hi Cheri, how's it going so far?”

“So far so good. 3 feline neuters and a routine dental.”

“Huh. Seems rather light. Think I have a chance of leaving early?”

Cheri appraised you. “Maybe….what’s the occasion?”

“She's got the 3rd date!!!” Pam practically shrieked from behind Cheri. Huh. It seems Mettaton had already informed his newly appointed lackey. Not that you cared at this point.

You smiled tiredly. “Yeah, yeah I do. I've got to be at Tacchelis by 7pm.”

“Ooh. Cutting it close. I'll see about getting you off sooner. Would 5:15 be alright?”

“Heck, I'll take anything you can give me.”

Cheri gasped. “You didn't swear!! His politeness must be rubbing off on you. I'm so proud of you!”

You gasped. “Holy shit!! You're right.”

“Never mind.”

You found yourself singing along with the radio, much to the chagrin of your coworkers. You weren't tone deaf but damn you were not a singer. Yodeling male cats had more pitch control than you did. 

“Hey, hey.” Tim finally spoke as you belted out the lyrics to Poker Face. You looked at him as you intubated your dog for his dental. 

“What?” You asked, pushing the epiglottis up with the edge of your tube.

“Shut up.”

“Why?”

“You're killing Tommy with your bad singing.” Tim pointed out. You looked at the cat who did indeed appearing to be burying his head under a stack of towels. 

“Well let him go up front and have him bug Pam for a bit. I'm in a really good mood,” you chuckled. Tommy perked up as if he understood and practically dashed to the door and began to scratch it. You chuckled as you pushed the endotracheal tube in between the fluttering folds of the dog’s throat. “Someone go let him out before I start singing Wild Thing.” 

A technician snickered and opened the door, allowing Tommy to book it. You smiled as you moved the now unconscious dog to the dental table and donned a face protection mask. “Are you sure that’s okay?” Tim asked. 

“Totally, he might be a fat little fucker, but he knows to just stay in the receptionist area and not fuck with the dogs,” Your voice came out muffled as you explained. “Now set a timer for 30 minutes and let’s see if I can knock out this dental,” you bragged, pulling out your probe and began to search for pockets in the gumline. 

~~~~~

Twenty five minutes later, you had turned off the anesthetic and were finishing polishing the last carnasal with a smug grin on your face. “Someday I’ll get under 20 minutes,” you sighed as the dog began to shake his head. It was only after he started swallowing that you removed your endotracheal tube and place a warm blanket on the little guy. You grabbed your dental sheet and began to chart gingival index and level of tartar. 

“Hey, Tommy hasn’t come back yet?” Tim mentioned. 

You glanced at the time. It was close to noon. “Hmm, that is weird. Normally he gets bored after about 5 minutes and demands to come back in.”

“Maybe he found a girlfriend?”

“Well she’s going to be disappointed because Tommy lost his balls years ago.” You pulled off your face mask and your pores thanked you for the fresh air. “I’ll see what’s got his attention, I need the breather anyway,” you offered. You pushed open the door and walked up to the front receptionist area. Tommy chirped happily when he spotted you and began to rub his cheek against a small pot of flowers.

Flowers? There hadn’t been flowers here this morning. “Ooh, who’s the lucky girl...or boy?” Pam glanced over from the phone. 

“No idea. Nice flower guy dropped it off about 15 minutes ago. Tommy won’t leave it alone long enough for us to read the card.” 

You chirped back at Tommy as you walked to the flowers and the cat resumed cheek marking the strange white flowers with the yellow stamen...Your eyes widened. “Are those lilies?!?!” You freaked. 

Pam glanced at it. “Yes, I believe so-hun! Woah!” You yanked the vase off the table so quickly and dashed to the office manager’s office. You damn near spooked your boss who hopped out of chair at the brashness of your entrance. 

“Is someone dead?!” she gasped. 

“Tina! Some idiot brought in lilies!” 

Tina sneezed. “I-i can tell. What’s the issue-ooh!” She sneezed again. 

You placed the plant down next to your boss as she reached for her box of tissue. “Lilies are poisonous to animals if they eat their leaves. We have to make them vomit if they eat it. Ah! Fuck! Tommy!” 

“But I’m allergic!” Tina yelled pathetically after you as you ran back out. 

You pried open a fussy Tommy’s mouth and quickly looked inside. “Did he eat any of the leaves?”

Pam quickly shook her head. “No, no. He’s just been rubbing on it.” 

You breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, I think we’re good. I think it’s fine.” 

“Uh miss?” You turned around to see a man holding a young chiweenie. “My dog ate one of the leaves that fell.”

“...how long ago?” 

“About 10 minutes ago.” 

You gritted your teeth. “Alright sir, I’m going to need to induce vomiting in uh?”

“Bambi.”

“Bambi. Right. I need to induce vomiting in Bambi because lilies are poisonous.” 

“Oh. Shit.” 

Yes, shit was right. 

~~~~~

You sat in the back with a vial of frozen Apomorphine defrosting in your armpit. TJ was inspecting Bambi and testing reflexes and eye coordination. Fuck. 

As you screamed before, lilies, although pretty enough, were extremely poisonous to pets, especially cats. Ingestion of the leaves could lead to kidney failure and well, no kidneys = death for pets. You checked the vial under your arm and stuck it back under with a groan. 

Although sharing very similar name, Apomorphine had absolutely nothing to do with actual morphine. This drug, once given to a patient, caused extreme nausea and vomiting. Which made it perfect for pets that had eaten things like chocolate or poisonous plants. A past employee found this out the hard way when they stole some of it and brought it home. They were quickly ridiculed and subsequently fired when they called from the emergency room a few hours later for uncontrollable vomiting. 

You glanced at Tommy who purred and rubbed his head against your hand. Correction. Apomorphine could not be used on cats. Current medicine stated that it wasn't very effective and even so, inducing vomiting in cats was extremely dangerous and discouraged. So the only thing you could do was give supportive care, fluids and pray. The Apomorphine was defrosted and you handed it to TJ who began to draw it up. 

“I’ll start getting the activated charcoal ready,” you mentioned as you opened up a cupboard. You could hear Bambi squeak nervously behind you.

The charcoal was pretty much exactly what it sounded like. It came in large tubes with a plunger and a syringe tip and you would feed it to pets. The rough idea behind being that the charcoal would help coat the ingested material that was not vomited and prevent the body from actually breaking it down into its toxic components and, instead, sending it out the back way. Sometimes you could get animals to eat it on food but that didn’t work too often since the stuff looked like liquid tar and was just about as appetizing. So the most common course of action was to force feed it to the patient. It was a messy procedure and that stuff stained like you wouldn't believe even with gloves on and a towel wrapped around the animal to catch any extra drippings. 

“Alright anyone have a burning desire to give the charcoal?” You asked. Bambi was vomiting her entire breakfast out at this point.

“You should probably do it since they're your flowers,” you heard Tina speak. Everyone looked to their office manager and nearly jumped as they saw this normally blonde and muscular woman reduced to sniffling and a red nose. 

“Did you say my flowers?” You asked, cocking your head. 

Tina nodded and held up a pink card. “I found this when I was trying to find benadryl.” She handed it to you and you hesitantly read it.

“Dear Lori! I can't wait for tonight. Sincerely, Papyrus?” You stared at the card in surprise. You flipped over the card but there was nothing more written. Papyrus sent these to you? I mean, you did have a secret fantasy of receiving flowers at work but this definitely wasn't what you expected. 

“Why'd he send you lilies?” Tina muttered. 

“I have no idea. Maybe skeletons like lilies?” Nothing screamed more romantic than the flowers you would bring to a funeral. 

“Uh, there was something else you got.” You raised an eyebrow as she pulled out another piece of paper. “It's like a flyer or something,” she shrugged as she handed it to you. You took the piece of paper and stared at it. “I didn't know you were interested in taking dance lessons.”

“... Neither did I,” you mumbled. In your hands was a flyer that advertised dance lessons. One of the sessions had been circled and next to it was scrawled “I think you need this one. :)” The session read “From Failure to the Flamenco in 3 Weeks.”

Well, this was news. You felt a lump in your throat but you swallowed and forced a smile out. Surely Papyrus didn't mean anything by this flyer. He was probably trying to be helpful. However, just to be safe, you probably should make a phone call...er, after you fed liquid charcoal to a very sad baby chiweenie.

~~~~~  
You scrubbed and scratched at the black marks on your hands as you balanced your cell phone on your shoulder. “This stuff sticks like tar,” you mumbled. The phone kept ringing. You had decided against a text message. It rang and rang until you got to the voicemail. 

“Hello, you've reached the voicemail of the Great Papyrus. I am so sorry I missed your call, but fear not! I shall return your call...unless this is Sans, in which case stop leaving bad jokes on my voicemail!!”

The machine beeped and you snickered. “Hello Great Papyrus! This is the Amazing Lori! I just wanted to say I got your flowers and the flyer for dance lessons. They're, uh, very pretty and I guess last night we talked about me not being a great dancer. But if you could give me a call back when you can, that would be great. See you tonight.”

You hung up the phone. “Huh.”

“What’s up?” Cheri asked as she walked by. 

“You know, I never heard Papyrus’ voicemail before.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He always picks up.”

“Well, he can't always answer the phone.”

“I suppose you're right. It's just kinda weird is all.”

Cheri finally looked in your direction and blanched. “Good Lord, do you want some lotion to try to get some of that black goop off of you?” 

“Nah. I’ll just make sure I take a hot shower when I get home. Which reminds me...any chance I can get off early?”

“Funny you should mention it, I got you an extra half hour.”

“Hot diggedy damn, I’ll take it!”

~~~~~

You didn't even bother to change out of your scrubs when you clocked out. “Bye guys!! See you Monday!”

“Good luck honey!”

“Hope you both have a wonderful time.”

“Make sure you use protection.”

“Fuck you, Tim.”

You hopped into your car and immediately blasted for home. You got there by 5:15 and immediately stripped naked, preparing to hop into the shower until you remembered the state of your bedroom. 

“Better tidy up!!” You decided and you dashed around in your birthday clothes, picking up everything that even remotely looked out of place. You spotted the flyer for dance lessons that had fallen out of your bag and left it on your counter top. The lilies unfortunately did not make it home and were left to decorate the interior of the hospital dumpster. No one was going to take any more chances with that plant and honestly lilies kinda freaked out so you allowed Tina to toss them. 

By the time you were in the shower, it was 5:40. You got a little bit carried away with the cleaning but no matter. You still had plenty of time and finished showering quickly, making sure to reshave everywhere!! You were not taking any chances. You popped out and began to dry and go through your closet. “Semi formal, formal, semi formal, formal,” you mumbled as you pawed through the dresses. You skipped a good portion of them that Mettaton had bought in an effort to make your more uh, rectangular as he put it. Which included the addition of shoulder pads big enough to put a football player to shame. Your hand finally set upon a cocktail dress and you paused. It was a very pretty dress. Nothing too over the top. You slipped it on cautiously and looked in the mirror. 

Well it fit. Rather well actually. Almost too well. It snugly hugged your curves. Near the top of the dress, the fabric changed to a lacy material that covered the top of your chest and offered short sleeves. The dress was short but you had worn shorter...just you really had to be careful about bending over. 

You fished out long forgotten jewelry and began to put on white rhinestone earrings. You found your black heels and slipped them on. You sat for far too long applying make up, giving your eyes a hue of purple eyeshadow. Only when you had applied perfume did you finally stop your flurry of motion and stepped back to look at yourself. 

“Woah.” Woah indeed. There was no better way to describe it. Even your hair seemed to get its shit together and behave, adding even more volume and ringlets to your already curly thick hair. Your eyes practically sparkled with both excitement and that glittery purple eyeshadow you dabbed on. 

Your eyes caught sight of the time and with a “Shit!”, You seized your clutch purse and darted outside, paging your Lyber ride. You got lucky and someone was nearby. You paused when the car pulled up. It had a boat painted on it. Like actual body painted boat all along the side. The hood had the face of happy smiling cat. “Uh.” You glanced at the time and hopped into the car’s passenger side. 

“Holy crap!” You gasped. The driver wore a thick dark robe that completely covered any possible facial features. You resisted the urge to bolt and instead looked at your phone. “Uh, are you uh, I can't quite make out a name?” 

“Oh I don't have a name but most folks call me the River Person tra la la.” Oh okay. “Where to?”  
“Uh, Tacchelis? I've got the address here.” The figure nodded. 

“Hang on.” And with that, you were off.

It was silent for a few moments when the figure suddenly starting singing, “Tra la la la!!”

“I see you are singing,” you smiled.

“Tra la la. Why don't you sing with me? Tra la la.”

“Uh sure. Can I turn on the radio?” The River Person (not sure if it was s man or woman) nodded and you flipped on the radio. The familiar sound of a piano intro made you freeze and then squeal.

“Please tell me you know who Queen is.”

“Tra la la I know of the Queen tra la la.”

“No no, the band. Just oh. Here's the first lyric-each morning I die a little, can barely stand on my feet!”

“Tra la la tra la la.”

“Take a look in the mirror and cry (tra la!) Lord, what you’re doing to me! (La la!) I spent all my years in believing you, but I just can’t get no relief, Lord! Somebody (La!) Somebody (La!) Can anybody find me somebody to love?”

~~~~~

The River Person pulled up with a few minutes to spare. “Hey dude thanks for the lift,” you thanked sheepishly. You may have accidentally got carried away earlier with the singing. 

“Tra la la you're welcome tra la la.” He/She gave you a friendly nod. “Tra la la good luck your date with the soldier tra la la.”

Your eyes widened. “Wait, what? How did you know about that?”

“Tra la la the technical web tra la la.” He waved once more and drove away. You stood there dumfounded before sudden realization hit you. 

“Oh no. He didn't.” You pulled at your phone and clicked on the Undernet app. There was a trending post 

“Popular Sentry Guard and Human friend on Date! Will this budding interspecies match blossom into a full bloom romance? Stay tuned for updates!”

The post had 1200 likes so far and was growing. 

“Oh goddammit, Mettaton.”

There was nothing more you could do. With the pressure on, you walked into the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pressure is on. Maybe we can get some answers about the flyer and flowers?
> 
> Forgive the terrible singing, btw.   
> Oh, and as always, fanart list from super cool people that I just wanna smush!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> 


	66. Unraveling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Halloween Camping Trip has now concluded! Thank you to everyone who read it and left wonderful comments! I'm so happy I got to finish it and get to dedicate 100% to Must Love Animals. You're all the best! 
> 
> But now, it's the third date. The pressure is on. Can you take it? Are you ready to show how ready you are?

Oh my God. They weren't kidding about fancy. Fuck. You stared in surprise as this restaurant was now full of well dressed people and candles and music and flowers. 

The hostess flashed you a smile. “Hello! You look lovely! How are you this evening?”

You smiled back. “I'm good, actually. Uh, is there a reservation here for Papyrus?”

“Sure is! Would you care to wait for him here or at the table?”

You raised an eyebrow. “He's not here yet?” You asked. You glanced at the time. It was about 7:02.

She shook her head. “No it's rather odd. I’m sure he’ll be along shortly. Here, I'll take you to your table.”

You nodded and followed her through tables of couples both young and old, of all different types. Everyone seemed to be having a really good experience. You couldn’t help but notice that the gal brought you to a table that was in the quieter part of the restaurant. The hostess seemed to pick up on your observation and smiled. “Ha, this is actually one of our best tables. My dad made sure I kept it open for you guys.”

“That's actually really sweet of you guys. Thank you,” you admitted taking a seat.

“Right so your waiter should be here shortly so hang tight.” You nodded.

You didn’t wait long. “Ciao bambina! Ciao!” You jumped at the noise and saw a very delighted Giuseppe hopping toward you. His pants were still covered in flour stains but no one seemed to midd. “Looka at you-a! Ha! You clean-a up real good!” 

“Hello Giuseppe! How are you? How’s Lenny?” 

“I’m good. Lenny isa napping.” His brow furrowed and he looked at the empty chair in front. “Say, where’sa Papi?” 

Your smile faltered. “Ah, I don’t know.” You laughed nervously. “I haven’t actually heard from him all day,” you admitted, your fingers unconsciously twirling your hair. 

Giuseppe held out his hands to pacify you. “Ah, well Papi called thisa morninga and he was-a real excited about a-seeing you.” Your smile returned slowly. Guiseppe clapped his hands. “I gotta good plan-a. I go and get you some wine!” 

“Uh, oh you don’t have to, it’s okay, I can wait for him,” you tried to protest. The full blooded Italian male was having none of it and dashed off. You sighed and relaxed. Maybe a glass of wine wasn’t a bad idea. It would help take your mind off of things. 

The sound of a loud clunk derailed your thoughts and you stared at a bottle of wine. “Oh my God, uh, I was thinking more a glass!” You gasped. 

Giuseppe placed a glass down for you as he began to open the bottle for you. “Justa glass? Ha ha ha!! That’s a real funny. This-a whole bottle is for you. Free of charge!” You protested but Giuseppe held out his hands again. “A man paid for this wine but ah, the woman ah no showed and he left and now I have this bottle and what better way to ah use it than to give it to you!”

He poured you a glass of merlot and gestured for you to drink. You obliged him finally, recognizing that your half Italian stubbornness was no match for his full blooded endurance and took a sip. Giuseppe nodded happily and walked back to the kitchen. You took another sip and dwelled on those thoughts. 

You were drinking the wine from a guy whose date never showed...if it wasn’t such a good wine, you probably would have been more unsettled. You glanced at your phone. It was almost 7:10PM. Should you call? Would that come off as clingy? Then again, if the roles were reversed, you would have already called and apologized for being late. You took a large gulp and dialed Papyrus’ number. 

It went to voicemail. You bit your lip. Be cool. “Hey Papyrus, it’s Lori. Um, I’m just calling to say I’m at the restaurant...waiting. I guess you’re running a bit late. Hope you’re not stuck in traffic. Can you give me a call when you get close? See you soon.” 

You quickly hung up the phone and placed it back down. You took another sip. The waiter approached. “Can I get you anything to get you started, miss? Perhaps an appetizer?” He offered. 

Your stomach grumbled. You hadn’t eaten since around noon. Maybe you could order some garlic bread? No, you were going to wait. You shook your head. “No, but thank you. I’m waiting for my date. I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” You insisted. 

The waiter nodded and left you with your thoughts and a now empty glass of wine. Giuseppe walked by and looked at the empty seat. “Nothing?” He asked. 

“No.” He poured you another glass and patted you on the back. 

“Hey, I’ma sure he’s a coming.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.” You weren’t that sure and honestly neither was Giuseppe, but he left with a smile and you smiled too. You looked at your salt and pepper and began to try to balance them against each other at an angle. They fell. You took another sip and tried again. You’re not sure why you thought more alcohol would help your reflexes as the shakers fell again. In fact, your mind was starting to think about other thoughts that you had buried while you were sober but were starting to bubble forth as the alcohol warmed you in your short cocktail dress. 

Were you being stood up? No. There was no way Papyrus would stand you up. Last night all but practically proved to you how much the skeleton valued your affections. He talked with you, he swam..er, well he tried to swim with you, he taught you how to defend yourself against the volleyball, he danced with you...he kissed you. Yes. He kissed you. Passionately. You don’t kiss people passionately that you don’t really like. And he certainly wouldn’t stand up someone that he really liked! 

Maybe this was some type of weird monster thing? Mexico had the hora latino, maybe there was a monster equivalent. But why was he not answering his phone? Maybe he was playing a joke. You looked at your phone and felt your shoulders clench. It was close to 7:30. If this was a joke, it was no longer funny. You fought the urge to growl and picked up the phone. You poured yourself another glass as you dialed. 

It rang only twice before it cut to voicemail. Son of a bitch. Was he ending the call earlier? Now you growled. The voicemail played again. Fuck the Great Papyrus. You tried to keep your voice level but you could feel anger slipping into your speech rapidly.

“Hello Papyrus. This is Lori. Your date. For 7. It is 7:30. Listen, if this is some kind of joke, it’s not really funny. Seriously. Is something happening that you don’t want to tell me about? Cause right now, I’m really, really not happy. Call me back now.” You disconnected the phone and looked up into Giuseppe’s face. He appeared rather displeased. 

“Bambina, give-a me his number, I’lla find what’s happening,” Giuseppe offered. 

You were so tempted to give out his number right that second but you resisted. “It’s fine, fine. Just, I’m going to give him 15 more minutes,” You declared.

Giuseppe nodded and worriedly walked back to the kitchen. The same waiter returned. “Miss?” 

“Ah, really, I’m sorry, but I really want to wait for my...date.” Your voice wavered. With no food to absorb the alcohol you had drank, you really were feeling the effects. Your posture slouched as you ran both hands through your hair. The little voice in the back of your mind was screaming now. 

You couldn't be getting stood up. There was no way he would do this to you. Not without a phone call or a text or something. Hell, a carrier pigeon could fly in here with a note attached to its leg and that would suffice. 

You began to examine yesterday a lot more closely as you now tried to balance your fork on the pepper shaker...which still proved to be quite a challenge for having consumed half a bottle of wine. Papyrus talked to you...but he also ran away from you. He only sank in the water because he didn't trust you to swim on your own. Instead of teaching you how to fight the volleyball, it would have been easier if he had just let you sit with Sans. He didn't even want to dance with you at first. And..well, you kissed him first. Would he have kissed you if you hadn’t made the first move? 

You trembled. No way. There was no way he would do this to you. Papyrus was a good Monster. He was polite, he was kind, he helped others and he was honest. And he liked you. He really liked you. There’s no way he would…

Your phone lit up and you grabbed it quickly. You unlocked it and stared. An email from your parents again. You clicked on it and read: 

“Hi hun! It’s Dad now. Your mother is asleep and I’m stuck on a level on Candy Ninja. You ran into Jeremy? That’s cool. What’s he been up to? We haven’t seen him since your class graduated. Mom always thought he was gay.” You couldn’t help but chuckle even as your eyes started to sting. “Anyway, do we know the guy you’re dating? Or guys? Your mother and I were dating a couple of other people before we met each other. I hope things aren’t too busy at your hospital. I saw a picture of two cats today and am sending it to you. Stay safe, and I love you. -Dad”. You sniffled and clicked on the attachment. 

It was two cats and they were grooming each other. Their eyes were closed and they were snuggled up against each other...all cute and snuggly. They seemed...really happy together. You began to type a reply until a drop of water fell on your screen. You tried to wipe it away only for another drop to land on your screen. 

“I love you too, Dad.” You managed to type and send before more tears fell freely from your eyes. It was 7:45. You dialed Papyrus once more. 

~~~~~

Giuseppe walked out again to check on you. This was truly bizarre. His skeleton customer had never acted this boorish. Especially with someone he had spoken about several times so affectionately. He walked toward you and paused. Your head was buried on the table, you were shaking and you were most definitely crying. “Bambina!” 

“Oh god, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you cried, trying to wipe away the tears out of your eyes, your eyeliner beginning to run. You stood up shakily, knocking over your empty glass. Giuseppe helped steady you. “I just want to go home,” you sniffled. 

“Waita here. I’ll calla cab.” 

“No, no. I just-god, I’m sorry, but I just can’t be here any longer,” you shuddered, wiping your eyes. Everyone was watching you but you didn’t care at this point. You were miserable and you wanted to go home. 

Giuseppe looked upset but did not try to apprehend you. You were already distraught. He had to at least try to contact Papyrus, if nothing else but to get answers but you were in no condition to give out this info. 

Wait! He had the number! Well, his daughter did. Of course! Papyrus had to have left his number to make the reservation. Giuseppe quickly dashed to his daughter at the hostess stand where she watched you leave worriedly. “I needa Papi’s number. Something’s not a right here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something has gone horribly wrong. 
> 
> The fanart list from super cool people that I just wanna smush!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> 


	67. Falling to Pieces (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the chapter we hopefully get some answers. And find out what happened to Papyrus.

You left the restaurant and allowed yourself to outright sob. The people around you watched you nervously but quietly kept to themselves as you fished out your phone. You attempted to load the Lyber app but your vision was blurry and unfocused. You didn’t want Giuseppe to come out and try to stop you so you began blindly crossing the street in an attempt to make some distance.

A loud deafening horn blared at you and you looked up in surprise to see you had walked right out in front of a Prius who thankfully managed to stop in time. You one hundred percent knew you were in the wrong...but that didn’t stop you from slamming your fist on the hood.

“Don’t you fucking see I fuck off!” You swore angrily at the driver.

“LORI?!?!” You blinked at the familiar voice as the driver side door open and out popped Jeremy looking rather horrified.

“Jeremy!!” You sobbed, wavering unsteadily in front of his car.

“Jesus Christ! What the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed!! Are you fucking insane?!” He shouted, seizing your shoulders.

“He stood me up!”

Jeremy blinked. “What?”

You choked back another sob and buried your face into his chest. “Papyrus. He-he stood me up!” You wept, no doubt leaving snot and tears on his shirt.

“Are you serious?”

“Jeremy! What’s going on?” A blonde woman asked as she stepped out of the passenger side door. “Oh my God! Is she alright? Who is she?”

“She’s a friend, a good friend,” Jeremy tried to explain as you now just wept silently.

“What happened?”

“The bastard stood me up!” You answered, your mascara now effectively running down to your cheeks.

“What bastard?”

You stood up all of a sudden. “I left my wallet,” you realized out loud. You pulled yourself out of Jeremy’s grasp and half walked, half stumbled back toward the restaurant.

“Lori! Wait no! Shit! Shit! Samantha! Watch the car!” Jeremy ordered, running in after you.

You managed to pass the hostess and Giuseppe. He was on his cell phone. They looked surprised and startled to see you and the hostess quickly ran after you. “Hun, please, just stay here. We’ll call you a cab.”

“I left my wallet. I don’t want to give that-that ass a reason to come see me ever again!” You bitterly wept. You reached your table and clumsily grabbed your wallet. You turned around too sharply. The world started to spin until you felt Jeremy’s hands on you again.

“I’ll get you home, just come with me,” Jeremy tried to soothe as he pulled and pushed you along.

“Excuse me sir, do you know her?” The hostess asked worriedly.

“Yeah, yeah, I do. I’m a friend.”

“Lori, do you know him?” she asked you now. You didn’t answer but just shook violently, the combination of alcohol and the sting of rejection leaving you a loss for words except for profanity and random phrases.

“She knows me, alright, just let me take her home,” Jeremy demanded, guiding you back toward the door.

Giuseppe was talking animatedly into his cell and you could hear bits of the conversation. “Where are you? ...What’sa Grillby’s? Is ita close? Listen, this isn’ta game-wait, no, no bambina wait!” He called after you but Jeremy had already pulled you outside back on the street.

Your crying lessened slightly as you allowed Jeremy and the blonde woman to lead you to the back seat and help you inside. “Please buckle your seat belt,” Jeremy asked as he climbed back into car.

“Fuck your seatbelts,” You muttered as you buckled yourself in. You leaned your head against the window with a groan. He turned on the car and quickly pulled away back into traffic. Your sobbing had quieted down enough for you to wipe the tears out of your eyes and look around. Jeremy and the woman kept shooting you worried glances. “Are you guys on a date too?” You asked.

“Yeah..well we were...uh..so, Samantha, this is Lori. Lori, this is Samantha.” You shook hands with the gorgeously toned woman in the passenger seat.

“Hey, sorry I’m fucking up your date,” you apologized. Samantha shook her head.

“Don’t worry about it. Guys are jerks!!”

“Hey!” Jeremy protested.

“Present company excluded,” Samantha added. “Uh...so what do you do for a living?”

You shrugged, slouching yourself into the cushions. “I’m an RVT.”

“What’s that?”

“Registered Vet Tech,” you explained.

“Oh! I love animals!” She squealed.

“Yeah, me too. What do you do?” You asked, trying to think of anything else right now other than that piece of shit monster.

“I’m a yoga instructor,” she beamed.

“Oh, you know that doesn’t surprise me,” you mentioned noting her skin tight cotton pants.

“What?”

“How’d you two meet?”

“Oh! Jeremy is one of my students! We got to talking about the best way to find our inner peace over some chai tea and one thing led to another and now we’re here.”

“Chai tea, huh?” You asked, managing to shoot Jeremy a smirk. He pretended to ignore you.

Samantha continued, “Oh yes. In fact, we were going to get some since we just finished dinner. Did you want to come with?”

“Ah, Samantha, now might not be a good time,” Jeremy suggested, seeing that although you were calmer now, you were still on the edge of breaking down all over again. The idea of chai tea sounded absolutely horrid and you diverted your attention out the window.

“Why not? I can’t think of anything better to bring some serenity to the heart and soul like a cup of fresh chai tea. How about it?” You didn’t respond. “Yoo hoo?”

You were coming up on Grillby’s very soon. Giuseppe’s words echoed in your mind. It had sounded like Papyrus was at Grillby’s. But he hated Grillby’s. Why would he go to a place he hated instead of going on a date with you? Unless...Grillby’s was the better option.

“I want to get out of the car,” you spoke, unbuckling your seatbelt.

Jeremy did not slow down as he realized your intent. “No way. I’m not letting you out to go in there!”

You turned to face Jeremy with a scowl. “Either you let me out, or I jump out and roll. What’s it going to be?”

“Goddammit, girl,” Jeremy muttered, slowing down and pulling to the side of the road in the alley next door. “You’ve got two minutes before I come in after you.”

“What are you going to do?” Samantha asked. You struggled to free yourself from the seat belt and pushed open the door. “What is she going to do?” Samantha asked Jeremy who was shaking his head.

“She’s going in there to confront her date.”

“Why would her date be in a monster bar?” Samantha pressed.

“Because her date is a Monster.”

Samantha gasped. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Her date is a skeleton.”

~~~~~

You stood in front of the door, trying not to hyperventilate. God you were terrible at confrontation but right now, you had enough wine and fury to override the normally chest wracking trepidation that would normally compel you to turn away. “He’s not here. He’s not here. He’s not here,” You kept repeating to yourself. He wouldn’t be here. That would be the end of it if he was in there. With a burst of determination, you pushed open the door and walked in.

A couple of monsters looked toward you only to do a double take. You must have looked like a wreck. Your entrance had not disrupted the liveliness...yet...which allowed you to look around the bar. The Guard Dogs were there, along with a lot of the patrons you had seen the night before. And then you saw Papyrus.

He wasn’t sitting by himself. Undyne and Sans were in a booth with him, talking about something. The tall skeleton was laughing. Well he was, until he saw you. His laughter immediately stopped, causing Undyne and Sans to glance in your direction. They looked apprehensive and seemed to watch both you and Papyrus carefully.

The skeleton stood up and smiled at you. He smiled at you. He fucking smiled at you. Your blood began to boil as he approached you happily. “Hello human! Are you ready for our date?” He called out. The liveliness died down at the sound of his voice and remained low as more monsters spotted you. Even Grillby paused more than a second in your direction before he resumed cleaning glasses. Papyrus stopped short of you and looked at you with interest. “Wowie, you look very different!” he praised.

You gritted your teeth. “Papyrus...what’s going on?” You asked lowly.

Papyrus scratched the back of his head. “Ah, yes, well, I realize that this was a rather sudden request for a date. But I’m happy to say that you passed with flying colors!” He proudly congratulated you.

Your eye twitched. “I…passed?”

Papyrus nodded enthusiastically. “Nyeh heh heh! Of course! The chef human called to inform me that you waited almost an hour there! You have demonstrated that you are very determined to date me if you were that patient. And finding me just shows how resourceful you really are. ”

“Pap,” Undyne gaped at her friend, horrified, “what did you say?”

You stiffened. “You had your phone, it works...are you saying you purposely did not pick up when I called you?”

Papyrus nodded and held out his phone to demonstrate. “Ah yes, I’m afraid if I did, I would feel obligated to give you hints on how to win this game.”

Sans stared at his brother. “pap?”

“I see you have left me some voicemails. I will make sure to listen to them after we have had our date!” Papyrus noted, looking at his phone.

“Game? Did you say this was a game?” You asked disbelievingly, your hand gripping the table next to you for support.

“Ah yes! I believe it is referred to as the Love Game. I see by your face that you are shocked that I know this. But, yes the Great Papyrus is very knowledgeable and knows that before a relationship can be taken to the next level, you should test the resolve and affection of your partner by playing the Love Game with them. Only then, if they pass, should you ask them to go, as they say, steady.”

“Oh Pap, you didn’t,” Undyne groaned, burying her face into her fins.

“This was all a game? A test?” You echoed, feeling your throat close up.

Papyrus nodded. “Yes! And since you have passed, I would like to ask you, well, oh boy, it got a bit warmer in here? Oh, shoot.” He sighed and held out a hand to you, “Lori, would you like to be my girlfriend?”

Your eyes widened at the question. “Are-are you joking right now?”

Papyrus shook his head. “No, I am very serious about this. I feel we should do this.”

That was it. That did it. You glared at him. “After everything that you've done today, I can't believe that you even think I would say yes to you!”

Your answer caught him off guard and his smile faltered. “I'm sorry?”

“Overruling my date idea, sending me toxic flowers?”

“Toxic flowers?”

“Oh by the way everyone, lily leaves are incredibly poisonous to animals and they are the worst gift you can send to a vet hospital!” You announced to the bar. The Dogs began to whine and whimper. Doggo was twitching anxiously.

“I didn't know lilies were toxic,” Papyrus admitted.

He probably didn't but you were on a roll. “Not only that, but you sent me dance flyers and tell me to go to a class that says I'm a failure!” You laughed an ugly laugh as your eyes began to burn.

“I-”

“I went to the restaurant. I sat alone waiting for you for 45 minutes. I haven't eaten anything since this morning. I waited as you stood me up!” You hissed. “I thought something had happened to you, that you were hurt but you never picked up. But you were here, laughing and eating cheese fries and having a great time.”

Papyrus no longer smiled. He looked rather aghast.

“But the worst part,” you began to choke, your eyes brimming with tears as you stared into his eye sockets. ”Was finding out that this was all just a game for you. Another puzzle for you to figure out how all the pieces work just for you. You don't do this to someone you care about. You never cared about me at all, did you?”

Papyrus waved his hands. “No, no. I do care about you!!” He protested.

“Then why? Why did you do this to me?!” You sobbed.

Papyrus did not respond as you buried your face in your hands. He fumbled with his armor and pulled out his Dating Handbook. “Human, I was just following…” His voice trailed off as you still wept. The bar was deathly silent now save for your crying. He attempted to reach forward and pull you toward him. You flinched.

“Don't you fucking touch me!” You spat, pushing his hands off of you, knocking the book from his hands.

“Please, let me just-”

“I hate you,” you spoke quietly.

Papyrus’ sockets widened and his jaw dropped. “Wh-what?”

“I hate you!!” You yelled at him. You grabbed a glass near you and tossed its contents at him, soaking him with whatever liquid was in it, “And I never want to see you again!!”

“GHOST!!!” Doggo finally snapped, jumping up from the table. Your throwing of the liquid must have been the final tick he needed to locate you. Magic spears generated force and shot toward you. You gasped and tried to shield yourself with your hands. This was it. Death by Doggo. Not the way you thought you were going to go.

A wall of whiteness shot up in front of you and absorbed the impact of the spears with only milliseconds to spare. As the last spear embedded in the white wall, the protective defense shattered. It was made of bones. As it crumbled, you made only the slightest of eye contacts with Pap's orange eye.

It was then that everyone lost their shit. Undyne leapt up and pushed past Papyrus to tackle Doggo who had been caught off guard by his attack disintegrating. The dog's yelp as he hit the ground startled Greater Dog into yipping and barking excitedly, sending the large metalized canine dashing around madly, knocking everyone and everything over. Dogamy and Dogarressa attempted to beckon and call to their larger companion...which worked only too well as Greater Dog was happy to comply and head-butted a table toward other patrons in his mad dash back. Papyrus quickly caught the table before it could splinter again the plant monster but the unexpected force did make him stumble and trip.

Well crap. This is not what you expected to happen. You turned to escape out the front during the mass chaos only to spot Sans standing in front of the door, effectively blocking it for you. You had no idea if he'd let you through. You debated rushing Sans briefly but realized that it this was most likely suicide. You heard a crash behind you and saw another table collide against Papyrus, knocking the skeleton out of your path and into the booth behind him. You spotted the back exit and sprinted toward it amongst the chaos. Grillby gave you a small wave as you ran by him. With a final shove, you pushed open the door and darted away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The night's not over yet...?
> 
> Artwork sadly inspired by this chapter:  
>    
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
>   
>   
>   
>    
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/smallpersiankitten/155059487070)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> The fanart list from super cool people that I now want to hug because I'm sad.  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> 


	68. The Price for Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The night continues. Do we escape? Or will Papyrus catch up to us?
> 
> On a slightly more comedic note, Bipolar_Archfiend summed up last chapter pretty well in video form: [Its All Gone to Shit](https://youtu.be/WXv2hWgfSPU)

To your relief, the back room was lit. The same room where you had kissed Papyrus for the first time. Fresh tears threatened to come forth and you ran toward the exit once more, only to trip as your heel got stuck in the uneven floorboards. You winced as you tried to sit up. You’re sure you might be bleeding somewhere. You forced yourself back up only to find yourself unable to move. 

Your heel! Your fucking heel was stuck! You could hear the commotion coming closer and gritted your teeth. You had to ditch the shoe. You left the shoe wedged in the wooden floor and slipped off the other one off. You carried it as you ran out the alley door and slammed it shut behind you. 

The only sound in the alley was your own ragged panting. You leaned on the closed door, your throat sore and the skin around your eyes irritated from having wiped them so much. You hated him. You couldn’t imagine anyone else in your life that you felt scorned by this much. You began to walk stiffly forward toward the alley’s exit. 

A man jumped out of the shadows at you. “Hey! Give me your wall-!”

“Fuck off, Andrew!” You snapped, pushing him roughly out of your way and into a trash can with a loud clatter.

Andrew blinked in surprise at your response and pulled himself back onto his feet. He looked at you and swore. “Wait? What! Aw man, it’s you! Shit! Where’s Papyrus? He’s always following you around!” You sniffled. Andrew stared in you in wonder. “Are-are you crying?” he asked, “Are you okay?”

You shook your head. The mugger shuffled his feet awkwardly. “I got stood up,” you muttered.

“Seriously? Wow, man that sucks, uh...by Papyrus, right?”

You looked at him oddly. “Yes.” 

“Yeah that does suck. Can I do anything to help?” 

You sighed. “I..I just want to go home.” The weight of the evening was really starting to hit you nothing sounded better, or at least more reassuring than to bury your head into your pillow. 

Andrew gave you an awkward pat on the back. “Well, uh..But hey! Look on the bright side! At least you’re not with that other guy! I mean, he seemed like a real douchenozzle!” 

“Lori!” The two of you looked up to see Jeremy running up to you, the car parked near the exit of the alley. “Are you hurt? Why are you barefoot?” 

“I lost my shoe,” you mumbled pointing backwards to a wall. You’re not sure if that was Grillby’s wall but you didn’t really care at the moment. 

“Alright, uh, just come here. I’ll carry you to the car. There’s some broken glass up ahead.” You shrugged. Did it really matter at this point?

“Alright.” 

Andrew looked at you both. “Uhhh…” Jeremy looked at Andrew as if he just realized that the younger man existed. 

“Oh, it’s you,” Jeremy answered levelly. 

The mugger shuffled his feet. “So yeah, um, not trying to get in the way here..but what are YOU doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you.” Why the fuck were they arguing? Were they arguing about you? This wasn’t getting you home any sooner. 

You began to walk toward the exit again but Jeremy caught you. “I want to go home,” you sniffled.

“I know, baby, I know, I’m going to take you home,” Jeremy reassured you.

“Whose home?” 

“What?” 

Andrew coughed, trying to make himself sound deeper and more intimidating. “I mean, whose house are you bringing her to? Hers...or yours?” He asked. 

Jeremy narrowed his eyes. “I don’t like what you’re trying to imply,” he spoke intimidatingly. Your vision was really hazy now and you had to lean against Jeremy so as not to fall over. The latent effect of the alcohol was strong. You’re not sure if you were hearing the two men correctly at this point.

Andrew shrank back at the larger male’s stance. “I just don’t have a good feeling, I mean, I don’t know her or him or you, but I mean, this just doesn’t feel right about this whole thing.” 

The sound of an approaching commotion from the business behind you caught Jeremy’s attention. He sighed and smiled at Andrew. “Listen, I get it. You want to try do the right thing. Well here’s what you can do.” He turned Andrew around and pointed him to the door leading back into Grillby’s. “Do nothing.” 

“Huh?”

“You don’t have to do anything. Just walk away now like nothing happened. Because really, nothing is happening. I’m going to take care of her, alright, trust me.” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Here, take this.” Andrew looked surprised as the older male pressed a $50 bill into his hand. “Just, don’t worry about it, alright?” 

Andrew remained silent, staring at the bill in his hands. He nodded slowly as Jeremy scooped you up. “Ah, gee, Lori, damn, you’re not as light as you look.”

“Fuck you, he says I’m beautiful the way I am,” You mumbled drunkly. Jeremy stiffened and looked at Andrew who was staring at this shoes. Jeremy smiled and lifted you into the backseat of his car, and drove away, leaving the teenager in the alleyway. 

~~~~~

Papyrus landed on the booth’s table as the second dog table slammed into him. He managed to act quickly enough and held up the wood, preventing it from collapsing onto the plant patron monster who had remained sitting in surprise. 

“Thanks Papyrus!” The monster thanks as he evacuated the spot. 

“Hey Pap!” Papyrus spotted Undyne holding out a hand which he gratefully took and she pulled him out from underneath the tables. 

“Thank you, Undyne!” 

“No problem, but first-What the heck were you thinking?!” Papyrus nearly jumped backwards in the dramatic increase in volume of his friend. 

“Eh, ah, what?”

“Standing up someone! You’ve never stood anyone up!” Undyne continued. “The Papyrus I know would never do this. Who told you to do this?! Did Frisk advise this?”

Papyrus rapidly shook his skull. “No, I’m afraid the human and I were unable to meet up as he had a history project he had to work on all day.”

“Then where did you get this information?” 

Papyrus brightened. “Oh! I got it from my Dating Handbook!” He looked around. “Ah, I’m not sure where it fell.” 

“i got it bro,” Sans piped up, walking up to both of them as he thumbed through the manual. 

“Ah! Thank you Sans!” Papyrus thanked, reaching out to take the book. 

Undyne smacked Papyrus’ hand down. “Who cares about a stupid book?! She’s leaving!!” 

Papyrus blinked in surprise. “Leaving?” 

Sans shrugged. “yeah, she’s right. the human is escaping and i don’t think she plans on coming back.” He pointed to the back entrance. The younger skeleton let that information sink in before turning slightly pale. 

“Ah, excuse me for a moment!” He excused himself politely before running after you. 

“Wait! Papyrus!” Undyne yelled and charged after the skeleton. The two monsters entered the backroom only for Papyrus’ foot to collide against something on the floor. He glanced briefly down at it but did a double take. It was a shoe. A lone shoe. There was something familiar about the shoe. 

“C’mon Pap! She can’t have gone far! She’s probably right outside this door!” He could hear Undyne shout. 

“Isn’t this the human’s shoe?” He asked, pulling the shoe out from between the floorboards. 

“Maybe! Let’s hope it is! That means she’s slower now!” 

“Cinderella?” 

“What?” 

“It’s the human story.” 

“Not real important right now!” Undyne hollered.

Papyrus remained rooted to his place and stared at the shoe. “I’m not supposed to catch her,” he mumbled. 

“What?!”

“I have to let her go,” Papyrus spoke louder. 

The fish monster stomped back up to her friend. “She is leaving, Pap, do you understand? And from one female to another, she is pissed! So put down the shoe and keep moving!”

“But this happened in the story.”

“A story, Pap! It’s a story! Come on!” Undyne grabbed his hand and yanked him along. Papyrus shook his head. Maybe his friend was right. She pushed open the door and pulled him out. “Lori!” 

“Human! Please come back!” Papyrus finally called out. But there was nobody there. The only thing they saw was a shadow pressed against the wall and the tail end of a Prius driving away.

~~~~~

You laid on the back seat of the car. You ran out of tears a while ago and now lay there, silent and trying not to pass out. You could hear Jeremy and Samantha having a rather heated discussion. 

“She’s sick, Jer, she’s sick!”

“Samantha, be reasonable!” 

“It’s just wrong! How can you not understand this?”

“Explain to me how it’s wrong.” 

“You’re seriously trying to defend her?”

“Explain it to me. Provide evidence. Now.” Your brow furrowed. The alcohol seemed to distort everyone’s voice now. Even Samantha sounded screechy. 

“Well, it’s not natural.” Whatever attention you had left was captured by your phone lighting up, making Jeremy’s words sound even more distorted. 

“Natural? That’s your excuse. Natural is alpha monkeys eating the young of other competing beta males. The common cuckoo throws the eggs of other birds’ out of their nest and forces the parents to raise its own offspring. Sure you can’t be so dimwitted as to use that “natural” as an excuse for your failure to understand social evolution.” 

“Well-well you’re an ass!!” 

“Well, here’s your stop. Looks like that’s your cue to get the hell out of my car.” 

“Get your hands off of me! You can’t treat me like this!” You blacked out at the sound of a scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we got away from Papyrus. That's what we wanted, right?  
> ...That gut feeling you're having right now is warranted. 
> 
> Perhaps a peek at the fanart list of happier past times will lighten your mood?  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> 


	69. Let Me Make You Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a few things first:
> 
> 1\. Hey, Happy Thanksgiving (if you celebrate)! I hope you all got to relax a bit and eat some form of delicious food. 
> 
> 2\. I have not responded to comments because I've been without internet the last two days visiting my parents. I will respond to everyone as soon as I can (I'm trying to unpack)
> 
> 3\. Some of you guys have some pretty good theories as to how everything got as fucked up as it did. And a lot of you guys are pretty close (and one of you accidentally stated the answer but I don't think you were guessing) I've been hinting at going back to older chapters for clues. However, for those of you like me who are miserable at these mystery things, if you scroll down to the bottom of the End notes, I will directly state the chapters you need to go to. And then as soon as someone correctly guesses, there WILL be a bonus chapter. Yay for incentive!
> 
> Edit: If you think Jeremy had something to do with everything going to shit, you need to show concrete proof other than "Well he's clearly a motherfucker." Lol

“Lori, psst, hey, wake up.” Your eyes fluttered open and your head pounded as you sat up. You were in the backseat of Jeremy’s car, the aforementioned now looking down at you.

“Where are we?” You groaned.

“Uh, the parking garage at my place.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion. His place? Why were you not at your own place? “What? Why didn’t you take me home?” You asked as you sat up. 

Jeremy rubbed the back of his head. “Well, I didn’t think that was a really good idea. Pap knows where you live, right?” 

Ah. You didn’t think of that. You nodded slowly. “Ah, uh, so I guess I can lay low at your place for a bit? Just until the heat’s off me,” you chuckled. 

“Sounds good.” He extended a hand and pulled you to your barefeet. “The elevator is not far from here so I’m sure you can walk it.” 

You looked at the ground. “This is seriously the cleanest parking garage I have ever seen,” you admired as you walked after Jeremy toward a large elevator. Something was off and you looked back to the car. Samantha was missing. “Uh, Jeremy?”

“Yeah?”

“Where’s your date?” 

“She and I had a difference of opinions about interracial relations so I dropped her off in the middle of nowhere.”

You blinked slowly. “…really?”

“No, I dropped her off at her apartment. Go ahead and step in.” The elevator doors opened and you walked in unsteadily. You blinked in confusion as Jeremy pulled out a blue keycard and stuck it in a card slot underneath the elevator buttons. The elevator lurched and began rapidly ascending. 

“You’ve got uh, a real fancy apartment housing set up here,” you observed as the elevator ascended past floor 30. 

“Oh, uh, I don’t live in an apartment.” Jeremy coughed nervously. ‘Uh, so you remember my mom was into advertising?”

“Yeah?” 

“Well, uh, she got really successful. You know the Jihyun Building?”

“You mean the fucking huge skyscraper? Yeah…what are you?” Your face went into an o shape. “You don’t mean…”

The elevators doors finally opened with a ding. Jeremy chuckled. “I kinda live in the penthouse on top of the Jihyun Building.” 

Your vision still was not somewhat recovered from you imbibing, but even drunk you could realize that you were in a very high class and expensive place. Sure, there were video games and a couch, but there was also a piano and a bar and shelves of books with titles like “Understanding Plato’s Philosophy” and “Advanced Theoretical Physics” and was that a Monet on the wall? “Holy shit, Jeremy, you live here?” 

“Yeah, pretty cool, right?” 

“Yes…I’d probably enjoy it more if my head wasn’t pounding right now.” You winced, holding a hand to your head. “Do you have any ibuprofen or something?” 

Jeremy smiled. “I have a better idea. Why don’t you sit on the couch and I’ll go open us a bottle of wine. Nothing fixes the start of a hangover like more alcohol.” 

Jeremy smiling made you smile and nod and the man dashed into the kitchen. You watched him open a bottle and pour two glasses of red wine which he brought back to you. ‘Cheers to failed dates,” Jeremy toasted. 

Your smile faltered but you clinked glasses and drank heavily in an effort to numb the throbbing pain in your chest. “Ah, ha. Cheers, I guess.” You thought about trying to sip these drink but discarded the idea as you watched Jeremy down his entire glass in one gulp. “Dude.”

Jeremy poured himself another glass and sighed. “Sorry. I should be trying to make you feel better, not feeling sorry for myself.” He refilled your half drunk glass. 

“No, no, Jer Bear, you don’t have to make me feel better. Really. I appreciate what you’re doing for me,” you insisted. You felt bad for your friend. He was 0 for 2 with women at the moment. You registered him placing an arm around your shoulders and giving you a gentle squeeze. The action appeared to have lightened his mood a bit so you allowed the arm to remain there. 

“You’re such an amazing woman, Lori,” He spoke quietly as he watched your face, “the fact that anyone would stand you up is outstanding to me.” You turned away quickly and drank your wine so as not to let him see your rapidly reddening face and the fresh tears that threatened to bubble back up any second. 

The brief pause of drinking allowed your mind to form more coherent words. “Haha, you are very sweet,” you thanked, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

Jeremy gently took your other hand and faced you directly. “You deserve to be happy. Please, let me make you happy.”

“I-I don’t know, Jer, I kind of see you as a brother,” you admitted shakily as he drew you closer. 

“Just let me try to make you happy…tonight.” You bit your lip and glanced around. He continued. “Let’s have just one night together. No regrets or tears…just a night of us being us. Two normal, lonely humans who just want to be loved.” You looked at him and felt your heart clench. “Don’t you want to be happy?” 

“I do. I want to be happy. I don’t want to feel like this,” you blurted out. Your mind was swirling and you could see Jeremy leaning in to kiss you. 

And you tried to be happy. You tried to brush aside the thoughts that he felt like a brother to you. You tried to imagine you and him locked in a passionate embrace, his mouth trailing over your body during an act of love making. You tried to look deep into his beautiful perfect eyes but all you were struck with was the memory of Papyrus’ empty black sockets watching you softly. 

You let out a startled yelp and pulled away from Jeremy quickly, knocking the rest of the wine all over the table. “Oh, oh my God. I’m-I’m sorry,” you gasped, picking up the glass and the bottle, “Oh God, I don’t know what came over me. Oh shit shit. Is this really expensive wood? Oh my God.” 

“It’s okay, calm down. It’s okay. Don’t worry about the table. It’s fine. Listen, why don’t you go to the restroom and get yourself cleaned up a bit and I’ll tidy this mess up.”

You stood awkwardly, still clutching your spare shoe. “And when I come back…do you want to do…this?” 

Jeremy nodded. “I would like to, but if you don’t want to, I mean, well I guess I understand.” 

You shook your head and forced memories of Papyrus’ touch on your skin down into the deepest recesses of your mind. “No, no. I want to. I should do this. Fuck Papyrus. This, you’ve been here, being the good guy and I guess I have just been too blind to see it…Which door is the bathroom?” 

Jeremy gave you a big smile and pointed toward a pair of doors. You walked unsteadily and grasped the handle of one of the doors. “Not that one!” Jeremy exclaimed. He coughed as you looked confusedly at him. “Er, it’s still under renovation. They were fixing the floor last I heard and I wouldn’t want you to get hurt!”

“Got it.” You opened the other door into a rather posh restroom and closed it behind you. You found a spare set of face towels and began to clean off the dried tears and stained mascara from your face. 

~~~~~

After a few minutes dunking your face into the running water, you managed to wipe away the majority of the wrecked make up. Your eyes were still red and they would no doubt be for a while but there was really nothing you could do about that. “It’s going to take some time,” you told yourself. Time to forget what a scumbag Papyrus had turned out to be…and maybe time to see Jeremy as more than a brother figure. 

With a sigh, you pushed open the door. “Alright Jeremy, I’m ready now?” Your statement changed into a question. Jeremy was no longer alone. Standing in front of the young man still seated on the couch was a very familiar short skeleton.

“hey ya, kid,” Sans greeted. 

“Sans? What-what are you doing here?” You asked astounded. 

The skeleton smiled. “i’m here to take you home.” You looked at Jeremy who glanced away in sullen defeat. Your eyes narrowed at the skeleton. 

“I don’t want to go home. I’m perfectly fine here with Jeremy,” you began to argue. 

“yeah, you see, i really want to believe that. this guy seems like a swell fellow,” Sans gestured in such a way that he might not actually believe in that sentiment, “but i’m not about to let you do something that you’re going to regret later.” 

Your anger flared up. How dare he talk to you like you were some type of child? “For your information, I don’t regret anything. In fact…I want to do stuff with Jeremy,” You insisted, trying to look as serious and as eager as you could. “Sex fuck stuff.” It was a terrible combo of emotions. 

Sans shook his head. “kid, you’re drunk. you’re not being rational about this. ”

“Your brother fucking stood me up!” You snapped angrily. “Do you think I give a flying fuck what you think of me? Or that I should even listen to you?” You turned toward Jeremy. “Come on, Jeremy, tell him.” Your friend remained silent. He did not look at you. “Jeremy?”

“Uh…you know, maybe the Monster is right,” he began, “you are pretty drunk.”

Your mouth hung agape at the 180 degree personality change in your friend. “What the fuck, Jeremy? What the fuck?” 

Sans’ eye flashed blue for a second and his smile widened. “atta boy, jer. glad you and I could come to an agreement about this.” 

“Agreement about what?” Jeremy fiddled with his thumbs. You growled, getting off the couch and kicking a fallen book out of the way as you marched toward the front door. “Well I hope you both enjoy dick because that’s all you’re going to get. I’m going home.”

Sans seized your arm as you tried to walk by. “i’m gonna take you home, kid.”

“Like hell you are! Let go of me!” You shouted, trying to pull away. Sans yanked you into his arms and seized you firmly. 

“don’t let go kid. it’s a bit of a trip.” Sans chuckled as you struggled. 

“What?” And with that the penthouse became a whirl of colors. You attempted to scream but nothing came out as you and Sans rocketed through the colors. And just as you started to focus, everything warped back into view. You found yourself falling and landed with an unceremonious thump onto your couch.

You were in your apartment. “Oh my god, I’m going to hurl!!” You realized and darted unsteadily to your bathroom. You could hear Sans opening your fridge as you vomited into your toilet. You did not vomit colors. 

Finally you stood up and stumbled out to see the Monster was helping himself to some leftover pizza. “Hey! What the he-hic-hel-hic, what’s your problem?” You asked finally, clinging to the couch armrest to steady yourself. 

Sans eyed you with a smile. “you and my brother have a problem which also makes it my problem,” he shrugged. 

You growled. “Well neither of you are going to have a problem with me. I’m out. And here you were, thinking I was going to hurt him and look at who got fucked after all?” 

“you’re welcome.” 

“What? You’re welcome? What?! Are you saying I should thank you for stopping me?”

“yes.” You stared astounded as the skeleton ate the slice. “listen, kid, you may not realize it, but i just saved you from making one of the worst decisions in your life.” Words failed you so he continued. “and in stopping you, i’ve also helped pap as well.”

“Jeremy is a good guy!” 

Sans’ eye glinted dangerously but it faded quickly. “heh. i must be a bit old fashioned, at one point does being a good guy involve taking a friend to his home, giving her more liquor and trying to guilt sleep with her?” 

You bit your lip and wrapped your arms around yourself protectively. You were not going to admit he was right, but even in your drunk state, you knew that was not what good friends were supposed to do. You eyed Sans warily. “So what are you going to do with me?”

“me?”

“You gonna try to fuck me too?” 

“nah, but i am going to help you get into bed and then i’m going to go home.”

“Just like that?” 

“yup.” You wavered unsteadily. 

“Alright.” Sans approached you, took your arm and gently lead you to your bed. “Your brother stood me up, Sans,” you mumbled as you began to crawl onto your bed. 

“i know, kid.”

“I mean, I really really liked him,” you insisted as you pushed down the covers. 

“i know, kid,” Sans answered as he lifted up the covers.

“Did he even like me at all?” You asked as you laid on the mattress.

“yeah, kid, he did,” Sans confirmed as he pulled the sheets up to your chest. 

“Then why did he hurt me like this?” You sniffled, turning into your pillow.

“i don’t know. but i can tell you one thing…he’s hurting just as much as you, kid,” Sans admitted as he gave you a gentle pat on your head. His words barely registered as you began to cry anew into your pillow. By the time you remembered the skeleton was in your room, he was gone, leaving you to cry alone once more. 

End of Act One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this concludes Act 1. 
> 
> Yes, Act 1. You guys thought I was kidding about maybe being 30% of the way through the story? 
> 
> This whole night was a catastrophe. But one thing is for certain. Our relationship with Papyrus is utterly destroyed.
> 
> Remember, scroll down all the way to the bottom past the fanart for the chapter hints. 
> 
> Perhaps a peek at the fanart list of happier past times will lighten your mood?  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> Chapter 44 and Chapter 63.


	70. Evidence! (BONUS!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PartTimeGiraffeChoreographer has correctly solved the mystery!! Give them a hug, a kiss, a quickie, whatever! But thanks to them, HERE BE THAR BONUS CHAPTER!
> 
> I'll just let this chapter speak for itself.

Jeremy watched you walk unsteadily to the restroom and close the door behind you. He began to smooth his hair out and grabbed a breath mint from a drawer. He quickly unwrapped it and began to place it in his mouth eagerly. “I can't believe this is happening,” he breathed excitedly.

“neither can i." Jeremy nearly choked on his mint and coughed at the strange voice. He quickly looked up and found himself staring into the sockets of the shorter skeleton. “heh. looks like you’re a bit out of breath there. you must be excited,” Sans chuckled as Jeremy coughed and spit out his mint. “nice place you have here.”

“Thank-thank you!” Jeremy sputtered. Sans hummed as he walked over to the large glass windows facing the rest of the city. 

“i bet this would be a great place to take a girl to see the stars,” he observed. His attention returned to Jeremy and the human found himself shudder as a bright blue eye focused on him. “somehow, i don’t think you brought the human back here to go stargazing, pal.” 

Jeremy scowled. “What-what the hell are you doing in my home? How did you get in here?”

“i have my methods.” 

“You used magic!” He accused. Sans shrugged. Jeremy stood up angrily. “This-this is trespassing! I have half a mind to call the police…or maybe I’ll kick you out myself.” 

Sans laughed. “kid, unless you find a way to magic proof this building, you won’t be able to keep me out.”

Jeremy rubbed the temples of his forehead. “What do you want?” 

“the human.” Jeremy stared at him before bursting into laughter. 

“Man, dude, that is rich.” Jeremy leaned in over the skeleton. “And what makes you think she’d even want to go with you?”

Sans shrugged. “she probably doesn’t…but i owe her one so i’ll be taking her home when she is out.” 

“And you just expect me to stand there and let you take her away?” 

“yup.” Jeremy let out a short, derisive laugh as Sans shook his head. “i don’t really want to fight, ya know? i just think it would be in your best interests to let me take her.” 

“What are you talking about? Are you threatening me?” Jeremy demanded.

Sans smirked and pulled out a book. He handed it to Jeremy. “do you know what this is?”

Jeremy looked at the book in confusion. “Uh, the dating handbook?”

“bingo. you’re a smart kid, jeremy. so i go through this book, everything seems fine. and then i get to the third date part.” The skeleton glanced at Jeremy. “do you know what it said?”

“N-no.” 

“heh. well, i’ll tell you.” Sans opened the book and turned to the page he had bookmarked. “the third date is the most important date and can make or break a potential relationship. you will need to follow these directions exactly in order to successfully complete this date and make them your romantic partner.”

“This is unnecessary…”

“step one, you must come up with the date idea. this will impress your date that you are able to make decisions without assistance from others. step two, send flowers to show that you are thinking of them, preferably lilies as they are the symbols of peace and well being. use this opportunity to send your date tips on how to better themselves. they will appreciate your thoughtfulness!”

“I really don’t see the point of this.” 

“the third step is the most crucial step. you should not meet your date at the agreed upon location. This widely accepted practice is referred to as standing up and will allow you to test the resolve and dedication of your date. you must not respond if they attempt to contact you during this period of time. the longer they wait before they seek you out is directly related to how much they care for you. 20 minutes is a perfectly acceptable amount of time. anything longer is remarkable and you should congratulate your partner if they wait longer than this.” Sans looked up at Jeremy. “now i haven’t been on a lot of dates, but i’m pretty sure that this advice is terrible.” 

Jeremy shrugged. “Well I guess Papyrus has a really bad dating handbook.” 

“i’d agree with you, except that this is not his dating handbook.” Sans’ eye glinted dangerously. “this book is a fake.” 

Jeremy’s grin twitched. 

Sans continued. “gotta admit, it’s a pretty good imitation. fooled pap and he’s had this book for a while now.” He turned it around experimentally in his hands. “the font’s all the same. you got the library check in/check out slip attached to the inside of the front cover. someone even went to the trouble of getting the same type of leather for the book binding.” Sans eyed Jeremy. “getting something like that together so quickly means you either have a lot of money or you know people…or both.” 

Jeremy coughed. “What you’re suggesting is impossible!” 

Sans chuckled. “heh. that’s what I thought too. but see, there was one mistake they made.”

“A m-mistake?” 

“yup.” Sans flipped to the front cover and opened it up. “see, where pap and i grew up, there was this library down the street. they had all sorts of books to check in and check out. great place. found a lot of stories to read to pap for bedtime.”

“What’s the point of this?” Jeremy growled. 

“heh. pretty impatient i see. well, when they were first building the place and getting the books together, they had this one monster leading the design team. he worked really hard on getting everything done on time. say, go ahead and read this for me.” Jeremy took the book from the skeleton and eyed it irritably. 

“Property of Snowdin Library,” the human read from the library check in slip. “If you’re done wasting my time, feel free to leave,” Jeremy ordered, turning around and walking away from Sans. 

“problem was, this monster wasn’t too good at spelling. you see, every time he wrote “library”, he actually wrote “librarby.”” Jeremy froze in his steps. “and the worst part,” Sans laughed, “is that this monster designed everything. from the sign out front, to the name tags of the clerks, to the check in/check out slips in the books.”

Jeremy let out a shaky laugh. “That doesn’t mean anything.” 

Sans grinned. “you’re right. there’s lots of people with money and connections…but there’s only one human i know who would have any reason to use them for some old fashioned dating manual that my brother used to try to get a girl…that you just so happen to have brought home, drunk.” 

Jeremy was shaking but finally let out a sharp breath. “You-you can’t prove anything,” he laughed weakly. “That’s just a theory. Do you have any proof?” 

Sans shook his head. “nah. but there’s a very emotional woman in the other room who will probably believe just about anything at the moment.” Jeremy quickly glanced at the still closed bathroom door and looked back at him worriedly. 

“What do you want?” 

“i want the girl.” Jeremy fumed silently. Sans shrugged. “now i don’t really know what your end goal is, but i think there’s a saying here that goes, ah, better to lose the battle than the war or something.” The skeleton stuck his hands back into the sweater pockets at the sound of the bathroom door unlocking. “choice is yours, jeremy.” Sans ended as the door opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, give a huge thanks to PartTimeGiraffeChoreographer! Because of them, we know that Jeremy actually is a shithead. 
> 
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> 


	71. The Morning After (One Week Later) (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome to Act 2.  
> When we last left off...everything had gone to shit.  
> That being said, let's continue.
> 
> Ooh! Actually, on a side note, a couple of the UT fanfic writers are trying to get together a collection of UT Christmas stories. So if any one of you guys feel in the Christmas mood, we would absolutely love for you to join us and write a short story. It can be anywhere from a paragraph to a novelette. All subjects are fair game and all are welcome...except for you, Jerry...ugh, okay, fine even Jerry. After it, it's Christmas season (although I bet the little prick will bitch about the lack of wifi). Deadline would be Dec 31st. Holla at me if you're interested.

You woke on a wet pillow to a pounding hangover and a severe stabbing sensation in your chest. Slowly, you pulled yourself to a sitting position on the bed and rubbed the temples of your head. “Goddamn, what happened last night?” You moaned. You stood up unsteadily and immediately crumbled back onto the bed. You shut your eyes in exasperation and reached into the drawer beside you. You fished out your headache meds and popped two in your mouth, only to immediately spit them out as you realized you had grabbed 2 dog treats instead. “Oh Jesus Christ,” You gasped, getting up off the bed and walked into the restroom. You had meds in there.

After 15 minutes of taking the correct pills and laying your head against the cool surface of the porcelain idol, the splitting headache began to abate but the chest palpitations stayed steady. The absence of at least some pain allowed you to stand up and go to your bathroom mirror. You looked into your reflection and jumped back. “Oh Fuck! What the fuck?!” You risked another glance. You were in a tattered, dirty cocktail dress. Your eyes were very red, your make up a mess. If you didn’t know any better, you would have sworn that you had been crying…

Oh. Right. Fuck. You had. Because of…

You heard your phone ringing and you followed the sound of your ringtone back to your bedroom. You unburied your phone from the covers and looked to see who was calling. It was Papyrus. You rejected the call. You went to put the phone down and it rang again. It was Papyrus.

You silenced your phone and took off your clothes. It was Sunday. Thank God it was a Sunday. You couldn’t have gone into work if this was Monday but you had time. Time to clean up, your home and yourself. Hopefully enough time to forget one of the craziest weeks you ever had in your life. Yes, in one week, a Monster managed to enter your life, put you through a whirlwind of excitement, adventure and romance...only to deposit you at the dumpster on his way back to where ever he came from.

Your phone was still ringing and you ignored it to walk into the shower instead. You let the hot water hit you in the head as you watched the swirl of your eyeshadow flow down the drain. Your head had started to clear up. Now if only your chest stopped pounding. “Goddamn, it really hurts,” you winced, rubbing your chest, “Am I literally having a heartache over this?” You finished showering, hoping the hot water would clear up the chest pain.

It didn’t. “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!!” You yelled, “I knew him for one week!! What the hell is wrong with me?!?!”

There was a polite knock on your door and you slipped on a bath robe to go answer it. You opened it up to see a smiling Kaylie. “Hi Kaylie,” you greeted.

“Good morning...ah, my family couldn’t help but overhear you swearing profusely at a really loud volume...is everything okay?”

You smacked your face. “Oh God, man, sorry. Ah, gee.” You sighed. “I got stood up by Papyrus last night.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” Kaylie’s face fell. “He seemed like such a nice skeleton.”

“Yeah...well, he’s an as-uh, he’s a huge jerk and I hope I never see him again,” you corrected yourself carefully in front of your very polite, very Mormon neighbor.

“Well, I suppose not-.” You suddenly had an idea.

“Kaylie! You’re a teacher, right?”

“...yes?”

“With a classroom?”

“Uh huh.”

“Are you teaching today?”

“It’s summer...but I am teaching Sunday school.”

“Is there a biology part of your classroom?”

“Uh, there’s some stuff in storage, yes.”

“Any chance there’s a skeleton in there?”

“...What?”

~~~~~

You held your phone in your hand and watched as Papyrus tried to call again. You ignored the call and continued to delete the text messages and picture he had sent you. He called again. You growled and pulled up Sans’ text conversation. You typed a message. “Get your brother to stop calling me, now.”

You got a message back fairly quick. “yah, not gonna get in the middle of this more than i have already.” You thought about writing back a stinging reply but instead hit dial.

The phone connected and you immediately launched into, “You think you’re not already in the middle of this from last night-!”

“Lori?” You froze. That wasn’t Sans’s voice on the other end.

“Papyrus?” Your voice started to tremble and you quickly stabbed a pen into your thigh to stop the shaking. Nothing you could really do about your chest pounding although now that you thought about it, your chest didn’t hurt as much as it had just moments ago. You brushed those thoughts away as Papyrus spoke.

“I’m not sure if you know this but I’ve been trying to reach you since last night. I was very worried about you.”

You let your voice become hard. “Yes. I know.”

“You-you know?” Papyrus sounded confused. “Then why did you not pick up?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” you growled.

“Nyeh, ah, well, you don’t understand…” he tried.

You laughed a hollow laugh. “Oh, I understand perfectly alright. You stood me up. You never wanted a relationship with me. And if you did, well, you clearly are not old enough or experienced enough to have one with me.”

“That’s not true! I am old enough! I am experienced! I did-I do want a relationship!” He protested.

“Then you’re just a horrible Monster, Papyrus.”

“What?"

“You heard me. You are a terrible, horrible Monster and I never want you to talk to me again.”

“But-!”

“Never.”

“Ah, well, I see. Good bye, Lori.” And with that he disconnected the phone. You pulled the phone away apprehensively and watched it. You were sure any minute now, he would call again.

He didn’t call. A minute passed and he didn’t call. Five minutes passed and he didn’t call. Fifteen minutes passed…

He didn’t call. And your chest hurt once more.

~~~~~

Papyrus hung up the phone and stood there in stumped silence. Sans shuffled awkwardly. “hey bro, are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for letting me borrow your phone,” his younger brother thanked, handing him the phone back.

“pap? you’re shaking.”

“I am?” Papyrus realized his hand was trembling as he handed the phone back. “How strange. Excuse me, Sans. But I think I would like to go to my room.”

“alright.”

Papyrus quietly walked upstairs to his room and closed the door after him. He looked at his bed and realized he hadn’t made it yet today. How odd. To be honest, he didn’t even remember really sleeping in it. He had been trying to dial you until his battery died. Maybe he fell asleep then? He wasn’t sure. But either way, there was a bed to be made.

He started to pull the covers up when he stopped. There was a lump under the blankets. “The sheets are tangled again,” he muttered, reaching under the blankets to pull them up as well. He became confused as he touched something that was most definitely not his sheets. He pulled it out and stared at it.

It was your hoody. You had left it in his car on the last date and he must have brought it in at some point. The red hoody was slightly wrinkled and he could see flecks of sand still attached to the article of clothing. He thumbed the material. It wasn’t a very thick sweater. What was it even made of? He probably should read the instructions so he could wash it correctly. Yes! That way, if you both ran into each other, he could immediately hand you your sweatshirt. And you would be so touched by his thoughtfulness that you want to talk with him again…maybe.

It wasn’t the best plan but it was the best plan for now. He began to read the tiny print but found himself becoming distracted. He couldn’t help but notice that your sweater still smelled like you. It really shouldn’t have surprised him that your clothing would smell like you, but it did. He put one hand down and found it on his bed. When had he sat down? Why wasn’t his bed made yet? He made a motion to put your sweater down but stopped as he spotted his phone.

“Oh! Someone left me a voicemail!” He realized, seeing a small blinking light on his phone. He dialed the voicemail and began to listen.

“You have four new messages. First unheard message:

“Hey Papyrus, it’s Lori. Um, I’m just calling to say I’m at the restaurant...waiting. I guess you’re running a bit late. Hope you’re not stuck in traffic. Can you give me a call when you get close? See you soon.” Papyrus saw that the first missed call had been at 7:15 PM. He had remembered seeing his phone light up and he did his best to ignore your call until it ended. You sounded hopeful and optimistic. You had seemed concerned for him. He pressed a button to play the next one.

“Message Erased!”

“What? No!” Papyrus had pressed the wrong button. He could have sworn it was the 4.

“Next unheard message:”

“Hello Papyrus. This is Lori. Your date. For 7. It is 7:30. Listen, if this is some kind of joke, it’s not really funny. Seriously. Is something happening that you don’t want to tell me about? Cause right now, I’m really really not happy. Call me back now.” You were right. You did not sound happy. Papyrus had actually put you through to voicemail quicker this time as he had been really tempted to answer his phone. You were really upset. This time he knew he knew it was the 7.

“Message Erased!”

Papyrus could have flung his phone to the ground.

“Next unheard message:”

Papyrus’ sockets widened at the next message. It was from you. Your voice was so low, he almost didn’t hear and he quickly rewound it to make sure he was hearing it correctly.

“Papyrus, it’s me, Lori. How-how could you do this to me? I thought you liked me? Did I do something wrong? Or...or, was this just a game, a puzzle for you to figure out? Well…guess what...you won. You got the human to..I really liked you….Wherever you are, I hope it was worth it because I never want to see you again. Good bye…Papyrus.”

A heavy weight settled in his chest as the message ended. Your optimism and sarcasm had been completely wiped clean. You spoke quietly, your voice quivering. You sounded broken and defeated. You were hurt. Papyrus’ chest ache as he came to the stark realization. You had liked him and he had broken your heart.

“Message Erased!” Papyrus didn’t even react to his delete happy phone. He remained sitting, cradling his head between his hands.

“I didn't mean for this to happened.” He told the sweater. The sweater did not respond.

“Next unheard message:”

He raised his head. The final voicemail was quiet, the sound of crying could be heard. Was that you? It sounded like you. There were two people arguing in the background. Their voices were muffled. Had you accidentally dialed him? Where were you? He didn’t recognize the voices. And then a woman screamed. “Get your hands off of me! You can’t treat me like this!”

Papyrus’ heart beat wildly. That hadn’t been you screaming. He knew your voice. He could only hope whoever screamed was okay because the message shortly ended after that.

“Message Saved!” He clicked his teeth.

“Really?” He asked in exasperation. All three messages from you – gone. He looked at the sweater he still held in his hand.

This, this was the only thing he had left of you. His bed no longer carried your scent, having been washed at least once or twice. You hadn’t given him any gifts or tokens of affection. The only evidence that this entire week wasn’t just some odd, wonderful dream was this sweater that he had intended upon washing.

He held your sweater to his chest protectively. This was all he had left. He glanced at the door. It was still closed. You hadn’t asked for your sweater back on the phone…

Finally, with one more tug of the blanket, Papyrus finished making his bed. It was almost perfect. The pillow was a bit lumpy but that was to be expected. Afterall, even folded and placed under a pillow, your sweater still had some texture to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it bad that I got the feelz at this chapter? =( That probably sounds pretentious as fuck...but the feelz man. :(
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
>   
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
>   
>   
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> 


	72. One Day at A Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks for hanging in there! A few things
> 
> 1\. I'm sorry I haven't responded to everyones' comments yet. My schedule has been hectic and getting my phone to do mobile AOO can be a nightmare. But I have read all of them and I will get to everyone!
> 
> 2\. That Christmas story collection mentioned last chapter is still going strong and it'd be cool for you to submit a story if you feel so inclined. I am working on one that I should hopefully have done by Christmas. And it will be in the universe of Must Love Animals.
> 
> 3\. Things will get better. It's sad now, but the humor will return.

Monday morning, you sat in your car in the employee parking lot and stared at your reflection in the mirror. You took a deep breath and repeated the mantra you had practiced since last night when the chest pounding became unbearable. 

“I don’t like Papyrus and he never liked me. I don’t like Papyrus and he never liked me,” you repeated, staring at your reflection until a calm stoicness settled onto your face. The ache was still there but it abated in its severity. Or at least enough for you to get out of the car to go to work. 

You somehow managed to sneak in without Pam spotting you, which in of itself was a feat of wonder since that woman had remarkable hearing and sight for her age. You entered the employee room and put your belongings on the shelf. You could do this. You were going to be calm and collected and forget about that date with the skeleton who shall not be named

“Hey fucknuts, how was your date with Papyrus?” Tim chuckled as he walked in. 

~~~~~

“Go on and have a seat,” Tina, your boss, gestured to the chair in front of her. Sighing, you took a seat. 

“Good morning, Tina,” you greeted. 

“Do you know why you’re here?” she asked, pressing her fingers together.

“No.”

Her face fell and she resorted to her trucker personality. “Oh dammit, you know why you’re here.” You buried your head in your hands. “Listen, you were so loud that everyone in the hospital heard you. I’m sure the client would have heard you too.” You groaned. “I’m not gonna write you up because, lucky for you, the client’s deaf.” 

“That’s really lucky,” you admitted. 

Tina held up a hand. “I also received a strange email to the hospital email account from some woman named Kaylie. It was addressed to you and it had an attachment.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“I opened the attachment. Do you want to see it?” You shrugged. She turned the monitor to you and showed you the picture. “Can you explain to me why she would send you a picture of a human skeleton wearing a white t-shirt and a red scarf?”

God bless Kaylie and her determination. Sure enough, your neighbor had managed to find the full body, human sized model of a skeleton that was stored in her temple’s classroom storage. She had dressed the skeleton in a white shirt and wrapped a red scarf around its neck. And then sent a picture of it to you as you requested so you could print it out at work before you started your shift. Well, that had been the plan before you started screaming at Tim. 

“C’mon, safe environment here, yada yada, you know. Tell me what’s up or I will write you up.” 

“Papyrus stood me up.”

Tina blinked in surprise. “The skeleton? You mean the one who came by a couple times last week?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Uh, that sucks-”

“I was in Tacchialis on a Saturday night.”

“Are you ser-?!” 

“In a cocktail dress.”

“Fuck.” Tina looked at the photo. “And the picture?”

“I wanted to ask if we could use that photo to...ban him.” Tina’s eyes widened, “He’s not a client. He doesn’t own any pets.”

“Listen, I know you’ve had your fair share of exes and bad dates...but you’ve never asked to ban any of them,” Tina argued. “And you’re asking me to ban this Monster after what, a week of knowing him?”

It sounded absolutely insane when your boss said it outloud but you nodded anyway. “Yes.” 

Tina sighed. “Listen, just, think about this for the next week. If you still feel the same way, then I’ll ban him. Alright?” 

“Fair enough.” Worst case scenario, you could always beg someone higher up to help you out or something.

“Good, now go kiss and make up with Tim before he starts crying or something,” Tina advised. You nodded and walked back to the technician area. 

Tim spotted you and flinched. You sighed once more. “Hey, Tim, dude, I’m sorry. I just...the date didn’t go well.” 

“Oh, I know.” 

“You do?” 

“I figured it didn’t when you were screaming, ‘Fuck that motherfucker playing with my emotions, I hope he fucking sinks in a pool and he can’t get out.’” 

“Ah yeah, he stood me up.”

Tim gave you a hug. “I’m sorry, that sucks. Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Maybe in a day or so, just let’s see if I get through today without any more breakdowns.” 

~~~~~

You were able to clock out with most of your dignity still intact at the end of the day. The staff had heard your profanity laden screaming this morning and for the most part, just let you do your own thing. Nobody, not even Pam, brought up the date. Nobody said anything either at the frequency of which you excused yourself to go to the restroom in order to repeat your mantra enough to make your chest ache less. 

You got home and heard your Undernet app pinging and debated opening it. “Nothing good is going to come out of that,” you realized and you attempted to uninstall...only to watch it refuse to uninstall. “Warning, cannot alter core programming without Developer Encrypted Password,” you read. Well so much for that idea. 

You spotted the flyer you had left on the counter and cringed. “Fucking dance lessons!” You growled. You crumpled up the flyer and tossed it toward the trash can only to watch it bounce off the edge and land on the ground. You didn't bother to pick it up. You tried to watch television for the rest of the night.

~~~~~

Tuesday came around and you found yourself going to work without screaming at anyone. It took some time and a couple frequent trips to the restroom but you were able to appease the chest pains with your little chant. 

You actually cracked a joke. It wasn't a good one nor was it work appropriate, but the raucous laughter it received made you smile quietly the rest of the day. 

When you finally made it home, you actually ventured a peek online and played a few games.

~~~~~

Wednesday had you yelling “happy hump day” to everyone you saw. The chest pains were softer and required less time chanting for them to abate. You rubbed your face in Tommy’s belly, you began to deepen your voice when pretending to speak for a Great Dane. Overall, you felt yourself smile. 

You were clocking out when you got a text from Jeremy. You opened it. “Hey can we talk? Maybe over dinner?” 

You sighed, your smile fading. Oh yes. That was something else you would rather have not dwelled on either. To be completely honest, Jeremy had been one of the farthest things from your mind these past few days. That whole nearly kiss thing in the penthouse kinds embarrassed you. Not only about your intoxicated behavior but by how, despite your best efforts, it was really really hard to see Jeremy as a romantic partner. 

You texted back. “Sure. I’m just getting off now. Can’t be anything too late. I've got to be at work tomorrow really early.

“Yeah, sure. We could get pizza.”

“Pizza sounds good.”

Your phone dinged. “How about that pizza place on Broadway?”

“Sounds good. See you around 7.”

You looked up from your phone and nearly ran into TJ. “Oh, sorry TJ!” You apologized sincerely. 

“It’s quite alright. I actually need to speak with you.” 

You raised an eyebrow. “I’m off the clock.” 

“I know. I need to thank you.”

“Thank me?” 

TJ looked uncomfortable. “Yes, I realize that this is a bit late, but considering the circumstances, I opted to wait. I want to thank you for going to Undyne’s house for the housecall. And then subsequently being knocked unconscious from what I understand.” 

You chuckled and rubbed your head. “Yeah, uh, that was pretty exciting…and deadly.” 

“So, because you did this for me. Well, it makes sense that I somehow return the gesture.” 

You cocked your head at him. “Uh, I don’t need you to make a housecall…” You paused and realized how uncomfortable TJ really looked. Was he suggesting what you thought he was suggesting? “Are you saying that you owe me one?”

He groaned. “Sorta. Let’s just say, a favor. A favor that was not motivated at all by Pam threatening my employment and future happiness.”

You blinked. “Huh.”

“Obviously, you don’t need to tell anyone else about this.”

“Right, right. Gotcha.” This was it. This was your ticket. If Tina refused to ban Papyrus, then you could use your favor to get it done. It was a win-win for you. You shot him a winning smile and he sighed.

“You’re going to tell everyone, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Yes, but you owe me one!” 

~~~~~

You felt somewhat dumpy in your oversized hoody and jeans but you were too tired to really care. You yawned and glanced at your phone as you waited outside the restaurant. No phone call from Papyrus. In fact, no phone call from any monster now that you thought about it. Even your dating coach had vanished after Saturday night. You had been sure that the mechanical monster would have tried to pull something to change your mind, but Mettaton appeared to have gone AWOL. 

“Hey! There you are!” You heard Jeremy holler.

“Oh, hey,” you couldn’t help but yawn as you greeted the sweat pant wearing man. 

“Jeez, you sound really tired.”

“It’s been a hell of a week.” 

“Ah yeah. I would imagine. But hey, at least it's hump day, right?”

“Yay.” You unenthusiastically cheered. 

“I know what will cheer you up. Pizza! Pizza makes everything feel better!”

“Yeah, pizza is always good.” 

“Just uh. Don't order the Star Pizza?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Star Pizza?”

“It was a pizza dish suggested by Mettaton.”

“...does it have glitter in it?”

“Sequins but yeah.”

You stuck out your tongue. “Yeah. I'll pass, thanks. I would like to eat something edible tonight if I could.” Even when he was not present, Mettaton still managed to intrude upon your daily life. You followed your friend in, missing the glint of something metallic from the window of a large van right outside the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome. Thank you for hanging out.  
> Got any Christmas traditions?
> 
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> 


	73. A New Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone got through your finals okay! Remember, a final is not the end of the world, a class can always be retaken, and honestly your health trumps a grade. Because there's always school, but there's only one of you. 
> 
> Uh, what I'm trying to say is, good luck and take care of yourself, guys!
> 
> On to the chapter!

Mettaton glowered as he watched you enter the restaurant through his binoculars. “Ugh! I guess there's no accounting for taste when it comes to humans, right Burgerpants?”

“Uh. Guess not?”

“What’s the point of having edible food if it doesn't sparkle?” Mettaton crossed his arms in disappointment as BP adjusted the frequency device.

“Shit.”

“No profanity.”

“I can't hear them anymore.”

“Shit.” Mettaton swore. BP shot him a look and Mettaton shooed him. “Oh hush. Right. Well we got to find some way to get you in there without being noticed.”

BP blinked in surprise. “Me? Why me?”

“Darling, despite my excellent costume design skills, I'm afraid that I am just too well loved that some fan is bound to notice me and spoil the whole thing.”

“Ah.”

Mettaton snapped his fingers. “I have just the thing but it's going to require a little bit of acting on your part. Do you think you would be able to play the role of a disgruntled employee working in the food industry?” BP stared at Mettaton.

“Yeah, that won't be a problem.”

~~~~~

You guys placed your orders and sat at the table for a few moments quietly. “Listen, ah. about Saturday night,” Jeremy began. 

“Holy shit, we're not going to have some small talk first?” You gaped at him. Shit, you weren't expecting his directness. 

Jeremy shrugged. “If you want. It's been warm lately.”

“Yeah-ah fuck. It's weird now.” You gave up on the small talk. “So listen about Saturday night…”

“I want to apologize,” Jeremy blurted out. 

“What?”

“I should have brought you back to your place,” Jeremy apologized, “I was worried about you having to deal with Papyrus.”

“No, no. Uh, it's fine-”

“And I'm sorry I tried to kiss you.”

And there it was out in the open. Your breath caught in your throat and the admission. “Hey, we were both pretty drunk,” you tried to argue. 

Jeremy shook his head. “No, you don't understand. I really wanted you that night. You're just so perfect.”

You felt yourself blush. “I'm not perfect, remember?”

Jeremy shook his head. “You're perfect to me.” You couldn't help the chorus of aws from the table behind him. Apparently your conversation had attracted some attention. You attempted to ignore it. 

“Ah, well thanks,” you smiled at him. 

“I have a favor to ask though.” Jeremy leaned forward and held your hands only to almost let go. “Woah. You're really really cold. Are you okay?”

“Yeah I'm fine. I've been kind of off this week,” you admitted. 

“Let me warm you up,” he asked. You nodded and felt his rather warm hands envelop your own. “I want to give us another go.”

“Okay.”

Jeremy shook his head. “Before you say no, hear me out! You see-” he stopped speaking as your words registered to him. “Wait did you say yes?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Jeremy’s face lit excitedly. “Aw man, you have no idea how happy that makes me! Listen you won't regret it! I'm going to make you so happy!”

You snickered. “Didn't you offer me that the other day?”

His face fell slightly. “Well...I really mean it. I want to make you happy. Sober happy.” He insisted. A server came by and delivered your plates with a clatter. 

You couldn't help but laugh. “Fine. Fine. So what did you want to do for our date?”

“Dancing lessons.”

Your eyes narrowed at him. “That’s not funny.” 

“I’m not trying to be.” You scoffed and looked away. He leaned in. “Listen, haven’t you ever heard that the best revenge is just to make yourself better?” You nodded and rolled your eyes. “Well, neither of us are great dancers. So here’s your chance to become one and stick it to him.” 

The idea had some merit to it, you had to admit. You mulled over this information. Plus it was an excuse to get off your ass. This entire week so far you had either gone to work or just stayed home. You hadn’t even tried to go out or hell, even check your online dating account. If this kept up, you might actually become a vegetable. 

“Alright, alright, I might be interested. Did you have a class in mind?”

Jeremy grinned and reached into his wallet. He unfolded a piece of paper and placed it in front of you. You picked it up and scanned it as he spoke to you. “It’s called Introductory to Dance. It’s like a 6 week course. You meet three times a week and learn all sorts of dance styles, like the waltz, salsa, rumba, swing...the tango,” he ended with a wink. 

“The tango?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“I know you’re tempted.” 

“I kinda am,” you admitted. “Alright, how do I sign up? How much is it?” 

“I already signed you up.” 

“What?”

“Classes start this Friday.”

“Are you serious?”

“7:00pm.”

“Let me just say-!”

“Sunset Ballroom!”

“Motherfu-!”

“Wear sneakers.” 

You glared at Jeremy. “Dammit, dude. Don’t do that stuff. I told you I don’t like when you make decisions for me like this. What if I had a late night shift or something?”

“Do you?”

“No.” 

“Then it all works out.”

You were too tired to argue. “This Friday you said?” 

He nodded. “Do you want to carpool?” 

“Nah. I’ll be getting off work at 6 so I’ll just leave from there.” 

“Well alright.” He picked up his slice of pizza. “A toast! To us!” 

You lifted up your slice of pizza. “To saying fuck you to bad dates.”

“Sure!” Jeremy stuck the slice in his mouth only to immediately cough and gag.

You stopped before you took a bite. “Holy shit Jeremy! Are you okay?” 

“What the hell is on my pizza?” He gagged, pulling the slice away from his mouth. You stared at the site dumbly. 

“That looks like a hairball,” You stated dumbly. It was an orangey brown hairball. You blanched. How the hell did such a big hairball get here? Had you accidentally bring it in? Did you need to buy more lint rollers?

Jeremy was already stopping your server. “Hey, what the fuck’s this on my pizza?” He demanded. 

The server looked shocked. “I-I don’t know! But I didn’t even bring your order yet!” He protested. 

“What?”

“It’s still in the oven, I swear!” The server exclaimed. 

Jeremy blinked angrily. “Then who the fuck just gave us this pizza?”

~~~~~

“Well, I hope you’re real proud of yourself.” 

Burgerpants said nothing as he removed the apron and tossed it in the chest of disguises the robot star had in the van.

“I’m all for dramatic tension, really, I truly am! Just…” Mettaton raised his hands only to let them fall to his sides as his employee took off the fake pizza hat and tossed it aside. “Did you really have to leave a-ah-a…”

“A hairball?” Burgerpants suggested.

Mettaton nodded. “Yes, that.” He crossed his arms. “Ugh. Just…Why? I’m sure that could have waited until you got home?”

The monster had a mischievous smile alight his feline face. “I’ve always this fantasy of wanting to spit in a bad customer’s food before. I figure this comes pretty close.”

Mettaton’s monitor paled. “Just a fantasy…right?” The monster didn’t answer. “Burgerpants?”

“Do you want to hear the recording I got?” 

“I want you to answer my question.” 

“So I should just delete it?” 

“…Play the recording.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how Papyrus' week is going. Would you guys like to find out?
> 
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people!  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> 


	74. The Same Week on the Flipside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> As promised, we are going to see what the heck Papyrus has been up to for the last week. Or, half week. This chapter runs a bit long. Hopefully that won't be a problem.
> 
> We got new fanart!! :D We have an awesome group shot from Letsallbecalmchaps! Make sure to give them some love! :D  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> And now, without further ado, onto the chapter.

Papyrus woke up Monday morning. He stretched, stood up and put on his boots. He made his bed and soon headed downstairs. He ate some breakfast, stretched once more and then headed out. He paused when he spotted your shoe in his car. Ah yes. You had left that behind. He took the shoe from the passenger side and stashed it in the trunk before driving. The drive to Undyne and Alphys’ home was relatively peaceful. He arrived and parked his car. He blinked in surprise. Undyne was not outside. Normally she would be outside by this time. 

He knocked on her door and waited patiently. Silence. He knocked again politely. He heard a disgruntled yell. The door was yanked open and an Undyne in pajamas stood there, looking thoroughly annoyed. “Papyrus,” she yawned, “What are you doing here?”

“Nyeh, I’m here for training?”

Undyne stared at him. “It’s 3am, Papyrus. 3 in the fucking morning!” 

Papyrus blanched. “Are you sure?” Undyne nodded. Papyrus looked rather distressed. “Nyeh, I don’t understand how this happened!” 

Undyne groaned. “Ugh, come on in, Pap. Let’s talk about last night.” Papyrus shuffled nervously but followed his captain into her house. 

“Ah yes, last night did not go well.” 

Undyne snorted. “That’s the understatement of the year. It was a disaster!” Undyne motioned for the skeleton to sit down at the table and she sat across from him. “Why’d you do it? Why did you stand the human up?” 

Papyrus sighed and his shoulders dropped. “Well, I was following the advice from my dating handbook.”

“Dating handbook?” 

“Yes. It provided detailed instructions on what to do for a third date and I did my best to follow it exactly,” Papyrus explained. 

“That was terrible advice it gave you then. Where is it?” 

Papyrus shrugged. “I’m not really sure. The last I saw the book, it was at Grillby’s after the human left but now I can’t find it.” 

“Just as well, I was going to burn it anyway.”

“Undyne! You shouldn’t burn books!” 

“Why not?”

“Nyeh, it’s just not right.”

“Ugh. Alright maybe it’s not a good idea.” Undyne leaned back in her chair. “So what time are we going to her apartment?” 

Papyrus shook his head. “We’re not. She said she doesn’t want to speak to me again.”

“Oh…So what’s the plan?”

“I shall resume training for the Royal Guard!” Papyrus declared proudly. 

Undyne thumped her chest proudly. “Yah! Alright! That’s the spirit! Now here’s your first command! Go sit in the car and let me get some more sleep!” 

“Nyeh heh heh, of course!” Papyrus agreed. Undyne let him out and then trudged sleepily back to the bedroom. 

Alphys stirred as her girlfriend got back under the covers with her. “Who wuuzzat?” The dinosaur monster mumbled. 

“It was Papyrus.”

Alphys yawned. “What time is it?”

Undyne sighed. “Like 3:30am? He’s about 3 hours early for training.”

“Uhhh, why is he so early?” 

“I think he’s pretty bummed out about the human,” Undyne guessed as she spooned her girlfriend.

“…what happened with the human?” Alphys asked. 

“Oh shit. Right. Uh Pap stood her up and she never wants to talk to him again. Good night,” Undyne yawned.

“Wait what?!” 

~~~~~

Training went remarkably uneventful, Undyne noted as her soldiers departed. Papyrus really did appear recovered, albit, a bit distracted every now and then when his phone rang. Undyne headed aside and found Alphys already serving two bowls of mac n cheese. “Uh, so how’s everything?” Alphys asked.

“To be honest, it seems to be okay.”

“Papyrus is alright?”

Undyne shrugged. “He didn’t really talk about it. He’s trying his best not to let it bother him, I guess.”

“I suppose that’s for the best? So he’s going to be okay?” Alphys plopped herself down next to Undyne and hit play on the anime she had paused. 

“Pap? Oh yeah, he’ll be totally fine. He’s a big softie but a strong big softie.” Alphys nodded and turned to watch the show until Undyne suddenly clicked her fangs. “Well, he’ll be totally fine once he gets his aiming all figured out.”

“Aiming?”

“Yeah. Every time he does a projectile attack, he hits the target but not directly. He’s off just a bit. It’s nothing really major, but I’ll bring it up if it keeps happening…why are you looking at me like that?” 

~~~~~ 

It took Alphys until Tuesday afternoon to implement her plan of action, and even then, she wasn’t sure she could totally pull it off. 

“H-hey Papyrus, how are you doing?” Alphys asked as she approached the skeleton.

“I am very good! Thank you for asking, Dr. Alphys! How are you?” Papyrus asked eagerly. 

She adjusted her glasses. “Oh, I’m alright, I guess.” The scientist had forced her girlfriend to stay awake until she explained exactly what had happened Saturday night. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. She was downright mortified. “Do you have a few minutes?” She asked shyly.

“Of course, Dr. Alphys! Captain Undyne has gone in the house to look for something.” Alphys nodded. She was the one who sent Undyne into the house to look for a tool that did not exist. At most, it would buy her about 5 minutes of uninterrupted time. She debated walking away but convinced herself to remain in front of Papyrus. This would probably be her only chance to speak with the skeleton warrior before either Undyne returned or her nerve gave out. 

“So-ah, I’m asking questions of all the soldiers and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind answering a few questions uh, if that’s alright with you?” 

“I would not mind at all.” Papyrus nodded and Alphys let out a sigh of relief that the skeleton believed her lie. 

“Ah, alright, good, because this is a real thing. Uh, are you getting at least 8 hours of sleep?” 

“Sleep? Ha! I have too much energy to sleep!” Papyrus haughtily declared.

“Uh huh. Alright ah, are you eating nutritional balanced meals?”

“Of course! Spaghetti is the food of champions!” 

“Noodles in general are amazing,” Alphys agreed with a chuckle. “Uh, well, anything-!” 

“Alphys! I can’t find it!” 

“Oh no.” She had less time than she thought. “Uh last question! Are you feeling in top condition?”

“Yes…actually, now that you mention it,” Papyrus mused, “I’m actually having some discomfort in my chest.”

Alphys blinked. “Your ch-chest?”

“Alphys! Where are you?” 

Papyrus nodded and placed his hand over his chest. He winced slightly. “I must have pulled something.”

“When did it start to hurt?” 

“Alphys!” 

“Probably Saturday,” Papyrus admitted, rubbing the spot on his chest as he recollected. “I got hit by two tables. That’s probably what did it. But no matter, I’ll be 100% soon.” 

“But-!” 

“There you are!” Undyne exclaimed, running up to the two monsters, “Alphys, I’m sorry but I couldn’t find that spanner planner like you asked. However, I did find you this cool tool instead!” Undyne handed a startled Alphys a tool that looked almost like a monkey wrench except for a hammer at the other end. 

“I-I have no idea where you found this, but uh, thanks?” Alphys thanked. 

“Alright, break time is over! Back to training!” 

~~~~~

It was Wednesday afternoon when Undyne finally said, “Go take a breather.”

Papyrus blinked in surprise. “I’m sorry?” 

Undyne sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Listen, your aim has been just been off. Alphys said you got injured last Saturday?” 

Papyrus huffed. “Well…yes.” He glanced around quickly and leaned in to Undyne. “Now that you mention it, it is rather strange. I have eaten plenty of monster food since then and yet my chest still hurts.”

Undyne raised an eyebrow. “Would you say it…aches?” Papyrus nodded. “Oh boy…” She rubbed the back of her head now. “Listen, why don’t you go take the rest of the day off. Go for a walk downtown, do a housing project, something to get your mind off of… stuff.”

“Stuff? I don’t understand.”

“Just go and relax a bit.”

Papyrus’ jaw dropped “Relax?!” 

“That’s an order!” Papyrus’ shoulders sagged and Undyne softened. “Listen, heck, even the greatest warriors need to take a break from training every now and then, otherwise they get all burned out. Plus!” She elbowed him. “Don’t you know that after a break, warriors come back and they are able to train twice as hard!!”

Papyrus almost went starry eyed. “REALLY?!” 

“Hell yes! Now go take the rest of the week off! I’ll see you Monday!”

“I won’t let you down, Undyne! I will focus entirely on relaxing so that I will be able to train even harder!” Papyrus declared enthusiastically. 

Undyne smiled and waved at Papyrus until he left. She groaned and walked over to Alphys who was busy thumbing through a large book. “Crap, Alphys, you were right,” Undyne admitted. 

“Oh uh, I’m sorry,” Alphys apologized. 

“No, don’t be sorry. That was a really smart idea,” the fish monster assured her. “I would never have thought about that.”

Alphys pointed to a page in the book. “Well, the symptoms all match everything we’ve seen. The chest pains, the deviation from normal routine, it’s all here.”

Undyne read the book over her shoulder. “Who would have thought…our Papyrus going through his first heartache.”

~~~~~

The kitchen had been cleaned at least three times by the time Papyrus brought the vacuum to his own room. A clean home always relaxed him so it made sense that a super clean home would make him even more relaxed. And if he relaxed fast enough, he could return to training sooner! He pushed opened the door to his room and began to vacuum diligently. He had finished about 50% of the room when the power cord became taut and he could proceed no further. 

Drat! He really had to look into getting a vacuum with a longer cable. He left the room to unplug the vacuum and returned with the cord to his room. He spotted an empty socket and replugged in the vacuum with a satisfying click. He moved toward his bed and lifted the blanket off the floor so he could vacuum along the sides of the race car. His socket caught site of his uneven pillow and he unconsciously turned the vacuum off. He briefly forgot why his pillow was lumpy and reached to fluff it back to normal, only for his hand to brush a piece of clothing underneath it. 

His chest spasmed as he remembered that he had stashed your sweater underneath his pillow. He pulled the sweater out and observed it once more. What had he been thinking, putting your sweater underneath his pillow? That was incredibly strange. Why didn’t he just put this in a bottom drawer, out of the way? That made far more sense and he made a motion to do that only to stop as he felt a sharp pain in his chest at the plan. 

Papyrus looked at the sweater dumbfounded. It was very odd for his chest to twinge like that at that exact moment. Perhaps, and it was a long shot, but perhaps the thought of storing your sweater caused him the pain? Could your sweater have some type of healing property that had been mending his chest when he was in close proximity with the piece of clothing? That would be pretty strange but then again there was a lot about humans he still did not know about. He sat on the bed and began to weigh these options. 

~~~~~

Sans sat on the bar stool, enjoying his tomato beverage. He had gotten off work about 30 minutes ago and knew Papyrus wouldn’t be home until closer to 6 that night. So it was the perfect opportunity for him to catch up with Grillby. “hey so, uh, sorry about the tables,” Sans apologized. 

The fire elemental shrugged and continued to clean a few glasses. Sans glanced at the back door and hummed. “ya know, maybe you wanna consider putting a lock on that back door. i hear that humans keep escaping that way.” Grillby shot him a dirty look and Sans chuckled. “nah, i don’t think a lock would have stopped her from leaving either.” 

Sans shifted uncomfortably as the mention of you and rubbed his clavicle. Between Papyrus and an increasing amount of tension at his job at the university, this had been a somewhat stressful week. Some of those students had mouthed off a few things at him and although none of them tried anything, he couldn’t help but feel slightly wary. The tension was palpable these days and although he could hide it pretty well, what he wouldn’t give for another good rut with you. 

But for the time being, it did not appear that you would be returning anytime soon. After the first day, Papyrus had appeared unaffected by your absence and resumed training as usual so a reconciliation seemed unlikely. Sans shrugged. Maybe he could give you a ring in a month or so if there was no progress by then. Until then, the ketchup was doing a pretty good job of taking the edge off the tension. The sound of his phone ringing interrupted any further thoughts and conversation. Sans answered his cell phone. “hey paps, what’s up?”

“SANS!!!!” 

Sans’ smile faltered slightly. His brother sounded absolutely panicked. “hey, what’s going on? you ok?” 

“EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY!!!! YOU NEED TO COME TO THE HOUSE AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!!”

“okay.” Sans disconnected the phone and immediately was in his own home. He landed in the living room and quickly looked around. Everything seemed to be normal. Maybe a bit cleaner than normal actually. “pap?” Sans called out. 

“SANS!” The older skeleton looked up to see his younger brother dashing down the stairs quickly. He also looked unharmed so Sans relaxed slightly. 

“you okay?” Sans looked up at Papyrus as he grabbed both his shoulers.

He really did seem panicked. “SANS! It was terrible! TERRIBLE!! I TOOK A NAP!” 

Sans blinked. “what?”

Papyrus released him and began to pace back and forth. “I was just vacuuming my room, minding my own business when I sat down on my bed. And the next thing I knew, an hour passed! I had napped for a whole hour!!” He paused and shot a distressed look at Sans.

“just an hour?” Sans snickered. 

“DON’T LAUGH! THIS IS SERIOUS!” he whined. “This whole WEEK has been off! I showed up to training 2 hours early, Undyne said my aim has been off! She told me to go home and take a break until Monday! And now, I’m taking naps-SANS DO NOT LAUGH!” 

Sans stifled another giggle. “sorry bro.” 

Papyrus sighed. “It might not have been that terrible but not even a…nap,” he said the word with such revulsion, “was able to alleviate my chest ache.”

“chest ache?” Sans asked, wiping an invisible tear from his sockets. Papyrus huffed irritably and Sans prodded him. “pap? what do you mean, chest ache?” 

Papyrus groaned and gestured to his chest. “This! I must have pulled a bone or something Saturday night because it’s been bothering me since then.” 

“have you considered taking off your battle body armor?”

“Nyeh! I hardly think my armor has gotten too heavy for me!” 

“i mean, uh, have you taken it off to check yourself. see if you broke anything?” 

Papyrus hummed. “I get plenty of calcium, my bones are not brittle…but perhaps, a check wouldn’t hurt? Would you mind?” 

Sans shook his head and his eyes glinted for a moment as he scanned his younger brother. He shook his head. “whelp, your hp is full so it’s not physical related. maybe you should take it easy.” 

“Say that again.”

“take it easy?” 

“No, no, definitely don’t say that again. Did you say it’s not physical?”

Sans nodded. “yeah, could be. maybe emotional?” 

“Preposterous!” Papyrus declared with such fervor that Sans had to take a step back. “Emotions cannot cause physical pain! They can make you stronger, but they do not make you weaker!” He emphasized by beating his chest with his other hand. 

Sans blinked in surprise. “pap, what’s that?” 

“What’s what?”

“what’s that in your hand?” Sans asked, pointing to his brother’s fist that was clenched to his chest. 

Papyrus looked down at his hand and blinked in surprise. “Oh! I appear to have brought the human’s sweater with me.” 

“pap.” 

“I mean, it’s not that I didn’t realize I was holding it. That would be very strange.” 

“pap.”

“That would suggest that something important is distracting me from my normal thoughts of how awesome I am.”

“pap.”

“What?”

“i think you miss the human.” 

Papyrus laughed. “Sans! Of course I miss their friendship! They were very fun to hang out with!” 

“nah, i mean, i think you’ve got a broken heart.”

He froze but quickly recovered. “I am absolutely sure you are wrong! For I am very knowledgeable about broken hearts and this is most definitely not one.” 

“well, i mean, it’s not really broken but it feels like it yeah?” Sans tried to explain, “some people call it a heart ache. monsters can get those when they lose someone they really care about.”

“I see. And of course I know how to fix that…but, ah how would you fix it?” Sans tried not to chuckle.

“uh, well some monsters try to make themselves really busy so they don’t think about it. out of sight, out of mind ya know? you can’t feel bad about someone you forget, right?”

“Yes, that is reasonable.” Sans sighed at his brother’s answer. He left his brother standing there to wander into the kitchen. “Um! Sans!” 

“yeah bro?”

“What if hypothetically, you didn’t want to forget?” Sans watched his brother curiously. Papyrus rubbed the back of his neck as he looked down at the sweater. “Maybe you want to remember some things, like uh how they talk or how they enjoyed reading…and maybe that she liked spaghetti…and how she smiled at me…well, used to.”

“pap?”

“This is purely hypothetically!” 

Sans smiled. “then I guess, if it was me and i did not want to forget, i’d guess i’d try to fix it then. wouldn’t you?” 

“I will, uh would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, don't get too stressed during the holidays. Remember you are wonderful and stay determined. 
> 
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people! A list I will keep adding to as long as you keep drawing cool pics! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> 


	75. Introduction to Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience!! Because you all have been so wonderful, this chapter is EXTRA long and hopefully will make a lot of you very, very excited.
> 
> We have new fanart!! Sad, sad well drawn fanart by Zully. Click it and give her some loving!! :D [Stood up/I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i).
> 
> On a side note, I have finally submitted my Christmas Story to the Undertale Holiday 2016 Fic Collection Challenge! It will be wrapped up by Christmas (with an extra special optional bonus chapter by New Years).  
> If you'd like to read my and the many stories already submitted by super cool Undertale fans, follow this link: [Undertale Holiday 2016 Fic Collection](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Undertale_Holiday_2016_Fic_Collection_Challenge) and if you want a direct link to my story, click here: [The One Eyed Christmas Kitten](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8941354/chapters/20467363). (The Christmas story is set in the same universe as Must Love Animals)
> 
> Whew, that was wordy. Happy Holidays folks!! :D

You locked the car and checked the address on your phone. “This is it,” you breathed, looking up at the building. The Sunset Ballroom. You pushed open the door and stared, not daring to step inside just yet. Although dimly lit, you recognized the large auditorium and could still make out some speakers and stacked chairs. You could almost make out the red curtains peeking out from the shadows that covered the massive windows. “God, I haven’t seen this place in ages,” you whispered, finally walking in. 

“Hey! You made it.” You looked inside to see Jeremy walking toward you. He paused and observed you. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“I’ve been here before,” you explained. 

Jeremy appeared startled. “What do you mean?” 

You gestured to the large dark room ahead of you. “When I was in 5th, er maybe 6th grade, my parents signed me up for Junior Cotillion.”

“Oh. Uh. What’s cotillion?”

You snorted. “It’s like a dance class that teaches proper manners and traditional dances and shit like that. A bunch of other kids and me met here like once a week for a semester. I guess it was kinda fun,” you admitted with a smile. 

“So should I call you a lady or something?”

“Fuck no.” You shot him a sneaky glance. “I totally should have told you that in my past life I was some sort of ballroom dancer and I performed here as a ghooooosstttt!!!” You ended in a ghostly howl as Jeremy rolled his eyes. 

“Hardy har, you’re a hoot and a holler. Now come on, the studio is this way.” 

You blinked and pointed to the ballroom. “Wait. Classes aren’t here?”

“Ha!” You both jumped up and turned to the sound of the voice. A slender man (no) leaned against a doorway and watched you both critically. “Do you really think we could use the ballroom for a beginner’s dance class?”

“Uh, yes?” You guessed. 

The man huffed and folded his arms. “It’s all that bitch Martha’s fault. You criticize her taste in men and shoes and all of a sudden you’re stuck teaching greenies how to move their feet without tripping over themselves.” 

You and Jeremy exchanged awkward looks. “Uh, are you our instructor?” Jeremy asked. 

The man raised an eyebrow at your friend. “Yes, my name is Emilio and I will be your professor of dance!” He enunciated this part with a solid stomp of his right foot as his left foot kicked out behind him. Emilio straightened out and pointed toward the room he stood next to. “Class for now will be in here until Martha is done with her little tantrum.” 

“What the hell did you sign us up for?” You whispered angrily to Jeremy as you walked in after him. 

“I didn’t know the dude was going to be a fruit basket!” Jeremy whispered back. 

“That’s homophobic!” You retorted quietly. 

“No, I mean, he’s crazy. Who said anything about him being gay? I think that’s homophobic that you said that!” 

“Shut up! You signed us up for a dance class with a crazy guy!” 

“Oh hello dears!” You both looked up from your heated whispering at the familiar female voice. It was Toriel. 

“Oh hi Toriel!” You greeted with a smile. How could anyone not smile when they saw the friendly goat monster. Frisk darted out from behind his mom and jumped up and down. “Oh! And Frisk!” 

“Well it’s a nice change to see a class allowing monsters and humans,” Jeremy remarked pleasantly. 

“I wish I could say the same for my students,” Emilio retorted, “a few of them had already walked out demanding refunds and that’s only when they saw the nice goat woman, much less the other two.”

Jeremy gritted his teeth. “That’s messed up, dude. Don’t worry, we’re going to stay!” 

“Good because I don’t do refunds,” Emilio shrugged. 

“Other two?” You asked.

“We’ve wasted too much time! Everyone in a line!” The instructor ordered. You quickly complied and fell into line with Toriel, Frisk and Jeremy as the man walked in front of the line. 

"Hello, hello! Yes, welcome to the first step toward changing your life. I am your instructor, Emilio, and for the next few weeks you will sweat, cry and bleed to become dancers!" He announced with bravado. “Or at least marginally better ones than what you were,” he muttered as the crowd clapped. 

You shot a dirty look at Jeremy who stood next to you. "Bleed?" You mouthed. He shrugged awkwardly.

"Uh. The dude is really passionate?"

"Excuse me dance human?" Your eyes nearly bulged out of your skull at the familiar voice. Oh my God. There was no way. There was no fucking way. "But monsters don't actually bleed." You looked over at Jeremy who appeared to be just as startled as you.

Toriel remained oblivious to your sudden stiffness and smiled. "Yes, he is correct. We do not bleed. However, we can sweat and cry!" She offered helpfully. That first voice. There was no mistaking it no matter how much you wished you were wrong.

"Ah, well, I guess that will work then," Emilio shrugged as you risked a glance down the line of students. You blanched. There in all of his optimistic stupid bubbliness was Papyrus.

He spotted you peeking at him and quickly waved at you. You quickly averted your eyes. The dance instructor watched the interaction with interest and a slight smile sneaked onto his face before he continued.

"So today we will only learn a few moves so you will have an opportunity to get to know your dancing partners," he explained. 

Jeremy raised a hand. "Excuse me, did you say dancing partners? As in more than 1?"

Emilio nodded. "Yes. You will all be rotating partners. Unless I have an established couple, there will be no exceptions."

Jeremy prodded you again. "Say we're a couple."

You blinked. "What? Why?"

The man gestured in the direction of Papyrus. "Do you really want to dance with him?" You bit your lip.

You were undeniably still exceedingly pissed at having been stood up. And to see him here smiling like everything was fine was absolutely infuriating. You wanted to do nothing more than walk over and throw your water bottle at him and then kick him but you refrained…barely.

A small little, nagging voice in the back of your mind was shouting something until you were forced to listen to it. You rarely hated to admit it, but maybe you did have some fun dancing with the skeleton before he became a douche. He was probably the only guy you ever danced with who seemed happy to be dancing with you. It was a nice feeling that had been tarnished now but still, a small part wanted to see if it would still feel the same way. Plus...you could kick him in the shins and claim it was an accident and everyone would believe you. 

You shook your head as you realized Jeremy was waiting for your answer. "Nah, don’t worry Jeremy. I'll be alright. Plus, I could totally step on his toes and claim it was an accident," you admitted deviously. 

Jeremy hesitated. "Are you sure about that?"

“Yeah, I mean, he’s got like big boots, it’s totally believable.”

“No, I mean, are you okay with possibly dancing with him.” 

You nodded. "Yeah I got this." You returned your attention to the instructor, missing the grimace that set upon your date's face. 

Emilio continued. "Alright ladies and individuals wanting to play the part of the female lead on this side and everyone else on that side. Those that are couples just wait where you are." 

You waved good bye to Jeremy and followed the women to other side of the floor. You chose a good spot and were surprised to see Toriel standing next to you. "Oh. Hi again, Toriel," you greeted awkwardly, "uh are you, uh, wouldn't you have come with Asgore?"

The Queen understood what you could not voice and smiled gently. "Ah yes. Asgore and I are actually divorced."

"Oh! Oh shit, sorry," you apologized. 

"No need to apologize. It was a long time ago. We had some irreconcilable differences that led to its dissolution. However, we both want future peace for monster kind and so we are working together to achieve that."

"Ah. Well that's awfully civil of you. Most divorced human couples can’t even tell each other the time of day without it turning into a screaming match," you admitted. She chuckled.

"Hi mom!!!" 

“hey kiddo.” That voice was also familiar and it made something inside you twinge in not necessarily an unwanted way. You confirmed the identity as you looked across the empty space to see Sans, Frisk and Jeremy standing across from you both. 

"Hello my child! Hello Sans!" She laughed, waving back at him. 

Jeremy chuckled and kneeled down to the kid's level. "Hey you know you're going to dance with your mom if you stay over here, right?"

Frisk beamed. "That's alright! She's hot!!" He announced to the room. Toriel stifled a snort as Jeremy and Sans blushed at the unabashedness of Frisk's outburst. 

You looked with admiration at the child. "Oh my God, Frisk..."

"He really is a shameless little flirt," she tittered. 

"Alright. Here’s what’s going to happen. I will teach each side their respective dance moves. And then we will pair up. You will practice only a few minutes with each person before moving on to the next one when I blow my whistle."

God it's was like speed dating but for dancing. What the hell was Jeremy thinking when he signed you up for these classes? This seemed like poor planning on his part if he was trying to get you to date him. Maybe he just assumed you would have agreed to a relationship to him by then. Somehow the assumption made you irritable. Almost as irritable at having discovered Papyrus was in the same class as you.

Where was that skeleton anyway? You were sure he would have been standing with Sans but it appeared he was somewhere else down the line instead. You apprehensively held your breath.

Shoot, you should really be paying attention. Emilio was demonstrating the dance part for the women. You caught the tail end of it and moved your feet robotically along with his fluid movements. You blinked as he finished and tried out the move again as Emilio went to the male side.

This was definitely going to take some practice to make it as smooth as the instructor had made it look. You really didn’t want to look like an idiot at the moment. "Alright, time to partner up!" Emilio declared. 

You found yourself meeting Jeremy in the middle with a grin. "Hey, so there's a good chance that I'll be stepping on your toes here cause I totally zoned out." 

"You think that's bad? I'm going to be dancing with a Queen."

"Haha. Oh man. Don't worry she's nice. Just don't fuck with her kid." 

"Got it. Got it."

Tweet! "Switch!!"

You looked over at the instructor. "Seriously? We didn't even get 2 minutes."

"This is an introductory session!" Emilio ordered. "Plus, not everyone’s clicking." He added. You and Jeremy exchanged curious looks. That was an odd statement. What did he not like? What was he looking for? Why were you trying to find reason in this man’s thinking? You waved good bye to Jeremy.

You soon found yourself facing a very excited Frisk. "Hey dude," you greeted. 

"Hello!!" 

"You ready to dance?"

"Sure thing!"

You took his hands gently and he did his best to lead. Despite you weighing nearly twice as much, Frisk was able to maneuver you fairly well. You arched a brow in surprise and he giggled. "Mettaton taught me how to dance with style."

"Haha, really? Well why are you here if you're already a master?" Frisk giggled and winked. You looked to your side and chuckled. 

You didn't realize how tall Toriel actually was until you saw her dancing with Sans. Damn. You really didn’t want to fuck with her. She was laughing good naturedly as she swayed back and forth. Hell, even Sans actually appeared slightly sheepish as he smiled. He actually appeared rather nervous and flushed as he told what you knew to be an awful joke and visibly relaxed when Toriel howled in laughter. Your eyes widened in realization. 

Oh my god. Did Sans like the Queen? A lot of things began to click into place.

Tweet! “Switch!!”

“Already?” You found yourself asking. Frisk stepped back and bowed and you curtsied. You would have to think about that info later. Sans left Toriel with a smile and sauntered over to you. 

“hey kid, long time no see,” he greeted with a grin. 

You couldn't help but chuckle yourself. “I know, right? Hey I saw you getting cozy with the Queen,” you teased.

You could have sworn the skeleton blushed but it quickly vanished. “tori? heh. she's pretty great. we were exchanging some good dancing jokes. wanna hear them?”

You had a feeling you were going to be hearing them anyway. “Lay em on me.”

“heh. what type of music do ghosts dance to?”

“I don’t know.”

“soul music.”

“Heh, that's pretty terrible.”

“I got a lot more. so better keep on your toes.”

The sound of giggling caught your attention amongst all the commotion and chatter of your fellow classmates and you peeked over for a second only to a double take. Another couple was practicing nearby but there something very distinct about them. 

It was Papyrus. And another woman. He was smiling and talking and she was giggling at something he said. And all and all, they seemed to be having a lot of fun...Fuck him. 

“dead crowd tonight, huh?”

You blinked. “Huh. What?”

Sans chuckled. “i've been giving you my best material and you haven't even cracked a smile.” 

You ripped your attention away and refocused on Sans who was still grinning. “Ah yeah sorry, got distracted there. My mind is kinda scattered from this week. Sorry can you tell me one?”

“heh alright. wanna catch a movie Saturday?”

“...this seems like an odd set up to a joke,” You pointed out, cocking your head at him. 

“it's not...but it can be if you say no.” You cracked a smile. “kid, listen, you're as stiff as board here. and honestly, this week hasn't been too great for me either.”

Was he talking about hooking back up, you realized. Somehow the idea did not repulse you as you expected due to the circumstances. Instead, you glanced around, leaned in and whispered. “You wanna still hook up? Even after, well all this? I expected you wouldn't want anything to do with me.”

Sans nodded. “well you and pap are both at fault.” Your fault? How the fuck could it be your fault too?! That’s some bullshit. You made a motion to protest but suddenly found yourself looking into the bright blue eye. You felt his fingers on your shoulder twitch and the sensation of being fondled underneath your underwear quickly slammed you. Your breath hitched and you gripped his shoulder tightly but otherwise maintained control. 

“Fuck-fuck you. I did nothing wrong.” You gasped, trying to keep your voice level. 

“if you did nothing wrong, then why not hear him out? ya got nothing to lose."

"I-i, fuck you, I don't have to."

"alright then. whatever you say. so yes or no?”

“Yes. Yes! Alright yes!” You gasped as a digit inserted into your aroused womanhood. 

“cool. I'll pick you up around 7. does that work?”

“You’re picking up me for casual sex?” You let out a startled gasp as a second digit entered. 

“yes or no?”

“Yes. That's fine. Just stop,” you begged pitifully. Sans relaxed significantly and the fingers vanished. You let out a shaky breath.

“you missed this didn't you?” Sans teased.

“Goddammit I did,” you admitted, your face cooling down significantly. 

“trust me, you’re gonna want me to take you out to make up for what i want to do to you,” Sans growled quietly.

“What are you going to do?” You asked, your heartbeat shooting up as your mind raced with possibilities. 

**"i’m going to give you a release.** " The words came out strange and you suddenly felt you were very much out of the loop.

"What do you mean by that?" 

Tweet! “Switch!”

Sans winked at you and moved on to the next unsuspecting female, leaving you unfulfilled both physically and mentally. You looked up in surprise to meet another human. Somehow seeing another human was surprising to you. “Oh! Hi there!” You greeted. 

You had plenty of time to cool down and resume your normal nature. You found yourself talking with a couple of your dance partners. It was a healthy mix of younger and older people. You danced from everyone the same age as Frisk to a man in his early 60s. But one thing kept bothering you as you went through each partner.

Seriously, how was Papyrus getting all these women to smile and chat with him? You couldn’t help but notice that most of the women he danced with all seemed to find something funny in what he was saying. Alright maybe, maybe he was really nice. And he did listen pretty well. And he was always excited to see new faces...ugh you might as well have been describing a dog. Except dogs didn't stand up people.

You looked at the time. There were only a few minutes left for class to be over. Papyrus would be your next partner once you were done dancing with your new partner. Unless you ran out of time. You smiled to yourself. You were going to run out of time. You didn't have to dance with Papyrus. Your new male partner walked forward to shake your hand…

...only to trip on his shoelaces right in front of you, faceplanting into the ground. “Holy shit!!” You gasped, “Are you okay, dude?”

“No, ah, fuck, my nose! I think I broke my nose or something,” he groaned. 

“Stop, stop. Everyone stop.” Emilio declared. He walked over as your new partner stood up unsteadily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Let me see.”

The man let go of his nose to reveal a vibrant stream of blood leaking from his right nostril. Well, looks like Emilio was serious about that bleeding thing. Jeez. “Anyone here a medical professional?”

“I'm a paramedic,” a woman chirped up next to you, already walking over to assess the man. “What’s your name?”

“Darrel.”

“Good, you can hear me. Alright, let’s go ahead and have a seat over there. Lean back a bit, yeah, that’s it,” she instructed as she guided your potential dance partner to a chair. 

Wait a minute. Next to you? That woman was next to you...Your chest clenched and you looked over to see Papyrus standing alone. The paramedic had been his partner. Which meant…

“Alright, you two pair up,” Emilio ordered gesturing to you and Papyrus.

“Uhh...are we sure there's enough time?” You tried to stall. The instructor raised an eyebrow at you. 

“Do you have something against Monsters?” He asked. 

“No, no. Fuck uh, no. That's not what I ugh. Nevermind.” You gave up. There were only a few minutes left of class. You could just ignore whatever Papyrus said to you while you guys danced. Perhaps you could think about what you wanted to eat for dinner?

You glanced up to see Papyrus approach you and you couldn't help but notice he appeared slightly hesitant. Damn right he should be. You felt the bile in your stomach burn and you forced a strained smile. 

You instinctively flinched as you felt him place an arm around you and prepared yourself to respond with some vitriol only for it to die in your throat. He was barely holding on to you and there was space in between you both. What a disparity from last week, huh. 

“Alright, continue!” Emilio shouted and you began to mechanically shuffle through the movements, waiting for any second for Papyrus to open his mouth and say something to piss you. 

Imagine your surprise when Papyrus remained silent. After about 30 seconds of silence, you felt yourself tense. Sure he was looking at you and he seemed pleasant enough but the minimal contact and lack of dialogue put you on your guard more than it should have.

You cleared your throat and spoke. “So, uh hello, I guess.” That was the stupidest greeting you could have come up with. Papyrus nodded at your question...and said nothing? You tried again. “Having fun tonight?” He nodded again. 

Motherfucker, what the fuck was going on? You felt yourself tense even more and your mind went into overdrive. He had no problem talking with the other women but with you he's an absolute statue. Why the fuck did that even bother you? You didn't even want to talk to him at all tonight and now you felt yourself bristling at the lack of communication. 

“Nothing to say huh?” You sneered. He shrugged and that only pissed you off further. Oh was he just going to pretend that nothing happened between you guys? You opened your mouth to snap at him. 

Tweet! “Alright, we are done for the night!” Your eyes widened. You couldn't be done already? What? No, this was bullshit. Before you could say anything Papyrus quickly removed his hands, gave you a smile and a nod and walked away, leaving you standing there agape.

Jeremy approached you but you barely registered he was there until he spoke up. “Well that wasn't too bad,” he began. 

“That son of a bitch didn't say a word to me.”

Jeremy blinked. “Uh, that's a good thing, right? Didn't you not want to talk to him?”

“Fuck it, I'm going to get some answers.”

“Hey, hey be rational about this. You guys are officially over. What did you expect?” He tried to point out. 

“I'm just going to ask a question.”

“Don't do anything stupid or crazy.”

“I'm just going to ask a question.”

~~~~~

“Why the fuck are you being so quiet?!?!” You shouted.

“Okay, this behavior really makes you look insane,” Jeremy begged, standing behind you as you confronted the tall skeleton. Papyrus looked absolutely bewildered and you got a couple of odd looks from your departing classmates. Probably shouldn’t have done this in the parking lot.

He opened his mouth as if to answer you but slammed it shut decisively. Oh, that did not sit well with you. “I heard you just fine when you were dancing with the other girls, so what the hell?” You demanded. He shook his head. 

Jeremy gave up and began to scroll through his phone. “Shit, what time does the next class start? I didn't write it down.”

“7PM, next Monday,” Papyrus answered helpfully. 

“Oh thanks.”

“You're welco-”

“What the fuck was that?!?!” You demanded causing both males to jump slightly. “Your voice works just fine for him? So is it just me?!” Papyrus really looked like he wanted to say something but restrained himself. “Jeremy! Ask him why he won't talk to me!”

“Listen, I really don’t want to get involved here, I’m just going to-”

“Just do it!” 

“Why are you not talking to her?” Jeremy finally acquiesced. 

“Ah, I'm not supposed to,” Papyrus explained, his smile faltering. 

“Not supposed to? Explain!” He didn't answer. You felt your blood begin to boil. “Jeremy. Ask him to explain.”

“C'mon you're being ridiculous.” You shot him a dangerous look and he gulped. “Uh so yeah can you explain please?”

“Oh. Well, the human told me to never talk to her again. So... I'm not.”

“Oh that is some bullshit!” You swore. You stomped up to him and looked up at him as irritably as you could. “Listen! If I'm going to be stuck in a class with you for the next few weeks, I'll be damned if I'm going to watch you talk to everyone else and ignore me like I don't exist!”

Papyrus blinked in surprise and looked at Jeremy “Is she saying-?”

You waved your hands in front of Papyrus, drawing his attention back to you. “No, no, no. Don't ask him. Don't ignore what I'm saying! Answer me!”

Papyrus began to smile after your outburst and that somehow made you angrier. “Are you saying that you want us to talk again?”

Jeremy seemed to realize something and he held out his hand warningly. “Uh. Whoa, hang on.”

You put your hands to your hips. “Am I not speaking English here?! Let me be as clear as possible. Yes. I want you to talk to me!”

Everything happened so suddenly that you barely had a second to react. One second, you were staring up angrily at your ex date. The next, you found yourself swept up in a strong, crushing hug. 

Your breathing hitched as your rage subsided for a few moments at the surprise gesture and you relaxed. “Human! It is good to speak with you again!” He practically shouted in your ear. He placed you back on the ground and you began to reorient yourself slightly. “I am very happy to see you still like me!”

“Wait wait! What? Like you?!” You exclaimed. “Who said anything about liking you?! I don't like you!” You argued. 

Papyrus smiled even wider. “Well you may not like me now and I'm still very sorry about that, but I will find a way for you to feel comfortable enough to express your feelings for me!”

“Ha! As if!” You laughed as you walked to your car. 

“Of course!” Papyrus nearly skipped after you, “it's only natural you would still be upset because you have such strong passionate feelings for me!”

“Fuck off, Papyrus!” You yelled as you climbed into your car. You turned on the engine and looked up to see Papyrus standing in front of your car with a humongous smile with his gloves on your hood. “Papyrus, get off my car!” You yelled. 

“Do not worry! I also still carry more than platonic feelings for you as well!” Papyrus assured you. You smacked your head against the steering wheel and then slammed your car into reverse.

“I don't like you!” You yelled out your window. 

“Good bye, human! I look forward to seeing you soon!” Papyrus waved excitedly after you. 

You let out a strangled angry yell as you pulled away, swearing under your breath. You got what you wanted and now he wouldn't shut up! Way to go, stupid. You were so busy fuming that you didn't even notice the absence of pain in your chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheh, look who figured out how to bold text?! ;D (We will learn next chapter why this particular phrase was used)
> 
> But on the most important note! WE ARE FINALLY BACK TO TALKING. Sorta...uh...there's a long way to go...got any advice for Papyrus on how to go about doing it now that we're on "talking terms"?
> 
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people! A list I will keep adding to as long as you keep drawing cool pics! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> 


	76. Mini Chapter: Things Can Only Go Up From Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ya'll! I hope you're all doing well. This is going to be a confusing chapter.
> 
> Basically, I had scenes that I had written for a Pap and Sans POV that happened before the dance. And I couldn't find out where to put them in without wrecking flow. But then I figured stuff out, so order of POV this chapter will go Sans, Pap, then Lori.
> 
> We have two more beautiful works of art from Zully and Dskirin! Please, click the links below so you can go to their tumblrs and show them some love!!
> 
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we) and [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> 

One Day Earlier, in another household...

Frisk sat at his desk, scratching his head at the geometry problem in front of him. “This is hard,” he mumbled. 

“your mom not giving you any slack on your homework huh?” Sans asked.

“No. But that’s okay, I guess,” Frisk mumbled with a smile.

“hmm, let me see it again. maybe i can give you a hint or two?” Sans offered. Frisk nodded gratefully and lifted the paper up to the webcam on his computer. 

Frisk saw a notification on his computer and cocked his head at it. “Hang on, Sans, it looks like someone is trying to join our web chat.”

“huh. wonder who it could be?” The child clicked on the accept request and a second screen popped up on his computer. 

“Helloooo Darlings!! It’s so good to see you all this evening!!!” Mettaton’s voice rang out loudly over Frisk’s speakers. 

“oh.”

“Hi Mettaton!” Frisk cheerfully greeted, discreetly lowering the volume of Mettaton’s window so it was no longer so piercingly loud. 

“Oh I am so happy I caught you awake! I have some exciting news!”

“huh, sounds electrifying come from you.” 

Mettaton sighed. “Ha. I felt that we had so much fun at Frisk’s birthday party that I want to sign us all up for a dancing class.”

“Really? That would be pretty fun!” 

“eh, not really my thing. i’ll pass,” Sans chuckled. 

Mettaton made a face. “Well Frisk, go ask your mother and see if she would like to go? I don’t have her number!” The small child nodded and quickly darted out of the room, leaving the two monsters to look at each other through the screen. Neither of them said anything. 

Mettaton broke the silence first. “So, how’s Pap?”

“he’s alright.”

“How’s he taking the whole Lori thing?” Mettaton asked as he pulled out another phone and began to text. 

Sans shifted. “he’s not taking any interviews about it if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“Ah, well that’s not what I-uh! Listen! I really think you and Papyrus should consider this. Really! It’s an opportunity! Monsters and humans joining together in a cultural expression of togetherness and relationship building-“

“the human’s going to be there, won’t she?”

“Nobody said that…That’s beside the point.” 

“yeah, no we’ll pass.”

“There’s nothing I can say that will change your mind?” Mettaton asked in exasperation.

“can’t think of anything.” The skeleton blinked in surprise as his phone rang. He picked it up and looked at it in surprise.

“Why don’t you go ahead and answer that?” Mettaton suggested it. 

Sans shot him a wary glance before answering. “hey tori! how’s it going? i’m good, good. uh, no, actually, you’re not bothering me. fridays evenings? nah, i don’t have plans usually. i go to grillby’s…dance lessons?” Sans shot a look at Mettaton who was filing his nails. “oh yeah, sorry. i’m still listening…hey, no, i don’t think it’s silly. didn’t you hear about the skeleton who didn’t want to dance? yeah, he had no body to dance with.”

The sound of loud laughter rang from down the hall from Frisk’s room and from Sans’ phone. Sans grinned. Mettaton rolled his servos and continued to file his nonexistant nails.

“what about the king? he’s oh…a couple of weeks, huh? wow, uh yeah, meeting the european union does sound rather difficult. letting regular monsters travel to different countries would be a nice change since not everyone’s a celebrity like that bucket of bolts.” If Mettaton had a tongue, he would have stuck it out at this point. “alright, yeah just text me the details. we’ll see you friday.”

Sans disconnected the phone and stared at a smug Mettaton. “How convenient!” The robot exclaimed, “So both you and Pap will be making an appearance, yes?” 

The skeleton nodded. “heh, looks like it. frisk called pap after telling tori.”

Mettaton’s monitor glinted devilishly. “Perfect! Well, I have lots of things to do, so I’m afraid I must leave you, darling. Although the camera loves me, I really do have to get things ready for a romantic union.”

Sans grinned sardonically. “uh yeah, good luck with that.”

Mettaton’s fingers had hovered over the end call button but stopped mid-descent. “Sans, Sans, Sans! Have you so little faith in true love?” Sans moved his mouse over to disconnect the call. “If nothing else, think of this as on opportunity for them to reconnect.”

“bye.”

Mettaton waved his hands. “Perhaps, all she needs is an outlet. I’m sure you of all Monsters are aware of that.” Sans froze. Mettaton coyly continued, “I heard people become more receptive to advice after…physical activity. I’m sure you could find a way to loosen her up.”

“….”

“Atta boy. Have fun Friday. Give my love to Pappy.”

~~~~~  


Papyrus paused as he walked by Sans’ room on Thursday evening. He could hear his brother talking and then to his pleasant surprise, heard Frisk respond. This must be one of their webcam sessions where Sans had offered to help tutor Frisk with some of his science homework on Thursdays. Papyrus had initially volunteered to assist but found himself unable to explain that much to the child. He figured the material must have been too basic for him and settled on just offering to help with any literature or stories that Frisk needed to read. 

He walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Sans did not go to Grillby’s on the days he webcammed so Papyrus eagerly pulled out extra ingredients to cook enough for both of them. And despite him calling Undyne to ask if he could come back, his friend had told him to stay home so he had used the extra time to stop by the grocery store and pick a few things up. Including the weird white vegetable you had used instead of glitter. 

He picked up the vegetable and observed it curiously. It was supposed to go in the sauce if he remembered correctly so he tossed the entire plant into the pan and stirred vigorously. He had almost finished cooking and was about to mix the sauce with the drained pasta when his cell rang. He answered it. “Hello?”

“Hi Papyrus! It’s Frisk!” 

“Frisk!” Papyrus exclaimed. “How are you?”

“I’m good! How are you?” 

“I’m fantastic! Aren’t you webcamming with Sans right now?” 

“Oh, I was, but I have to ask you something! Do you and Sans want to do dance lessons with us?” 

Papyrus clicked his teeth together. “Dance lessons?”

“Yeah! Mettaton wants to sign us up for dance lessons since everyone seemed to have so much fun last Friday.” There was a sharp tug at his chest at the boy’s words but Papyrus kept his voice level. 

“That is very generous of him!” He thanked, “I will have to check my schedule and get back to you.”

“Oh! Uh, classes, start tomorrow night actually. I think 7?

Papyrus tapped his fingers thoughtfully on the counter. “Well, that does sound interesting, but I don’t know if Sans would want to do something so energetic.”

“Oh! He’ll do it! My mom is going, so he’ll go too.” 

“Ah yes, the queen and Sans are good friends.” 

“You could say that,” Frisk giggled. “Hang on, I got a message.” There was silence on the end and then an excited squeak as Papyrus continued.

“As much as I would love to join you in learning dance, I’m afraid that I must dedicate the time to training as I am very behind in my battle formation,” Papyrus explained as he began to pour the spaghetti into the sauce.

“Lori’s going to be there.” 

He nearly dropped the pot. He managed to catch himself before he could spill the spaghetti. He placed the pot on the counter and grabbed the phone with both hands. “Nyeh! Are you sure?” 

“Yes! Mettaton checked. She’s in the class too!”

Papyrus grinned widely but his smile faltered. “Nyeh, I’m not sure she would want to see me there.” 

“Of course she wants to see you!” Frisk argued, “She just doesn’t want to talk to you, right?” 

“Yes,” he admitted.

“So it’s a dance class, not a talking class!”

Papyrus smiled once more! “Nyeh heh heh, of course! Frisk, you are very clever! Very well, my brother and I will be there!”

“Awesome! I’ll tell my mom. See you there, Papyrus!”

“Good bye, human!” Papyrus hung up the phone and dashed up the stairs. “SANS! You better come eat your dinner! You’re going to need the energy for dancing!" He smiled to himself. There was no doubt in his mind that things could only go up from here.

~~~~~

“Ban him.”

Tina looked up at you in surprise. “Really?”

You stood in front of your office manager, exhausted but otherwise coherent enough to work on a Saturday. You continued your case. “The bastard is in my dance class. I don't need to see him more than I need to.”

“You're in a dance class?”

You threw up your hands. “Yes? I guess, not important! Just, come in ban him, please.”

Tina nodded with a sigh. “Fine. I'll make sure to ban the monster who doesn't haven't any pets and therefore would have no reason to come here.”

“Yes, thank you, was that so hard?”

She scoffed. “You're a fucking nut.”

“That doesn't seem like appropriate workplace language.”

“You're a fine one to talk. So when does class meet again?”

“Monday night. 7pm.”

“Good to know. Let me know if you change your mind.”

You snorted and did not answer. Yeah that wasn't going to happen. As you left the office, you felt your phone vibrate and you picked it up. It was a number you didn't recognize. “Hello?” You answered hesitantly.

“Hello Darling!!!!”

“No, no, no!” You realized, recognizing Mettaton's voice. “No dating advice!!”

“Oh be reasonable, you need my help more than ever now.” He argued. 

“No way!” You lowered your voice as you realized you were shouting. “Listen, I have absolutely no desire to date him!” 

“That's what you say, but didn’t you enroll in a class with him?”

Your eyes widened. “How did you - wait wait, wait! Hang on. I didn't enroll because of him! Jeremy signed me up. I had no idea who was in the class!” 

“Don't fight it dear, it's far less painful to accept your true feelings.”

“I'm hanging up.”

“I wouldn't if I were you,” Mettaton teased. “You want me on your side.”

“On my side? Who cares what side you're on? If you had been on my side, I would have heard from you the day after all this shit went down!”

“Dramatic tension, dear.”

“I don't need your help. In fact, you could not be any less helpful than you are now.”

“Really?”

There was an odd inflection in his modulated voice. You didn’t dwell on it. “Yes really.”

Mettaton giggled. Actually, fucking giggled. “You've given me such an idea.” You cocked your head at the phone suspiciously. “It's been so long since I've had a challenge.”

You paused. “A challenge?” You didn't like the sound of that. 

“Yes. I wonder if you would be able to keep Papyrus’ affections if there was another candidate for them.”

Your jaw dropped. “Wait, wait! Are you suggesting what I think you're saying?!”

“You sound worried, dear. Are you sure you don’t want my help?” The voice was laced with smugness. 

You bit your lip. “Worried, no. Not at all. In fact I actually don't care at all.”

“Wonderful. Really, I think Pap and I would make a much cuter couple.”

You didn't know what to say. “...screw you,” you finally settled on and hung up the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people! A list I will keep adding to as long as you keep drawing cool pics! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> 


	77. Tackling Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey, hey! :D Welcome back. 
> 
> Holy shit, we have new fanart. All from Silverpuppy9! Click any of the links to be taken straight to her tumblr and give her some loving!
> 
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)
> 
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip
> 
> [ Jack the Christmas Kitten (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten
> 
> So, you guys are still here, so you may all remember this: ***  
> If you don't, here it is *** = NSFW section. If you want to skip, when you reach that part, just Ctrl+F for those asterisks and it will take you straight pass the NSFW section where there will be a basic sum up of what happened in the end notes. 
> 
> Yayyyy! Let's continue.

After Mettaton's phone call, you couldn't help but find yourself on edge and distrustful of calculators for the rest of the day. It wasn't until you got home and remembered that Sans was supposed to pick you up in about an hour that you let your mind drift somewhere else. Mainly to what you were going to wear for this date/not date. 

Should you just dress up? Be casual? Wear sweatpants and a hoody? Your lips couldn’t help but curl upwards in a devious smile and you reached in to the closet to grab your favorite hoody. It wasn’t there. You checked your laundry hamper. Not there either. You fumed silently and settled for another hoody which wasn’t nearly as comfortable and slipped it over your t shirt. You’d have to look later. You decided against basketball shorts and put on some loose yoga pants. You applied some foundation and was just starting to do some eyeliner when you heard a knock on your door. 

“That’s probably him,” You theorized out loud to yourself. You walked to the door and opened it up. Sans was on the other side which was a nice change since lately he seemed to materialize inside your apartment without even trying the front door. “Hi Sans.”

“hi hun. like the outfit. looks comfortable”

“Yeah. It is.” A naughty flirt snuck into your mind and you leaned forward somewhat seductively. “Of course, even if they weren’t comfortable, it wouldn’t really matter. I don’t think I’ll be wearing them for long, don’t you?” 

Your comment caught Sans slightly off guard and a large smile broke onto his face. “pretty eager i see,” he chuckled. “alright, well the movie starts in a few so we better get moving.” He held out a skeletal hand and you took it. When nothing happened, you looked at him curiously. “what?” 

“Uh, aren’t we going to do the magic teleporting thing?” 

“oh yeah. heh. guess that would be a good idea.”

Any further questions were cut off as the world shifted once more. You carefully opened your eyes as the world stopped moving and realized you were both standing outside the movie theater. You followed him to the ticket stand. “What did you want to see?” You asked.

“hmm, whatever you want.” You pointed to some type of family friendly comedy. Sans eyed you curiously. “really?”

“What? I heard it was good.”

“heh, fair enough. two, please.” He gave you a once over with a grin. “you think you’ll make it through the movie without wanting to jump my bones?” 

You snickered as the ticket stand person handed you your stubs. “I’m pretty sure I’ll survive. I made it already a week without having doing it so far.” 

You both entered the theater and purchased a bucket of popcorn before finding which room had the movie. You settled in towards the back of the theater and looked suspiciously at Sans as he placed the bucket of popcorn on his lap. “If you cut a hole in that bucket so I’ll grab your dick, that’s really dumb.”

“you can say that again. waste of good popcorn.” You were mildly surprised at the lack of sexual banter from his end. He shifted in his seat. “so, since we got some alone time, i’d like to talk to you about something.”

You had an idea of what it could be. You rolled your eyes. “If it has anything to do with your brother, I don’t want to hear it.” 

Sans shrugged. “come on, i just think you should know that this is not like him. at least not intentionally. he still cares about ya.”

You grumbled. “I don’t want to think about it, okay? Even if he still really does care about me, well, I just ugh, just I don’t want to deal with him.” 

“alright, i can see i can’t get you to change your mind.” Your phone vibrated and you picked it up curiously. You had a text message…from Papyrus. You opened it cautiously. 

“Hello human! Sorry to bother you, but can you tell me what’s a dick?” 

You stared at the message in disbelief. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” 

Sans caught your expression and glanced over your shoulder. “someone sending you dirty texts?” He asked as he sucked up some soda. 

“Your brother just asked me what a dick was.” Sans choked on the beverage. “I don’t even know how to respond to this.” 

“then don’t. you said yourself, you don’t want to deal with him.” You fiddled with your phone anxiously.

“Excuse me, I’m terribly sorry, but are these seats taken?” Both you and Sans jumped in your seats at the voice. Only a few rows in front of you was Toriel and Frisk. Sans’ sockets went dark for a second. He looked pretty nervous. Memories of his interactions with her from dance class briefly flickered over your mind.

Huh. Call it a hunch but you were pretty sure that this skeleton carried something for the large monster sitting some distance in front of you. She was rather sweet, you admitted. Toriel raptly listened to Frisk as he laughed and talked about something enthusiastically. You spared another glance at Sans who appeared to shrink into his seat. Tense was an understatement. It did not seem like they had seen you both yet. 

The lights finally flicked off and the 30 minutes of advertisements started. You glanced at your phone. You still hadn’t responded. Sans spotted the bright light of your screen and grunted. “kid, put away the phone.”

“I will, I will,” you promised as you turned down the brightness instead. What should you write back? Like, a dick is what you are? No, that was dumb. Your fingers hovered over the barely lit keyboard. 

“you’re really pushing it.” The lights of his eyes had appeared again. He still looked stressed.

“Don’t text me,” you hurriedly typed out and sent under the scrutiny of Sans’ sockets.

“what did i just tell you?” Sans hissed, shooting a quick look out toward the goat Monster.

“I didn’t do anything.” That was kind of a lame text. You should have really followed it up with an insult. Like uh, tell him to go suck a dick himself! Ha! That would-uh not work. He would not understand because he doesn’t understand what a dick is. 

“don’t escalate the situation. if you’re really not interested, then put that phone away before it attracts attention,” Sans scolded you. 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you hissed back, “who cares if Toriel sees us?”

“she better not-uh not that it matters.”

“Why? It’s super obvious you have something for her,” you rolled your eyes, still holding your phone. 

The lights went out in Sans’ sockets. “what did you say?” 

“If you don’t like her like that, then who cares if she sees you. And if she sees us, you can go talk to her. How immature are you?”

“says the human trying to still text my bro after she told him not to talk to her.”

That did it. Fuck him. How dare he try to be logical with you right now? You pulled out your phone. “I’m going to text her.” 

“who?” You didn’t know if you even had her number, but you gestured to Toriel anyway to fuck with him. You were successful. Sans tensed significantly. “if you don’t put that away right now, you’re going to regret it.” 

“Make me.” You opened your messaging app.

You felt a hand on your neck and you gasped, a pang of heat jolting through you at the restraint. “warned ya.” And with that, the world spun in a multitude of colors. 

You landed with a roughness you didn’t mind on a bed that wasn’t yours. You confirmed it as your hands landed out to the side and felt a mattress without sheets. Your mattress had sheets. Correction. This mattress had sheets. They were just balled up next to you. Well that was rather useless now, wasn’t it?

Oh right. That probably wasn’t your biggest issue now was it? You looked up startled to see Sans’ eyes glaring at you from where he stood. Your breathing was heavy and heated as you shifted uncomfortably due to the surprisingly quick wetness between your thighs. “Sans,” You began.

“strip.”

***

You blinked in surprise. “What?”

“you heard me. you didn’t listen. now you’re going to have to strip,” Sans echoed. You found yourself nodding slowly and began to pull off your shirt and bra. You couldn’t help but feel slightly silly as you took off your pants and kicked off your underwear. You sat with your legs off the side of the bed and waited patiently. He did nothing. 

“Uh, tada!” You tried throwing your arms in the air. He smirked and you couldn’t help but look down, slightly abashed. You were starting to feel self conscious. You made a move to bring your arms down but find yourself unable to. You looked up toward your hands in confusion and your eyes widened. 

Their descent had been halted with azure tentacles that suspended your arms firmly in the air. You followed their source to see them originating from behind Sans but from what exactly was impossible to determine. You let out a cry of alarm as your feet were pulled apart from each other by another pair of tentacles, exposing your wet pussy to the air. “Ah!” You gasped, “Don’t look!”

Sans started to laugh. “bad girls don’t get to make orders around here.” You let out another squeal as the tentacles around your ankles rose slightly. You were suspended just off the bed enough at waist level with Sans. He placed his fingers against your lips and pushed them in. Instinctively, your tongue reached out to fight them off but instead found itself entwined between the skeletal digits. “get them nice and wet,” he growled as he pinched your tongue. 

The loss of control was both frustrating and exhilarating. You scowled at him as you followed his command. He finally pulled them out with a slick pop and your tongue hung out uselessly for a second before you drew it back in. “Why?” You asked as he looked at his phalanges disinterestedly. 

His sockets glinted mischievously. He took his fingers and lowered them. Before you could repeat the question, you felt your vaginal lips pulled apart. You barely had time to reflect on them as something rough and bony immediately pushed into your womanhood. The digit sunk all the way until you could feel Sans’ knuckle at your entrance and you gasped out a choked moan. You thought it could not feel any more surreal until his phalanges began to twist and stroke at your inner walls.

You squirmed and struggled against your fantastical binds. “Goddammit, Sans,” you panted, “fuck me.”

“working on it,” he joked, his voice heavy with arousal. 

“Hello?” You both came to a dead stop. That voice. You knew that voice.

“Papyrus?” You whispered to Sans.

“shit,” Sans swore quietly, “he said he wasn’t going to be back for a few hours.”

You both remained silent. You secretly hoped that Papyrus would go away. The last thing you needed to have was the younger skeleton walk in with you being finger fucked by his brother. You heard the door shut and heavy footsteps climbed the stairs. Shit. No such luck. 

Something thumbed your clitoris and it took all your willpower not to buck and cry out. You shot a panicked look at Sans who appeared amused at your reaction. “think you can keep quiet?” 

You shook your head. Honesty was the best policy here. Sans hummed and twisted the fingers not currently inserted into your sex. Something vibrant and blue slapped itself over your mouth snugly and your loins fucking ached with even more arousal. You threw your head back, making sure to breath through your nose as he scissored his fingers. You were gagged and bound. This was amazing! 

You heard the door to Papyrus’ room shut and you vaguely realized that the skeleton was in his bedroom, which was right next to Sans’. Sans gritted his teeth, debating whether to continue. You could spot his arousal glimmer through his shorts and desperately needed to feel more full than you already were. You thrust your hips into his fingers and his eye flickered that needy azure you had seen prior. 

“want something a bit bigger?” he groaned quietly. You nodded. He removed his fingers and your whine of disappointment was muffled by the blue magic. Your whine turned into a moan as something thicker and more flexible snaked it’s way in. Sans had gone down on you. The tip of his tongue flicked your G spot and you continued to buck into him. His pants were down and his hand wrapped tightly around his shaft, quickly pumping his magical organ. 

Tension you did not realize had pent up was sloughing off with each thrust of his tongue. Pure pleasure practically stamped out any resentment you attempted to hang on to as you were pressed against the wall. It was hard to focus on anything to be honest when you were getting fucked senseless.

In fact, all thoughts about Papyrus’ actions and the face that he was less than ten feet away from you flew out the window as you felt Sans grunt into your womanhood, sending delicious shivers through your thighs. This carried on for far too long, your eyes threatening to roll back into your head if he did not continue the intensity. You were nearing the edge and being so close and yet not close enough was maddening. 

You shot Sans a “Stop dicking around” look and he silently chuckled, pulling out his tongue. He lowered you so your entrance lined up with his weeping dick and inserted the head in slowly. He hadn’t even started thrusting and you were already so close to the edge. You threw back, already anticipating a pleasured muffled shriek to emerge from your lips any second now. 

***

The sound of a woman crying out in ecstasy that was not you forced both of you to a dead stop. Sans’ eye flashed and instantly, the magic suspending you vanished, leading you to crash onto the mattress with a startled yelp. 

Your voice was drowned amongst Papyrus’ distressed cries from the next room. “Nyeh!! No! No! No! Agh! It’s everywhere!!” Your eyes widened. He better not be talking about what you were thinking about. “I’m going to need at least one towel. Maybe two!” Oh my God. He was. 

“pap?” Sans called out, his eye still blue, ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice. 

There was dead silence. You could hear Papyrus whispering loudly, “Shh, shh, you need to shush. Shh.”

“pap? everything okay, bro?” Sans asked, knocking on the wall. 

“Uh! Yes! Everything is fine! Nothing is wrong! Certainly have not been doing anything that you would not approve of.”

Sans sighed and motioned toward your clothes. You dressed quickly, still shocked. You knew an orgasmic shout when you heard one. And that was a woman in the throes of one. Or at least faking it. But you needed a reason to fake an orgasm and Papyrus had provided that. “listen, uh, pap, i’m going to run an errand real quick.”

“Yes, that’s probably a good idea!” 

Sans extended a hand and you grabbed it hesitantly. 

~~~~~

Sans dropped you off in front of your apartment, shuffling awkwardly. “so, uh, sounds like pap maybe found a girl.” You stared at him astounded. 

“Maybe?” You snorted. “There’s no maybe on that, Sans. We fucking heard her.” 

Sans rubbed the back of his head. “yeah, uh, yeah we did. i didn’t realize pap had met another monster?”

“Another monster? Seriously? He’s probably hooked up with one of the girls from class.”

Sans shook his head. “unlikely. i would have sensed his magic react.”

“Then what do you think happened?”

Sans scratched his head. “i dunno. i gotta admit, this is all pretty new to me. maybe pap already gave out his v card before this.”

“Well he must have been sleep walking when he did it because he acts like this whole physical intimacy thing is foreign to him as well,” you mumbled, crossing your arms. 

Sans sighed. “i never gave him the talk, i guess i better go talk with him about it.” 

You nodded sleepily. “Go knock yourself out. I’m going to take a hot bath and just sleep like a bear.” Sans quickly departed and you entered your apartment in a daze. Everything hurt. Your womanhood from lack of release, your chest, hell even your head hurt. You sat down on the couch, trying to wrap your head around it. 

Holy shit, Papyrus was no longer a virgin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** Summary = You and Sans engage in some stress releasing sex, during which, Papyrus comes home. He is unaware you guys are screwing and you guys continue until you hear a woman screaming (in a good way) from Pap's room.
> 
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people! A list I will keep adding to as long as you keep drawing cool pics! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten


	78. Newton's Third Law (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm still responding to a lot of your comments from last chapter! I will get to them all. This has been an absolutely exhausting week for me! So as thank you for your patience, there will be a Pap POV at the end of this chapter. :D
> 
> Let's see how dance class goes. 
> 
> Newton's Third Law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction

“Hey honey, it’s mom this time. How is everything going? Your dad fell asleep playing the ninja game and I’m just polishing off the bottle of wine we opened earlier. He’s such a light weight. We went to a nude beach the other day and I must admit it was certainly refreshing. I don’t think dad realized it was a nude beach. He kept looking for penguins and dolphins while nude 20 year olds walked by. Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’re still working out. How many guys are you dating? Are you using protection? Remember, just because you don’t see anything physically wrong doesn’t mean that it’s safe. I’d best join your father. We have an early day tomorrow. We’re going on a hike. Sincerely, mom.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the email from your mom as you ascended the stairs to Sunset Ballroom. Monday night had come much sooner than you wanted but it brought an email from your parents so that was a silver lining. Jeremy stood outside the door to the separate studio but dashed to you the moment he spotted you.

“Lori! You’re not going to believe this!” Jeremy exclaimed.

“We’re down a female dancer?” You asked.

Jeremy stared at you. “Uh, actually yes.”

Your eyes widened. “Really? Did she say why?” Holy shit, maybe this was the human who had slept with Papyrus…and she had to cancel due to sex related trauma?

“Yeah, the daycare she uses closes at 5 so she has to go take care of her kid.” You pouted. Well so much for that theory. You bit your lip. What if she was lying? Using children as an excuse for sex injuries? …It was possible. “Just, come here and see this!” Jeremy insisted and with a sigh you followed him in.

There was a large group of humans and monsters all clustered in the middle of the studio floor. You cocked your head in confusion as you saw flashes from cameras going constantly. “Who the fuck is that?” You asked, trying to peek through the crowd unsuccessfully.

“Hey!” You nearly jumped out of your socks as you heard your instructor yell behind you. “I don’t care how famous he is, if you’re not enrolled here, get out of my class!” He demanded. ‘

“Famous?” You echoed, a cold weight settling in your stomach. No way. There was no fucking way. As the crowd dispersed you couldn’t help but stare. The figure in front of you stood dramatically, flipping his uh her hair back with flair. Knee high purple boots and a sturdy purple breast plate stood out theatrically. A shining smile and a glittery purple heart dazzled brightly.

The figure spotted you and the smile curled even wider. “Why hello there!”

That voice!! You knew that voice. Before you could confirm the identity, the arrival of another group interrupted you. “Oh my god! It’s Mettaton!” A very familiar high pitched skeleton voice shrieked.

Mettaton dashed elegantly and you and Jeremy quickly leapt out of the way as the robot monster threw himself at Papyrus. “Oh Darling! How wonderful it is to see you again!” Mettaton practically gushed as you watched him drape himself over the tall, bewildered skeleton.

“Wowie!” Papyrus gasped. He looked down at Sans who was doing his best to hide a gag. “Sans! Mettaton remembers us!”

“unfortunately yes,” Sans mumbled, walking past the entwined monsters.

“Oh my goodness,” Toriel blushed as she and Frisk walked after Sans.

“Uh, hey, let’s get in line, okay?” Jeremy prompted.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” you grumbled. You cast one more look at the monsters and made eye contact with the gorgeous android that was Mettaton. He nestled himself even closer to Papyrus and shot you a sneaky wink. You felt yourself go completely rigid. “Son of a bit-“

“Get in line!”

~~~~~

“Alright, so yes, so you may all be aware that Mettaton has decided to grace us with his presence. And maybe, maybe with a celebrity on board, Martha might stop acting like a backwards twat and let us use the ballroom,” Emilio grunted.

“What was that last part?” Toriel asked.

“However! In my classroom, you are all the same, regardless of celebrity status,” Emilio continued, shooting a critical look at Mettaton who was taking the opportunity to pull up a leg in a display of stretching. “Because we have lost a dancer due to outside engagements, we will have to have an odd man out in order to resume lessons.”

“Oh!” Mettaton spoke up. “I could take her place!” The robot volunteered.

“Are you sure?”

“Oh yes!” Mettaton nodded eagerly, throwing a hand out, “thankfully my years of experience allow me to play any part my audience needs me to play! Plus,” he stole a glance toward you, “perhaps I could find a special prince here as a partner.”

So that was his game! You clenched your fist for a moment but then released it quickly. No, no way you were getting all worked up over this. You said so yourself you didn’t care at all what happened with Papyrus. Mettaton could have him for all you care. Mettaton was a shitty Dating Coach anyways. What type of Dating Coach tries to steal away their student’s date? Uh, not that he was stealing anyone from you. Because you didn’t want him at all. Nope. No sir.

You were only mad at the thought that you could possibly want him. Yes! That’s it! Yes! You felt a powerful surge in your chest at this method of thinking. Yes, you didn’t need him. You were fine on your own. In fact, hell you were in complete control of everything you were feeling and doing. And that included being mad. Because the thought of you having any romantic interest in that skeleton was completely-

“SWITCH!”

You blinked and realized you were staring at Jeremy. Shit! Were you supposed to be dancing right now? You totally spaced out. Jeremy was looking at you oddly. “What?” You asked.

“That was a, uh, well, heated dance you had there,” He mentioned as he walked to the next woman. What did that mean? What did you do? Shit. How bad did you fuck up? Perhaps no one else saw it.

“hey kid, that was pretty interesting.” Shit. You found yourself face to skull with Sans.

“Honest to God, Sans, I have no idea what I did,” you blurted out honestly as you assumed the position with him.

“really?”

“I totally spaced out, what did I do?” you asked.

Sans motioned you to move a bit closer to him and you obliged. “that’s pretty funny”

“It’s not funny.”

“what’s not funny is that I had to dance with mettaton.” You glanced down the line and spotted Mettaton already wiggling and dancing with a rather flustered human male. How the fuck did you miss that he was pretty close to you? He caught you both looking and blew a kiss in Sans’ direction only for the skeleton to shudder.

“Sucks to be you,” you stuck out your tongue.

“be careful when you stick that out, someone might just lick it back,” Sans purred and you retracted your tongue immediately.

“SWITCH!” Well at least it can’t get any worse.

“THAT WAS AWESOME!” Frisk practically squealed as he ran up to you.

“Shh shh, Frisk, hun, what did I do?” You attempted to shush the boy who was more than happy to assume the dance position.

“Do it again!”

“Do what again?”

“The dance you did with your friend!”

You chuckled. “I honestly have no idea what I was doing.”

“You were like beating him up without actually doing it.”

“What?”

“Uh, you were leading!”

“Leading?” Uh oh. You were not supposed to have lead. No wonder you had unnerved Jeremy slightly.

“Yeah. Like he had to do whatever you were doing…How do you not know?”

“I kinda was thinking about something else.”

Frisk cocked a curious head up to you. “Well think about it again.”

“What?”

“Whatever feeling you were feeling or thought you were thinking, do it again,” Frisk instructed.

Well, you felt angry. Could anger be the motivation for your apparently more aggressive dance style as Frisk attempted to explain? That’s really silly. That’s like suggesting that your emotions affect how you dance and that just seems really dumb.

“There you go!” Your eyes shot open to see Frisk grinning at you. He was leaning away from you…because you were exerting some force against his chest that you had not applied prior to your train of thought. You quickly relented and pulled back, allowing the child to once again lead with an “awwww man”.

“Sorry, sorry,” you try to apologize.

“SWITCH!”

“Don’t be sorry! That was cool!” Frisk reassured you before running down the line. Once again, you found yourself facing another human who watched you hesitantly.

“What?”

“Please don’t sweep my feet?” He asked. Your eyes widened. What the fuck did you do? You did your best to shake your head and practice the box step. You glanced at Emilio who was taking extensive notes as he watched you. Yeah, that wasn’t not fucking creepy at all. What the fuck did he think he was doing?

Shit! Shit! Pay attention. You quickly snapped your attention back to your dance partner who looked visibly relieved. What were you doing differently that was freaking guys out? Maybe, if you thought about it, maybe you were pushing a bit hard on their shoulder, forcing their legs back a bit quicker. Taking the initial step in a dance where you were supposed to follow. Uh, maybe that was a bit much.

You had already moved on to the next human. You know what? You were actually a pretty good dancer when you were mad, you realized as you found yourself moving quite nimbly with the motions of the feet before pressing into your new partner. If they didn’t like it, well, they should speak up. And so far, no one had. You felt rather confident and perhaps a bit smug as your partner attempted to keep up with you.

Your next partner was a 70 year old man and you let him lead. Because while you might be enjoying your little power high, you were not a fucking prick who was going to push over an old man. That’d be fucked up. But the next guy walked up to with a half smirk and you immediately returned full force. He resisted more but ultimately found himself following you. Another conquest…alright maybe that was a bit too medieval, but fuck it. You know what you meant.

A robotic giggle caught your attention and you glanced over to see Papyrus had reached Mettaton. The robot monster had posed quite, uh, well different. You could see his legs. And his legs, much to your disappointment, were majestic. Even Papyrus seemed smitten by them and he watched them with a blush as Mettaton flexed them in front of your date. Not your date. Fuck.

You attempted to ignore him but couldn’t help but sneak glances over. Mettaton allowed Papyrus to move him easily, following the guard in training’s steps perfectly. Well maybe not perfectly. The robotic host seemed to have a knack for the flair so every now and then, he would throw a hand out or bring himself even closer to Papyrus who seemed to be soaking in all of this attention like a damn fucking sponge. Well you weren’t going to roll over and play the princess role that Mettaton seemed to be fulfilling quite well, especially in those sexy stupid purple boots that were brushing against Papyrus’ leg, dammit!

Another switch, this time you attempted to relax slightly. Who cares if they touch each other? You most certainly did not. Besides you would be touching Papyrus soon and then he would see what a real diva was.

…oh god, never use that term ever again to describe yourself. That was just tacky as hell. What should you call yourself? What did men call women like this other than bitches? You saw Papyrus walking toward you and a sinister grin broke onto your face. You called them alphas. And it was time to show Papyrus who was running things around here.

“Hello! It is good to see you again so soon,” Papyrus greeted cheerfully.

“Hello Papyrus,” You responded as levelly as you could as everyone get resituated with their new partners.

“Did you know Mettaton was here?” Papyrus asked eagerly, “He’s such a great dancer.”

Oh he had no idea. “I’m sure he’s an alright dancer,” you shrugged as you allowed Papyrus to put you in the position for dancing.

“Well, let’s continue! We can go slow if you like!” Papyrus offered helpfully. Your eyes glinted as you looked up at him with a sinister grin.

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’d worry more about you,” You replied. And with that, you went to your angry place.

Papyrus actually appeared pleased when you grasped his hand much more firmly than you had in the past. The pleasant expression did not last long as you immediately thereafter forced him backwards when he attempted to step forwards. You were not going to lie, you did find some perverse joy in watching his face contort into confusion as he tried to glance down at both of your feet.

Before he had a chance to recover and match the tempo once more, you made sure to step back, tugging him roughly with you by the shoulder. You were not aiming to hurt him so you made sure not to do anything crazy like dig your nails in or something. Even though that would more likely than not lead to an injury for you and not him. But the thought of even accidentally harming him made you uneasy and you did not even attempt it.

“Nyeh, human, is everything alright?” He asked as you maintained the lead.

Your lips twisted in wry smile. “Probably. Great idea, why don’t you call me later to ask and I won’t pick up,” you responded passively aggressively.

You were almost disappointed when he seemed even more confused, “Why would you not pick – oh.” He grimaced slightly as realization dawned on him. “I see.” He did not disappoint. “That was a joke because I did not pick up the phone when you called on our third date,” he acknowledged out loud.

What? “Uh yeah, ummm, yeah you’re right,” you could only mumble in your defense. The bluntness of his accurate description of your passive aggressive comment resulted in your alpha behavior faltering and you accidentally relented in your forcefulness.

You were quick to recognize the shift in power as you felt Papyrus now exerting steady pressure against you with the intent to lead. You looked at him and he looked rather proud of himself. He seemed to be grinning even wider than usual. He was getting a kick out of this, huh! “Are you laughing at me?” You asked.

“Well, I suppose I could at the joke you made,” Papyrus shrugged honestly.

You felt your blood boil at the comment and before he had time to apply more pressure, you quickly pushed him backwards. Uh..a little too much you realized as you saw his sockets widen in surprise. You could hear something scrape on the ground and watched him in confusion as he actually tripped, falling backwards. Your confusion was short lived as you suddenly found yourself yanked down after him. Apparently he had not let go of you and you silently cursed yourself for maintaining such a strong grip on his hand.

You both fell to the ground with a loud clatter. Your fall was somewhat broken by Papyrus as you fell clumsily on top of the skeleton. You remained in your position, trying to figure out how exactly this all went so wrong and lead to you landing chest to chest with the guard in training. Your mind immediately brought forth images of the first time this happened in your shower. You tried to shake the memories out but you couldn’t help but feel yourself blush as you remembered how that and subsequent touching between you two made you feel kinda excited inside. But you were not enjoying this now!

Something jabbed you in the side and you looked up to see Emilio retracting his pointy shoes. “How bout you? You break your nose against his chest or something?”

Oh my God. You took in your surroundings and horrifically realized everyone had stopped and now stared at you both. You shot up like a cork and immediately began damage control. “No, no!” You declared.

“Good, cause class is over and my bitch n stitch starts in 45 minutes,” the instructor informed you before walking off.

“Do either of you need anything?” Toriel asked helpfully, “Like an ice pack or…?”

“A room?” Mettaton coyly suggested. It took every ounce of willpower to not strangle that beautiful android where he stood.

Papyrus cocked his head. “A room? I don’t think so. I believe we both have our own rooms, right?” He asked you but you were already booking it out the door, trying to hide how red your face had become.

~~~~~

A Pap POV:

Papyrus shifted gears as he drove back home. “so, that was different,” Sans finally spoke from the passenger seat.

“What was different?”

“really bro?” Papyrus shifted uncomfortably. “you don’t want to talk about it?”

“Nope!” Papyrus quickly shook his head.

“alright then.”

The rest of the drive threatened to be spent in awkward silence between the two brother until Sans asked, “you sure you’re okay?”

“Nyeh! Of course I am fine!” Papyrus finally exclaimed. “It was just a little tumble is all! The human most certainly did not knock me off my feet.”

“i didn’t say that.”

“Of course not. Because that would be silly! The human is strong, but I am the Great Papyrus! Nothing can topple me!”

“except the human.”

“Sans!” Papyrus glowered. Yet, Papyrus couldn’t help but reflect on these words.

~~~~~

“Oh don’t worry about me. I’d worry more about you,” You replied to Papyrus. There was an off tone to the way you said it, but Papyrus brushed it off. You were probably still overwhelmed from Mettaton making an entrance. He clasped you gently though much more firmly than he had last time where he didn’t dare touch you more than a feather. You allowed the contact. In fact, your hand seemed to clasp his own a bit more solidly and Papyrus beamed. There was progress! Perhaps you were finally starting to soften.

The music started up and Papyrus made a motion to move forward only to find himself pushed back. That didn’t seem to be more right. He glanced down to see that yes, he had stepped backwards and you had stepped forwards to start. That should be the opposite there. Before he could say anything, you were already backing away. A sharp press against his shoulder propelled him after you before he could take a conscious step forward.

“Nyeh, human?” He asked, “Is everything alright?”

“Probably. Great idea, why don’t you call me later to ask and I won’t pick up,” you responded.

Papyrus cocked his head at you. “Why would you not pick – oh.” He grimaced slightly. “I see. That was a joke because I did not pick up the phone when you called on our third date,” he acknowledged out loud.

“Uh yeah, ummm, yeah you’re right.” The bluntness of his accurate description of your comment seemed to throw off your forwardness and you relented slightly in hesitation. Papyrus made sure to keep his delight at being allowed to lead subtle and he resumed the role once more.

Except his version of subtletly wasn’t that discreet and he soon found you glaring up at his once again smiling face. “Are you laughing at me?” You asked.

“Well, I suppose I could at the joke you made,” Papyrus shrugged. The skeleton suddenly felt like he was on one of Mettaton’s game shows because that seemed to be the wrong answer. Your eyes lit up for a moment before you aggressively stole back the lead. The action caught the guard in training off guard as he was pushed backwards roughly. The switch in leadership happened too rapidly and his boot slipped on an uneven groove of the dance floor, sending Papyrus toppling backwards. He didn’t remember to let go of you until it was too late. He didn’t really get that great of a look at you, but you looked just as surprised as him as he accidentally dragged you down with him.

“Not again!” He could hear the dancing instructor yell as he tried to get his bearings straight on the floor, “Nobody better break a nose over there!”

Papyrus tried to sit up and almost head butted you instead. You had landed on top of his chest, shaking your head. Having you this close allowed him to see that you were rather confused at the turn of events, as well as letting him catch glimpse of your lips that parted as if to ask a question. Saturday night’s events played heavily in his mind and he became almost hyperaware of everywhere your body was in contact with his own. He couldn’t help but blush. You and he hadn’t really had touched at all and now it was an overload.

Perhaps you had come to the same conclusion because you suddenly jerked your attention back to him and stared at him in shock. Papyrus wasn’t entirely sure, but he could have sworn he saw your cheeks grow red. Then again, it could have been from the exertion.

The dancing instructor stopped hollering as he looked down at Papyrus and you. He paused briefly before asking, “Did anyone break a nose?”

Papyrus shook his head. “I don’t have one.”

Emilio poked you in the side. “How bout you? You break your nose against his chest or something?”

You shot up like a lighting bolt at the comment. Without you on top of him, it was fairly easy for Papyrus to return to a standing position as well. “No, no!” You vehemently denied, waving your hands.

~~~~~

“did you talk to her after that?”

“Unfortunately not. She left very quickly afterwards,” Papyrus admitted.

“too bad.”

“Why?”

“you almost did the horizontal tango there, bro.”

“The what? That doesn’t make any sense,” Papyrus grumbled as they pulled into the driveway. ”Now, I really should be getting to sleep. Undyne is finally letting me retrain tomorrow and I want to be even more rested than normal!” He declared eagerly as they walked into the living room.

Sans shifted uncomfortably as Papyrus walked toward the stairs. “uh, hey pap, i got a question for ya. and i want you to be honest with me?” The strained tone made the taller skeleton stop in his tracks.

“What is it?”

“so on saturday night,” Papyrus immediately went rigid, “as you remember, i came home a bit earlier. and i heard noises coming from your room.”

“Noises?! Nyeh heh heh! That was merely me practicing my new battle cry!” Papyrus hurriedly declared.

Sans shook his head. “well your battle cry sounds like a female orgasming.”

Papyrus stared at him blankly. “…What?”

Sans groaned. “man, pap, i really didn’t want to have this talk with you.”

Papyrus shifted nervously. “Uh…is this the talk about the hornets and the weasels?”

“what? heh, do you mean the birds and the bees?”

“Yes. That’s what I said.”

“right. uh, yeah, just….” Sans voice trailed off and he chuckled. “ah, man, i don’t even know where to begin on this.”

Papyrus brightened up suddenly. “You don’t have to!”

“i don’t?”

“Yes! You don’t have to teach me anything!”

“really?”

Papyrus nodded gratefully. “Oh yes!” Sans let out a sigh of relief.

“man, thanks pap.”

“I’ll just have Toriel over for dinner tomorrow and she’ll explain it to both of us!”

Sans’ sockets hollowed. “oh my god, no pap, no no no!” The shorter skeleton rapidly shook his head.

“She is the most qualified. She is a teacher afterall!” Papyrus insisted.

“yes, but she doesn’t teach about…that!” Sans insisted.

“How do you know? Did you ask her?”

“that’s not it.”

“Fine. Go ahead and explain the skunks and the butterflies.”

“…alright we’ll call her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy Mettaton is sexy. Universally sexy. :D
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
> 
> 
> [Dance Attack!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/159861600594/wowiee-more-must-love-animals-fan-art-for)   
>    
>    
> 
> 
>  
> 
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
>   
>   
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people! A list I will keep adding to as long as you keep drawing cool pics! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten


	79. Dip n Slip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying safe! We're having some flooding at the moment with the tropic storm going through the US. Stay warm and dry!! 
> 
> On a less spooky note, Silverpuppy9 has drawn more fanart. And it's from last chapter!  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> Go give em some loving! :D
> 
> That being said, enjoy this longer chapter.

“Can I swing by? I’m in the neighborhood.” You glanced at the message curiously. You had written back in the affirmative maybe, what, 15-20 minutes ago and Jeremy was still not here. You shrugged and continued to slouch on your couch, scrolling through pictures of funny cats wearing top hats. 

A knock on the door forced you upright and you opened it with a yawn. Jeremy stood there, holding a pizza box. You raised an eyebrow. “If you come in here saying you’re Tommy Salami and you’ve got a large pepperoni to deliver, I’m going to fucking lose it,” you chuckled. 

“Only half of that statement is true.” You snickered and let him in. You were somewhat surprised as he set the pizza down and began to rifle through your kitchen cabinet.

“What you looking for?” 

“Plates.”

“Third cabinet on the right…you know I had defrosted chicken to cook.”

Jeremy shot you a sheepish grin. “Well, uh, I thought that pizza would be a good substitute.”

You sighed. “The chicken will probably still be good tomorrow night but still, dude, ask.” You took a plate and a slice of pizza and watched as Jeremy did likewise. “So did you just stop by to bring me some pizza? Not that I’m complaining.” 

Jeremy smiled with those pearly teeth and reached into his jacket. “Nope! I also wanted to play this.” He pulled out a green flash drive. “Can I borrow your laptop?” 

You nodded before pausing. Crap. Had you visited any pornographic sites? You probably should make sure you didn’t have of them up. “Wait, let me make sure there’s no porn up,” you mumbled before migrating back to your laptop.

“Heh, that’s why I like you. You’ve got a good sense of humor,” Jeremy began to laugh but the laugh died down in his throat as you spotted one and closed it with a click. “Oh, you were serious?”

You grinned far more manically than you intended. “What can I say? I’m a sick, twisted fuck.”

“…What type of porn were you watching?” 

“BDSM,” you admitted. 

“I should really not ask questions I didn’t actually want the answer to.”

“No, no you shouldn’t.” You handed him the laptop and he plugged in the drive after a moment of hesitation. “So what’s on the flash drive?” You didn’t figure him for the type to hack your laptop or steal your data, but even so, you were still curious. 

“So, like, you’re watching chicks getting tied up and screaming ‘No’ ‘Stop’?” You shifted uncomfortably. 

“Not exactly. It’s consensual.”

“Right…” He winked at you. You didn’t wink back. He laughed nervously, “Oh, yeah, uh, of course. Wait! Stand there!” He clicked something decisively and darted over to you. He clasped your waist and took your hand.

“Are we going to dance?”

“Yes! I learned something new I want to try. I found out how to dip.” 

You bit your lip. You hadn’t been dipped uh, ever. You weren’t the lightest and you had a legitimate fear of being dropped and smacking your head. You had already been rendered unconscious once this month and that was already more than your quota of none. “And you’ve practiced it?” 

“Well, no, but that’s why I’m here.” You tensed, “Aw c’mon, don’t you trust me?”

“Yeah, just uh, don’t drop me?” 

Jeremy nodded eagerly as the music began. Your ears perked up. “Is this a tango?” You asked. 

“Yup.” He pushed into you and you nearly stumbled backwards. 

“Ah, fuck, hold on. I wasn’t ready.” 

You steadied yourself and did your best to allow Jeremy to lead. He was rather uh, well, clumsy with that. He would pause, causing you to falter before pushing forward suddenly, more than once stepping on your toes. “Jeremy, I think you need to practice more. Or continue classes.” 

“No, no, I got this, here’s the part!” The music swelled and dropped dramatically and with that Jeremy attempted to dip you. Attempted. 

“Ah! Fuck! No, Jeremy no! Pull up! Pull up!” You shrieked with laughter as you tried to balance at your unsteady angle. Jeremy ignored and pushed you further. The angle was too much and you slipped out of his grip. “Ow! Fuck!” You cried as your back landed roughly on your sneakers on the floor. Immediate pain shot up your spine as you tried to sit up. “Fuck! Fuck!”

Jeremy’s stared down at you with a half smile. “Shit, I guess you were right.” 

You shot him daggers. Your fury outpaced your excruciating pain. But just barely. “Jeremy, what the fuck, no means no? Dammit!” You demanded.

He laughed awkwardly. “Uh, yeah, you’re right. Sorry about that.” Fucking prick. 

“My back fucking hurts!” You growled as he helped you to your feet. 

“I take it you don’t want to try ag-“

“Hell no! Why the fuck would you even suggest that?”

“Uh, yeah, right. That’s reasonable. Why don’t I just, uh, leave?” 

“Yeah, but leave the pizza! I can’t cook, much less walk to the kitchen now,” you grumbled irritably, already opening the front door to throw your date out. 

“I’m super sorry about this,” he finally blurted out. 

You sighed. “It’s fine, fine. Just I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” 

He nodded glumly and walked out your door. You shut it after him with a groan, a hand immediately reaching to feel the damage. Nothing felt broken or out of place but damn, did it hurt. You very slowly waddled back to the couch and retrieved the laptop. Your hand brushed the sides and you realized he had left his flash drive. “Shit. Uh.” You debated on calling him but gave up and laid down, wincing as you did. You’d just give it to him tomorrow. You glanced curiously over at the window that was open. There were a couple of files on there. You debated on opening one but decided against, instead yanking out the flash drive without properly ejecting it. Heh, that’ll show him. 

There’s no revenge, like petty revenge. 

~~~~~

You sat in your car, taking deep calming breaths. You had to show up for dance class. You had to. You had to give Jeremy his flash drive for one. And, uh, you didn’t want to appear weak and useless. You were already in a bad mood from how everything went down at work. 

~~~~~

“AGH FUCK!” You growled as you lifted the other half of an anesthetized Labrador onto the surgical table. 

“For Christ sakes, you’re going to wake up the patient.” 

“Not with the drugs he’s had,” Another tech quipped.

Shortly thereafter, Tina approached you. “Do you want to help the receptionists for a bit so you can give your back a break?”

“What, no. Fuck off.”

“Let me rephrase that. Go help the receptionists for a bit, now.”

You nodded, understanding the threat. “Right, okay.” You walked up to Pam and Cheri trying not to let on how much excruciating pain you were in. “Hey, I’m here to help, you guys need anything?” 

Pam scratched her chin. “Well, our next appointment is here early, but you could go ahead and load them into a room.” You picked up the chart and glossed over it. A 13 year old golden retriever named Chewy. Lack of energy.

“For Chewy?” You called out, looking out into the waiting room. An elderly couple had risen to their feet but did not follow you. You made your way over and saw that they were waiting for their dog to stand up as well. It was definitely an older dog. You could clearly see the white and gray fur around his muzzle and the rest of his coat. “Hi there, is that Chewy?” You asked gently. 

Chewy wagged his tail at the sound of his name as his owners laughed and clambered to his feet eagerly. His nose immediately buried itself in your outstretched hand. You couldn’t help but giggle at the greeting. “Alright, let’s get you guys in a room so I can ask you some questions.”

~~~~~

“I realized it Monday that Chewy was slower than normal.”

You paused as you typed. “That’s pretty fast,” you admitted. 

“Harold always knew when something was off with Chewy.” You cast a glance at the old retriever. He had lain down, flopped over his owner’s feet. He was fast asleep. Snoring. You fought the urge to laugh. Laughing made your back tighten and then it fucking hurt. 

“I knew when he brought the ball back.”

“Did you say when he brought the ball back?”

The husband nodded. “Normally I throw the ball and then we both go looking for it. Neither of our vision is that good these days,” the man explained with a smile. He gave a gentle pat to his furred companion who snorted in his sleep, “But this time, before I could get a few steps, he just brought the ball back to me and laid down.”

“I see. Is he still eating and drinking alright?” 

“Oh yeah, eats like a horse. Shits like one too.” You couldn’t help it and busted out laughing, your back immediately punishing you for this act of revelry with an angry twinge. 

“Hehe, well that’s good. Was going to ask about potty habits but you beat me to it.” You finished typing up their info. This would be the part of the exam where you would do the beginnings of a physical exam, but with Chewy currently sleeping like a log, you decided against it. Let sleeping dogs lie, amiright? Instead, you’d make the doctor do it. 

You closed the chart and left to track down TJ. “Hey, Dr. Johnson, I just loaded your next appointment. Got a senior golden retriever. Lack of energy lately. Otherwise, BAR, eating and drinking okay. Haven’t gotten any vitals from it because he’s sleeping.”

“Alright, I’m just finishing writing up this chart. I’ll be there soon.” 

“Cool, cool.” You turned to go.

“Bet it’s cancer.”

You stopped. “What?”

TJ didn’t even look up from his computer. “Old golden retriever suddenly losing energy? 9 times out of 10, it’s cancer.”

Four years ago when you were new, if you had heard him say this, you would have been horrified. You would have protested and criticized how nonchalant he appeared about it.

Instead, you just shrugged. “Probably.” It would still suck though…

~~~~~

A knock jostled you from your flashback at you looked out the window. Jeremy waved enthusiastically at you. With a groan, you exited the vehicle. “Hey Jer.”

“Hey…your back feeling all better?”

“No. I’m seriously considering sitting this lesson out.”

Jeremy pouted. “Aw, man, really? Well at least dance with me before you do? I’ll buy you a cane.”

“Funny, real funny. Oh wait, hey. I’ve got this for you.” You fished out the flash drive and handed it to Jeremy. He looked incredibly startled. 

“How-how did you get this?” 

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You left it at my apartment, remember?”

“Did you open it?” 

“Yup. I found all the pictures where you were dressed up like the prettiest princess of them all.” His face relaxed considerably. 

“Ah, oh man. You scared me for half a second.” He nervously laughed and you hesitated. That was an odd response. Then again, you would probably react similarly if you thought someone had gone through your personal belongings without permission. Especially if he found that fanfic you wrote about you and Mr. Spock getting married and fighting a zombie horde…not that this story existed at all. Not at all. Never. 

You slowly followed Jeremy, wincing as every now and then you took a step a certain way to send a shot of pain. He spotted your inquisitive look as he stashed the flash. “Uh, sorry. My mom has a bunch of financial info on this. You know, deals with other companies. She’d totally ground me if she found out I borrowed it without permission.” 

“I don’t know what’s sadder. The fact you don’t have your own flash drive or the fact that your mom can still ground you at 26.”

Jeremy laughed awkwardly. “Uh yeah…both are pretty sad now that you mention it,” he admitted as he held the door open to the studio for you. You hesitated before you walked inside. You must have been one of the last ones to class today, as everyone else was already inside. The door opening caught the attention of a few of the students, including the skeleton brothers. Sans nodded in your direction and Papyrus shot you a friendly smile. Shit. Well, you were already here, you just had to step inside and sit in one of the chairs to the side. You got this. You got this. 

You determinedly stepped forward and gasped sharply as your back twanged painfully. You stumbled forward and if it hadn’t been for Jeremy quickly grabbing your hoodie and yanking you back to your feet, you for sure thought you were going to fall on your face. You spotted the concerned looks your actions caused and quickly tried not to make eye contact with anyone else. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled to Jeremy. 

“Yeah, sure, sure. Be careful, okay.”

“Everyone get in line!” 

Damn.

~~~~~

“Human, perhaps, you would prefer to sit out this time?” 

Papyrus’ voice caught you off guard and you looked at him in confusion. “Huh?” 

Pain had numbed you to most outside stimuli, which apparently included your hearing. Only thing it hadn’t numbed you to was, well, pain. Because of this, you had been kept movement to a minimum, leading to more than one stiff performance. Apparently this was another one.

“You appear hurt?” Papyrus suggested, peering down at you.

You didn’t meet his inquiring sockets. “No. I’m fine. Just tired,” you lied.

“Tired?”

You shot him a stern look. “Yes, tired. I’m tired.”

Papyrus studied your face one more time before shrugging. “I see. Very well. Perhaps we could take a break.”

“I said I’m fine,” You tried to argue.

“Well if you truly insist,” Papyrus sighed dramatically, “I could use a 30 second pause to formulate a new dance battle strategy. However, I can understand your concern about allowing me a chance to become even formidable than I already am.” 

Your eyes narrowed. Was he suggesting you were a a chicken? That you were scared of him and his dancing? That you cared about what he did and it made you nervous? No way in hell. “I’m not concerned. Go ahead and let’s take a break,” You insisted, stopping midstep. 

“How incredibly thoughtful of you!” Papyrus thanked, stopping with you. Immediate relief flooded your body as you stopped trying to force your lumbar muscles to operate, instead allowing them some moments of inactivity and rest. A slight suspicion gnawed at you that you had just been tricked by the skeleton. However, he appeared to be thinking deeply so you brushed the thought aside and instead secretly enjoyed the break, however involuntary it had been. 

Had 30 seconds passed already? You bit your lip and met Papyrus’ sockets which quickly looked away. Had…had he been watching you? No, you were just overthinking things because you were painful and irritable. “Is this enough-?”

“Time! Class is over!” Emilio’s voice rang out over yours before you could finish your question. 

Papyrus sighed again. “Wow, what a shame. I guess we have run out of time. I appreciate you letting me take the extra time to think. Perhaps I can show you what new strategy I have come up with on Monday?”

“I-uh…sure. Cool. Thanks. Uh. Not thanks, I mean. Yeah,” You caught yourself, trying to be nonchalant. The skeleton nodded and left, leaving you to begin the agonizing trip back to the car. You let out a silent prayer that you had the day off tomorrow. You could wake up early and catch up on all the stuff you had procrastinated on the last two days. You'd be so efficient! 

~~~~~

You woke up to your phone ringing and you glanced at the time. Well, shit. So much for efficiency. Looks like you slept instead. Meh, you probably needed it after yesterday. You attempted to sit up only to wince as pain shot up your spine. “Dammit, Jeremy,” you mumbled irritably. Why did he have to push so hard? That man didn’t know his own strength…not that you were weak or anything, but still damn. You picked up the phone with a groan. “Hello?”

“Oh he-hey! It’s me, uh Alphys.” 

You smiled. You hadn’t spoken to the shy scientist in a while. “Hi Alphys! How are you?” 

“I’m good. Yeah. Uhmmm would you like to come over today and watch some anime…eh, if you don’t have anything else you’d rather do?”

You thought about it. You had some laundry to do but otherwise had absolutely nothing on your to do list that you really needed to do. And even that seemed like a hassle with how sore your back was. In fact, an afternoon of lounging on the couch and eating ramen sounded pretty damn good. 

“Actually, that sounds really fun. Do you have ramen over there?”

“What flavor?”

“I’ll be right over!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter didn't add much action wise, but if I were you guys, I would definitely, DEFINITELY stick around for the next chapter. ;)
> 
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people! A list I will keep adding to as long as you keep drawing cool pics! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> 


	80. Honey and Milk (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! You made it!
> 
> This chapter is clunky but hey, it's here! So that's better than nothing!
> 
> Btw, if you follow me on Tumblr, you may have seen that I've been figuring out Discord lately. I'm still fairly new but if you want to add me, my ID is smallpersiankitten#6955. 
> 
> Now, On to the story!!

You showed up in sweatpants, a tank top and flip flop sandals at the scientist’s home. You stepped out of the car and noticed it was awfully quiet. There was no training. You curiously checked the driveway and sure enough it was empty. “Huh. Weird,” You observed as you walked to the front door. You knocked on the door and could hear the scientist yell.

“Just a minute!” You waited and Alphys opened the door wearing a T shirt and bed pants. “Oh hey! You made it!”

“Yup.”

“Well come-come on in.” You followed Alphys in with a wince as you stepped wrong. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, just kinda fucked up my back yesterday.”

“Oh! That sucks.”

“Heheh, yes it does.” You glanced around the apartment. “Hey, where’s your girlfriend?”

Alphys wiped her brow as she turned on the television and motioned for you to sit next to her. “Well, she’s teaching a cooking lesson right now. To be honest, I wasn’t supposed to be here either, but ah, my buildings’ elevators are having maintenance issues…and it looks really bad to have the elevators in a technical study building not work so we got the day off.”

“Sweet.”

“Well, uh, hopefully they fix it today. Otherwise we have to take the stairs,” Alphys sweated. That sounded terrible and you nodded gravely along with her somber statement.

“So uh, what are we watching today?”

“I really was hoping you would want to watch Mew Mew Kissy Cutie,” She said hopefully. You nodded. “Re-really? Thank you, that’s very nice of you.”

You settled in to the comfy couch and tucked your feet criss cross as Alphys put in a DVD. “So let’s do this!” Alphys scurried back to the couch and climbed on it next to you. A whole episode went by before either of you spoke again and to your surprise it was Alphys.

“Oh h-hey,” she asked as the credits began to roll, “Before the next episode starts, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Are you and Papyrus uh, dating?”

You shook your head. “Nope.

“Oh, I see. Bummer.”

“Why? Did he say something?”

“Ah, no. It’s just you guys were really cute together I guess.”

You sighed and leaned your head back against your pillow. “Have you ever been stood up?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh. You would KNOW if you got stood up,” You insisted, sitting up a bit straighter. “Imagine you get asked out by someone you really care about and you think they really care about you. And it’s supposed to be the special date.”

“Special date?”

“You know, the date where they ask you to be in a relationship. So you move around all your plans, you work really hard to get out of work early, you go home and shave everywhere and get all nice and pretty just to sit at a restaurant. By yourself.”

“Uhh…”

You continued. “And you sit there and wait. And wait. And wait. And you try to call them but they ignore you. And then you finally leave and find them and see that they’re having a good time without you. How would that make you feel?”

“Like garbage,” Alphys muttered.

Your eyes started to sting so against your better judgment, you twisted your back slightly to cause a much more stinging spasm. Your eyes stopped stinging. “Bingo,” You breathed. “That shit, hurts. Being rejected. You put yourself out there, no jokes, no shields, just as you are…just to have someone you care about step on you.”

“That would hurt.”

You snickered without humor. “Yeah, well, lesson learned. Don’t date skeletons because they don’t have hearts,” you joked. You stretched experimentally and winced. “At least my back hurts more than my chest at the moment.”

“What did you say?” Alphys asked.

A loud smash and clatter erupted from behind you and you both hit the deck. “What the fuck was that?” You asked.

Alphys shook her head. “I have no idea! There’s no one home but us!”

“Shit! Do you think it’s a home invasion?!”

“Oh my god!” Alphys gasped, “I’ve heard of these! Those are the people who come into your house and do uh things to bored housewives?”

You looked at her in confusion. “What? No. Uh. Wait. What the fuck? No. These are the people who come into your home and steal your shit!” You explained.

“They don’t tie you up?”

“Uhhh, maybe. I mean if they really want our stuff and don’t want us to fight back, yes?” The thought of being bound would have been incredibly alluring to you if it didn’t involve burglary.

“We-we should go stop them!”

“What? Are you nuts?”

“Undyne is always saying I’m strong but I don’t feel very strong! But I want to prove it to her that I really can be!” Alphys declared nervously.

“Uh, fuck, alright then. Do you have any weapons?”

“I have this volume of Mew Mew Kissy Two.”

“I don’t think that will hurt them very much.”

“Well ah it hurt me. It’s not a good show.”

“Unless we’re going to force them to watch it, then we need to find something bigger.” Your eyes darted around the room until you spotted a spear and a shield. “Oh! Grab the spear!”

“What?!” Alphys bit her lip. You motioned to it and she hesitantly grabbed it while you picked up the shield. The shield was so fucking heavy and your back ached just lifting but seeing as how Alphys wavered on dropping the spear, you grinned and bore it.

The sound of something breaking on the floor drew your attention to kitchen. “I think it’s coming from your kitchen.”

Alphys nodded worriedly. “Ri-right. I guess, here goes, uh, do you wanna stay behind me?”

“I have a shield…so you should probably stand next to me,” You admitted, smiling slightly as the bravery of the small scientist. She nodded understandingly and you both begin to creep toward the kitchen until you were to the side of the kitchen entrance. “On the count of three, we’ll jump in and you throw the spear okay?”

“Okay, I got this.”

“One-“

“Three!” Alphys panicked. She stepped in and you swore as you ran after her. “Gyahh!!” She cried as she tossed the spear and you quickly slammed the shield down in front of you both.

“What the hell?!”

“Nyeh?!” The surprisingly well tossed spear sailed and landed with a thud into the wall of the kitchen between the two occupants. These were not home invaders although part of you wished they were. Rather these were two very familiar monsters.

“Alphys?!” Undyne gaped.

“Human?” Papyrus exclaimed.

“Oh fuck.”

“Undyne?!” Alphys squealed. “Oh my god! I’m so so-!”

“THAT WAS AWESOME!!!” Undyne yelled, dashing forward to sweep Alphys in a gigantic hug.

“Wh-what?”

“That was an amazing throw!!” Undyne congratulated pointing to the spear that was now embedded in the wall, “You almost got Papyrus too!”

“Oh my gosh!”

Papyrus beamed proudly and gestured to his lumbar spinal column. “Oh yes! If I had a waist, you surely would have pierced through it! Thankfully, I do not have one, but you were very close!” Papyrus celebrated.

Alphys looked like she was about to pass out from shock. You stepped forward. “How did you guys get in here? The front door was closed and locked.” You asked.

Papyrus looked uncomfortable but Undyne was quick to respond. “Through the window,” she explained, placing Alphys down.

“The window?”

“Yup!”

“Why?”

“So you wouldn’t leave!” Undyne explained.

“Undyne, eh-!” Papyrus began, jumping at the explanation.

Undyne waved him silent. “Really, if you saw us come in, you would leave. And then our cooking lesson would have to be put on hold because Alphys would have no one to watch anime with!”

You shook your head slowly. The logic was weird and confusing but Undyne seemed really sure of herself so you didn’t press any further. “Uh, okay.”

“So you nerds go back in the living room and keep watching Mew Mew! You won’t hear a peep from us!” Undyne assured, pushing both you and Alphys out the door.

“How did you know we-we were watching Mew Mew?” Alphys asked curiously.

Undyne’s grin froze for a moment before she shrugged. “Lucky guess. Now go before I make you guys learn with Pap.” You cast a suspicious look at Papyrus who did not make eye contact before you allowed Undyne to push you back out the door. “Now today! We’re going to make a pizza!!”

Good God.

~~~~~

You gone through another two episodes, doing your best to just eat your cup of noodles and ignore the intensive teaching in the kitchen. Which even Alphys had difficulty ignoring and had to raise the volume every now and then to make up for the passionate shouts of cooking. When she went to go make another batch of noodles, she told you she had attempted to have them quiet down but it had been rather useless. So here you were both again.

You couldn’t help but feel on edge knowing that Papyrus was in the other room. You may not blatantly hate him anymore but the last few days had been rather stressful and the manhandling by Jeremy had not helped so you didn’t really want to talk with him. You were already trying to think of things you could say to brush off any conversation attempts by him despite the fact that he had not engaged you in any. You just wanted to sit here and eat your noodles in peace.

Which is probably why you didn’t hear when Alphys asked you a question. You only realized something was up when you glanced at her and saw she was looking at you expectantly. “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

Alphys nodded. “Uh yeah. If you don’t mind me asking, when did your chest and back start to hurt?”

You nodded. “While my chest was hurting for a while. I almost went to the doctor thinking it was a heart attack.”

Alphys hesitated. “Would you say it might be a heartache?”

That had been an idea you considered. You tapped your chin thoughtfully. “Uh…maybe? But I doubt it. I’ve gone through ended relationships before and it never stung that badly.” You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter now. It went away about a week ago or so.”

“A week ago? Anything different happen a week ago?”

“Yeah, oh I remember! I had my first dance class! That was more exercise than I had in a while.” You concluded, “I probably pulled a muscle the night I got stood up. I’m pretty sure I fell down at some point too. I guess I just needed to stretch it a bit!” You laughed. Alphys bit her lip but said nothing. You pointed to your back and winced. “And as far as my back, we can thank my asshole date. He tried to do some type of dance thing and he dropped.”

Alphys nodded. “Oh, got it. That explains why you’ve been walking that way.”

“Shit, that obvious?”

“Uh, well, I mean, it does look like you’re uncomfortable. Maybe you should drink something?”

“Like tea?”

“Yeah, uh, you might not be able to get to the stove. I’ve got a water heater in one of the cupboards in there, you can plug in.”

Tea sounded really good actually. You got up carefully but still trembled slightly as a nerve pinched. You walked toward the sounds of destruction and carefully crept in. Just in case. Considering the last time you saw Papyrus cook, he set a pot of water on fire, you were not leaving anything to chance.

Thankfully, nothing seemed to be on fire. Yet. Sticky white dough absolutely coated the sink and the counter. Despite the abundance of doughey residue, Undyne and Papyrus had somehow produced a large ball of dough separate from the rest of the kitchen. Like volleyball sized, you shivered. How much yeast did they put into that thing to get it to rise so quickly? “Beat it down!” Undyne ordered, “Flatten it with your fists of fury!”

You couldn’t help but grin in amusement as Papyrus actually began to punch down the dough. Although dangerous, it was pretty funny to watch them cook and you left them undisturbed. You rifled through the first cupboard but were unsuccessful.

“What you looking for, squirt?” Undyne yelled over at you.

“I wanted to make some tea and you guys are using the stove. Alphys said there was a portable water heater in one of the cupboards.”

Undyne looked shy. “Er…Yeah, there was one. But uh, it broke. Randomly. It was not melted.”

“Ah. Got it.”

Undyne cleared her throat. “What do you want tea for? Got a sore throat? I’ve got some warm milk in the fridge and you can put honey in that.”

You cocked an eyebrow. “Did you say warm milk?”

“Yeah. Food tastes better when it’s warm.”

“Huh. Alright then. Nah, just I’m a bit sore is all,” you lied.

“Definitely get the milk then. Milk is good for you, right Papyrus?” Undyne said with a wink.

Papyrus and you both blushed. He nodded to Undyne’s question and did not make eye contact. Undyne retrieved a glass and handed it to you and you walked to fridge curiously. Sure enough, the moment you opened it, you were hit with a wave of heat. You quickly grabbed the milk before you broke into a sweat and poured yourself a glass.

“Right! Now pour on the sauce and cheese!!” Undyne announced as you put the milk back. You spotted the container of honey she had left out for you and attempted to pour a small amount into the cup. The lid was not that secure and it soon popped off, practically coating the glass and your index and middle fingers with the sticky golden residue.

“Shit!” You swore, quickly putting the honey back down. Thankfully you did not manage to spill any on the counter.

“What’s up?”

“The honey lid came off. Shit, sorry Undyne, do you have a towel?”

Undyne shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. Did any get in the cup?”

“Yeah?”

“Humans have tongues, right?” You nodded “Cool, just lick the rest of it,” She suggested, turning back to the oven. “Right, now let’s put it in the oven.”

You felt slightly dumb that you didn’t think about that solution. Duh. You like honey enough. The glass was clean except for the milk. Why not? You started to drag your tongue along the base of the glass before more could fall off, having to do it rather slowly due to the glass being uncomfortably warm. You quickly swallowed before it could drip onto your chin.

You lapped at the side of the glass for only a few moments before you could feel someone watching you. You brushed aside the feeling. However, after one especially rough pass with your tongue, you just couldn’t shake the feeling. Who the fuck would be watching you lick up honey? The only people here were Undyne and… As discreetly as you could, you stole a glance. Your eyes met Papyrus’ and he quickly looked away. What the hell? He was watching you lick up honey? You froze briefly as you realized his cheekbones were slightly orange. Was…was he getting turned on by this? Judging by how desperately he was now trying not to look at you, you were pretty sure he was. A sneaky thought snuck into your mind.

Mettaton put on quite a show in dance class for you. Perhaps you could return the favor. You dragged your tongue along the glass slowly and deliberately, only retracting it back into your mouth when the orange substance had pooled onto your tongue. You shut your eyes and swallowed with a quiet “Mmm.” You sneaked a half lidded look at Papyrus who now looked incredibly uncomfortable but he did not look away. Alright, you had your fun now. You better quit it now before Undyne caught on.

“Papyrus, can you stay here and watch the stove? I gotta go check with Alphys,” Undyne dismissively asked, finally standing out from the oven.

“Uh….”

“Thanks Pap.” Undyne walked out of the kitchen, leaving you two alone.

Well…since Undyne was gone…perhaps it was time to pay attention to your fingers. Your tongue began to lick and encircle the tips of your fingers before you finally brought both of them to your lips. With a gentle push, your fingers parted your lips and you slowly inserted them into your mouth, sucking off the sweetness they were coated in. You moaned a little bit louder now before pulling them out with a satisfying pop. You looked over at Papyrus and your stomach did flip flops.

He watched you intensely, his orange pupil brightly burning out of his black socket. His hands which had been at his sides now tightly clenched the counter top behind him. His jaw was slightly open and his chest heaved heavily as he took in your motions. You smiled mischievously. “Enjoying the show?” You asked.

That seemed to break the skeleton out of his minor trance because his jaw shut tight and he looked startled. “Nyeh, human. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare it’s just, wowie, I don’t really know what came over me.”

You were about to open your mouth to say something when the smell of something burning hit your nostrils. “Is something burning?” You asked.

Papyrus looked toward the oven and nodded. “Yes, the oven is on fire.”

“WHAT?” You quickly jerked yourself away from watching Papyrus to see that the oven was beginning to catch fire. It was a small fire but a fire was a fire.

“Hey smells like something is really cooking up here!” Undyne hollered as she walked in. She spotted the fire and grinned. “Excellent! It’s coming along nicely!”

“Undyne!” You yelled, “This is burning! We got to put it out!”

“We do?”

“Quick! Get some cups of water!”

“Can’t. The faucet is all clogged with dough,” she explained.

You tossed your milk at it and watched as the flames did not even flicker. Well, fuck, now what? Papyrus looked baffled. “Undyne, humans are flammable! We need to put out this fire!” He insisted. You mouthed a silent thank you in his direction. Apparently he remembered how flammable skin was. Not that it was any help now.

“Well what should I put the fire out with?” Undyne demanded.

That’s when everything went into slow motion. There was an awkward battle cry from behind you guys and everyone turned to see Alphys charging the fire, wielding 4 cups o noodles. With a mighty toss, she flung their contents onto the fire, sending noodles and freeze dried vegetables everywhere. The fire struggled against the contents, but it was no match for the saturated liquid and was quickly extinguished. Everyone looked at the extinguished fire and then back to Alphys.

The dinosaur monster was breathing heavily, wet noodles hanging off of various parts of her body and clothing. She was sweating and had run in to the kitchen barefoot. You glanced at Undyne. The fish monster appeared to be in absolute awe. Alphys realized the attention had focused back on her and immediately began to withdraw. “Oh hey uh sorry about coming in, I mean, you guys probably had it under control.”

Undyne bridged the distance and caught the monster in a passionate kiss. Alphys’ tail curled up and her face turned bright red. Papyrus and you quickly averted your eyes to allow them some privacy. By the time Undyne pulled away, Alphys was practically a quivering puddle. “C’mon, let’s get my warrior cleaned up,” Undyne whispered, plucking a noodle off of Alphys’ cheek.

“Ye-yes Undyne,” the scientist stammered and allowed her girlfriend to lead her out of the room.

“Wait, wait, uh,” You began, but stopped. What about the anime? Was that even appropriate to bring up now? Alphys seemed to understand the hesitancy and handed you the television remote she had stuck under her arm before allowing Undyne to lead her upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said you didn't want to miss this chapter? I would most def stick around for the next chapter as well. ;)
> 
> Just out of curiosity, what's the worst/most destructive cooking experience you ever had?
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
>   
> [How would that make you feel (color)](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/smallpersiankitten/156658912440)  
>   
>   
> As always, the wonderful fanart from wonderful people! A list I will keep adding to as long as you keep drawing cool pics! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> 


	81. Wet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, how's everyone? Everyone doing alright? Got electricity? Yes? No? Well, at least staying warm is a plus.
> 
> This is the first night I've had stable electricity and internet which is nice although I admit writing by candle light is certainly very romantic! However, you can't post without internet...so that kinda sucked. lol.
> 
> So here's the chapter. There is a NSFW scene. Just remember if you want to skip, when you see "***", just ctrl+F to the next one. There will be a summary in the end notes.
> 
> Also, based on comments last chapter....fucking poptarts have it out for us as far as cooking disasters go. Watch out for those delicious squared snacks...Christ man.

Apparently wanton destruction of the kitchen was a normal conclusion to these cooking lessons because Papyrus knew exactly where all the cleaning supplies were located. After he pried the dough off the faucet, you began to wash bowls and mixing utensils while he cleaned the oven. This was not how you anticipated your day going in the slightest and your back twitched angrily at your refusal to sit back down. You gritted your teeth and continued to wash and dry until you had only one dish left. At this point you were practically silently gasping in pain as your lower back attempted to break your resolve. 

You placed the dish to the side and attempted to step away from the sink only to feel something large push against your back and pin you against the sink. You let out a small surprised cry and attempted to turn to see what had happened but a hand prevented you from doing so. You realized somewhat anxiously that Papyrus stood behind you, using his own weight to keep you facing the sink. Your eyes narrowed. “What the hell are you doing?” You demanded.

“Language,” Papyrus scolded and you scoffed.

“Get off.” 

“You’re hurt,” Papyrus insisted, “How did you get hurt?” 

You hissed in discomfort and rolled in your eyes. “None of your busi-“ Your response quickly ended in a gasp as Papyrus pressed himself even more so against you. Surprisingly, his gesture wasn’t painful but it did make your stomach twist far more than you would have liked as you were all too aware what this position would look like if someone happened to walk in at this moment. 

“How did you get hurt?”

“Ugh, he didn't mean...it was just an accident.” There was no purpose in implicating Jeremy. 

“He? Did someone do this to you?” Papyrus asked once more and you couldn’t help but pick up a slight forcefulness of the question. Like it wasn’t a question. 

“Jeremy. He tried to do some type of stretch or dance move and I wasn’t able to do it. So he dropped me by accident,” you confessed. Papyrus let up on the pressure he exerted but only slightly.

His hands trailed upwards to your neck and down to your shoulders gently. “Where are you hurt?” 

“My lower back. Feels like he twisted my spine or something,” you answered honestly. 

“I see.” You waited for him to extricate himself but he remained pressed against you. You shifted nervously. He gently turned you to face him. “Human, I would like to fix you.” Did he mean healing magic? Yeah no way that was going to happen. Papyrus seemed to sense your hesitancy and he shook his head. “Not with magic. To be honest, I’m not that comfortable doing that with you right now,” He admitted. 

This piqued your interest. He was not comfortable doing it? “I don’t want you to do it either, but can I ask why you don’t?” You asked tactfully. 

Papyrus appeared taken aback by your question. “Well, I’m starting to feel that I’m not that good at it. I start seeing memories and sharing memories of mine that are meant to be, well, intimate.” He glanced to the side as he said that last part. 

Oh. He didn’t want you to see an intimate memory. There was no doubt at this point. He had slept with someone. And to be honest, the thought of rewatching a memory where Papyrus screwing someone else made your chest clench painfully. Who the fuck would want to see an ex date have sex with some stranger? Ignorance was bliss at this point. You nodded. “I agree. I’d rather you not accidentally see some of mine as well.”

Papyrus hesitated but recovered. “Oh, good. I’m glad. So, am I allowed to fix you?”

“Fine. Not sure what you can do though.”

“Oh! I can do a lot of things! I shall tell you of them while I fix you.” You could help but chuckle a little at the comment.

“Okay, how are we going to do this?” You asked, looking up at Papyrus. You realized that he still had you somewhat pinned against the sink but it seemed like an afterthought at this point. 

Papyrus brightened up. “Right! Yes. I’ll have you lie down on the table.” 

“Uh, no. People eat there.” Well, people that were not you. Maybe if it was your own. 

“Nyeh! I knew that! I just wanted to clarify that with you.”

“Want me to lie on a bed or something?” You suggested warily.

“Yes! Nyeh, I mean, that is not necessary. We can do this sitting,” Papyrus decided, extricating himself off of you and walking out of the kitchen. 

“Sitting?” You called, walking after him. He had pulled out a chair and motioned for you to sit. 

“Sit with your front facing the back.”

“You want me to straddle the chair?” 

“Yes. Are you able to?” 

“Yeah, hold on.” You straddled the chair and rested your chin against the top of the back rest. You heard him pull out another chair and scoot close to you from behind. You let your arms hang over the back end of the chair lazily. 

“Please tell me if this hurts, ok?” You nodded. You felt his hands lightly brush your back experimentally. 

“Mind if I play with my phone?” You asked. 

“No.” You pulled out your phone and checked your emails. You felt Papyrus increase the pressure along the top of your thoracic spinal column. No emails. You clenched your phone a little tighter and bit your lip as the pressure increased. It was painful but you were not going to admit it. You tried to check if you had any texts. Another press and pinch and you almost drew blood from your lips. No texts. You could handle this. 

To your pleasant surprise, where pain was being dealt, you could already feel your back beginning to unwind. You had to stick it out. Find something to distract you. His hand moved down your spine and began to jab at nerves you didn’t realize you had. You twitched and wiggled pathetically. 

“Are you alright?” Papyrus asked. 

“Fine,” you panted. Another press against your upper lumbar muscles made your hips jut forward against the spine of the chair. Your face colored as your pelvis made contact with the rough back of the chair. The cloth of your sweatpants wasn’t incredibly thick and the grooves of the spine pressed just right along your sex that you let out an involuntary shiver. You couldn’t do this here. 

Another press of the nerves and you were stimulated once more. Fuck it. You had been left with the equivalent of female blue balls earlier this week thanks to Papyrus. If he got you off, even accidentally, you would say this would make you even. But even he would pick up on something if you didn’t have a distraction. You pulled up the Sudoku app on your phone. 

The chair was nearly knocked over as Papyrus practically pounced behind you. “Oh! You have the puzzle app still on your phone!” He yelled in your ear as he pressed you even harder against the chair. 

“Ah! Ah! Too rough!” You whined as the knob of the chair slammed into your sensitive area. Your plan worked too well. 

Papyrus quickly got off your chair “Nyeh heh heh! Right! Please let me know if you need any of my assistance.” 

“Yes, yes, just ah, don’t do that again,” you begged as you pulled back your sore cunt from the spine of the chair. 

***

Papyrus resumed painfully working at your back, watching the app as you attempted to solve the puzzle game. You initially did very well and solved the first few. As the difficulty of the puzzles increased, Papyrus seemed to press even harder into you, eliciting from you small gasps as he hit nerves and you rocked against your new best friend. 

You were starting to burn up below and you were far less subtle in keeping quiet. Not that Papyrus seemed to mind in the slightest. You could hear him “whispering” into your ear, “That’s very good! Keep going! I’m proud of you! You’re getting very close!” 

Oh he had no idea. What little shame you had was stripped away and you wiggled more decidedly. Papyrus scooted even closer to you, your seats almost practically touching. This spinal fixing had turned into a massage and you hardly registered that his hands had traveled further down, roughly kneading your waist just above the hips. You whined a bit as you neared the edge but could not bring yourself over. You just needed one more push. 

“Lori?” The sound of your name made you freeze. Oh crap. You were careless! You were caught! This was it! You were officially going to be known as a pervert. “I can see that you need my help!” 

You turned your head to look at Papyrus who was smiling at you. “Your help?” Oh my God. Was he suggesting what you thought he was suggesting?

Papyrus nodded and pointed to your phone that you held tightly in your hands. “You’re only a few numbers away, may I?” You nodded dumbly and Papyrus closed the distance between you both. You were were made painfully aware of his position as your heart beat loudly in your chest. His legs straddling the chair behind your own legs, his chest pressed against your back and his pelvis sitting snugly against your own. He reached an arm over your shoulder and began to tap at the screen of the phone you still continued to hold. 

You expected your arousal to fade but to your surprise, your body betrayed you. You weren’t even pressing yourself against the spine and the heat remained constant, neither growing nor shrinking. There was no way Papyrus could have this type of an effect on you still. You were the one who could fluster him, not the other way around. Papyrus suddenly bumped into you rather roughly and you planted your feet down to prevent the chair from tipping. “Human! I have never reached this level before!” Papyrus cheered, using his other arm to hug your stomach tightly against his as he bumped into you again. Being held this closely by him felt comforting. You almost leaned your head into his shoulder but caught yourself with a scowl.

Much to your chagrin, the unintentional rough treatment and conflicting feelings provided your unwilling fuel. Fuck it, arousal clouded your judgment and you squirmed and pressed against the chair spine. Your back relished the warmth emanating from his body pressed against yours. You were aware of how his fingers pressed into your lower abdomen and how his pinky and ring fingers dipped low enough to rest atop the very top of your vaginal entrance. It didn’t help that his fingers clenched and pushed as he successfully solved for another number. 

God, you were so close. You panted, barely paying any attention to the screen as Papyrus kept trying to solve for the last 4 numbers. You needed just a little more, one final exertion to have you cum. A triumphant shout next to your ear made you stiffen. “We did it!” Papyrus cheered, “We beat diabolical!” He practically smashed you against the back of the chair and the fingers that rested on top of your entrance, dug in, pulverizing your clitoris. 

You let out a strangled moan and yelp as a wave of release swept over you. Your whole body shuddered from your almost completely self inflicted orgasm but you could hardly move as you were still pinned by Papyrus. Your head had swung back slightly but you forced it to hang low instead, panting to take in some sweet, sweet oxygen. Your clitoris throbbed painfully as it was hypersensitive now and you attempted to edge away from your now former best friend. However, Papyrus still held on to you fast. “Human, I did not realize you were so, ah, passionate about puzzles. Maybe even more so than myself,” he wondered from behind you. You were so happy that you were facing away from the skeleton because your blushing only deepened.

You winced as your clitoris reminded you that it was still oversensitive now. “Y-yeah, ah. Can you, uh, remove your fingers?” 

“Fingers?” Papyrus echoed. You felt him flex his fingers over your entrance and you quivered. “Do you mean these?” 

“Yes. Those. Please.” You almost begged. You felt his fingers lift slightly and you let out a sigh of relief only for it to turn into a sharp intake of breath as the rest of his fingers pressed down on your clitoris. “Ah!” You gasped. 

“It wasn’t just the puzzle, was it?” Papyrus asked lowly. 

***

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you keened. 

Papyrus clicked his teeth. “You felt weird, didn’t you?”

“Papyrus, please I-!” You gasped weakly. 

“It’s so nice to hear you say my name not in anger,” He mused out loud. “But I admit it, it sounds good when you say my name regardless,” he purred into your ear, making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. You didn’t risk opening your mouth again. The skeleton continued as if he had said nothing and everything was normal. “A few moments ago, you were very tense but now I can feel that your whole body is relaxed. How?”

You clamped your mouth shut as he waited for an answer. You did not give one. “Did I strike another pressure point?” He wondered. 

“Yeah, sure. Not quite, uh, it’s uh. Just get off me, dummy!” You cried as he flexed his fingers experimentally. Your head hung in defeat. Your defenses were shot in your post coital bliss. You couldn’t even think of a proper insult. 

His fingers pressed once more into your sex and he clicked his teeth. “Human…you are wet.” Oh God, this was it! The secret was out! You were done for. 

No! You could still come out okay on this. You growled instead and elbowed Pap enough to push him back slightly. You gained enough room to twist around and sorta face him. “Don’t you even try to shame me about this!” 

“Shame you?”

You nodded looking into the stunned skeleton’s sockets. “It is perfectly normal for women to get “wet” there and you certainly did not help by touching there!” You scolded. 

Papyrus seemed rather confused. “Human, I think we may have a misunderstanding here.” 

“How is there a misunderstanding that you almost fingered me?” You blurted out. 

“I mean, you are WET,” Papyrus insisted.

“…What?” You felt something land on your nose and you blinked in surprise. You reached with one hand and touched your nose to feel something warm and wet. “Is this water?” 

“I believe so.”

“Where’s water coming from? We’re inside.” Another drop fell, this time on Papyrus and you both looked up. The ceiling above you both appeared to be soaked and water dripped down from above. 

“It appears to be raining from the ceiling,” Papyrus observed as more drops decorated you both. You squinted your eyes at the evergrowing wet circle. The ceiling actually looked like it was bowing with the weight of something. Papyrus seemed to pick up on it as well. “Human, perhaps we should move?” 

A loud crack reverberated through the room. “Shit,” was all you managed to say before the ceiling collapsed in on you both. Papyrus immediately darted backwards, pulling you roughly with him as plaster rained down on you both. You both landed with a thud. Your eyes widened as you watched a large porcelain tub crash to the ground where you both had been sitting just a moment ago. 

Two very surprised, very naked familiar female monsters peeked out from inside the tub that had just fallen through the second story floor. Alphys let out a startled shriek and immediately dove back down. Even Undyne appeared slightly flustered and managed a weak wave. “Uh, hey dorks.”

“Oh my god! Oh my god!” You could hear Alphys squeal from her hiding spot.

“So yeah, ah, I was helping Alphys get cleaned up.” 

“Please someone p-pinch me. This isn’t happening!” You stood up easily, Papyrus no longer restraining you as he now used his hands to cover his sockets. 

“Were you guys having sex while we cleaned the kitchen?!” You demanded, feeling slightly annoyed. 

“Uhhh.” 

You blanched as you looked at the tub. “Is that my phone?!” You gasped. Under one of the legs of the tub was your phone. You walked over to it, ignoring the monsters who looked rather abashed and kicked it out from under. You picked it up and looked angrily at it. It was crushed. There was a hole through the middle. For all intensive purposes, this phone was deceased. “Goddammit,” you swore. “I don’t have another one. Do you know how much it sucks to be phoneless?!” You groaned. 

“W-watch out!” Alphys suddenly cried as another snap echoed from above. You quickly ducked and covered as the ceiling above you came tumbling down. You braced for impact but after a few seconds, realized you were unharmed. You looked up to see a familiar bony structure deflecting debris from above to the ground around you. You turned back to see Papyrus with one hand out as he cast the barrier, and the other still covering his sockets from viewing his female friends. As the last piece of plaster slid off, the magic dissipated, leaving an uncomfortable silence. 

Papyrus didn’t uncover his sockets and at this point you had to scoff. “Oh my God, Papyrus, don’t even try to pretend like you haven’t seen a naked woman before!” You criticized as you walked over to the couch to retrieve some blankets for the monsters.

Papyrus stood up, still shielding himself from seeing Alphys and Undyne who now just shook their heads. “I have not tried to pretend anything. I know that I have…I think? Or is it I have not?” You handed the blankets to the women who took them gratefully. 

“Thanks for the anime and the noodles, Alphys!” You sincerely thanked, waving good bye. 

“W-wait. I might be able to fix your phone!” Alphys offered. 

You looked at the decimated phone and shrugged. “You can try I guess.” You walked over to Alphys to hand it to her.

Papyrus realized you were leaving and quickly called out. “I’m sorry that I made you wet!” 

You froze. Undyne looked between you both, noting how you were practically dry. “Wet?”

“Twice!”

“Twice? How’d she get wet the first time?”

Papyrus nodded gravely. “I accidentally triggered the pressure point in her pelvis.” 

Alphys gaped. “He did what?” 

“You guys did what?”

“Hey, catch!” You frantically chucked the phone at the skeleton who quickly uncovered his sockets to catch the phone. You watched as he looked up and stared right at Alphys and Undyne. The immediate flurry of apologies and squealing gave you the opportunity to escape, leaving your dignity behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** Sum up = You end up grind on the chair and with Papyrus' unintentional assistance, you orgasm, only to get semi caught
> 
> I tried to sketch this scene in my notebook and then I remembered I can't draw for shit. However, these people below me can draw so why don't you show them some loving?  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> 


	82. POV: Scientific Research

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! A POV, although not necessarily a Pap one. Hopefully you'll enjoy some other's character's insights! It's been a rough week for me but I'm glad I can get a chapter out. :D

“alright, no, i understand. we’ll catch you next week. thanks for letting me know. see ya later, alligator.” Sans hung up the phone and rubbed his forehead. 

“What did she say?” Papyrus prompted as he finished straightening out the magazines in front of the television. 

“whelp, apparently floors collapsing from water damage are a pretty big deal. and undyne thinks this would be a good learning experience on home repair for frisk and alphys. so toriel is going along to make sure that there’s no accidental dismemberment.”

“That is very responsible.” 

“which means she won’t be coming until next saturday,” Sans explained. 

Papyrus hummed. “That is unfortunate. I was really hoping to ask her some more questions.”

Sans nodded and scratched his head. “hey pap, listen, uh, can i pick your cranium a bit?” Papyrus nodded although he rolled his sockets at the semi pun. “so, uh, you know how alphys likes to monitor things?”

“Yes?”

“okay, well, uh, she and i were at work the other day. you know, before the elevators went out…” Sans could feel himself sweat as he tried to think of what he would say. 

~~~~~

“Ugh! Th-this is ridiculous,” Alphys groaned, placing her head in her hands. 

“what’s up, doc?” Sans asked with a grin as he approached his colleague. 

“I know wh-what you’re quoting and stop it,” Alphys stuck out her tongue and pointed to her computer. “My cameras aren’t picking up audio!” 

“heh, so you’ve got a bunch of silent films?”

“Pretty much.” 

“are they all quiet?” Sans asked curiously, leaning over Alphys’ shoulder.

“So far! I’m going through the guest room camera.” Alphys glanced at him. “The only ones who have been in that room lately have been the human and your brother.” 

Sans chuckled. “pap and lori were in a bedroom alone?” 

Alphys waved her hands defensively. “It-it wasn’t my idea! When Pap knocked her unconscious-!”

“what?” Alphys paused.

“Yeah, it was r-really bad. She completed the obstacle course, blows up the tower. Pap and her dodge basically me-meteors of death. Then Undyne tells him to k-kiss her and he drops her like a rock.” She played the footage and gestured to it. “We brought her in here to make sure she-she was okay,” she explained as the video showed Alphys, Papyrus and Undyne walking into the room. Sure enough, you were unconscious and Undyne placed you more gently than Sans thought she would have on the bed. 

No audio, still. Alphys sighed and began to forward the video and Sans took a sip from his can of tomato sauce. He languidly watched as Undyne and then Alphys departed, leaving Papyrus alone with you. He raised a brow in surprise as you woke up and proceeded to devolve into a full blown panic when you saw Papyrus touching you. He couldn’t help but chuckle however as Undyne proceeded to lock you both in the room. Probably her definition of tough love if he had to waver a guess. Of which, neither you nor Pap seemed to be particularly fond of at first.

However, gradually, you eventually laid down and allowed Papyrus to approach you again. Sans was mildly surprised to see his brother willingly removing his gloves but he smiled. He hadn’t seen his brother perform any healing magic in a while and it was a nice change. Well, you and Pap seemed to be talking at least. He wasn’t sure you would want to after the mall date. Perhaps he should give Undyne more credit. 

“They mu-must have started arguing,” Alphys sighed as the footage continued. Sans frowned. Something must have happened because you sat up and Papyrus drew back immediately. You looked like you were trying to coax him to do something but Sans knew when his brother was uncomfortable. He watched you two go back and forth until you finally turned away from Papyrus completely. 

Sans shrugged and began to walk back to his desk. So much for that. Alphys suddenly spit out her drink. “OH MY GOD!!” She sputtered. He turned about face and walked back to Alphys. Her hands were on her cheeks in horror. “Sans! Your brother!” Sans stared in disbelief as he watched the footage. If Alphys wasn’t here, he would have questioned whether he was actually awake. She was and she articulated what he could only think. “He’s assaulting her!” 

“technically he already assaulted her since this is an old video,” Sans muttered. 

Alphys wiped the sweat off her brow. “Oh my God! I even heard her scream and I didn’t do a-anything!” Sans watched as his younger, kind, naïve brother tossed you to the bed and pinned you down. Alphys extended a claw to stop the video.

“don’t stop.”

“What?” 

“i want to see what they did.” Alphys murmured nervously but did as he asked as the monsters watched you struggle. You appeared to let out a particularly pained cry and he noted an immediate change in his brother’s demeanor. 

“It looks like they’re stopping,” Alphys observed. Sans nodded silently. Papyrus’ rough treatment faded and you began to speak with him. He felt slightly guilty as he saw his brother brush hair out of your face and watched as you shared what was probably an intimate moment that was not supposed to be broached by two scientists.

It didn’t last. “The phone! He reacted to the phone!” 

“or rather whoever called.”

“How can you tell someone called?”

“the screen lit up.” The two scientists watched as Papyrus tossed your phone away and groped you. Having slept with you a couple of times, he observed how your body writhed underneath Papyrus’ in barely contained arousal. Even without sound, he could tell you were being incredibly vocal which only seemed to spur on his brother’s advances. The gentle intimacy he had witnessed was gone and judging by how his hands reached under your shorts, it was only a matter of time before you had submitted completely.

“Darn it!! I want audio so bad! She just said something!” Alphys yelled in frustration. You had said something. Something that got his attention in his probably very lust driven state. A few moments later, Papyrus pulled away from you and sat apart. 

“he’s not going to do anything else. we can stop the video here.”

“How do you know?” 

“i just know.” Sure enough, you and Papyrus talked now, neither of you making any physical contact with the other. Alphys stopped the footage and leaned back in her chair, sniffing. Sans cocked his head at her. “you okay?”

“Yeah, I thought my nose was going to bleed or s-something,” Alphys admitted with a chuckle, “it happens in anime a lot.” 

“ah. got it.”

“Sans, what are you going to do?” 

“what do you mean? do about what?” 

Alphys pointed at the paused screen. “That! Papyrus can’t go around doing that! Doesn’t he know that you don’t do that?!” 

“he probably has an idea. he’s an adult.”

“Is he a virgin?”

Sans honestly shrugged. “i don’t think so.”

Alphys straightened herself out and pointed to the paused screen. “W-well you better find out! Because if he is and this happens again, she could really get hurt!” 

“considering they’re now not even on pleasant speaking terms, i don’t see this being an issue.” 

~~~~~

But now, it was an issue and if the hasty phone call from Alphys was to be believed, Papyrus may have taken things a step further with you. Sans couldn’t check with you to confirm this as your phone currently existed in pieces in Alphys’ bedroom. “so, uh, you and the human had some time together, yeah?”

Papyrus nodded. “She and I cleaned the kitchen after the cooking lesson!” He explained. 

“did you guys doing anything else?”

Papyrus tapped his chin. “Yes. Apparently her back had been injured by her friend so I fixed it for her.” 

“so you only touched her back?” Sans asked.

“Well, actually, that was a question I had for the Queen. I believe I accidentally pressed and broke a pressure point on the human.” 

“pressure point?” Sans asked.

Papyrus nodded. “Yes, she had a pressure point I had never felt before.”

“uh…where was this point?” 

“Ah! Below her abdomen, near the top of her pelvis,” Papyrus demonstrated, pointing to the position on himself. 

Sans sweated. “what makes you think you broke it, pap?”

Papyrus sighed. “Well, the human was initially fine with me touching the spot,” he explained, “however, at some point she got really tense and then relaxed. When I resumed touching the spot, she was not happy and it seemed uncomfortable. She was damp just below the point there. Most likely from her broken pressure point leaking. I hope she will be able to seek the appropriate medical attention to have it repaired,” he added hopefully. 

Sans groaned. Alphys had been correct in her assumption. Papyrus had unknowingly stimulated you, most likely to an orgasm. “pap, listen to me carefully,” Sans began, “what you did, i don’t want you doing again.” 

Now it was Papyrus’ turn to look disturbed. “What do you mean? Was it wrong?”

“no, not exactly. that spot you touched can make a female feel really good. but uh, it’s something only couples do. and even then, couples only do it after a certain part of their relationship.”

Papyrus began to look alarmed. “Sans? Are you saying I did something lewd?” 

“kinda. i mean, at least you didn’t try to take off her clothes or nuthin.”

“I-I need to make amends!” Papyrus announced, pulling out his phone. He dialed you and his face paled. “It went straight to voicemail!” 

“pap, uh, remember?”

Papyrus didn’t hear him. “Human! This is Papyrus! In my haste to solve the number puzzle, I put you in a position where I handled you rather roughly and not guard like at all. I’ve since learned that it was actual rather lewd. I did not intend to overstep the bounds of our current relationship. Please know that I hold you in the highest regard and look forward to you being angry with me soon!” Papyrus ended the call. 

“she doesn’t have her phone.”

“Oh. Right.” Something wasn’t adding up right to Sans and he looked at his brother strangely. Papyrus shifted nervously. “Well, dinner isn’t going to make itself!” He declared and he quickly dashed to the kitchen.

~~~~~

Do you know how much it sucks to not have a phone? A lot. That’s what you decided after the few 30 minutes of waking up. You had to dig out an alarm clock from storage and a small handheld book of phone numbers. If the banks were open, you would have seriously considered stopping by and picking up change to use in telephone booths. Wait, did telephone booths even exist anymore. 

You spent the day watching television and generally doing your best to not think about yesterday nor tomorrow. You remembered you hadn’t emailed your parents in a while so you pulled out your laptop around lunch time and shot them an email. 

“Hey guys. Everything is going well. Work has been really busy but it’s been good. I’m starting to take dancing lessons at the Sunset Ballroom. It still looks the same although they don’t really use the big ballroom these days. On a crap note, the guy who I dated before is in this class so I have to see his stupid smiling face three times a week. Which is three times too many in my opinion. Anyway, I look forward to seeing you guys soon. You’ll come after the dance class ends so I guess I’ll show you my new awesome moves when I see you then. Love, Lori.” 

You hit send and closed your laptop. Out of the corner of your eye, you couldn’t help but notice the bag you had brought with you to Undyne and Alphys’ house. You had forgotten to unpack it the other day. You rose to your feet, noting how much easier and painless it was to do so than it had been two days ago. You were grateful for that but there was no way you’d be admitting anything outloud. You graciously turned the bag upside down and shook it. 

A clunk caught drew your attention to the pile of items that spilled from your bag. You knelt down and sifted through them curiously until your fingers felt the edge of a DVD cover. You pulled it out and stared. The front cover consisted of a purple haired anime girl clad in battle armor that was jumping from an explosion. The title was in Japanese and you flipped to the other side to read the back. More Japanese but there was a blurb written in broken English.

“Beautiful fighter, Mikaya, defender of good and humanity, must stop the evil from taking over her school! But what’s this? Who the good looking student and how is he connected to everything? Will true love save or destroy everything?” You eyed it critically. Well…that explains nothing. You spotted another blurb “English Dub available”.

“Eh, fuck it.” You popped the DVD into your player and selected the English Dub option. Reading was hard and you had other things to do like fold laundry and empty the dishwasher. You grabbed the laundry from your bedroom as the title sequence played. Badly voice acted dialogue spewed forth as you folded your laundry and matched your mix match of socks. 

“Oh no! Here comes the monster! He’s very bad!” You snickered as you put the laundry away and began to work in the kitchen. You spotted the heroine standing defensively in front of some large orange and red octopus creature with glowing eyes. Yup, looks pretty bad, you mentally agreed as you began to empty the dishwasher. “No, he’s got me! Aiyee!! No! Wait!” You nearly dropped a glass as the sound of a woman moaning ripped from your television’s speakers. Your eyes shot up and stared wide eyed at the scene in front of you. 

Mikaya? Michelle? Fuck it, who cared. That purple haired chick was at the moment getting groped by tentacles. “No! Ohhhh, ohhh, why does it feel so good?”

“Because you and I were meant to be together,” The monster growled behind a row of frightening fangs as slimy tentacles writhed over her body. “I’m your boyfriend!” 

“No! No that’s not true! That’s impossible.” You raised an eyebrow. The fuck?

“Search your feelings! You know it to be true!” Were-were they quoting what you thought they were quoting? What type of fucking anime was this?!

“Nooooo!!! Noooooohhhhh!! Ohh! OH! FUCK ME!” 

“Well, shit,” you gaped, “That escalated quickly.” You watched as the octopus creature did just that and proceeded to violate every orifice this woman presented to the monster. You thanked the God of anime that this wasn’t censored. You couldn’t tear your eyes away as the monster and his now quite willing victim moaned and groaned.

You plopped yourself down on the couch and yanked the DVD case to your face. How the FUCK did this get in here? Did Alphys put it in here?! Oh my God. Why the fuck would she put this in here?! When did she even do that? And why did your face feel so warm watching the orange tentacles fuck the hell out of that chick?

“Oh! Oh! I’m cumming!!!” You looked up just in time to see both characters scream in ecstasy. 

“Ready for Round number two?” Oh, you could not deal with this. You hit pause and ejected the DVD. You ran your fingers through your hair after you returned it to its case. Oh man, how and when were you going to ever return this DVD to Alphys? There was no way you would be able to hand it to her with a straight face. She would know you had seen it. You left it on the TV stand with an awkward laugh.

“Hahaha…right…I better go take care of…stuff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...let's see how next week goes. Wonder if Papyrus is going to try to make amends?
> 
> On a side note, no, the movie is not based on a particular anime/hentai. Unless you guys can think of something similar lol
> 
> Man this list is getting longer and longer. Love them people! They needs to be loved.  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> 


	83. Getting What You Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I hope you're doing well. I'm in the process of changing jobs (Same field, just different hospitals). I'm excited to say that I will not only go to a place that will pay more, but I ALSO GOT A NEW CHAPTER UP!!! HAHAHA! YES! :D
> 
> There is also new fanart by Zully! She draws an awesome Alphys. I just wanna smush that scientist. Go check it out! [How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you)
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, you guys are awesome. This particular chapter has a twist at the end. If you're determined to remain in reader POV and not be aware of stuff that happens outside of reader, then skip the rest of the chapter when you see the following:  
> ~
> 
> ~~
> 
> ~~~~
> 
> ~~~~~~
> 
> ~~~~~~~
> 
> That being said, enjoy the chapter! :D

Monday came with all of its insanity and for once, you were grateful for it. Insanity meant you didn’t have time to think about anything other than your job. And your job made you happy. And therefore, you were happy.

In fact, work was so busy, you were not able to clock out for a lunch break. You did your best to ignore your grumbling stomach, but it seemed to take perverse delight in making loud gastric hungry noises when everyone was quiet. By the sixth rumble, Cheri took pity on you. 

“Hun, do you want me to go next door and get you something from that Indian place?”

“Thanks, but I don’t like Indian food,” you admitted. Starving seemed a far better prospect than what would happen if you hate spicy curry. Besides, you had places to be for the next 6 hours. You chuckled at your own dumb joke. Nobody else laughed.

Cheri rolled her eyes and walked back up front only to immediately power walk back. “Hey, uh, can you do me a favor?” 

You eyed the receptionist curiously who seemed suddenly very anxious. “Yeah…is a client giving you an issue up there?”

“No, no. Definitely nothing going on out there that concerns you.”

“Uh huh. What do you need me to do?” 

“Can you see if you can find a white towel that a client brought in?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“A white towel.”

“Yeah.”

“Any other distinguishing marks?”

“Nope, just a white towel.”

“Cheri, you know we have at least like 40 white towels.”

“Well the client up there really likes this towel. So you will please go find it all the way in the back?”

You shrugged. “Alright but no guarantees.” You walked back to the laundry area and began the grueling process of trying to separate the white towels. After 3 minutes, this task was now painfully monotonous. After 10, you were ready to shoot yourself. Thankfully, the opportunity never presented itself as TJ walked back there. 

“What are you doing?”

“Looking for a white towel.”

“You are aware that we have at least 40 different shades of white towels.”

“Yes. Yes I do, but there’s a client up front who says they left their towel.”

“Well it was empty when I got up there so perhaps they left. We need you back with the other techs.”

“They left?” You asked as you quickly replaced the towels to their original spots. 

“I suppose so.”

Tim ran in, startling both you and the doctor. “Hey motherfuckers! Someone brought us pastries!” He shouted excitedly before darting back out the door. 

“Shit, shit! Really?! Wait for me!” 

TJ gave you an exasperated look. “You techs always act like you’ve never seen food before.”

You ignored him and walked into the lab room. Where you weren’t supposed to have food but until an inspector showed up, communal noms would find their way here on the table. Sure enough, there was an opened box of pastries. A selection of muffins, donuts and croissants laid prettily in the box. Tim was already munching on a muffin so you picked up a donut. 

“Who brought us pastries?” You asked.

Tim shrugged. “Not sure. But check out the box.” He turned the box around and you cocked your head at it. It was an image of a spider. There were still a few months until Halloween so the spider décor was a bit odd. 

“Maybe it’s one of those boutique bakeries,” You suggested. 

“Well wherever it’s from, their food is pretty good. They’ve got a weird aftertaste to them though,” Tim mentioned. 

You bit into your donut and chewed thoughtfully. He was right. There was a flavor in it that you couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t unpleasant in anyway. Just, different. You swallowed and carried the donut back with you. “Let me know when they make a thank you card so I can sign it!” You called over your shoulder. 

For the rest of the day, you felt pretty good. Like you had a full night’s sleep and a nutritious breakfast type of good. Even though you knew you would be going to dance class, you actually were looking forward to it. Despite being phoneless, today was turning out to be a really good day. 

~~~~~

“Hey, you haven’t been answering your phone. What gives?” Jeremy asked as you stretched. 

“My phone got destroyed.”

“You mean it’s broken?”

“I know what I said.” Jeremy stared at you for a few moments until he realized you were not elaborating.

“Uhhh, right. Do you want me to get you a new one?” He asked. 

You shook your head. Man, it was a nice plus to date a rich guy. You had to keep that in mind. “Nah, don’t worry. I’ll get one soon. In the meantime, I’ll just carry around my adorable little phonebook.” You emphasized your point but holding aloft your miniature phone book you had been carrying all day.

“Ha, alright, I guess. Say, what are you doing Saturday night?” Jeremy asked casually. 

“Uh, probably staying home and eating a pizza…why?” Ah, the glory of adulthood.

“Well my work is hosting a wine tasting event later this month and they’ve got like a private sampler before the big one. Like only exclusive people and guests of employees.”

“That sounds incredibly boring.”

“And I wanted to invite you,” Jeremy asked, sticking out his tongue. 

“And by incredibly boring, I mean that sounds fabulous,” you laughed, punching him gently in the shoulder. “Sure, what time do you want me to get there?”

“Actually, I was hoping I could just pick you up and bring you back to your place. Parking is going to be a bitch and you not having a phone is going to make it hard for me to track you down unless you come with me,” Jeremy insisted. 

There was logic in the plan. You hadn’t gone to his place of work although you certainly heard about it from clients and coworkers. You’d probably get lost and with no phone to help guide you, it would just be an added stress. “Good plan. What’s the dress code?”

“Semi Formal. So like cocktail dresses?”

“Great.”

“So I’ll pick you up around 7?” 

“Sounds good.” 

“Get in line!” 

Jeremy and you looked up to see Emilio gesturing to the line. “Don’t trip anyone this time,” Jeremy called out as he walked away. 

“No promises!” You giggled, turning to face your first partner. 

It was Papyrus. Oh. You hadn’t expected him right away. You stared to prime yourself to be combative when Papyrus spoke. “Human, I would like to apologize for my actions on Saturday. I have such learned they were inappropriate.” Well those weren’t the words you expected to come out of his mouth. 

“Oh, uh, it’s okay, I guess,” you admitted, “I kind of participated too, so uh, maybe we should just forget about it?” 

“If that is what you wish, then yes.” The way he said this was unsettling. It sounded so…resigned. You weren’t sure how black sockets could appear lifeless but the fire that you somehow could sense before had been extinguished. The resistance that you had encountered last dance class was gone and you lead easily. 

What could you say? Yes, he was more than welcome to remember you grinding against his fingers and bringing yourself to orgasm after you clearly told him you despised him? Or, no, try not remember how you pressed against him as you both beat Diabolical difficulty? “Uh, okay then.” That was not a good answer. But honestly, what were you going to say?

“Would you like me to leave the class?” 

Your thoughts quickly returned and you faced him sharply. “What did you say?!” 

“SWITCH!” Papyrus didn’t speak anymore. He simply gave you a polite bow and walked away. 

Jeremy quickly walked up to you, glancing at Papyrus as he departed. “Wow.” 

“Did you hear that?” You asked as he placed you in position. 

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah! I mean it worked out perfectly!” 

You blinked in surprise. “It does?”

“He’s going to quit if you say yes. That’s awesome,” Jeremy insisted, nudging your knee backwards. You stepped back as he advanced with a smile. “That’s what I, uh, I mean we really were hoping was going to happen.” 

“It was?” You asked unsurely. 

“Well, yeah, duh. You don’t want to see him anymore, right?”

“Yes?” 

Jeremy’s eyes narrowed slightly. “You don’t sound too sure of yourself.” His grip tightened slightly but not enough to hurt. But it got your attention. “So what DID happen on Saturday between you two?” He asked. There was a tone in his voice that immediately put you on the defense. 

You bit your lip. “I-uh. We accidentally knocked a bath tub through the floor of a second story home.” Alright, that was a lie, but there was no way you were going to admit what actually happened. 

Jeremy snorted and laughed. “Man, you’re weird. You wanted this, you know.” You tried to chuckle too, but it was rather weak compared to your friend. As Jeremy tugged you toward him, you stole another glance toward the tall skeleton. Mettaton had fastened himself to Papyrus. The skeleton was smiling a bit more now, but who wouldn’t. Mettaton’s energy was so fucking contagious. And for once, you were grateful for it. You saw some life pop back into the skeletal monster and you let out a sigh of relief. 

“You wanted this.” After Jeremy released you and you moved on, these words still disturbed you. Hell, even Sans couldn’t offer much change. 

“he’s got a lot on his mind. would you want to be in a class with someone who hates his guts?” 

“No, I don’t think I would,” you admitted. 

“he doesn’t even have guts to hate,” Sans chuckled. You sighed and Sans observed you. “course, you seem to be thinking a lot too.” 

“I guess, I am.”

“SWITCH!”

“whelp, keep me posted.” 

Practice ended too quickly and you left without giving anyone an answer. “You wanted this.” Had you? As you drove home, you rubbed your forehead and mulled those thoughts. You did not want to see Papyrus again? Why was that even a question? As your chest twitched uncomfortably. Did you really have to keep reminding yourself that he stood you up?

How stupid were you? How could you feel bad seeing Papyrus so discouraged? You bet you felt 10 times worse than he did. Why were you even opening yourself up to the possibility of getting hurt again? You weren’t opening yourself up. Who said you were opening up to anyone, especially to him? You had to be determined. Yeah! Maybe you did want this! Not maybe. You did want this! Yes! Your mind was made up. 

Next class would be Papyrus’ last!

 

~

 

~~

 

~~~~

 

~~~~~~

 

~~~~~~~

 

Today was turning out to be a really bad day. Well, for Papyrus at least. He had difficulty sleeping even after a bed time story the night before. He felt guilty. Really guilty. And confused. Really confused. He had not meant to commit a lewd act with you. Correction. He had not meant to commit a lewd act with you, now. Maybe in the past when you enjoyed his company, yes, perhaps you both would have gotten there. However, considering your animosity toward him for the time being, this act had probably set any progress he had made with you a few steps back. Not that he couldn’t fix it. He could fix anything! 

It’s just, he wasn’t sure that his action was entirely unwelcome. Papyrus rubbed his forehead. You were certainly irritated with him before and after the incident, but during it…You almost seemed like you were enjoying it. He could have sworn you leaned against him and pressed yourself harder into his hands. You had been responsive to his comments about the game, letting out small, almost pleased noises after each praise. And that’s where the confusion laid. You had not orally said anything but you had reacted physically in a favorable way. Either way, he would like to clear the air with you before he saw you again later this evening. 

He picked up the box of Muffet pastries he had placed on the passenger seat and stepped out of the car. He was not sure if you or any of your coworkers ever had monster food before. Frisk had said that monster food had helped him during his trial in the underground and perhaps it could make you feel a little better too. Thankfully it didn’t look too busy at your work so he felt slightly more comfortable about the impromptu visit. 

Papyrus walked in the lobby and waved happily as he recognized Pam. “Hello friendly receptionist human!” He greeted pleasantly. 

She looked up quickly and broke into a wide smile. “Oh hello, Papyrus! It’s so..oh.” Her smile faltered and she bit her lip as the other receptionist, Cheri, walked out from the back. 

Cheri froze when she spotted Papyrus and the skeleton felt the air get tense. “Pam!” 

Pam quickly turned around. “You go back there and keep her there.” Cheri nodded and ran back into depth of the hospital. 

Papyrus cocked his head at Pam. “Is everything alright? Is this a bad time? I was hoping to give the human this gift,” he offered. 

“Oh honey.” Papyrus immediately picked up the sadness in the voice. “Oh gosh, honey, I’m so sorry. But, the office manager has banned you from this hospital.”

“I’m sorry?” Papyrus must have misheard. 

Pam shook her head. “As much as I don’t want to, I’m supposed to turn you away if you showed up here.” 

He scratched his head. “Well, I don’t believe I have met the office manager. Perhaps if we meet, they will see I’m a friendly monster and will lift the ban?” He suggested hopefully. 

“The office manager wasn’t the one who requested you to be banned.” 

“Then who-?” Papyrus voice cut out as realization slammed him. “Lori?” Pam nodded with a grimace. You. You had requested him to be banned. He knew he had upset you, but to actually have him banned from your place of work? This seemed extreme yet you had done it. Which meant, you really did not want to see him at all. 

He recognized that his shoulders had started to slump and he straightened himself out. “I see. Well, that is unfortunate.” He looked at the box in his hands and placed it on the counter. “May I ask a favor?”

“Of course.”

“Will you please take this box and share it with everyone? I was hoping to give it to the human to share but, well…nyeh.” He chuckled humorlessly. 

Pam’s eyes softened. “You’re a sweetheart.”

Papyrus nodded and walked toward the door only to double back quickly. “Can you make sure she gets one?” 

“Of course, dear. Papyrus?"

"Yes?

"Please take care of yourself.” 

"Thank you. I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on that somewhat depressing note, we end our chapter. Feeling down still? Check out some of the artwork from some of the talented artists below! 
> 
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> [How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you)  
> 


	84. Adulting it Up/ POV: Puzzles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who was super sweet and supportive to me on Tumblr and Discord. The job changing is scary but I'm looking forward to it and you guys have made me feel 1000% better!!
> 
> This is a two POV chapter today (hence the convoluted chapter title). Again, if you have no interest to see what Pap's is up to, just stop ready after you see this ~~~~~. 
> 
> Not much to say but ON WITH THE STORY! :D

“So what do you think?” 

Tim blinked and looked at you from the other side of the dog. “What did you say?”

“Have you not been listening?” 

“…I’ve got my head right next to this dog’s butt, so no.” You both were holding down a dog while another tech applied a bandage. You managed to secure the head of the wiggling dog. Tim had the fortune of being near its butt. Life was good.

“Alright, so Papyrus asked if I wanted him to drop the class.”

“Seriously?” Tim chuckled.

“Yeah.”

“So what’s the question?”

“What do I tell him?” You asked irritably.

“Well, do you want him in the class?”

“No!”

“Well, then, tell him-“

“I don’t know!” 

Tim stared at you for a moment. “….Okay you’re not making this easy.” 

You gave an exasperated sigh. “Do you think I would be asking you if this was an easy question?”

“Why is this not an easy question? He stood you up, you saw him in class a few times, that’s it, right?”

“Uh…”

His eyebrow raised. “What’s uh?”

“Nothing.”

“Wait, have you guys run into each other?” 

“No, well kinda, uh, sorta," You admitted 

“Sorta? Did you see him?”

“Yes.”

“Did you make physical contact with him?” 

“Yessss.” 

“Why did you enunciate the yes?” 

“No reason. We had physical contact.” The dog tired to lick your arm and you shooed it away defensively. 

“…Did you guys fuck?” 

“What? Are you insane?” The third tech looked between you both and kept to themselves.

“You’re not saying no.” 

“He ended up coming over to Undyne’s while Alphys and I were watching anime. They set the kitchen on fire, Alphys put it out and then one thing led to another and he gave me a back rub. Alone.”

“Okay. That’s uh, different, but not too bad. Did you say alone?” 

“Yeah. Uh, Alphys and Undyne went upstairs to ‘clean’ each other.” 

“And you just stood there and he gave you a back rub?” 

“Well, uh, he had me straddle a chair and he sat behind me and did it.”

Tim sighed. “Okay, listen. I’m going to give you one shot to just come absolutely clean with me here. No judgment, no consequences. Got it?”

“Papyrus accidentally fingered me through my pants while I was pressed against the spine of the chair and I got off on it.”

“Dude, what the fuck?!” 

“You said no judgment!”

“I know but damn dude. How did he do it accidentally? He’s still a virgin right?” 

“No. Sans and I heard him with a woman last week.”

“You’re hooking up with his brother still?!” 

“A recent development.”

“How do you accidentally finger someone anyway?”Tim mused.

“Maybe he didn’t finger the other girl. Maybe he fucked her without foreplay. It would explain the screaming.” 

“Alright, didn’t need to know that. But listen, you got to choose a random guy to get all your sexual frustrations out on so you can figure out your relationships.”

“Ugh.”

“Listen, something’s gotta give and it’s only a matter of time. So you better figure this shit out fast. Preferably if you can fuck someone who is not related to someone you are romantically involved with.”

“I’m not romantically involved with Papyrus.”

“Well you both got some unresolved tension that you could start with addressing. Like an adult.” 

“But…adulting is hard.” 

“Trust me, I know. Fuck adulthood.” 

~~~~~

“Hello Alphys!” Mettaton greeted as she opened the door. 

“Mettaton?! Oh he-hey. I didn't know you were coming.” Alphys gasped. Mettaton showed himself in to her home and placed his coat on the hanger next door. “Are we remodeling?” He asked as he spotted a hole in the ceiling. 

“Not intentionally. We had a bath tub fall through,” Alphys mumbled, not making eye contact.

Mettaton appeared to wink. “I see. Well now. I'm afraid I have come on business related matters.”

“B-business?” He nodded. 

“Yes as the human’s dating coach, I need to make sure I continue to gain intelligence on the monster she is interested in dating.”

Alphys wrung her claws together. “Uh, well, I don't know if you know but they're not dating anymore.” 

Mettaton scoffed. “Surely Alphys, I thought of all monsters with your brilliant mind, would know better.”

“Uhhh.”

“There's clearly still a relationship between them. A tension that is becoming more and more taut each time they encounter each other. Its only a matter of time before those two have no choice but to engage in passionate wild love making to release this energy between.”

Alphys felt her cheeks redden at the last part. “Oh uh, wow. Well if you're sure. Uh, you probably could catch Papyrus now. They'll go on break soon.”

“Marvelous! Oh do make sure to let Burgerpants in when he arrives. He'll be joining us shortly.” Alphys nodded and Mettaton rolled outside. 

The robot immediately spotted Papyrus and tittered to himself. The Royal Guard in training was sparring with Lesser Dog. He couldn't help but admire the physical prowess of the skeletal monster. Couple that with his sweet disposition and you had yourself quite a catch. You just needed to be reminded was all. Mettaton quickly shifted into his alternate form and walked with a sway toward his target.

Papyrus spotted the robot and practically stopped in place. “Oh wowie! Hello Mettaton!” Lesser Dog quickly retracted an attack and wagged his tail excitedly at the robot's arrival.

“Hello Papyrus. Hello puppy,” the robot cooed. He held out a hand for Lesser Dog to smell as Papyrus smiled at him. 

“How are you doing today? Are you here to meet with Dr. Alphys?”

“At this moment, no. I'm actually here to see you, you lucky monster you.”

Papyrus was surprised. “Me? Really? Wow! This must be what popularity feels like. Eh, not that I don't know. Because I'm popular.”

“Of course, darling.” 

“So talking with you is certainly not stressful activity at all. Because I talk to famous monsters all the time.” 

Mettaton could have spent hours watching the skeleton awkwardly fawn and praise him, but he was on a time limit. Another episode would be filming shortly and his employees would be absolutely lost without his directing expertise. The pitfalls of being so talented, no doubt. He placed a hand on Papyrus’ shoulder and the skeleton immediately went silent. 

He barely disguised a coy smile. Of course, his presence did not carry as much weight during dance class with the skeleton. During those times, he was distracted, most likely with thoughts of you, and even with the robot star clinging to his chest, he knew the Monster would try to subtly catch a glimpse of you. But now, you weren’t around and Mettaton had his complete attention. 

“So, I can’t help but notice that you and your little human friend aren’t talking as much,” Mettaton commented innocently, “Perhaps a lover’s quarrel?” 

Papyrus shifted uncomfortably. “Not exactly. I’m afraid I made a mess of our third date and now she does not want to date me anymore.” 

“A mess? But you’re so good, how can you possibly make a mess?” 

“I stood her up.” 

Mettaton over dramatically gasped. “Oh! How horrid! Oh!” Papyrus cringed as the robot placed a hand against his own head. “I feel so light headed! I’m going to faint!” Mettaton threw himself theatrically backwards into Papyrus’ arms who thankfully managed to catch the robot host with minimal difficulty. 

“Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” Papyrus asked worriedly. Mettaton stirred in his arms and moaned. 

“Oh Papyrus, I just had the most intense vision!” 

“Wow. You weren’t even unconscious 5 seconds! That’s amazing!” Papyrus awed. 

Mettaton cleared his throat. “I suppose it can’t be helped that my mind is able to form the most intense of intuitions in such a short amount of time!” 

“Would you like me to put you down now?” 

“No, I feel much better in your arms,” Mettaton cooed, placing a hand on his chest. Papyrus turned a bright shade of orange and Lesser Dog let out a quiet wolf whistle. Which only made Papyrus’ blush deepen. 

“Nyeh, I guess you can stay here,” Papyrus admitted. 

“You’re such a gem. Well, with me, not with your ex date.” Papyrus cringed again, allowing Mettaton to snuggle up even closer to the guard in training. 

“Ah, I, just hope she is happy?”

“I’m sure she’ll be absolutely delighted! She’s got an eye candy just doting on her like a puppy dog.” 

“Eye..candy?” Papyrus questioned.

“Oh it’s a term humans like to use. It means an attractive person.” Papyrus fit the definition into the previous sentence and stiffened. 

“Ah.” 

“But! Never fear, I will serve as your eye candy as needed!”

Papyrus couldn’t help but smile. “That is very kind of you.”

Mettaton pointed eagerly. “There’s Burgerpants now!” Papyrus turned quickly to see Burgerpants holding a camera up. 

“Alright, let’s get this over with. Smile,” Burgerpants said lacklusterly. Mettaton wiggled excitedly and Papyrus actually appeared to brighten at the opportunity for a photo. 

“Oh! Would you be willing to give me a copy of this photo?” Papyrus asked hopefully, still managing to carry the Monster star. 

“Don’t worry dear, everyone’s going to have a copy soon!” Mettaton purred close to his face. 

"I said smile, dammit!”

It happened in a flash. Mettaton took the split second before the shutter clicked to press his purple lips against Papyrus’ cheekbone. Papyrus almost dropped the host in shock at the intimate gesture and blushed considerably. 

Click. Mettaton quickly plucked his lips from Papyrus and hopped out of his arms nimbly. “Let me see it!” BP handed the camera to the star who eagerly peeked at the photos. “Oh, these are perfect. Perfect. Make sure they’re up by next broadcast.” The star quickly tuned back toward Papyrus and smiled devilishly. 

Maybe he had feelings for you, but no man nor woman was a match for the exuberance and absolute presence that was Mettaton. Papyrus appeared dazed with a silly smile on his face and didn’t really register the star’s return until Mettaton was practically in front of him. “Thank you so much for your cooperation, love. Can I ask one teensy favor? I need some help with a puzzle.”

Papyrus snapped to attention immediately at the word puzzle. “Nyeh heh heh! You’ve come to the right Monster for I am Papyrus, Expert Puzzle Solver!” He couldn’t help but puff out his chest and stand proudly as Mettaton clapped his hands together eagerly. 

“Oh wonderful! Wonderful! I knew I could count on you! Let me know when you’re ready.”

“I am always ready.”

Mettaton cleared his throat. “So it’s a word problem. Would you like to take notes?”

“If you want me to, sure!” Papyrus accepted a piece of paper from BP who was lighting up nearby. 

“Very well. So the other day, I was enjoying a lovely dinner at some cute little human restaurant. Let’s say it was Italian. And Burgerpants was supposed to meet me there to discuss options for new wardrobe for my actors. This was our 3rd time meeting together.” Papyrus quickly jotted down the words “Italian restaurant. Meet friend. 3rd time”

“However! Burgerpants found himself distracted by a beautiful feline monster in a Monster bar…let’s say Grillby’s. Yes, he met a beautiful, feline monster at Grillby’s,” BP turned bright red and immediately turned around, coughing on his cigarette. Mettaton ignored him. “And he’s not checking his phone. Which is terrible employee behavior, but love often blinds common sense and reason so I’ll let it slide.”

Papyrus jotted down “Grillby’s”, “not answering phone”, “terrible behavior” and “love blinds reason”. He hesitated a bit but shook his head and resumed listening to Mettaton who waited patiently for him.

“Well, I’m not quite sure where Burgerpants was but I have a hunch that’s he’s at Grillby’s. However, I haven’t had a chance to charge at all today and am running on reserve power. So naturally, I’m in no condition to actually make the trip to Grillby’s without the risk of stumbling and wobbling or worse, shutting off on the sidewalk. And as much as I love a crowd, that would be rather embarrassing.”

Papyrus finished scribbling “needs to move” and “stumble”, “can’t walk.”

“So the problem is, how do I get to Grillby’s to meet up with BP?” 

Papyrus tapped his chin thoughtfully. “That is a curious problem.” 

“Why don’t you read me back the hints?” Mettaton offered.

He nodded and held up his paper. “Italian restaurant, meet friend, third time, Grillby’s, not answering phone, terrible behavior, love blinds reason, needs to move, stumble, can’t walk.” He scratched his skull thoughtfully. This was a very odd list of words. And it was nagging at something in the back of his cranium. Why did this all sound so familiar? He had never heard of this word problem before? And then suddenly everything hit. 

The third date! You had been at an Italian restaurant, waiting to meet him for a third date. And he had been at Grillby’s, not answering his phone. He felt terrible but at the time, he really thought these were the correct steps to move to the next step in your relationship. And when you finally showed up, you could barely walk. You stumbled a lot. There was no way you could have made it the Monster bar by yourself.

“How did she reach Grillby’s?” Papyrus asked the paper. 

Mettaton coughed. “She?”

“I mean, you. How would you reach Grillby’s?”

“That’s what I would love to know. Because I was certainly in no condition to make the trip by my loneseome.” 

Papyrus scoured his brain but the only thought he came up with was too obscure. “Someone would have had to pick her-you up and take you there,” He rationalized. 

Mettaton practically jumped for joy. “That is marvelous! Absolutely marvelous! I knew I could count on you. You are most certainly an Expert of Puzzles.” 

“Who picked her up?” 

“What?”

“Who picked you up?” Papyrus asked. 

The robot host winked. “Well, it wouldn’t have just been anybody! I love my fans but I’d probably go with someone I personally knew if I was that incapacitated.” Papyrus appeared befuddled and groaned. He didn’t know how many friends you had, but you did appear to know a few other humans other than the ones he had met. Could one of them picked you up? How would he be able to even find out this information?

“I guess, whoever it was had to have entered the restaurant in order to get me to the bar,” Mettaton offered. 

“That makes sense.” 

“Oh well, but I guess there’s no way of finding out that information!” Mettaton threw up his hands in defeat. “But really, you’ve done a great service for me.”

“I’m glad I was able to help.” 

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow!” Mettaton called out. Papyrus went to resume sparring with Lesser Dog who had taken the opportunity to fall asleep when Mettaton suddenly dashed back. “Oh! Do you think the classroom has surveillance videos?”

“I’m not sure.”

“A lot of human establishments have these cameras inside to keep records of who comes in and out, although I personally hope there’s cameras in our classroom so I could get footage of my new dance techniques!” Mettaton waved his hands dismissively. “I’m sure Alphys could rig up some cameras in there if there aren’t any. I’ll bring it up tomorrow. Don’t worry, darling.” 

Papyrus waved good bye to Mettaton. He once again turned to resume training with Lesser Dog only to stop dead in his tracks as Mettaton’s casual comments clicked in. Cameras! There were cameras in the restaurant! And if there were cameras, that meant there were recordings. And if there were recordings, that could mean one thing! 

Whoever took you that night was on video and Papyrus was determined to find out who it was. 

~~~~~

Undyne let out a sharp whistle. “Assemble!” She hollered loudly and watched as her guards came running. They quickly assembled into position and she smiled at the eagerness. Her smile slightly dropped as she realized she was down a member. “Where’s Papyrus?” She asked. 

Lesser Dog simply whined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really recommend hanging out for next chapter. ^_^ 
> 
> Anyone got any good Valentine's day story ideas? I hope to have a Valentines fic out by Valentines day (again, let's see what happens with that-i might write two if you guys have good ideas)
> 
> Again! See this links below me? If you haven't already, bathe them in a shower of kisses!! They need more lovin! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> [How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you)  
> 


	85. POV: The Italian Job/Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another two POV chapter here! More sleuthing for our skele! 
> 
> [Lori Doodlel](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203) by underfailure! And [How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i)  
> by Zully!
> 
> On to the story!

Papyrus walked into the Italian restaurant. Mettaton was right. Something about the whole date he stood you up had been off. It was one thing for you to be mad and have gone home. It was another for you to have shown up at Grillbys bar so intoxicated that you could barely stand. There was no way you could have gotten to that bar alone in those conditions.

The hostess looked up from her stand and froze. “Oh my god, Papyrus. You have to leave right now.”

Papyrus shook his head. “That's the second time I've been told that in the last 3 days. Did Lori ban me here too?”

To his surprise, she shook her head. “No, no. We haven't heard from her since that night. But really you have to get out of here before...”

He crossed his arms. “Before?”

Her voice lowered. “Before my dad finds out you're here.”

“Papyrus!” A gruff male voice yelled.

The girl immediately jumped up. Papyrus turned to the voice to see Giuseppe striding toward him quickly. “Hello human cook!” He began to greet.

“Yousa a real sonuva bitch!” The chef swore.

“Excuse me?"

His accent was thick and his face was red. For all purposes. The full blooded Italian was furious. Even though the man was shorter than Papyrus, that did not stop him from practically invading the skeleton's personal space. “Yousa thinks yah can just go on-a walka in here like everything's justa fine.”

“I didn't think-”

The man gestured toward the kitchen. “Lenny don't even wanna come out of her kennel to chew on ya!”

Papyrus looked at the kitchen. “She doesn't?” He asked astounded. The wiener dog did not emerge from the kitchen. Things were much worse than he feared.

The man nodded and shook a fist at the skeleton. “And I ah don'ta blame her! Now yous better give me one good reason why I don'ta go a breaking your nose and kicking you outta here." 

“I don't have a nose?” Papyrus offered. 

Giuseppe snorted and gestured to his daughter. “He thinksa he's a real funny, huh Angie?” He glared at the skeleton. “Ya know. I didn't get a chance to stoppa the bambina when she was carried out but ah maybe I can a make it up by a throwing you out at least.”

Papyrus held out his hands in an effort to placate the man. “Wait, carried? Who carried her?” Papyrus asked. Giuseppe ignored him. “Do you have a picture?"

The man eyed him suspiciously. “Maybe I-ah do and maybe I-ah don'ta. Why?”

Papyrus sighed. “I don't exactly know how to say this but, I read some bad dating advice from my handbook and because of that, well she doesn't really want anything to do with me.”

“I a don'ta blame her.”

“Her response is understandable,” Papyrus admitted, “and I don't know if she'll ever forgive me,” Giuseppe was silent and Papyrus continued. “I never wanted to hurt her. But something is not adding up from that night and I need to retrace her steps to find out what.” Giuseppe sighed. “Please tell me,” Papyrus pleaded.

“Aye,” the Italian groaned, rubbing his forehead. “Papi, yous a killing me here. Yous never acted like that before. Maybe something is uh not adding up.” Papyrus brightened considerably and the man scowled. “Itsa still yous fault.”

“I know and I'm sorry. Please?”

“Alright alright. I'ma gonna regret thisa, but ah come a thisa way. I got some security footage”

~~~~~

“Was a good lookin guy. Rude to my own bambina. He almost had to a carry Lori out she could barely walk,” Giuseppe explained he popped in a tape.

Papyrus nodded in acknowledgement. Even if there was the slightest possibility to get any answers, he was willing to take a chance.

“Ah here's uh we ago. She comes in at 7.” Giuseppe explained. Papyrus couldn't tear his sockets away.

“She's beautiful,” Papyrus gasped. Your face positively glowed wirh excitement and nervousness as you walked in with that dress that had been tattered and tear soaked by the time he actually saw you.

“Yesa she was. If you'da shown up, you woulda seen for youself.” Papyrus felt his chest twinge and remained tactfully silent. Giuseppe forwarded the footage and the skeleton watched as you were seated alone. As you were offered food several times, alone. At some point began to drink, alone. He watched as you became more frustrated and disheartened with each phone call until you finally just sat there crying. Alone.

Papyrus’ sockets began to sting and if he had a lip he would have bit it. “Ah here'sa the first tine shea gets up.” He pointed.

You stood up and walked unsteadily out the door despite Angelica and Giuseppe's protestations. “She left her wallet,” Papyrus observed.

“Not for long.” A few minutes later you came back in, sobbing. You reached the table and picked up your wallet. But you had been followed.

Papyrus jumped to his feet in an instant, knocking the chair back with a raucous clatter. “I KNOW HIM!!” He shouted.

The Italian had thankfully covered his ears. “Christ, Papi! Volume!”

“I know him!” Papyrus repeated, pointing to the screen. Giuseppe stopped forwarding the video and let it play normal speed.

“Who is he?”

“That's my... friend?” Despite his best efforts, Papyrus couldn't help but end the statement with question as he watched his “friend” seize you tightly and push you forward. You stumbled and threatened to fall but he kept yanking you after him. He almost pushed Giuseppe's daughter out of the way. Giuseppe grumbled.

“I shoulda kicked botha of youse out.” The man glanced at the skeleton and raised a bushy eyebrow. “Yous got a weird taste in friends if that's how they s treat women. How's you meet him?”

Papyrus shook his head. “He was the other human she was dating.”

“...yous saying this was a rival?”

“Oh. No, nothing like that. He and I were trying to help each other!” Papyrus insisted, “We both wanted her to be happy even if it wasn't with us.” Papyrus sighed. “I even loaned him my dating handbook.”

“Dat little book yousa bring every now and then?” The chef asked.

Papyrus nodded. “Yes. I was hoping its romantic advice would assist him as he didn't seem to be doing so well with her.”

You cried out in the video after one forceful shove and Papyrus’ fists clenched. Giuseppe whistled. “I can a see-a why hesa not doing so gooda with her.”

“I really should warn him though. The advice the book gives for the third date is terrible. I followed it exactly and well, I would hate for him to make the same mistakes I did.” Papyrus forced himself to remain calm.

“When did you-a loan him the book?”

“About a few weeks ago.”

“And when did he ah give it back?”

“Oh! The day before our third date.” Papyrus hesitated as a tense silence emerged. The Italian’s brow furrowed.

“Itsa strange, ya know?”

“I don't know.”

“Yousa doing real fine with the bambina and you giva yous answer book to someone whose also wants the bambina...and then the answers are wrong when you get the book back.”

A heavy weight settled in his throat and Papyrus couldn't speak. What the man was suggesting was impossible...right? And even if he could do it, he wouldn't do it. Because they both agreed they would rather want Lori happy than to have her for their own. And she really did seem very happy with Papyrus. At least she had. So why would even your date even think about doing this unless…

A heavy slap on the back brought him back go his current situation and he looked at Giuseppe's eyes. “He can't have-”

“He can and he probably did. A man can do some crazy things when he-ahs in love.”

“But surely I would have noticed!”

“You sure? You already reada the entire booka before that?”

“No. I hadn't gotten to the third date chapter.”

“You still got it?”

“No, I lost it when the human confronted me at Grillbys.”

“Shame. We coulda checked.”

Papyrus admitted. “I have never had this happen.”

“Wes got a word for this. Sabotage.” Papyrus sat down at the chair, stunned. What he was suggesting was unfathomable to the skeleton. This had to have been one mistake. One huge, heart aching mistake. Whether Jeremy had willfully caused the mistake or not, the damage was done. You wanted nothing to do with him and very soon, you undoubtedly would tell him to quit the class.

Papyrus looked at the human who appeared to be waiting. “Oh, did you say something?”

“Yah. What's the plan?”

“Plan?” Papyrus echoed. “Plan for what?”

“To getter back.”

The skeleton shook his head. “She wants nothing to do with me.”

“How sure are you?”

“Pretty sure.”

“100%?”

“Well no.”

“Then yous got a shot.” Giuseppe pulled Papyrus closed. “Listen, Papi, she's Italian.”

“No, she's Lori.”

“No, aye. Justa listen. Italian women are fierce and when they say they want nothing to do with a fella after something like this, most guys just leave. But really, theya want you to try harder. Show them you're serious.”

“I am serious.”

“Nah. Yous being the boy on the side who doesn't want to hurt feelings.”

“But I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.”

“Her feelings are already hurt,” Giuseppe pointed out and Papyrus quieted. “She not going take youa seriously unless you start being alpha.”

“Alpha? You mean Alphys?”

“What? No. Now yous the one making up words. No. Alpha. Dominant. Assertive! Show her you're a man uh monster who knows what he wants.”

“Well…”

“Italian women won't back down without a fight and yous gonna have to give her one if ya want a chance. And keep fighting back until she realizes she's still crazy for ya.”

Papyrus opened his mouth to protest but stopped. “How do I know she might still like me?” He finally asked.

“Ehhh. She'll let you know. She won't go outright saying it but she'll slip up and let you know.”

Papyrus stood up proudly. “Very well! I will plan my battle strategy nOW!” His sentence ended in a yelp as he felt teeth seize his leg. He looked down to see Lenny attempting to gnaw his tibia.

Giuseppe laughed. “If Lenny’s chewing on ya, youse got a shot. Now get outta here.”

~~~~~

“Hey did you sign the card?”

“Card? What card?” You asked as you walked by.

“We’re signing a thank you card for the pastries the other day.”

“Oh! Sure! Where's the card?”

“In the lab.”

You walked in to the lab, already pulling out a pen from your scrub pocket. Cheri was just signing her own name when she looked up at you. “Oh hi Hun!”

“Hey! Is that the thank you card?” You asked, pointing to the card in her hands.

“Yes it is...uh. Did you want to sign it?”

“Yeah, pass it here.” Cheri remained holding the card. She seemed uneasy.

“Are you sure you want to sign it?”

“The fuck are you- just give me the card.” You snatched it out of your hands and placed it on the table. You quickly scribbled “These were great but you're the greatest! -Lori.” You smirked at your wordplay and glanced up at Cheri who shifted nervously. “You're acting weird.”

“Yeah…”

You scratched your head. “Who brought us the pastries anyway? Was it a client?”

“His name is on the card,” was all she offered. You rolled your eyed and looked at the receiver. Your blood went cold.

The card read “Dear Papyrus,”.

You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. Papyrus had brought the pastries. And that meant he had to have come to the hospital at some point. Which could only mean. “What day did he come?” You asked hesitantly. Cheri sighed. 

“Monday. Pam had to send him away.”

“How did he react?”

“He was pretty sad but he still wanted you to have the pastries.”

Your stomach felt acidic at the thought. His behavior on Monday suddenly made a lot more sense. He had found out you banned him. And he wasn't even a client. The only reason he would have to come here was to see you. And find out he was banned. You had eaten the gift from a monster you had personally banned. You felt like a piece of shit. You were a piece of shit.

“We're going to mail that out this afternoon. You wouldn't happen to know his address would you? We only have his friend's.”

“I'll take it to him,” you found yourself immediately saying. 

“What?" 

“I mean, I'm going to have to see him tonight in class anyway,” You explained quickly. “No point wasting the postage.”

“I see. Well alright then. Thank you. Just pick it up before you leave.”

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again! See this links below me? If you haven't already, bathe them in a shower of kisses!! They need more lovin! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> [How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you)  
> [Lori Doodlel](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
> [How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i)  
> 


	86. Just a Thank You Card (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, you know I'm really scatter brained when I'm able to update the main story before I even have a chance to upload the Valentine's Day story. Christ. It will come soon, hopefully. (Something will be posted - it just might suck) lol
> 
> Anyway....Who had a good Valentine's Day? Did you eat candy? Or did you watch youtube videos and THEN eat candy? You may notice a common theme here. 
> 
> On to the story! :D

 

You fingered the card nervously as you waited outside the ballroom. “This is dumb,” you muttered to yourself. The extra time was giving you a chance to stew mentally, which never worked out for you.

You didn't want Papyrus around, right? It was only guilt that made you feel bad. Certainly not because you carried any other feelings other than loathing for him. What kind of idiot would you have to be to still have feelings for anyone who stood you up? A dumb idiot. And you were not dumb. You made smart, calculated decisions.

You spotted Jeremy's car driving up the street and before you could stop yourself, you leapt into the bushes by the entrance, scaring the shit out of a squirrel who was minding his own business. Yes, this was certainly one of the smartest, calculated decisions you made, your mind sarcastically praised. You brushed off a leaf in the card and peeked through the foliage.

Jeremy had hopped out and spotted your car. He ran over excitedly and peeked in. “Well that's not fucking weird or anything...maybe he thinks I fell asleep?” You attempted to justify it to yourself. After a minute or so, he finally walked past you and into the ballroom. You let out a sigh of relief at being undetected and made a motion to stand.

“Sans! If you make one more joke about my car, you're going to walk home!!” Shit! You quickly ducked down.

“sorry pap. didn’t mean to rev you up so much”

“Sans!!” There was no way you were coming out of the bushes now. You already had people wondering if you were psychotic after the first class and the last thing you needed was to pop out of the bushes right in front of the skelebros and practically confirm it to be the case.

Your eyes caught sight of the card and you swore. Shit. You had wanted to give this to him alone. Somehow the thought of handing the card to him public seemed rather distasteful to you and you felt you probably owed him to at least give him the card personally after eating his gift.

Maybe you could get out right after they entered and then that way they wouldn't see where you had been hiding. Yeah. That was a great idea. You didn't hear them anymore and quickly stood up, the brambles scraping your shirt and skin. “Ah fuck! Ouch!” You swore, turning to step out.

Papyrus and Sans were right there, staring at you. You appeared to have caught them off guard although Sans surprise was quickly changing into a massive grin. Your face went red with embarrassment.

“hey there, kid”

“This isn't what it looks like!’ you immediately insisted. You needed to shut your mouth now.

“oh, what is it supposed to look like?” Sans asked.

“I am absolutely not hiding here waiting for him!” You shouted, pointing to Papyrus. Goddammit, bitch, what part of shutting your mouth did you not understand? Papyrus remained stunned by your outburst as Sans' smile grew even wider.

“oh cool. cause that would be kind of weird.”

“…Human, would you like some help out?” Papyrus offered hesitantly.

“No, no, I got this.” You attempted to push your way outwards. Your foot collided with the trunk of the vegetation and you immediately face planted into the bush. “Okay, I need help,” you admitted through a mouthful of leaves.

Pap was already moving forward to help you as Sans shrugged. “whelp, guess I'll head in and let you guys take care of bushness.”

“Sans!” Papyrus and you groaned simultaneously. The smirking skeleton quickly withdrew and shuffled into the ballroom. You wrestled yourself free of the brambles and attempted to pull out bits of leaves out of your hair. You were semi successful.

“Are you alright?” Papyrus asked.

“Yeah, just uh, I don't know why I thought that was a good idea.” You both looked at each other and shifted uneasily.

Papyrus coughed and made a motion to let you walk into the ballroom first. Which even though you were supposed to dislike him immensely, you couldn’t help but find thoughtful. You almost took a step but caught yourself.

“Wait no! The card!” You exclaimed.

“The card?”

You quickly fished out the now slightly bent and damaged card and handed it meekly to Papyrus. “Uh. It looked a lot better before I was in the bushes,” you explained as he opened it. “It's a thank you card from the hospital...and me. For the pastries.”

The skeleton looked up in surprise at you and you quickly felt yourself redden and shake your head. “I mean, it's not like we couldn't just mail it to you, but I mean I could just bring it to you since we are going to be in class for the next month or so right? Right?”

“Of course,” Papyrus smiled slightly and he opened the card. You let out a sigh of relief and attempted to step backwards into the ballroom. Well that could have gone a lot better. Or a lot worse. You'd give this a C. And C’s get degrees so you passed.

“Eh, well.” You could hear the hesitancy in his voice and stopped. “I couldn't help but notice that you said that “we are going to be in class”.” Papyrus looked up at you with a strange expression. “Does that mean you do not want me to quit the class?”

Your C was turning into a D. As in dammit. You glanced around but didn’t see anyone else around. No witnesses. Good. You sighed and folded your arms. “I don't want you to quit the class.” Your eyes widened as you realized what you said.

Papyrus looked at you equally stunned. “You don't?”

Damage control!! You quickly waved your arms. “I mean, I don't want you to feel like you have to quit the class because of me!” You recovered. “I want you to stay, I mean fuck. I mean I want you to stay comfortable. And that means doing what you want. Not that I care about what you want nor do I care if you’re comfortable...Does that make sense?”

The skeleton nodded. “I understand.”

You exhaled with an awkward chuckle. “Cool, cool, uh well I guess I'll go to class. Now. Uh…bye!” You turned around and dashed inside after. Ds did not get degrees. But they stayed in school if they did enough extra credit. You entered the classroom and almost immediately found yourself accosted by Jeremy.

“Hey, I didn't see you inside! Where were you?” He asked eagerly.

“Oh, I wanted to walk around a bit,” you lied.

“Oh well next time, let me know and we can walk around together, make sure you're safe ya know. That guy is still running around!” He insisted, giving your shoulder a gentle rub.

You shot him a friendly smile. “You're sweet. But I'm a big girl now. Plus, there hasn't been an attack here so I think we're good.”

“Oh, you didn’t hear about that one off of Belvedere?”

You blinked. “Off Belvedere?” That was like 6 blocks away from the dance studio. Jeremy registered your surprise and shook his head sadly.

“Yeah, it was messed up. They found this chick walking half-naked by the bus stop. Not making any sense when the cops arrived. They were going to take her in for indecent exposure but she had those marks on her arms,” he continued, running his fingers along your wrist.

You shuddered. “Christ, that’s scary. I didn’t know that.”

“Just another reason you should hang out with me more often,” Jeremy chuckled sheepishly. He looked around and broke into a wide smile. “I see you know who decided to drop the class.”

“What?” You looked around but sure enough Papyrus was not here. Toriel was talking pleasantly with Sans while Frisk and Mettaton were assuming the most obscure and inhumanly possible poses you can imagine. But no Papyrus.

“Alright, get in line!”

Huh. You could have sworn that he wanted to continue the class. But you did tell him he could drop if he wanted too. Perhaps he wasn’t really that interested in the class after all. You felt your shoulders slump slightly. The realization that you were not going to see the skeleton twirling around in class was actually kind of a downer.

Toriel seemed to pick up on your mood change. “What's wrong my child?”

“Uh, well, I dunno. I just kinda feel bummed out,” you admitted.

“I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“I don't think so. I'm just feeling weird like why would I be sad that Pap dropped the class?”

“Oh dear. He did? Well, perhaps you have missed his company and did not realize it. Maybe you should call him?”

“Pretty sure I'm not going to see him again…” your voice trailed off as you looked at Toriel's gentle smile and relented. “Alright, well if I ever see him again, I'll talk to him.”

“That's very mature of you.”

“But, there's no way in hel-heck” You censured yourself in front of the mother, “I am going to ever see that skeleton again-!”

“GREETINGS FELLOW CLASSMATES!” A voice practically boomed. Everyone jumped. Your eyes widened.

“You're kidding.”

“IT IS I, PAPYRUS, AND I AM HERE TO MASTER THE STEP OF DANCE!”

Mettaton practically squealed and whistled as you turned out to confirm what you already knew to be true.

There was Papyrus. Really, Papyrus. As you remembered him. His chest stuck out proudly, his head held high, he was practically bouncing with excitement. He exuded confidence like a cologne and every step he took seemed deliberate and powerful. This was the Papyrus you remembered and his very entrance made your jaw drop. He caught you staring and winked at you. You shut your mouth and looked away.

Toriel placed a hand on your back. “How wonderful, it appears he decided to stay in the class. You both have plenty of time to speak now, don't you?”

Your D turned to an F. For Fuck.

~~~~~

Sans was practically wearing a shit eating grin by the time you got to him. “glad to see you two are finally getting along.”

You opened your mouth to protest but heard Toriel laugh. You saw Frisk attempting to dip his mom and it was adorable. You turned back to your partner to see Sans’ sockets linger a bit longer on Toriel.

“So you and Toriel,” you began.

“yeah?”

“...you like her?”

“She's pretty cool.” He evaded your question.

“You ever think about asking her out? You know, instead of just hiding behind her in the theater.”

Sans shot you a dirty look but kept his poker face. “heh. nah. me and tori are just friends.”

“Why?”

“It's uh complicated.”

“Is it because she's a mom?”

Sans tilted his head at you. “no.”

“Do you find her attractive?”

“uh. kid. maybe some radio silence would be good about now.” He looked uncomfortable. Good.

“I think she's sexy,” you probed.

Sans immediately went blue in the cheek bones and refused to answer.

“She’s like a milf but a gilf” you continued.

“gilf?”

“Yeah, goat I’d ilke to fu-.”

“Switch!”

Sans heard you loud and clear over the instructor and made a much stiffer exit than you had seen before. “You should ask her over.” You suggested as he walked away.

“He should ask who over?” Frisk asked loudly.

Sans shot you a pleading look but you ignored it. “Sans should ask your mom over.”

“But she is going over Saturday night!” Frisk insisted.

Toriel overheard your conversation and smiled softly at you both. “Yes, Sans is having me come over to help with a study project,” she explained. She looked quizzically at Sans. “We are still on for 7 this Saturday, correct?”

Sans hurriedly nodded. “y-yeah. yeah we are, tori. no worries.” You winked at Mr. Smooth over there and moved on to Frisk who grinned devilishly.

“You and your mom going over to their house?” You asked.

“Nah, just my mom. I’ve been invited to a sleepover. I’m going to tell mom the day before,” he informed you sneakily.

Well it looks like you weren’t the only one noticing some form of attraction between the matronly goat monster and reserved skeleton.

“Switch!”

Huh. That went really fast. You must have found yourself so preoccupied with this knowledge that time must have passed by a lot faster than you thought. The really old male human approached you and you made a note not to knock him on his ass. Instead, you were rather gracious and lady like (by your standards) and listened as he talked about how he was once nearly arrested for riding a motorized scooter while intoxicated.

The room was a lot quieter than normal. You realized Mettaton was not here. You could have sworn Mettaton had been before you but the robot was nowhere to be found. Maybe he went to the restroom.

“…and when the officer told me to put my hands behind my back, I realized I somehow picked up a little person. Guadalupe he said his name was. Good chap. Wearing nothing but a speedo.”

Did robots need to use the restroom? Even if he didn’t, he would probably go for appearances if nothing else. You wouldn’t put that past him.

“Of course, the little fella didn’t speak a lick of English so I had to explain that I hadn’t intended to traffic a little person across straight lines. I didn’t even know when he got on. Of course I figured I didn’t remember a lot due to the mickey that girl with the E supply slipped me at the club earlier.”

You wondered what type of study program Toriel would have for Sans. The guys seemed to be a nerd so what did he hope she was going to teach that he didn’t already know?

“You ever hear of that club, Delirium? Great club by the way, bitchin’ music,” the 74 year old man continued, “Guadalupe and I are going there for our second date this Wednesday. You should come visit! They’ve got a floor you can really grind your ass on.”

Hold up. What the fuck did you just hear? You blinked in confusion. “Hold up, what did you just say?”

“SWITCH!”

The old man shot you a wink and a wiggle before making his way to the next unsuspecting dancer. You shook your head. Well that was different. Your next partner approached and you knew exactly who it was without even looking up. There was no mistaking the grandeur with which he approached. You looked up to meet his sockets. “Hello, Papyrus.”

His sockets did not waver from your eyes. “Hello, Lori.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And....we have CONTACT! Huzzah! It should be all smooth sailing and butter cups from this point on, right?
> 
> Uh...Favorite valentine's day candy? Or candy in general I suppose? :D
> 
> Art inspired by this chapter:
> 
>   
> [I’m Not Waiting Here For Him!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/158844093324/um-so-this-is-the-second-time-im-making-art-for)  
>   
> Again! See these links below me? If you haven't already, bathe them in a shower of kisses!! They need more lovin! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> [How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you)  
> [Lori Doodlel](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
> [How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i)  
> 


	87. The Definition of Immaturity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Short introduction here! Started my new job with more reliable hours and with that, more reliable updates!! Victory for everyone! :D
> 
> That being said, let's see how the rest of the class goes! :D

You stared at each other, neither of you making a move. You felt your skin begin to prickle under his stare and you wondered which one of you was going to crack first. And the fact that he didn’t have eyelids definitely tilted things in his favor. An interruption soon presented itself in the form of Emilio yelling again. 

“Keep practicing for a bit! I need to speak with a student,” Emilio instructed. You both untensed and shuffled your feet. You appraised Papyrus warily. “So you’re not going to drop?” 

Papyrus grinned. “Ah, I can see you are worried.”

“Worried?”

“Yes,” he explained as you both took the dance position, “It’s only natural to be nervous with me. I am a very good dancer! Please don’t be intimidated.”

You practically choked. “Intimidated? Let me show you how intimidated I am!” And with that, you pushed forward. Only to immediately stop in your place. It was like pushing against a rock. You looked up in surprise and saw Papyrus practically gleaming at you. 

“I hope this isn’t too much for you,” he inquired. 

“Ha!” You countered. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“I would?” Papyrus asked in confusion. He hesitated. 

You managed to push him back a step and grinned in satisfaction. “Of course. Sorry to disappoint you but I’m not going down without a fight.” You asserted.

“Of course not!” Papyrus agreed brightly, “I would be sad if you didn’t.”

You could almost feel a fire burning in your chest and you couldn’t help but smile devilishly. “I could only imagine.” 

He eyed you carefully. “Are you sure you do not want to dance peacefully, like adults?”

“Fuck being an adult,” you retorted. 

“Very well, I suppose we will just dance aggressively, yet respectfully,” he mused. “That means no shoving,” He added as you pushed into him a bit more forcefully. 

You glared at him. He thought that was you shoving? That was weak sauce compared to what you were capable of as far as shoving. “I’m not shoving!” You argued.

“If you say so.” Papyrus shrugged, leading you semi-successfully through a Chaîné turn.

Your jaw dropped. “Oh my God. You don’t believe me?” You argued, managing to seize the lead back. 

“I’m just passive-aggressively suggesting that you’re wrong.”

You gaped. “Passive aggres-That’s so immature.”

“So says the human who’s shoving.”

“I’m not-! You want to see what shoving is? THIS is shoving!” You emphasized this last part by, well, shoving him. 

You instantly felt sort of bad for this action as you semi caught him guard (but not nearly as much as you had last time). He maintained his footing and gaped at you. “Now THAT’S immature!” You didn’t feel guilty anymore.

“No. That’s shoving,” you grinned smugly. 

Papyrus scoffed. “You’re awfully proud of yourself, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Heh, no one could say you weren’t honest. 

“Well, you might be proud, but at least I know the difference between the words immaturity and shoving,” he taunted. 

“What?” You were confused, to say the least.

“Your behavior was immature. Behavior cannot be described as shoving. Unless you say someone is very shoving-like in the personality.” He pressed into your knee.

You were flabbergasted and stepped back. “I wasn’t describing my behavior. I was saying what I was doing.” 

“I know what you were doing. You were being immature.”

“No. I was shoving.” With that, you pushed him back again, not nearly with the same amount of force, but enough to yank back the lead. 

“Do you dance with your mother like this?” He questioned.

“No, because I’m 26, not 6.” You felt your face heat up as he studied you again.

“If you say so.” Fucker. That warranted another push which he immediately rebuffed. He didn’t even move an inch. “Stop that.” 

“Or what?”

“It would be in your best interests not to do that again,” he warned with some authority, giving you a slightly more meaningful push back. 

Oh really?

You ignored his last warning and attempted him to force him backwards again once more. Suddenly Papyrus’ hands left your own and you lost your wall of resistance. You slipped forward awkwardly and landed roughly against his chest. His hand wrapped around your back and pressed you tightly into him. The assertiveness of this action threw you off completely and for a moment, you felt nonplussed. You could feel him take your hand back gently and your head jerked up to look at him. 

The expression on his skull immediately betrayed the assertiveness of his previous actions. His sockets watched you uncertainly. He actually appeared rather nervous. As if he wasn’t that confident in what he was doing. Your bewilderment evaporated almost immediately and your lips parted, revealing a knowing smile. “You have no idea what you’re doing,” You realized aloud.

The skeleton froze. You took this opportunity and used your free hand to grab his shoulder tightly, digging your nails into his armor. The action immediately drew his attention to his shoulder. He observed your hand briefly before returning his attention back to you. He appeared determined, focused, in charge. The quick 180 in how he carried himself made you bite your lip. He leaned into you but you were unable to back away due to his tight hold on you. Your eyes widened in alarm and he smiled knowingly. “I always know what I’m doing, even when I don’t.”

“Wait, what?” You asked. Papyrus immediately cringed.

“Nyeh, I meant to say-”

“Hey!” Emilio’s sudden shout startled you and you looked to see the dance instructor watching you both. Actually, it wasn’t just him. It appeared your exchange had been witnessed by the rest of the class as well. Again. Christ. This was turning into a habit. Papyrus and you immediately disentangled yourselves and placed a few feet between you both. 

“nice,” Sans congratulated, giving you both a thumbs up. 

Class could not have ended soon enough. 

~~~~~

“So, that was weird.” You shot a glance at Jeremy who walked with you to your car. 

“What?”

“That whole, you know, thing with you and the skeleton.”

“Oh yeah. That.” 

“You don’t have anything to say about it?”

“You’re starting to sound like a police officer,” you irritably noted.

“I mean, it’s just weird. You don’t think it’s weird?”

“I find it weird that we’re still talking about this.”

Jeremy gently placed an arm on your shoulder and pulled you to a stop in front of the bushes of the ballroom. “Listen, I’m only bringing it up because I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt again. And I really think that if you keep this up, someone’s going to get hurt.” 

You huffed. “So, what do you want me to do? You’re the one who signed us up for this speed dating dance lessons.” 

“I think you should quit.”

“Excuse me?” 

Jeremy cleared his throat. “Well, I mean, of course I would quit with you.” 

“What do you mean I should quit?”

“Well, I mean. You should consider it. It would really make things a lot easier.”

“Easier?”

“Listen-“

“Fuck easy!” You growled. “If I quit, I give that asshole exactly what he wants.”

“He doesn’t want you to quit! He wants to bang you!” 

“Ha! One afternoon doesn’t mean he wants to bang me!” You insisted. 

“One afternoon? What are you talking about?” Shit. You didn’t mean to say that. You avoided the question. “Did you guys do something?” 

Just say no. Just say nothing happened. “He fingered me and then I fucked your brother,” You swore. 

“I-uh what? I don’t even have a brother!” 

“There you go!” 

Jeremy scratched his head. “So you’re saying nothing happened?” 

“What do you think?” Who said you weren't an honest role model? ...actually, you were a terrible role model. Now THAT was honesty.

He sighed. “I think you need to go home, destress and have a cup of tea.”

“I’m going to have a beer and binge watch videos online.” 

“That works too.”

~~~~~

5 minutes ago with another pair...

Papyrus glowered irritably at Sans. “This is not the dramatic exit I was hoping for, Sans.”

Sans shrugged as he knelt on the ground. “gee pap, i’m sorry. i just thought you and i could check out this cool hiding place.” 

Sans had led Papyrus out a different route than normal from class, claiming that he needed to make an even cooler exit since his entrance had been so awesome. The taller skeleton was skeptical at first but went along with the plan. Had he known it would have led to them hiding in the bushes by the entrance of the ballroom, he probably would have protested more. But as it now stood, or rather crouched, the brothers were in the bushes. 

“This hiding place may be cool but it’s not-!” Sans waved a skeletal hand. 

“heh, listen, you can hear the crickets.”

Papyrus opened his mouth to argue but stopped as a familiar voice began to emerge from outside. “…I don’t want you to get hurt again. And I really think that if you keep this up, someone’s going to get hurt.” That was your friend, wasn’t it?

The sound of you huffing in irritation made him perk up even more. “So, what do you want me to do? You’re the one who signed us up for this speed dating dance lessons.” 

“I think you should quit.” Papyrus had to slap a hand over his teeth to stop himself from saying anything. 

“Excuse me?” You sounded surprised. That was good, wasn’t it? That meant you hadn’t been thinking about quitting. Papyrus glanced over at Sans to see if he came to the same conclusion and rolled his sockets to see his brother dozing off. 

“Well, I mean, of course I would quit with you.” 

“What do you mean I should quit?” He found it rather confusing that you did not what the phrase meant. Perhaps if you spoke with him again, he could explain the definition of quitting. And why you should definitely not do it. 

“Well, I mean. You should consider it. It would really make things a lot easier.”

“Easier?”

“Listen-“

“Fuck easy!” You growled. Papyrus inwardly rejoiced and corrected the profanity. Sans appeared to be smiling in his sleep. “If I quit, I give that asshole exactly what he wants.” Asshole? The only person you had called an asshole lately was himself. He smiled. It was nice that you were talking about him to your friend. 

“He doesn’t want you to quit! He wants to bang you!” Bang you? He was a monster with scruples. He had no intention of striking you in anyway and the fact that your friend would even suggest that he would do so irked him. 

“Ha! One afternoon doesn’t mean he wants to bang me!” Papyrus scratched his skull. Had you thought he wanted to strike you after Saturday?

“One afternoon? What are you talking about?” Papyrus felt like he was missing a very important piece to a puzzle here. “Did you guys do something?” Yes. Of course you both did. You cleaned a kitchen and solved a puzzle. But then, Papyrus wasn’t entirely sure what to call the event that happened next.

“He fingered me and then I fucked your brother.” Oh yes. Fingers were involved. It only made sense that it was called fingered. Wait, what did you say about your friend’s brother? It didn’t sound very polite. He really wished you didn’t use so much profanity. 

“I-uh what? I don’t even have a brother!” No brother? Your statement didn’t make any sense. 

“There you go!” 

Jeremy scratched his head. “So you’re saying nothing happened?” 

“What do you think?” Papyrus didn’t know what to think. He knew for a fact that the first part of your statement was true but the second part was apparently incorrect. You were well within your mental capabilities to know what is correct and incorrect. At least he was pretty sure you were. Sometimes you did act a bit strange. But no, you mostly understood the difference. Which meant you had purposely lied to your friend.

“I think you need to go home, destress and have a cup of tea.” The voices sounded further away. Both of you must be walking away at this point. Which left him alone. Well, not technically alone. 

“hey bro, so what did i miss?” 

“Shhh!” Papyrus quickly shushed his brother. 

“i think the crickets are gone, pap.”

“Sans, those were not crickets. That was the human and her friend.”

“whoops.”

Papyrus groaned. “Honestly, Sans, you really need to get more rest! You’ve been more exhausted lately. Whatever exercise you were doing two weeks ago, you really need to start doing again!”

“exercise..?” Sans looked uncomfortable for just a moment before his smile returned. “heh, maybe you’re right, bro.”

Papyrus puffed out his chest proudly. “Of course I am! Now come! We must find a dictionary.”

“dictionary?”

“Yes. I need to confirm the definition of the word “fingered.” And then I can loan it to the human so she can look up the word immature…Sans, are you okay?”

Sans caught his breath after a sudden coughing spasm. “uh, that first word might be more of an internet thing to look up bro, but can you wait on that until tori comes over?”

Papyrus sighed. “If I must, very well.” He still couldn’t understand why you had lied to your friend but that answer would have to wait until Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maturity? We haz it. Right? :)
> 
> Again! See this links below me? If you haven't already, bathe them in a shower of kisses!! They need more lovin! :D  
> [Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
> [Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
> [Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
> [Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
> [Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
> [Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
> [Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
> [Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
> [BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
> [Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
> [Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
> [Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
> [Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
> [Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
> [Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
> [Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
> [Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
> [Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
> [A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
> [I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
> [What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
> [Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
> [Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
> [NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
> [ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
> [Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
> [How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you)  
> [Lori Doodlel](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
> [How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i)  
> 


	88. Tone it down? Step it up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone, thank you so much for your patience. For those of you not following me on tumblr, my husband suffered an allergic reaction to a starbucks drink and had to go to Urgent Care. He's fine now and covered with animals but I sincerely appreciate you guys being so patient. 
> 
> We also have some new artwork by some really groovy people! The first is by underfailure (love the name btw). They have illustrated poor Papyrus getting maced in a 3 page comic! ;D They posted it to their DeviantArt account so click the links below to check them out:
> 
> [Mace Incident Page 1](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-1-668606055)   
>  [Mace Incident Page 2](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-2-668628262)   
>  [Mace Incident Page 3](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-3-668630494)
> 
> The second one is from the incredibly talented and super cool Bibi...I haven't quite figured out how to link her awesome picture, but totally go check out her tumblr to give her some loving!! [Take me to the Bonezone!](https://b-b-b-bonezoned.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Oh, and uh, you may notice the artwork is missing from the end notes. I never thought I'd say this but we hit the limit on characters. You guys have been incredibly generous with your time and skills. So from this point on, they'll be at the end of the chapter text. So make sure if you want to read end notes to remember to scroll past the artwork (after of course you click them all and give them the loving!) BUT REALLY PLEASE READ THE END NOTES FOR THIS CHAPTER! I HAVE A SPECIAL REQUEST FOR YOU GUYS!
> 
> Now, onto the chapter! Which is extra long for your extra patience.

“Victim was a young female, 27 year old. Last seen jogging near Sunset park at approximately 7:12PM before she was discovered unconscious on Belvedere at approximately 2:34 the night before. Marks on her wrists and neck in addition to the victim’s memory loss matched the MO of the Roofied Rapist whose known victim count now reaches 13 women. Again, the police have no leads and advise citizens to report any suspicious behavior.” 

Even the pop up of the cat in the bikini advertising car insurance did little to brighten up the fucked up news report on the screen. You read it again quickly. Fuck, Jeremy was right. Sorta. No one knew if that woman had been attacked near Belvedere or just dumped there. It was still horrifying either way. The thought of having to be accompanied everywhere you went after sundown did not appeal in the slightest to you, yet Jeremy had hinted at appointing himself your personal bodyguard at the rate this was going. 

Your phone rang. You lifted it up. Speak of the devil. You answered. “Hey, Jeremy.”

“Hey, you. You’re up late.”

“I could say the same for you,” you yawned, glancing at the time. It was 2:00am on Friday morning. You had work in about 7 hours and dance class afterwards. You were going to drink the shit out of all the coffee you could get your hands on. 

You could hear him yawn briefly. “You see that news report?” 

You nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. They found that chick off Belvedere.” 

“Uh, no, I mean about the protestor fundraiser thing.”

Christ, you were out of it socially. “Huh? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You haven’t heard?”

“Clearly not.” 

He sighed on the other end. “Apparently the Anti Monster Group has been trying to jumpstart money for some type of documentary about how ever since Monsters came to the surface, crime has gone up or something like that.” 

You found the website and clicked. The words “The Truth About Monsters-What Our Government Wants to Hide!” were proudly emblazoned at the top of the webpage. You continued skimming the paragraph below the irritating title. You saw they hoped to raise $35,000 to film a documentary exposing the “horrors of Monsterkind.” You grumbled darkly under your breath. They had raised $110,000. 

“This is a bunch of bullshit.” 

“Agreed. Hey, you want to be in my Pro Monster documentary?” 

You chuckled. “I’m not that great on camera. You got an extra hundred thousand you can spare for a vid?” 

A hearty tired laugh broke out from the other line. “Easily, baby. Think about it. We could shoot the whole thing at my place in one afternoon. You know, for educational purposes.”

You scoffed. Yeah sure, educational purposes. You bit your tongue for now. No pointing in sassing your date at the moment. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“But…in the mean time. Just, be careful, alright? I don’t want a protestor getting the wrong idea.” 

You scratched your head. “Wrong idea?” 

“Just, be careful. “ 

You were too tired to press any further. “Yeah, you too. See you tonight?”

“And Saturday?”

“And Saturday.”

“Good night, beautiful.”

“Good night, stud.” 

You hung up the phone and yawned. You glared at the website before closing it as well. All that was left was to email your parents. Until they got back from their trip, your parents were blissfully out of the loop as far as current events went. You opened up the email and began to write.

“Hey guys, hope it’s going okay. Things are going to shit here. They haven’t caught that creep yet who’s going around getting girls. I’ve been pretty careful so far. Anti Monster Group is still here and they are still assholes. They’re going to film a documentary about how Monsters suck. Jeremy thinks we should film a counter documentary in his apartment…which honestly sounds like a sex thing. Lol. On a side note, I bet I probably would be able to speak better on camera than I did in high school. Look forward to hearing from you soon.”

~~~~~

“You assaulted him?” 

“No! I pushed him.”

“See, she didn’t assault him, she just shoved him.”

“Oh my God. No, Pam. No.” 

You were stuck up front, trying to file a chart just to be helpful and somehow you had gotten roped into a discussion of your dance styles. None of which you had volunteered any information about to them. Which only meant the information once again was leaked by your ex “dating coach.” 

Pam beamed at you proudly. “Yes, girls finish things. And start them too it seems.”

Cheri on the other hand looked absolutely distraught. “Maybe, you should calm down for tonight. No need to get known as the girl who hulked out.” You stuck out your tongue like a mature adult. “Besides, he might think you’re still interested in him.” You brought that tongue back in immediately.

“The fuck?”

“Just saying. So tone it down?”

You sighed. Cheri had a point. Sorta. “I’ll give it a shot,” you admitted begrudgingly.

~~~~~

The bartender stared at the patron sitting in front of him. “You want me to explain the bases? Are you sure you don’t want to wait for your friend on Saturday?”

The skeleton shook his head. “I considered it but I’m sure my brother may have some questions for her as well. It would hardly be fair for me to monopolize all her time when he needs information as well. 

“That’s, uh, decent of you.” It wasn’t too crazy here at Joe’s Sport Grill. The Monster in front of him raised a couple of eyebrows when he walked in, especially when he ordered a ginger ale, but once the game started, no one paid him a second glance. The bartender eyed the rest of his customers but they seemed too preoccupied with their beer and the actual game of baseball on the television that he did not worry about being overheard. “Right, uh, so let’s start with first base.”

“Oh! Starting from the beginning? Yes, let's establish the building blocks” 

The man cleared his throat. “Alright, uh, so bases refer to levels of intimacy between a couple. First base is kissing. That includes open mouth kissing and French kissing.”

“French kissing?”

“Kissing with tongues.”

“…That sounds rather unsanitary.”

The bartender shrugged. “Everyone’s got different tastes. But yeah, that’s the gist of the first base. Now the second base, that means touching above the waist like the chest, breasts and uh nipples.” 

Papyrus felt himself redden. “Ah. I see. That make a lot more sense.” He pulled out his phone sheepishly. Maybe he should change your contact name. Even if it was accurate. 

The bartender cleared his throat. “Third base is touching below the waist.”

“Like the legs?”

“More like between the legs. With the vagina and penis.” 

“I-ah, alright. I am familiar with those terms.” Should he change your name again?

“Oh! Good. Good. And the last base is called a home base. And that’s when you actually have sex.” 

The skeleton slammed his hands down on the bar. “HA! I KNOW WHAT SEX IS!” This earned a couple of strange looks and a comment or two and the bartender buried his head into his hand. Papyrus lowered his voice. “Ah, Sorry about that.” 

“No, uh, actually this is going way better than when I had the talk with my son, actually,” he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It is?”

He chuckled. “Yes, he really freaked out that we had this talk with him. We even had to cancel family game night.” 

“Ah. I could see how it could be a bit overwhelming. Thankfully, I am very mature and cool about these things.” 

The bartender nodded and proceeded to clean another glass. “However you do it, you got to take it nice and slow.” Slow? Papyrus tapped his chin thoughtfully. He hadn’t thought of it like that. Perhaps you could mistake his burst of confidence as overbearing and rushed. He certainly hadn’t intended it as so. The man shrugged. “Find out what your partner likes. Don’t overwhelm them. It’s like what they say, slow and steady wins the race.”

“I will have to try that strategy." Papyrus glanced the time and quickly paid for his beverage. "Thank you again for your time! I should get going so I can pick up my brother. Otherwise I'm worried he won't show.” 

"Good luck!" 

~~~~~  
Later that night...

“Oh yo hoo! Darling, there you are!” You stopped walking at the modulated voice and turned to see Mettaton leaning against the right side of the building. He waved excitedly at you. 

Ignoring him would only lead to more trouble so you walked over to him. “What do you want?”

“Really? That’s how you’re going to greet your dating coach?” 

You groaned. Remember Cheri’s words of wisdom. Tone down the aggression a bit. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Hi, Mettaton. How are you?” 

Mettaton smiled. “That’s much better. I am well, but I’m here to give you some advice.”

“Advice?” 

He slipped a hand around your shoulders and drew you close to his perfectly shaped purple lips. You couldn’t help but feel your face heat up and honestly you were sure if it was from his robotic body or his really gorgeous looks. “I’m really going to have to ask you to tone it down a bit with your dancing.” Your eyes widened. 

“Excuse me?” 

Mettaton released you and sighed dramatically. “Yes, dear. I’m afraid you’re getting a bit too heated when you dance.” You bristled but couldn’t think what to say.

“What?”

Mettaton held a hand to his chest defensively. “Now I’m definitely all for the strong female lead!” He insisted, forcing you to stand upright with a swift slap to your rear. “Independent! Strong! A true fighter!”

“Ah! Fuck! Don’t slap me there!” You attempted to smack the robot back but he nimbly dodged. 

“Charismatic too!” He added. 

“I’ll show you fucking charismatic!” You swore. 

“I’m sure you will,” Mettaton agreed. “However, you’re becoming rather, let’s say, combative in your style of dancing. Especially with our dear Papyrus.” You fumed. “I would appreciate it if you toned it down a bit with our skeletal friend here.”

“Tone it down?” 

“Yes. Perhaps act more demure. Less…aggressive.” Mettaton smiled coyly, “After all, I still intend to make this a family friendly show. Perhaps try to model your lady like behavior after yours truly.” Mettaton made a motion to walk away but suddenly put a calculated finger to his chin. “Oh dear, well I hope you aren’t too forceful with Papyrus. He might be a large Monster but he’s very gentle and you acting so suggestive is sure to unnerve him.”

You felt a raging fire burn angrily in your chest at the suave Monster host’s words. Cheri’s words of wisdom not only went out the window but they detonated on impact. “Oh!” You growled, “I’ll show you who’s the demurest fucking lady around here! I’ll be as aggressive as I want to be.” You stomped off but quickly turned back. “So nyeh! I mean nyah!” You stuck out your tongue and marched into the dance studio. 

Mettaton smiled as you walked away. “Sometimes, it’s so hard to be this good at my job.” 

~~~~~

“Papyrus! Sans!” Frisk waved at the skeleton brothers as they strolled towards the entrance of the Sunset Ballroom. 

“hiya kid,” Sans greeted, “whatcha up to?” 

“Nothing much!”

Toriel smiled. “Frisk wanted to catch Papyrus before we started class.” 

“Ah! I am not easily caught, but for a friend, I most certainly can be detained for a few!” Papyrus exclaimed, walking over to the left side of the building where the human child waited patiently. 

“I just wanted to say I really liked how you danced with Lori on Wednesday.” 

Papyrus chuckled. “Well, I admit my dancing style is formidable. However, I’ve been having reconsidering my tactics and I think a slower, gentler approach would be appropriate.”

Sans chuckled. “alright, bro, if you think so.”

Papyrus stiffened. “What do you mean if I think so?” 

Frisk winked at Sans. “It’s just that…nah.” Toriel watched Sans and Frisk curiously. 

Papyrus turned toward the human now. “What?”

“i never thought my bro would take the easy path.” 

“E-easy path?! No, it’s not that! It's just at a lesser speed!” 

Frisk shrugged. “I dunno, it does seem like you’re taking the easy path by holding back.” 

Papyrus defended himself. “It’s not holding back, it’s called dancing strategically!” 

“that sounds like a fancy way of saying the easy way.”

“Sans!” Toriel scolded. “If Papyrus wants to be polite in his dancing, then you shouldn’t make fun of him.” 

“Yeah!” Papyrus argued. 

“nah, i’m not making fun of him.” Sans put a hand on Papyrus’ shoulder and looked at his brother proudly. “i’m just so glad you’re going to try taking things my way for a bit.” 

“YOUR way?” He asked horrified. 

“yep. maybe you’ll even try sleeping in.”

Papyrus drew away from Sans’ hand as if it was the most repulsive being on the planet. Or Jerry. Whichever was more repulsive. So probably Jerry. “You’re joking.”

“trust me, all it takes is one step. it starts with the easy way, a couple of sips of tomato sauce here and there; next thing you know, you’ll be a couch potato with your bro.” 

Papyrus almost shrieked. “How horrifying!” The skeleton turned desperately to Frisk. “Tell me he’s joking!” 

Frisk put a finger to his chin. “I dunno. It does seem like your shoulders are starting to slouch a bit.” Papyrus’ jaw practically unhinged. “Maybe after tonight, she will be so blown away by your transformation, she’ll buy you a blue hoody.” 

Papyrus stomped his foot down defiantly. “Nyeh heh heh!! Never! The human shall not be blown away by a transformation into idleness!! I will blow her away with sheer determination and skill!” He turned about face and began to walk away. “Watch and be amazed! You will see how a true pro does it!” 

“can’t wait pap,” Sans called after him as Frisk gave him a discreet high five.

Toriel huffed. “I hope you boys are proud of yourself. I really do hope they both don’t go overboard with this”

~~~~~

Jeremy practically had to throw himself at you before you noticed him. “Hey! Hey!” 

“What’s up, Jer Bear?” He seemed really excited about something. Wonder what it was? 

“Emilio is grading us today.” 

Your blood ran cold as flashbacks of tests and exams briefly flickered over your face. But then you remembered you were technically an adult and GPAs no longer applied to you. Heheheh. Still, the thought that you were going to be graded did alarm you somewhat. “What do you mean he’s grading us?” 

“He just said he’s going to be grading us.”

“We’re only two weeks in. Wouldn’t it make sense to grade us at the end?” You asked.

“Maybe he’s canceling class early due to the protestor?”

“Protestor? What protestor?” You hadn’t seen any protestor. 

Jeremy sighed. “There was an old guy out there about 40 minutes ago. He was being kind of a dick so I asked him to leave.” Ah. Well that explained why you didn’t see him. You spotted Emilio who had pulled out an clipboard and was tapping it irritably. Well, wherever the protestor was now, your instructor did not seemed that concerned so you relaxed. 

“That was nice of – wait, why the fuck were you here 40 minutes early?” You quizzed.

“Got off work early, got bored,” Jeremy shrugged. 

“Teacher’s pet,” you teased. 

“I’ll be whatever he wants if it gets me an A,” he winked. 

“Bow chicka wow wow,” You suggested.

“Shut up.”

“Alright, get in line.” Women and men separated once more and you waved good bye to your friend. Emilio stood in front of everyone, a slight smile on his taut face. “Today, we’re going to be doing something a little bit differently. For this class, you’re all going to be having a little competition with each other.” 

Toriel mused. “A competition? I hope it’s not too rough.”

“I’m going to be looking at how you pose, how you carry yourself and how well you complement your partners,” the teacher continued as if he was reading off a list. He smirked. “At the end, everyone will have their results.” 

“This sounds serious,” you snickered. 

You practically jumped as Emilio’s voice spoke up behind you. “I assure you, it’s very serious.” 

Serious or not, you weren’t going to let some manical professor unnerve you more than he already did. You bided your time patiently until the taller skeleton soon walked in your direction. You eyed Papyrus as he approached. “Back again for more?” You gloated. 

“Yes. I also see you are back for more. And by more, I mean dancing. And nothing else.”

“Uh...yes?” You cocked your head at him, confused by his response. Your hesitancy afforded him the opportunity to quickly assume the dance position and lead you backwards. 

“Going right for it, I see,” you noted as you recovered your balance and resisted any more backwards steps. 

“Yes. I certainly don't want to lolly gag about it,” Papyrus informed you fervently. 

“Well don't expect to be all demure and just take it lying down.”

“Of course not. You probably wouldn't be able to dance so well if you were lying down.”

You spotted Mettaton shooting an over the top shaking finger at you and you returned your attention to the skeleton. Aggressive wasn't working, time to go with suggestive. You closed the gap between you both with a playful smile. “I bet you would like it if I was lying down, huh?”

Your actions startled Papyrus and now it was your turn to advance. “Wh-what?” He gulped. 

You batted your eyelashes. “I bet you'd like nothing more to watch me call your name in defeat, Papyrus,” you enunciated his name breathily close to his skull. He shivered. You drew away your hand that was had been holding his and pressed it against his chest, pushing him even further. “Just let me win,” you cooed. 

Something clicked inside of Papyrus and he looked up at you harshly. The expression change caught you off guard, allowing him to grasp your wandering hand and roughly pull it back into position. You gasped as he pinned you even tighter against himself and leaned over you. “I will not give up,” he spoke to you lowly. Your eyes narrowed at his own sockets and were about to say something else. 

“Switch!” Whatever spell you were both under shattered as Emilio's voice shouted loudly nearby.  
He shook his head and you quickly withdrew your hands to fix your hair which had become slightly frazzled. He smiled at sheepishly at you and you opened your mouth to say anything clever. Nothing came. You turned around and walked away to your next partner feeling your cheeks hot with blushing.

~~~~~

Class ended on a strained note. Everyone was on edge, well except for Frisk and Mettaton. They seemed to practically relish in the dramatic tension. 

“Alright everyone listen up, I've put your results on the board here. Everyone go read them. Or not. The results aren't changing and you only have yourselves to blame.”

You chuckled and started to walk for the door. Like you gave a fuck what type of grade you got. 

“What type of grade is Chelsea?” You heard a man ask. You stopped dead in your tracks. 

“Uh, I'm Chelsea?” A woman responded. You turned around carefully as you spotted the woman approach the first guy. “Are you Matthew?”

Oh no. Oh my god. No. He had graded you all and matched you on results. You darted back to the now very energetic crowd that had gathered in front of the sheet of paper. 

“Hey mom, you're my partner,” Frisk exclaimed, giving his mom a very tight hug. 

“I’m very glad. I'm sure you will do very well.”

Frisk gave Sans a quick pat. “Don’t be too jealous, Sans. Sans?”

The shorter skeleton was rooted to the spot, a haunted look in his sockets. “this has got to be a joke,” he repeated to himself. 

“Sans, who are you paired with?” Toriel asked. 

The answer came in the form of Sans nearly getting tackled by an enthusiastic Mettaton. “Oh, Sansy, I'm absolutely delighted. You and me, lighting up the dance floor. I can't think of anything more stunning.” He purred, running a hand down the length of his…jacket.

Oh. 

Oh wow. 

No. Sans looked anything but delighted and desperately tried to wiggle out of the star’s literal iron grip. Toriel did her best to smother her laughter. You made eye contact with Jeremy who had just finished scanning the list. He looked upset. “Uh Jer, are you and I…?” You asked.

“No.” He spat. He looked pretty upset. 

“Then who am I with?” You asked, finally managing to squeeze past the last couple to reach the list. You dragged your finger down on the list.

Frisk – Toriel 

Mettaton – Sans 

Jeremy – Jasmine 

You spotted your name. You ran your finger to it until it collided with Papyrus’ glove. “Hey move your finger,” you grumbled as his finger remained pointed to the paper. 

“But my name is here.” He protested. 

“Well mine is too!” You argued.

Papyrus scoffed. “ Your name cannot be on my name unless…”

You both stopped talking. Slowly you removed your fingers and stared. 

Lori – Papyrus 

“Oh. Uh. Wow, this is awkward,” Papyrus observed. 

You couldn't agree more. Paired with your ex. You shifted your feet. Well, this was pretty bad. But hey, maybe it wasn’t going to be too odd. Some stinted conversation and awkward tension but you could possibly do this. 

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Emilio pushed past you both and scribbled furiously on the list. After a moment or so, he pulled away with a cackle. 

Frisk – Toriel : Waltz

Mettaton – Sans : Freestyle

Jeremy – Jasmine : American Tango

Lori – Papyrus: Argentine Tango

“Well fuck,” you finally managed.

++++++ARTWORK++++++  
[Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
[Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
[Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
[Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
[Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
[Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
[Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
[Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
[BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
[Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
[Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
[Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
[Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
[Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
[Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
[Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
[Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
[Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
[Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
[Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
[A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
[I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
[What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
[Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
[Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
[NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
[ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
[Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
[How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you)  
[Lori Doodlel](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
[How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i)  
[Mace Incident Page 1](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-1-668606055)  
[Mace Incident Page 2](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-2-668628262)  
[Mace Incident Page 3](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-3-668630494)  
[](https://b-b-b-bonezoned.tumblr.com/)  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnn!!!!
> 
> Alright, so yes, we went there. But now...I'm going to need your guys' help. I not only want your feedback from this chapter, but if anyone has any dance training/knowledge, please let me know! I'm limited in my knowledge of formal dance but I'd like to be as accurate as I can to certain dance steps and styles. I don't care how much you know, but trust me it's more than me so please if I can bug you, let me know! :D


	89. Getting the D-tails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just fucking cranked this chapter out and I hope you guys enjoy the hell out of it. It's a bit...weird. :D

“Hello grumpy pants!” Your attention flickered over to Kaylie who stood in the doorway of her home. 

“Hey Kaylie, that obvious huh?”

“Sort of. You were scowling.”

You sighed and stopped trying to unlock your house. The entire drive back from the dance practice had been filled with you alternating between silently fuming and outright yelling at the radio every time it played anything even remotely romantic in nature. “I’ve been partnered up with Papyrus in our dance class.” 

Kaylie raised her eyebrows. “Really? Wow. That’s uh, unfortunate?”

“Yes. This a bad thing,” You assured her. You heard louder voices than normal coming from next door and you glanced behind her. Did she have company? That wasn’t terribly often. “You got some people over?” You asked. 

“Family from Utah,” she answered with a strained smile. 

“Heh, sucks to be you.” Poor bastard. 

“Actually, that brings up why I’m here. You wouldn’t happen to be bringing over, uh, a guy over tomorrow for…personal reasons?” She asked awkwardly.

You snickered. “You mean, am I going to bang a dude tomorrow night?”

“Yes.”

You shook your head, still chuckling. “Nah. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t. I don’t have any condoms and there’s no way I’d be bumping uglies with a guy without one.” It was true. You hadn’t bought condoms for a long time. And Sans didn’t seem to possess the ability to make you pregnant/give you an STD as far as you knew. So, you saved your money and bought guacamole instead. Because guacamole was delicious.

Kaylie made a face. “Alright, didn’t need to know that…”

“You have two kids, Kaylie. You cannot judge,” you reminded her. 

“Touché, well uh, if anything changes, please let me know. Our walls aren’t the thickest and the in laws are over and-”

“Say no more, no wild orgies,” You promised, solemnly placing a hand over your chest. 

“Thank you, you’re awesome.” 

“Yes, yes I am.” 

On that subtle note, she opened her door and returned to her home. You could hear her television call out "Says date but I'd love an ice pack!" before it was muffled by her door. You entered your apartment and dropped off your gear. You rubbed your head irritably and opened your email. A response from your parents. That was a silver lining on an otherwise crap day. 

“Hey, hun. Well, I hope when they do catch that guy they castrate him and make him eat his testicles. Go Old Testament on his ass. And we were really hoping that this anti monster crap would peter out but I guess not. On a side note, you should consider a documentary. I don’t know if you knew this, but your father and I were in a documentary in the 70s. Although…maybe not do a sex one with Jeremy. A sex one is fine and can send a powerful message but, just not with him. I still think he’s gay. Not that that’s a problem, just, that would be weird. Anyway, feel free to email us anytime if you need to vent. Love, mom.” 

“Thanks, mom,” you chuckled. No one could say your parents weren’t supportive. You closed your laptop and paused. What were you thinking about again? Oh right. 

“What the hell is Argentinian Tango?” You muttered, opening your laptop again. You knew what Tango was. The guy carried a rose and it was all very formal and sexy…but what the fuck was Argentinian tango? To the Internet! A few clicks and scrolls brought you to a textbook that had been scanned into the internet and you clicked on the link curiously. 

“The Argentine tango is a dance of full partnership, in which both members of the partnership, most commonly referred to as the couple, must contribute 100 percent of their skills, talents and emotions and assume 100 percent of responsibility.”(1)

Partnership? Couple? Skills? Responsibility? “This dance teacher must be out of his fucking mind.” You and Papyrus were certainly not even close to being partners, definitely not a couple, your own skills were vastly limited and as far as responsibility went, well you didn’t owe him a damn thing. So there. You shut the laptop irritably. 

~~~~~ 

You’d think by the next day you would have cooled down a bit but apparently that wasn’t the case. You continued to rant as you flung clothing out of your closet and drawers, finally settling on a really short cocktail dress. You swore as you set out your make up and perfume. Hell, even your shoes were viciously placed by the front door, ready to be slipped on the minute Jeremy came to the door. Cause even if you were mad, you still knew there was no way in hell you were going to walk on those any longer than you needed to. 

You paced your now dirty bedroom and finally sat down sullenly running your hands through your hair. Why did this still continue to upset you? A dance instructor couldn’t make you do anything. You were an adult. You could leave the class if you wanted. The idea of quitting though left a bad taste in your mouth and you let your arms fall dejectedly to your lap. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” You blurted out. 

Well, Jeremy would be here in about an hour or so, you should probably start getting ready. You slipped off your pajama pants and paused as your fingers brushed against your sex. You know, it had been a while since you gave yourself some TLC. “Too damn long,” you muttered. You glanced at the alarm clock. You had an hour, that was enough time. 

You removed the rest of your bed pants and flopped yourself backwards on the bed. You ran your fingers along your sex. You expected a pleasurable sensation to start any minute now as you palmed yourself. 

It didn’t. 

Okay, maybe you didn’t masturbate too often, but dammit, didn’t literature and television show that just touching yourself would send you into a shuddering sopping mess of a woman? Okay, yeah, maybe that felt a little good when you put some pressure there but uh…you, you were going to need some help. You hopped off the bed and yanked open your nightstand’s single drawer. You pawed around the clutter until you found what you were looking for. You yanked out a vibrator and grinned triumphantly. “This’ll do it!” You flicked it on eagerly.

Nothing happened. You scowled and unscrewed it. Shit, out of batteries. It took…D batteries? Why the fuck did it take D batteries? Was it a joke about giving the D to someone? You probably laughed at the time you bought it but now was not the time for that shit. You dropped the useless sex tool to the side of the bed and immediately began scavenging. 

Toaster? No. TV Remote? No. Wireless mouse? No. Toaster? Wait you checked that already. And toasters aren’t battery powered anyway, you nimrod. You scampered stupidly around the apartment. Nothing. Finally, a glance under the couch yielded a flash light. You unscrewed the base of it and out popped two D batteries. Perfect. 

Your half naked ass darted back to the bedroom and belly flopped onto your bed. You quickly put the batteries into the vibrator and switched it on. It vibrated pleasantly in your hand. Ooh. It had different settings. You’d have to try those out. After all you had…17 minutes?! You bolted out of bed. “What the fuck?! How did-shit!” You tossed the toy back in your night stand and quickly finished stripping the rest of your clothes. You grabbed the lacy panties and ran into the bathroom, now even more pent up than before. 

Fuck.

~~~~~

The knock on the door told you it was go time and you quickly walked to the front door. You pulled down your dress. This dress was much shorter than you liked but if the theme was really cocktail then it was appropriate. You grabbed your clutch purse and stashed your mini phone book inside. Another knock and you scowled and opened the door.

A large bouquet of red roses stood in front of your door. A pair of legs sprouted from the bottom. “Hello there, beautiful!!” The roses greeted.

“Jeremy? Are you in there?” You asked astounded. 

The flowers walked in and you followed them to your sink. “Hey where's your vase?”

“I don't have a vase.” You admitted.

“Really? Remind me to remind you to buy you one. What do you have?”

You rifled through your cupboards. “I have this plastic tea pitcher,” you offered. 

Jeremy placed the flowers in the pathetic pitcher and made a face. “Well this looks terrible.”

You shrugged. “The flowers are very pretty though.”

“Yeah I guess.” Jeremy looked you up and down and his smile widened. “Say! You actually look really good.”

“I do clean up pretty well,” you chuckled, “You look pretty good too for a nerd.” Jeremy beamed and twirled in his dress shirt and pants. 

“I'm fabulous!” he bragged. 

“Christ, don’t bring Mettaton into this right now!” You tugged his sleeve as he continued to model. You locked the door and hopped into his car. “I just want one evening where I don’t have to hear his voice!”

Jeremy laughed good naturedly. “Man, I can’t believe Sans got paired with Mettaton. I for sure thought they were going to pair him with that kid.”

“Or Papyrus!” You added. You rubbed your temples. “Christ, me and Pap…well, what can you do?”

“Welllll,” he drawled, “you COULD quit.”

You resisted the urge to prop your feet on the dashboard, knowing you would accidentally flash opposing traffic if you did. “Pffft, yeah no.”

He shrugged. “Maybe you’ll think differently once he makes a move on you.”

You eyed him warily. “What do you mean by that?”

Your date held up a hand. “You saw how he’s acting. Back to normal, everything’s awesome, that sort of thing. You getting paired with him was probably just the extra cream in his coffee.”

“Okay, uh, gross?”

Jeremy made a face. “Uh, yeah, that analogy didn’t come out right.”

“No, it did not.”

He shook his head. “But what I’m saying is, you got to watch out for him. Now, more than ever. He’s going to find any excuse to get you back with him and in his bed.”

You batted your eyelids mischievously at him, “Well he does have a racecar bed. That’s pretty hot.”

“C’mon, Lori, seriously,” he exclaimed, clearly exasperated. “I care about you! I don’t want some douche coming up with some excuse to trick you and put his hands all over you!” 

You sighed. “Man, I think you clearly overestimate the capability of his character to scheme like that.”

Jeremy snorted. “Thar be some fancy words you used there, miss,” he teased in his best pirate voice.

You responded in kind, “Yar, I be edumacated, yessir. But, yar no piratey Papyrus will be putting his skeletal hands on this here booty!” 

There was some silence between you both before Jeremy coughed. “Did we just speak like pirates?”

“Uh huh.”

“You know what this means?”

“What?”

“I need to go get a boat shaped bed now!” He chortled.

You threw back your head and laughed. “Oh my God! Don’t do that! Oh man!”

“I’ll make you my first mate!”

You had to quickly wipe the tears that formed at the corner of your eyes before it smudged your mascara. “So, Captain, what type of party is this?” You asked as you adjusted your seatbelt. 

He relaxed and changed lanes. “Well, it’s kind of a pre-party thing actually. Couple of important people are going to be there. Going to have samples of someone’s new sparkling wine series along with some of other types of wine. Either you have to be invited or know someone. And since you know me and I'm working tonight, you can come.”

“Wait, wait, you're working?” You asked, astounded. “I thought this was a date.”

“It absolutely is.”

“Then how come you're working?”

“Well, you know how it is.” He shrugged. 

You leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms. “Alright, I guess so.” 

“Ah, don't frown! I'll check on you often.” The thought of standing around trying to make conversation with apparently some members or upper class society alone seemed daunting but you forced a smile for your date's sake. He probably could have brought someone else so it was nice that he thought of you. 

“Thanks! I'll behave myself.”

You were getting close and Jeremy was pulling into a parking spot. You went to open your door. “Oh!” Jeremy exclaimed, “I have a huge favor to ask!”

“What is it?”

He suddenly looked very shy. “So, uh, I kinda told the guys that you were my girlfriend.”

“What?!”

Jeremy rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah they kept hassling me to ask out a lot of the women who come in and I had to get them off my back somehow.” He looked rather hurt. “You made it sound like it would be really bad to be in a relationship with me.”

“Oh, no no,” you quickly explained, “you just caught me by surprise. I'm sure I would very much enjoy being your girlfriend.” You insisted, placating your now fake boyfriend and trying to pull open the door. It was locked. 

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate it...say, uh, can I kiss you?” Whatever expression you had on your face at the question prompted him to continue. “You know, to make our fake relationship more believable?”

“Oh, uh yeah. That makes sense.” You squirmed uncomfortably in your car seat as you realized he hadn't unlocked the door yet. He watched you eagerly. “Now?”

“Yes! Actually, wait, wait.” He reached into his pockets and pulled out a cellphone. 

“You want to take a photo?” You asked skeptically as he switched it to the front view camera. 

“Uh, is it okay? I’ll just have it for tonight to make the story seem even more realistic.” 

You shrugged. There were probably many photos out there of you kissing various boyfriends and dates. What was one more? And he said he would delete it, so it didn’t seem like it would do any harm. You nodded and he grinned ecstatically at you. “So, are we going to?” 

“Oh, yeah totally!” 

“Oh, okay. Wasn't sure. You're just kind of staring at me like a weirdo,” You sniggered. 

“I am a weirdo. Now kiss me!” He declared, showing his tongue. You smiled at the joke and kissed him to the snap of the camera.

++++++ARTWORK++++++  
[Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
[Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
[Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
[Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
[Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
[Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
[Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
[Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
[BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
[Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
[Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
[Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
[Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
[Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
[Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
[Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
[Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
[Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
[Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
[Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
[A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
[I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
[What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
[Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
[Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
[NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
[ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
[Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
[How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you)  
[Lori Doodlel](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
[How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i)  
[Mace Incident Page 1](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-1-668606055)  
[Mace Incident Page 2](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-2-668628262)  
[Mace Incident Page 3](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-3-668630494)  
[](https://b-b-b-bonezoned.tumblr.com/)  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally the date ends on a kiss, but uh dating start?
> 
> Maybe he'll give her the D? ^_^; (Yes, the chapter title sucks. Come up with a better one and I'll change it)
> 
> (1) [You didn't think I would cite this did you? I did actual fucking research!](https://books.google.com/books?id=uyet_cMrfFYC&pg=PA71&lpg=PA71&dq=The+Argentine+tango+is+a+dance+of+full+partnership,+in+which+both+members+of+the+partnership,+most+commonly+referred+to+as+the+couple,+must+contribute+100+percent+of+their+skills,+talents+and+emotions+and+assume+100+percent+of+responsibility.&source=bl&ots=WPDe6JhnKG&sig=j8xnQGwCD_SgoHtZdtmbmMRJxYo&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjfmO-4geTSAhVV4WMKHfhYCAkQ6AEIHDAA#v=onepage&q&f=false)  
> 


	90. Let's Talk about Sex Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, let's get into the meaty part of the date...and the start of a part that a lot of you have been cringefully hoping for. 
> 
> :3
> 
> ~~~~~ = POV/scene change

“Do you sell hard liquor here? Just the wine samples today? ...Uh, please get me a glass if whatever the strongest you have.” You waited as they served you a glass and you immediately chugged it like an alcoholic finding rum on the desert.

The tongue was not a joke. You put your head in your hands at this revelation. “That wasn't a kiss. It was a bath,” you bemoaned. You still couldn't help but wipe at your nose and chin where his reptile tongue had lapped. “How could someone so fucking hot kiss so badly?!” It's like he stopped kissing right after high school and this was the result of nearly a 10-year dry spell.

You had entered together and shook hands with a few people whose names you didn't remember anymore. And then you were alone. Without a phone to play games on. Leaving you to awkwardly sit around without a phone to make it look like you had things to do. He told you he would bring you some snacks but so far, he was not forthcoming with any delicious bar food. Bummer.

Making the most out of a best situation, you took in your surroundings. It was pretty. Much less crowded than any bar you had been to as of late. There were pictures of rolling landscapes and grapes adorning the walls, a couple of wine barrels tastefully scattered around the restaurant. People in fancy outfits stood or sat, chatting about things you had no idea about.

“Hey, honey bunch, how's it going?” You turned to see Jeremy standing next to you, placing an arm around your back. Relief flooded you at the familiar sight of your friend.

“Good, good. Just enjoying the wine.” You leaned into his arm and put on your best adoring eyes. Which was made much easier by the addition of wine.

He leaned in and gave you a peck on the cheek. “Looks like you need more. Ben, would you mind?” The bartender nodded and poured you another glass.

“Ooh this one is sparkly,” you marveled childishly.

“You’re cute,” Jeremy teased kissing your cheek again and you blushed.

“Thanks, Jer Bear.”

“Who’s got the best boyfriend in the world?”

“I do! Especially if he keeps bringing me liquor,” you giggled.

“Oh my God. It’s the Nerd Herd!” A voice called out behind you. You blinked in confusion and looked around. Standing behind you was a tall, blonde woman. Everything about her screamed upper class, to the bejeweled bracelets hanging off her wrists to the oversized designer sunglasses resting on top of long golden curls. The words YOLO were proudly emblazoned on a dress that cost more than your apartment and showed almost as much as your bathing suit. Her lips were curled up into a plastic smile that immediately put you on edge and you shuddered. There was something familiar about this socialite but you couldn't quite place it.

You glanced at Jeremy and saw his face had contorted into a grimace. “Oh, I forgot that you were invited,” he groaned.

The woman scoffed. “I hardly see why you would be surprised. Of course, a party at a place such as this would just beg for a mention on “The Elite Woman.” Somehow, her behavior reminded you of Mettaton in a way.

“The Elite Woman?” You asked, “you mean the magazine that’s practically in every check stand in every store you go to?”

“Wow, Lori, I didn't think you would had enough brain power to recognize a universally loved brand.”

Well, there went the Mettaton similarity at that point. Mettaton wasn’t a little bitch. You felt yourself tense. “Just who the fuck do you think you are?” You demanded, standing up. You took one look at her and suddenly remembered.

The snotty attitude. The overinflated sense of entitlement. The face that you so desperately wished you could punch as you did your best to try to blend in during high school. This was the cheerleader.

“Chelsea?” You asked.

Jeremy sighed as Chelsea perfect pink lips curled into a smile. “Looks like she can learn.” She walked over to your spot and handed her glass to your fake boyfriend. “This wine is stale. Jeremy, why don't you go ahead and clean that up and bring me a new one? After all it is your job.”

Jeremy attempted to straighten himself up but slumped his shoulders. “Alright.” He took the glass and quickly walked away, unfortunately leaving you with her. Man, what you wouldn't give for your phone right now.

“Well, clearly you don’t belong here,” she began, pulling out her compact mirror.

You were not going to fold. You chuckled. “That obvious huh?”

“Clearly.” She put away her mirror only to pull out her phone, her eyes only once glancing up at you during this process.

“Judging by your dress, I would say that you made some smart decisions but judging by your attitude and make up, I'm going to say that's not the case.” Goddamn, that bitch was a vicious little sniper. You understood why Jeremy folded so quickly. “So, what do you do?” She asked in a voice that clearly emphasized how much she didn’t care about what you did.

You took an extra big swig of your wine. Wine was not meant to be swigged but tonight was a special exemption so far. “I'm an RVT.”

“Sounds like a waste of time. And that's it? Nothing else to fill your sad little life?”

You grinned. “Actually, I'm in a dance class. And when I'm not there, I fuck your brother on the side.”

The change in the socialite’s face was immediate. Her eyes met your own. Her face hardened. “We don't talk about Robert.”

“Aw, really? After taking me to prom and everything, he was probably the nicest one out of your entire bitch family,” you goaded, poking the bitc-bear with a stick.

“I said, we don't talk about Robert!!” Chelsea raised her voice. You hesitated. The normally put together little shit suddenly appeared rather disheveled. In your whole life, you had never seen this woman be disheveled. Hell, even at her grandfather’s funeral, she tweeted out glamour photos of her posing next to the casket in her pink sundress to all your classmates asking for likes because she was just so emotional.

Knowing this, you still decided to proceed. “Why?” You asked carefully.

Chelsea brushed a few strands into place and snorted, the attitude immediately bubbling up again to cover up whatever you just saw. “My personal life is none of your business.”

You shrugged and gestured to a few people around who had paused their conversations to watch the outburst. “Well alright, but you look psychotic at the moment,” you suggested.

She looked at you quizzically and looked around. You couldn't but admit you got some sick satisfaction from watching the blood drain from her face. She whirled on you and pointed at you, “You think you're so fucking clever, don’t you?” she hissed.

“Yes?” You offered. She advanced on you and you immediately felt your fight and flight mode kick in. Was she trying to start a fight? How much would it hurt to take a stiletto to the face? Your fighting skills were dismal but you could flail fairly well. You spotted Jeremy approaching with a fresh drink and you relaxed. Right. You weren't alone. Even if your partner was still clearly emotionally scarred from his time in high school.

“Oh goody, here's comes my boyfriend,” You experimentally said. Jeremy practically lit up like a firework at your words.

“About time,” Chelsea growled snatching the drink from him and taking a large gulp. “Both of you better not bother me.” She turned about face and quickly walked away.

You chuckled, sitting back in your chair like a smug cat that did not just fall off the table in front of an audience. “Who’s the crazy bitch now, huh?” You called out quietly enough so she wouldn’t hear you and come back.

Jeremy let out a whistle as he approached. “Wow, I haven't seen her that angry in a while. What'd you do?”

You shrugged. “I talked about Robbie.”

You weren't sure but you swore you could see the most subtle of a pained expression on his face but it was gone before you could tell for sure. He scoffed instead. “Yeah, uh probably not a good idea to bring up Robbie.”

You tilted your head at him. You were about to ask why when he handed you another glass. “Here’s to being normal and being able to talk about family without having a meltdown.” You took the glass from him and chuckled.

“Let's just stick to the normal part. You remember my parents.”

“Ah yes. To normal then.” He glanced to the side and sighed. “Man, she’s such a bitch, isn’t she?” You nodded, sipping on the chilled beverage. “What make hot girls think they can treat everyone else like shit?"

"Hey, don’t blame it on the hotness,” you argued.

“What do you mean?”

You shrugged. “I mean, like, not every pretty person treats people like shit. It’s just that there are some assholes who happen to be hot that ruin it for the rest of the hot people.”

Jeremy chuckled. “How much have you been drinking?”

You sneered back at him. “Clearly not enough if I had to explain that to you.”

“You’re cute.” He caught the attention of another patron and gave you a quick wave. “Duty calls. Hey, but stick around and I'll bring you an extra special glass. We aren't planning on offering to the public for a few months.”

“Offering me bootlegged alcohol?” You teased. “You sure know how to show a girl a good time.”

“I sure do!” Jeremy pressed a kiss to your cheek and walked away. You rubbed your cheek.

“... motherfucker did he lick me?”

~~~~~

“Why, good evening, Papyrus! How are you doing today?” Toriel greeted the younger skeleton when he opened the door.

“Very good! I’m absolutely excited to begin today’s lesson!” He nearly shouted, waving a notepad in the air.

“Goodness, you most certainly are! Is that a list?” She asked with a smile on her face.

“Yes! I wrote down a lot of questions!”

“Well, I’m absolutely delighted you want to learn so much. Where is Sans?”

“Oh, he’s been in the kitchen ever since you called us and told us Frisk wasn’t coming.” Papyrus shrugged. “I’m sorry Frisk couldn’t come after all.”

“That’s alright. I’m sure he will have plenty of fun at his friend’s house.”

“I’m sure he will!” Papyrus assisted in carrying in her portable writing board. “Can I get you a drink or anything?”

“Why thank you Papyrus, for now, I’m quite good.” Papyrus looked rather excited. Toriel grinned. “Would you like to ask a question now?

“Really?”

“Of course.”

“What does the word ‘fing’-?”

“hey tori!” The two Monsters looked over to Sans leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. A bottle of ketchup clutched loosely in his hand. His younger brother rolled his sockets.

“Good evening, Sans.”

“Ugh! Sans! What have I told you? Don’t drink straight from the bottle! Go put it in a glass!”

“heh, you’re right, bro. where are those again?”

“Nevermind! I will go get you one!” The taller skeleton left, leaving Sans and Toriel alone in the living room.

Sans coughed and approached. “so, uh, you planning on picking up frisk later tonight?”

“Not unless he calls. He said he told about the slumber party earlier this week, but for the life of me, I don’t remember when.”

“i bet he did.”

Toriel sighed. “I guess I’m turning into an old woman these days.”

Sans chuckled. “nah, tori, you ain’t old. i mean if anything, i’m way more ancient. i’m just a pile of bones.”

She snorted. “Thank you, Sans. You always know how to get a giggle out of this old goat.”

“a willing audience always helps when you’re kidding around.”

“Are you both telling puns?” Papyrus’ voice called from the kitchen.

“It depends on ewe you ask,” Toriel called back.

“You’re both weird! Your jokes are terrible.”

“don’t you mean baaad?”

The skeleton stormed out of the kitchen, carrying a glass and a strand of bucatini pasta. He snatched the beverage out of Sans’ hands and poured it in with a sklurp before handing it back. “Here, maybe this will keep you quiet for a bit.”

Sans smiled at his brother and took the glass back, sipping on the makeshift straw. “thanks, bro.”

“Toriel, may I help you set up in any way?” He asked the goat Monster who just finished placing the markers on the portable board.

“I’ve just finished up. Go ahead.”

“Fantastic. So what is-?”

Sans interrupted. “hey pap, i thought you had made dinner already. why don’t you get tori a plate?”

Toriel shook her head, remaining friendly despite the threat against her personal health. “I am good at the moment. But thank you.”

“As I was-”

Sans interrupted again. “you know what, I could go for a plate?” He ended his request in a question.

Papyrus blinked in surprise. “Really?”

Toriel appeared equally surprised. “Really?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “yes.”

Papyrus smiled widely, prompting his older brother to do the same. “Well, I most certainly can get you a plate! Don’t go anywhere.” The skeleton quickly left the room, once again leaving Sans and a suspicious Toriel.

“Sans.”

“what’s up?”

“What’s going on?”

“nuthin much.”

Toriel cleared her throat and lowered her voice. “You were not very specific on the phone about what I was supposed to talk about. Would you like to tell me now?”

Sans scratched the back of his skull. “it’s uh, sex things.”

She paused. “Sex things? Like sex?”

He nodded hurriedly and tried to explain as nonchalantly as he could manage. “pap’s starting to get intimate with the girl again. and uh, he may have already had uh…tori?”

The goat Monster had broken into laugh, her face that had been mired with concern now showing visible relief. “Oh, that’s all?”

“what?”

“I thought you wanted to talk about something else.” She shrugged.

Sans stared at his friend that maybe he didn’t quite know as much as he thought he did about her. “you’re alright with talking about that?”

“Of course! I am a mother after all. I do have some experience,” she winked.

“uhh.”

Toriel picked up a marker. “So, you think he’s already had sex?”

“yeah.”

“What makes you say that?”

Sans chuckled awkwardly. “I may have overheard him.”

Toriel tittered. “Oh goodness. I suppose you’ll want me to cover volume control as well?”

“uhh.”

A plate of overcooked squash and pineapple was thrust into his line of sight and he grabbed it instinctively. “Bone appetite, brother!” Papyrus cackled at his own pun.

“thanks pap.”

Toriel cleared her throat. “Papyrus, I heard you had some questions about intimate relationships.” Sans tried to say something but she shot him a look. Instead he placed a piece of burnt pineapple in his mouth.

The skeleton beamed proudly. “Ah yes! First question. What is fingering?”

Sans choked.

++++++ARTWORK++++++  
[Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must)  
[Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die)  
[Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so)  
[Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori)  
[Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part)  
[Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest)  
[Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this)  
[Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
[BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take)  
[Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i)  
[Catching a human](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105129881/smallpersiankitten-holy-biscuits-this-took)  
[Fighting in the Bedroom](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149105287381/smallpersiankitten-3)  
[Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres)  
[Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on)  
[Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
[Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
[Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
[Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but)  
[Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt)  
[Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1)  
[A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
[I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i)  
[What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we)  
[Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
[Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)  
[NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) The Halloween Camping Trip  
[ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten  
[Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta)  
[How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you)  
[Lori Doodlel](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
[How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i)  
[Mace Incident Page 1](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-1-668606055)  
[Mace Incident Page 2](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-2-668628262)  
[Mace Incident Page 3](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-3-668630494)  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people just never recover from high school. In the meantime...Let's talk about sex, baby. ;) 
> 
> This can only end well for everyone.
> 
> Edit: Don't remember Chelsea? Go back to Chapter 12. Yup.ive been planning this for nearly 80 chapters. How's that for continuity? Lol
> 
> Artwork Inspired by this Chapter:  
>   
> Drawn by [frankcompanioncube](http://frankpanioncube.tumblr.com/)  
> ! Go check out her tumblr for amazing recipes and Undertale stories!! Seriously, she's a cool cat! :D


	91. Let's Talk About Sex Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hi, welcome. Yes, the chapter has been anticipated far more than most of the sexy chapters because you guys are weird. 
> 
> On an awesome side note, we have new fanart!
> 
> The first one is by ashes-before-flame! They've drawn a sexy Lori posing in her bathing suit!  
> [Sexy Bathing Suit](http://ashes-before-flame.tumblr.com/post/158836343019/smallpersiankitten-i-know-its-like-half-the)
> 
> from peanutbutter-n-meli! It's from Chapter 86 and the facial expressions are hysterical!  
> [I’m Not Waiting Here For Him!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/158844093324/um-so-this-is-the-second-time-im-making-art-for)
> 
> Go and give these people some love!! 
> 
> I'd also like to give a special thanks to canadian-buckbeaver for helping me with this chapter, especially with Toriel's bits. She's awesome. :D 
> 
> And now, here it is...the cringe. 
> 
> I regret nothing. Fucking nothing.

Sans choked as Toriel took in the question calmly. “Oh, well, that’s not quite where I thought we’d start out. Any reason for this particular question?”

Papyrus glanced around and scratched the back of his skull sheepishly. “Well, I apparently fingered my ex date.” 

“Oh. You did?” She asked, attempting to speak over Sans who continued to cough. He nodded. “So you actually inserted your fingers in her?”

Papyrus stopped nodding. “Inserted my fingers? Like, in her mouth?” He asked curiously. 

The Monster shook her head. “No, into her vagina.”

“I don’t believe so. What is that?”

Toriel began to draw on the whiteboard. “Why don’t we start at the beginning of this. Papyrus, you know where babies come from, don’t you dear?” 

“Of course! Sans says that when two Monsters love each other very much that a pelican from the North Pole drops off a baby for them,” Papyrus answered matter of factly.

Toriel took this opportunity to glare at Sans who wisely did not make eye contact with her. “Well, when one Monster and another Monster love each other very much, sometimes they engage in what we call sexual intercourse. Traditionally, a male and a female Monster will mate together. The male Monster has a penis and the female has a vagina. Those parts are located here usually,” she continued pointing to the picture she had drawn, “The mechanical concepts are very simple. I have no doubt that the Great Papyrus would understand.” 

The skeleton beamed at the compliment and nodded. “Of course I would. That makes perfect sense…although does sexual intercourse lead to babies? I mean, not that I wouldn’t be a good father, I would be the best dad ever!” 

Toriel smiled. “Well, it can but not always. Many times, couples do it because it can feel good.”

“Ha! Excellent! I wouldn’t want to accidentally propel someone into parenthood if they were ready for the responsibility like I could be.” He paused. “Well, I did not put my fingers in her, but I did put my fingers on that area. She seemed to enjoy it and then she got really relaxed.”

“oh my god, pap,” Sans muttered. 

Toriel erased her pictures and began to draw again. “Ah. That’s considered stimulating her. Females have a bundle of nerve fibers in their vagina that can make her feel pleasure when pressure is placed on certain parts of these fibers by fingers or toys. And that relaxation you’re referring to is most likely an orgasm.”

Sans had sat down in the couch and attempted to shrink into his cushions as his brother took notes. “Right, now this organism feels good to women, yes?” 

“Orgasm, dear. And yes it can. It is an extreme feeling that is the result of the body having sexual pleasure. Prolonged touching of different parts of the vagina can cause a female to have an orgasm.”

“So stimulating is the only action that will lead to an orgasm?” He asked.

“Actually, no. Sexual intercourse in general can lead to an orgasm. There are many different positions you could take.”

“Such as?”

“Well, for example, there’s missionary and doggy-“

“ah, okay, that’s enough questions for now, pap. tori probably needs a break.” Sans finally spoke up, plunking down an empty dish with a clatter. 

Toriel smiled gently at the somewhat stressed skeleton brother. “No, it’s quite alright. These are good questions.” 

“yeah, but it’s a bit weird.” 

“Weird? Sans, sex is perfectly natural. It’s not something to be ashamed about.” 

Sans shook his head. “it’s not shameful. it’s just weird hearing it come from you.” 

The moment those words left his teeth, there was an immediate shift in the atmosphere. Toriel stared at him oddly. “…what do you mean by that?” She asked.

Papyrus rolled his sockets. “Sans, the Queen may be the Queen, but she is a mother. So, she should know about sexual intercourse. It’s not like babies are made accidentally, you know.”

Sans waved his hands. “that’s just it. she’s a mom.” 

“And what’s wrong with being a mom?” Toriel asked coolly. 

“nothing.”

Papyrus hesitated. “Uh, well now that there’s no problems, so I was watching this video…”

Toriel regarded Sans disbelievingly. “That nothing doesn’t seem too convincing.” 

“it’s just you know…”

“...and in the video, the man licks the woman’s vagina,” Papyrus continued, hoping to dispel whatever tension had suddenly built up. 

“That’s referred to as oral sex,” Toriel responded. 

Sans pointed in exasperation. “that. what you’re saying.” 

Toriel crossed her arms. “Sans, are you a virgin?” 

“no.”

“Well, neither am I,” she argued. 

“Congratulations for not being virgins!” Papyrus cheered awkwardly.

The Queen gave him a pleased smile. “Thank you, Papyrus. Most women do like it when you take your time to get to know them and not assume they’re some sexless, old goat.” She shot Sans an irritated glance. “Perhaps I’ve been teaching the wrong skeleton?” 

Sans laughed, clearly bemused. “don’t think so, tori. i don’t like to brag, but i got a lot more experience when it comes to this sort of thing.” 

“Oh, I doubt that,” Toriel laughed mysteriously. Sans appeared even more perturbed by her response.

Papyrus observed the two and cleared his throat. “Well, I am really glad that we all have so much experience in this intercourse thing! No amateurs here! Nyeh heh heh heh!” 

His laugh faded into a strained silence. Toriel and Sans stared rather warily toward each other before Sans finally broke the eye contact, shuffling his feet. Toriel smiled and turned to Papyrus. “I think I will have that cup of tea after all.” 

He eagerly clasped his hands together. “That sounds like a great plan! I will start boiling the water” 

“uh, actually, pap, i drank the last of it the other day,” Sans interjected. His younger brother stopped in his tracks.

“Really? You could have told me. I was out shopping the other day. I could have picked up some.” 

“would you mind getting some now?” He felt his younger brother scrutinize him for a few moments.

Papyrus tapped his chin. “I suppose I could. I should also pick up some more food for YOUR pet rock,” he shook his head. “Really, Sans. I expect you to be more responsible about these sort of things.” 

“sorry, bro,” Sans apologized as Papyrus picked up his keys. 

“That’s alright. When I come back, we can both learn about sex and proper pet care! Nyeh heh heh heh! I’ll be back soon!” He waved good bye and closed the door after him. 

~~~~~

“You're Jeremy's girl, right?”

You looked up to see another coworker. She had a pleasant smile on her face. She appeared approachable. Or at the very least, she approached you. You relaxed. Relaxing was made easier by the inclusion of alcohol. “For tonight, at least,” you admitted with a grin. 

She winked at you. “Heheh, I got it. The guys have been riding him pretty hard about dating someone.” She took your empty glass and placed it behind the bar counter. She nudged you in the ribs gently. “You should probably claim him pretty soon. He's a good guy. Lot of the girls really like him. Plus, he's super hot. And that's not the twenty dollars talking that he slipped me to say nice things about him to you.”

It took you a moment to register what she said and you threw back your head laughing. “Oh my God, really? That's terrible.”

“Figured it would make you laugh. He said you had a good sense of humor.” Damn right you did. You were absolutely not going to clock him for bribing his coworkers.

You chuckled. “Huh. What else did he say about me?” 

The woman in front of you laughed. “What hasn’t he said about you? Seriously, he’s talked about you since like forever.”

“Forever, eh? Clearly, I need to get him into some new hobbies,” you joked.

“I know, right? And I’ve only been here the last year! Who knows how long he’s been talking about before then!”

You paused as the coworker giggled. Last years? You had only reconnected with him a few months ago. “Oh, huh. That’s…weird.”

“How so?”

“I-uh,” You bit your lip at her optimism. She cocked her head at you curiously and you shook your head. Just play it off as a sassy joke. “I just didn’t realize he was such a chatty little bitch about me.” Ooh, too sassy. Too sassy. Reel it in. 

Thankfully, the other girl took it in stride. “Well, he’s passionate alright!” 

“He's an ass!” You and the coworker had only the shortest of seconds before you were both roughly shoved aside by another woman. The woman staggered unsteadily, finally finding purchase with the bar. Her face was red with an overconsumption of alcohol and if she didn't have that bar table to hold on to, you're sure she would have fallen right on her ass. It was fucking Chelsea. 

“Chelsea, how the fuck did you get drunk so quickly?” You asked, absolutely astounded. It's not like you weren't feeling the effects of the alcohol but you could at least walk and reason and walk. 

“You-you think you got it all, huh?” Chelsea spat. 

You exchanged looks with the coworker. “Yes?” You offered. 

She laughed an ugly laugh. “I could have anything that I want. I bet I could even take your boyfriend from you if I wanted a nerdy little creep.”

“Alright,” the coworker assuaged trying to guide her away. “I think you've had enough to drink.”

Chelsea yanked herself out of her grasp and grabbed the shoulder of your dress. “I’m going to take him, just to spite you.”

Alright. You had enough of acting like the good little girlfriend. You reached up and dug your nails into her hand. Hard. She cried out and tried to pull back but you held onto her tightly. “Listen you piece of shit,” you snarled, “I don't give a damn about how fucking big your clit is but you're being a fucking cunt. So, if you touch me one more time, I'm going to take my other fist and make them redo your nose job.”

You released your hold and she reeled back. She looked at you viciously as she wobbled. “You-you’ll pay for that!” She spat. She turned around and pushed the unfortunate female coworker out of the way as she stormed off. 

“Are you serious?” A familiar voice asked right next to you, making you jump. You turned quickly to see Jeremy. He looked disappointed? “I can’t believe you did that.” 

“She touched me first,” you argued.

“You shouldn’t have talked to her like that. You were supposed to let me handle it,” Jeremy scolded. You blinked in surprise. 

“Are you serious right now? I was supposed to wait for you?” 

He nodded. “Listen, you don’t know how to handle people like that.” Your mouth hung ajar at the statement as he huffed.

“I think I did a pretty damn good job of handling someone like that,” you claimed, pointing in the direction that the bitch had stumbled off toward.

“All you’ve done is piss her off. Now who knows what’s she going to write about this place in her family's magazine.” 

You didn’t think of that. Your hand dropped and your shoulders slumped. “I didn’t think about that.” 

“Of course, you didn’t. You were just thinking about yourself. You didn’t think about us at all.” The words stung and Jeremy sighed. “Just let me take care of things from now on, alright? It’ll be better that way.” You sighed. He patted you on the shoulder supportively. “Here, I brought you a special glass of the bootleg stuff.” He smiled at you and handed you the glass.

“Thanks, I’m sorry,” you apologized. You watched him leave and found yourself sitting back down and sulking. Fuck. You didn’t mean to cause a scene. But it was self-defense, right? You began to argue internally. Was it really self-defense if you could have broken her in two? Then again, she was drunk. Drunk people weren’t the most predictable. What if she had something in her purse? Like what, a lipstick? You think she was going to stab you with the lipstick? Christ, you were drunk but not that drunk.

“Maybe Jeremy was right,” you muttered, swirling the glass dejectedly. He sounded so disappointed in you. You should just do what he said and behave. You began to take a sip. 

“Excuse me, miss, are you Lori?” 

You stopped before you imbibed a drop to look at another employee. You placed the glass back down and cocked your head at them quizzically. “Yeah, er, yes that’s me.” You were supposed to be cultured about this, weren’t you?

The employee looked uncomfortable. “We have someone on the telephone for you. It sounded like something urgent.” 

Who could be on the phone for you? “Uhhh, alright, let me talk to them.” You followed the employee to the end of the counter where a phone rested on hold. You picked it up. “Hello?” You asked hesitantly. 

“HEY DORK!!!”

You blinked. “Undyne?”

~~~~~

Papyrus sat in the parking lot of the grocery store, playing on his phone and glancing at the time. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew Sans clearly had some type of problem with this whole sexual intercourse talk and naturally needed the extra time to speak with Toriel alone about these sort of things. He did not want Sans to feel embarrassed about his lack of sexual knowledge-Papyrus prized himself on his ability to pick up on these minute clues- so he had played along with going out to pick up tea, despite the fact that he knew they had a whole cupboard of tea above the microwave. 

In the meantime, Papyrus continued to scroll through videos Mettaton had posted to the Undernet, making sure to leave a supportive comment and a like on each one. He had been tempted to do some extra credit and look up some more information about sex but Sans had asked him to wait for Toriel so he continued to patiently wait.

He looked at the clock again. He had given them about 45 minutes so far. Hopefully Sans had asked the questions he wanted by this point. He turned the key in the ignition only to pause as his phone recommended a Sudoku app. Perhaps, he could give Sans a little bit more time, he decided, switching off the car and installing the app. 

 

Awesome fanart from you awesome guys! Go check out the links! (Now organized by chapter!)

[Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so) (Chapter 4 and 5)  
[Mace Incident Page 1](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-1-668606055) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Mace Incident Page 2](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-2-668628262) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Mace Incident Page 3](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-3-668630494) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this) (Chapter 14)  
[Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must) (Chapter 18)  
[BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take) (Chapter 19)  
[Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die) (Chapter 19 and Chapter 4)  
[Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori) (Chapter 29)  
[Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part) (Chapter 29)  
[Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest) (Chapter 33)  
[Catching a human](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107361845/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-3) (Chapter 36 and 37)  
[Fighting in the Bedroom](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107293745/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-holy) (Chapter 37)  
[Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i) (Chapter 39)  
[Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres) (Chapter 50)  
[Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on) (Chapter 50)  
[Sexy Bathing Suit](http://ashes-before-flame.tumblr.com/post/158836343019/smallpersiankitten-i-know-its-like-half-the) (Chapter 50)  
[Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but) (Chapter 49 and 62)  
[Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt) (Chapter 62)  
[Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1) (Chapter 63)  
[I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i) (Chapter 67)  
[What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we) (Chapter 67)  
[Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)(Chapter 71)  
[Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta) (Chapter 78)[How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you) (Chapter 80)  
[How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i) (Chapter 80)  
[I’m Not Waiting Here For Him!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/158844093324/um-so-this-is-the-second-time-im-making-art-for) (Chapter 86)

No Particular Chapter

[Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
[Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
[Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
[Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
[Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
[Lori Doodle](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
[A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
[](https://b-b-b-bonezoned.tumblr.com/)

Outside of Must Love Animals

[NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) (The Halloween Camping Trip - Chapter 15)  
[ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten - Chapter 4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What point finally got you or did you make it through this entire chapter cringe free?


	92. The Favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What could Undyne want to speak about? Hopefully everything's okay. 
> 
> Oh, and if you haven't read/heard of it yet, I wrote an April Fools story. It's short but hopefully you get a giggle: [The April Project](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10521360)
> 
> Now, onto the rest of the chapter!

“HEY DORK!!!”

You blinked. “Undyne?”

“Yup! Hey! I got a quick question for ya. What time does your hospital close?”

“Uh, 4pm, we close early on Saturdays.”

“Damn, alright, uh, do you know another animal hospital that’s open?” 

Something was wrong. “Undyne, did something happen?”

Undyne groaned. “Uh, well remember those plants you told us about?”

You bit your lip as your drunk mind tried to recall what she was talking about. "HydrangeaHydrangea, yes.”

“Well you remember Doggo, right?” 

“Yeah.” You remembered him all too well. You did not like where this was going. 

“So, Lesser Dog found him acting really weird and we followed him and...well, he ate practically a bush  
of them by the side of the fence.” Your heart came to a standstill as she continued. “We must have missed them somehow and Doggo didn’t know and now he’s acting shaky and he won’t eat any monster food.” 

“How did he not know about the pl-?” You stopped midsentence. Oh my God. He didn’t know about the plant, because he had already run off when you had explained it to the guards. 

“Yeah, even if he did know, he does eat some weird things after he’s smoked those biscuits. But listen, we’ve got him tied down in the car. Can you tell me where the nearest hospital is? I can’t go online because Alphys was doing a system upgrade.” 

Your mind racked for information. “The only one I know is about an hour away from you guys! You won’t make it there in time!” 

“Shit. I got to try though, right?” 

You gritted your teeth. Time was absolutely of the essence when it came to these type of cases. The longer you waited, the greater the likelihood of permanent liver failure. And waiting too long could result in death. “There has to be something else we can do,” you argued. Was there a closer hospital? No. Could you treat him yourself? Not without getting fired. You’d need a doctor. Was there a doctor you could call? You had all the doctor numbers in your little phonebook! But none of them would risk opening up the hospital after hours for something like this. It would have to be a doctor you really knew or one that owed you a favor or…

“A favor.” You realized.

“What?” 

“Undyne, head for my hospital. I’ll meet you there!” You ordered.

“Got it! Be there in 20.” 

You hung up the phone and immediately pulled out your phone book. TJ! TJ owed you a favor! You flipped to his number and hastily dialed his number. “Come on, pick up you son of a bitch,” you swore as the phone rang. By the third ring, the tension had knotted your stomach. 

Finally, a voice answered. “Hello?” It was a woman’s voice.

You hesitated, but pushed forward. “Hello, is TJ, er Dr. Johnson there?” Why would a woman answer his phone?

“Yes. Can I ask who’s calling?”

Shit. “Yes, sorry, this is Lori, I’m one of the RVTs at his hospital. Listen, I need to speak with him right away. It’s an emergency.” 

“He’s unfortunately unavailable at the moment.” You swore silently. This was it. You had doomed Doggo. “..did you say an emergency?”

You groaned. “Yes, a dog Monster ate Hydrangea and he’s starting to undergo the toxicity symptoms.”

“You need to take him to an emergency hospital,” She instructed. 

“They’re coming from Sunset Hills. They’re not going to make it on time. The closest one is-”

“Animal Emergency on Furley Avenue.” 

You blinked in surprise. “How did you..?” And then it hit you. “Is this...Allison?” 

“Yes. This is Dr. Allison Johnson. I would be working there now but we had the evening off to visit with my parents,” she explained. This was his wife. The veterinarian at the emergency hospital. You racked your brain for the next step as she sighed. “You’re right, they won’t make it on time.” We? That meant she was with her husband.

“Is TJ with you right now?”

“Yes, but he’s far too inebriated to be of any use to anyone. Serves him right for trying to outdrink my father.” You could hear someone attempting to sing in the background. You cringed.

“Your father?”

“My maiden name is O’Malley.”

“Ah.” You took the biggest breath that you could. You had one shot. “Listen, my friend won’t make it and I told them to go to the hospital. My hospital. And...TJ owes me. One favor.” There was silence and you began to pray. God, Buddha, Allah, Flying Spaghetti Monster, whoever the fuck was out there. You needed a miracle and you needed it now. 

“Very well. We’ll go there now.”

You could have screamed. “Thank you! Thank you!” You paused. “But he’s drunk...how is he-?” 

“Leave that part to me. Just get to that hospital now.” 

“Yes Dr. Johnson!” You hung up the phone and repacked your bag. You had to go now. You..DIDN’T HAVE YOUR CAR KEYS! Because...you didn’t drive. “FUCK!” You practically yelled, startling a few patrons around you. And even if you had keys, you probably weren’t okay to drive. There was no sense in trying to save one life if you could hurt a whole lot more. But Jeremy drove! And he was not drunk! He was a sober as a teddy bear at an orgy. Did that make sense? No! But who the fuck cared. You had to find him.

You spotted him in the crowd and sprinted after him. “Jeremy! Jeremy! Jeremy!” You practically shouted. The man turned and immediately ran to you. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?

“We have to leave right now!” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Listen, one of the Monsters under Undyne’s care ingested something toxic! I need to get to my hospital right now so I can help a doctor give treatment.”

“Woah, wow. That’s pretty scary!” 

“Right! So come on! We got to go!” You tugged at his sleeve but to your surprise he didn’t budge. “Jeremy?”

He looked at you skeptically. “You’re asking me to leave my job?”

“I’ll explain it to your boss! He has to understand! Please, you just need to bring me there. You don’t have to stay!” You begged. 

Jeremy sighed and put an arm around you. He steered you back toward your spot on the bar. “Listen, baby, I know you’ve been drinking. Do you really think you’ll be much good to help treat your friend?” 

“I gotta try!” You argued as he guided you. 

“Plus, maybe you misunderstood. Perhaps it’s not as serious as it sounds.” You bit your lip as his words sunk in. You had been drinking a lot more than normal. What if he was right? “Listen, this is my job. It’s important. And I need you to stay. To support me. So stay here.” He emphasized this by pointing to your previous spot, only to do a double take. “What the hell?” 

You turned to see Chelsea polishing off your glass of bootlegged liquor. She spotted you and almost smashed the glass down with a triumphant smirk. “I-i told you, you little bitch,” she slurred, “I’ll take ever-everything from you. Starting with your drink.” She threw back her head and laughed. She nearly fell over backwards. 

“Jesus Christ, she’s as drunk as a skunk,” You gaped. 

“Goddamn it Chelsea, you stupid fucking cunt,” you heard Jeremy swear. The profanity brought you back down immediately. You might have drank, but you were nowhere as bad as her. Which meant, you still had a shot of helping Doggo. Starting with having enough hand eye coordination to flag down a taxi.

“Bye!” You said quickly and dashed for the door. 

“Wait!” Jeremy grabbed your arm. “Where are you going?” 

“I’m going to catch a taxi to get to my hospital.” 

“What? You’re just going to leave me on our date?” 

You clicked your tongue. “Well, you know how it is. It’s my job, right?” You could feel Jeremy’s surprisingly icy glare settle on you and you shivered. 

The jingle of keys caught your attention and you saw Chelsea attempting to fish out her keys from her purse. “I’ve got another party to go to,” She giggled. 

“Jeremy, she cannot drive.” You stated. Jeremy hesitated, still holding your arm. “She’ll hit someone else if she doesn’t kill herself.” 

“But..you…”

“Listen, we’ll go on another date, alright?”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise!” You insisted. He released your arm and gave you an appreciative smile.

“Alright, well, go try and be a hero but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

You laughed and pointed to Chelsea who was trying to flop out the door. “Take care of that dumb bitch, okay?”

He groaned. “Don’t worry, I’ll get her home safe. Just remember you owe me.” You nodded and dashed outside into the night. 

The first thing you saw was the harsh glare of bright neon lights practically aglow all around you. Your eyes took a moment to adjust from the mood setting of the restaurant to the nightlife. “Right, taxi.” You reminded yourself. Without a phone, there was no way you could access any of the ridesharing software you had on your phone. So you had to do things the old fashioned way. 

You waved at the first taxi who immediately drove past you. You had to get closer to the edge of the sidewalk. No one was going to pick you up if they thought you were just waving like a partying girl. You ran to the edge of the curb and saw a taxi parked just across the street. “Perfect!” You had a green crossing sign and began to cross only to have a car suddenly slam to a stop right in front of you in the cross walk.

This was the second near vehicle hit you had in the last month...and this time it wasn’t your fault. “You asshole! Don’t you see it’s a red light!” You yelled at the red convertible. 

“Human?!” Your voice caught in your throat as you recognized the driver.

“Papyrus?!” You yelled. You stared at him stumped for a second before you started angrily yelling at him. “Don’t run a red light! Don’t you remember the stupid puzzle I taught you?!”

Papyrus nodded. “Yes, my apologies! It’s been more difficult as of late!” He looked at you more closely. “Are you alright? You look distressed. Can I be of assistance?”

You scoffed. “I don’t need you-.” You stopped midsentence as your brain caught up with your mouth. Papyrus had a car! He could get you to the hospital. Before he could say anything, you opened the passenger side door and hopped in just as the light turned green. “Drive! Drive! Drive!”

Papyrus obliged, albeit a bit confused. “Any particular direction?”

Oops. “We need to go to my hospital now!” 

“Yes, of course, but may I ask why?” He asked as he shifted into gear. 

“Doggo ate the poisonous plant that grows in Undyne’s field! I need to get to the hospital to meet the doctor so we can try to treat him before it gets worse!” 

Papyrus appeared startled at your quick summary but his face soon turned serious. “I see. Please hang on!” You barely had enough time to grab the seat before he gunned the engine and rocketed down the street. You let out a surprised yelp at the sudden increase of speed yet Papyrus appeared unfazed by the higher velocity. 

Luck was on your side as you hit practically every green light and soon you found yourself in the hospital parking lot. “Come on!” You called as you hopped out and ran to unlock the front door. You jammed your key in and pushed open the heavy glass door. You traveled a few feet before you realized Papyrus was not following you. You returned to the front door and opened it to see him standing there awkwardly. 

Shit. For all you knew, you probably had pulled him from whatever plans he had made before you practically accosted him in his car. “Thank you, Papyrus. You can go now if you don't want to help anymore,” you informed him. 

Papyrus shook his head. “I want to help you but I cannot enter the hospital.”

You cocked your head. “What the fuck do you mean you can't enter the hospital?” As soon as the words were out of your mouth, you could have facepalmed. He was not entering because you had banned him. Without another second, you reached across the threshold, seized his hand and pulled him after you. “Consider yourself unbanned for tonight. Now help me. Please,” You asked.

“Of course!” He insisted. You gave him a grateful smile and proceeded to lead him toward the technician area. Perhaps if you had turned around, you would have spotted him smiling even wider. Then again maybe you wouldn't.

After all, you didn't even realize you were still holding his hand.

Awesome fanart from you awesome guys! Go check out the links! (Now organized by chapter!)

[Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so) (Chapter 4 and 5)  
[Mace Incident Page 1](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-1-668606055) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Mace Incident Page 2](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-2-668628262) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Mace Incident Page 3](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-3-668630494) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this) (Chapter 14)  
[Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must) (Chapter 18)  
[BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take) (Chapter 19)  
[Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die) (Chapter 19 and Chapter 4)  
[Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori) (Chapter 29)  
[Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part) (Chapter 29)  
[Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest) (Chapter 33)  
[Catching a human](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107361845/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-3) (Chapter 36 and 37)  
[Fighting in the Bedroom](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107293745/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-holy) (Chapter 37)  
[Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i) (Chapter 39)  
[Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres) (Chapter 50)  
[Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on) (Chapter 50)  
[Sexy Bathing Suit](http://ashes-before-flame.tumblr.com/post/158836343019/smallpersiankitten-i-know-its-like-half-the) (Chapter 50)  
[Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but) (Chapter 49 and 62)  
[Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt) (Chapter 62)  
[Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1) (Chapter 63)  
[I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i) (Chapter 67)  
[What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we) (Chapter 67)  
[Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)(Chapter 71)  
[Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta) (Chapter 78)[How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you) (Chapter 80)  
[How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i) (Chapter 80)  
[I’m Not Waiting Here For Him!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/158844093324/um-so-this-is-the-second-time-im-making-art-for) (Chapter 86)

No Particular Chapter

[Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
[Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
[Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
[Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
[Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
[Lori Doodle](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
[A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
[](https://b-b-b-bonezoned.tumblr.com/)

Outside of Must Love Animals

[NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) (The Halloween Camping Trip - Chapter 15)  
[ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten - Chapter 4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The date's over but the night is still young and we've got a monster to save!
> 
> Hang in there, Doggo...you crazy bastard. :)


	93. We are Trained Professionals (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, this is a longer chapter but I was way too excited to stop writing so here it is! 
> 
> I really, really hope you like this chapter. Because I did. For many reasons. ;)

“Hold this!” You handed the frozen vial of apomorphine to the skeleton.

“Yes. What am I doing with this?”

“It’s apomorphine. It induces vomiting. I need you to bring it to room temperature.”

“Of course! I knew this, I just wanted to make sure you knew.” You smirked as you pulled out various syringes and a set of electric clippers. Normally you’d have to stick the vial under your armpit or wait to get hot water before you could start defrosting this particular drug. But with your newly established veterinary assistant, you had an extra hand or two. Which allowed you to gather the other supplies together. Especially the set of electric clippers. TJ would have to hit a vein for this drug to be effective. Which meant you were going to have to shave some part of Doggo because you doubted your semi inebriated ass and TJ’s definitely drunk ass would be able to hit a vein if it wasn’t easily visible.

“Done.”

“What?” Papyrus handed you a defrosted vial. “That was fast,” You admitted, rather stunned. It took you at least a good 15 minutes to defrost. 10, if you were particularly sweating and overheated.

“Nyeh heh heh!”

You quickly glanced around. “Go grab some vet wrap and cotton balls for me, please.”

As he turned away, you took the opportunity to pull down your dress. Doing prep work in scrubs was one thing, but in smart casual attire...that was a different story. Almost every stretch or pull you did trying to bring equipment together made your dress hike up and you quickly had to pull it down. Not that you had bad underwear on. Actually, it was rather sexy underwear. It was a date after all. Well was.

Either way, you didn’t want to accidentally flash Papyrus so you continued to adjust yourself as discreetly as you could manage. However, he noticed your wardrobe malfunctioning much sooner than you realized. You were not comfortable in heels, especially under the influence, and it was made abundantly clear when you slipped while on a step stool to grab a bag of IV fluids. The skeleton’s vigilance prevented you from landing on your rear and you instead found yourself landing safely in his arms. You looked up at him in surprise and he laughed nervously. You couldn’t help but nervously giggle as well. “That was close,” you admitted.

“Yes, it was. Please be more careful?” He asked. You nodded and looked over at the short stepping stool.

“Huh, looks like we have a casualty,” You noted, pointing to the stool. Sure enough, your right high heel was lodged firmly into one of the holes of the stool. Papyrus hesitated but gently grabbed the shoe and attempted to pull it free.

SNAP!

Papyrus blinked in surprise as he was left holding a broken shoe. The heel still remained trapped in the stool. “Eh…” He mumbled.

“Fuck. Now I have two pairs with one shoe each,” you swore. You felt Papyrus tense at your words. “Guess I’m doing this barefoot,” You muttered, tossing the broken shoe into the trash.

“Actually-” Papyrus attempted to interrupt but you already slipped off the other shoe and placed it on the ground.

“What?” You asked. Before he could answer, you heard a scuffle and lots of yelling from the front of the hospital. “That must be them!” You interrupted as the sound of frantic barking echoed down the hallway. You dashed to the front of the clinic and unlocked the door before it was broken down. Undyne barged in, dragging a panicking Doggo. You bit your lip. “Shit.”

Doggo appeared unfocused and frantic. He was shuddering as he flailed. He salivated uncontrollably and his muscles twitched unconsciously. Fuck, he was already exhibiting symptoms. Undyne spotted you and grinned manically. “We’re here!” She announced.

“Bring him to the back! The doctor’s not here yet, but I need to get him ready!” You ordered, gesturing toward the back technician area.

“Right!” Undyne looked behind you and smiled even wider. “Papyrus! Glad to see you guys got back together! Help me get Doggo to the back!”

“We’re not together!” You argued.

“A temporary alliance!” Papyrus concurred.

“Whatever! I don’t care what you call it! But get on with it!” The skeleton and fish monster seized Doggo and pulled him to the back.

You could not understand what the dog Monster was saying but you didn’t really want to if you were being honest. Most of it was probably profanity anyway. You ran as best as you could barefooted after the three Monsters. Undyne and Papyrus forced him into a sitting position and you stood nervously in front of the angry canine. “I need his arm!” You exclaimed.

Undyne pressed against the back of one of his elbows and you grabbed his paw. Doggo frantically jerked it and you instinctively reached forward to grab it back. A flash of sharp teeth descended upon your hand and in an instant, you realized you were about to have a pretty bad time. You could feel the pressure of teeth before a red glove slammed around Doggo’s muzzle and jerked it back before teeth could sink into your flesh. You looked up gratefully at Papyrus who shot you a “better hurry” look.

Undyne swore and forced out his arm again. Before he could yank it back, you proceeded to shave a patch of fur in the desperate attempt to find a vein. A flash of bluish green caught your eye before he could pull it back and you inwardly rejoice. There was a vein. Which meant you could give an IV drug. Now all you needed was the doctor.

Doggo squealed and whined but could do nothing against the strength of both monsters. The sound of his frantic barking no doubt would increase the intensity of your hangover by the time this was all said and done. Where was TJ? He needed to get here soon, or else.

The door to the technician area slammed open and you turned hopefully. TJ had arrived. Sorta. Well. Kinda. His wife, a stout red head, had mostly slung TJ’s semi conscious body over her shoulders.

“Wheee! The calvary is HERE! Where are the bagels?” He giggled.

“Holy shit, he’s fucked up,” you gasped. TJ made just as much sense as Doggo at the moment. This was disconcerting.

“Are we home yet?” TJ slurred.

His wife shook her head. “He's here to supervise.”

“Supervise what? The bottom of a toilet?” You asked exasperatedly.

“I married into a family of leprechauns,” he giggled.

“No. He's going to supervise because I'm giving the injection.”

“But you don't even work here!” You reminded as she grabbed a calculator and began to figure out the dose.

“You need Dr. Johnson to give the drug, right?” She pointed out. “Well, I'm a Dr. Johnson. Maybe not yours but at the end of the day, the papers are going to read Dr. Johnson so what difference does it make? Besides,” she glanced at TJ was starting to sprawl out on the floor. “He's just got to be sober enough to give the okay when the time comes.”

A particularly vicious set of growls and barks sent you back to your surroundings. “Everything!! Everything is moving!!!” He wailed. Man. If it was this bad for him now, he was not going to like what happened next. You watched Dr. Johnson draw up the drug in her syringe and change the needle.

“Hold off the vein.” She ordered and you reached out to grab his shaved arm. You yanked your own arm back quickly as jaws almost descended on your arm and you looked up at alarm at Doggo. He just tried to bite you! He lunged for you again but Papyrus was faster and pressed a hand firmly against his chest, pinning him into a sitting position. You shot Papyrus another grateful thank you. You grabbed Doggo's arm and held off.

“Quick Dr. Johnson! I can't hold on for long!” you yelled, pushing down as hard as you could.

Dr. Johnson looked to TJ who remained slumped on the ground. “Theo, may I give the patient the apomorphine?”

TJ giggled and drooled. “I can't feel my legs,” he chuckled.

“Theodore! Answer me!” You were losing your grip. TJ continued to zone out. She cleared her throat and yelled, “My father thinks your testicles are deformed and that's why we don't have more kids!”

TJ blinked in surprise. “He said what?!”

“Theodore! Yes?”

“Yes! What did your dad say?” But Dr. Johnson had already jabbed the patient with the syringe of apomorphine. A flash of blood like substance appeared when she pulled back the plunger and she slammed in the drug in one mighty push as you finally lost your grip.

Everything became still. You stepped back to stand near the doctors and watched carefully. “Did you do it?” You asked.

“Yes. We should hopefully see effects soon.” She informed you.

Papyrus shifted uncomfortably. “Are we going to neuter him now?” The room went absolutely silent save for the sound of Doggo panting.

“Goddammit, Pap,” you muttered.

Dr. Johnson shot him an odd look. “Uh…wrong type of morphine for that, but I guess we can schedule something if you like?” Undyne had to bite her lip to keep from cackling.

“Dr. Johnson, how long are do you think it’s going to take?” You asked, trying to steer the conversation away from castration.

She tapped her chin. “I'm not very familiar with Monster anatomy. It could be anything from a few minutes to maybe even an hour or so.”

Doggo immediately doubled over and puked. Papyrus and Undyne quickly released him.

“Ugh!!! This is gross!!” Papyrus groaned, looking away.

“Holy crap! Look at all the stuff he ate!” Undyne exclaimed excitedly. Poor Doggo did not vomit glitter but he did produce a significant amount of greenery sand bike. He must have eaten a whole bush of those flowers.

“Get me a tube of activated charcoal.” You made a face but managed to grab a large tube of it and a towel. Doggo seemed lethargic from the morphine part of the drug and did not resist nearly as much when Undyne grabbed him again. “Open his jaw and start feeding him this!”

Activated charcoal. God, you hope you never had to consume anything like that. You began to force feed it down his gullet. He retched and gagged and you couldn't help but pity the Monster even though he just tried to bite you. With a sickening slop sound, you finished the tube and wiped at the charcoal staining your hands and your dress. Another cocktail dress ruined. Not that you actually cared at this point.

You could feel yourself become slightly dizzy from the alcohol you consumed as the adrenaline began to wear off. You managed to grab a chair and sit down before your legs collapse. The action did not go unnoticed by the female vet.

“Have you been drinking?”

“Eh... kinda?” You admitted.

“Are you drunk?” You made a so-so gesture with your hand. “Did you drive here?”

“No, uh Papyrus drove me,” you gestured. You blinked in surprise. Papyrus was no longer here. “Please tell me he was here the whole time and I didn’t just imagine him.”

Dr. Johnson nodded. “No, he was here. He seems to have left.”

“Yeah uh, guess he did. I know he's not a big fan of vomit.” You half-heartedly chuckled. Your stomach clenched slightly and you scolded yourself. Why did you think he was going to stick around? You both saved Doggo as agreed upon. You had not exactly treated him politely during this whole evening. Of course, he was going to leave once this was done.

Dr. Johnson gestured to the unbroken shoe you had taken off. “Well just sit there and when we're done, I'll take you home. In the meantime, please take your shoe away so we don't trip on it.”

“Uh, actually, do you mind if I go lie on one of the couches in the waiting room. The room is starting to spin a bit,” you admitted, feeling yourself stagger even barefooted.

“Go for it. Holler if you pass out.”

“...I like you, Dr. J,” you grinned. You grabbed your only shoe and walked out into the front lobby. You sat down with a lot less flair and decorum than you had started with at the beginning of the evening. You slipped on your shoe and dangled it in front of you. “Ta da!”

You looked out the door leading to the parking lot and saw Papyrus’ car headlights were on. He must have just been leaving. You shrugged as the light illuminated you briefly and leaned your head back against the arm rest. The headlight switched off as Papyrus pulled out of the parking lot.

Or so you thought. You looked over in surprise as the door opened and Papyrus walked in. He looked just as surprised to see you. “Am I allowed to come inside still?” He asked.

“What? Uh yeah. You’re still good.” He shut the door after him and you sat up to let him sit next to you.

An awkward silence commenced. Thankfully he broke it after a minute or so. “So, tonight has been rather exciting,” he observed.

You smirked. “Heh, you can say that again.” You could feel the skeleton’s sockets still on you. You sighed and looked over at him. “What? Something wrong?”

“No, eh. You look nice,” he explained, “Were you on a date?”

“Yes?” You guessed. It was supposed to be a date at least, despite how everything turned out.

“Ah. Is the black paint on your arms an accessory to the outfit?”

“What?” You looked to see streaks of charcoal on your arms and you swore, “Dammit.”

“Language,” Papyrus corrected you before he could restrain himself and you couldn’t help but shoot him a bemused grin.

“Really?” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “No, it’s not supposed to be. I think there’s a spray bottle of rubbing alcohol in the receptionist area. Could you grab that for me?” Awful ballsy of you to ask him for a favor, wasn’t it?

“Of course!” Papyrus seemed all too eager to put some distance between you both and hurriedly entered the receptionist area.

“It should be on one of the lower shelves,” You offered helpfully as he searched the counters.

“Right, I knew that.” He crouched down. You waited a minute or so but he did not reemerge. With a sigh, you got up from your seat and awkwardly hobbled over toward his location.

“It can be kind of hard to find,” you began to say as you entered the front desk staff area. Your voice died in your throat. Papyrus had found something alright. But it wasn’t the bottle of rubbing alcohol. He was crouched close to the ground, staring at a familiar piece of paper. The word “Banned” was written with permanent marker at the top of the page. It was the photo Kaylie had taken for you. Before you could attempt to back away, Papyrus quickly looked up at you with an unreadable expression. “Shit, Pap, I can explain!”

“What is this?” He asked, standing up to face you.

The alacrity of his action made you misstep backwards and you nearly tripped backwards. You managed to grab onto the counter to steady yourself before you accidentally fell against a chair or something. He advanced on you and you suddenly felt very defenseless. “Listen, I know this looks really off but…”

“I cannot believe this,” He muttered.

“Just let me-”

“Your hospital had to ban another Skeleton Monster?”

You blinked. “What?” He pointed to the photo.

“I don’t believe I’ve met this one either. What did he do?”

Your mind took a moment to piece things together. “Um, Papyrus...that was supposed to look like you.” Papyrus looked at the photo again, stumped.

“This is supposed to be me?” He scoffed.

“Yeah, I mean, he’s wearing a scarf that looks like yours.”

“Please!” Papyrus flicked a hand out. “My scarf is much cooler looking. And where is his very cool battle armor? Clearly this was not a well thought out costume.”

You shrugged as you stood back up. “Well, it’s not like I had a lot of time to come up with this.”

Papyrus huffed. “If you had wanted a glamour shot of me, all you had to do was ask me. I would have gladly sent you a few headshots.”

“You know, you’re right. I totally should have asked you for one.”

“Absolutely!” Papyrus beamed.

“Now should I have asked for one before or after you stood me up?” You asked irritably. Papyrus’ smile froze.

“Eh…”

“Honestly, you should be happy I did this. I did have a certain photo you sent me that I could have used.”

The skeleton nervously fiddled with his scarf. “I admit, I am grateful that you didn’t.”

“Even I wanted to, I deleted it. Just like I deleted every text you sent to me,” You added, somewhat spitefully. Papyrus sighed.

“I suppose that is fair.” He admitted. You looked at his other hand and realized he was holding something.

“What’s that?”

“Hmm?” You pointed to his other hand and he looked. “Oh yes.” That didn’t explain anything. He placed the photo down and reached behind you. You shot him a questioning look until you felt the receptionist chair bump against your legs and you reflexively sat down.

He loomed over you and you felt yourself shrink back into the chair. You could not let him see that you were nervous. “Uh...are you going to tell me what it is or are you going to be really spooky about this?” Fuck.

He kneeled down so he was at the base of your hips. You squeaked and pulled your dress down in a desperate to cover yourself better as he removed his gloves. “What are you doing?!” He grabbed your naked foot and your eyes widened as memories of pressure points and being locked in a bedroom immediately came front and center. You tried to pull your leg back but his grip was secure. “Wait, wait, wait! We can’t do this here!” You squealed as one of his hands trailed to the bottom of your foot. There was no way this was happening.

Papyrus looked up at you and you could see an orange blush lighting his cheekbones. “If I don’t do this now, I’m not sure I’m going to have another opportunity to get you alone.”

Oh my God, this was happening. Your entire face went completely red and your chest beat wildly. You should kick him with your other free foot. But you remained frozen to your spot. You shut your eyes in anticipation. Imagine your surprise when you felt something leathery press against your foot. You peeked down and saw that Papyrus was putting a shoe on your bare foot. “W-what?”

“Undyne put this in my car and I haven’t taken it out since,” Papyrus spoke as he gently fit your toes into the front of the dress shoe. “You left this behind on our third date. In the backroom of Grillby’s.”

“You mean this is my shoe?” You realized. He had been keeping your shoe since the third date?

“I’m sorry I hadn’t given this to you sooner,” Papyrus continued as his finished tightening the strap around your ankle, “But I really did not want to give it to you in front of anyone else in case you wanted to yell at me.” He looked into your red face and cocked his head, “Did I make it too tight?” He made a motion to unfasten the strap on your shoe

You shook your head and further emphasized the point by placing a hand on his to stop him. “No, actually, it’s perfect…” You whispered, looking at him. For a moment, neither of you said anything. He continued to hold your foot gently and look up at you curiously from his kneeled position. The moonlight shining in from the slotted blinds of the hospital illuminated his battle body slightly and you couldn’t help but feel it just made his appearance even more fantastical. You caught sight of your hand which was still stained with charcoal and the moment ended. You withdrew your hand awkwardly and twirled your hair. “I just uhh,” You nervously glanced around but it was still just you two. “I thought you were going to do something else,” you barely mumbled.

Papyrus had leaned in to hear you better. “Something else?”

“Yes. It's just uh, kinda brought back some memories…” Your voice trailed off and your cheeks reddened even more so.

Now it was Papyrus’ turn to blush. “Ah. Yes. I can see. But do not be nervous, I have the most platonic of intentions.” Your heart kept beating even as he tried to assure you. You couldn't figure out why until you gradually felt a presence on your leg. Not wanting to look away, your hand traveled down to touch it.

Your fingers brushed over something hard and… bony. You looked down to see one of Papyrus’ skeletal hands resting high on your outer thigh. Your skin had goosebumps everywhere the bones touched and the tips of his phalanges were barely covered by the bottom of your very short dress.

You're not sure if it was you or Papyrus who gasped first but the ending result was the same. He pulled back his hand in horror as you drew up your legs. “Papyrus. What the hell?!” What was his hand doing on your thigh?!

“Please put your legs back down,” he asked, his face turning an even darker share of orange.

“Why? So you can grope me again?” You snarled.

“I can see your under garment,” Papyrus squeaked. Your eyes widened. Your dress was so short, your very action had led to you flashing Papyrus your thong.

You slammed down your feet indignantly. Oh my God. Jeremy was right. All this being nice and friendly was just a cover. The alcohol you had consumed only made your date's words echo in your ears. “You're a fucking pervert.”

“No, it's just-!”

“Jeremy was right,” You spat, “You think I'm some easy lay? You already had one girl in the class and now you're gonna go for seconds with me?”

“What?!?”

Your chest which had been warm and beating wildly minutes ago clenched painfully. “Fuck, I should have dropped the class like he said. This was all a huge mistake.” You stood up.

“No wait!” Papyrus clutched onto your legs from his kneeling position and pulled you down. Probably in an effort to get you to sit back down. Unfortunately, gravity was nobody's friend that night and he pulled you into him instead. You landed with legs splayed on his thigh bones, your dress hiking up and barely covering your rear end.

You attempted to strike his chest but he caught your wrists rather nimbly. “Let go of me.”

“Please just stop moving,” Papyrus almost begged as you squirmed against his knees and pelvis in an effort to lift yourself off of him. You continued to struggle. “I want you to listen to me,” he tried to order you.

“Fuck off!” You swore, managing to pull back hard enough to lift yourself off his legs. Your victory was short lived as Papyrus suddenly pushed into you. Your exertions landed you on your back with a startled cry and he pinned you down.

He had the nerve to actually look distraught over his actions. You couldn't bring in your legs to kick him off like you had the first time he had pinned you. So, you had to force him off verbally. You looked up at him viciously. “I'm going to scream.”

“Please don't scream.”

Why the fuck were you even warning him? Just fucking scream, you dumbass. He seemed to come to the same reasoning you did and he looked around nervously. Game over, Papyrus. You parted your lips and started to call for help. “Hel-!”

You didn’t even get out the first word before Papyrus pressed his teeth against your lips and passionately kissed you.

########

Awesome fanart from you awesome guys! Go check out the links! (Now organized by chapter!)

[Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so) (Chapter 4 and 5)  
[Mace Incident Page 1](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-1-668606055) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Mace Incident Page 2](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-2-668628262) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Mace Incident Page 3](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-3-668630494) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this) (Chapter 14)  
[Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must) (Chapter 18)  
[BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take) (Chapter 19)  
[Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die) (Chapter 19 and Chapter 4)  
[Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori) (Chapter 29)  
[Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part) (Chapter 29)  
[Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest) (Chapter 33)  
[Catching a human](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107361845/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-3) (Chapter 36 and 37)  
[Fighting in the Bedroom](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107293745/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-holy) (Chapter 37)  
[Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i) (Chapter 39)  
[Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres) (Chapter 50)  
[Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on) (Chapter 50)  
[Sexy Bathing Suit](http://ashes-before-flame.tumblr.com/post/158836343019/smallpersiankitten-i-know-its-like-half-the) (Chapter 50)  
[Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but) (Chapter 49 and 62)  
[Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt) (Chapter 62)  
[Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1) (Chapter 63)  
[I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i) (Chapter 67)  
[What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we) (Chapter 67)  
[Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)(Chapter 71)  
[Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta) (Chapter 78)[How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you) (Chapter 80)  
[How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i) (Chapter 80)  
[I’m Not Waiting Here For Him!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/158844093324/um-so-this-is-the-second-time-im-making-art-for) (Chapter 86)

No Particular Chapter

[Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
[Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
[Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
[Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
[Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
[Lori Doodle](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
[A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)

Outside of Must Love Animals

[NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) (The Halloween Camping Trip - Chapter 15)  
[ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten - Chapter 4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Yep. This can only end well. For everyone. Totally fine to passionately kiss your ex. With no consequences to any of these actions. ;)
> 
> Art inspired by this chapter:   
>  
> 
>  
> 
>   
> [Please be More Careful? (With alternate ending ;D)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/159366042514/look-another-thing-for-smallpersiankitten-and) by peanutbutter-n-meli  
> Let me know if you were able to follow this chapter. It was pretty clunky but hopefully you guys found a favorite part to enjoy. I'm going to try to doodle a scene or two...and if you've seen my pics of Gaster, you know my artwork is ter-amazing. ;)
> 
> [Gaster and Grillby](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/158976661340/zaiyofics-i-drew-fanart-for-her-that-is-loosely)   
> 


	94. Verbal Communication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Man, last chapter was really exciting huh? Alright, I'll stfu and tell you once again how sweet you guys are! I have four new links to share with you guys!
> 
> We have two new pieces of fanart (both are super cute comics) from [Peanutbutter-n-meli](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/). One of which was actually done a while ago but due to tagging and tumblr, I didn't see it until now. The first one is from Chapter 3, [You've been messaged by a potential match!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/154457651419/this-is-fan-art-for-the-lovely) and the latest one is from just last chapter [Please be More Careful? (With alternate ending ;D)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/159366042514/look-another-thing-for-smallpersiankitten-and).
> 
> The last two links are actually by me. The first one being my attempts at actually sketching Jeremy (emphasize on the word "attempts") [Jeremy Profile Sketches](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/159407005720/you-know-what-i-have-never-attemptedseen-a). The second one is actually a short written piece that is only on Tumblr. Basically when writing the Love Potion (If you haven't read it yet, go do so now, I'll wait [The Love Potion](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10064771)) I got halfway through where I got stuck between two possible paths for the story to go. Eventually I went with the funnier route because that seemed way more fun but I did write up a short blurb on what could have happened instead. So if you're curious, just click the following link and give it a short read. [The Love Potion: How it Could have Ended](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/159359061405/alternate-storyline-to-the-love-potion)
> 
> Now, without further ado, let's continue on with the story.

You tried to jerk your head back but one of his hands entangled in your hair behind your head and held you tight. Your now free hand tried to hit his shoulder but it had very little to no effect on the skeleton.

You hated this. Your mind continued to fight the increasing warmth in your chest as the kiss continued. You were on a date with another man not even 45 minutes ago. A man who had been nothing but wonderful to you this entire evening! He hadn't even hugged you without permission you realized as your body trembled excitedly within Papyrus’ strong hold.

Yes, you must definitely were not enjoying yourself! You were Jeremy's girlfriend. At least pretending to. But still! There was the foundation of a relationship right there. Surely you couldn't discount that as you stopped striking Papyrus and instead clutched his shoulder needfully.

And Jeremy kissed you, your mind reminded you. This man who was willing to wait and work to be your boyfriend had kissed you. And maybe it wasn’t the best kiss. Actually, it was downright awful but how dense would you have to be not to see that as a gesture of romantic affection. In fact, you're sure Jeremy and you would kiss again on your next date as both of your arms wrapped around Papyrus’ neck and pulled him against your lips as you moaned in pleasure at the stimulation.

Wait a minute. Weren't you supposed to be furious? What were you doing, raising your hips off the ground to press against his? That last action however seemed to bring the Monster back to reality and he quickly broke the kiss, drawing out a shameful whine from your lips.

“Sorry. This, this isn't what was supposed to happen,” Papyrus gasped, his sockets widening as he realized what he had done.

Your head felt dizzy and your cheeks were hot to the touch. You looked up at the skeleton who concernedly watched you. “Woah,” you finally breathed.

“I need to tell you...something,” Papyrus tried to recall as he continued to take in your flushed face and still ready lips.

“Oh...Can it wait?” You found yourself asking as you tugged him back down. You were supposed to be doing something too but it appeared to have just as easily slipped your mind. Probably wasn’t that important.

Papyrus hesitated. “Yes?” He guessed, his cheek bones aglow with an orange hue.

“Great.” Through half lidded eyes, you saw his orange pupil materialize as you drew him close again.

You had just barely brushed your lips against his teeth when he stiffened and pulled himself out of your grasp. “Wait, wait, I remembered. It's important,” he gasped, his pupil flickering in and out of existence. He pulled you to your knees. “It was about our third date.”

The moment of lucid attraction melted immediately after he said that. Oh yeah. That was the reason you were not supposed to be enjoying the lip locked session. You bristled at his words. “There's nothing you could say to make up for it.”

“I followed the wrong advice.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “What are you talking about?”

“I had been following my dating handbook and Frisk's advice for dating you. Frisk was unavailable and so I had to rely on the book alone.”

You skeptically scoffed at the skeleton. “Your book told you to stand me up?”

Papyrus hesitated. “Well, I'm not sure. I didn't get that far.”

“That answer does not make sense. How do you not know advice that you followed?” You insisted

“Because I don't think it was my book!” Papyrus blurted out. He looked at you earnestly. “I think my dating book was accidentally switched with another book.”

You looked at him incredulously. “Do you really expect me to believe that?”

“Yes.”

You opened your mouth to call him an asshole. Instead you bit your lip and debated how to go about this. Maybe, maybe you were being too harsh to the skeleton who just semi sexually assaulted you. You coughed. “Do you have the book to show me?”

Papyrus looked uneasy. “No. I'm afraid it was lost that night.”

Well, so much for that. You crossed your arms. “Do you really think I just fell of the turnip truck?” You asked.

Papyrus shook his head. “Absolutely not. Otherwise you would have a couple bruises and a few turnips as well.”

You blew at some of your hair that tickled your nose. “Ugh. It means do you think I'm that gullible to believe you?”

“I’m not sure how to answer that question.”

You sighed and rubbed your fore head. “Okay, let's just say you're telling the truth and you had the wrong book...why would you have followed that advice anyway? It's terrible advice.”

Papyrus opened his jaw to speak but closed it slowly. He appeared conflicted as to what he wanted to say. You tapped your foot impatiently. “Well?”

“I have never gone on a third date before,” Papyrus admitted.

There was more to his answer that you suspected he wasn't telling you but he didn't speak further. So you thought about what he orally told you. He probably never went on a third date. And from what you had observed through your tumultuous dating with the skeleton, there were numerous instances where he clearly missed the mark with appropriate human social behavior.

As great as he claimed to be, he definitely had a certain level of awkwardness that he tried to keep to himself. And what could have been more awkward than accidentally standing up your date in front of his best friend and his brother. It didn't make sense. Even just now, he waited to give you back your shoe in private in case something embarrassing happened.

To your chagrin, his story was becoming more plausible by the second. Although the theory that his books were switched and he wouldn't have noticed was ridiculous and you discounted it. What had happened was a huge error in judgment. And whether it was accidental or intention, it still ruined the possibility of a relationship between you both.

“Okay,” you finally spoke.

“Okay?”

“I don’t believe you,” you began and Papyrus winced at this, “But I think I understand and I can forgive you but!” You added quickly as Papyrus became excited, “I definitely do not want to be your girlfriend.”

The skeleton scratched his chin. “Can you still be my friend?” He asked.

“Yeah, I think I can.”

“Nyeh heh heh! Excellent! We are now friends! Again!”

You couldn't help but laugh. His energy really was contagious. “Friends. Yeah,” you added.

“Yes. Just platonic friends...who kiss?” He inquired.

Your face went red. “Uh. No! Friends don't kiss.”

“Ah” He looked disappointed but he still appeared considerably brighter. “Well maybe one day we could become friends with benefits.”

Your eyes widened and the heat that you thought you quelled came back full force. “Wh-what?”

Papyrus nodded. “Yes. I was informed that this is another stage of friendship. Where friends do extra special things for each other. Perhaps you would allow me to do something special for you?”

Did you even try to fucking explain? No you would not even try. “Uh sure. Listen I'm going to go check on them in the back…uh maybe you should just hang out here for a bit in case there's more vomiting.”

“Ugh. Yes I would appreciate that,” Papyrus thanked, his skull appearing to cringe.

You dawdled for a second. This was really too awkward to just leave it at this. You took a deep breath and tried to ignore your belly doing the flippity flops. “Uh, actually, speaking of books…I’m not sure what type of books you’ve been reading but it’s a really, really bad idea to go kissing people without permission, especially if they’re your ex.”

Papyrus chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his skull. “I apologize for that. At the time, it seemed like the only way to have you listen to me. On hindsight, it probably was not the most thought out decision.”

“Ya think?” You snickered. “I mean, it wasn’t bad,” you admitted, resisting the urge to touch your lips which still tingled.

“Oh really?”

You pushed more hair out of your face as you continued to smile. “Sure, I always thought you kissed really well, it’s just...uh.” You felt yourself the target of a bemused grin. You have been babbling a bit there. The meaning behind your words finally caught up with your brain.

Papyrus seemed far too proud of himself. “Well, I’m pleased to hear that my smooches did not disappoint.”

You colored darkly. “Oh my God, just shut-I’m going back there. Now.” You scurried away to the back before either of you could say anything else. Way to make sure this didn’t end on an awkward note. A+ right there, moron. You walked back into the tech room and stared at the scene in front of you.

It was a war zone. If a minor bomb had gone off, you would not have been surprised. Chairs were knocked over and bent, pools of vomit on the floor, black sticky charcoal coming to tables and desks. You eyed Dr. J who held a stethoscope to Doggo's semi conscious body. Her gaze flickered up to you. “Is he going to be okay?” You asked hesitantly, pointing to the dog monster.

“Maybe. Probably,” The doctor guessed.

“He’s not moving a lot for someone who might be okay,” you observed.

“He's just worn himself out.”

“Plus she tranqued him,” Undyne helpfully offered.

“Ah.” That explained things. You looked around the room and whistled. “The janitor is going to be really mad.”

“Yes. Yes, he will. We are just monitoring him now. I'll call you when I need help moving him.”

“Sure.” Dr. J patted her pocket and pulled out a flask.

“Would you mind disposing of this? TJ keeps attempting to drink this and the last thing I want is to clean up human vomit.”

“Oh uh sure.” You took the flask and chugged its contents before handing it back to her.

The veterinarian stared at you in mild amusement. “That's not quite what I had in mind.”

You blinked. “Huh?”

“When I said dispose of, I meant the sink.”

You shrugged. “I just kissed two different guys in the last hour.” A drink seemed appropriate at this point of the night.

“Ah. Carry on. I'll come collect you when we're getting ready to leave.”

You nodded and walked out of the technician area only to slump against the hallway wall and sit down on the ground with a groan. Holy shit. Never chug unknown substances. That was straight whiskey. At least you wouldn't feel cold anytime soon. Your fingers brushed against your lips briefly, trying to wrap your mind around the recent events, only to give up and play with the fabric of your short dress. Man. What were you thinking about wearing such a short dress? A towel would have been as effective at covering you. You could have worn boots. Boots would have covered more. Like the boots in front of you.

Huh. That alcohol was more potent than you thought. Now you were imagining boots. Red ones in fact. They looked familiar.

“Human, are you alright?”

You should tell him yes. “No.”

There was a shuffle and Papyrus sat down next to you awkwardly. His legs were too long for the width of the hallway and he had to bend them awkwardly to fit. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

You sighed and laid your head on his shoulder. “Everything is too confusing,” you mumbled.

Papyrus rubbed his forehead. “Yes. The mixed signals here do not help either.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing, human. Just thinking.” You forgot how comfy Papyrus was and you snuggled your head into his shoulder. You probably would have enjoyed doing this a lot if you guys actually had started a relationship. However… “Is there anything I can explain to make things less confusing?” You could feel his chest vibrate with the sound of his voice. It was comforting.

“I don't know.” You felt something brush against your arm.

“Human, are you cold?” You nodded sleepily. A skeletal arm gently wrapped around your shoulders. You nestled in closer. He was warm. He probably would have kept you warm for many a night had you continued dating. But as it stood.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked quietly.

“Of course.”

“Did you actually like me? Before everything?”

You caught bits and pieces. The short answer seemed to be yes. Your eyes drifted closed as you settled against this all too familiar feeling presence. You missed this. You really did miss this. You mumbled a few things and Papyrus continued to speak with you. He sounded so far away. Finally, your body just gave up and you fell into a blissful, deep sleep.

########  
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Awesome fanart from you awesome guys! Go check out the links! (Now organized by chapter!)

[You've been messaged by a potential match!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/154457651419/this-is-fan-art-for-the-lovely) (Chapter 3)  
[Spay and Neuter](http://frickfishstick.tumblr.com/post/146169384613/for-smallpersiankitten-im-sorry-it-took-me-so) (Chapter 4 and 5)  
[Mace Incident Page 1](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-1-668606055) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Mace Incident Page 2](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-2-668628262) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Mace Incident Page 3](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Mace-Incident-Page-3-668630494) (Chapter 6 and 7)  
[Papyrus kisses the "Ghost" ;)](http://whoopsiesin.tumblr.com/post/146927652307/smallpersiankitten-another-piece-of-fanart-this) (Chapter 14)  
[Doodles of Lori](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145063430587/i-tried-c-some-doodles-of-lori-from-must) (Chapter 18)  
[BW and Colored Pic of Lori](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/148223293236/im-so-sorry-if-i-got-her-colors-wrong-i-will-take) (Chapter 19)  
[Lori, Undyne and Couch Cuddles!](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/145136562447/smallpersiankitten-the-neutered-scene-made-me-die) (Chapter 19 and Chapter 4)  
[Rejection Part 1](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146377176248/oh-man-bahhaahah-you-can-see-the-moment-lori) (Chapter 29)  
[Rejection Part 2](http://gingler.tumblr.com/post/146381056223/previous-told-you-i-was-gonna-do-the-second-part) (Chapter 29)  
[Shut up, i'm ignoring you!](http://notsoclosetnerd.tumblr.com/post/146923414031/smallpersiankitten-a-scene-from-the-latest) (Chapter 33)  
[Catching a human](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107361845/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-3) (Chapter 36 and 37)  
[Fighting in the Bedroom](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/149107293745/zullysdrawinghole-smallpersiankitten-holy) (Chapter 37)  
[Sans and Lori](http://boshie-toshie-art.tumblr.com/post/148523987166/i-know-this-is-a-slightly-suggestive-drawing-but-i) (Chapter 39)  
[Pink Belly Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149780012376/your-character-is-too-much-fun-to-draw-heres) (Chapter 50)  
[Cleaned up Bathing Suit](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/149859001766/i-cleaned-her-up-cause-i-realized-she-had-pink-on) (Chapter 50)  
[Sexy Bathing Suit](http://ashes-before-flame.tumblr.com/post/158836343019/smallpersiankitten-i-know-its-like-half-the) (Chapter 50)  
[Undyne Commits Vehicular Assault and Hurrah for Slow Dancing](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/151906809406/smallpersiankitten-sorry-this-took-so-long-but) (Chapter 49 and 62)  
[Dancing (Color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152350845506/smallpersiankitten-i-made-more-loooooooolt) (Chapter 62)  
[Kiss Aftermath!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/152079810496/smallpersiankitten-all-i-could-think-about-is-the?is_related_post=1) (Chapter 63)  
[I hate you!](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154716757791/smallpersiankitten-these-are-doodles-of-what-i) (Chapter 67)  
[What We Expected vs What We Got](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/154872197066/smallpersiankitten-what-we-expected-vs-what-we) (Chapter 67)  
[Nothing Left but Her Sweater](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155207536478/a-piece-i-did-for-the-wonderful-undertale)(Chapter 71)  
[Badgers and Bats](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155574902613/scene-from-chapter-78-of-must-love-animals-gotta) (Chapter 78)[How would that make you feel](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156599859686/smallpersiankitten-how-would-that-make-you) (Chapter 80)  
[How would that make you feel (color)](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/156889127656/smallpersiankitten-next-is-the-animation-i) (Chapter 80)  
[I’m Not Waiting Here For Him!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/158844093324/um-so-this-is-the-second-time-im-making-art-for) (Chapter 86)  
[Please be More Careful? (With alternate ending ;D)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/159366042514/look-another-thing-for-smallpersiankitten-and) (Chapter 93)  


No Particular Chapter

[Lori and Papy Gif](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150306890970/smallpersiankitten-lori-and-papy-for-you)  
[Lori and Papy Gif slowed down](http://zullianie-loverofall.tumblr.com/post/150306982548/smallpersiankitten-just-in-case-the-other-video)  
[Lori and Papy Gif Stills](http://zullysdrawinghole.tumblr.com/post/150307170411/the-stills-of-the-animation-smallpersiankitten)  
[Picture of Lori](https://inhalesboi.tumblr.com/image/148036281545#_=_)  
[Sketches of Lori](http://dskirin.tumblr.com/post/154846740087/lori-or-at-least-how-i-thought-she-looked-while)  
[Lori Doodle](http://emotheferret.deviantart.com/art/Lori-Must-Love-Animals-662505203)  
[A Group Shot](http://letsallbecalmchaps.tumblr.com/post/154093335101/ive-delayed-uploading-this-for-too-long)  
[](https://b-b-b-bonezoned.tumblr.com/)  
[Jeremy Profile Sketches](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/159407005720/you-know-what-i-have-never-attemptedseen-a)  


Outside of Must Love Animals

[NSFW The Werewolf (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155214345913/a-piece-done-for-the-wonderful) (The Halloween Camping Trip - Chapter 15)  
[ Jack the Christmas Cat (SPOILER)](https://silverpuppy9.tumblr.com/post/155248837933/guess-who-decided-to-vomit-colors-all-over-their) The One Eyed Christmas Kitten - Chapter 4)  
[The Love Potion: How it Could have Ended](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/159359061405/alternate-storyline-to-the-love-potion)  



	95. Hungover and Hung Up on Last Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter/Chocolate Bunny Egg Day everyone!! I hope you all are having fun!
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter and remember to hunt eggs responsibly.

You woke up with a groan. “Goddamn motherfucking...what time is it?” You mumbled, reaching for your phone. Only to remember you didn’t have your phone. You grabbed your alarm clock and stared blearily at it. It was around nine in the morning. That felt like way too early to be up. You caught a look at yourself in the reflection of the clock and blinked in surprise. Once again, you had crashed in your bed in date clothes. If you had any shame left at this point, you would certainly be rolling in it. But as of now, you were alone and could just wallow in your own disgrace. You rolled off the bed with a groan and slipped off your dress. You unclasped your bra and tossed it over your nightstand. Your underwear followed shortly thereafter. 

Your head did not hurt nearly as much as you thought it would and you walked out of the bedroom and into your bathroom. You stepped into the shower and let out deep sigh as the hot water drenched you. Last night was exciting to say the least. And if you were being honest with yourself, Papyrus made one hell of a nurse. You actually made a great team. If the Royal Guard didn’t pan out, you’d totally recommend him as a vet assistant. 

Man, you really had some difficulty remembering bits after saving Doggo. Had Papyrus really kissed you again? You brushed your lips with your tongue and you could have sworn you tasted bone. He really was a good kisser...not that you enjoyed the kiss at all. And even he insisted it was a way to get your attention....which worked. You sighed as rinsed your hair. His explanation that he read the wrong advice. It seemed impractical, yet he appeared so earnest in insisting it, you couldn’t help but begrudgingly agree. 

You turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. You grabbed a towel, ruffled your hair a bit with it before wrapping it around yourself, tucking it snugly just above your nipples. You spotted your vibrator on the bed. Oh yeah, you had fully intended to make good use of that last night but the search for batteries had depleted what time you had to actually have a little fun riding the electric pony. You briefly considered using it now but realized that you actually felt strangely satisfied at the moment. You were more of hungry at this point. 

Breakfast sounded good right now. You must have been hungrier than you thought because you swore you could smell something cooking. You thought for a moment about putting on a nightie but shrugged. You weren’t fully dry yet and your curtains were closed so you weren’t going to expose yourself to anyone. Still, you slipped on some underwear and adjusted your towel securely.

You walked out, humming and paused. Your television was on. Had you turned it on last night? Why did you turn it on? Did you try to watch something? The DVD player was on too. You wondered what you watched. You let your towel untie and slip off your breasts as you bent over to pop out the movie to see what it was.

A loud clatter in the kitchen made you stop and you turned around curiously. You screamed and grasped at your towel protectively. “Pap-Papyrus?!” You shrieked. 

Papyrus! Papyrus was in your kitchen! Wearing your apron! Your pink, frilly apron you had totally bought as a gag gift and not in an attempt to impress a guy via sexy chef roleplay only for him to laugh and you kicked him out. Shit. You didn’t even know where you had stashed that apron, but you knew now! He looked just as freaked out as you. 

“G-good morning, uh!” He exclaimed, his voice jumping a pitch. He looked at your body briefly before coloring. He deftly opened the cupboard nearest to him and stuck his head in like an ostrich burying its head in sand. You looked down at yourself and realized you were exposed. You clutched your towel to your chest in a desperate attempt to cover yourself and hid behind the couch, allowing your head to peek out. Papyrus risked a look outside of the cupboard and looked rather relieved. “Forgive me, human, I did not mean to see you like that.”

“What are you doing here?!”

“Ah. Yes. The kitchen. I thought I would make us breakfast.”

“I meant my apartment! What are you doing in my apartment?”

“Ah. Well. Your neighbor asked me to guard you.”

“Guard me?” You asked.

“Yes, your lock disappeared and we were unable to lock you in. Your neighbor-”

“Wait, wait, wait!” You held up a hand. “What do you mean my lock disappeared?”

“Well. It could have been removed. But either way, it has vanished,” Papyrus explained. You stared incredulously at him. You retied your towel and seized your purse off the table. 

“Is this a joke?” You stood in front of the door and fished your keys out, some of the contents of your purse spilling out as well. You jammed in the key and turned only to watch in horror as your door refused to lock. 

You stared dumbly at the door. Holy shit. He was right. Your door did not lock. Had you missed a maintenance note or something about this? You knelt down to pick up your purse's contents and your fingers rubbed against something plastic and small. You don't remember putting anything like that in your purse. You picked it up. 

It was a condom. Why was there a condom here? You did not put this in here. Nobody had given you a condom as far as you remembered. Hell, you don’t even remember asking for one. Someone must have slipped it into your bag. Which meant someone intended on having sex with you last night. And didn't want to tell you. 

“Yes you see...eh, human?” The words clicked into place and you whirled around, holding up the condom. 

“What the fuck is this?” You demanded.

Papyrus hesitantly approached you to look at the object. “Ah. That is a condom!” He announced proudly, relaxing significantly.

“Why is there a condom in my purse?”

Papyrus scratched his chin. “Are you having difficulty remembering last night?”

That was the wrong answer. Your eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Maybe...Why?” Papyrus looked conflicted and your mind began racing. You looked back and forth between him and the condom. Did you have sex? Could there have been more than one prophylaxis in here? Or did you both proceed without? You swallowed hard and tried to keep your voice from wavering. “Did, did we have...sex?” Your voice came out almost a whisper. 

“Pardon?”

“Did we have sex?” You asked, your voice a little bit stronger.

Your question caught the skeleton off guard and he cleared his throat. “No, I don't believe so.” 

“Don't believe so? Papyrus, you either know you did or know you didn't, you know?”

“Then how come you don't know?” Papyrus countered. 

“I don't know.” You paced anxiously before pointing to his pelvis. “Did you put anything there into here?!” You demanded, pointing to your own crotch.

“No!” Papyrus quickly answered and your chest unclenched. You sat on the couch and ran your hands through your hair.

Papyrus carefully sat next to you, making sure not to sit nor step on your towel and took the condom from you. “Why did you ask about sex? Does this have to do with sex?”

Ah. So he knew what sex was. Of course he would. You forgot he was no longer a virgin. But he still had some grey areas. “This is used for sex.”

“Ah. Yes. I knew that. It is a protection device for your...body…” His voice trailed off.

“You have no idea what this is, do you?”

“No, not really.”

“It goes on the guy's dick to help stop pregnancy and disease transmission.”

Papyrus moved an inch away from you. “Human women carry disease?”

You snorted. “Oh, fuck off. No. Some do. I don't,” you argued. 

“Language,” Papyrus finally corrected you, scooting back toward you. He appraised you critically. “How would you not remember having sex?”

“I drank a lot.”

“Drinking shouldn't cause memory loss.”

“Alcohol. I drank human alcohol. Drinking large amounts of alcohol can lead to memory loss and make you do things you would not normally do.”

Papyrus looked immediately relieved. “Oh wowie. Nyeh heh heh, that explains a lot.”

“What does it explain?” 

Papyrus shut his teeth. “Nothing.”

“That nothing doesn’t seem too convincing,” You pressed. He did a double take at your response before choosing his words carefully.

“You did some things,” he admitted.

“Were those things sex?”

“No…”

“Tell me.”

“I'd rather not say. It was embarrassing,” he explained.

Oh, now you had to know. Your eyes narrowed. “Seriously, tell me right now.”

“It was really awkward,” he tried to placate you.

“I'm going to make things a lot more awkward if you don't tell me.” How were you going to manage that?

Your unsure threat put him immediately on guard. He tensed. “You wouldn't.”

Your mind raced for a few moments before you settled on the first thing you could think of. You stared at him sternly. “I will climb into your lap and purr.” …You were not a morning thinker now, were you?

That was enough of a threat. He shrank into the side “You unbanned me and well…”

“Yes?” You prompted, crawling a bit closer. 

There was a knock at the door and it swung open before he could finish. You blinked at the intrusion of daylight and your eyes took a moment to focus. 

Kaylie walked in, followed by her family. She blinked in surprise as you appeared to be almost stalking Papyrus like some form of naked tiger. “Oh. Wow. One moment.” She quickly ushered her family back outside. Papyrus took the moment to jump off the couch and you buried your head in your hands. 

“You're right, that was awkward,” Papyrus assured you. 

“Oh my God, shut up,” you moaned. Kaylie walked back in with a relieved smile on her face. 

“Good morning! I'm going to assume that you were practicing a stretch?”

“Actually, she was trying to threaten me,” Papyrus corrected.

“Seriously, Pap, shut up.”

“I just came by to see how you were doing. I'm sure you already know but in case he didn't tell you, your door doesn't work.”

“Yes, I got that when you just walked in right now.”

“Cool. Well I called the landlord and a locksmith is coming over in about 30 minutes. Would you like to come with us in the meantime so you're not alone?”

“Where are you guys going?” You asked.

“Well our temple is having a picnic over on Roger's Park.”

“Pfft. Pass.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“You really are willing to face the possibility of potential burglary and injury just to avoid a church picnic?”

“Yes.”

“Well alright. If you're sure,” Kaylie shrugged.

“Plus, I got Pap at least for the next 5 minutes before I kick him out,” you gestured.

“I can stay longer. I really don't mind,” Papyrus offered. 

“I do, so don't worry about it,” you pushed. 

“Could you please stay with her until they fix the door?” Kaylie asked hopefully.

“Of course.”

You looked back and forth between the two. “What am I, chopped liver?”

“No, you're a human,” he explained to you matter of factly.

It was a losing battle and you quickly accepted defeat. But not very gracefully. “Fine. Fuck it. I'm going to change. Bye, Kaylie!”

“Bye!”

“Say sorry to your in laws for almost flashing them, will you?”

“Of course.”

You wandered back into your bedroom and ditched the towel. You began to search for a more comfortable bra as you thought about what you learned this morning. Someone slipped a condom into your purse last night. And it was not Papyrus. 

The only other male that could have any reason for doing this would have been Jeremy. That was pretty ballsy for him to attempt a stunt like that. Unfortunately, the thought of sex with Jeremy still felt almost incestual vibe to it. Added with slipping the condom, you felt a bitter taste in your throat thinking of it. Should you talk to him about it? Or would that just make the rest of dance class awkward? 

“Where the heck is my bra?” You grumbled, interrupting your own thoughts. You could have sworn you left it on the ground by your closet. But now it was gone. Actually in general it did appear that your floor overall was much cleaner than you had left it last night. You hadn’t cleaned in a while. 

“Can humans really transform?” You turned around to see Papyrus walking into your room. You made eye contact, saw his sockets flicker down to your naked chest and then immediately cover his eyes. 

“Really?” You asked. You didn’t even have coffee in your system. Nothing really fazed you anymore. “Papyrus, did you clean my room?”

“Yes.” He answered affirmatively, turning around to face the exit of your bedroom. 

“Do you know where my black bra went? It was right here.”

“Bra?”

“Er, battle ready attachment?” 

“Yes, I put it in your laundry hamper.”

“Cool, thanks.” You walked over to the hamper to retrieve. 

“You’re not going to wear dirty laundry, are you?” Papyrus exclaimed. 

“Uhhhh….yes?” You sheepishly admitted. Papyrus turned around quickly. He looked rather irate.

“That’s very unsanitary! Don’t you have a washing machine?” He asked, placing his hands on his hips as he stared you down. Your nakedness seemed less important than your laundry habits. 

“Not in my apartment!” You argued, “It’s down the walkway.”

“That’s not far,” Papyrus argued.

“For me it is! Do you know how heavy my laundry bag is?” You asked, pointing to the bag. 

“Here.” In one long stride, Papyrus stood immediately in front of you. You balked at the sudden closeness and made a motion to cover yourself. Instead, he seized your laundry bag and hoisted it up easily. He grabbed the other pieces of laundry lying about and stuffed them in the bag. “Quarters?”

“What?”

“Does it take quarters?”

You nodded dumbly and pointed to your jar of quarters. The skeleton scooped up a handful. He looked at you determinedly. 

“Where's your detergent?”

“Uh... I'll show you.” You led him to the bathroom and handed him the bottle. You were still naked. 

“Bleach?”

“Bleach?”

“For your whites.”

“My what now?”

Papyrus clicked his teeth at you. “Ah. Right. We'll need to fix that.” He walked past you to your door. “I will return shortly.” And with that, he walked outside, leaving you alone. And still naked. 

The skeleton you used to date was doing your laundry for you. Yup. Nope. Nothing you could even say to that. You shrugged and went back to your closet, slipping on a shirt and some junk shorts. You returned to your living room and sat on the couch. You twiddled your thumbs. This was...different. 

Papyrus returned a few minutes later. He said nothing to you initially, choosing instead to walk to your microwave. You heard the beeping of buttons being pressed as he set a 30 minute timer. He walked back to the couch, sat down next you and didn't look at you. He looked slightly flustered. He probably just realized that he had carried on a two minute conversation with you while you were stark naked.

“Uh, Papyrus?” You tried.

“Yes?”

“Did you find everything okay?”

“Ah yes. Of course. No laundry room is too difficult for the Great Papyrus to figure out.”

“Oh okay.”

“Nothing off putting happened. Absolutely everything is fine,” he insisted.

Papyrus was such a terrible liar. You sighed. No point in pushing. It seems you weren’t going to get any more answers about any past events for the time being. You resigned yourself to that and broke into a self-conscious smile. 

“Well, thanks for doing that.” You coughed awkwardly. “Uh, can I get you some tea or coffee?”

“Tea, please.” 

“Cool, uh, make yourself comfy I guess?” And with that you rose to start some water boiling, leaving the Skeleton alone on the couch, dwelling in his thoughts about last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, anyone got any theories about what happened last night based on this chapter? (There are some clues).
> 
> I especially wonder how the evening went on Papyrus' end? 
> 
>  
> 
> ....Would any of you like to find out? ;)
> 
> Fanart Link: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	96. Mini Chapter: Things Not Best Forgotten (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you all are surviving midterms and things these last two weeks!
> 
> Unfortunately, this is not a long chapter, but hopefully its content will give you a short giggle respite from studying!! :D

Last night...

Papyrus coughed nervously. He hadn't been nervous before. In fact, restraining and medicating a somewhat feral Doggo had seemed like a cake walk compared to how the rest of this evening was panning out. Yet, at this moment, he was sweating bullets. He had no idea what to do. He hadn't anticipated you allowing him to be this close to you for this long. Granted, in class you were practically holding on to him, but that was a class with other people who were also doing the same. 

Well, maybe not quite the same. In fact, it actually seemed that you both were connected to the hip when you danced. And now that you were his partner? He could expect the same treatment every class session. Wowie, he...really had no idea how to feel about that. Anxious? Excited? Both? Yes, both. Anxited. That was a word, right? It should be word. It was definitely a word. He should check his phone. He shifted in an attempt to pull it out but froze. You were lying against him. How did he forget that you were right here? If you were aware of his presence, you did not make much of an acknowledgement. Clearly your thoughts were muddled by the rather tumultuous turn of events. Perhaps he should try to get up. 

“Did you actually like me? Before everything?”

Oh. You WERE aware that he was here. He also hadn’t anticipated you asking that question. Panic briefly seized him before he cleared his throat. Honesty was the best policy. “Well my feelings for you were definitely not platonic. Not to say I didn't have feelings for you,” he quickly clarified, “They were ah, romantic in nature.” He probably could have put that better.

You seemed barely conscious but nodded in response to his answer. He felt you nestle closer against his chest. “I missed you,” you muttered, barely above a whisper.

Papyrus’ sockets widened at your admission. If he hadn’t been so close to you, he probably wouldn't have heard it all. He sighed. “I missed you too,” he admitted. He felt his soul thrum contently with you nestled up against him. “I never meant to hurt you,” he continued, looking at the wall in front of him. He hesitated. Should he share his suspicions? He swallowed and pushed forward nervously. 

“I-i want to share something with you. The advice I followed that night, I think it was false advice. Words that were meant to do the exact opposite of what I wanted. I mean, it's good advice if you want to hurt someone, but it was terrible advice to ask you to go steady.” You remained quiet and Papyrus felt himself sweat anxiously. What time was it? It felt late. Perhaps he should stop now and save the rest for the morning? He compelled himself onward.

“I didn't read my whole book. But the advice I read before was good. Mostly. I always had that book on me until I loaned it to your friend. And when he returned it and I followed the 3rd Date instructions...well you know.” Well, here goes nothing.

“The point is, I think your friend gave me the wrong book.” Papyrus groaned. “But he's so polite and kind to you that I feel horrible for even thinking that about him, much more so saying it now. Plus, we both agreed we wanted you happy and… yet the book he gave me back did the exact opposite.” Papyrus chuckled without humor. “But the more I think about it, it's the only thing that makes sense.”

“I'm not saying it wasn't my fault. I am the one who took the advice,” he quickly admitted. “I just feel that I...we were sabotaged.” Papyrus waited for you to say something but you were silent. Uh oh. He had upset you. “I said too much,” he tried to back pedal, “I hope I haven't upset you further...human?”

A soft snore broke out from your figure and Papyrus stopped to listen. “Human, are you awake?”

Another snore.

Papyrus sat there, flabbergasted. “You-you’ve been asleep this entire time?” He groaned. “You didn't hear a single word I said, did you?”

He was sorely tempted to smack his head against the wall in frustration but resisted the urge to do so. You must have been tired. Those shoes you were wearing really didn't seem all that comfortable too. It was probably a good thing you didn't hear him. He had no way of proving this theory and you'd accuse him of being...well envious? 

He knew monsters could be envious of each other's stuff but to be envious of their romantic partner was absurd. Yet, if Papyrus had to be honest, he couldn't help but feel envious of your friend right now. You still laughed and smiled with Jeremy. He could hug and hold you whenever he felt like it. He could probably kiss you too if he hadn't already. 

The only way Papyrus had recently managed to do any of these things with you was through force. And even though you seemed to enjoy it, you never asked for it. Even now, as he pressed your smiling sleeping figure against his chest, he felt like he was stealing affection that did not belong to him. 

Yet, despite all the guilt, he did not move lest he break this moment. If he could, he would stay here for hours just to soak in your smile and comfort you gave off because he knew this would probably be his last opportunity to do this. 

He really shouldn't let you sleep in the hallway. It was probably dirty. You'd probably want to sleep in your own bed. “Human, do you have a ride home?” He asked quietly. You mumbled something incoherent.

“Papyrus, is it?” He looked up to see the doctor who had given the injection. 

“Yes, I am the Great Papyrus,” he answered matter of factly. Honesty really was the best policy at the moment. 

“Yes...would you be able to take her home? I told her I would if you didn't want to but it'll be a tight fit in my car. Ideally I want to deal with only one inebriated human. That is, if you know where she lives.”

“Oh he knows alright,” Undyne chuckled as she walked out into the hallway as well. “She maced him there.”

The doctor shook her head. “I don't even want to ask.”

“Yes you do,” Undyne prompted. 

“Okay, maybe I do,” the vet admitted, “but not now.” She returned her attention back to Papyrus. “So are you able to bring her home?”

“Yes I can.” He jostled you gently and you groaned. “Come, human, I'm going to take you home.”

“Whose?” You mumbled. 

“Excuse me?”

“Whose home?” You asked as he lifted you to your feet.

“Well, yours,” Papyrus answered shooting a confused glance at Undyne who shrugged. “Is that okay? You nodded. Worry began to gnaw at his core. Had you wanted to return to your date? He hadn’t accounted for that at all. Where did he even live? And even if he knew where he lived, the idea of handing you back in your compromised position into your date’s arms filled him with a sense of revulsion. He realized he had clutched you rather tightly and loosened his hold. No, no. That wasn’t right. Papyrus asked the question he did not want to ask. “Do you want me to take you somewhere else..back to your date?”

“No.” Papyrus didn't need to ask you twice. 

“Good,” He affirmed quickly. He didn't even try to disguise his pleasure at your answer. You already were falling back asleep. 

“Yeah, I don't think she's walking to your car,” Undyne observed as you started to slip down again. 

Papyrus sighed and scooped you up bridal style before you could lie back down on the ground. “Right, come along.” 

“You smell good,” you mumbled, your head nuzzling against his exposed cervical vertebrae. He felt his cheekbones heat up.

“Way to go, Cassanova,” Undyne smirked. Papyrus quickly walked away so he friend did not spot him blushing. 

He just about brought you to the front door when you suddenly flailed. “Wait!” You pushed against his chest and he immediately stopped. 

“What is it?” He asked worriedly. Had you forgotten something back there? He was already balancing your purse on his forearm.

“... geturohoto.”

He had no idea what you just said. “I don't understand.”

You spoke, a little more clearly this time. “Get your photo.”

Papyrus hesitated. He had a sneaking suspicion that you were mentally compromised at the moment. “I don't think you really want me to get it.”

You giggled. “I gonna scream.” Papyrus quickly deposited you on one of the couches and retrieved the “photo” of himself. Your head barely nodded but you seemed to smile at the photo. “Gimmee.”

Papyrus handed you the photo and you blinked blearily at it for a moment.

RIP!!

You just tore the photo in half. You put the pieces on top of each other and proceeded to tear them in quarters. 

“Wait!”

“Shhh”. Now the photo was in 8ths. 

16ths “Do you know what-?” He protested.

“Hush puppy.” 32nds?

“What are you doing?” Papyrus finally asked as you started at a pile of colorful slips of paper.

“Making spaghetti...confetti.” You tossed the small fragments of paper into the air. “Whee,” you added as most of the paper pieces fell on you.

Papyrus stared at you in astonishment. “Does this mean I'm unbanned?” He asked incredulously.

You winked at him. “Possibly, why don't you come closer and I'll tell you?”

“Eh…” There was something unsettling about the way you said that. He moved an inch closer. “Is this enough?”

“Nu uh. Closer.” He shuffled forward nervously. “Closerrrr!”

“Will this do?” He asked as he stood directly to you. You stood up shakily and seized his scarf. “Ah! Hold on!” Papyrus gasped as you pulled him down to your face. 

“You're unbanana. Now hold still!” You leaned forward and he instinctively closed his eyes. Perhaps you wanted to kiss him after all. He felt your breath on his skull and he shivered. Another second passed. And then felt something wet ran along his face. 

He pulled back immediately and watched you in barely disguised repulsion as you drew your tongue back in. 

“Did-did you just...lick me?”

You giggled. He was horrified.

“I cannot believe you did that.” He growled as he hoisted you over his shoulder. 

“Wheeeeee!”

“You are incredibly immature.” He scolded as you both exited the hospital. “I am very tempted to put a leash on you if you're going to behave like a dog.”

“I bet you'd like that.” You whined near his skull.

“No. No I would not.” Papyrus quickly deposited you in the car seat. He entered the driver's side and sat down. He glanced at you to see you had leaned over to his side. 

“Woof.” 

“Stop that.” He turned on the car, glanced at you again and sighed, “And put your seatbelt on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be much longer, I promise! Thank you for your patience! 
> 
> And yes, that Part 1 means we still have some more of the night to explore! :D
> 
> Fanart link: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	97. Mini Chapter: Things Not Best Forgotten (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter is har! Papyrus gets us home! Smooth sailing from here on out, right?
> 
> OH! We have two INSANE fanarts from[peanutbutter-n-meli](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/) again!!
> 
> The first one is from Chapter 78 Newton's Third Law with some Papyton dancing and a jelly reader: [Dance Attack!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/159861600594/wowiee-more-must-love-animals-fan-art-for) (Chapter 78)  
> The second one, she broke out all the colors! :D Slightly nsfw for tasteful nudity, but oh my god, go check this out: [Handcuffed and Collared (Slightly NSFW)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/159857389644/smallpersiankitten-i-went-all-out-on-colors-for)  
> Give her some love if you haven't already. She also writes on AOA, so go check out her story [Bone Appétit](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5460209/chapters/12622472) (especially if you're looking to fill your Sans/reader fix)
> 
> On the topic of artwork, I've realized it looks way too clunky to keep putting it in the chapter section of each story. Plus, it makes the chapter seem much longer than it actually is, which is disappointing. >.< So, I've made a new "story" which will list all of the fan art so all you have to do is click the link in the end notes and it will take you to the master list which will be updated as more artwork is added.
> 
> Whoot! Good luck on finals and midterms still!! You guys can do it!

“Uh... good evening?” Papyrus had barely reached your front door before the sound of a woman caught his attention. He turned toward the source and spotted your neighbor watching him curiously. 

“Oh! Good evening to you too, human neighbor friend!” Papyrus greeted.

“Yes. I am Kaylie. Would you tell me why you're carrying my unconscious neighbor into her home?” 

Papyrus glanced at your heavily sedated form he had hoisted over his shoulder (you had not attempted to lick him again thankfully) and shifted your weight slightly. “Ah yes. Well the human was on a date with her, eh, date and she had to go to her hospital to help out a friend of mine. She was unable to drive herself home tonight for...reasons.” Papyrus was hesitant to say you were drunk, even if it was true. 

He didn't need to. Kaylie nodded. “Yeah, she's pretty drunk. Let me help you get her in...um not that I don't trust you or anything.”

“No, please do. I can't find her keys in her purse,” Papyrus gratefully thanked, giving her the purse. Kaylie opened your purse and quickly fished out your keys...and a small balloon packet. Although Papyrus had doubts about its actually identity as watched Kaylie’s face falter. “What is that?” He asked. 

“This isn't yours?” Papyrus shook his head. Kaylie coughed nervously. “It's a condom.”

Papyrus peered at it curiously. “Is it like a balloon?”

She shook her head. “No, uh, it’s uh a sex thing.”

“Oh.”

“…actually, I don’t really use them." She glanced around anxiously, "Let's just get her inside and I'll try to explain.”

Kaylie put the key in and pushed the door open carefully. Papyrus followed her in, being careful to avoid smacking your head against the doorway. He immediately noticed the fantastic display of roses sitting in a rather unique looking vase on your table. 

“Oh! Wow, those are rather lovely, aren’t they?” he admired. 

The sober adult female spotted the pitcher of flowers on the table. “Oh yes. Those are rather nice. At least $300.”

“$300?!” Papyrus gasped as your neighbor set your purse next to the flowers. Oh wow. It was becoming abundantly clear that possessing lots of money certainly helped as far as dating was concerned. He felt his chest clench up. Sure, there was a stipend for guards in training, but nothing that could afford a bouquet that fantastic. You stirred, catching his attention again. Right. Priorities. Get you comfortable. He spotted the couch and made a motion to place you there.

“You might as well put her on the bed,” Kaylie suggested. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes...you're not going to do anything weird, right?”

“Well I was planning on taking off her shoes and putting a blanket on her...would that be inappropriate?”

Kaylie stared at Papyrus before she started smiling. “That's just fine. Go ahead.” 

Papyrus brought you into your bedroom and looked around. The last time he had been in here, he had been with the other human, trying to fix your door. He hadn’t been in since...and it was probably just as well. It was messy, he noted unhappily, but not nearly as terrible as what Sans did to their own home. He placed you on the bed and cringed as you immediately fell over with a flop and a snore. He removed your now unique pair of shoes and placed them near the closet. He thought about teasing you about your cleaning habits before returning to your sleeping form.

He couldn’t help but notice how tired you looked. You must have been exhausted. He picked up the corner of your covers and gently draped them over your unconscious body. You relaxed and nestled comfortably. It almost made up for the fact that your room was dirty. 

Papyrus couldn't help but pick up some of your laundry and throw it in the hamper. He had just finished folding a sweater when Kaylie popped in, looking rather concerned. 

“What's taking you so long?” she asked suspiciously. 

“I'm just cleaning up a little bit,” Papyrus whispered, pointing to the mess. 

“Oh. Wow. You actually are.” Kaylie noted with some surprise. 

“Yes. What else is there to do in a bedroom but sleep and clean?” Papyrus laughed.

“Uh…”

“I forgot bedtime stories!” He added.

“You're a real person, right?”

“No. Just a real Monster.”

“Well, I'm sure cleaning can wait. We should probably leave. I'll just lock her in and give her the keys tomorrow.”

“What a clever plan. I'm sure she would appreciate your thoughtfulness if she was consciously able to do so.” Papyrus gave your head a friendly pat and followed the other human out into the living room. “Thank you, human for assisting me in getting her home,” he thanked as they left the apartment and Kaylie went to lock the door. 

“Oh, it’s not a problem. I'm just glad she got home...safe?” She looked curiously at the door and twisted the key back and forth. “I can't lock the door.”

Papyrus noted she seemed confused and helpfully added, “Ah yes locks can be quite difficult for beginners. However, here is a tip that works for most locks. Turn the key to the right.”

Kaylie stared at the lock. “I am. But it's just spinning in place. See?” She emphasized the point by turning the key to the right and then jostling the handle. Your door swung wide open. 

The skeleton monster cocked his head curiously at the door and knelt down to examine the lock. He looked at the side of the door and grinned. “Ah ha! See! Here's the solution. The cylinders have been removed from the lock.”

“What?!” Kaylie knelt down and peered in where the skeleton pointed. Sure enough, the inner part of the lock and the deadbolt were completely gone. “How is this possible? Didn't I unlock it?”

“Actually no,” papyrus recalled. “You put the key in but did not turn. 

Kaylie paled. “Then her door has been unlocked this entire night...someone could have broken in.”

“Perhaps they thought they were home and broke the lock, realized their mistake and left?”

“The entire lock is gone, Papyrus. There's no damage to the door nor walls. This lock was deliberately removed. Someone wanted to get in!” She gasped and looked at the skeleton. “What if they're still in there with her?”

Papyrus paused for a moment. “I see.” He took a deep breath and then burst back into your apartment, followed closely by Kaylie. The two began a thorough inspection of the apartment. Everything was overturned and opened. Tables, chairs, sofa cushions, dishwasher, stoves...nothing was left untouched. The two practically collapsed on the couch with a huge sigh. 

“Well...I think it's safe to say there’s no one here,” Kaylie breathed. 

“Except for us,” Papyrus admitted. 

“God, we can't leave her alone,” Kaylie shook her head. “But I can't take her to my place. Not in the condition she's in. My in laws are over and I barely have room for myself.” Kaylie wiped her brow nervously. “I could stay but if someone came in...I have no self defense training.”

“Oh! I could give you a few lessons!” Papyrus offered helpfully. 

“Lessons?”

“Oh yes! I've been training everyday! We can do a warm up exercise.”

“Training? Training for what?”

“For Royal Guard Duty!” Papyrus declared proudly, “You see!’

Kaylie jumped up excitedly. “You're a Royal Guard?”

“Eh, well,” Papyrus admitted. 

“You! You could stay here and guard her!” She cheered. 

“Nyeh...are you sure?”

“Absolutely! I can't think of her being any safer than being protected by a Royal Guard.”

Papyrus coughed. “Yes. She would be very safe if she was protected by a Royal Guard.”

“Wonderful! Thank you! If you need anything, please knock on this wall.” Kaylie explained, pointing to the wall connecting your and her apartment. “I'll come right over.”

“A secret communication method,” Papyrus couldn't help but admire, “How clever.”

“Yeah. It was her idea. Works really well if either of I had visitors or bad dates she needed to get rid of,” Kaylie explained. 

“Ah.” As far as he knew, you had never knocked on the wall for him. 

“I'll come by around noon tomorrow. Hopefully she will be awake by then.”

Papyrus gasped. “Noon? That's so late! Surely she would be awake by then?”

Kaylie bit her lip. “Hopefully?” She walked to the door and gave him a thumbs up. “Don't make me regret this, ok?” She left the apartment and Papyrus’ shoulders sagged. 

Well, this was not how his evening was supposed to go. Although to be honest, he wasn't really sure what his evening was supposed to be like. For all he knew, it could have been worse. 

He wandered back into your room and sat on the edge of your bed. Maybe it was supposed to be like this? “Are you awake?” He asked, shaking your leg gently. You snored. Most likely not. Hopefully you wouldn't be too surprised to see him in the morning. 

Your bed was larger than his. How did a human smaller than himself decide that they needed a large bed? Maybe it was just a female human thing. Frisk's bed was certainly not this big. Papyrus noted with some trepidation that you could fit another human next to you. He wondered if you had. 

Not that it was any of his business, he reminded himself. That was your personal life. Then again, he used to be part of your personal life as well. Would you have had him over for a sleepover if you both had continued dating? Should he consider this a sleepover now? 

He probably should get off your bed before any other ideas popped into his cranium. Papyrus cast one last look at the empty spot next to you before he stood up. Call it a hunch, but he was pretty sure that spot was just big enough for him as well. Yes. Now was the time to leave your room.

A knock at your front door caught his attention. “Hello, I'll be just a moment!” He called out loudly before he could stop himself. He snapped his head back down nervously but you were still asleep. That was a relief. But who was at your door? Kaylie said she would communicate via wall? Perhaps she had forgotten. 

He shut your bedroom door after him and walked to the front door. He opened it and looked out in confusion. There was nobody there. He looked both ways, scratched his head and shut the door. That was odd. He scowled. It was probably some young prankster who wanted to wake up neighbors for fun. It seems like something Sans would do. 

Oops. He had forgotten about Sans. He pulled out his phone and texted his brother. “At lori’s house. Spending night guarding. Leftovers in fridge.” He hit send and dragged over a chair. He propped it under the door knob. This would prevent anyone from just walking in and God forbid, someone did try to force the door open, it would make such a ruckus that Papyrus would be alerted immediately. 

He sat on your couch and attempted to make himself comfy. Unfortunately, your preference toward larger things did not extend to your sofa and he found his legs dangling off. Papyrus sighed and looked over at your television. He spotted a DVD sitting out. Perhaps it was something you were planning to watch? He took the DVD and studied it. Ah! It was an anime! Perhaps Alphys loaned it to you that day the ceiling collapsed. 

Surely you wouldn’t mind too much if he watched it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This evening probably raises even more questions than we had to begin with. >.<
> 
> And it's not even over yet! (After all, good things come in 3's. ;)
> 
> Next chapter will be NSFW. And the more hyped I get about this, the dirtier it's going to be 3:) <= (That's a devil happy face because I'm happy to show sin.)
> 
> Can't wait for the next chapter? Here's a hint. When Lori asked about possible sexy times between her and Papyrus, he answered her 100% honestly. 
> 
> Fanart Master List: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	98. Mini Chapter: Things Not Best Forgotten (Part 3) (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys got me hyped. That being said, I thoroughly hope you enjoy the conclusion to this evening!
> 
> Remember,  
> ctrl + F for *** to skip past NSFW parts.
> 
> Whole chapter is pretty much NSFW...

***  
“Ready for Round number two?” A dark and scary voice called out loudly. He quickly grabbed the remote and fumbled with it until he turned down the volume. Oops. You must have stopped it playing mid way through and it had resumed where it had left off. He wouldn't want to miss any crucial plot. He better figure out how to rewind it. He looked up briefly as he messed with the remote some more and stared.

It was a rather good looking human. Kind of a spooky voice for a human but humans had a lot of different dialects so he wasn’t really surprised by that. He was definitely far more aware of the completely naked female human sprawled underneath him, her body red with exertion. Her hands stuck out in dramatic protestation.

“Oh, please, let me rest, you are the most savage of this intense lovemaking!” The girl cried as she threw herself backwards onto the plush bed. This was different. Not quite what he expected, but a human having illicit material of other humans doing this was apparently the norm judging by what he was seeing online. You were with a human, should he really be surprised that you desired another human? His glove flickered over the stop button. Should he stop this? Another noise caught his attention and Papyrus instinctively stood to attention. There was a groan coming from your bedroom. Had you woken up? Were you alright? He tried to ignore the warmth that was quickly pooling in his nether regions at the sensual cries of the woman on the television and instead walked to your bedroom door. He peered in and his jaw nearly unhinged.

The blankets he’d covered you with so carefully lay crumpled at the base of the bed. Your knees bent, inadvertently exposing your sex to him. Well, not quite. The lacy underwear he spotted earlier was still there but it barely covered your nether regions. But there was something else your hands clutched and pressed against your sex. He neared cautiously. It was an object of some kind that emitted a low vibration noise. It was after a particularly rough buck of your hips that he realized that the groans he overheard were actual moans.

Intrigued, he advanced somewhat and studied the device. This must be one of those toys Toriel spoke of. It had to be. You squirmed into it desperately, another moan slipping out as it pulsated against your pelvis. He shouldn’t be watching this. You weren’t really awake. He immediately stepped out of your bedroom, leaning against the wall outside of your door. When had he started breathing this heavily? He felt positively roasted. The heat finally demanded his attention as he felt painfully tight in his own pelvis. He observed himself and froze. There was an orange glow emanating from his other nether regions. One that was regrettably familiar to him. His sockets darted back to your bedroom. He, ah, he couldn’t deal with this right now. He was in your home. What if you woke up? You’d call him a pervert or..or…

Another moan resulted in another painful twitch from below and he stifled a groan at the sensation. Maybe if he was fast, he could take care of this? His hands trembled as he freed his member from the constraints of his battle body and found himself transfixed on the unnatural collection of magic before him. He gulped and clumsily grabbed the appendage only to sharply gasp as he accidentally squashed the tip. He tried to relax. He needed to. He should concentrate on something else.

“Oh! Please take me gently.”

“I will shower you with pleasure twelve times the standard of pleasure making!”

Right. The anime was still playing. Perhaps, he could focus on that. His sockets returned to the screen to see the male human kneeling over the shrieking woman. “My human hands will bring you the utmost pleasure!” He tried to sync up rubbing his length with the motions of the human despite the fact that he was slightly irritated that the character continued to emphasize his humanness. Right, he was a human. Understood. No need to brag THAT much. He didn’t brag about being a Monster. He didn’t need to. Everyone knew that he was already fantastic as Papyrus.

Your moans from the bedroom sent shivers down his vertebrae and he renewed his efforts to satisfy this internal craving that grew stronger with each stroke. It was warm. Too warm. Almost stifling.

“Now! Succumb to pleasure with my true form!” The male’s voice roared from the television. A sudden screech demanded his attention and he looked once more at your television.

The human had transformed into a large orange monster. Some type of octopus looking thing. It briefly reminded him of Onion San…which cooled off some of the heat that had pooled in his nether regions. The revealing of teeth and fluorescent appendages quickly put an end to the similarities. There were a lot of appendages actually. And those appendages were doing a lot of things to the naked female human on the screen. And he was 95% sure they were all sex things.

He gawked at the scene in front of him. You had footage of human and monster copulation? Why? And more importantly, if Alphys had loaned you this, had you told her that you found this…alluring? The orange limbs molested the woman as his mind reeled from this new development. Images of you with another human melted away as he debated whether he really he should be entertaining this possibility that you would actually be into this.

Orange shapes caressed illusions of you that had beckoned forth unbidden. He grit his teeth, debating whether to continue this heat induced delusion of you as a tentacle pushed open your clenched legs, offering yourself to him. The realistic moan that broke from your stained lips when another tentacle ran up your inner thigh to touch the outer lips of your vagina…it was getting too much. A low growl broke from his throat as his arousal fueled the fluorescent apparition to press your toy roughly against your sex. How incredibly satisfying would it be if he just press his heat into your wriggling form.

Hold on. He prided himself on his ability to create impressive tales of magnificence and storytelling but this was starting to feel a bit too realistic even by his standards. Papyrus shook his skull, attempting to conjure away the image of you prostrated before him. It didn’t leave. He quickly checked his surroundings. He was back in your bedroom, standing over your prostrate form. How did he get here? A particularly guttural moan drew his attention to see a very real orange tendril wrapped around the shaft of your toy and thrusting it against you.

Alarmed, Papyrus grasped the tentacle only to gasp as felt something seize him in turn. He released the appendance and whirled around. There were more of these things, threateningly levitating over your unaware form. Had that Monster from the anime teleported in here while he distracted himself with sensual images of you?

Papyrus swung at another tentacle that flitted away unharmed. Curses! He had let his guard down and in doing so, left you unprotected. He was not too late! He seized the appendage directly assaulting you and gasped as he felt pressure directly on his soul. The others tentacles must have launched a sneak attack. He turned to swing at the other attacking tentacle with his other hand only to realize the other tentacles had not so much as tapped him. Confusion clouded his countenance and he returned his attention to his restrained attacker. He freed it and, with that, the pressure vanished on his own soul. A horrible realization settled in as he recaptured the tentacle only for the pressure to return full force. The timing was too coincidental.

He was responsible for these apparitions. His chest beat wildly as they advanced upon you, brushing against the hem of your dress, threatening to push it up. “No! Don’t do that!” He hissed at the tentacles. These figures paused only for a moment before they continued in their attempt to undress you. A tactical fall back (definitely not a retreat) was in order. Papyrus pulled away from the temptation lying In front of him. To his relief, so did the tentacles. He exited your room and firmly shut the door behind him. Now that you were gone, the magic should disappear. He checked. It did not.

Papyrus prized himself on his self control. His room was organized, his attacks orderly and his magic reliably able to be conjured and dispelled at a moment’s notice. So having these barriers/attacks that were not vanishing nor following his command was a bit disconcerting.

The door knob jiggling caught his attention and he realized that the tentacle that had commandeered your vibrator was trying to reopen the door. “Stop that!” He ordered. It gave him a dismissive wave and tried again, forcing him to seize it uncomfortably and pull it away. It proceeded to throw a temper tantrum which he ignored.

Papyrus closed his sockets and tried again to will them away. Nope. Still there. He wasn’t worried. Not at all. He shouldn’t be worrying. Panicking would probably not be very heroic right now. He needed a new strategy before these levitating extensions of him got too bored and attempted to siege your room again. The glow of his member caught his eye again and idea came to mind. Perhaps if he…took care of the immediate problem, the excess magic would vanish? Hopefully.

He pushed the aforementioned excess magic out of the way and made his way to sit on your couch. The movie was still playing. It was quite impressive how long they could go. Human videos either lasted about 5 minutes or had a lot of cut away scenes. Monster human copulations were longer.

Right, he should be dealing with the problem at hand. He smirked slightly at the clever wordplay before a squeal escaped his teeth. He slammed his hands over his mouth to silence the next uncharacteristic squeak. He looked down to see the tentacles fondling his exposed member. He reached down to pull them off until a particularly rough tug resulted in his hands darted back over his teeth to stifle a groan.

That-that felt pretty good actually. The fluorescent tentacles wavered over him expectantly. “I’ll allow this,” he finally mumbled. The stroking resumed. Having his hands free now, he grabbed a pillow to shove his skull into if he started to become loud again. It was jarring, having someone else touch his penis. It WAS technically him. But unpredictably him. He threw his skull back against the cushion as the familiar pressure began to build up. Was this an organism? It had to be. Being able to assign a name to the sensation made it less foreign. And knowing what it is was the first step at conquering it.

Your needy whining from the bedroom made his cock twitch angrily and he allowed the tentacles to pull it even more roughly. What he wouldn’t do to be back in your bedroom at the moment. The things he wanted to do with you. He bit the pillow to stifle another groan. Maybe he would want to have sex with you. Maybe he didn’t. God, it was absolutely overwhelming, he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight. He could hear you calling out as he neared his climax. And then suddenly he hit the proverbial wall.

He felt his entire body spasm as a wave of intense pleasure rocked his very core. He muffled a not so masculine shriek into the pillow as he organismed. Orange liquid spurted forth from his penis in strong streams as the waves swept away every thought he had in that moment. He had no words for this. This was overwhelmingly fantastic! He released the pillow and brought his hands down to touch his still dripping member with lewd fascination. Why had he never engaged in this type of self pleasure before. His mind was still pleasantly dull and hazy as he looked around, noting that the orange liquid that he expelled from his member had landed onto your couch and table and the rug.

The dullness in his mind came to a screeching halt at the mess. “Shit.” He gasped. His sockets widened. Did he just swear?! He slammed his hands over his mouth. He never swore! What was wrong with him? And did he really just put his hands that had just held his sex all over his face? He jerked his hands back down, thankfully not colliding with any of the tentacles. They were no longer there - but that was a small comfort at this point. In fact, any pleasurable sensation had evaporated very quickly at this aftermath of his juices staining your apartment. This evening really could not get any worse.

The sound of a loud thump and movement completely killed whatever fire had cooked his bones. Oh my God. You must be awake. You must have heard him. Why didn’t you have thicker pillows? He anxiously eyed your bedroom door. Any second you would open the door and freak out. Your ex, sitting on the couch, pleasuring himself to cartoon images on the television like some type of pervert. He'd have to drop the class himself in embarrassment. How could he even face you after that?

When you didn't emerge after what felt like an eternity, he started to worry. Were you okay? Had you fallen off the bed? He wasn't hearing those noises anymore. His mind hazily tried to come up with a solution. Perhaps whoever had taken your locks had opened your bedroom window? Did you have a bedroom window? He thought you did.

Mustering whatever resolve and quick reasoning he could manage, he entered your room again. A cursory glance revealed everything still appeared to be in order. The window did indeed exist and was still shut. You also seemed to be alright, lying on the bed, but you appeared to be stirring uncomfortably. You looked distressed. You didn't appear quite awake... yet.

There was a low hum of vibration and he quickly sought out the source. Your personal toy had fallen to the ground. Judging by how your hands clumsily searched the sheets, he had a strong suspicion that you were looking for this. He picked up the device and attempted to hand it back to you but your hands couldn't quite hold it securely enough without his fear that you would drop it on yourself and wake up.

You stirred more and panic briefly seized him. Were you going to wake up? He needed to clean out there still. He couldn't risk you waking up and walking out halfway during his cleaning. He eyed the toy in his hand. Maybe he could assist in some way?

Every impulse of self preservation screamed at him to stop but he blocked them out. He would not derive any satisfaction from this, he inwardly declared. This was just to keep you from waking up, he continued to tell himself, as he approached your still bent legs. He would just top you off and go. He made a face. Wow, that did not come off very well. Clearly this meant he should just do it and get out of here.

He made a motion to push apart your legs only to watch them slowly open on their own as you sighed. He stared at the sight in front of him, feeling himself color. So, this was your vagina. Sorta. The undergarment offered a flimsy shield to your sex. There was a scent in the air that immediately put him on edge before he could diminish the response. He clicked his teeth apprehensively. Right. So, just like this eh?

He attempted to recreate the scene that you had accidentally performed for him earlier this evening. He pressed the toy against you clumsily. A broken cry broke from your lips and he immediately pulled it back an inch.

Had he done it wrong? Had he hurt you? He reached forward to check but stopped himself. No. He shouldn't touch you. You werent conscious enough to consent to that. Even now, he's not entirely sure what he was doing was completely on the up and up. You continued to stir as he tried to talk himself up once more.

“You’ve got this, old boy.” He gently pushed it back against you, only for it to slip and hit your thigh instead. He cursed internally and tried again. Another miss. How the heck was he missing a target this close? He pulled away. This was a really bad idea.

He nearly yelped as you pressed yourself against the toy he had yet to remove entirely. He hadn't anticipated that. He held it like a statue as yours hips thrusted to push your sex even closer to the vibrator. His mind racked with flurry of mixed feelings and thoughts about what was happening. “Ohhh Papyrus…” you quietly moaned. Those thoughts came to a screeching halt.

You said his name. He felt himself heat up at this. Any chance he had of you calling his name in such a carnal way had evaporated the moment he had broken your heart on that cursed third date. Yet, in the deepest of your sub-consciousness, had you actually...perhaps you still desired him? He gripped the toy with renewed vigor as your needy whimpers brought him back to the present. Whether you knew it or not that you still had feelings for him, he was determined to help.

He pushed the toy against you once more. This time his attempt was rewarded with a low moan. Oh. That was a good noise. He pressed it into the same spot and the moan was softer this time. Hmm. He tried another spot, running it along the edges of your sex. That elicited another moan, almost giggly in nature. Right. That was probably ticklish.

He dragged and prodded the vibrator along the sensitive skin, taking careful notes of the spots that made you squirm and cry out louder. It was almost like a puzzle for him. A lewd puzzle that excited him far more than most puzzles should. He finally reached what he could initially describe as almost a button. He nudged it with the tip of the vibrator and marveled how your entire body convulsed at the stimulation. He pressed it even harder, making you squirm and moan even louder. He could see your legs tense and he continued to rub and rotate the device against you.

Your voice calling his name in that breathy moan echoed in his mind. It would be absolutely delightful to hear you call for him again. You didn’t seem like you would any time soon. You were too busy whining and panting. Almost like a dog. He chuckled quietly to himself. How appropriate. Perhaps you were projecting earlier this evening about the leash thing. Maybe you’d actually like to wear a collar. He could even attach that leash to you. And if you started to act up, he could pull you to him and teach you how to behave.

The urge to run a finger down the length of your thigh set aside his strange desire to take you much more forcefully than he thought possible. It was hard to not touch you. He was confident he could bring you to your own organism without this toy, but you hadn't explicitly given permission for that. Even so, his knuckle still brushed against your entrance as he pressed the toy against you. You were so warm down there. He'd bet it would feel really nice against the ridges of his phalanges. Right. You hadn't give permission for that though. Perhaps another day, he nearly purred to himself as he watched you turn wantonly undone.

He picked up on the urgency in how your sex pressed against his toy and memories of the first time he stimulated you came to mind. You must be close. And this time, you would not be hiding it behind a chair. He’d be able to watch you as you climaxed. His free hand gripped the sheets close to your thigh in anticipation. You felt so close, just a few more presses here and there should do it. Perhaps the button again? Or maybe that spot just slightly lateral of your entrance on the right? There was always that little spot 35 degrees this way and into there. He had practically mapped your womanhood and felt it burning to his memory almost as hot as his chest burned now.

And with a few final thrusts, your whole body shuddered and released the energy it had stored with a cry of pleasure. Papyrus pulled away quickly to marvel how all the muscles contracted and twitched. The human anatomy, although strange, was certainly an impressive spectacle. That scent from earlier was now a heavy musk. He felt his soul pulse loudly with his intake and greedily gazed upon you again. Perhaps he could coax another performance from you? He nudged the vibrating toy against you but you shifted away uncomfortably, making him pause.

He quickly switched off the toy and laid it to side nervously. Had he harmed you? Was he too rough? Or not rough enough? This whole sexual intercourse was still a bit fuzzy to him, especially concerning his ex. He remembered that you became agitated once you had climaxed the last time. Was this now painful to you? He examined you as best as he could.

The skin appeared unbroken thankfully, but there was a dampness present that surprised him. Perhaps you had some form of external release as well. And there was that scent, now even more overpowering. Perhaps he really should remove the lace to make sure. That might wake you up though. Although you had settled back into a deeper sleep, should he really risk accidentally stimulating your further? But then again, what if there was injury? He didn’t have to take the lace off per say. Just run his fingers along to feel for any abrasiveness. Just really quickly. Yes. That would be alright. He finally reached forward after enough internal debate to touch you only for your fingers to suddenly rest upon his hand.

Papyrus jolted awake up into a sitting position. He looked around in bewilderment, sleep still dulling his senses as they tried to go from 0 to 60. Where was he? Why did his back hurt? Why weren’t his feet touching the bed? He spotted the television and his mind clicked. That’s right. He was in your place. Guarding. As a faux Royal Guard. A faux Guard.

A deluge of memories after that flooded his cranium and he froze. He had been watching that show and then there were tentacles and you were there pleasuring yourself and he had…had…NOT CLEANED UP! His sockets darted to your coffee table only to stop. Your table was clear. He checked the floor. Not even a drop of the excess magic. His shoulders untensed. He hadn’t cleaned but yet there was nothing. No evidence of any lewd play whatsoever.

“Surely, I must have dreamed this,” he theorized out loud to himself. It sometimes helped to talk out loud. It made things seem more concrete and substantial. He must have dreamt this. He glanced at the DVD case. “Nyeh heh heh, perhaps I should not watch Alphys’ anime so late at night.” He smiled softly to himself and attempted to nestle back into the woefully small couch. It was a rather vivid dream, not wholly unpleasant either, he admitted. But towards the end, the bits concerning you, well, that was, different.

He realized his sudden awakening had sent his body into the beginning of a cold sweat and wiped his skull tiredly with his gloves. Huh. That was odd. There was a strange scent on his gloves. He sniffed it curiously. No, it wasn’t the MTT cologne he had applied earlier this evening. This was a scent that stirred something deeper within him. His mind tried to place the scent as he drifted to sleep once more. It was rather familiar. If he didn’t know any better, it almost smelled like your bedroom in the dream when you…you…

“Oh my God,” he realized.

It wasn’t a dream.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we finish the trilogy of what has been an exciting evening. ;) Thoughts? Critiques?
> 
> We resume normal storytelling next time! 
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter. Totally NSFW on this one:
> 
>  
> 
>   
> [Experimenting with Tentacles Part 1 (NSFW)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/160324164944/behold-the-pinnacle-of-my-career-as-official)  
>   
>   
> [Experimenting with Tentacles Part 2 (NSFW)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/160415972034/dearest-smallpersiankitten-my-last-submission)  
>   
>   
> SFW work summary:  
> Papyrus watches the hentai DVD, finds you sleep-masturbating with the vibrator, summons tentacles which he can't control too well, masturbates and then helps you climax as well before blacking out and waking up on the couch.  
> Fanart Master List: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	99. Well, It's A Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Cinco de Mayo Everyone!! :D
> 
> Holy crap, it's been an exciting week hasn't it! And Peanutbutter-n-meli managed to produce two pieces of art! If you read the comments in these chapters, you may have noticed an exchange last chapter which was both humorous and foreshadowing. 
> 
> Her first one is a slightly NSFW: [Come to the Darkside, We have Cookies and Hentai](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/160218524334/smallpersiankitten-peanutbutter-n-meli). Absolutely stunning colors! :D
> 
> The second one is totally NSFW. If you wanted a visual of those Papyrus' magical tentacles, well, look no further: [Experimenting with Tentacles (NSFW)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/160324164944/behold-the-pinnacle-of-my-career-as-official). Hot damn, amiright? Give her some loving!!

Papyrus did not drink coffee you discovered. Somehow this did not surprise you as much as you thought it would. Of course the skeleton did not require coffee for his boundless energy. You, however, most certainly did, and you fetched the milk out of the fridge to dilute the bitter drink. 

“Do you want some milk?” You offered. 

Papyrus looked at the jug hesitantly. “In my tea...right?”

“You know I was thinking about pepper spraying you again,” you teased. 

“Ah. Please don't. I am willing to go out with you without a battle this time,” Papyrus clarified.

“I was kidding.” You chuckled “Man that would be really messed up,” you admitted, bringing the jug to the table and placing it in front of the skeleton. He appeared rather relieved. 

“What did you both do last night?” You and Papyrus glanced over at the locksmith who observed your door in astonishment. He had been mostly silent save for a few grumbles about being here on a Sunday. 

“We made a Monster vomit,” you shrugged.

“Yes it was gross.”

“I mean to the door.”

“Nothing,” Papyrus answered. You remained silent. You were not conscious enough to remember what the door even looked like the night before. You just remembered not touching it. 

“The whole mechanism is gone!” The locksmith gaped.

“So...are we talking an extra 5 minutes or…?” You pressed.

“Try at least a week, toots.” Your eyes widened. 

“What? Are you serious?”

“I gotta order the whole unit. Even if they ship it next day, it will take at least 5 days.”

“Oh my God,” you groaned, crestfallen. “What am I going to do? I can't stay home this entire time.” You whined, lying your head on the ground.

Papyrus hummed. “May I make a suggestion?”

“Sure thing, Bones.”

“...It's Papyrus, but I understand the confusion.” The skeleton stood up and walked out the door. You and the locksmith followed him curiously. He pointed to the door knob of another apartment. “Why don't you just take the lock from an empty apartment?”

The locksmith scoffed. “Yeah, just take another lock, that's-” he paused and scratched his chin. “Actually that ain't a half baked idea. I'll go call the property manager and see if he got any vacant lots.”

“Oh my god, Papyrus, you're a genius,” you thanked gratefully. 

“Of course.”

You felt yourself practically glowing. “Seriously I could kiss you right now.”

“Oh!” He chuckled awkwardly. “Well you certainly could, you do have lips!” 

“You're right.” Papyrus’ sockets widened as you pulled him into a quick tight kiss. “Mwah!” You broke away with a huge smile. 

“Oh! Wow!” he gasped, clearly caught off guard.

You awkwardly laughed, equally caught off guard by your rather spontaneous display of affection. You hurriedly walked back into the kitchen, trying to not make eye contact. “I’m glad you thought of that! Otherwise, I’d probably have to stay with someone for a week.” 

“What?”

You nodded, immediate relief settling on your face as you cooled down. “Yeah, I’d probably have to ask you since I don’t know anyone who could do it on such short notice.” 

He faltered. “…ah.”

~~~~~

Papyrus and you had barely brought your clean laundry back to the apartment when the locksmith greeted you giddily. “I got your door fixed, ma’am.”

“Thanks for coming out on a Sunday,” you thanked. 

“Sure thing.” The locksmith wrote a few notes on his work paper before leaving you both. 

Papyrus shuffled awkwardly. “So I'll see you tomorrow?”

“I guess so.” He made a motion to walk away and you coughed. “Uh actually, wait a moment.” You couldn’t leave it like this. Class would be so incredibly awkward if you did. “So, I know we kissed. Twice.” Crap you really couldn’t think of anyway to start this conversation. “Uh, but you know…”

Papyrus held up a hand. “Human, I am more than happy to be your cool friend.”

An overwhelming sense of relief nearly flooded your entire body. Still, you felt you needed to say something as well. “Oh, cool, yes. Well I would like to keep being your friend too,” You quickly agreed. The skeleton smiled.

“Excellent! I look forward to seeing you in class tomorrow.”

“Yes, I uh, I’ll see you then.” He nodded and turned to walk away. You bit your lips. “Papyrus, I-I-” About the third date. You needed to tell him that maybe you sorta believed him. Somehow you needed to tell him this. The Monster stopped in his tracks and turned toward you curiously. 

“Yes?”

“I believe y-“ The sound of Papyrus’ phone ringing made you pause. “Uh..”

Papyrus appeared equally stunned. “I didn’t think it had any more battery power left,” he mused. 

“You should probably answer it before your battery dies,” you rationalized. He nodded and answered the cellular device. 

“Hello! This is Papyrus speaking!” His sockets widened at the voice on the other end. “Oh! Wowie, uh, hello, Mettaton!” You rolled your eyes. Christ. That robot Monster had impeccable timing, didn’t he? “I hope you are doing well, I just -oh?” You tried to pretend you weren’t eavesdropping. It was not very easy. “Now? I suppose I could. Yes, I know the place. Alright, I will see you soon. Thank you. Good bye.” Papyrus disconnected the phone and his brow furrowed. “Eh, human, do you know where Caitlin’s Coffee Cafe is?” 

You thought about it. “I think it’s off of 32nd and Butano?”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh good. I’m not sure my phone has enough power for GPS. Mettaton wishes for me to come meet him as soon as possible.” 

“At a café?” 

“Yes. It says it’s very important.”

“Ah. Okay. Well, you better go meet him.”

Papyrus took a step away but paused. “Actually, what were you saying earlier?”

“Right. I just forgot that I didn’t…didn’t thank you,” You finally stammered, your resolve wavering. 

“Oh?”

“Seriously, yeah, thank you for last night. For being a cool dude,” You forced a smile. 

He nodded understandingly. “Of course! I am the Great Papyrus, afterall!” Yes, yes he was. With another wave, he walked away and you pressed your fingers to your forehead. What was the point of telling him that you believed him now? It wouldn’t change what happened.

~~~~~~

Papyrus’ skull was still abuzz with his rather surprising meeting with Mettaton as he pulled into the garage and stepped out. He had to pull himself together. He couldn't enter his home looking like this. He quickly tried to straighten himself out in the garage. It was nearly noon and he had just gotten home. No doubt, Sans would be worried sick. As he expected, his phone had died on the way to the café so if Sans had been trying to call him, he would have been unable to. He stepped inside. “Hello, Sans! I’m home. I’m sorry I didn’t…text.” He stared in bewilderment at the state of their home. 

Couch cushions were strewn about the living room. The table was missing a leg and was held up with a book. Toriel’s teaching board was knocked to the ground and deep claw marks were embedded in its surface. There was something sticky and alcoholic smelling on the carpet. All and all, Papyrus was rather displeased. 

“Sans!!” He shouted.

“sorry, pap, i’m coming.” Sans descended down the stairs. Papyrus immediately averted his sockets. 

“Sans! Put some pants on!” He yelled. 

Sans looked down at his shorts, or lack thereof. “shit. pap, i think they’re on the kitchen table. can you get them for me?”

Papyrus gaped, still not looking at him. “There’s a whole bunch of clean laundry on your bed.”

“uh…not anymore.”

“I already did laundry once today! I’m not doing it again!”

“whose laundry did you do?” 

“…The kitchen table you say?”

After an awkward handing off of clothes and averting of sockets, both skeleton brothers sat at the table, not saying much. Sans groaned. “pap, can you get me a glass of milk?” Papyrus wordlessly rose and rustled through the fridge. He returned with a glass of milk and a glass of V8. Sans watched incredulously as his younger brother handed him the milk glass and proceeded to chug the tomato juice. “uh, bro? you okay?”

“I may have performed lewd behavior on a sleeping person, among other things.”

“hold on, you did what?”

Papyrus cringed his nasal cavity. “God! In fact, this whole house smells like sex!” 

“…pap, want to tell me why you know what sex smells like?”

“Well, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me why it smells of sweat and shame in the kitchen?” Papyrus retaliated. Sans gulped down the milk.

“right. uh…”

Papyrus groaned and put his skull in his hands. “I just want to lie down and take a nap at this point.” 

“would you like me to start cleaning dishes?”

“Please.”

Sans was unnerved by this. “uh, mettaton is having a special marathon running later this afternoon. ya wanna watch it with me?” Papyrus blushed. 

“Maybe, maybe not today. I just saw him earlier and uh, yes. Not today.” 

Sans shifted uncomfortably as he started to lather up the dishes. This felt unnatural to him. “did you still want to go to dance class tomorrow?” he asked.

“I-I think that’s for the best, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although there were no sexy times in this chapter, we're back to friendship levels with our ex. So, it's a start! :)
> 
> The meeting was purposely omitted from this chapter. Whatever it was about, certainly has Papyrus a bit heated though. Then again, Sans seems equally disoriented as well. 
> 
> So next chapter is the big 100. That's kinda nuts that we are at Chapter 100 and we're still nowhere near the end of this story. Thank you for sticking around as long as you have!! It really means a lot! :D
> 
> I think we'll hand over next chapter to Mettaton. Does that sound good to everyone? ;)
> 
> And always, don't forget to check out the Fanart Master List: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	100. Technical Difficulties/Ambush (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Welcome to Chapter 100. Yup, the big 100! Holy shit, amirite?
> 
> Well this chapter was supposed to be a wonderful marathon of MTT's "Forbidden Love". However, I'm not sure how much you guys are aware of what happened this last two weeks with Google docs being compromised and a good portion of users losing their Google docs. And unfortunately, I was one of those users. I've been able to recover some of the dialogue but I'll have to completely rewrite the episodes. Thankfully, the rest of the main story is safely backed up and on a flash card so no worries on that. Ideally, Mettaton's chapter will have to wait a bit longer so we may not see it for a couple of chapters while I work on rewriting. 
> 
> That being said, I've decided to use this chapter to give you what you a lot of you have been screaming at me for. It's not in the general timeline of this story, but still involves the same characters. It could have been a standalone story, but it's more fun this way. This chapter does have some NSFW elements that are hard for me to separate. ;D

You ran as hard as you possibly could, your feet sinking into the deep snow. Your snow pants kept you sorta dry but if this kept up, you’re sure you would be soaking wet with the icy snow. Finally, you reached a tree and clung to it desperately. The only sound was your out of breath panting. Christ, you needed to work out. Your endurance was shit. Not to mention the higher altitude was already doing wonders as it was.

A crack of a branch forced you to hold your breath. Shit. They were still following you. You bolted once more, trying to reflect upon your situation, how the hell you were going to get out of it and why your good day had turned to crap?

~~~~~

15 minutes earlier….

You walked along the snowy path, inhaling the chilly fresh air. It was peaceful quiet, a significant change from an hour ago when you had been hanging out with friends. You had separated from the group, promising to meet up at the lodge later. They had wanted to try a double black diamond run and you were just not in the mood to inflict severe bodily harm upon yourself just yet.

So ,here you were on just one of the ski resort’s many natural wildlife walks. So far it had been less wildlife and more snow. Snow poffs, snow trees, snow bushes. Snow everything. Oh well. You had worn the appropriate clothes for this. Your waterproof snow pants, your poofy sweater, your fancy smancy snow boots. On the outside, you appeared to be the perfect little snow bunny.

But on the inside, you hid a sexy snow tiger…wow that sounded way sexier in your head, but regardless, underneath the poofy jacket and the three thermal shirts was a leopard printed bra. And underneath the two pairs of pants, a matching sexy leopard thong. So maybe, on that note, you were more of a secret sexy leopard under the guise of a super cute snow bunny.

Speaking of bunnies, was that a bunny? You quickly flipped back your long orange scarf out of your face to catch a better look. Holy cow! It certainly looked like one. You approached carefully, hoping it would not leave and, to your surprise, it didn’t.

You got a bit closer before you started to wonder if the rabbit was frozen to the spot. You stopped just short of it and blinked. It was a stuffed animal bunny. Perhaps someone had lost it? You knelt down and realized it was sitting on a book. You pulled it out and read curiously. It was hard to make it the title so you opened it. Colorful, wet illustrations looked back at you but the words were practically unintelligible from either snow or use. You peered at it closer.

A rustle of bushes made you look up from the book. You glanced around. “Must just be the wind,” you muttered, turning your attention back to the book. You flipped a few more pages before the rustle of bushes demanded your attention again. This time, the noises were closer.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” You called out hesitantly. No answer. You bit your lip. This was weird. Who would have forgotten a stuffed animal and a book out here? It’s almost like they were hoping someone would find them and take a peak. You had already spent a minute here or so. You should really continue your path

The rustle came from right next to you now. “Alright, I know someone’s here! Show yourself!” You yelled in the bravest voice you could muster. The foliage said nothing and you neared it warily. “I know you’re there. What are you trying to do?” You waited for a response but received none. You rolled your eyes, mumbling a “Whatever,” before turning to walk away.

Out of the corner of your eyes, something dark lunged out of the bush and seized your scarf. You gasped and choked as it yanked you backwards toward the bush. Your adrenaline blasted every muscle in your body and you quickly untied the scarf before you could be dragged into the snow ambush. You stumbled but soon got enough of a grip to run as fast as you possibly could from your attacker, leaving behind your cool scarf with something growling.

~~~~~

Current…

You nearly ate it on an icy rock, forcing you to dedicate your full concentration on escaping instead of reminiscing. Noise from your left forced you to sprint to your right. You hadn’t been running for too long. The altitude made you tire more easily. Dammit, you should have listened to the people at the lodge and given yourself time to acclimate like they said. But nooo, you just had to go have fun and look at you now, trying to leg it in snow boots. It was a miracle you hadn’t fallen by how clumsy you were in these things.

The toe of your boot hooked on an unearthed tree root and you fell face forward with an embarrassing splat into the snow. You groaned, “This seriously could not get any worse,” drawing your hands back in to push yourself up.

The feeling of Murphy’s Law around your wrists got your attention and you suddenly found yourself hoisted into the air by your wrists. Your back hit the tree near you and you looked around wildly. Had you seriously gotten your wrists caught in what appeared to be a foot snare trap?!

“God dammit,” you swore, your toes just barely touching the ground thanks to your good for nothing boots. Maybe you could swing backwards and latch onto the tree, trying to climb it with skill you clearly did not have? It was worth a shot.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” You stopped struggling at the voice and searched for its source. It seemed to echo from everywhere

“A human has trespassed and penetrated our defenses. Leaving me to be our line last of defense.” The voice continued. Where the fuck was it coming from? What was getting penetrated?

You cleared your throat. Clearly there had been a huge misunderstanding. “Oh, uh sorry about that. See, I was on a nature walk and I got lost.”

“HA! A likely story!” The voice argued. “You cannot fool me! I am exceptionally perceptive.” You shuffled your feet. This was not how you expected your day to turn out.

“You were able to resist my earlier trap which means you have advanced experience with advanced capture evasion.” You opened your mouth to question how a stuffed animal and a children’s book that you could walk away from indicated advanced capture evasion experience but his voice boomed over you. “Yes, a human with these skills must be a one thing – a spy!”

“Woah, woah. I am not-I mean, look at me, do I look like a spy?” You pointed out. “Spies should be able to sneak around and blend in.”

The voice mused at your explanation. “You are clearly a spy. I see that you have successfully disguised yourself as a human tourist…an attractive human tourist, I’ll admit.” You shivered as you swore you felt something brush against you at those last words but when you looked, there was nobody there.

“Uh, well. I’m not a spy. Really! I literally was just taking a walk to get some air.”

“A walk…or scouting the perimeter, human!”

“I’m not-what’s with all this human nonsense. Who are you anyway?” You demanded irritably, getting pretty sick of this shit.

A loud cackle erupted from in front of you. “Ah yes! How rude of me! Allow me to formally introduce myself!” From the thick brush in front of you emerged a tall, foreboding figure. You felt your blood run cold, well colder than it already was as you realized that the figure wearing dark snow pants and a sweater was a large, skeletal Monster. His teeth curled into what you could only describe as an ominous grin. The scar slashed over his right socket did not give you a sense of confidence about your immediate future’s safety. He appraised you.

“You’re a Monster!” You gasped.

“Nyeh heh heh heh. Not just any Monster! I am the Great and Terrible Papyrus! And I have captured you, human.”

You blinked. “Hold up, captured? What do you mean captured?”

“Captured. Taken hostage. Held forcibly against your will. It’s not really a hard word to understand,” he scoffed.

“I mean, I know what it means. But why?”

“I intend to take you to our capital as a present for our king. Only then will my entry into the Royal Guard be secured and I will obtain that which I am working for – popularity, prestige, and respect.”

He laughed and you shifted in your bindings. This was a good snare but it was not meant for your wrists. Maybe you could wiggle loose if you distracted him. It was worth a shot.

“What if you already have these things?” You asked suddenly.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, I think you’re pretty popular and prestigious.” He gave you an odd look and you coughed. “I think you’re pretty cool.”

“Nyeh! Human, I will not be swayed with flattery, even if it is true,” he retorted irritably. The way his skull lit up at your words betrayed his tone, indicating that perhaps flattery had swayed him slightly. Maybe you had a shot.

“Papyrus, is it?”

“The Great Papyrus…uh Great and Terrible Papyrus.”

“Right. Listen, look at me. Does it look like I am a spy? There’s no human base here for miles.”

“Perhaps you could be reporting to someone?”

“No! My cell phone doesn’t have any reception and nobody even knows I’m here.”

The minute those words left your lips, you realized how foolish that was to say. The skeleton fixed you with a sly grin. “Oh really?”

“Shit.”

He advanced upon you, closing the distance between you both with a chuckle. “All alone. How saddening. I, however have plenty of friends and loyal comrades in arms. Nyeh heh heh.”

You looked at his skull as he gloated. There was something odd about that scar. You squinted at it closely. “Did-did you draw a scar on yourself?” You asked. Papyrus froze mid cackle. You smiled sheepishly at him. “Uh, it’s well done,” you tried to backpedal.

A bone embedded itself just inches to the side of your head. You squeaked in alarm and looked up at Papyrus who looked equally alarmed only for a second before the dark expression returned to his skull.

“You dare to mock me! This scar is not drawn on! It has been calculatedly planned to demonstrate the war torn visage I am portraying. Surely, if you were a spy, you would have realized that.”

Your eyes lit up. “Absolutely! If I was a spy! But I’m not! So will you let me go now? Surely your king wouldn’t want such a valuable soldier such as yourself to waste time with me!”

Papyrus considered your words carefully. “Yes, I’m quite valuable, aren’t I?” He pondered. “Surely such in demand time…I should use it only for critical situations.”

You pride hurt a bit at the implication of unimportantness and he caught your expression. “Not to say you’re not worth my time, but as far as an active threat to the crown, you may not be such an issue.”

“Oh okay.” Somehow that made you feel better. “So…can I go?”

His hands slammed into the sides of the tree, effectively trapping you and demanding your full attention to his presence. “Very well, if you truly are not a spy, then surely you wouldn’t object to me searching you.”

You briefly thought about what was in your pockets. You had a chapstick, a trail map, your wallet and a cell phone that you had already disclosed had no reception. None of these items indicated to the Monster in front of you that you’d be a spy. You nodded and he removed his hands from the tree. He cracked his knuckles and winced as his bones cracked loudly in the cold.

You blew a strand of your frosty hair off of your face as the Monster set to work opening all your pockets and examining its contents. And then proceeded to keep your stuff.

“Hey!” You struggled slightly, “That’s my chapstick!”

“I’m merely borrowing it,” He insisted.

“You don’t have lips.”

“I can dream, can’t I?”

You sighed. “Fine, but I want it back.”

Papyrus rolled his sockets. “I’m not quite sure why you need this. Your lips already appear to be quite soft.”

You found yourself blush and stammer out an “Oh, thanks.” He continued to rifle through your pockets. He pulled out your cell phone and blinked at it.

“Unlock it for me,” He ordered.

“What? No.” You weren’t going to let him see your phone.

He stuck out his chest determinedly. “Very well, I will have to use my advanced intelligence to deduce the code.” He tapped on your phone and frowned. “Drat. Only nine attempts left.”

“What do you mean nine attempts?”

“Eight attempts now.”

“Wait, Papyrus, eight attempts until what?”

“Seven attempts until it factory resets.”

Your eyes widened and you gasped. “Wait, no don’t factory reset my phone! I haven’t backed up anything in almost half a year.”

“How unfortunate for you. Five attempts.”

“Five? What happened to six?”

“I tried six while I was still listening to your poor data management. Four.”

“Enough! Enough!” You shrieked. You hung your head in defeat. “I’ll tell you.”

“Wonderful. I told you my deductive reasoning would work as well.

“Ugh. Fine.” You spouted off the code. Papyrus tapped it in curiously and shot you a sideways glance. You sighed. “It’s my birthday.”

“I knew that.” He unlocked your phone and began to rifle through your personal life. You inwardly panicked. Had you taken any inappropriate pictures? Any skin or lesion shots? Or maybe a bathing suit shop to see how your butt would look in this thong. Oh my God. How could you not remember if you did or didn’t?

“Ha! What is this?” Your phone was shoved into your face and you had to focus to see what he was talking about. “Taking photos of Monsters for surveillance!” He announced triumphantly

You stared at the photo. “That’s a photo from my neighbor’s Halloween Party. And that Monster is my neighbor, Kaylie. She is dressed as a penguin.”

Papyrus took the phone back and stared at it as well. “Hmm. Perhaps you are correct. I don’t think her flipper would be effecting at wielding a 40lb lance.” He cleared his throat, tucking your chapstick and your phone back into your jacket pocket.

You breathed a sigh of relief, your breath coming as a smoking mist. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt his hands on you once more. “Uh, hold up, I don’t have anymore pockets.”

Papyrus didn’t pause, his fingers finding the zipper to your outer jacket. “You are clearly hiding something under this large jacket. Why else would you wear such a cumbersome outfit?”

“To keep warm!” You argued as he proceeded to unzip your jacket until it hung loosely at your sides. You had another three layers of shirts underneath still. You felt a slight pressure along your sides as he ran his hands along your waist.

“You’re very curious for a spy.”

“That’s cause I’m not a spy,” you breathed, a little heavier than you intended. Those wandering hands were not helping you keep calm.

“I can’t rule that out just yet. This needs to come off.”

You tried to argue but there was a look to him that made you think twice and you allowed him to roll up your next shirt. There was a flash of disappointment on his countenance that he quickly hid.

“So, catch a lot of humans?” You asked.

“Ha, I’ve never let one pass me.”

“That didn’t answer my question,” you pressed.

“I’ve never let one accidentally pass me.”

“Still doesn’t answer my question.”

“You are quite a perceptive one,” he mumbled. After a minute or so, he spoke again. “It’s nice to have a talkative captive. This really capturing human business can get a bit drab so it’s a nice change to have a conversation once in a while.”

You thought he was being sarcastic but to your surprise he was smiling genuinely at you. “It’s nice to chat with you too. It does make this less scary. Can I go now?”

Papyrus shook his head. “I’m afraid not. I would be wayward in my duty as a Royal Guard in Training.” He cleared his throat. “You’ll need to remove this next layer.” He pulled at your shirt.

“Can’t with my arms tied,” you argued.

“Fine.” He rolled up the next layer of shirt. The cold was more penetrative now and you shivered slightly. His hands were on you again, pressing into your flesh more forcefully. You stifled a groan as his hands cupped the sides of your breasts. You hugged your legs together to take your mind off of this.

“It was quite impressive that you not only caught one hand but both hands. And in a leg snare no doubt. You’re rather unlucky.”

“Yeah, tough lu-uh-uck on my part,” you gasped, attempting to lean away from his hands.

He mused. “Perhaps, not luck after all. Perhaps, you were hoping to be captured by a skilled professional such as myself.”

You sputtered and laughed. “What? Why would I willingly run into a trap to meet you?”

A hurt expression flickered over his skull that quickly hardened. “Remove this shirt.” Your jaw dropped and you shook your head. This was your last thermal shirt before a skimpy dressy top and a sexy bra. Papyrus clicked his teeth. “You are hiding something and I’m determined to find out what, even if I must strip to your core.”

“I’m not taking my shirts off. And even if I wanted to, I can’t. I’m tied up.” No sooner had those words left your lips than the sharp bone that had been embedded into the trunk by the side of your head in front of your face threateningly.

“Don’t move.”

“Holy shit, don’t hurt me!”

“I don’t plan on harming you. Do not worry,” he reassured you as he simultaneously grabbed and pulled up the last of your thermal shirts threateningly. “Hold still.”

You squeaked as he pulled not one, but all thermal shirts down on the bone blade, tearing them. Another two slices and he successfully pulled the now rags off of you and discarded them. You glared at him. “That was almost $60 worth of thermal shirts, you asshole.”

He tittered at you, “Despite the circumstances, language like that is not appropriate. Did your mother teach you better?”

“She told me to give a shit when someone destroys my clothes,” you spat, shaking from rage and cold. Thankfully, your snow pants still remained on and intact, but it was still chilly with your top exposed like this.

He tapped his chip thoughtfully. “I would rather not hear anymore of that profanity. Otherwise I’ll have to think of something special for you.” He stopped tapping his chin and eyed you with renewed interest.

You felt yourself heat up despite the cold as his sockets scanned your figure appreciatively. Was he checking you out? There was no way. He grinned and laughed. “What ho! I knew you were hiding something within your outfit.” He thumbed the strap of your shirt. “Were you planning on going on a date?”

Was he serious right now? And more importantly…he was right. You cleared your throat. “Uh, yes. I as going to ask someone, yes,” you affirmed.

“Someone?” He inquired.

“Yeah.”

“You like this someone?” Papyrus pressed, managing to stretch in such a way that if you weren’t totally sure he was still being aggressive, would make his arms look more muscular and dramatic.

“Uh huh,” you mumbled as his continued his impromptu stretch.

“And he reciprocates your affection?”

“Uh…yes? Maybe. He’s also interested in someone else.”

His sockets lit up at your answer. “Perhaps you should into someone else. Someone good looking and smart and kind.”

“Like?”

“Well, I embody all of these traits. Perhaps before I bring you as my prisoner to the capital, we could go out?”

You couldn’t help it. This was too bizarre. You burst into a loud guffaw. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I realize that you are perhaps in shock. I could only imagine how overwhelmed you must be with an amazing opportunity to date a future Royal Guard.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I prefer to call myself strategic.”

“No, I mean, you’re insane.”

“And…by insane, you mean an opportunist?”

“You must be absolutely delusional to think I would even consider that idea.”

“You’re sure of that?” He asked, his voice wavering.

“Absolutely. There is no way you could do anything to make me say otherwise.”

Papyrus was silent for a moment before speaking, this time his voice a little deeper. “I see. It appears that I must convince you otherwise,” he spoke coolly as his hand ran along your open outer jacket.

“Huh? What are you…?” Your voice died in your throat as his hand traveled languidly from your jacket to your waist. He was eyeing your nearly exposed chest with a look that suggested something more lascivious in mind. “You’re not seriously considering what I think you are?”

“I think I have to demonstrate why I am a superior choice to another human.” You squeezed your legs together as he approached, only for him to push them apart with his knee and grabbed your chin.

“Let go of me, you fucking prick!”

He sighed. “I was hoping that you would have learned not to use that language.” Before you could swear again, he pulled into a cold kiss. The alacrity of his actions rendered you defenseless, allowing his tongue to slip past your lips and taste you before you had a chance to recover. You barely managed a breathless gasp when he finally pulled away with a satisfying pop.”

“You-you fucking-!”

And then another kiss, catching you mid speech. This was one was shorter and you almost felt it was over too quickly. Cloth wrapped around your lips and you realized he had gagged you with your own scarf.

“Such a shame to cover such delicious lips,” he lamented near you ear as he secured your gag.

Your angry cries were muted against your gag as he rubbed the length of your arm. His hands pressed firmly against your breasts and you did your best to dull out the sensation.

His fingers latched onto your bra strap and he fingered it eagerly. “A special outfit indeed. I have never seen this one before,” he mused. And if you had your way, he would never see it again. He ignored the death glare you fixed on him. “Walking around here, alone, wearing this outfit. Let’s drop this charade of spy vs guard. You knew I was out here, didn’t you?”

You shook your head violently as he tried to pull up your shirt, forcing him to steal one more nip at your flushed neck before he pulled away. “I have no doubt you came in the hopes of having an intimate rendezvous with me.” He caressed your cheek gently. “Perhaps we should take it slow so we can savor this fly by night meeting.”

He patted down your shirt so you were covered mostly. He fixed you with a smoldering look and at once you felt yourself blush despite the cold. What was he doing to you? His fingers brushed against your gag. He eyed you hopefully. “Could you promise you won’t scream if I take this off?” You shook your head. He sighed. “I appreciate your honesty. But, let’s be reasonable, a surrender on your part will make this much more pleasurable for both of us.”

You considered your options. This Monster was determined to have some form of relations with you. And at the moment, all you had experienced was some rough foreplay that maybe you were kinda into but were definitely not interested in escalating any further. Still, he seemed rather into you. Perhaps you could use this desire to please you to your advantage.

You made a motion to shake your gag off and he removed it carefully. “Listen, Papyrus, I’m super flattered by all this attention. But I have things to do and a date reservation tonight. So let’s make a deal.”

“Very well. What are your terms?”

“I will let you try to change my mind about a possible…romantic rendezvous for you. But only for three minutes. If at the end of those three minutes, my mind is still the same, you will let me go.”

Papyrus considered that. “I suppose I could agree to those terms.”

“Oh! And no penetration!” You quickly added.

He seemed startled at your objection. “I hadn’t-I wasn’t going to…” his voice trailed off as he eyed your heaving breasts again. “I may have been slightly carried away earlier. I will refrain from proceeding to that,” he admitted.

You cleared your throat. “So, do we have a deal?”

“Yes.”

“Excellent. Go.”

One, two, three, four…how many seconds were in three minutes? 180 seconds. Yeah you could do that. A press of a warm tongue followed by nips to your neck made you shiver as you hit ten seconds. Oh, that was a lucky shot on his part as your heart rate spiked for a few moments. But it was the only one he was going to get. You tensed and steadied yourself as his hands traveled up your arms, kneading in warmth and stimulation. His hands traveled to the side of your face and he proceeded to plant kisses on your cheeks, hot breath tickling you at the action.

Forty-five seconds. Those hands were now brushing into your hair. His chest pressed firmly against yours, pinning you against the tree. Ye he only caressed your body with lingering touches, just long enough to feel his presence yet not long enough to get used to the sensation. Less than a minute ago, these touches would have done nothing for you but after having been warmed nicely at the beginning of this time trial, you were finding it nearly impossible to ignore the way your skin trembled.

Time trial? Yes, uh seventy-two seconds. Why was this taking so such a long ass time? Three minutes never took this long before. You had to focus on another part of your body that he was not touching. You rocked back and forth, trying to think but your mind grew fuzzier by the second. A hand put pressure behind your back, encouraging you to place more weight on him, which you begrudgingly did. Your acceptance was rewarded with a kiss to your ear and him whispering the word “nothing” in your ear.

“Are you saying the word ‘nothing’?” You asked, your breath coming out sharper than you intended.

“Nothings. I’m whispering sweet nothings into your ear in an attempt to seduce you.”

This sentence broke you and your whole body shook with barely restrained laughter. Your head leaned against his as your giggles finally quieted down. The apprehension and tension melted away like any snow in the sun. You finally settled down and watched him through your smiling eyes.

“I can see that it’s working,” he praised himself. You motioned for him to closer.

“Ninety-four seconds,” you whispered seductively against his skull.

He shot you a bemused grin and pressed his teeth against your smirking lips. “Your lips taste better when you’re smiling,” he observed.

You squeaked as he pushed you closer against him and to, your surprise, your body readily complied. Without the pent up tension from earlier, your entire body felt a less stiff, allowing you to lean and wiggle against him as the pit in your stomach grew hotter. He kissed you once again and this time you willingly parted your lips for him, wrestling his tongue

You barely registered one of his hands leaving your back until you felt gentle pressure on your nipples. When had he stuck his hand under your bra? Without breaking the kiss, he fingered your nipples, circling and pulling on it gently. He pulled away with a sly smirk, your mind absolutely dazed at how warm everything was getting at the one hundred and thirty second mark. You caught a glimpse of his intentions and barely called out a “wait!” before his skull was at your semi exposed chest.

The material of your shirt had been pulled down along with the top of your bra. “wai-wai-ah!” You gasped as his tongue flicked out on your incredibly sensitive breasts and your erect nipples. You squealed helplessly as he kissed and licked and sucked on your assets.

Your hands gripped air and rope uselessly to ground yourself, forcing your legs to try to compensate. You squirmed and rocked against the leg he used to separate your legs.

One hundred fifty seconds, your mind screamed at you as you helplessly tried to vocalize something that wasn’t a moan. That pressure was knotting something fierce in your stomach, begging you to do something to release the rising compulsion to do something about it. There was probably at least an inch of bark attached to the back of your snow pants by how much you rocked against him and the tree to bring you to that edge you desperately wanted to jump off.

And then all of a sudden, the bombardment of stimulation stopped. Papyrus pulled away, an orange tongue licking his teeth to savor your taste. You keened before you could control yourself. You finally managed some sharp panting and you looked at Papyrus in muted wonder. He gazed at you as if you were some form of delicate art, taking exceptional care to softly brush his hand against your cheek.

“Well?”

You were so close, it was practically unbearable. You squirmed uselessly. “Please,” you whispered.

Papyrus cocked his head at you. “Speak up, please?”

You whined but your body motivated you to continue your groveling. “Please.”

“Please, what?”

You gulped, your mouth dry, your heat pounding in your head. “Please help me cum.”

Papyrus’ grin turned sinister. “Oh, how wonderful. I was hoping you’d reconsider. You need to formally surrender now, human.”

You shuddered, not even caring. “I surrender.”

“Nuh uh. That’s not quite it,” he purred, dangling his body just out of reach. He gripped your chin and forced you to look straight at him. “You need to surrender to **me**.”

You gulped. “I-I surrender myself to you, Papyrus!” No sooner had those words left your lips, he was on you in a second, splitting your legs apart. He locked you into an oxygen stealing kiss, his other hand pressing roughly against your crotch. You rocked against the palm of his hand and with a final push, you felt yourself orgasm. He pulled away as you came, your body shaking involuntarily with the force of your rapidly induced orgasm. Finally your body stopped twitching and your breathing fell from full out moans to choked gulps of breath.

What had you done? You looked at him with half lidded eyes and saw his expression changed. “You are mine now, human, rightfully so,” he practically gloated, looking at you less than a piece of art and more like a piece of meat. His fingers ran along our thigh only for you to gasp and jerk back.

“I, uh, am still pretty sensitive,” you gasped as he continued to grope the around your crotch.

“I hope so.”

“I mean sensitive in a way that I don’t think I’m going to cum again.” He grunted and removed his hand. You relaxed slightly only to feel his hand slide underneath your pants and press against your sex. You resisted somewhat as you felt his phalanges prod your damp sex through your thong.

“You’re practically dripping at my touch,” Papyrus retorted, sliding his hand lewdly along your clothed sex.

He was right. Already your body was heating up again, now responding eagerly to his touches. You glared at him. “Did you use magic on me?”

Papyrus smirked, an orange pupil betraying any attempt to hide the magic. “Only to keep you warm, human.”

“You’re lying.”

“No. However, your body seems to enjoy even my slightest traces of magic. Perhaps a little demonstration of how wonderful this could really feel is necessary for your complete cooperation?”

You opened your mouth in protest only to release a strangled cry as his tongue dragged over your breasts, leaving trails of orange to decorate your skin. You bucked into his hands as he continued his sensual assault.

Papyrus’ voice wavered as this continued. “Magic is only as effective as its intents and reception. And you’re practically draining me of mine.” Whatever part of you left that could reason analyzed his words. He was suggesting you wanted this? That was insane just oh-oh, god, yes, right there, please press there again!

To your horror, you realized you had actually voiced that last desire out loud. Papyrus pressed his digits again into your clitoris once more. You had to ground yourself, remind yourself why you were here. To get fresh air. To be ready for your date. That was starting soon. “But-but the date. It’s in thirty minutes,” you plead, rocking yourself into his hand.

“Date?” Papyrus’ sockets narrowed and he removed his hand from your pants. “you’re still thinking about your **date**?” He spat, legitimate anger in his sockets.

“Wait, please!” You gasped as he began to remove your pants and pull them down.

“You are **mine** , human,” he growled, unbuckling his snow pants and freeing a long orange ecto penis. Your eyes widened at the rod even as your vaginal walls clenched eagerly in anticipation. He pulled you against his throbbing membrane, pressing it against your bottom lips.

“Papyrus I-!”

“ **MINE** ,” he growled and with that, he plunged in as deep as possible, hilting you.

You yelped as you could feel the hot membrane pulsate spastically inside you. He was taking deep breaths to steady himself. You wondered if just entering you was a challenge for him not to cum right away. “So good, so nice and warm and wet,” he groaned, planting sloppy kisses against your face and neck.

Finally after a moment he began to thrust awkwardly. Your position certainly didn’t help matters and you wondered if he would tire of trying to screw you like this. Gradually, he adjusted you as his thrusts assumed a constant vigor to them. His hands rested on your butt, squeezing the soft tissues.

Your tongue hung out, panting for air and you threw your head back, beckoning him to continue orally assault your neck, which he gladly did. You arms dropped from where they had been suspended, still tied together, but free nevertheless. You caught a glimpse of his skull that, although consumed by lust and the scar smudged, still sent a warning to you not to attempt escape. You obliged, linking your arms around his neck to balance yourself.

You rutted against him, trying to take it as much of his organ as you could. An action that did not go unnoticed. He adjusted your now much more flexible position. Those hands that groped your rear pushed down on you, forcing you to take his length even further than you thought possible. It was after a particular thrust you realized he was talking to you.

“Can **he** make you feel like this? No. No human can. Only I can make you feel like this!” Your breasts bounced and pressed against his chest as he continued to taunt you.

“Oh God!” You choked, his dick striking every needy nerve in your body. You spread your legs, continuing to thrust in time with him.

“I wonder if he’s thinking about you right now?” He cackled, biting at your nipples. “How do you think he would feel if he came upon us now?

“No, no I can’t-nobody can,” you gasped, the thought of anyone stumbling upon you was too horrifying to comprehend.

Papyrus practically fed off your fear. “Yes, wouldn’t it be such a sight to see? You plunging yourself on my dick, making those lewd cries,” He laughed and gestured down, “So greedy you are, I’m not even moving.”

What? You looked down. True to his word, his hips were not moving. Instead your wet, hungry sex continuously rubbed and penetrated itself on his member on its own, trying to reach that second attempt at orgasmic relief.

You looked up at his sockets. His skull appeared strained with exertion. He was close. He resumed fucking you, this time at a more manageable pace. “Why-why don’t you call for help?” He panted near your ear.

“What?”

“Call for him,” Papyrus grunted, squeezing your breasts, “For your date. Scream out to see if he will come.

You bit your lip. He was serious. You couldn’t scream here. What if there was an avalanche? He noticed your hesitation and his voice became hard. He grasped your breasts very tightly and slammed into you, nearly touching your womb. “ **Scream** ,” he demanded.

You couldn’t hold back any longer. “Papyrus!” You shrieked, your hips grinding into his as if your very life depended on it. And for all you knew, it did.

He growled and his exertions doubled, screwing you without abandonment. His cock once again throbbed, warning you that he was reaching his limit. “I’m close, so close,” he groaned.

“Papyrus, please,” you shamelessly begged, rutting against him. “I want you. I need you! Please!” Your plea stifled into a cry of ecstasy as you came.

That contractions that followed forced an equally animalistic shout from Papyrus, your walls tightening around his shaft. He orgasmed, coating your inner walls with hot spurts of cum. You felt so warm and so full. Filled with his hot dripping seed. Somehow this comforted and soothed in some primal way.

You both stilled as you rode out your orgasms. Soon, the only sound in the forest was the heavy breathing and the occasional wet sound when either of you stirred. Papyrus slid out of you, excess magic staining the snow below you. He panted heavily and for a moment you thought this was your chance.

“I, uh, wow, Papyrus…can you let me go?”

The skeleton seized you with a burst of vigor and chuckled. “I’m afraid not. I will require more than this to sate my newfound desire for your body. Nyeh heh heh!” You did not have the energy to struggle as he lined up his dick, which was semi hard, with your sopping wet entrance. You already felt your tired body tingle with anticipation. You looked over Papyrus’ shoulder one last time only to do a double take.

Something was walking toward you. Your eyes went as wide as dinner plates and you thumped your hands on the back of his neck. “Papyrus,” you urgently whispered, “Ketchup!”

“Nyeh heh heh, no one can-what?”

“Ketchup!” You said the code word more insistently.

His own sockets’ widened and his conqueror persona dropped instantly. He immediately began to inspect you. “Is everything alright? Did I hurt you?”

“No, no,” you reassured him.

“I realized it was rather intense.”

“No, Papyrus,” you hissed, “someone’s coming!”

Papyrus barely had enough time to pull himself off of you before the intruder entered your vicinity. The young man was midway through his call.

“I heard some screaming is everyone -?” He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the scene in front of him. Papyrus was swiftly pulling his pants back up and you were trying to unsuccessfully dress yourself with bound hands. The human face palmed. “OH FOR THE LOVE OF-DAMMIT! Are you guys serious right now?!” He shouted.

“This was kind of a spur of the moment type of thing!” You tried to defend yourself.

“That we established safe code words for in advance,” Papyrus added.

The man gestured behind him. “My SISTER is here!”

“Andrew, we are so sorry!” You apologized profusely, finally zipping up your jacket.

The ex mugger was livid, still not looking at you guys. “You better be! Get your damn clothes on, you perverts!” Andrew turned and stalked off, muttering angrily under his breath.

You and Papyrus exchanged awkward glances before giggling. He helped you pull up your pants before untying your hands. You retrieved your long orange scarf and wrapped it around yourself protectively. You eyed your torn thermal shirts and scooped them up, shooting a Papyrus a dirty look which he avoided with an innocent whistle.

“Hey! Don’t ruin my shirts. I was serious when I said there were $60!” You muttered, starting to follow Andrew’s path.

“Eh, one moment please,” Papyrus asked. You paused and looked at him worriedly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Did you-you do you really have a date tonight?” He asked, trying to remain casual about this.

“Well, yeah.” You admitted.

His countenance fell. “Ah.”

“It’s with you, you numbskull. Don’t you remember?” The skeleton froze. You gaped at him. “Oh my God, you forgot?

“I well, did I make reservations?”

“No, I did!” You chuckled at him. “Did you really think I would go out with someone else tonight?”

“But you said your date was interested in someone else!” He protested, recalling your words.

“Mettaton.”

“Oh come on—that’s not fair!” He argued.

“I’m not hearing a no,” you teased.

“He is very attractive,” he admitted.

“Yes, yes he is,” you begrudgingly agreed. That robot Monster could be a drop dead handsome stud when he wasn’t being overly invasive into your personal life.

“When was our reservation for?”

“Uh, about fifteen minutes ago,” you admitted sheepishly, “I was trying to tell you earlier but uh, you know.”

Papyrus blushed. “Perhaps we could arrive fashionably late?” He mused as you both made your way out of the brush.

“Or, we could head back to the lodge for that hot chocolate meet up with Toriel,” you suggested.

Papyrus beamed. “That sounds good too. Just no jokes about feeling hot or being a sexy widdle marshmallow,” he muttered.

“What was that last part?” You asked.

“Skele man! Skele man! I found you!” You looked up to see Andrew’s little sister and Frisk running up to you. Andrew quickly caught up to the two children, yanking off his hoodie to get some of that cold air.

“Hey guys, sorry about that. We got a bit lost,” you lied to the innocent children.

“Yes, I had to recapture her,” he added before you could elbow him.

Frisk grinned. “That’s alright. Andrew had us play hide and seek. We heard you guys were having a special type of hug.”

You turned beet red. Rachel continued for Frisk. “Yes, the special type of hug only mommies and daddies have.” She gasped and squealed. "Are you guys going to be a mommy and a daddy? I would be the best babysitter in the world!” the eight year old gushed.

“Uh, not quite there yet!” You laughed.

Rachel huffed. “Well hurry up, I want to be an aunt.”

“Okay, sis, that’s enough,” Andrew begged, leading the group back to the path. Thankfully the snow seemed to have melted a little bit, making the trek a bit easier and you soon found yourself back on the path. Andrew tried to figure out the map before Frisk finally took it from him and lead the way back to the lodge. Andrew followed thereafter, holding his sister’s hand as she bragged about being the best aunt ever.

This left Papyrus and you to bring up the rear, so you trailed behind them, his arm resting around you comfortably. “That was fun,” you admitted with a wicked smile.

“Yes, it certainly put my acting skills to the test- Rugged, emotionless and capable of deadly unfeeling force!” he boasted.

“You had some pretty good lines!” You agreed.

“I rehearsed.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“So…you actually practiced beforehand?”

“Yes, that’s the definition of rehearsed.”

You ran a finger along his jaw bone. “So, all of that mine and surrendering talk?” You pressed.

“I may have gotten a bit carried away, too wrapped up in my new persona.”

“Mmmhmm.”

Papyrus hesitated. “Perhaps if we had continued, I could have been lost forever. Trapped in a fantastical world full of human capturing that I created – mmm.”

You pressed a kiss to his teeth before pulling away. “Well, I’m really glad you didn’t,” you assured him. “I like you just the way you are, no battle scar needed,” you informed him as you rubbed off the rest of the disguise.

His chest puffed out. “I’m glad I’m still here as well. I would imagine that I would get very boring to you if I was some sex driven Monster of the snow!”

“La la la! Children are here! Head phones!” Andrew yelled back at you both, clasping his hands over Rachel’s ears.

You made an oops face and Papyrus waved apologetically. You were quiet for a little before you felt his breath on your neck. “What is it?”

“Was that my present?”

“What?

He slid a finger under your bra strap and gave it a gentle tug. “This.”

“Oh uh, yes. Did you like it?”

“Oh definitely. But I’d admit, I think this would look better in a laundry hamper.” You stared at him. “You know, not on you. Cause you’d be naked instead and we’d be doing things.” You cracked a smile. “Mommy and daddy things,” he emphasized.

“Oh my God, Pap!” You laughed, “How about girlfriend and boyfriend things?”

He pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Oh good. I mean, I’m sure I’d give excellent dad hugs if you really wanted that.”

“Stop right there and don’t say anything else,” you pleaded.

“Can I say two more things?”

“Nothing about parents?”

“No, no.”

“Okay, go for it.”

“Happy Anniversary,” he cheered.

You felt your face go aglow. “Happy Anniversary to you, too. What was the second thing?”

Papyrus drew you into an ardent kiss that made your knees knock together. You still felt a bit like jelly when he pulled away, throwing his head back in laughter. “Nyeh heh heh heh!” Before you could do anything else, he dashed forward and scooped up Frisk and Rachel in one fell swoop. “I have captured the most dangerous of all humans! Children!” He declared triumphantly.

“Oh son of a- give me back my little sister!” Andrew yelled. Papyrus turned and ran up the road, egged on by laughing children. Andrew groaned, “Why do I hang out with you guys?” He moaned before you both took off Papyrus and ill-gotten treasure.

Chasing your boyfriend down to reclaim stolen children? Not a bad way to end a rather exciting anniversary. Not bad at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, and with that we end Chapter 100. Was this a dream? A glimpse into the future? Something that never happened? You decide! 
> 
> Please tell me if you liked this, I kinda took a chance with this chapter. 
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
>   
> [Happy 100th Chapter (NSFW!! Super sexy)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/160691668009/waggles-eyebrows-more-<a%20href=) by peanutbutter-n-meli.  
>   
>   
> 
> 
>  
> 
>  
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>  
> 
> [Roleplaying: Expectation vs Reality (last one is NSFW)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/160724035514/smallpersiankitten-peanutbutter-n-meli) by peanutbutter-n-meli  
>   
>   
>   
> And like always, the master list of fantastic art: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	101. Manic Monday Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ya'll! Did everyone have fun with Chapter 100? Or are we just more confused? Or possibly both?  
> [Basically, last chapter was same universe but an indication of a possible future event (provided our main couple finally gets together and starts a successful romantic relationship).]
> 
> Now regardless if that last chapter confused you or not, we have two amazing fanart pieces from it. And, they are NSFW but holy shit, you need to click on them and give them some love! Seriously, go click these links and shower them in affection and kisses: [Happy 100th Chapter (NSFW!! Super sexy)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/160691668009/waggles-eyebrows-more-than-necessary-for-you) and [Roleplaying: Expectation vs Reality (last one is NSFW)](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/160724035514/smallpersiankitten-peanutbutter-n-meli)
> 
> That being said, hopefully you enjoy this chapter as things return to normal. Or as normal as we're going to get.

You had barely made it in the front door of your work when your office manager immediately accosted you. “You. Office. Now.” 

“Uh…good morning to you too, Tina,” you greeted, following her into her office. This was an odd but probably not that unexpected beginning to your Monday morning. Most likely the janitor had thrown an absolute shit fit on Sunday. Righteously so. You stared at her desk curiously. A pile of brightly ripped up paper lay in front of her computer screen. You did not have the opportunity to ask about it as Tina fixed you with a steely stare. 

“I’m going to ask you one question and I want an honest answer.”

“Uh, sure.” This did not bode well.

“Saturday night, the hospital was used outside of normal business hours and an injection of apomorphine was given to a patient.” You nodded, a small amount of panic starting to form at the pit of your stomach. Tina was choosing her words carefully. “I understand it was on an emergency basis so the lack of a client-patient relationship prior to treatment can be overlooked. But I want to know. Who gave the injection?” 

You bit your lip before slowly answering. “Dr. Johnson gave the injection.” 

Tina tapped her fingers. “Dr. _Johnson_ gave the injection, yes?”

“…Yes.”

She stared at you, an unspoken understanding between you both before she nodded. “Alright then. Thank you. I just needed to confirm that a Dr. Johnson gave the injection and we have a Dr. Johnson here so logic would dictate that our Dr. Johnson gave the injection. Ya get me?”

“I got you.”

“Good.” She paused and cleared her throat. “I’m not banning the skeleton Monster again. I saw you ripping up the photo yourself the night before on the cameras,” She argued, pointing to the pieces of colored paper. 

You shook your head. “I wasn’t going to…did you say cameras?” 

Tina nodded. “Yeah, cameras. I also saw your drunk ass get carried out of here by your ex. Probably not your proudest moment, huh?” 

“No, no it wasn’t." You hesitated. “And anything else?” Shit, you forgot your hospital had cameras. Had they captured EVERYTHING that happened in the receptionist area last night?

She bit her lip. “Actually now that you mention it, there was a lot of interference after everyone went back into the technician area. I really didn’t get the video to focus until you showed up and ripped up the photo.” 

You gulped. “Huh. Okay. Good to know. Well, I guess I’m off to work now, yeah?” 

“Yeah, get the hell out of here. I’m not paying you to chat.” 

“Cool.” You excused yourself rather quickly and finally headed to the technician area. 

You had unbanned Papyrus. You knew that much coming into work. And Tina made it abundantly clear that you weren’t going to be allowed to ban him again. Not that you really wanted to pursue that anytime soon. Actually, you didn’t want to even consider it. The fact that you had done this at all to begin with left a foul taste in your mouth. 

That had been a petty move. Anyone else who had known that you did this probably thought this was a bit overboard. And although they were probably right, perhaps it had been for the best that you had banned him at that time. Would you really have been able to see him if he suddenly popped in? He would have walked in smiling and...Well you couldn't handle that. You knew yourself well enough to know that you wouldn't have been able to speak with him without causing a scene. Work was stressful enough trying to maintain anesthesia and keep patients alive. 

Maybe it wasn't the right decision at the time, but it was the decision that you needed to make if you had any hope of returning back to a normal life….although speaking of a normal life, that was seeming to be far less possible the longer you kept attending these dance sessions. 

And what the fuck was up with the cameras failing on you? In fact what the fuck was up with witnesses/surveillance equipment failing when you were being molested by a skeleton? The elevator cameras didn't record the first instance Sans came on to you. And Kaylie didn't hear a peep when you were nearly getting murdered/raped by Sans. And just recently last Saturday night, Pap had pinned you to the floor and made out with you. Again, not one of your prouder moments especially since you're pretty sure you were somewhat receptive to his actions. Not that you'd ever admit that out loud. 

Christ. You were going to see him tonight. What would you say? You spotted Tim squealing and holding up a pug puppy. You'd have to figure it out later. Right now there was a puppy. And it was absolute madness to miss out on a puppy. 

~~~~~

You stared at the protestor sitting by the front steps of the ballroom. The sun had just started to set and the shadow from the building had obscured him initially when you approached so you hadn't seem him until you almost practically ran into him. It was an elderly man that held up a crudely made sign. He caught you staring at him. “Are you going in there?” He asked leerly.

“I got class, so, yeah,” you admitted. 

“Can’t you read the sign?” You blinked at him. He sighed and pointed to the sign. “Monsters Go Home,” he informed you.

You read it again. “Uh, no, it says, ‘Mexicans Go Hone’.”

“What?” The old man flipped around his sign and stared at it before scowling. He pulled out a marker and scribbled on it before turning it back to you. It now read ‘Mexicans ^+ Monsters Go Hone’.

“You still spelled home wrong.” 

“You young people think you’re so smart with your grammar. But what good will your youngness be when the Monsters pillage our women and rape our dogs?”

You gaped at him. “I’m sorry, the fuck?” 

“Jake, you backwards little twat. Are you going on about the Mexicans again?” You both turned to see the seventy year old man from class with his arms crossed. It was hard not to miss him as he was sporting a bright salmon T shirt and some neon pants with flip flops. You were pretty sure that you weren’t supposed to wear flip flops in dance class. But you had no intention of saying anything about that at the moment. 

The old protestor seemed just as surprised to see him. “Edwardson? What are you doing in this class? You know there are monsters in there, right?” He asked hesitantly.

“There are? Well, shit. I just thought it was the Quad Grande Skim Caramel Macchiato I was chugging before each class.”

“Edwardson!”

“With an extra shot, extra hot and extra whip for this bad boy,” Edwardson finished with a knowing nod. 

“This isn’t funny.” 

“Damn straight it’s not. You think I could justify paying for the good stuff if it didn’t make monsters appear? Here I was expecting a monkey horse hybrid riding a rainbow to show up next. Damn.” He blinked and realized you were there. “Oh. How long have you been here?” 

Longer than you should be. “Oh, uh a few minutes,” you mumbled.

“Well, don’t listen to this nutjob. He thinks the Commies are out to eat babies or something.”

“Mexicans! I mean, Monsters! Edwardson-!”

“Oh, nobody calls me that anymore. It’s Eddy,” Eddy reminded. He waved toward you. “Why don’t you go ahead, sweetheart?” 

“Uh, are you sure about that?” 

“Yes, yes. Absolutely fine. I’ve got a fine piece of Latin ass waiting for me when this is all done.” The old protestor cocked his head at Eddy who grinned. “I’m talking about my boyfriend. He lets me top when I’ve been good.” The protestor gawked at him. 

You should be going now. Hopefully nothing else made this evening more awkward than it needed to be. 

~~~~~

“I want to apologize for Saturday night.” 

So much for the evening not degenerating even further. You looked up from your small phone book to see Jeremy earnestly looking at you. Oh yeah…you were hoping to stall on this failed date. You glanced around the rest of the dance class. Although almost everybody was here, nobody was close enough for you to drag over to avoid this awkward conversation you did not want to have. 

“Really, it's fine,” You answered, your eyes not meeting his.

“I could have at least called you a cab or something,” he continued. 

“Yeah, actually you could have.” Your date winced at your words, but you just shrugged. “Hindsight is 20/20, right?”

“Supposedly yes.”

“Did you get Chelsea home okay?”

“Yeah. Her parents were PISSED.”

You chuckled. “I’m sure they were.”

Jeremy sighed. “They siced the Dobermans on me afterwards. See?” He rolled up his sleeve to show some scratches and a couple of bite marks. 

Your eyes widened. “Holy fuck, dude. Did you go to the hospital?” 

“Nah. Nothing can break these fine ass biceps.”

“I would imagine not, no.” You rocked on the balls of your heels. God, did you even try to bring up the condom? It was already awkward enough as it was. And he got attacked by a fucking dog on Saturday. Then again, so did you. Decisions, more decisions.

Jeremy blurted out, “Thanks for being my girlfriend.”

“Sure thing. Although now that you mention it, I did find something in my purse. Did-did you slip a condom into my purse?” You tried to be casual about. You had engaged in casual sex plenty of times. Perhaps you needed to just clarify with Jeremy. 

However judging by his reaction, that didn't appear to be the case. His mouth dropped open in shock. “Oh my god, they didn't.”

“They?”

Jeremy groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “My coworkers. We play this game at my work where we try to slip condoms into co-worker's boyfriends and girlfriends bags when they come to visit.”

Your jaw dropped. “Are you serious? That is incredibly immature. And that’s coming from someone who absolutely did not steal any of the dinner mints in the restroom in your place!”

“Yeah I know, but….hold up, what did you just say?”

“Nothing.” You were going to put those mints on your pillows for days just like a hotel. Heheh.

Jeremy cleared his throat. “Well, like I said, everyone does it. Still, I’m sorry you got dragged into it. Here,” He held out his hand, “l’ll take it back so they can prank someone else.”

Huh. What had you done with it? Last you knew you had shown it to Papyrus and…well, you never got it back from him. Oops. “Oh, yeah, I don’t have it anymore,” you shrugged.

Jeremy tensed. “What do you mean you don’t have it?”

You snickered. He fucked with you, time to fuck with him. “I used it,” you lied.

The air got a little bit colder. Was it just your imagination or did he get a bit scarier too? “Who did you use it with?” He asked in a tone you weren’t quite comfortable with.

You decided to respond with violence. You punched him semi-gently in the shoulder. “Nosy, aren't we?”

Jeremy caught himself and laughed uneasily. “Yeah. Sorry just was worried someone took advantage of how you drunk you were.”

You shook your head. “Well for your information, I didn't do anything that night. I'll bring it back to you later this week if I can figure out where I left it.” Or at least until you could get Papyrus alone and ask for it. 

Jeremy nodded. “Sounds good. Hey, I’m thinking about asking Emilio if we could switch partners.”

You made a pshaw motion. “Ha, good luck with that. C’mon, don’t you like your partner?”

“Yeah, I mean, she’s really eager. But she’s not you, you know.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You _really_ want to be the guy who asks to switch partners? Everyone will think you’re an asshole.”

He held up his hands. “Alright, alright. You’re right. I didn’t think of that.”

“C’mon, for my sake, just try to have fun with this,” you asked, smiling. 

“Yeah, alright. For you, I can be good.” Jeremy glanced around. “Huh.”

“What?”

“You know I’m surprised I haven’t seen your dance partner yet.”

You bit your lip. “Yeah, now that you mention it, where is he?” 

“Good evening, human!” You turned around to see a large bottle of floating bleach talking to you. 

“Uh...good evening to you too?” Your eyes followed the bleach and realized a long skeletal hand was attached to it. It belonged to Papyrus. He looked positively elated. You found yourself smiling as well. 

“I have brought you some bleach for your whites!” Papyrus declared proudly, handing the jug to you. He spotted Jeremy behind you. “Hello friend! How are you?”

“Er good. Why did you give her bleach?” He asked, eying the bottle in your hands.

“I'm very glad you asked. When I spent the night with Lori, she had laundry all over her bedroom floor,” your dance partner announced. In context, this sounded really, really bad. Shit. “So naturally, being the considerate guest, I helped do laundry but she had no bleach for her whites.”

Double shit. Jeremy looked at you, shock evident on his stunning face. “Hang on...you don't bleach your whites?”

Your jaw dropped. “Oh my God, not you too.”

“Do you know how many white T shirts I own? I get those dirty all the time! Bleach is the only thing that keeps them looking great.”

“And socks! Especially socks! Without my laundry expertise, Sans’ sockets collection would all be gray! And what type of collection would it be, despite its grossness, that consisted of only grey clothing?”

You paused. “Your white socks turn grey when you don't bleach them?”

“Yes.”

Jeremy eyed your feet. “What color are your socks?”

Grey. They were very grey. You huffed. “None of your fucking business! I'm-I’m going to go talk to Tori. She's less crazy than you two.”

“She has a shoe collection!” Papyrus called after you. 

“What woman doesn't?” You shot back, walking away.

“Ignore her, Papyrus!” Jeremy taunted after you, pulling out his phone “C’mon, let me show you what a white shirt looks like after a laundry pro has at it!”

“Gladly!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild protestor appears! It uses Badly Spelled Sign! ...It's not very effective. 
> 
> The night is young and we're off to find Tori. Maybe she'll shed some light on what happened between her and Sans last Saturday. Or maybe things will just get more muddled.
> 
> And as always, go give those artists some love:  
> [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	102. Manic Monday Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half to our Monday so far. Leaving people talking about socks to find a Monster with shoes. That's progress! :D
> 
> Thank you everyone for your patience. This week has been especially busy! Especially since I'm going to be seeing Phantom of the Opera in a few hours (Pap would be a darling Phantom, wouldn't he? lol). :D

You walked over toward Toriel and were surprised not to see Frisk nearby. Wonder where that kid went to? He’s probably flirting with the 19 year old gal you had spotted earlier. 

“Hello Toriel!” You greeted warmly. 

She seemed surprised by your arrival. “Oh greetings! Have you been there long, dear?”

That was weird. She seemed distracted. You shook your head. “No, I just came by to say hi.” 

“I'm glad. How are you this evening?”

“I'm doing alright.” You didn't want to pry.

“That is good. The Captain informed me of Saturday night events,” she began.

“Yes, it definitely was interesting.” Saturday night certainly was interesting. It probably would have been even more interesting if you remembered everything that happened. However, you didn’t need to inform the Queen of all Monsters that you were partially inebriated when you were helping inject drugs into one of her subjects. 

Toriel smiled mysteriously. “Yes, they certainly were, weren’t they?” You weren’t sure how to respond to that so you just nodded and smiled. Toriel seemed to realize the slip and cleared her throat. “Am I correct in the assumption that Papyrus spent the evening with you?”

Your face reddened. “Oh uh, yes. He spent the night with me. Uh! Not like that! I mean, not that I wouldn't-” Your voice died to a whimper in your throat. 

Toriel held up a hand. “I understand what you are trying to say. I was just worried when he didn't come back after Sans asked him to leave for a bit.”

“Sans had Papyrus leave the house?” You asked hesitantly. This seemed rather out of character for Sans. He absolutely thought the world of Papyrus and the idea of him kicking out his younger brother was insane. “Did they have a fight?” 

Toriel shook her head. “No. I had been invited over to discuss some sensitive subjects with the brothers. There was a difference of opinion and Sans had Papyrus step out for an hour or so as things became heated between Sans and I.”

Heated? What the hell did that mean? “I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure…” Sans walked by and immediately you could feel the tension. You stopped midsentence. Sans stiffened at the sight of her and immediately glanced away, a bluish tinge jumping to his cheeks bones. Toriel appeared equally uncomfortable and watched him with slightly narrowed eyes. She looked irritated. Your mind tried to figure out what the fuck was going on until a single conclusion jumped forth.

Did...did they have sex? The discomfort was practically tangible at this point. You laughed awkwardly and clutched the jug of bleach to you protectively.

“Haha. Yes. Teaching can be pretty difficult,” you tried to say.

“It most certainly can be, especially when students don't take their teachers seriously and find that their endurance isn’t as good as they thought.” Sans quickened his pace at the comment and Toriel let out a small annoyed huff. 

Well there was no escaping the awkwardness regardless of where you walked to, huh? You decided the water fountain seemed the most normal place to be and attempted to make its acquaintance. Only to be stopped shortly before your goal by Mettaton. 

“Hello again!” He greeted enthusiastically. He spotted your jug of bleach and his optics brightened in curiosity. “Is that bleach?” He peered at the label and then back at you. “Is this the new fashion trend going around to carry household products? I really need to have a talk with my research and development team! I hate when I fall behind on the current styles.”

“What? No. No. What? No. Papyrus gave this to me to help me do my laundry better.”

“Really?”

“He was trying to help me and apparently bleach makes clothes stay white.”

Mettaton shrugged. “All my clothes are auctioned off after I wear them so I've never had to wash them. Plus bleach is just a nightmare on a motherboard.” Your words seemed to click something within him and he smiled. Too much. “He was helping with your laundry?”

Crap. “Yeah, uh, the morning after the Doggo thing...did you hear about that?”

“Of course! I hear Undyne is planning her own special way of saying thank you.” You felt yourself tense as you remembered that Undyne found many things that would otherwise be life threatening or explosive to be acceptable gifts and shuddered. Mettaton picked at nails he did not possess. “I'm sure it'll be absolutely exciting whatever it is.”

“I'm sure it will be.” If you survive whatever it is. 

Mettaton extended a hand and you took it carefully. “I really should thank you and your clinic as well. You not only saved a fellow Monster but MTT’s article about your heroism generated over 500,000 likes in the first 15 minutes of us posting it.”

“Oh. Uh wow. That's great.”

“Yes. It got just about as many likes as my other photo.”

This was a trap. Don’t ask about the other photo. Don’t ask about the other photo. Don’t ask about the other photo. “What other photo?” Fuck.

“I'm SO glad you asked!!” Mettaton flipped out his phone and scrolled to the Undernet App. “It was really a spur of the moment thing. No planning whatsoever. But aren't we just darling in this photo?” 

Your breath hitched in your throat. There was a photo of Mettaton kissing a smiling Papyrus on his cheekbone by a familiar looking fence. Looked like Undyne's obstacle course if you had to guess. True, to his word, the two looked absolutely darling together. You had honestly no idea how you should feel about this. On the one hand you had insisted that you and Papyrus did not attempt to rekindle any romantic arrangement. But at the same time, you really wanted to dump this entire bottle of bleach onto the robot's head. 

“Leaves you speechless, doesn't it?” Speechless was an appropriate term. Calling the robot a “stuck up bitch” was not an appropriate term. Mettaton cozied up next to you and began to stroke Papyrus figure in the photo. “I especially like how the light reflects off his cranium just enough to make him glow. That type of natural talent is so hard to come by. When you see it, you just got to snatch it up before someone else does, am I right?”

You scoffed. “I guess so, if posing pretty for paparazzi is your thing.”

“It could be if things continue like this,” Mettaton suggested coyly. The image of Papyrus posing dramatically in sunglasses came to mind and you started chuckling. 

“Those will be some great pictures then,” you admitted. The robot host smirked and attempted to place the phone smoothly back into one of his compartments only for it to remain jammed shut. 

He sighed. “I guess I should make that trip to Alphys sooner than I thought. Give me a second while I fetch a flathead from my bag.” The robot quickly walked away, leaving you with his phone. You debated deleting the photo but realized that was incredibly petty. Even if it was really close to your finger. Right next to the preview thumbnail of the next photo. You peered at that. Huh, that looked like Papyrus as well. You tapped it and immediately regretted the decision. 

It was a picture of Papyrus and Mettaton in a little café setting, sitting across from each other. It must have been from yesterday as you recognized it as the café Papyrus had asked about. But what really caught your eyes was the image of Papyrus and Mettaton locked in a lover’s kiss. 

You could feel a pit in the bottom of your stomach as his words from earlier suddenly carried on a much more serious meaning. There was no misconstruing the photo. The sound of Mettaton approaching made your hair stand on end. This is a photo you shouldn’t have seen in the first place! Oh my God. You swapped it back over to the original photo just as the robot returned. 

“Thank you, it gets a little bit stuck every now and then,” he thanked.

“No problem.”

Mettaton turned around and studied you quite intently. “You’re starting to look a bit pale. You and I really should have a spa day. There’s nothing like a specialized MTT spa day to put the glam back in your step!” You nodded dumbly along with his suggestion. “We could even make it a double date type of thing.” 

“Find your partners!” 

“I-I got to go,” you finally managed. And with that you stashed your jug of bleach to the side and left to find Papyrus. 

~~~~~

The relaxed start of the evening had dissipated. You probably would have noticed it sooner but you were desperately trying not to fuck up your dance steps as your mind raced about everything but dance steps. Although Papyrus did not force the lead, you did not feel like trying to take it from and instead followed his motions as fluently as you could. As you tripped over your shoe one time, you tried to tell yourself it was the more complicated dance steps that distracted you and nothing else.

Papyrus wasn’t speaking. Somehow this disturbed you and so you broke the ice. “Hey, so how are the steps?”

“More complicated,” Papyrus admitted, “But I think we are doing alright?” 

“Yeah, uh-I think we’re alright.” Somehow, you felt everything was off. “At least, I think we’re okay?”

“Ah.”

The silence that followed was uncomfortable. You needed to fill it with something. You weren’t sure what. You probably shouldn’t mention anything about Mettaton. Maybe make a comment about noticing that Emilio seemed in a better mood than normal. Or maybe the fact that Eddy’s pedicure really showed off in those flip flops he wasn’t supposed to be wearing. Christ, just something. “So, how’s uh, he feeling about…uh…this?” You could have slapped yourself.

“Who?” Papyrus questioned.

Just say never mind. “Mettaton?” You wish you had slapped yourself as at the mention of the star’s name, his skull broke into a delighted grin. Yet, the smile that lit up on the skeleton’s skull did make you feel a bit better about things.

“Oh! He seems excited! I’m so glad!” You cast a glance toward Mettaton who smiled devilishly at Sans who refused to make any eye contact with the star. Yes. He did appear to be having fun here in addition to his outside personal life that you snooped on. 

“And, your…companion, he seems pretty happy?” Papyrus inquired.

What was he talking about? “What?” You asked. 

“The other human?” You glanced to see him gesture to Jeremy. Right. He had been partnered with someone else. They were both smiling and he was doing a fairly good job of following routine. It looked like he was following your advice about appreciating his partner. Good for him. You couldn’t help but smile at your friend’s much improved demeanor with his now relieved dancing partner. 

“Oh yeah, he’s loads better!” You laughed.

Papyrus coughed. “And you’re happy too, right?” You eyed him suspiciously. 

Okay, clearly something was not being said. Was this his way of asking if you were okay with his budding relationship with Mettaton? Papyrus did appear uncomfortable. Then again, you just both established a friends only relationship, having dated prior. Perhaps he would want to engage in some PDA with Mettaton while here and wanted to make sure you weren’t put off by it?

Either way, it looks like he expected an answer and you quickly rationalized. If Papyrus was happy with Mettaton and they did stuff here, then you could be happy for them. That was fair. That’s what friends were supposed to do. You could support them. Or at least not strangle the fucking robot. “Oh yeah, I’m totally fine with it,” You answered affirmatively.

Papyrus sighed. “Then, I’m happy with it too.”

You rolled your eyes. “Well, duh, it would be weird if you didn’t.”

“It would?” 

This was irritating. Was he playing dumb on purpose? Was he trying to get you to admit something? You narrowed your eyes. “Oh c’mon, you don’t think Mettaton is hot?” 

“Yes? I mean…nyeh, I suppose you’re right, although your logic seems rather odd.”

“And if you guys want to do stuff, then that’s okay with me.”

Papyrus paused for a moment. “I see. Thank you.”

You hissed in pain as your foot collided against Papyrus’ boot when he didn’t retract it fast enough or maybe you were off beat. You were unsure at this point. You guys were off mark. Even Emilio looked irritably in your direction. Man. What if he made you guys sit out in front of everyone…especially Mettaton? The thought of looking like an idiot in front of your ex date’s new boyfriend made you far more nervous than you should have been. You shouldn’t feel like that. You said you were okay with everything. “We’re not okay,” you groaned.

“I agree.”

You scowled. Crap. This. This was not going to bother you at all. Just focus on dancing better. “So why don’t you actually start dancing…unless you’re too distracted by his shininess?” Ooh, you didn’t mean to have it come out that way. You leaned into him a bit more, strengthening your hold as the words left your lips.

“I am not distracted but it’s understandable that you would feel the need to impress upon me your own feelings of distractionability.” Papyrus retorted, pulling you closer and bridging the majority of distance between your feet.

“What are you -That’s –that’s not even a real word?!” You protested, putting more oomph into your right foot as it trailed after his.

“Yes it is! If I use it, it must be real. Perhaps you should reread the dictionary?” He taunted, nudging you backwards sharply.

“Nobody uses dictionaries anymore. They can just look it up on their phone!” 

“Well, if you’re so sure, then why don’t you look it up on your phone?”

Well, why don’t you-oh yeah. Your phone was deceased. “I-I can’t right now,” you remembered.

“Aha! I accept your admission of defeat,” he grinned.

“It’s not an admission of defeat, I literally do not have a functioning cell phone.”

“Ha! A likely story!” 

“A likely-? You were there!”

Papyrus blinked and an orange blush tinted his bones. “Ah, yes.”

You rolled your eyes as you felt your back curl into a new pose. “Seriously, I have no idea how you didn’t remember. You had me pinned against a chair for God’s sake!” Your outburst made a nearby couple glance your way awkwardly.

“We also beat diabolical on your phone game!” Papyrus suddenly gasped.

“What?”

“Do you think it saved our score before it got crushed?” 

“I-I have no idea. I was too busy dodging plaster!” 

Papyrus snickered. “Now, let’s see whose memory is failing.”

What was he-oh. Right. You didn’t actually dodge. He had cast some form of barrier. “Ah, yeah, uh, thanks for not letting me get crushed with that, uh…what do you call it?”

“Defensive Tower Formation?”

“Yes. That-that’s really its name?” You asked skeptically. What a terrible name. 

“Well, I call it DTF for short.” You snorted and laughed. 

“Oh my God, you didn’t.” 

“I did.”

“You got to call it something else.” 

“Why? What’s wrong with that?”

“Yeah it means down to fuc-”

TWEET! 

“Thank you, everyone,” Emilio ended, addressing the entire class. Everyone stopped at the whistle as he continued. “Some of you guys were really terrible tonight, but thankfully a few of you managed to end not as terribly as you began!” The morale in this room was fantastic.

You guys were done already? You removed your hands from each other and you realized how close you actually were to the skeleton. You took a quick hop back and chuckled awkwardly. “Uh, well, right. That, that wasn’t too bad?”

Papyrus nodded, a half smile gracing his skull. “No. We still have a ways to go, but I think for now…”

“We’re okay?” You concluded. He nodded in affirmation.

“Yes. We’re okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're okay. And that's okay. Next update should be a little bit sooner than this. (Onward to the opera for me)
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	103. Taco Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I made a chapter called Taco Tuesday and published it on a Wednesday...sigh. I was trying. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy a completely normal, relaxing Tuesday chapter on a Wednesday. :D

“Hun, did you see someone left you a present?” Pam called as you walked in to work, your hands desperately grasping onto the coffee you had bought this morning after what ended up being a rather rough night of dancing and thinking and more thinking.

“A present?” You asked hopefully. Had Papyrus brought you a present? Er, not that you were expecting anything from him. That would be silly. You really needed to start drinking that coffee you had brought with you. Those thinking thoughts were starting to seep in and the last thing you wanted to do was think at your job as a nurse.

“Yes, it’s been placed in a yellow bag and there’s some instant noodles in here as well.” You held your breath.

“..in their packaging?” You wavered.

“Of course, silly.” You exhaled gratefully.

“Thanks, Pam-hang on, did you already open my present?” You asked suspiciously.

“No, dear. I definitely did not see the cute little bag and the four packets of noodles.”

You rolled your eyes and walked up to the front area. Pam gave you the most innocent expression ever as she handed over your clearly tampered with bag. You shot her a smirk and retrieved it. Sure enough, there were a few packets of instant noodles and a small bag. You emptied the contents of the small bag into your hand. 

“It’s-it’s my cellphone,” you realized, staring at your mobile device. It was your cell phone. Intact and not a scratch to be found. The last time you had seen your phone, it had been decimated by a falling tub filled with reptiles. "Alphys must have-”

Your phone instantly went off with a text. You tapped the message. 

“Hi! If I was correct in determining your schedule, you should be getting your phone back right now!”

You made a motion to type a reply back, when another message popped. “Oh! I’m sorry it’s me!” 

Pause. Ding. “Alphys.” 

You tried again. 

Ding. “Uh, you probably knew that.” 

You barely had a chance to blink. 

Ding. “Because I saw my contact when I was fixing your phone.” 

You sighed. 

Ding. “Errr, uh well call me if your phone gives you problems.” 

…

Ding. “But uh, don’t call me this weekend.” 

No words still.

Ding. “I mean, you can call me, but I won’t be able to answer. Sans and I have the science conference.”

Good to know.

Ding. “I’m sure it’ll be okay.” 

Of course.

Ding. “If your phone gets really warm, you should probably put it on the ground and get about 5ft away.” 

What? 

Ding. “Actually, uh let’s say 10 to be safe.” 

Shit.

Ding. “Uh….bye!” 

Finally?

Ding. “=^-^=”. 

You waited but no more messages. Not even from your parents. Which granted, they were abroad and probably couldn’t text, but damn, come on mom and dad, not even an attempt? Oh well. You were about to tuck your well missed cellular device in your pocket when your phone dinged with another notification.

“Oh my god, I love you Alphys, but dear God, please stop,” you mumbled, pulling out your phone.

Oh, it was a voicemail. From Papyrus? “IS IT PAPYRUS?” Pam screeched into your ear.

“Jesus Christ!” You squeaked, nearly jumping out of your gray socks. You shot her a dirty look. “Dammit, Pam, don’t scare me like that.” 

“What did he say?” Cheri prompted, leaning over your other shoulder

“Hang on, let me hit play. Creeper.” You hit play.

“Human! This is Papyrus! In my haste to solve the number puzzle, I put you in a position where I handled you rather roughly and not guard like at all. I’ve since learned that it was actual rather lewd. I did not intend to overstep the bounds of our current relationship. Please know that I hold you in the highest regard and look forward to you being angry with me soon!”

You felt the blood drain out of your face as the two receptionists hovered next to you. You quickly disconnected the voicemail. “So, uh, yeah, I should go back to work.”

“Ooooohhhhhh!” Pam and Cheri gasped. 

“Don’t you start!” 

“Rough and lewd? So far, your sex life seems far more interesting than mine,” Cheri snickered.

“Not mine,” Pam bragged, “But it sounds like a good start.”

You blushed furiously. “Oh God, Pam, I did not need that image.”

“Let’s just say, my husband gives a whole new meaning to the words Taco Tuesday.” You shuddered.

“I’m going to go.”

“Isn’t it Tuesday?” Cheri asked a devilishly smiling Pam.

“Now.”

~~~~~

For the rest of the day, you could not look Pam in the etes without her forming the word “Taco” at you. “Pam is so immature for a 62 year old woman,” you muttered near TJ. 

“She told you about Taco Tuesday too?” the doctor groaned.

“Oh my God, not you, TJ.”

By the time Tuesday night came around and you could go home, you dashed home before anyone could bring up any more mentions of crunchy and soft tacos. The second you got in, you immediately plugged your phone into its dusty, unused charger. The click of the cord connecting with its charge hole made you realize how much you were actually addicted to your phone. But you didn’t care, because you had your phone back. You paused as you grabbed your laptop. Huh, normally you would hear the hustle and bustle of dinner being prepared next door but your neighbors were surprisingly quiet. You shrugged and quickly opened your email to message your parents. 

Now that you had your phone, perhaps there was a chance you could talk to your parents? That would be kind of a nice thing. It felt like they had been gone forever, even if it was less than a month. And hell, this wasn’t even the longest trip they had taken. Once they were gone for half a year. Christ, your parents were in their fifties and were already having way more adventures than you now. 

It probably felt much longer to you because your life had been an emotional wreck for the last well, month. Your parents had literally left two days prior to even contacting Jeremy so your conversation with them had been mostly cat pictures and random stories. Not that that wasn’t bad, but man, wouldn’t it be nice to have an actual conversation with them.

You tapped on the keyboard impatiently, about to construct a message of your own to your parents, when you heard a strange noise. You walked out into the kitchen and stared at the microwave for longer than you cared to admit before it clued in that it was your phone notifying you that you got a text message. You face palmed slightly before walking back to your phone and picking it up. It was a text from Papyrus. You tapped it open.

“Hello human! I have decided to take you up on your suggestion earlier this week. I looked up DTF online and…well, the name clearly needs to be changed. Naturally, I had a back up in the case that the name could be misconstrued due to a lack of maturity.” You chuckled. “Therefore, that move will hereby be known as Unified Targeted Imposition, or UTI for short.”

You bit your lip. “Urinary Tract infection?” You typed back.

Your phone dinged with a response. You opened it up. “No. That’s just ughhh, nevermind. How about Personal Defense Assistant – PDA?”

“Public displays of affection.”

“That’s not terrible.”

“Usually refers to heavy making out or sex,” you added quickly. You could just imagine the skeleton groaning on his end.

“Fine. How about Massive Infantry Leveled Formation (MILF)?”

“Mother I’d like to Fuck.” This game was fun.

“Your language is terrible.” You giggled. There were a few moments before another text came in. “Tactical Defensive Tower Mold.”

“TDTM?”

“Yes.”

“Talk dirty to me.”

Your phone rang and you tried to wipe the shit eating grin off your face. You answered it as nonchalantly as you could. “Hello?” 

“Why do you ruin all of my hard labor?” You slapped a hand over your mouth to muffle the guffaw that threatened to bust out of you as the skeleton continued to rant. “We’ve nearly gone through my entire list!”

“Oh my God, you have more?!” You choked. 

“Just one! And you’ll spoil it, I know.” 

Well now you just had to know. “Oh, c’mon please. Papyrus!! Tell me.”

“Well, since you said, please, very well. Integral Longstanding Yoke, or ILY for short.” He huffed, “This is not my best one, I’ll admit. You see, there was this documentary on domesticated bison and-“

“I love you,” you quipped. 

There was dead silence on the other end. Your grin vanished immediately as you realized what you said. “I mean, uh, you know ILY stands for I love you in texting!” You blabbered quickly. 

“Of course,” he coughed, the awkwardness thick enough to beat it over the head with a shoe and then throw it down the stairs.

“Yeah, I’m not, uh was just trying…” you continued to try to explain. 

“I understand. Don’t worry,” he attempted to reassure you. You racked your brain for something else to say but couldn’t think of anything. “Well, thank you for your assistance. I will have to brainstorm some new names that can’t be misconstrued. I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

You nodded before realizing he could not see you nod. “Oh yeah, yeah. I’ll be there.” 

“Excellent. Have a good night!” He mercifully disconnected the phone and you smashed your face against a pillow. You yanked your head out and grabbed your laptop. Right. Parents. Now. You yanked open the computer and began to type to your parents:

“Hey guys, I got my phone back. I don’t know if I told you, but it was destroyed by a falling bath tub. Anyway, it would be really cool if we could talk. I’m fine. It would just be really nice to talk to you guys. I love you.” You sent the message. You stretched and got up to go grab a beer from the fridge. 

Your phone rang. You glanced at the time. It was 8:40PM. That was a bit late for a phone call. It was a number you didn’t recognize. You answered it curiously. “Hello?” 

“Hi hon! Everything okay?” 

You blinked. “Dad? What time is it over there?”

“5:40AM.”

“Oh. That’s kinda early. Everything alright? Whose number are you calling from?” 

“Oh yes. Everything’s fine. Just ran out to the payphone real quick since your mom’s asleep…Just, was concerned about you.”

“What? Why?”

“You said you’re fine.”

“Me saying that I’m fine means something’s wrong?”

“I’ve been married to your mother for 35 years. And when she says everything’s fine, everything’s not.” You smiled weakly. You were apparently more like your mother than you thought. “Want to talk about it?” He asked.

You sat back down, letting yourself sink into the couch. “Yeah. Just, uh, how much in the loop are you about what’s going on with me at the moment?” 

“Well, based on what I’ve overhead, you were dating this guy and now you’re not but he’s still around? And Jeremy somehow is around too but you’re either not dating him or you are sorta? Or at the very least, you’re not sleeping with him.”

“Uh…actually…that’s not too far from it,” you admitted. “So, yeah, uh, I was dating Papyrus and he stood me up for the third date and I was super mad at him. And then he enrolled in the same dance class as Jeremy and I.”

“Sounds like a stalker. Want me to send you some bear spray?”

“No, uh, don’t do that. Not that I wouldn’t mind some bear spray but uh, he and I talked later.” And by talk, you mean he pinned you down and semi molested you, but your dad didn’t really need a reason to fly home sooner and commit manslaughter, er, monsterslaughter. Despite your dad only being slightly taller than your mom and you, he would give the seven foot tall skeleton a run for his money. 

“It clear up anything?” 

“Well, kinda. I think I’m the first person he’s ever dated and he got some advice from some dumb book about how to make me wait or something.” 

“Oh, was he trying the play hard to get strategy?”

“Possibly.”

“I tried that with your mother when I first met her,” your father reminisced, “during our first date, I told her that if she didn’t hear from me right away, it’s because I had other women I was dating as well and was super busy.” You smirked, already knowing the end of this story even as your father continued as if it was the first time you ever heard of it. “You know what she said to me?”

“What did she say to you?” You played along.

“She said that’s fine, that she had other men so she wouldn’t wait up for me. You know what I did?”

“No, what did you do?” You asked, already knowing what he did. 

“I chased her and got her and haven’t let go. And now she’s stuck with me.” 

“Way to go, dad.” 

“I know! Aren’t you proud of me?”

“Sure am,” you answered genuinely. 

Your dad laughed and yawned on the other end. “So, this fella that you were dating, you guys going to date again?” 

“No, uh, we decided to become friends again and now he’s dating someone else in the class and I said I’d be supportive but, it’s just weird you know.” 

“I’d imagine so. Did you end up sleeping with him?”

“No, didn’t get that far.”

“Well, if you guys decide to get back together, make sure he gets tested.”

“Dad!”

“Sorry, your mom rubs off on me some times.” 

You laughed. “Well, I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, dad.”

“Sure thing! We’re always here to talk.”

“Love ya, I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Love you too.” 

You hung up the phone. Were your problems solved? No. But did you feel better? You smiled. Yes. Yes you did. You closed your laptop and hugged one of your couch pillows. Everything was going to be okay.

Your phone dinged and you groaned. “Oh, come on, Pap. Let me end my night on a normal note.” You glanced at it. It was a text from Kaylie. You opened it to see an image of her and the family out a restaurant. Huh, that explained why it was so quiet when you got home tonight. On the table was a platter of Mexican food including tortillas, nachos and-

“Taco Tuesday with the whole family!"

You screamed into the pillow. God dammit, Pam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone like tacos around here?
> 
> Supportive parents FTW! :D
> 
> Papyrus is going to need some help coming up with some new names. Perhaps you guys could suggest a few things? It would really help him out. ;)
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	104. Wacky Wednesday (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually posting a chapter that takes place on a Wednesday on an actual Wednesday. I get a fucking gold star for that! :D

“Lori! Did anyone tell you how popular you are?”

You eyed Cheri suspiciously. She was awfully chipper for a Wednesday morning. Maybe because it was hump day. Which was far superior than…Tuesday. “No, because I’m not.”

“Well you are this week,” Cheri cheered, “There’s another special visitor waiting for you up front. He’s really eager to see you.”

“Huh. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Why didn’t you just page back and tell me they were here?”

“I’ve had to pee for the last 3 hours.”

“Ah. Well don’t let me stop you.” Cheri gratefully darted past you as you scratched your head.

Perhaps it was Jeremy. The man had hinted wanting to come over more frequently for lunch dates. Yet, your lunch was already past and done. Honestly, you’d appreciate a phone call first, but whatever. Maybe it was Papyrus? No, Cheri would have been smiling far too much if it had been the skeleton. You walked up to the front. “Hey, who’s here to see me?”

“Hi,” a rough voice called out. You turned toward the voice and spotted a row of sharp pointy teeth and two pointy daggers.

You fucking bolted.

Your abrupt entrance back into the technician area immediately drew attention and both the doctors and the technicians paused to see what the issue was. When nothing was immediately obvious to everyone, Tim politely questioned your panic. “What the hell is going on?”

“There’s a visually impaired dog Monster out there who tried to bite me on Saturday!” You blurted out.

Tim stared at you. “…What?”

The door burst open and in charged Doggo, knives in hand. It was quiet for one moment before everyone started screaming.

Doggo yipped excitedly! “Too many people! Too many people! Where’s the human?!”

“This is how people got fucking shanked! Everyone stop moving!” You shouted, drawing attention to yourself in a way that you really didn’t want to. To your surprise, the majority of techs stop moving. The only thing moving was Tommy who took this opportunity to stretch and groom himself.

Doggo immediately locked on to the cat and he started to pant, his tongue hanging hungrily. Oops. Ideally not a good idea to have Tommy kabobbed by a semi blind Monster. You kind of liked the furry, fat studmuffin.

You raised your hand. “Hey, hey! Hey, here. I’m here. Look here.” You waved your hand, catching Doggo’s attention.

“There you are!” He barked, advancing upon you. You cringed and froze. He stopped and growled. “Are you playing a joke on me? Quit disappearing.”

“Uh, oh, right.” You continued waving your hand, feeling as if you were merely waving a giant target sign. He finally stopped in front of you and you got to see that his daggers were actually quite sharp.

You couldn’t help but tremble, eliciting a big grin from Doggo. “And yes, now I can see you perfectly.”

“Goodie,” you squeaked.

Doggo cleared his throat. “Right, so, uh. Just here to say sorry about Saturday and thanks I guess for not letting me die.”

You rocked back and forth on the balls of your feet. “You’re welcome?”

Doggo huffed. “Good.” His eyes shifted warily. “Oh. I lost a bet so I got to give this to you too.” He held out a letter. You stared at it cautiously before realizing it was indeed a normal piece of paper. You opened it and looked over its contents.

It was the word “Bark” written in flowery handwriting over and over again. You skimmed until the last line which appeared to be a question and two possible answers. Both of which were the word “bark”.

Yeah, you had no idea what this was. “I uh, what is this?” You asked.

“It’s an invitation for a date.”

The fuck? You stared at him. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

Doggo snorted. “What? No. You think all Dog Monsters write the same way?”

You quickly raised your hands. “No, no. That’s not what I meant. I didn’t mean to suggest that at all.”

“It’s from GD.”

“GD?”

“Greater Dog.”

You bit your lip. “I uh…really?” No offense, but you didn’t think the big guy was uh…interested in you like that. You didn't even think the Monster was capable of complex feelings in general. You weren’t sure how to feel about this.

“Yeah, big guy hasn’t gone on a play date in a while. So,” he picked his teeth with the knife and eyed you cagily, “What’s it going to be?” That blade looked really sharp.

You gulped. “Which one of these is yes?” Doggo looked at the paper and shook it up and down before pointing to the left Bark. You circled that quickly and the guard snatched it back.

“Right. He’ll be by later this week. And you better show him a good time.” Doggo bristled and soon departed the way he came, leaving you thunderstruck.

Tim cleared his throat. “So when he says show him a good time…?”

“Not now, Tim.” You grumbled.

“Would you have to be doing things…doggy style?”

You buried your head into your hands. “Oh my God, I’m a furry.”

“If you yiff, remember to use protection.”

“Tim, shut the fuck up.”

“You guys could go to the park?” TJ finally managed, trying to bring a sense of normalcy to a situation that was clearly not normal.

You sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I guess.”

“Maybe he’d be interested in some Mexican food,” Pam suggested coyly.

“Mexican food?”

“Yup. You kids could get some tacos.” You threw down your clipboard.

“EVERYONE GET BACK TO WORK!”

~~~~~

“Papyrus, if you say anything about tacos, I swear to God, I’m going to scream.”

Papyrus blinked. “Ah. Hello to you too?”

You bit your lip. Shit. What a way to greet your dance partner. Like seriously, you had walked in, he had approached you and then you went off about tacos like some goddamn lunatic. “Er, yeah, uh hello,” you backpedaled.

“Did somebody say tacos?” Mettaton asked, gliding in seamlessly and linking his arm with Papyrus’. You managed to a smile as Papyrus leaned into the affectionate gesture. You hoped that the robot Monster wasn’t doing it for another photo op. The cameras in the dance class were a new addition, you noted.

Thankfully, Papyrus registered the star with pleased surprise so you relaxed. “Well, she did, but we’re not supposed to say it anymore,” he explained helpfully to his date.

Mettaton’s smile curled upwards like a cat with a bird. He released Papyrus and turned his full attention onto you. “Tacos make you scream?”

You sighed. “No it’s just-“

“I wonder what else makes you scream,” Mettaton’s sultry voice purred. Your words died in your throat and you stared up at Mettaton, who had lowered himself to stare at you right in the face. He winked suggestively at you before standing back up to his full height. “Well, have fun dears, I would love to stay and discuss cuisine, but I just must find my dance partner. He’s rather good at disappearing, isn’t he?”

“Yes, especially when there’s housework to do,” Papyrus agreed.

“Ciao, darling!” Mettaton called, pressing a quick peck to the skeleton’s cheek. You turned to go only to have him also take your hand and press a not so innocent kiss to your own hand. You made eye contact and felt your knees go weak at the smoldering look he fixed you with. “I’m sure tonight will be very interesting indeed,” he chuckled before finally releasing your now way too warm hand.

What the fuck was going on? You managed a pathetic wave after the robot as he dashed away as beautifully as he came. Papyrus cleared his throat. “He’s really fantastic,” he tried to explain.

“Oh yeah.”

“He certainly knows how to make an exit, doesn’t he?”

“That’s the understatement of the year,” you managed. Oh my God. You’re pretty sure the robot had flirted with you. And judging by how your body refused to cool down, he was morbidly successful. Still, uh, maybe you could get through this temporary hiccup and get on with the rest of the evening.

“Human, your face is awfully red. Is everything alright?”

Crap.

~~~~~

It was exactly 16 minutes into class when Mettaton screamed. And then there was a slap. You and Papyrus jumped up in alarm and joined the rest of the class in looking at the source of the distress.

Mettaton wrung his hand painfully and stared at Sans with disgust. Sans had backed away from the robot and rubbed his cheek bone painfully. Tori and Frisk walked up next to you and watched the exchange with concern. “You-you perv!” Mettaton spat.

Sans’ sockets narrowed. “what are you talking about, bud?”

Mettaton gasped. “You grabbed my butt!”

There was a collective quiet gasp. You glanced at Papyrus. He was horrified. You watched Sans in disbelief. There was no way Sans would have even touched the robot. Even if they were chained together, Sans would have found a way to still avoid even brushing against the celebrity's arm. You snuck a sideways look at Toriel. She barely contained a smirk.

“what? no.”

“I simply refuse to dance with such a lecherous monster!" Mettaton announced to Sans and the rest of the class. He struck a thoughtful pose. "Clearly, you need guidance from someone well versed in proper social decorum!”

Mettaton made an over elaborate show of searching the crowd for a model of social decorum. Was he looking to trade partners? You saw your skeletal partner shifted slightly and a stray thought struck you. Was Papyrus going to volunteer to be Mettaton's partner? Momentary panic gripped you just as Papyrus made a slight motion to volunteer. You found yourself taking his hand in yours and pulling it down before he could raise it high enough for the robot to see. He looked down at your curiously and you blanched and released his hand. He hesitated but that was long enough of a delay.

“Queen Toriel! What fortune!” If Sans had been stunned before he was absolutely petrified now. Mettaton kneeled before the Queen and the class parted the way for him. “Your majesty! I, your humble yet incredibly talented servant beseech your assistance. Would you be so kind as to take over as the dancing partner for this rogue? Perhaps under your authority, he will learn to better behave himself ”

“no no, tori, i didn't do that,” Sans pleaded with the Queen. She actually appeared to be contemplating his words before breaking out into a bemused chuckle.

“I suppose I could, provided you set a good example for Frisk in my stead.”

Mettaton held a hand to his forehead. “You are too kind! I should have known that my glorious figure would have been too much to resist!”

Sans looked embarrassed enough to die and tried to sink in even more so into his hoody. Emilio mercifully approached at this moment. “Switch partners,” He ordered.

“i swear, i didn’t-!” Sans feebly tried to argue but Mettaton waved a hand dismissively.

“Make as many excuses as you want! You won’t be touching this marvelous metallic body any further!”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Toriel soothed.

“Yes, your majesty,” he relented, blowing a kiss in Sans' direction.

Sans shuffled over without a word to Toriel who looked like she was about to burst with laughter any second now. Frisk skipped over to Mettaton and gave a not such discreet wink in the star’s direction. You heard Papyrus click his teeth disapprovingly at his brother and you had to stifle a snicker before you realized what had happened. You had tried to stop Papyrus from being Mettaton’s new dance partner- and succeeded?

Shit. Why did you do that? You’re sure he would have practically jumped at the opportunity to dance with the star, especially since they were dating. You were supposed to be supportive of their relationship, not cockblock it. “Pap, can I talk to you for a bit?” You asked as everyone attempted to resume the class.

“Absolutely.”

“Did you want to go with Mettaton?” You asked.

“What?”

“When Mettaton was asking for a volunteer? I didn't mean to stop you from dancing with him.”

Papyrus stared at you before laughing. “He was trying to find a volunteer for Sans.” He explained.

“Huh? Wait, no, he was asking about himself, right?”

“Nyeh heh heh, No, no, Mettaton was looking for a partner for Sans, not himself.” Huh, how had you not realized that? Papyrus continued, “Sans would have benefitted well from my mastery thus far in addition to my impeccable social teachings on not grabbing your dance partner’s body parts without permission.” He appraised the new couple of goat and skeleton who were talking quietly. “However, I think the Queen would do almost as well as myself.”

You laughed. “I think so.”

Papyrus stole a peek of Mettaton and Frisk who were eagerly twirling and attempting splits. “Now, if it had been Mettaton asking for a partner, well, that would be amazing.”

“Ah.”

“Not to say we aren’t good! Despite the circumstances, you and I work well together.” You cocked your head at him. Circumstances? Papyrus cleared his throat. “See, Mettaton and I can both do the splits.”

“What?”

Papyrus almost went star eyed. “Imagine the show stopper that would be if he and I were to fall into a perfectly split at the end of our routine?”

You stared at Papyrus. “Hold up, you can do the splits?”

“Yes. Want to see?”

You were sorely tempted to say yes but you shook your head. “Yes, but not here. You’re pretty long, we might hit someone.

Papyrus sighed. “But, as I was saying, the plan would be perfect…well, except for one thing.”

“What would that be?” What could go wrong with simultaneous, synchronized gymnastics and glittery outfits?

“That would partner you with Sans and although I’m sure you do have an advanced pedigree, I would worry that he would try to grab your butt in confusion before you could impart that knowledge to him,” he explained to you sadly.

Oh, that’s not the only thing he’s grabbed in the past. But you managed to keep that thought in your head. Still, you couldn’t help but break out into a stupid laugh. He chuckled too, not quite getting the full reason why this was hysterical. Hysterically messed up. “We certainly don’t want that, do we?” You smirked.

“No. Advanced theatrics can wait. I am quite fine dancing with a friend!” He smiled warmly at you. You felt your chest warm at the genuine way he said this. “Plus, I’ll always be able to see Mettaton after this class semester ends.”

His smile through you off and it took you a moment to catch the meaning behind the words. You were not going to see each other after this class ended. At least, there were no plans to. What would be the occasion to once everything was said and done?

“Are you alright?”

Your chest clenched slightly and you avoided his sockets as he attempted to scan your face. “Yeah. Right. I suppose, you’re right.”

~~~~~

A sharp whistle brought an end to the dance class and you stretched with a wince as you stepped away from Papyrus. The tension in here after Mettaton’s revealing of Sans’ behavior was rather high and even Papyrus cracked a knuckle or two by the end of the evening. You went to retrieve your second favorite hoody. You were still irked you could not find your favorite hoody and you were hoping that someone didn’t jack it from the laundry and it was just lost somewhere.

“Before any of you leave,” Your ears perked up as Emilio spoke, “I just want to let you know that I’m very grateful that you’ve chosen to remain in this class.” Wow, that was awfully nice of him to say. He continued, “Because, you’re all terrible and you really need the practice.” Ah. Yes. That sounded more like your instructor. “In fact, if we have any chance of even remotely convincing that bi-“ A sharp look from Toriel made him bite his tongue, “lovely woman who runs the schedule, you need to practice outside of class!”

“Outside of class?” Papyrus pressed.

“Yes. As in, not here. Go to each other’s houses and practice,” Emilio waved his hands.

“That’s incredibly risky,” Jeremy spoke up, “I mean, what if one of us is a rapist and attacks their partner?”

“Well, then their partner won’t show up for next class and we’ll know then.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea.”

“It’s only terrible if you’re a rapist because then we’ll know it’s you.” There was no arguing against the circle logic and Jeremy resigned himself.

Sans raised a hand. “uh, i’m actually not going to be here next Friday.”

“Surely your partner can’t be that bad,” Emilio shrugged.

Sans quickly glanced up at Toriel anxiously. “no, no, i like tori. for dancing ya know?” he added, “it’s just alphys and i gotta go out of town for some science conference thing.” You almost forgot about that.

Emilio nodded. “Fine, fine. Go do your educational stuff. Poor art always seems to be sacrificed for science,” he tittered.

“yeah, i feel real bad about that,” Sans said in such a way that made it sound like he didn't feel that bad about that.

You packed up your stuff and walked out the door with a snort. The idea of going to meet Papyrus after work just sounded absurd. There was no way either of you would be attempting that and you left confidently knowing that your afternoons and evenings would still be all yours.

~~~~~

“Has anyone seen the human?” Papyrus asked as he scouted the room for you.

“She left,” Frisk noted.

The skeleton snapped his fingers before shrugging. “Drat. I guess I’ll just have to call her tomorrow and ask when she gets off then so we can set up practice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some further communication might be needed at this point. Otherwise, there's a good possibility to have some major confusion. And we wouldn't want that. 
> 
> Side note! DATE WITH GREATER DOG! Hell yeah! Who wouldn't want to date the lovable big goofy goober? ;D ....Cue the beasteality comments. 
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
> 
> 
> [Alternate Taco Ending](https://kittylovagurl.tumblr.com/post/161643363916/this-is-a-shitpost-of-an-alternate-ending-to-gd) by kittylovagirl  
>    
>    
>  Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	105. Thursday! (aka, the Theme of Naming Chapters After Weekdays is Starting to get Redundant) (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day about Thursday on Monday because fuck it. 
> 
> There's fanart! Funny fanart/shitpost (their words not mine) from Kittylovagurl! Go check it out: [Alternate Taco Ending](https://kittylovagurl.tumblr.com/post/161643363916/this-is-a-shitpost-of-an-alternate-ending-to-gd)
> 
> Stick around for a bonus in the end notes.

“Dear, what time are you off today?” You blinked up from the binder you were writing in and looked up at the receptionist. She smiled innocently at you.

“Uh…in about 45 minutes as long as nothing urgent comes in,” you admitted, “Why, what’s up?”

“Oh, I was just thinking about going to get some coffee. If you wanted something, I would get you something.”

You smiled. “Daw, thanks Pam, but I’ll live. I only have to survive a bit longer and then I’ll go crash at home.”

“Well, it was just a thought, I mean who knows what this evening will bring in. Something important could come in.”

“Yesss, I suppose,” you acknowledged. The receptionist left you back to writing down drug usage.

“That was weird,” Tim piped up behind you.

“Yeah. But Pam is weird so I guess it’s normal. So long as she keeps her you know what out of our conversations, I won’t bludgeon her to death with this binder.”

~~~~~

Pam walked back up to the front and picked up the line on hold. “Dear, are you still there?”

The voice on the other end came out loud and clear. “Yes, thank you. The hold music was very entertaining.”

“I’m very glad to hear that. She gets off in 45 minutes.”

“Wonderful! I will be there shortly!”

~~~~~

You clocked out with a groan. You were tired but it was 4PM. An early shift led to getting out early. Which led to extra napping time. You started to exit the employee room only to run into a grinning Tim. This was rather suspicious. “Hey Tim.”

“Heyyyy you,” he greeted, his smile growing larger by the second.

This was even more suspicious. “What? Why are smiling?”

“Oh man, you’re going to be so pissed,” he chuckled.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You could feel yourself bristling now.

“Papyrus is up front.”

Your eyes widened. “What?! Wait, no why?” What was he doing here? You had unbanned him, sure, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t just walk in whenever he wanted for no reason!

“I overheard him telling Pam he’s here to pick you up for practice.”

“Practice?” Your mind went blank just for a moment before you realized. Dance practice. “Oh my God. He took Emilio seriously.”

“Who?”

“The dance instructor. He told us to start practicing outside of class. He's here for practice.”

Tim folded his arms. “Where you guys going to practice?”

You bit your lip. “Well, my place is kind of small, so his place made more sense since it was bigger-Wait a minute!” You shook your head. “Why am I even thinking about places when I’m not going to practice with Papyrus in the first place?!”

“So are you going to slip out the back?”

You threw back your head and laughed. “Ha! What type of type of tech would I be if I didn’t go out and talk in difficult situations?”

“If you're not slipping out the back, why your hand is on the door knob?”

You looked down. “Oh huh, how’d that happen?” You really didn’t remember walking toward the back door. “Well, I mean, I’m already here, it would be silly not to just leave this way.” Really, did it make sense to walk toward the front if you were already in the back?

“You do know that there’s that chain link fence separating the parking lot, right?”

“Oh, yeah I remembered that.” You didn’t remember that.

“The gate is locked too.

“I…wanted to practice my climbing technique.”

“Sure.”

“Don’t judge me.” You scowled.

“I’m not. I think it’s perfectly normal to resort to sneaking out of your workplace and climbing a rusty fence all to avoid an awkward conversation.”

You opened your mouth to protest but realized that was exactly what you were doing. “Exactly.” You quickly turned around and bolted out the door. The cool weather made you aware that you almost broke into a sweat. Right, well you couldn’t back out now.

You’d look like an idiot.

You approached the fence warily. Right. It was your standard metal chained link fence. Fences that specifically were not supposed to be climbed except by criminals and action heroes in movies. And as far as you and the law was concerned, you were neither of these things. You grabbed onto the fence and proceeded to hoist yourself upwards.

You were not good at mountain climbing. You could restrain a 90lb German Shepherd but when it came to climbing, you didn’t quite have it figured out. Nevertheless, you soon found yourself nearing the top. You swung one leg over and attempted to pull the other one only for your scrub pants to get stuck on a bent piece of wire. “Dammit,” you swore, reaching down to untangle yourself.

“The trick to climbing is to push with your legs!” An overly helpful voice boomed beside you.

You shrieked and tumbled over the edge. Thankfully, your pant’s leg snagged pretty tightly and you found yourself suspended at an awkward angle while your leg was still anchored to the other side. You opened your eyes and came to face with skull with an upside down Papyrus. Er…or were you upside down?

“What?!” You gasped as Papyrus gently helped reorient you so you were back on the edge.

“I was saying that if you push with your legs, you’ll be able to climb better,” Papyrus repeated as you detangled yourself. You sheepishly climbed down the fence and turned to face Papyrus. “You’ll be able to conserve more energy this way.”

“What are you doing here?” You asked breathlessly.

“Nyeh, well I was waiting for you in the lobby when the other human came out and told me you were practicing climbing a fence and so I decided to come out and observe.”

Tim. He was just as bad as Pam. “Traitorous bastard,” you swore.

“You have an odd way of addressing your friends,” Papyrus mumbled.

“I mean, why are you here, at the hospital?” Perhaps Tim had misheard. Maybe Papyrus was returning something to you. Or bringing you more bleach. Who knows.

“Oh! Well, we need to practice dancing!”

Damn. You scratched the back of your head awkwardly. “Yeah, um, about that…that seems kind of, well, dumb.”

“Dumb?”

You nodded. “I mean, we’re already going to class three times a week, isn’t that enough?”

“Practice makes perfect,” Papyrus reminded you.

You shrugged. “Fine. Then I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

Wow, your burning red cheeks certainly appreciated the cool weather right about now, huh? You looked away awkwardly, unsure of the answer yourself. It was one thing to interact with Papyrus in a classroom where the setting was controlled (sorta) and you were in a group. It was another to be alone, in close personal contact for hours each day. Would both of you dredge up old feelings? Did you really want to go through that again? You settled for a half truth.

“I just find it really stupid and a waste of time.”

Papyrus hesitated and you did your best to appear 100% dedicated to that answer. He nodded. “Very well. I respect your opinion although I do not agree with it. I hope we do not fail this class because we did not do the homework.”

“Homework? Papyrus, this isn’t a graded class.”

“Nyeh! I’m quite sure it is! Still…I will have to find some other way to inspire you, I suppose,” Papyrus mused.

“You do that. In the meantime, there’s a couch that’s calling my name for a long overdue nap!”

Papyrus shook his skull. “These naps still seem rather unproductive.”

“Fair enough. Well, er, see you tomorrow?”

“Of course! It is only Sans that is going to the conference.”

“Right.”

~~~~~

“You are going to do great.”

“I-I don’t know.”

“You’re going to do better than great! You’re going to be amazing!”

“Well…”

Alphys was a mix of excitement and terror at the prospect of going to a convention and meeting other professionals. And if she had to do a speech? She felt herself begin to sweat.

“You’ll be like, ‘Hi, I’m Alphys and I’m awesome and this is my invention!’ and all the other nerds are just going to be so amazed that they won’t even be able to comprehend how awesome you are!”

Alphys glowed under the praise and encouragement of her enthusiastic girlfriend before glancing at the machine under the cloth. She “I guess it will be pretty cool,” she chuckled.

Undyne hugged Alphys tightly. “And if anyone says anything otherwise, I’ll drive over there and punch them in the gut.”

“Undyne!”

“Okay, maybe I won’t. Just the shins.”

Alphys sighed happily at the exuberant supportiveness Undyne lavished upon her. “Okay, that sounds good.” She checked her watch. “Sans will be here soon.”

Undyne released Alphys. “He drives? What is he driving?”

“I don’t know. He said he was going to rent something.”

“Huh, well, as long as he doesn’t show up in a hearse or something, I guess that’ll be okay.” Alphys phone dinged and she quickly looked down.

“He-he’s here! Can you help me carry it outside?” Undyne nodded and grasped the large contraption. She followed her outside only to nearly drop it.

“Sans! What the hell?”

Sans looked from where he was leaning on the car. “hey undyne, hey alphys. you ready to go?”

Undyne placed the contraption down and pointed to the car. “That’s a hearse!”

“huh. yeah. you’re right.” Sans shrugged.

“Oh my god. We can’t-can we drive this?” Alphys asked.

“sure. it’s got enough space in the back for our gear. and a body if someone gives us a hard time,” Sans replied with a grin.

Alphys laughed nervously while Undyne’s smile returned full force. “I like how you think. Hang on, I’ll help you load up.” Sans popped the trunk and the fish monsters securely pushed the device in. She let out an appreciative whistle. “Hey, you could probably fit two bodies if you stack them on top of each other.”

Alphys chuckled. “I-I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. But, thank you.”

Sans glanced at the two women with a smile. “welp, I’ll be in the car. just hop in when you’re ready to go.”

“Oh. Will do,” Alphys agreed. She waited until Sans seated himself before looking once more at her girlfriend.

“I’m gonna miss you, okay?”

“Me too,” Alphys admitted. She hesitated and leaned forward tentatively, reptilian lips puckered. Undyne grinned and pressed her scaly ones against them with a happy growl. The scientist pulled away, looking rather pleased with herself. “I’ll text you when I get there.”

“Sounds good!”

“Oh! Will you let me know how it goes with, uh, you know?”

Undyne winked. “Sure thing. They’ll be here any minute.”

“Okay, thanks. Uh, not that I meant it in a weird way or anything, just uh, I mean I have cameras so I would have known anyway-wow, I’m really not making this sound any less weird, huh?” Alphys laughed nervously.

Undyne bared her fangs in a wide smile. “I like your weirdness. Go knock em dead, babe.” The yellow monster nodded and darted into the car before she could say more. Undyne smirked. She waved enthusiastically as the vehicle pulled out of the drive and drove down the hill. Another familiar car quickly passed them going up and pulled into her driveway. Undyne blinked. That was Papyrus. He was a bit early and he seemed slightly put out.

Undyne glanced over curiously as she watched Papyrus pull into the driveway. She walked over to him as he stepped out of the car. Alone. “Hey, Pap. Where’s your partner?”

“She did not want to come.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“She thinks it’s dumb,” Papyrus admitted, following his friend into the house.

“Well…that’s dumb that she thinks that.”

Papyrus shrugged. “I’ll have to find some way to inspire her to want to practice.”

Undyne scratched a gill contemplatively before breaking into a huge grin. “I’ve got something that might work. C’mon.” Papyrus cocked his head and followed his friend deeper into the house as she continued to speak. “It’s this training tool Alphys and I use every now and then. I think she’s got it stashed in her dresser.”

There was a loud commotion from outside. Papyrus glanced out. "What was that?"

Undyne peeked. "Looks like Doggo just showed up." She peered closer. "Geez, the Dogs are getting really excited about it. It's not like they haven't seen him before." She huffed before looking down. "Ah, here it is! Here." She handed it to Papyrus before heading back out. "Go ahead and play around with this while I go find out what's up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus has Determination...and a new tool. Any ideas what it could be? 
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter
> 
>   
>   
>   
> [Being a Professional!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/162376300449/another-mini-comic-from-smallpersiankittens) by peanutbutter-n-meli  
> And as always, give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!
> 
> ~~~~~~~BONUS~~~~~~~
> 
> Papyrus walked out towards the rest of the guards. They were animatedly talking with Undyne but at seeing him, immediately hushed. If he had eyebrows, he would have raised one of them. "Eh, am I interrupting something?" 
> 
> Greater Dog opened his mouth only to get tackled by Dogamy and Dogaressa. "No!" Dogamy gasped, "everything's fine."
> 
> "Just wonderful!" Dogaressa agreed. 
> 
> Papyrus gave a hard look before breaking into a smile. "Well! If you say so! It just got really quiet." He eyed Greater Dog who looked like he was about to bark. "Is everything alright with him? He seems..uh...slobbier than usual?" 
> 
> "Well, you see, uh..."
> 
> "He's got a uh, er..."
> 
> "FLEAS!" Doggo yelled, startling everyone. They looked at him in astonishment. He cleared his throat. "He's got fleas."
> 
> "Fleas?" 
> 
> "Yes, very contagious fleas. In fact, it might not be safe for you to be here!" 
> 
> The skeleton blinked. "But I don't have fur."
> 
> Undyne grumbled something and face palmed as the dogs panicked briefly. Dogamy finally spoke, "Well, it starts with the fur, but they go for the skin and then the bone! You should probably get out of here while you can!" 
> 
> Papyrus gasped. "I can't leave you all to suffer like this! What type of comrade would I be? There surely must be a cure?" 
> 
> "There's no cure for idiocy," Undyne mumbled, glaring at the Dogs who sweated. 
> 
> "Yes! Yes!" Dogaressa agreed. "There's a cure! Please, go find out what it is and you will have saved us all!" 
> 
> The skeleton's chest swelled with pride. "Very well! I shall run home and immediately come back when I have the answer." 
> 
> "Oh, don't rush. He probably has a few weeks before he succumbs," Doggo interjected. 
> 
> "Well, I'll find the cure and bring it for next training session then. Good bye my friends!" Papyrus saluted and ran off, carrying Undyne's gift. 
> 
> Undyne waved him off before glowering at the Dogs. "Alright, which one of you punks thought it would be a great idea to have GD ask out the human?"
> 
> "He thought of it himself!" 
> 
> "Honestly!" 
> 
> "Bark! Bark! Bark!" 
> 
> "I don't care how great of a time you're going to show her, just-just!" Undyne searched desperately for words. 
> 
> Dogamy peeked at Papyrus leaving. "Was Papyrus holding what I think he was holding?" 
> 
> "TRAINING. NOW!"


	106. Freaky Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Father's Day people! 
> 
> In celebration of daddies of all types, we have a new, x-long chapter today. And it should be the last one named after a weekday for a while. 
> 
> Are you ready for a date with Greater Dog? Are you? Are you the good human whose ready for their date? That's right, you are! Yes you are! What a good human!!!
> 
> Dating Start!

You stared at the text messages you had typed out but not sent. This was not the dumbest text you had sent. Especially sober. You had sent far worse intoxicated. A few times to your parents. Which was even worse when your mom was intoxicated and your conversations would degenerate into a bunch of purple squashes and bicycles. But still, were you seriously going to ask Papyrus via text if he could bring the condom to class tonight? 

Then again, Jeremy had honestly looked rather disturbed by the whole thing. You sighed and hit the send button before stripping off your scrub top. You had just managed to stuff that in your duffle bag when your phone buzzed with a response. You picked up the phone and checked. 

“only rubber i’ve got here are the bands holding together alphy’s particle accelerator.”

Shit. Wrong skeleton. “Sorry. My bad. Meant to send text to someone else.” 

“nice.”

You retyped the message and sent it to Papyrus: “Hey, can I get that condom back from you tonight?” You were clearly exhausted to think this should be a text message. The only benefit to an early shift was getting off early. Still, you were going to have to get some form of caffeine in you if you were going to make it to dance practice tonight. 

Your phone buzzed and you switched it off silent. Correct skeleton. “I’m sorry, I don’t have it anymore. Was it a personal gift? I can try to replace it if you like.” 

You couldn’t help but smile at the offer to replace it. “No, don’t worry about it. As long as you made good use of it. ;)”

You stepped out of the hospital, blinking at the daylight like some sheltered lab rat seeing the sun for the first time. Your phone dinged and you picked it up. “I did, thank you!”

“I’m sure you did,” you mumbled. You went to type a response before you realized you were standing in the shade of a tree. There were no trees in this parking lot. You looked up to see Greater Dog standing eagerly outside your car. At the sight of you, he barked and yipped excitedly, bounding toward you. Metal clashed and clanged as he knocked your surprised ass down. 

“Ah! Holy crap! Greater Dog! What are you doing here?” You gasped, trying to avoid the flecks of slobber that were impossible to dodge. You finally managed to catch sight of a piece of paper taped to his plated chest and yanked it off as he nuzzled your hand.

“Dear date. I hope you are having a great day! And if you’re not, it will be great. As great as Greater Dog. Here are some things GD likes to do: play fetch, receive pets, nap after pets and fetch. He does not like to be ignored so don’t ignore him otherwise he will try to sit on your lap. Dogamy and Dogaressa should be calling you later today to pick him up. I’ll see you at dance practice tonight. -Frisk”

God bless that child. You pushed the Monster off of you who rolled over on his back for belly rubs. You rubbed the metal armor. GD panted happily. Goddamn this was weird. “Right, uh, so, where should we go first-no no no!!” Greater Dog had attempted to thrust himself through the open window of your car. You could hear your poor car groan with the weight and force. You quickly pulled out the dog Monster before he had an opportunity to cause any further damage. 

You opened the back of your car and proceeded to put all the seats down, having to stick out a foot to push Greater Dog from climbing inside. “Stay there, wait wait! Okay, now climb in!” GD launched himself in, barely clearing the back door. You shut it carefully, not wanting to accidentally shut a door on a tail before entering the driver’s seat yourself. The passenger seatbelt alarm went off as Greater Dog placed part of his body weight in the passenger side. You tried to click the seatbelt over the large canine and managed to secure an arm. “Huh, guess that will have to do.” You eyed your date curiously. “So where do you want to go?” 

Greater Dog pressed his nose against your side mirror and begin to lick it. This was going about as well as you expected it to. “Want to go to the pet store?” You asked. His tail wagged eagerly at the suggestion. “Awesome! Want to get groomed? They’ll do your anal glands too if you like?” You teased. The canine’s tail dropped immediately and he whined piteously. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. C’mon. Let’s have our…date?” 

~~~~~~

The first thing you realized upon entering the store was how nice and orderly everything looked for a pet store. The second thing you realized was that Greater Dog practically sprinted down the aisle, chasing a fallen ball toy. “Fuck! Fuck! Wait!” You swore, running after him. He snatched the tennis ball, only to drop it as he spotted a squeaky t-rex toy. You finally caught up to him and grabbed his armored arm. “Woah woah! Wait!” He paused, vibrating intensely. You sucked in some much needed oxygen. “Right, uh, you need to wait for me because what if there is a bad dog around here?” Greater Dog grinned and pointed to his spear. “Oh. Right. You have a spear. That’s probably not allowed in this store,” you realized, taking a surreptitious glance at your surroundings. Thankfully no employees close enough for that little tidbit of knowledge. You should probably not draw attention to it your-oh god dammit! 

Greater Dog had spotted the treat counter and practically dragged you over there, leaving your thoughts scrambling to catch up with the rest of your body. He salivated happily at the snack buffet in front of him and you chuckled. Christ, definitely not the worst date so far. He tapped you, breaking you out of your thoughts. He held up a doggy treat for you. You paled. “Oh, no, I’m good, thanks.” He nudged it closer to you with an insistent yip. “Oh gee, yeah you’re being a real gentlem-dog about this huh?” You coughed. He nodded with a grin and watched you eagerly. 

You picked up the treat. It was in the shape of a mini t bone steak. Huh. Super cute. Maybe it wouldn’t taste like dog food. You took a bite and immediately resisted the urge to gag. Oh my god. It tasted like dog food. Holy shit, this was terrible. You hadn’t had this bad of cooking since, well, uh, well that was besides the point! You realized the dog Monster had his eyes focused on you so you made a yummy noise and swallowed. “Mmm, yeah. That was great. Delicious,” you lied, like a liar, giving a thumbs up. Greater Dog looked pleased and fetched you another snack. This one was shaped like a squirrel. 

“Oh, no, uh, I already ate lunch so uh…” Greater Dog’s countenance fell at your words and he began to whine. Doggo’s threat echoed in your mind and you swore inwardly. “Wait, wait, actually I have some room in my stomach!” You popped the squirrel treat into your mouth. You pinched your thumb to keep from retching. 

Greater Dog appeared ecstatic and began to peruse for himself. You tried to swallow as much saliva as you could to filter out the taste of dog snack. Holy hell, those things tasted terrible. Why did something look like a steak if it didn’t taste like a steak? This was false advertising. Yet, despite nearly vomiting twice in the last 30 seconds, this date was still going better than about 30% of the ones you had in the past. So perhaps a victory so far. 

“Can you stay here and choose what you want while I look around?” You asked. Greater Dog nodded and continued to peruse the brightly colorful, not very delicious rows of doggy snacks. You escaped a few lanes over so you could outwardly and viscerally retch out of his earshot. By the time you finished, you felt a lot better. Physically. Not mentally, but physically you were okay. 

You spotted the dog collars and examined the selection. Maybe you could get one to fit Greater Dog. It would be a hell of a lot easier to hang on to your date if he had one on. You quickly perused the selection of collars, keeping an ear out to make sure your date didn't get into too much trouble.

No, not the pink fluffy one. And the choke chain one definitely not. Ooh this one had feathers...probably a terrible idea. Your hands alighted on a black one with cute little bone studs. The words bad to the Bone decorated the inside and you snorted at the pun. There was something charming about cheesy corporate jokes. You pulled it off with a matching metal leash which appeared rather contradictory compared to the soft collar. Huh. No funny wordplay on the leash, bummer. Now to find GD and see if it would fit. 

You turned around and ran smack into an employee. “Excuse me, are you with the large canine Monster?”

“Yes…?”

The man looked incredibly uncomfortable. “Uh, so, you may want to collect him. He’s already racked up about $46 worth of eaten snacks.” He glanced over. “Uh, make that $48.50.”

“Shit. Seriously?”

“Yeah why don’t I go take your leash and collar for your other dog up front and you go wrangle your pup and we can charge you then?”

“My other dog?

“Well this one would be too small for your…little guy.”

“Oh, no, I don’t have, I mean I wasn’t-“

Crunch!

“Now it’s $53.40.”

“Just take it. I’ll be right up.”

~~~~~

Ten minutes and minus seventy-four dollars later, you exited the pet store, dragging a full Greater Dog behind you. You opened the door and let him in. You caught a glance at the clock on the dash. Shit, you had less than 2 hours before dance. Maybe you could sneak in a shot of espresso or something strong before then.

“BARK BARK BARK BARK!” Greater Dog suddenly barked at full volume, giving you a minor heart attack.

“What? What? What?” You shrieked. You whirled around in your car and spotted the excitement. It was a dog park. Oh! A dog park. Perfect. A chance to sit down and let the big guy run and tire himself out. You parked and could barely fast enough before Greater Dog launched himself out, stripping himself of his armor by the front gate. 

Your phone rang as you caught up to him where he bounced impatiently at the entrance. It was a number you didn’t recognize. You picked up. “Hello?”

“Hello! It’s Dogamy!”

“And don't forget me, Dogaressa!” 

“Of course, snookums! It’s us! We’re on our way to pick GD up!”

You whispered a silent thank you. “Oh good. good. We’re at the dog park.” 

“Perfect. Did he have fun?” 

“Yeah, he did.”

“Good. We should be there about 5.”

It was 5 now. Sigh. “I’ll see you guys soon.” 

“Bye!” You disconnected the phone and quickly let Greater Dog in before he exploded with excitement. He sped in like a bullet train while you languidly trailed after him. You spotted an empty bench with your name on it. You almost made it there when a tennis ball rolled in front of you. You stared at and realized Greater Dog watched you in anticipation. You tossed it and tried to walk away only for him appear right in front of you once more. 

This was going to be a problem. After the 11th throw in the first 2 minutes, your phone mercifully rang and you answered it between tosses. “Hello?” 

“Hey there, gorgeous!” 

“Jeremy?” 

“Who else?” 

“I lost your condom,” you admitted.

“What?”

Hello word filter. Were you prepared to do your job now? “I mean, do you have coffee?”

“That’s a hell of a jump. Coffee?” 

“Caffeine,” you clarified, your mind elsewhere, “I will take any form of caffeine.”

“Uh, well, I can get some.” 

“I seriously would fuck someone for an espresso,” you lamented, tossing the damn ball even further this time. 

“Like a blow job?”

“Goddammit, Jeremy, are you calling me a whore?” 

“You started this conversation with condoms-“

“Shit!” You realized when Greater Dog ignored the tennis ball. 

“What?”

“No! No! No! Wait, no!” You hung up the phone to blast after Greater Dog as he charged another normal dog. He was barking quite loudly. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! You could not have him fighting a real dog! GD was within only a few feet of his new, small play buddy when he came to a dead stop. He gave an excited yip, catching the dog’s attention before he flopped to the ground, exposing his tummy. 

You stopped sprinting as the other dog approached him and sniffed him, Greater Dog wriggled impatiently and you started to relax. Until the small dog lunged for him and latched his teeth on his throat. “HOLY SHIT!” You shrieked, stumbling forward. Well you didn’t see THAT coming, did you? You tripped, skinning your shins. You let out a sharp gasp of pain and looked up fearfully, expecting to see GD crying out, having been caught off guard in an act of friendship.

Instead, the small dog had hopped off and was dashing away. GD got to his feet, completely uninjured and charged after the small wiener dog. Huh. Guess they were just playing. Still nearly made you piss your pants though. You collapsed into a plastic chair nearby and watched the two dogs play. That wiener dog looked so familiar. Especially the way it waddled as it ran. It was practically more belly than legs.

Hold up. When had you used that description before? “Lenny?” You called out. The dachshund stopped chasing GD and trotted over to you. You forced yourself upwards as she fell into the belly rubbing position. You belly rubbed decisively, prompting a whine from GD. You belly rubbed him as well. 

“Well, sunuvabitch! Look at whosa here!” You looked up to see Giuseppe huffing over, clearly as out of breath as you were. 

“Oh hi there!” You greeted. “I didn’t know you guys came here…or exercised,” you admitted.

“We didn’t until both of us couldn’t get off the bed this last week. So mi moglie sayin we’s both gotta lose the weight.” You nodded as he appraised GD who got up and began to allow Lenny to smell his butt. “Sayyy, looks like you found yourself a boyfriend there, heh, lenny?” He leaned down and wagged a finger at GD. “Now, yousa treat my bambina right otherwise I ah gonna neuter you.”

GD barked happily and you facepalmed. Thankfully the pups soon took off once more, leaving you alone with the Italian. “Funny lookin’ dog yous got there.”

“He’s not my dog. He’s my date,” you admitted tiredly. 

Giuseppe shot you an odd glance before shrugged. “Isa free country but I didn’t know it was thata free.” 

“No, er, he’s actually a Monster. I know he looks like a regular dog. But uh, see that mecha suit back there?” You asked, pointing toward the large suit of armor your date had ditched at the beginning of the park date.

“Yeah.” 

“That’s his. He controls that.” 

“Is not a statue?” 

“No.”

“Wow,” he whistled.

“Yeah.”

“So-a, speaking of the dates,” Giuseppe guffawed, slapping you on the back hard enough to almost knock the air out of you, “Papi get a chance to talk to ya?”

“Papi?” You blinked. “You mean Papyrus?”

“Yeah, the skinny fella.” Harder to get skinnier than a skeleton but you rolled with it. 

“About what?” 

“About him standing yous up. You guys make up yet?”

“Oh yeah. Kinda. I mean, well, we made up.”

“That-a boy. I knew he wasa determined enough.”

“He’s dating Mettaton,” you clarified. 

“Ah! I thinka I know thata guy. He make-a the show about the death questions, yeah yah. The kidsuh love him.” Giuseppe whistled. “Huh, really surprising.”

“How so?” 

“He’a the one who came into my restaurant after uh-everything. Wanted to see my videos.” 

“Videos?”

“The videos. You know. The videos off the wall.”

“Wall videos?”

“You know, the camera wall videos!”

“Your surveillance tapes.” 

“Yeah!” 

You cocked your head at him. “He did? Why?” 

“Thinks he was-a set up uh.”

You felt yourself stiffen. “A…set up?” 

“He-a thoughta your friend-o had something to do with everything. Ya know, since Papi loaned him the uh date book-a.”

You remembered that. Jeremy had given it back to you to return to Papyrus on your second date. You hadn’t had a chance to look at its contents at that time. Papyrus thought Jeremy had tampered with the book? The same date book he didn’t have anymore. 

“That’s uh, really interesting,” you realized. This was definitely something you needed to think about. 

“Lenny! You a stoppa that aright now!” You looked up to see Lenny attempting to dominate GD.

You could think about it later. “Shit. Shit! GD, dude! Don’t just take it! Christ!” Greater Dog reveled in the attention, allowing Lenny to hump him. This day could not get any worse. 

“GD!” 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” 

You froze and turned around to see Dogamy and Dogaressa standing there, shocked. You followed their line and realized they were also staring at Greater Dog getting it on with Lenny. 

“Oh my God, I’m so dead,” you recognized. 

Hold up, weren’t they supposed to show up around 5? You glanced at your phone. It was 5:40. “Shit! I gotta go!” Practice was starting in less than 20! Fuck! There was no way you were going to be late after you started texting and calling people about condoms. You hustled past the Dog couple with a “This was fun! Call me! Bye!” before hopping in your car and gunning the ignition like a bat out of hell. 

You barely made it into the classroom before Jeremy approached you with coffee and chocolate. You stared at him. He looked absolutely panicked. “I-I didn’t know what was going on or if you were on your period or you were just mad but I got you this coffee and some chocolate and I can run out and get you a milkshake if you like!” He quickly blabbered to you. 

You blinked tiredly. “Wha? Period? No. I’m just, really, really tired. I went on a date with Greater Dog and I must have run like 40 miles.” You realized it was coffee. “Dat coffee?” 

He glanced at the beverage. “Yes. Hold up, did you say you went out with a dog?”

“Gimmee.” He gave you the coffee and you chugged it. Only after a 7 second gulp with no air did you dare to break away, already feeling that caffeine strike your blood cells. “MMMMM Oh my Goddddd. Thank you,” you groaned like an ogre.

“You’re welcome?" Jeremy accepted your gratitude confusedly. He waited for you to say something else but after a few seconds of just watching you stare at a wall, he cleared his throat, "So, uh about this dog?” 

“I had to do it otherwise I’d probably get shanked. But don’t worry, I found him a new furry girlfriend so I shouldn’t have to go out again.” You paused. "Oh my God. I hope Lenny is spayed. GD is too young to be a dad...I think." Shit, that was just another thing you would have to deal with. 

Jeremy pursed his lips, trying to think how to respond to all of this information he clearly did not ask for. “Speaking of going out…" He segwayed, "I know how I'm going to make it up to you.”

“Huh?”

“For last Saturday,” he reminded you.

Oh yeah, you were supposed to go on a make up date. You had pretty much forgotten that was a thing you promised. “This weekend?” He nodded. Jeremy positively glowed with excitement and you couldn't help but find it slightly contagious. “What are we going to do?”

“Apple cider tasting.” You blinked. Jeremy gestured excitedly. “Listen, what better way to kick off the season then with apple cider?”

“That...actually sounds awesome," you admitted. "Alcoholic?”

“No, I figure you and I could use a break from that,” he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah me too.” You and alcohol needed a break. Give you both a chance to meet other people and make your own bad decisions without each other. It was better this way. 

“Do you work tomorrow?” He asked, "We could go tomorrow if you want?"

“Nope! What time were you thinking?”

“How about 2pm? We could go shopping for some clothes too.”

“Fuck you, no.”

“Kidding! I'm kidding about the shopping. But 2 still good?”

“Sure,” you agreed, “let me just grab my phone to write the info down. I've been rather scatterbrained lately.” Jeremy nodded and you walked over to your duffel. You stuck in your right hand to fish out your phone and your left hand went to brush some hair out of your eye.

Click! 

You stopped searching immediately as you felt some sudden tension on your left wrist. Had you snagged it on something...like air?

You looked at your wrist. Oh. You were cuffed. Wait! You were cuffed?!?! You followed the other half of the fluorescent handcuffs just in time to watch Papyrus snap the other part over his right wrist. He noticed you observing him and he gave a friendly wave with his non bound hand. “I see you are admiring our new training tool. I have no doubt that with this, we will practice twice as hard...human?”

You freaked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Date with Greater Dog is a success!! What good humans we are! :D
> 
> As far as I know, I'm the only person to actually write a Greater Dog/Reader thing. Goddamn. Not sure how to feel about this. Pride? Yah, let's go with pride.
> 
> And, on that end's note: Congrats to Tyler for guessing correctly, that sick twisted fuck (just kidding, good job on your list!) Let's hope Papyrus has a key. (Or not)
> 
> And as always, give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	107. Key? What Key?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my state is going through a heat wave right now (110F/44C). Thankfully you mother fuckers are supportive as hell. To preserve my sanity and to say thanks, here's a fun, albeit a bit short chapter to get us through the week.

Toriel practically dragged an absolutely bewildered Papyrus and with him, you, into the empty classroom next door. Frisk and Mettaton followed hesitantly, curious to see that the goat monster had made the first move.

She released him and turned on you both. “What is the meaning of this?” She demanded, pointing to the handcuffs.

Papyrus cleared his throat nervously, clearly not having expected this type of response. “Well, the human does not wish to practice outside of class.”

“And so you handcuffed me?!” You gasped. That was his reason?!

“To encourage you to take this class seriously!” He argued.

You swore at him. “You're fucking crazy!”

The profanity activated Toriel's mom mode and she shot you a disappointed look before turning to Mettaton. “Please wait with Frisk outside.”

“Oooooohhhhhhhh,” Mettaton squealed as Frisk practically had to drag the mechanical Monster outside.

“Papyrus, call me if you need back up,” Frisk offered as he shut the door after them. He looked like he was about to ask but a glance at Toriel made him close his mouth. 

Papyrus and you nervously watched the Queen who rubbed her forehead. “I don't know what the hell you were thinking, Papyrus,” Toriel finally muttered.

“Thank you!” You exclaimed.

“Papyrus, where's the key?” The Queen asked.

He cocked his skull at her. “Key?”

Your jaw dropped. “Oh my god, no, no, no. This has got to be a dream or something,” you gasped. You tugged at your hand desperately but you couldn't slip it through the cuff. You shot him daggers. “I hope you're getting off on this.”

“Lori!”

Papyrus coughed. “I’m not getting off anywhere. At least not without you for the time being!”

“Papyrus, where did you get these handcuffs?” Toriel asked patiently.

Papyrus scratched his head. “Undyne loaned them to me.”

“Undyne.” Toriel’s face changed slightly to one of bemusement and knowing. “And she did not give you a key?”

How could he be this dense about the situation? “Eh, no. But really, I do not understand why there is such a fuss-ah!” Papyrus’ statement ended with a squeak as you reached under his chest armor and pulled out his phone. A task you were actually quite capable of doing since he could back up no more than 6 inches from you.

“Do you understand now?” You asked with a smile. Papyrus nodded furiously, an orange hue coating his cheeks as he realized the depth of his actions. "Good."

“Call Undyne.”

Papyrus immediately dialed and brought the phone to the side of his skull. Well, he tried. He attempted to bring the phone and you yelped as your arm was yanked up with his. He looked at you apologetically and brought the phone down. He brought his other hand to your wrist and gently caressed your wrist. You slapped it away.

“I’m fine,” you grumbled, “put it on speaker phone.”

The phone connected and Undyne's voice crackled over the phone. “Hey Pap!!! How did it go with the human?”

“Well…”

“Hello, Captain," Toriel greeted.

There was a definite pause in Undyne's demeanor. “Uh. Queen Toriel?” Undyne ventured.

“Toriel is fine,” the queen offered.

“Ah, oh, sure...Toriel.”

“Papyrus says you gave him some handcuffs to use with the human for dance purposes,” Toriel began.

“Yup! Has it working out for them?”

Papyrus coughed nervously. “Well, we need to open the training device. It has caused some unforeseen inconvenience-”

“Unforseen my butt,” you scowled.

“And we need to unlock it. Would you be able to drop off the key tonight?”

Undyne didn't answer right away. “Uhh... there's no key.”

“Excuse me?” You asked. 

Undyne laughed awkwardly. “Uh, you see, Alphys made those cuffs for...reasons. And they're magic based. So you can only open them two ways.”

There was silence. You coughed. “What are the two ways?”

“Are there any kids around?”

Papyrus checked. “Mettaton is outside still.”

“Okay, uh cool. Is Toriel still there?”

Toriel rubbed her forehead. “Yes.”

“Um. Would you mind not firing me after this?”

Toriel smirked. “Your occupation is safe.” She handed it to you and Papyrus leaned down to listen better.

“So there's two ways to unlock the cuffs. The first way is with an orfsnkms”. She mumbled the last part so incoherently neither of you understood her.

“A what?”

“Odnshsnsn,” Undyne mumbled a little louder. 

“Would you like to spell it out?”

“An orgasm,” she shouted. You nearly dropped the phone in shock.

“What?!” You and Papyrus simultaneously squealed. You both sounded pretty horrified. This seriously could not get any worse.

“You need two.” 

You were wrong. You gasped, “What do you mean we need two?”

“Well the cuffs respond to heat and energy output. And since you have one attached to each of your arms. You're both going to have to orgasm for your cuff to unlock,” Undyne explained. 

Papyrus looked incredibly uncomfortable. “I don't even-how do we-?”

“Is there another way?” You asked, your heart starting to beat fast. You were doing your best not to think about it.

“Yeah. You need to say the safe word.” You colored even darker. “Uh Alphys’ safe word to be precise.”

“What is a safe word?” Papyrus asked.

“It's a word couples can use to say whether or not they’re okay with certain romantic actions.” 

“Why don't they just say stop?”

“Sometimes they are playing a game where one partner uses “stop” and “no” but they actually don't want to stop-” Toriel began to explain. 

“What's the word?!” You butted in, whatever image of you had of Toriel being a quiet, simple mother quickly disintegrating in front of you.

“Uh. I don't know. She's never used it.”

“...Really?” You asked. 

“Yeah uh, I'll try to reach her but she may not want to say it over the phone.”

“When does she come back?” Toriel inquired.

“Maybe Sunday?”

“Maybe?!” You gasped.

“I don't know. Stop yelling at me!”

“Do the orgasms have to happen simultaneously?” Toriel asked calmly.

You gazed incredulously at the Queen of Monsters.

“No actually,” Undyne admitted.

“And can they be self inflicted?” Papyrus looked equally stunned by the tranquility with which the Queen spoke.

“Yeah. They can.”

“Alright. Well, you keep trying to reach Alphys, we will figure things out.”

“Uh okay. You're taking this very well.”

“Somebody has to,” she admitted casting a glance toward you and Papyrus. The two of you were rather unnerved at this point. The phone call ended and Toriel began to leave.

“Wait, wait, that's it?” You called after her.

“You're both adults,” Toriel reminded you, “I'm sure you can work out a solution.” She opened the door and paused. “Join us when you reach a compromise.” She closed the door and left you both alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Let me know if you cringed or gasped. Because I did. :3 commence the awkwardness. 
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	108. Dancing with Restrictions (Artwork)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heat wave is starting to break and therefore I shall live!! :D
> 
> Thank you for your patience. Here is a not painful, totally normal chapter. Where someone is gonna get kisssedddd!!! :D

Papyrus and you looked at each other and reddened. He cleared his nonexistent throat. “Human, I assure you, had I known the circumstances of this particular training tool, I would have utilized some other form encouragement device. Like motivational music and montages of people punching meat.”

You sighed. “It’s alright.”

“Really?” He asked hopefully.

“Well, no, technically, I’m sure this is considered coercion or something.” He chuckled awkwardly. You shook your head. “But you didn’t mean for THIS to happen.”

“No, I did not.”

You eyed him curiously. “What was your game plan though about all of this?” You asked. “Like, slap on the cuffs and then what?”

He tapped his chin. “The plan had been to show you the effectiveness of the device and then take it off. I hadn’t anticipated you, well..”

“Screaming?” You prompted.

“Yes. That. I don’t think your…friend is going to be happy about this.” He winced. “Actually, I know he’s not.”

You nodded. “Yeah, he was using a lot of profanity before Toriel pulled us out.” You don’t think you had ever seen him that outraged since, well, high school. “What about yours?”

“You mean Mettaton?”

“Yes.”

“If anything, I think we’ve given him a premise for a new show,” he considered.

You’re not sure but you swore you could hear a modulated voice scream “I love it!” but it might have just been your imagination. You watched the door for any sign of Toriel but the Queen had not return. Damn. She did really want you guys to figure out something.

“I suppose we’ll have to wait for Undyne to call us back,” Papyrus admitted, “In the meantime, I suppose we should return to class.”

You shook your hand, feeling the chain restrict your basic moment. “There’s no way we can dance like this,” you began.

“Well, technically…” He rattled his bound wrist and gestured to yours.

“Huh.” Your left to his right. You carefully joined hands. “You’re right. I mean, we probably couldn’t do any of the more difficult moves.” You attempted a box step and Papyrus followed your steps helpfully.

He nodded. “I could spin you, possibly. But we would have to be pretty precise on our footwork, otherwise-” His point became evident as you took a misstep and winced as the handcuff chain became taut. He eyed you carefully. “Human?”

You groaned. “Ughhhhh. I don’t know if we can do this.”

“Well, of course we can,” He scoffed, flashing you a supportive smile under the bravado. He pulled you against him, reorientating you once more and resumed the box step, this time you following. “However, I do think I need to share something with you. With you being attached to me and all, it is only fitting that I impart some of my dancing wisdom to you.” You nodded, not quite sure where he was going to go with this. “Right! So start by sticking out your chest.”

You glanced down at your chest and puffed up. “Like this?”

“A bit more – perfect! Do you feel your confidence growing by the second? If not, this would be the perfect opportunity to let loose your battle cry!”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at your overdramatic pose. “I don’t have a battle cry.”

“It can be anything.”

“Anything?” He nodded enthusiastically. “Okay, give me some time to think of something.” You looked up at him coyly. “So what about me?”

“Hmm?”

“Should I impart some of my knowledge with you?”

“Absolutely!”

“Right, uh….” Crap. What did you want to tell him?

“Assertive?”

“Huh?” You blinked. He glanced down at your feet.

“You recommend I be more assertive?” You had pushed into him unknowingly.

“Oh, sure. But, uh, don’t go nuts.”

“I assure you, I will not retrieve any legumes during this exchange.”

You stifled a smirk. You knew just what your battle cry should be. “Got it.”

“Got what?”

“My battle cry. Wanna hear it?”

“Of course.”

You cleared your throat and tossed your head back. “Nyeh heh heh!”

Papyrus stared at you in astonishment for a moment before he broke into the widest smile you had ever seen. “Fantastic! Superb!”

You felt yourself start to giggle. “Really? It wasn’t too bad?”

“Mimicry is the highest form of flattery! You have my stamp of approval!” He gestured to your face. “Especially if you keep smiling like that!” Your cheeks were wrinkled with genuine laughter, something you hadn’t really participated in quite a while.

“Alright! Let’s do it!”

~~~~~

There was an immediate shift in the atmosphere the moment you both stepped in. And it wasn’t due to the fact that you both tried to go through the door at the same time and got stuck. At least, it wasn’t completely due to that. Everyone had already started dancing, save for Toriel who amusedly watched Mettaton and Frisk. You settled for standing next to Papyrus as Emilio walked over to you.

“You’re both late.”

“We were handcuffed together,” you pointed out.

“Does it look like I care?”

Papyrus nodded. “Yes. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here telling us we were late.” You snorted and quickly stifled another chuckle. You could feel Emilio’s disapproving gaze on you for a few moments before he finally rolled his eyes and walked away, pointing to an empty spot.

You started to walk after Papyrus when you swore you could feel another pair of eyes on you. You glanced around but could not find the source. You shivered.

“Human? Everything alright?”

You looked up at Papyrus who had doubled back (it wasn’t that far of a distance) to where you stood. You shook your head slowly. “No, well, it’s just a weird feeling. Like I’m being watched or something.”

“Well, you’re not wrong, I am watching you.”

“Not you…someone else – nah, forget it. I’m going crazy.” You shrugged the hunch off and allowed Papyrus to take your bound hand with his own and escort you to your spot. You hardly noticed that extra pressure he applied to your arm as he pulled you protectively closer.

~~~~~

It was rough in the beginning, to be honest. You hesitated more than once which led to you accidentally getting jerked forward. And the times Papyrus had anticipated you hesitating, you decided at the last moment to go through with a step and you knocked into him. You were starting to feel like an idiot and even Mettaton shot you a pity glance as Frisk spun him in circles.

Bless your partner, he still managed to keep a smile on his skull, although you weren’t sure if it was just because was he was a skeleton. You were just starting to get comfortable enough when you accidentally backed into another couple. Unfortunately that other couple included Jeremy. Who looked less than pleased that you had ran into him. And decided that your partner was to blame.

Jeremy scowled at Papyrus. “Hey!”

“Oops, looks like we had a minor accident,” your partner realized.

“We? YOU’RE the one swinging her around like a battering ram,” Jeremy started to argue.

The tone caught Papyrus off guard. “Excuse me?”

This was not helping. You stepped up as much as you could while still handcuffed. “Jeremy, no, I backed into you,” you tried to explain.

Your friend regarded you sympathetically. “Don’t feel you have to try to be nice about this since you’re stuck with this moron.”

You gasped. “Jeremy!”

“Can we go back to dancing?” Jeremy’s partner asked hopefully.

“And if I was using her as a battering ram, she’s not quite heavy enough to be effective as a siege weapon,” Papyrus pointed out.

Not quite heavy enough? You gawked at your partner. “Hold up, what did you just say about me?”

“Are you saying she’s fat?” Jeremy’s partner just gaped.

“No. I’m just saying she wouldn’t be an effective tool of castle invasion. Although she does possess a greater mass than your dance partner and would certainly be more effective than her if we were raiding a castle.”

“Papyrus, if I had the ability to kick you right now…” You muttered.

Jeremy gestured to Papyrus. “Yeah, see what I-“

“Jeremy, shut the hell up.” Arguing wasn’t helping and if this kept up, both groups were going to get kicked out of class.” You tugged the skeleton, regaining his attention. “Papyrus, listen, some women find it mean spirited if you suggest they have a…large mass.”

“Oh? Well, I certainly didn’t mean it as such.”

“Yeah, I realize that. So, uh, being compared to a battering ram isn’t a compliment, got it?”

“What if I was comparing you to one because I think you’re strong enough to break through my emotional defenses?” He inquired.

“That…I..uh…actually, in that case, that’s a compliment…I think,” you confessed.

“What the crap, Lori, you’re taking his side?” Jeremy contended.

Were you? “…Yes?”

“And well she should. I’m right.”

“Like hell you are.”

Papyrus smiled disarmingly at your friend. “Why don’t we both agree to disagree?” He suggested.

“Why don’t we take this outside?”

You stared at your friend. “What the fuck, Jeremy?”

“I wouldn’t advise that,” the Skeleton responded coolly.

Finally, a voice a reason. “Thank you, Papyrus,” you gratefully thanked.

“Yes, I would thrash you quite soundly if we did,” he smirked.

“What the fuck, Papyrus?”

He shrugged. “It’s true.”

“Bring it on, bones!”

You found yourself immediately pushing Papyrus back before he could respond to the direct challenge. Jeremy’s partner likewise shoved her partner back. Both of you scowled at the men you were with until they didn’t make eye contact with each other. “Quit it.”

“He started it-.”

“We’ll finish it,” the other woman countered, gesturing to you.

Jeremy glanced between the both of you. “That’d be kind of hot actually.”

“You know what would be hotter?” A familiar modulated voice sang as Mettaton twirled on over between your two groups. “If the boys would kiss and make up.”

Jeremy and Papyrus eyed each other hesitantly. You grinned sinisterly. “I think that would be a great idea. What do you think?”

The other woman grinned. “I’d pay money to see that.”

Papyrus and Jeremy wisely said nothing. Mettaton pursed his lips. “No? I suppose I’ll have to broker the peace with the girls then. Would either of you beautiful women be open to some smooches of your own?”

Your grin vanished quickly. The other woman looked equally confused yet nodded unsurely. “Uh, yes, wait, what do you mean by that?” Before either of you could act, the robot seized Jeremy’s partner and dipped her into a swooning kiss. You immediately lapsed into shocked silence as you watched the robot caress her hair and whisper romantic things in her ear as he broke the kiss with a satisfied smirk. He lifted the girl back to a standing position, her face flushed and stars clearly sparkling in her eyes.

“Oh-wow, wow,” she gasped, her hands on her lips that now had glittery, lip gloss on them. She had been glamified.

You felt Mettaton’s optics on you and you shivered. “One down, one to go,” Mettaton purred, reaching for you next.

Before either of you could react, Papyrus pulled Jeremy into a determined kiss. Your jaw dropped.

“Oh my God,” you choked.

Jeremy struggled briefly against the skeleton’s surprise attack, turning redder than a girl whose mom had thrown her a period party in celebration of her first menstrual cycle and invited all her family and classmates. You could not tear your eyes away as Papyrus deepened the kiss, prompting a groan out of a horrified Jeremy before he finally released your date.

Jeremy stumbled back, wiping at his mouth. “What the fuck was that?! Are you gay?”

“I’m incredibly comfortable with my sexuality,” Papyrus panted, that kiss apparently having taken a considerable amount of exertion on his part.

Jeremy held up his hands. “Just, just, go over there. Oh my God, I need to go to the restroom.” The human male bolted, leaving the four of you alone.

Mettaton mused. “Not quite what I anticipated but I can’t argue with the results.” Jeremy’s forgotten partner tapped him on his shoulder before he could leave. He turned to see her unbuttoning the top of her blouse.

“Take me,” she breathed.

Mettaton stopped her from completely exposing her breasts and pulled out a sharpie. “Not now darling, but let me leave you with a reminder of me,” he cooed, signing the exposed portion of her clavicle.

Your attention returned to Papyrus who just finished straightening himself out…well, he could never truly straighten himself in your mind from now on, but hey he looked a lot less stressed and put together so that was alright. You think. Dammit, you were not going to get that image of your ex passionately kissing your date out of your head anytime soon.

“You alright there?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

You cleared your throat as Mettaton led the woman back to Frisk and Toriel. “You know, you could have just let Mettaton kiss me.”

“Too great of a risk.”

“Oh?”

“You’re a phenomenal kisser.”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, you’d steal him away.” Papyrus cleared his throat uncomfortably. “And then everyone would blame me that I would allow him to be taken away from his adoring fans.”

“Uh huh.”

“And the guilt of knowing that I could have prevented such a national tragedy would haunt me for the rest of my days. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”

“I guess not.”

“And his fans would be upset with you and probably send you nasty letters. So, if you think about it, you should really be thanking me for saving your life.”

“Thanking you?”

“You’re welcome.”

The sound of a whistle clued you in that class was over. You pulled away from your partner in time to see Emilio approach you.

“So,” Emilio began awkwardly, “Not quite sure if it’s a triangle or a square going on here between you guys, but try to keep it out of the classroom, alright?”

You paled. “Oh, uh sure. Yeah. Sorry about that.” The instructor walked away. Now your teacher thought you were a swinger. Fantastic.

Papyrus grinned triumphantly, Emilio's comments going over his skull. “Human, I feel this went very well.”

Considering that this could have ended in a fight or a sexual assault lawsuit, he was right. You found yourself nodding. “Actually, I think you're right!”

“Of course!”

“It’s still a really stupid plan though,” you reminded him, pointing to the handcuffs.

“Nyeh heh heh, perhaps the execution could be smoother.”

“Yup. Ask next time, okay?”

“Alright.”

You shifted on your feet. “Well it was…nice? Yeah, nice. But I should head home before it gets too late.”

“Oh yes of course! I should really head home too.” You both turned to walk away from each other but jerked to a stop as you felt the tug on your wrist.

“Oh. I forgot. Handcuffs.” you realized. “Uh...Did Undyne call you?”

He checked his phone. “No.” He glanced toward Emilio. “Perhaps he will let us hang out here for a few hours?” He hoped.

That sounded incredibly unappealing. “He might have another class,” you reminded him. He was silent. You swallowed. “I guess we could go to my house and wait for her to call?”

Papyrus coughed nervously. “I suppose we don’t really have much of a choice.”

~~~~~

“You're really something, aren't you?” Jeremy growled.

“You're not helping this at all,” you spat at your friend. Papyrus chose at this moment to remain tactfully silent.

Jeremy had practically accosted you both in the parking lot and followed you both to your car. He had noticeably put himself far enough from Papyrus’ free hand, most likely fearing a repeat of the events earlier this evening. There was no way you could drive your car with Papyrus attached to your left hand. And a brief attempt quickly made you realize that he was a bit too tall to drive your tiny car.

“What are you going to do with your car?” Jeremy wondered, his voice tense.

“I don't know. I can't drive it that's for sure.”

“Do not fret, I will drive your car home!’ all three if you turned to see Mettaton already entering your car.

“Wait, wait wait!” You called, trying unsuccessfully to grab Mettaton before he plopped himself in. You tapped on the window and he rolled it down. “Do you know how to drive?”

“Of course! A star like myself has driven many vehicles for my many, many films!”

Papyrus beamed. “See! Problem solved. I can take you home now.”

Jeremy growled angrily. “She’s not going anywhere until I say so.”

You heard your engine roar to life and Mettaton shifted your car into gear…only for him to immediately jump forward and run your car into a wall. It was silent for a moment.

You had no words. You felt your eye twitch. Jeremy attempted to pull you into a reassuring hug, but Papyrus was quicker and drew you against him. “Go ahead,” he told you. You screamed into his chest as the two males looked at each other awkwardly.

“Don’t worry dear! I’ll have someone fix your vehicle up and bring it to your home later!” Mettaton called from your driver’s seat.

“I’m going to kill that goddamn robot,” you muttered. Jeremy looked at you in alarm before turning to Papyrus.

“Okay, now you can take her home,” Jeremy authorized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone did get kissed, didn't they? ;) If I could fucking draw that entire thing, I would and you would die inside just as me as me lol
> 
> Looks like we're spending the night together! Predictions how that'll go down? :D
> 
> Artwork gleefully inspired by this Chapter:  
>   by kittywhowillkillyoudead  
> Kiss and Make Up  
>   
>   
>   
> Kiss and Make Up (But think of the children!) by OpalCrystalheart02  
>   
>   
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	109. Not the official update but I need your input

Hi, the official chapter should come out tomorrow evening. It's eighteen pages so far. Which is cool and exhausting.

However, I have since learned that a lot of you are not able to see the pictures that people draw because the majority of them are on Tumblr. And that's a bummer, because these are really cool pictures and they're fun.

So, I had an idea and I wanted to know if you would be down for this. I have the ability to show the image in archive while still linking back to the person who drew it. I plan to do this for each piece of artwork in the fanart story, so each chapter is a piece of art. Do you want me to do that for every chapter that new art comes out for though? It may make navigating the screen a little clunky comma so I can always just linked to the chapter that you can see this artwork at if you would rather that.

Let me know in the comments, I should have the chapter up by 6 tomorrow PST

https://68.media.tumblr.com/3627bb5a0f5966a6fe3d6f245b12a389/tumblr_os4lycc7eL1upxxiho2_400.png


	110. Evening Routines (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT! SO THIS UPDATE...
> 
> This update comes with a lot of new things. #1, for everyone who helped me troubleshoot photos, you guys are awesome. Thank you for taking the time to constantly go back and tell me what's up. #2, Okumatte you wonderful bastard you, has provided me the lines of code to not only be able to include the pictures in the chapters they belong, but TO MAKE THEM FIT ON YOUR PHONE SCREEN so you don't have to worry about going left and right!!! So for those of you who don't have tumblrs (which you should get because there's lots of cool stuff there but that's okay) you will finally be able to see the pictures! So, if you look at the Chapter List and see the word (Artwork) next to it, that means there is artwork that I successfully attached in the end notes and you should go look. I'm still in the process of putting the photos in every chapter they belong in and am still trying to figure out where pictures go that don't have a specific chapter but we'll figure that out as we go. TELL ME HOW THIS LOOKS TO YOU!!
> 
> And these awesome mother fuckers drew pictures!! YOU NEED TO GO SEE THEM! And two of them are on their respective chapters as well!! (LittleRayofLight and mine will go live in the MLA Fanart story until then)  
> Edit: I've heard some of the links did not work . I removed them and will repost later.  
> Edit #2: I reposted them and added artwork to the end. Go look at it. You will not regret it. 
> 
> [Being A Professional!](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/162382581405/peanutbutter-n-meli-another-mini-comic-from) (Chapter 105)  
> Kiss and Make Up (Chapter 108)  
>    
> Lori Profile Photo
> 
> On to the story!!

 

You didn’t have much time to really think as any thoughts you attempted to dwell on were jostled out of your mind every time Papyrus had to shift gears, which resulted in your hand being jerked along with his. Bless his stupid heart, he apologized every time until you finally told him to stop saying sorry because it was starting to bug you.

You pretty much had enough by the time he mercifully stopped at a red light. “Just-just, can you just shift with my hand on the gear stick?” You finally asked, clearly exasperated.

“Well, yes.”

“Good.” You placed your hand over the knob and gripped it carefully. You didn’t accidentally want to shift gears. He covered your hand and paused when the light turned green. “Green means go.” You reminded him.

He squeezed your hand gently as he shifted into first, making the briefest of contacts. He lifted off for a few moments, hovering above yours until he shifted into second. His hand lingered a little longer this time before removing itself. “How is your wrist?” He asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Is it okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, humans’ wrists have a tendency to bruise under restraint, I’ve noticed. Fortunately, I don’t have wrists to bruise. But you do. Quite lovely wrists. And hands too, actually.” You looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. He didn’t make eye contact. “I mean, well I’m covering your hand now so I can’t say it for sure at the moment, but from what I’ve seen they’re quite nice. And soft.” He lifted his hand up with a nervous chuckle. “Maybe you should check?”

You had been yanked on a bit, you had to admit. You looked at the skin. No bruise or rash. To be honest, these cuffs were rather comfy. Now if only you had put them on willingly, you’d be even more comfortable. You shook your head and replaced your hand on the shift stick. “No bruise.”

“Oh good.” He chuckled to himself. “It certainly could have been worse, right? I could have bound both your hands. Nyeh..heh.”

And nowwww, you were thinking about that instead. Despite the cool night temperature, you could feel your cheeks heat up. Damn you body. Damn you. Maybe this wouldn’t have excited you that much a few weeks ago, but now restrained by your ex that you were on good terms with…This was too much. You had to squelch that impulse.

“If you bound both of my hands, I would have just headed home, alone.” you pointed out.

“You would have driven home with your hands bound?” Papyrus asked.

“Uh...yes?”

“No. I’d have brought you home.” Papyrus argued. You entertained the notion briefly of whether you would have been able to fight him off if that were the case only to realize that he'd probably just sling you over his back and that would be the end of that.

You acquiesced. “Thanks. Probably the least you could do since you cuffed me.”

“Of course!”

His friendliness was contagious, even though he was responsible for your current predicament. You sighed. What’s it with you and Sans tying me up? It’s like you guys know it’s a fucking kink of yours.

“Excuse me but what’s a kink?”

Your eyes widened. Oh my God. “Oh my God, did I just say that outloud?!” You gasped.

“Are you referring to the chain? I’ve heard kink referred to that like a tangle but it’s too short to be tangled.” Papyrus mused out loud.

“Oh, well, uh, kink means a…preference.”

“A preference. Huh. Alright then.” He coughed. “Are you saying that you would prefer to be a tied up by a friend?”

“…Sure. Consensually.” You added about a moment.

He didn’t quite understand but that was good. “Now that you mention it, Sans and I have tied you up, haven’t we?”

“Yup.” You tried not to think too much of it, despite how your stomach twisted in a knot.

“Do friends tie up friends regularly?”

You shook your head. “Nope. Just you two weirdos.”

“Works for me.”

You realized his hand was still on yours. He was only driving with one hand. You had always seen him drive with two. “Papyrus, would you like me to shift for you?”

“I can drive with one hand, it’s alright.” he assured you. You shrugged. It was certainly easier than having your wrist jerked around. Your mind tried to wander elsewhere only for it to return as he spoke out loud. “Did I already mention that this could be a lot worse?” If you could bury your head in both of your hands, you would right now.

~~~~~

By the time you got to your home, it was closer to 9 at night. “So, I guess you’re spending the night with me?” You ventured as you walked toward the stairs.

“Yes, ah, I suppose so.” You tried to lead up the stairs only for your foot to never come into contact with the first step. You realized that Papyrus had scooped you up bridal style. “Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing?” You gasped, nearly flailing from surprise.

“I-uh, well, was going to just carry you up.” He shifted your weight as if to demonstrate and your right arm quickly wrapped around his neck to secure yourself against his warm chest, left wrist going taut by your side.

“Why couldn’t we just walk up one after the other?” You asked, lowering your left arm a bit to loosen the restraint.

“Oh! Right! I suppose I could have just lead the way instead of both of us trying to climb at once.” he chuckled awkwardly.

“Exactl-wait, YOU lead? This is my place! I wanna lead.”

“Well, that would work too.” He started to put you down.

You clung to him tighter. “I, well, I’m already up here.” You shamelessly admitted, nudging your head against his shoulder.

“So you are.” He mused. In less than a second, he was already quickly ascending the stairs. In less than five, he was at your front door. You gazed at him. Damn, he was fast. “Just as well that I carried you. We could still be down there arguing.” He chuckled. When you didn’t immediately try to jump out of his arms, he watched you curiously. “Everything alright?”

Shit. He caught you staring. “Ha! Yup! Everything’s fine!” You hopped out with a shout. You realized you were both rather loud and your eyes darted toward your neighbor’s home. You let out a silent thank you as Kaylie’s door did not open at your arrival. You unlocked your now functioning door and entered. You locked the door after Papyrus and shifted awkwardly.

“Uh…so, yeah, are you hungry?” You asked.

“Yes, but please do not feel you have to cook anything for me. I can wait.”

You shook your head. “No, no. I’m not going to let you starve, dummy. Besides, I’m hungry too. I think I have a frozen pizza I can put in the oven.”

“Frozen…pizza?” Papyrus hesitated.

“Yes?”

“Would you like me to make you a pizza? Undyne taught me-“

You cut him off right there. “No. Undyne taught you how to burn down a kitchen.” You sighed. “Listen, how about this? Tomorrow, I’ll go ahead and teach you how to make a pizza and we’ll have pizza then. In the meantime, uh, we could make sandwiches.”

“I would appreciate that.” Papyrus thanked.

Sandwiches were relatively safe and you both sat on your couch shortly thereafter eating them. “Would you like to watch some television?” You offered. “I don’t have cable but I do have the internet?”

Papyrus stole a furtive glance toward your TV stand and shook his head. “No thank you.” That was…odd? You snuck a glance there as well. You almost choked. Alphys’ DVD was still here? Oh shit. You had to find some way to discreetly hide the movie without Papyrus seeing you, which would be especially difficult as you were at the moment attached to the skeleton.

“Oh my God, what’s that?” You gasped, pointing to the kitchen. Papyrus quickly turned and you chucked a pillow at the DVD.

You missed. “FUCK!”

“What?!” Papyrus asked, returning his attention to you.

“I missed.”

“Missed what?”

“The DVD-” You froze. You dumb motherfucker.

Papyrus turned to the movie and scratched his head. “Why were you trying to hit the octopus movie?”

You groaned. “I swear to God, it’s not mine, it’s…” Wait a minute. Did he just say octopus? “Hold up, how did you know there was an octopus in the movie?” You asked hesitantly.

Now it was his turn to freeze. “Nyeh, I-I-”

You broke into a disbelieving grin. “Oh my God, you watched it.”

“Nyeh! No, Er…it’s on the cover.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

No it wasn’t. You stood up. “It is not. I’ll prove it.” You tried to walk to retrieve the DVD but Papyrus wouldn’t budge from his seat. You glared at him. “C’mon, get up.”

“No thank you.” You grabbed the chain with both hands and pulled. “Stop that.” He ordered, grounding his feet into the floor. You ignored him and grabbed the TV remote from the table. With that in your hand, you were able to knock the DVD off the stand to the ground within your reach. You shot a devious grin toward Papyrus who rolled his sockets. “Your resourcefulness is admirable.” He admitted.

“Fuck yeah it is. Let’s see you beat that.” Your fingers barely wrapped around the tip of the DVD but felt yourself yanked by the chain backwards. You landed unceremoniously on his lap with a gasp. You looked up and saw him smirk.

“Don’t underestimate my ingenuity.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “Your plan was to get me to sit on your lap?”

“….I did not think this through.”

“No, no you did not.” He squirmed underneath you as you lifted up the DVD that you surprisingly managed to hold on to during this whole exchange. Papyrus’ sockets widened as you waved it close to his skull. “So where’s the octopus, Papyrus?” He groaned.

“Very well, but you knowing that there was an octopus…” Your own eyes widened and you tried to back off only for him to prevent your escape with a firm squeeze to your back. “That means that you also watched the cartoon too.” He logically pointed out.

“Uh...” Shit. You coughed uncomfortably, not having anticipated the tables to have turned on you quite so quickly. “I guess you’re right about that.” You eyed him shyly, not having enough distance between you both to hide your awkward facial expression. “Welp, I’m pretty weird.”

He found relief in your admittance. “That’s alright, weird can be good!” He explained and you couldn’t help but feel won over by his words. It didn’t help that his words were accompanied by a tight hug. Being so close to him, you could see that his genuine smile practically lit up the rest of his skull. You liked when he smiled and you didn’t get a chance to see him like this so close…were you still on his lap? He seemed to realize it too and you could see his expression falter into something you hadn’t seen before. Whatever it was, you didn’t like how it made his body tense up.

“I like being weird with you.” You hummed, pressing yourself against his chest gently. His sockets quickly looked you up and down, his expression immediately shifting to one of surprise. You nestled in a little closer and he relaxed, his free hand drifting to your face. You could feel your heart beating more rapidly than it had thirty seconds ago as his gloved hand barely brushed against your red cheek. The moment his hand touched your face, he stiffened, his expression changed back to what you had seen earlier. You searched his skull for answers but he did not make eye contact with you.

This was wrong. A heavy weight settled in your chest. He was interested in someone else and you had made a move on him. What the fuck was your problem? Of course he was going to rebuff you, you moron. He was already pulling his hand away from you and you pushed yourself off his lap with an awkward chuckle. “I’m sorry about that.” You found yourself blabbering.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” He apologized. You brought your knees up to your chest. There was a tense silence between you both. You both needed a distraction, anything at the moment.

By the grace of God, Papyrus’ phone went off. “Oh my God, thank you.” He exclaimed, pulling out the device. He quickly answered it. “Hello, Undyne?”

“Did you guys do it yet?”

Papyrus blanched. “No, we’re just sitting here talking about an anime movie.” You couldn't help but snort. Well, he wasn't wrong about that. He waved you to be quiet, a smile breaking out on his own teeth.

“What a bunch of dorks. Ha. Okay. Don’t do anything, got it? I’m going to figure this out as soon as Alphys calls me back.”

You both nodded. “Of course, Undyne!” Papyrus confirmed. “We will probably go to sleep soon.” He reassured her.

“Cool, well just checking in on you dorks. See ya later.” The phone disconnected and with it, the awkward tension that had built up just minutes ago. However, this left you to ponder Undyne’s words.

You were attached to the skeleton, you realized. Which would make sleeping arrangements somewhat difficult. The couch was not large enough for both of you and you definitely did not want to make him sleep on the ground while you slept on the couch. That left two options. “As far as sleeping,” You began, startling Papyrus. He also appeared to be thinking. “We could both sleep on the floor.”

“Human, I do not wish for you to have to sleep on the floor.” Papyrus insisted.

“Okay. Well then the other option is my bed.”

Papyrus appeared to blink thoughtfully. “Ah. Yes. You could sleep on the bed and I could sleep on the floor next to you?”

“No. Both of us would be on the bed.” You admitted shyly.

“O-oh!” He looked rather unruffled by your words.

“I mean! Look, it makes sense. My floor is not too comfortable and our hands would cramp up if one of us tried to sleep on the floor.” You justified, trying to ignore how awkward you just made the situation. You needed to stress the platonicness of this action as best as you could. “And my bed is big enough for both of us to sleep on together. Well, not together, I mean, just we can sleep comfortably on it. Ya know?”

“I see the logic of us sleeping together.” Papyrus’ sockets widened and he quickly corrected himself. “I mean, sleeping on the bed next to each other.”

“Yes, ah. Exactly. That.” You scratched your head. “Man, maybe we should have a drink to make this less weird.”

Papyrus shrugged. “You’re welcome to do so. But I do ask that you do not drink anything in excess. I really don’t want a repeat of last weekend.”

“What happened last weekend?” You asked, your eyes narrowing.

“Nothing.” Papyrus slammed his jaw shut.

“Liar! I KNEW something else happened!! Tell me!” You demanded. He looked toward the wall you shared with Kaylie. "Kaylie is NOT going to help you this time!" He still didn’t look at you. Fine. You pulled your manacled arm down and the action caught him off guard enough for him to be brought to your level. “What. Did. I. Do?” You asked dangerously.

Papyrus shuddered. “You…licked me.”

“I licked you?” You asked, feeling the color drain out of your face.

He nodded. “It was rather gross.”

“Oh man, I’m so sorry.” You genuinely apologized. That was kinda fucked up of you. “How can I make it up to you?”

“That’s alright, an apology is quite acceptable.”

“I got it! Go ahead and lick me back.”

“Nyeh?!”

You nodded. “It’s only fair.”

“Even if I wanted to, I don’t have a tongue.”

“Sure you do. Sans has one.” You remembered.

“Well, Sans might but-” He stopped mid-speech. You realized what you said the moment Papyrus did as well. You clamped your mouth shut and Papyrus peered you slightly suspicious. “How do you know Sans has a tongue?”

You knew because he used it to suck and lick your nipples during wild stress relieving fucking! But there was no way in hell you were going to admit that. Think! Think! Think! “I saw him eat ice cream once.” You lied.

“Ah. Well, I am unable to so-“

“Have you tried?”

“Pardon?”

“Have you tried making a body part at all?”

“N-no.” Papyrus answered oddly. You attributed it to him being rather unnerved by your suggestion to lick you.

“Well, you should. You could stick your tongue out at Sans when he makes a bad joke.” you suggested.

He tapped his chin. “Hmm, I hadn’t considered that.”

“You could use your tongue for ice cream as well!”

Papyrus broke into a delighted smile. “Wowie! The possibilities of flavor tasting are endless!!” He composed himself quickly under your coy smile. “Very well, I will give this a shot.” He was quiet, a look of intense concentration evident on his skull. You watched him eagerly and after half a minute or so, he blinked and looked at you in surprise. “Uh, are you watching me?”

“Yeah?”

“Oh.” His sockets shifted uncomfortably. “This may take some time.”

You blushed. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s just, you might get bored.”

“No, no, I got you.”

“Maybe you’d want to grab a book.”

“I got it, jeez, Papyrus.” You sighed. “Tell you what, you figure that out and I’ll go take a shower.” You tried to walk to your shower but jerked to a stop. “Shit.”

“What?”

“We’re handcuffed.”

“Oh, I’ll come with you.”

“Really?”

“Sure.” You glanced at him to see whether he was serious. He nodded at you briefly. You walked him into the restroom and watched him again.

“Are you sure?”

“It’s fine,” he waved at you dismissively, his mind clearly elsewhere at this point. You shrugged. Wow, his relationship with Mettaton must be rock solid. You remember in the past that just catching a glimpse of you slightly nude seemed to fluster him but here he was not even batting an eye at the possibility of you being fully naked. You shrugged and began to strip off your pants.

“So, is it weird to try to make magic appear in places?” You asked.

Papyrus sighed, watching his reflection in your bathroom mirror. “Well, it’s becoming easier as of late. It’s just trying to focus magic into the shape and place you want.”

“Can you do that for anything?” You asked, shimmying out of your pants and tossing them passed the skeleton.

“Well yes, I suppose. But right now, the tongue is not very cooperative.”

The tongue was difficult. The way he said it, it almost sounded like he had successfully made other things. You pulled off your underwear and tucked it away. “Have you made anything else?”

“I may have made-made…Oh my God. What are you doing?” You peeked in his direction to see him staring right at you, his jaw hanging open in disbelief.

“Papyrus! What the hell?” You gasped, pulling a towel down to cover your bottom half.

“Why are you taking off your clothes?!”

“I’m taking a shower!”

“That doesn’t explain why you’re taking off your clothes!”

“Yes it does! I’m taking a shower! Did you expect me to shower with my clothes on?”

“YES!”

“That’s STUPID.”

“It’s practical.”

“No it’s not!” You grumbled. “Fine, well, I need to change my clothes at least.” Papyrus had been stunned into silence. You thanked the higher powers you had your hybrid bra on where you could disconnect the straps and soon slid the uncomfortable material off of you. You eyed Papyrus irritably. “Can you check to see if there are scissors in the bathroom drawer?” You asked.

“Sure.” Papyrus rustled through your drawers only for him to tsk. “Nope. Nothing in here.”

“Shit, alright, we gotta get them from my kitchen.”

“Not that I’m questioning you, but why do you need scissors to change clothes?”

“I can’t take off my shirt. So I’m planning on cutting it.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I can’t take it off with you attached to me.”

“Oh. And you’ll just…walk around naked?”

“No. I have a strapless tube top. I’ll slip that on,” you argued.

“Oh, uh, well, would you like me to help?” He asked, placing his hands on the bottom of your shirt.

“Uh sure. Do you have a knife or...?”

RIP. Your eyes opened as Papyrus pulled sharply upwards, tearing your top asunder. You gasped at the sudden exposure and you yanked your hands back to cover your breasts, accidentally dragging Papyrus’ hand to your chest as well. His hand rested on your left breast. You gawked at each other.

“Papyrus.”

“Yes?”

“Any reason you’re still touching my boob?”

“…More of shock than anything at the moment, to be honest.” He admitted bluntly. You swallowed.

“Think about letting go?”

“That’s a really good idea.” He pulled away. You pulled up the towel on the ground to cover your breasts.

“Alright, c’mon. I saw that shirt in the left side of my closet.” You managed to squeak out, your throat unnaturally dry as you led a nonresistant Papyrus back to your bedroom. You faced the closet, hugging the towel to you with your armpit and quickly palmed through your clothes.

“About what just happened,” he began.

“Papyrus.”

“I just want to let you know that I was not harmed in anyway.”

“Yes, I realize that.” You mumbled.

“On the contrary, you’re, ah, really soft.” You heard Papyrus confess behind you. You were glad that you weren’t facing him to see how red faced you were. “It was like a bunny without fur.”

You were halfway done pulling out the shirt before you paused. “What?”

“A plump, perky bunny.”

“Can we stop talking about my breasts now?”

“Oh my God, yes please. I was running out of flattering adjectives,” Papyrus thanked, letting out a huge sigh of relief. You stepped into the top and pulled it over your chest before facing him again. He looked vastly relieved.

“Do you want to keep trying to magic your tongue?”

“Yes, yes I would.”

“Great. I’ll go get a book.”

“What type of book?” He asked.

“Whatever book Kaylie’s kids have left here,” you admitted, searching around your nightstand. You fished out a small book and grinned at it. “Hey, this is a good one.” You held up the book, “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”.

Papyrus eyed it thoughtfully. “What happens?”  
“What do you mean?”

“What happens when you give mouse a cookie?”

You grinned. “That’s what we find out in the book.”

Papyrus stared at you for a moment before breaking into a delighted grin. “Human, you have intrigued me. Let us find out what happens when we give rodents confectionary goods!”

You goofily beamed at his enthusiasm and, before you knew it, you had hopped onto your bed, book in hand. He climbed after you just as eagerly and it was only after you and both settled down did you realize you were sitting on the bed with your ex. You swallowed as he settled in next to you, surprisingly giving you some room despite the handcuffs. You started the book.

“If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to ask for a glass of milk.”

“Seems reasonable so far.” Papyrus noted, clicking his teeth together decisively.

“When you give him the milk, he’ll probably ask you for a straw. When he’s finished, he’ll ask for a napkin.”

“Sans could learn a thing or two from this mouse. Do you know he went a whole day at the lab with mustard on his collarbone? Why do I bother to put napkins in his lunch if he won’t use them?”

“Then he’ll want to look in the mirror to make sure that he doesn’t have a milk moustache.”

“…Milk Moustache?”

“You know, when you drink a glass of milk but you tilt the glass too steep and some of it is on your upper lip and you pull away and it kinda of looks…like…a moustache.” You realized how silly that sounded but he appeared to take it in stride and motioned for you to continue.

“When he looks in the mirror, he might notice that his hair needs a trim.”

“Ah, yes, there’s that fur thing again. One of the many things I am incapable of doing at this moment.”

“Just at this moment?”

“I’m sure if I really put my mind to it, I could grow a rugged fur coat.” Papyrus shrugged. “But it would just wreck the upholstery so I refrain from it.”

“Awfully noble of you.” You laughed. You cleared your throat. “So he’ll probably ask for a pair of nail scissors.” Papyrus cocked at your curiously. “Normal scissors won’t work because he’s so small.” He nodded. “When he’s finished giving himself a trim, he’ll want a broom to sweep up.” Your ex gave a thumbs up at the mouse’s thoughtfulness. “He’ll start sweeping. He might get carried away and sweep every room in the house. He may even end up washing the floors as well.”

“Does this mouse need a roommate? He’s welcome to come live with Sans and I.” Papyrus wistfully sighed.

“When he’s done, he’ll probably want to take a nap.”

“Offer still stands despite that.”

“I’ll let him know in case living with the little boy doesn’t work out.” You smirked. “You’ll have to fix up a little box for him with a blanket and a pillow.”

“That’s adorable.”

“How’s that tongue magic coming along?” You inquired.

“Getting there. I could have sworn I felt a taste bud.”

“He’ll crawl in, make himself comfortable and fluff the pillow a few times. He’ll probably ask you to read him a story. So you’ll read to him one of your books and he’ll ask to see the pictures.” Papyrus leaned closer as you motioned toward the illustration in the book. “When he looks at the pictures, he’ll get so excited, he’ll want to draw one of his own. He’ll ask for some paper and crayons.”

“There’s some coloring on this next page.” Papyrus pointed out as you turned the page.

“What? Where?” His manacled hand took yours and dragged it to the corner of the page. Sure enough, someone had started scribbling next to where the mouse had started to draw.

You broke out laughing. “Oh my God, one of Kaylie’s kids must have taken the story literally. I’ve had this book for a while. I wonder which one of them did this. I’ll have to ask them when I see them next.” You balanced the book on your knees and continued. “He’ll draw a picture.”

“When the picture’s finished. He’ll want to sign his name. With a pen. Then he’ll want to hang his picture on your refrigerator. Which means he’ll need scotch tape.”

“A host’s responsibilities are never done,” he affirmed solemnly.

“He’ll hang up his drawing and stand back to look at it. Looking at the refrigerator will remind him that he’s thirsty. So he’ll ask for a glass of milk.”

“I better make sure I have a lot of milk if I was going to host a small rodent. Especially if you visit, you might use your pink stick on him.”

“Dammit, Papyrus, I said I’m sorry,” you huffed, leaning into him in exasperation.

He held up his free hand. “I’m joking. Slightly.”

“And chances are, if he’s asking for a glass of milk, he’s going to want a cookie to go with it. The end.” You closed the book and shot him a look, “You just had to make that comment right at the end, huh?”

“My commentary is highly sought after.” He informed you seriously.

You stifled a giggle until you looked down. Your handcuffed hands were still holding one another. “Oh ha. Look at that.”

You motioned downwards and he spotted your hands. He chuckled softly, pulling his hand away. You could have just pulled it away without saying anything but nope. Or just left it there. Wonder if he’d notice if you hadn’t said anything. You just had to make it weird again.

“Welp,” you coughed, “I guess it’s best we head to bed.” You dropped the book on the night stand.

“Ha!” Papyrus’ triumphant yell caught your attention and you looked over at your friend. He broke into an open mouthed smile. The reason being, he now sported a fluorescent, orange tongue.

“Oh my God, holy crap, you did it!” You enthusiastically cheered.

“Of course! Nothing is impossible for the Great Papyrus!” He bragged. Papyrus retracted the tongue into his mouth and tapped his skull thoughtfully. “This feels very different,” he mused.

“It looks different too.” You admitted, watching in fascination as glimmers of orange magic peeked out from between his teeth. You could even catch slight glows through his nasal cavity and eye sockets. “Does it hurt or anything?”

“No, it’s just a different sensation.” He chortled as he began to nestle into the covers more. “It’s not terribly difficult to maintain but I certainly wouldn’t want to glow in the dark.”

You smirked and gave him a gentle tug to prevent him from getting too comfortable. “Well, now that you made a tongue, you can go ahead and give me my comeuppance.” Papyrus froze and you regretted reminding him. “You don’t have to, I just thought it would be kind of fun for you to get back at me.”

Papyrus relaxed. “Actually, if you don’t mind, I would like to try while I have the magic going. I should not shy away from new experiences.” He scooted closer to you and studied your face. “I don’t think this should hurt you.”

“Do you want to hurt me?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t think it will hurt me. Magic effects with intent, right?”

Papyrus nodded, obviously pleased with your knowledge. “Yes! Of course! How perceptive of you! I want this to be a good experience so you shall remain safe for I have excellent control of my magic.” He smugly notified you.

You smiled anyway. “Alright, go for it!”

“I believe you had me shut my sockets when you did it to me.” Papyrus wryly reminded you.

You stuck out your tongue at him. “You’re being a stickler for protocol aren’t ya? Fair enough.” You shut your eyes and tried to fight off a smile in anticipation. God you really hoped he wasn’t going to try to lick your nose. Your nose had enough of a tongue bath from Jeremy’s attempts at kissing.

You felt his hand grasp your chin gently and lift it up a bit. Right, even though he was sitting in front of you, he was still taller than you. The angle would make it easier for him. Another few seconds of nothing. “Are you going to do it or not?” You teased, still keeping your eyes closed.

“Nyeh, yes. Just, ah aiming?” You heard his voice waver. You smiled in the direction of his voice.

“I’m sure you’ll be fi-ah!” Your reassurance cut off into a cry as you felt something hot and versatile press against your clavicle. It was dragged upwards, hitting every nerve and sending goosebumps all over your body. A startled half moan/cry broke from your lips as it finished at the base of your ear. Your eyes opened to see Papyrus pulling away from you.

“Did I do it wrong?” He asked in alarm.

No. “Yes! Oh my god! Don’t lick there!” You gasped, burying your face into your hands, trying to hide your heated face.

“Oh wow, I’m sorry. I did not realize that it was a bad place!” He stammered.

“Let’s-let’s just turn off the light and go to bed!” You squeaked.

Papyrus appeared rather apologetic but turned off your night light without protesting. You tried to lie down comfortably facing away from the skeleton but your arm bent at a weird angle. “Ow, ow.” You whined.

“One moment, let me try-that doesn’t feel very good.” You could hear him admit in the darkness as his own bony arm bent in a way that it shouldn’t.

“Your limbs don’t detach at all, do they?” You asked.

“No they do not! I am a Monster soldier, not a toy soldier.” Papyrus snapped back. Ouch. Looks like you hit a sensitive point there.

“Sorry, sorry. Dumb question.” You groaned.

He untensed. Slightly. “That’s alright.”

“The only positions that will work will be on our back.” You considered.

“You can get colds far easier that way. How about our stomachs?”

“Boobs make that position uncomfortable after a bit,” You admitted, “Which only leaves facing each other.”

“Yes, that does seem like the only compromise here.” What were you both to do? This was the only way that would work for both of you and get you both at least some sleep. You faced him and noted an absence of magic. At least this didn’t alarm him too much it seemed.

“Right. Okay, let me just, there.” You snuggled up against his chest.

“O-oh!” He started. “You’re rather close! I thought-“

Shit. You could face each other with some distance between you two. “Sorry, I just thought this is what we were doing.” You started to push away.

“No!” He stopped you, his free hand grabbing the cloth of your shirt.

“No?” You asked.

He released your shirt. “No, no, it’s alright. I just wasn’t expecting this is all.” You watched to see if he changed his mind or said anything further but he did not. So you kept your face pressed against his chest, inadvertently taking in his scent. Your hand wandered to his chest and stroked it gently. It wasn’t rough like you expected. Almost comforting in some strange way.

“Huh, you were right.” You mumbled.

“Yes…about what?”

“Skeletons are pretty cuddly.” He made a choking noise in his throat. You petted his chest in mild confusion. “Your heartbeat is increasing, Papyrus. Are you okay?”

He swallowed pretty hard. “Oh, yes. Absolutely, just, I was imagining all the times Undyne and I cuddled.”

You stopped stroking his chest and looked at him absolutely bewildered. “You and Undyne CUDDLED?”

“When she put me in a headlock, yes.” You paused, letting the image set in, before bursting into laughter.

“Oh my God, Papyrus! Sure, sure, alright, that works for me.” You chuckled, pressing yourself against him, your hand now remaining stationary against his chest. “Don’t put me in a headlock, okay?” You asked with a yawn

“Not without proper training first.” He assured you sleepily, patting your head affectionately before you both finally dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a long chapter for me to write, so if you could let me know if you liked a particular part, that would be really nice of you...But, you know what we need now? I think we need a Pap POV. How about you guys?
> 
> Also, input on the pictures! Love them? Hate them? Don't care?
> 
> If You Give a Mouse a Cookie was written by Laura J and Felicia Bond. Here's the citation for it:  
> Numeroff, Laura J, and Felicia Bond. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. , 1985. Print.
> 
> Artwork inspired by this Chapter:
> 
>   
>  Sleeping in Handcuffs (Expectations vs Reality) by peanutbutter-n-meli  
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	111. Mini Chapter: Licked Once, Twice Shy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Happy Fourth of July (if you're American) and happy explosion, hot dog eating festival for everyone else!!
> 
> We have a new piece of artwork from peanutbutter-n-meli [Sleeping in Handcuffs (Expectations vs Reality)](http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/post/162530945595/peanutbutter-n-meli-some-sketches-when-i-think) It's cute and funny and definitely worth a click. It also has been added to the previous chapter so if you can't see it via tumblr, you can see it there and lavish praise upon her. 
> 
> We also have artwork by Frankpanioncube that is visible on Chapter 90: Let's talk about sex! You can check out her tumblr [here](http://frankpanioncube.tumblr.com/) Seriously! Go check out her tumblr for amazing recipes and Undertale stories!!
> 
> Enjoy this Pap POV and remember - fireworks come and go, but appendages don't. Stay safe!

Papyrus awoke from probably one of the oddest dreams he had in a while. He dreamt that he had handcuffed you both together, forcing you to take him back to your place. Of course, then you slept together. That was probably the most surreal part of it all. He didn’t usually fall asleep within a dream. Still, he should probably check his phone. His alarm didn’t go off. He attempted to stretch only for his right arm to lock up.

That was odd. He knew he could stretch further than that. He went to try again only to notice that his sheets were a different color. These were brown sheets. He remembered distinctively changing his sheets to white the other day. After he bleached them of course. He looked down and paused. 

There you were, cradled in his arms, asleep to the world. Ah. Apparently, last night was not so much a dream as it was the actual events of the night before. Huh. “Human, are you awake?” he asked. He really should be getting up. He was greeted with a soft snore and if he had eyes he would roll them. So much for getting up on time. Might as well settle in. He adjusted the pillow and blinked in surprise as a small dinner mint fell out of the pillow sheet. Was storing small candies under pillows something that humans did regularly or were you just kind of an odd hoarder of sweet snacks? He placed the candy aside and resumed settling in. 

Well, if you weren’t going to be getting up anytime soon, perhaps this would be a good a time as any to actually think about what his next actions would be. Before you started yelling at him for licking you, that is. God, he didn't even want to dwell on that...

~~~~~

"You're being a stickler for protocol, aren't ya? Fair enough." 

Papyrus allowed his cool demeanor to falter slightly after you shut your eyes. Whew. He’s not sure how people could try to look cool with a tongue but he’d say he managed fairly well. He ran it against the inner part of his skull, testing its flexibility and level of control just to be sure. It would be rather embarrassing if he was mid lick and his tongue evaporated and he bit you instead. You’d probably be pretty mad if that happened. 

Right! Onto the challenge. He had seen a video on this. He had taken notes! Unfortunately, he didn’t have his notepad but he had a photographic memory when it came to this these type of things. The human in the video targeted his partner’s neck. He eyed your bare neck and followed it down to your chest and rest of your body that was above the covers. The human in the video had also used his tongue in other places but, uh, those were not appropriate at the moment. Not just at this moment. At all. With you. Wow, it’s rather warm under these blankets.

You were shorter than him. He extended a gloved hand and lifted your chin to get a better look. Yes. So far so good. He remembered the last time he was this interested in your neck, it had a nasty bruise and he was attempting to heal it. It had almost looked like a bite mark but he had brushed that notion aside. Who would have bitten you? Humans didn’t bite other humans unless they were vampires and he was fairly certain vampires did not exist. Or, at least, he was pretty sure they didn’t. He should probably put some garlic outside your bedroom just to be safe. Your neck was awfully delicate after all, and he could make out the outline of your jugular as you swallowed. 

Despite the fact that you both had dance class and he knew you sweated, you didn’t smell too bad. You smelled like, well, a slightly sweatier you. And…something else. There was a different scent on you. It was incredibly faint but it was there. It wasn’t you, yet it was still a familiar scent but for the life of him, he couldn’t place it. He was, however, trying to fight down the rising urge to leave a mark of his own. He ran his newly formed tongue along his teeth. It would easy, so easy. He’d be gentle. You wouldn’t even cry out. 

He blinked. You wouldn’t cry out because he was NOT going to do that. Right, none of…whatever THAT was. He still eyed your neck eagerly. Well, you had asked for this. He pressed his tongue against the base of your neck and dragged it upwards toward your mandible. He didn’t expect to find much excitement in this yet he was practically savoring the taste of you. This, this was delightful. He could already hear you crying out and his bones tingled at the sound. 

Wait. You weren’t supposed to cry out. Oh God. Had he bitten you after all? He pulled away quickly to see you flushed and shocked, but thankfully with unbroken skin. “Did I do it wrong?” 

“Yes! Oh my god! Don’t lick there!” You gasped, burying your face into your hands. 

“Oh wow, I’m sorry. I did not realize that it was a bad place!” He could have sworn the woman in the video had liked the action.

“Let’s-let’s just turn off the light and go to bed!” You squeaked. 

Papyrus’ shoulders sagged but did not protest further. He reached over and turned off your light. He’d have to rewatch that video. He probably shouldn’t have compared you to the woman in the video even though she kinda did look like you. That wasn’t right. Not all humans looked the same. You were definitely unique in his mind. 

“Ow, ow,” you whined. He glanced back at you. You had tried to lie down but your arm looked like it was bent painfully. 

“One moment, let me try,” He tried to adjust his own arm only to wince. Wow, despite how flexible he was, there was no way he was going to manage that position. “That doesn’t feel very good.” 

“Your limbs don’t detach at all, do they?” You asked. 

Somehow, that question irked him. Although he certainly thought you were unique, perhaps you just saw him as any other skeleton. “No they do not! I am a Monster soldier, not a toy soldier,” Papyrus snapped back before he could catch himself. You didn’t answer right away. Papyrus felt guilty and opened his mouth to apologize.

“Sorry, sorry. Dumb question.” 

Or…you could apologize? “That’s alright,” he assured you, caught off guard.

You groaned. “The only positions that will work will be on our back-“

Papyrus interrupted. “You can get colds far easier that way.” More openings were open to the air…that made sense? “How about our stomachs?” he suggested.

“Boobs make that position uncomfortable after a bit.” Ah yes. Boobs. He wisely kept his jaw shut. The less he said about that, the better for both of you. He heard you sigh. “Which only leaves facing each other.” 

He swallowed with his non existent throat. He racked his skull but could not come up with anything else other than you lying on top of him or vice versa and that was far more invasive than having to face each other. “Yes, that does seem like the only compromise here.” You wiggled until you faced him and he grinned pleasantly at you, prompting you to smile slightly too. 

“Right. Okay, let me just, there.” To his surprise, you scooted until you were nestled against his chest.

“O-oh!” Your behavior was definitely throwing him for a loop. He didn’t think involved women acted like this. “You’re rather close! I thought-“ He didn’t know what he thought to be honest.

Your eyes widened. “Sorry, I just thought this is what we were doing.” You made a motion to pull away.

“No!” He blurted out, grabbing your flimsy top before he could stop himself. 

“No?” You asked, your expression now confused.

Whelp. This just got more weird. He released your top. He didn't want to rip this one too. “No, no, it’s alright. I wasn’t expecting this is all.” That was the honest truth. You looked at him quizzically before lying your head against his chest. He allowed himself a sigh. What was he doing? This wasn’t right. You were…He became acutely aware that your free hand which had lay flat against his chest slowly ran along his chest and he resisted the urge to shiver. There was something soothing about you touching him like this. It felt natural in some strange way.

“Huh, you were right,” he heard you mumble.

“Yes…about what?”

“Skeletons are pretty cuddly.” Oh no! THIS was cuddling?! This was way beyond the stage of normal friendship. Friends didn’t cuddle, did they? Sometimes Undyne and him would wrestle and she’d put him in a headlock and that would definitely halt movement. Would that count? Maybe. “Your heartbeat is increasing, Papyrus. Are you okay?”

“Oh, yes. Absolutely, just, I was imagining all the times Undyne and I cuddled.” 

You stopped stroking his chest and looked at absolutely bewildered. “You and Undyne CUDDLED?” 

“When she put me in a headlock, yes.” You paused before breaking into laughter. 

“Oh my God, Papyrus! Sure, sure, alright, that works for me,” you chuckled, pressing yourself against him, your hand now remaining stationary against his chest. “Don’t put me in a headlock, okay?”

“Not without proper training first,” he assured you, much more comfortable as he patted you affectionately.

~~~~~~ 

You stirred slightly during his ministrations, breaking him from his thoughts. He allowed himself a moment of elation. Perhaps you would wake up…or, just press yourself against him tighter. This was a setback. A welcome one though. He could feel himself relaxing. This was actually quite nice. He didn’t normally find lying in bed all that nice but at the moment, he was surprisingly enjoying the experience.

He should probably text Undyne to see how the safe word thing was going. Training would be slightly more difficult if you were attached to him still by Monday, after all. He went to grab his phone, only to accidentally touch yours as well. He picked up both phones. You had a message. It displayed itself before he had a chance to look away. 

“Hey babe, I hope you’re good. I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about you. I hope he’s not got his hands all over you. Let me know how it goes.”

Something twitched inside of him. Not got his hands on you, eh? Papyrus felt himself tighten his hold on you before he caught himself. That wasn’t very mature. He loosened his hold only to feel you cling even tighter to him. He couldn’t help but smile smugly at the unconscious action, his soul beating rather loudly. He was impressed it did not wake you up. This was still mostly relaxing.

Mostly. Having seen that text, there was something small nagging him. And he couldn’t quite place what it was. He shifted you slightly and if he had eyebrows, he would have raised one of them. The change in position had placed your chest pressed against his, your heart beating right over his. The impulse to do, well, something was even stronger now. Did it involve you? It must be. He had never had this unknown desire with anyone else. He felt his chest swell. It was an unnerving sensation. 

Text Undyne. He shifted you slightly off of him, the urge dropping the moment your chests were not connected. He pulled out his phone and tapped Undyne a quick message. “Hello Undyne! Any luck with the safe word?” 

He went to place the phone down when no immediate response was received when he paused. You had said a particular word yesterday. What was it? Kink? Yes. That was it. He opened up his phone’s search engine and typed in kink. The first definition popped up. “A sharp twist in something that is normally straight,” he read. Well, that was the definition he was familiar with. There was another one. “A stiffness in the neck/back.” He blinked. Did this mean you were trying to say you were sore? He switched his phone to his bound hand, allowing his free hand to gently rub behind your neck. All you had to do was tell him. You purred happily and nestled closer to him. 

Your phone buzzed with a phone call. He expected you to wake up and to his dismay, you didn’t. He spotted the contact and sighed. Him. He let it go to voicemail. It called again. You stirred a bit more at that. He let it go to voicemail. Again. He continued to stroke you, a smile creeping onto his skull. That should have been enough to tell him that you were a-“Really?” he managed. The last thing he wanted was you to wake up to him. Couldn’t he just have one morning with you, albeit forced and uncomfortable?

The fourth time the phone rang, he answered it. “Good morning, she's sleeping at the moment. Can I take a message?”

“Yeah, yeah you can. Are you both still attached?” 

“Yes.”

“What are you doing?”

Papyrus glanced at you. “Well, at the moment, I’m giving her a neck massage. She said she had a kink last night.” 

“No. I mean, ugh,” Jeremy sounded irritated, “What are you doing about being attached?!” 

“Oh. I’m still working on it.” 

“Not hard enough, clearly. Do you know how to remove them?”

“Well…” He most certainly did. 

“Yes or no?” 

“…Yes.” He admitted.

“Fine. Then do it.”

Papyrus cleared his throat. “It’s kinda complicated.” 

“I don’t think I made myself clear. I want those handcuffs off of her by this afternoon. So I don’t care what you have to do, but get those cuffs the fuck off my date.” 

Papyrus swallowed. He felt like he should tell him that in order to remove them now, you would have to orgasm. Either by his hand or your own. Perhaps, Jeremy wouldn’t be so hurried to have him remove the handcuffs if he knew it would involve sexual acts. He opened his mouth to tell him. 

“Are you mute, you moron? I want it done. Do you understand?” Jeremy demanded.

Papyrus’ words died in his throat. He steadied himself. “Yes, I understand.” 

“Good. Bye.” The phone call disconnected and he placed the phone down. 

So, that just happened. Papyrus looked back at his phone. He swallowed, regarding your sleeping form on his chest. You looked so peaceful, so content to just lie there and he so desperately wanted you both to just stay like this. He continued to rub your neck. Maybe he should call him back. Maybe he would change his mind if he knew it involved bringing you to climax? Maybe. Maybe not. He probably did care. But Papyrus didn't. 

Well, no. He cared about you. Would you want to do this? You seemed more than happy to try anything to escape last night. 

You snuggled closer, your warm chest pressing against his abdomen. You felt so nice. He watched you take a deep breath, your chest heaving as you did so. Your breasts pressed against your thin shirt, not leaving much to the imagination. Not that he needed to imagine much after last night. He not only had seen them, he had touched them as well. In fact, his whole hand managed to grab one. That was sorta awkward. These were not small chest pieces you had. It would probably take two hands to grab both of them. They were soft and squishy and all his at the moment.

Well, not exactly. They weren't his at all. Still, he allowed his free hand to rub softly against your clavicle above your chest, enjoying the slight shiver his actions prompted, feeling your nipples start to perk up at the action. 

Wait...did this feel good to you? Papyrus’ spare hand continued its travel along your neck, watching you press into the apparently welcome touches. His hand dipped lower innocently enough, just brushing the top of your chest. He couldn't help but shiver himself as his phalanges could pick up the softness at the start of your breasts. Perhaps he could..assist you like he had previously, getting you to unconsciously ebb toward sexual release.

No. His hand retracted and returned to the back of your neck. That was just a bad idea all around. Circumstances had been different. Vastly different. For now, you appeared quite comfortable and he was all too happy to keep it that way. He allowed you to nestle closer and petted decisively, determination setting upon his skull. 

The Great Papyrus would have you kink free in no time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to wake up kink free. ;)
> 
> There's a clue in here to explain Pap's behavior with reader. If you spot it, give yourself a cookie! And a hotdog. A hotdog cookie. 
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	112. Morning Routines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saturday events being posted on a Saturday.
> 
> I have no other comments for this. Enjoy this routine of morning events that may or may not be very similar to your own. Minus the skeleton.

You woke up with a groan as the emergence of sunlight from your window drove you to stir. Christ, you did not want to get up. Did you have work? No, you didn’t. Good. You were way too comfortable and cozy to even consider getting up at this moment, despite what the sun insisted otherwise. More comfortable than normal, you sleepily considered, nestling your head into your really warm pillow. Your pillow had a soothing heartbeat to it and you found yourself almost lulled back to sleep, enjoying the feeling of your back being stroked. Except you remembered that pillows don’t have heartbeats. Nor did they pet you.

You lifted your head up and found Papyrus watching you calmly. Huh. You were surprisingly not as fazed as you thought you would be by this discovery. You wondered why he was in your bed until the clink of handcuffs reminded you. Oh yeah. How many more times was this skeleton going to spend the night at your place before you started charging him rent? He appeared to have been awake for a while judging by how alert he was despite the calmness. “Uh, hey there.” you greeted with a chuckle. 

He smiled. “Good Morning to you, too. I was wondering when you would wake up.” Yup, he had been up for awhile. 

“How long have you been awake?” You asked with a yawn.

He glanced at his phone. “Hmm, two hours, forty-five minutes and thirty-two seconds.”

“Oops, sorry.” You sat up and attempted to stretch only for your arms to lock up before you could due to the handcuffs. Papyrus nodded understandingly.

“Yes, stretching is somewhat difficult with the handcuffs on. I tried earlier.”

You caught sight of your bathroom door and you perked up. “We could take a shower? That’ll fix it.”

He lit up. “That’s a great idea. You can go first.”

“Thanks, I’ll-uh...wait.” The memories from last night blared loud and clear and Papyrus blanched at the suggestion. You coughed. “I guess we’ll have to skip the shower for now.”

“Understandably so.”

You winced. “Although I still have to use the restroom.” 

“…”

“Papyrus?” You asked. He was awfully quiet. 

“Are you sure you have to?” He asked hopefully.

“Yes. Most humans do when they wake up.” Well, this was now officially the most cringeworthy thing that had happened to you in a long time. 

“I see.”

Oh man, how badly did you wish you were a man right then and there. You could just whip out your dick and pee in a bottle or something. Unfortunately, you and Papyrus instead walked into the restroom and stared at the toilet. You debated just peeing yourself right then and there but you really did not want a repeat of that time you lost your pants in college. “So, I’m going to pull down my pants and sit down,” you began.

“I will try to give you some privacy.”

He turned in the opposite direction and you carefully pulled down your pants with your free hand. Christ. This was so goddamn awful. You sat on the toilet and attempted to relax. Just pee and be done with it quickly. Your body unclenched and you started to sigh.

“So! Are you done?”

You immediately seized up at the words. “What? No. I haven’t started yet.”

Papyrus shrugged. “Can I do anything to help?”

You sighed. “Just, don’t say anything. I kind of have a shy bladder.”

“Of course!” 

“Thank you.” He remained silent and you eased into your muscles relaxing. Now like you’ve done every morning ever, just pee and get it over with. You closed your eyes when your body calmed down and began.

“Would you like me to sing to your bladder to make it less shy?” 

“Goddammit, Papyrus!” You squealed. At this rate, you wouldn’t pee for days. You spotted the shower next to you. It was close enough he could probably go in there. “Papyrus, go in the shower and close the curtains.”

The skeleton regarded the shower. “That’s a great idea!” He stepped into the shower and you let out the breath you were holding. Maybe now you could-

The shower turned on. “Are you taking a shower?” You asked incredulously. 

“That’s not what you wanted?” You heard him ask. On second thought, the sound of the water would mask your tinkling so maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea that you could take credit for. 

“Actually, that’s fine. Just, don’t talk okay?” You asked.

“Fair enough.” 

You felt ridiculous for even asking as the water continued to run. You had been naked in front of quite a few people in your life yet this was easily turning into one of the most stressful situations ever. And you still had your shirt on. Just, just go. You grabbed a magazine near the toilet and read it as you started to finally go.

Papyrus started to hum.

You silently screamed into the magazine.

~~~~~

“You’re very fast at eliminating waste!” Papyrus praised.

“You will not say a word about that to anyone,” You threatened. 

“What?”

“Being in the restroom with me while…you know,” your voice trailed off as you watched the skeleton wring a glove dry.

“Ah, yes, as long as you don’t mind that I used up the rest of your palm olive body wash.”

“I was wondering why you smelled like that,” you admitted, handing him a towel.

“You didn’t think it was my natural body odor?” 

“No. Not really.” He quickly finished drying himself and hung the towel to dry. He followed you out to the bedroom once more.

“Do you have more of a morning routine you would like me to be present for? Perhaps the taking of vitamins for strong bones?” He inquired.

“No. Wait. Yes. Actually. Shit, I should take my birth control. ” You quickly fished out the small package from your cluttered nightstand. 

“You should organize that,” Papyrus mumbled.

“Shush. I like this night stand the way it is.” You pulled out one of the pills which he looked at curiously.

“How does this pill control birth? It seems rather small?”

“It’s medicine you take to prevent pregnancy.”

Papyrus paused. “How?” 

You shrugged. “Basically it makes you think your body is pregnant by supplying a hormones that prevent you from ovulating.” You glanced at the package. “Shit, I don’t have any more refills. I need to ask my mom when she gets back to call me in more.” You tried to walk away but he quickly pulled you back. You looked up in alarm at the sudden move. 

He stared at you in shock. “ARE YOU GOING TO BE A MOM?!” 

“What?!”

“ARE YOU PREGNANT?” He exclaimed incredulously.

“WHAT?! NO! IT MAKES THE BODY THINK IT’S PREGNANT!!” 

He sighed and released you. “Oh. Well that’s not nice of you to trick your body like that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you smirked. Your phone rang and you glanced at the caller ID. You froze. “Shit.”

“Language.”

“It’s my parents,” you whispered. 

Papyrus plucked your phone from your nightstand with a heartening grin. “No need to whisper. They won’t hear you until you answer it. See, like this.” He demonstrated by answering the phone. “Hel-“

You slapped the phone out of his hand with a horrified gasp. It hit the ground with a thud. You looked at Papyrus. “You, idiot!” 

“Hello? Hun? Are you there?” You heard your mom’s voice call from the phone. You knelt down and anxiously picked up the phone. Papyrus went to open his mouth to say something but you shoved him backwards. Only realizing as he tripped onto your bed that you were still attached and you were jerked after him.

“Hugh!” You groaned, landing against his hard bones. He tried to say something once more but this time you pushed a pillow over his teeth. “He-hey mom!” You greeted.

“Hi to you as well, everything alright?” 

“Yeah, uh, just, moving some furniture!” You laughed awkwardly. Papyrus removed the pillow, rolling his sockets but said nothing. 

“To clean underneath it, I hope?”

“Stop moving!” You hissed as Papyrus tried to sit up. You were a tangle of limbs and he only succeeded in jostling you against him. 

“Wait, are you moving apartments again?”

You cleared your throat. “What? No, no. I’m not!”

“Is someone else there?” 

“No, I’m just talking to a really stubborn chair,” you muttered. The Monster looked slightly uncomfortable as you tried to keep it cool.

“Well, that’s weird. Anyway, oh, your father says hi!”

“Hi, dad!”

"Lori says hi! He says hi.”

“Tell him I say hi again.” 

“She says hi again. He says hi again.” 

You could go on with this cycle but Papyrus shuddered, slamming a hand over his own mouth. You mouthed a “What are you doing?” at him.

He gestured down and you looked down. You had planted your knee square against his pelvis. You pulled it off as quickly as you could and he appeared relieved. Great. Way to knee your ex in his nonexistent testicles. 

“Anyway! Aren’t you excited? We’ll be home in less than a month!” Your mom called out. 

“Yes! Ha, absolutely!” 

There was a pause on the other end. “Seriously, who is with you right now?” Your mom asked. 

“Nobody, there’s no one here,” you lied.

“Everyone was young once, hun. Is he good looking?”

You glanced at Papyrus who pretended not to listen. You just kicked him in the nuts. It couldn’t hurt to be nice about him. “Sure.”

“Oh shit. He’s really ugly, isn’t he?” Papyrus choked.

You coughed. “No, no. Mom. He’s actually really hot.” 

“Dad says you need to be careful about those beer goggles.”

“No, I’m serious. He’s handsome and he’s in shape and he’s got a great smile and uh a job?” You asked, glancing at the skeleton. Papyrus nodded, “Yeah, a job.” 

“Alright, alright, alright. We believe you. We’re just glad to hear you’re doing okay. We wish we could just hug you!!” 

You sat down and sighed. “I wish I could hug you too. Thank you.” You leaned into your pillow drawing a hand around your stomach. You could almost feel the lovin’. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Almost sounded like an echo. Probably should end the call. “I’ll catch you guys later. Bye.” 

“Bye!” You disconnected the phone and smiled slightly.

“Your parents seem nice. Slightly odd, but nice,” Papyrus mused.

“Hmm, yeah,” you agreed, leaning against your hard pillow.

Hold up. You didn’t own hard pillows. Just soft fluffy ones. You rolled your head back to see Papyrus waiting patiently for you to get off. Or stay. You weren’t sure. He seemed quite content, his arms around your waist.

“Pap?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you hugging me?”

“Well, you said you wanted a hug?”

“Oh. Yeah. From my parents.”

“Oops daisy!” He made a motion to pull away but you held fast.

“I-I didn’t say stop,” you admitted. He hugged you for another 5 seconds before you finally wriggled free. “Alright, I’m good now.”

“As you wish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's your morning routine like? Brush teeth? Take pills? Pee in silence while your ex is singing in the shower?
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	113. Safeword

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title explains all, time for some word guessing.
> 
> PS, Life has been insanely busy the last few days so if I haven't responded to anyone yet, I promise I will be the end of the week. But seriously thank you for your messages and comments. They really help push me to making more chapters like this one... ;)

“Perhaps we could try to guess the safeword.”

“That’s…uh, not a bad idea,” you admitted as you put away a plate. You had ran the dishwasher the night before and now you had a chance to finally unload it. A task that was made easier by having a tall companion to put the glassware on the top shelves. You handed Papyrus a glass that he stashed in another cupboard. “What did you have in mind?” You had been wondering which of you were going to be bringing it up first. 

Papyrus shrugged. “I was hoping that you had some words in mind. I have been informed that no isn't always the safe word.”

“Well, sorta. Generally it’s a word that means stop and it’s even better if it can kill the mood all together.”

“Hmm. This might be slightly more difficult than I thought. I'm not used to killing the mood,” Papyrus admitted.

You twitched. “Well now you’re fucking bragging,” you muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re bragging!” You barked at him.

He looked startled. “I don’t, how is this bragging?”

You looked him dead in the sockets. “You’re telling me you’ve **NEVER** said anything that ruined a sexy time?”

“No. I mean, I have not said anything to ruin a sexy time." He glanced at you. " Have you?”

You felt yourself turned red. “Uh, no.” An awkward silence followed where you did not look at him.

“…Want to talk about it?” He offered.

“No.” You felt yourself scowl. He shrugged 

“Well you don’t have to, so let’s-“

“FINE!” You shouted, throwing your hands up as high as you could until the chain linking you both became taut and halted your movement. You ran your free hand through your hair as you recalled the memory. “One time, there was this guy and I was at his place and we were on the bed and uh he was going down on me.”

Papyrus held up a hand. “I know I’m going to regret asking this, but when you say going down…?”

“He was doing oral sex.”

“Right. Carry on.”

You felt yourself blush even harder, really wincing from the memory. “Well, uh, he was down there and he was really into dirty talk and he told me to tell him how my pussy was going to be for him and…” Jesus Christ, girl, you needed to stop talking, “And the only word I could think of was ‘moist’.” He cringed. Your face felt like it was on fire as you babbled. “I never saw a boner go flat that quickly.”

“Lori.”

“I could have said wet or sopping.”

“Lori.”

“Anything but moist.”

“Lori.” 

“God, it was like watching a balloon deflate.”

“Lori!”

You realized Papyrus was shaking you by your shoulders. “Huh? What?”

“You were having flashbacks.”

“Oh man, really?” You shook your head, snapping out of it. “But uh, point remains, yeah, unsexy safewords exist.”

“Like…uh milk?” He tried, eyeing your fridge.

You made a face. “Ooh, that’s a good one. If we’re going to do food, how about granola?”

Papyrus shook his head. “No, being healthy is very attractive.”

“Fine. Mustard.”

“Bleh. Let’s add ketchup to that list.”

“I should be making a list?”

“It seems the most organized way to keep track of words we have used and have not used.”

“Good idea. I’ve got some on my coffee table.” You both walked back to the living room where you grabbed some paper. He handed you a pen he fished out from the couch cushions. You began to write down the words so far. “What else?”

“Smorgasbord?”

You shook your head. “That would be too long to say. You’d never get that word out of your mouth in time.”

Papyrus chuckled. “Clearly, you jest. I realize sex can be rather physically demanding but are you really trying to suggest that you would be so out of breath that you couldn’t utter a three syllable word?”

“Or something else gets put in your mouth before then,” you shrugged, a nostalgic smile appearing on your face.

“What do you mean, something-?” Papyrus’ face colored and he shot you an irritated look. “Really?”

“Hehehe.”

“Ugh. You and Sans.” You froze as he continued. “You both think it’s perfectly acceptable to eat food on the bed. I hope at least if he sleeps with someone that they will teach him better bed habits! Nobody thinks about the crumbs!" You relaxed. Slightly.

“I hadn’t thought about that,” you answered honestly. Seriously, you really hadn’t considered eating during sex. And you knew for a fact that you should keep what you really meant to yourself and be grateful he didn't ask more questions. “So, uh, more gross words?”

“Masticate.” You winced.

“That sounds painful.”

“It does, doesn’t it? Oh! Add curdle to it too.”

Yup, you never had a wet dream to the word curdle before. You added it to the list. “Nugget?” He nodded. “Ooze?”

“Yes. Slime works too.”

You both studied the list. “Do you think any of those are them?” He asked.

You shook your head. “I don’t think so. I mean, we’ve been saying them as we write them so if they were correct, the cuffs would open.”

“Maybe…we have to say them in a certain way.”

“What do you mean?”

He hesitated before proceeding, as if choosing his words carefully. “Maybe we have to say them…passionately.”

You stared at him. “What?”

“Well, these are apparently…romantic handcuffs so maybe even the safe word has to be said…in that way?”

You were speechless. Literally, you had no idea what to even say to that idea. “That…that is a terrible idea, I think” you finally managed.

“So is making handcuffs that can’t be unlocked without an orgasm,” Papyrus argued.

“You have a point.” You sighed. “Alright, how do we do this?”

Now it was his turn to look confused. “What do you mean?”

“Are we going to start nice and sweet or get right to down and dirty?” You asked.

“Excuse me?!”

“I mean,” you gestured to the list, “Are we going to say the words sweetly and nicely or are we going to say them like we’re fucking?”

“I-I don’t, both? I don’t know what you're talking about,” Papyrus mumbled.

“Just, uh, sweetly is like this.” You lowered your voice slightly, batting your eyelids. “I just love eating mustard with you,” you whispered. He just gawked at you. You cleared your throat. “That slime makes you so handsome.”

He remained silent. You jabbed him in the chest. “C’mon, help me out.”

“Right…right. Yes.” He cleared his throat and attempted to fix you with a suave smoldering look. “I love how you curdle when we cuddle.”

“Oh God, that was terrible,” you gagged, feeling your resolve crumbling.

“Wait! I got another one.” He cleared his throat and drew you close. “I find you…incredibly nuggety.”

That was better? You had to bite your tongue not to cringe and laugh. “Masticate me!” You moaned breathlessly, opting for the down and dirty approach.

He picked up the tone and proceeded…appropriately? “Let me feel you ooze,” he groaned, his free hand slipping down your back.

Holy crap, it was really hard to keep it together. You desperately wanted to pull away and hide in the closet. “Your ketchup is so hot in me!” You gasped, pulling him so your pelvis crashed into his.

He doubled down, pressing you against the side of the couch, hips grinding against hips. “You’re going to be crying out for a smorgasboard by the time we’re through,” he growled.

Fuck it. Go for the gold. “Spray your moist milk all over me!” You cried, thrusting your chest against him.

Papyrus pulled away without a word, his expression completely blank. You watched as he turned toward your couch. “Pap?” You asked.

He buried his head in your cushion and started shrieking.

You just broke the skeleton.

You waited for him to come up for air. He didn’t.

You should probably say something. You poked him. “Papyrus, are you okay?” He finally pulled up and you realized he was laughing so hard, tears leaked from his socket.

“That-that was sooo terrible!!” He cackled, holding his chest.

You snorted before throwing your head back as well, laughing. “Oh my God!! I know! Jesus Christ! You weren’t backing down though!”

“Nyeh heh heh,” Papyrus chuckled, wiping the tears away with his free hand. “Neither did you. How impressively awful!”

It was only after a few boisterous laughs and giggles that you both finally calmed down. You watched him, flushed with laughter. “So since those safewords didn't work...still interested in learning how to make a pizza?” You offered, gesturing to the kitchen.

“Absolutely!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you have special safewords of your own and with any luck, they're just as awful as these. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Moist.
> 
>  
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	114. How to Make a Pizza (Without Making It Weird)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tension can only get so high until someone snaps. :) Until then, there's pizza.
> 
> Feeling like Jeremy needs a little karma in his life? Go check out frankcompanioncube's [short story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11543595) for some deliciously awful retribution.

“Oh no! No! No! That’s not what I meant when I said we need to feed the yeast!” You hollered, yanking away the fish flakes you didn’t know you even owned before he could pour them into the yeast mixture you had stirred together.

“No?”

“Yeast wants sugar, not fish food.”

“Really? I didn’t even hear it ask for it.”

“It’s a chemistry thing.”

“Educational cooking!”

Papyrus fed sugar to the yeast and set it aside while you pulled out the flour.

“We’ll need to wait a few minutes for it to eat enough before we start putting flour in.”

“I can be incredibly patient.”

“Good. It gives us a chance to find the pizza tray and the rolling pin!”

Sure enough, by the time you guys had gathered the ingredients – there was a lot of bumping into and navigating around one another in your tiny kitchen, about ten minutes had passed. You grabbed the bag of flour. “Now, we add the flour. Just a little bit –ooF!” You coughed as you pulled open the bag, sending flour everywhere, all over you and your friend.

“Pffftttt,” Papyrus stuck out his tongue, much to your surprise.

“Hey! You did your tongue again!” You pointed out, trying to shake flour out of your hair.

“Nyeh heh, yes, I am giving you a raspberry. And not the delicious kind. The one that suggests disappointment.” You raspberried him back, dumping and mixing the flour in with the yeast mixture. “Very mature.”

“I am so mature!” You argued, blowing another raspberry at him.

“Clearly.” He retracted his but watched in mild bemusement as you continued to stick out yours. “Are you going to put yours away?”

“Why? Afraid I’ll lick your tongue if I don’t?”

“If you want to French me, you’re going to have to clean the flour off your tongue first,” Papyrus shook his head.

The comment caught you off guard and you drew in your tongue immediately. “Hold up, what?”

Papyrus pointed to his tongue. “Frenching. Kissing with tongues.”

“Did your dating handbook tell you that?” 

“No, personal research,” he explained. He eyed you curiously. “Are you unfamiliar with the term?”

“Oh, uh, I know what it is, just, I don’t have much experience with that.” To be honest, except for the times with Sans where he had initiated it, you had minimal experience with French kissing.

“Oh, would you like to practice?”

You felt yourself turned bright red. “Uh, isn’t that what Mettaton is for?”

Papyrus’ tongue ran along his teeth thoughtfully. “You really think so?”

You nodded. “Does he have a tongue?”

“Oh yes,” he admitted, his bones dusting orange. You tried be casual about it, but couldn’t help but try to imagine Papyrus and Mettaton lip locked. Instead, you thought of them tongue wrestling. You giggled at that.

Papyrus cleared his throat. “Speaking of our special friends, how are things going with Jeremy?”

You were surprised to hear the skeleton actually say his name and you shot him a slightly bewildered smile. “Look at you!”

He glanced at himself. “Yes. I’m pretty fantastic.”

“I mean, well, yeah, you are. But I mean, saying his name. That’s a pretty good step for you. You’d normally go with human.”

“Oh. He and I have been talking a lot lately it seems.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Really? I didn’t know you guys were talking outside of class.” Papyrus and Jeremy did seem to be on better terms but it did strike you as slightly off that they would actually talk outside of class. Perhaps laundry really was the ultimate peace mediator. Politicians should take note. World peace was only a color safe bleach away.

He chuckled dryly. “Not quite. Although, speaking of which. He called this morning.”

“Really? I didn’t hear a thing.”

“He called about four times. I picked up on the fourth.”

You paused as you cleared the counter. Your date called four times? “Like, in an hour?” You asked.

“A minute.”

You blanched. “That’s…weird. Why didn’t I wake up?”

“You were rather comfortable,” you could hear him muse incredibly close to you.

His skull was so close to your head that you swear you could feel his breath on your neck. “Holy shit!” You gasped, jumping up slightly and turning to face him.

“What?” He asked, looking genuinely confused.

“You’re really close!” You pointed out. Why was he so close?! You resisted the urge to shiver despite the goosebumps.

He looked at you as if you had told him skeletons were made of bones. He lifted his bound arm and rattled it for emphasis. “I’m not sure but do you remember that we are attached?” He asked in all seriousness.

Dumbass. You laughed weakly. “Ah, ha. Yeah. Whoops. I forgot.” He placed a hand on your forehead.

“Are you feeling alright? Perhaps you need a glass of water?” He offered.

You shook your head, trying to push down the tittering your heart was doing at his touch. “I’m good. Totally good.” He removed his hand and turned his attention back to the ball of dough that was resting.

Of course he was going to be close to you. You were handcuffed to each other! You eyed him but he seemed far more interested in your culinary lesson than your physical assets. You were reading too much into this. Calm down.

“What did he say?” You asked.

“Who?” The skeleton prompted, pulling at the edges of the dough ball.

“Jeremy.”

Papyrus pulled a bit rougher on the dough but thankfully it did not tear. “He asked if we had separated yet.”

“HA!” You laughed, sprinkling some flour over the dough.

Papyrus cleared his throat. “He was very concerned that you would not be able to meet him for your date this afternoon.”

“Oh shit. The apple cider tasting!” You tapped your chin thoughtfully. “I guess you’ll just have to come with us then until Undyne calls with the safeword.”

“Actually,” Papyrus interrupted, “I think he’d rather this be a couple’s only get together.”

You shrugged. “Tough luck. Here, go ahead and flour up the rolling pin so the dough doesn’t stick.”

Papyrus began to coat the pin with flour. “He asked that we do whatever was necessary,” he nonchalantly mentioned.

“Well, that’s just-“ His words suddenly clicked and you stopped talking. Papyrus continued to pat flour on the wooden kitchen tool. “Papyrus, did you tell him?”

“No.”

You bit your lip. You hardly imagined Jeremy would be so enthusiastic if he knew the circumstances concerning the handcuffs. “Uh, did you tell Mettaton?”

He didn’t answer right away. You swallowed and tried not to look too interested in the response. If Mettaton knew, well, did this change anything? Christ. The prospect of Mettaton knowing and possibly being okay with that unnerved you. “No. He may have overheard, but I did not tell him,” Papyrus explained.

You sighed. It did not change anything. “Yeah, well, I guess if we don’t hear from Alphys, I’ll just have to reschedule with Jeremy.” You looked at the rolling pin. “Pap, you can stop putting flour on the rolling pin.”

“Right! How did I do?”

The whole pin was painted white. You couldn’t argue that he didn’t follow instructions. “Great!” He beamed. “Now, we’re going to roll out the dough to make a circle!”

He started to roll and you felt yourself relax until the glimmer of orange caught your eye. He still had his tongue. “Hey, uh Papyrus, why do you still have your tongue?” You couldn’t help but ask.

Had he been serious about that Frenching thing? He beamed even brighter at you. “I intend to try out the taste buds!” He gloated.

Right. You were being weird. This was just a cooking lesson. You were making it weird. Stop making it weird. This was a friendly cooking lesson in which you were handcuffed to your student. Yes. No need to make it weird. You came back as you realized the dough was starting to stick to the counter and pin.

“Wait, wait! I gotta add more flour!” You threw another handful of flour at the pin, sending a small white poof cloud up in the air, “See? Like that.”

“I see. I see. Let me try.” Papyrus grabbed a large handful of flour and slapped it against the pin so ferociously that a small white tornado flew back at you both.

You wiped the flour out of your face. “Oh my God, you dork. That’s way too hard.”

Papyrus patted the flour off his shirt. “No it wasn’t. This was more than acceptable! We are cooking passionately, are we not?”

You went to come up with a rebuttal but stopped. Passionately, eh? A slow smile crept onto your face. “Alright, fair enough. Go ahead and hand me that can of tomato sauce and I’ll break it open with my bare hands!” You bragged.

Papyrus did not appear impressed. “You're really going to use canned tomato sauce?”

You twitched. “What's wrong with canned sauce?” 

“Well, I thought this was a cooking demonstration but you do seem to be a bit tired so perhaps I could allow a shortcut this one time.”

Tired? Shortcut? You gritted your teeth, the shiver and flushes your body had recently undergone turning into a goddamn fire instead. “Tired? You wish! In fact, I'm going to make the sauce by hand!”

Papyrus lit up and you took that as your cue to snag up all the tomatoes and garlic and basil you could get. You pulled out a knife and began to dice up the vegetables before tossing them into a heated saucepan with a hearty laugh. “Watch how a true master makes a sauce-I swear to God, Pap, you pour those fish flakes in here and I will bludgeon you with the rolling pin!” You barked at Papyrus before he could add his own special ingredient into your very quickly put together, yet very much delicious, marinara sauce.

“Do not bludgeon the skeleton!” He cried, tossing the flakes aside before you could make do on that threat.

“Less talk! More rolling!”

The pin came down once more and Papyrus rolled the dough with a fire in his sockets. Which was impressive since he was having to do it one handed. You stirred, tasting your concoction with a nearby spoon. “How is it?” Papyrus asked.

“Good. Here! Don’t burn your tongue!” You realized, letting him taste a spoonful. It was kind of surreal watching him lick the sauce experimentally only for him to wave excitedly. “Good?”

“Good!” He lifted the dough onto the pizza tray and pressed in the edges to form the crust. “Hurry! Bring it here before it catches fire!” Papyrus ordered.

That was a legitimate concern. “Ah! Okay! Okay” You exclaimed and started spooning sauce onto the pizza crust clumsily. Tomato sauce splattered all over your hands but you managed to get most of it on the rolled out dough. Papyrus had already opened the bag of cheese and let it rain down like snow.

“Fear me, for I am Papyrus, Pizza Topper Extraordinaire!” He cackled. He paused for a moment and grabbed his cheekbone. “Ah! I got some in my sockets!” He lamented. You snorted and busted out in laughter as he shook cheese strands out from under his jawbone. 

“I’m gonna pop it in the oven!” You seized the pizza and opened the oven only to feel no heat. “Oops!”

“What is it?”

“I forgot to turn on the oven,” you admitted sheepishly, turning it on and closing the door, leaving marinara stains on the handle from your hands. You put the pizza back on the counter and wiped off your right hand. You couldn’t help but survey the mess.

Papyrus was already ahead of you and wiping down the counter. You stopped him with a grin.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, I’ll clean up later, okay?”

“Are you sure?” Papyrus asked worriedly

“Yeah, you’re my guest here. Unwillingly here, but still my guest,” you chided him.

The Monster blinked in surprise. “Although I am indeed chained to you, I am certainly enjoying my time as a prisoner.” He gestured with his free hand to the bowl you had stuck the dough in to rise. “At least let me put this in the sink to soak.”

“Well if you’re really going to twist my arm about helping me, knock yourself out,” you joked.

Papyrus shook his head. “If we didn’t just make an amazing pizza, I would be so disappointed in you right now.” As he turned to grab a few bowls and the rolling pin, you noticed you had missed some tomato sauce on your pointer and middle finger. The towel was a bit out of reach so you tried to discreetly stick them in your mouth.

Operative word “tried”. Your tongue barely brushed against your fingers when a glove wrapped around your wrist and pulled your hand away. Fuck, how could you forget Papyrus was here? And here you were trying to lick the hand that was attached to his. At the very least, he’d be grossed out.

You quickly looked up, absolutely intending to apologize for your actions. Instead, you squeaked as a hot and wet tongue entwined your fingers. And it wasn’t your tongue. Papyrus’ ran his tongue along the tips of your hand. You stared dumbstruck at this skeleton who had literally last night practically threw you off his lap but now polished off the last of the sauce off your fingertips with his fluorescent tongue, sending goosebumps down your arm.

Your eyes met his and he froze once more. He released your hand. That expression you had seen last night clouded his countenance, but this time you could identify it. Guilt. “I-I don’t know what came over me,” he quickly stammered.

“What the fuck?” Was all you could manage. Classy.

“I’m sorry.”

“Papyrus, what the fuck was that?” You asked, regaining some of your brainpower. He attempted to back away but you held fast to his bound hand.

“I’ve overstepped my boundaries. I’m sorry.”

“Boundaries? As friends?” You tried to understand. He remained silent. You tried again, “Listen, Papyrus, you and I are literally bound to each other. We cannot be further than 6 inches away from each other. There’s going to be some weirdness!” Maybe not this much weirdness, but Papyrus cracked a slight smile. “Tell me what’s going on.”

The smile vanished. “I can’t really say more.”

“You can’t…or you won’t?” You bit your lip as your chest clenched. If he wasn’t talking, you could assume the problem was with you. “It’s me, isn’t it? I’m the one overstepping things with you.” 

Papyrus cocked his head at you in surprise. Of course, you forgot. He had made it abundantly clear how much this relationship with Mettaton meant to him. And here you were, confusing him. Granted, he was the one who had just licked your fingers but still, confusion nevertheless. “I’m sorry, I should have known-I mean, God, I’m such a moron. You and Mettaton, I mean, what was I thinking?” You stammered.

“Me and Mettaton?”

“Well, yeah. You guys are in a relationship.”

“Yes?”

“He’s your boyfriend?”

“I didn't know that.”

“...What?”

Papyrus scratched his chin. “We haven't even gone on a date yet.”

“You...haven't?”

“It seems entirely irresponsible of me to jump into a relationship without at least a few dates first.”

“But Mettaton said…” and then you stopped mid sentence. Hold up, Mettaton had never actually said they were dating, much less in a relationship. He deviously implied it via a photo but had never confirmed it. “That electronic bastard,” you swore under your breath.

“Excuse me?”

Your mind snapped to attention quickly. There was something else going on here. “You said boundaries, what are you talking about?”

“I really appreciate you as a friend and that should be all,” he told you.

You felt like you were running in circles. You clasped both his hands to your own. “Papyrus, please, if you ever really had feelings for me, please tell me what's going on!”

“I know you're in a relationship,” he stated coldly.

...What?

“I-i don't…what are you?” He pulled his hands out of yours.

“I know you're Jeremy's girlfriend.”

Your hands remained in the air where he left them. “Wh-what?”

Papyrus rubbed his temples with his free hand and sighed. “I realize I was not supposed to say it out loud, but my hand has been forced. I'm very sorry about that. I'm not supposed to be here, doing these things with you, thinking these thoughts about you when you have a boyfriend.”

Your mind was blown. Papyrus thought you were in a relationship. Which explained the alacrity of which he stopped any possibly greater than friendly contact with you. But the idea of being in a relationship with Jeremy was too bizarre for you. He couldn't be serious. You couldn't help but throw back your head and laugh.

“PFFFTTT What?? Oh my God, no. No way.”

Papyrus stared at you incredulously. “Excuse me?”

“You thought I was Jeremy's girlfriend?”

“...Yes?”

You shook your head at him. “Yeah, no, that sail is not going to fly anytime soon. I might be dating him but we are not a couple.” Papyrus still looked like he didn't believe you. “Wait, hold up, you don't believe me?”

Papyrus looked incredibly conflicted. “I really want to but I don't want to risk you getting hurt.”

Getting hurt? What the fuck was he going on about? He didn’t say anything more so your mind started to race. How could you convince him? If he didn't believe your words, what could you do otherwise? It's not like he could just look into your mind and see you were telling the truth.

Actually…Your eyes widened. “Papyrus, cast healing magic on me.”

“What?”

You ecstatically continued “Yeah. You'll be able to see I'm telling you the truth.”

Papyrus looked even more uncomfortable. “I don't think I should- you're not even hurt,” he tried to argue.

When you looked back on this incident, you realized you probably could have handled it much differently than what you did. Unfortunately, hindsight’s 20/20. You opened the drawer nearest you and slammed it shut on your fingers. Regret hit you immediately. Your eyes went as wide as dinner plates and you drew your wounded hand under your armpit. Papyrus was horrified.

“WHAT WAS THAT?!” He screeched.

“I DON'T KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!” You cried, your hand pulsing painfully.

“WELL IT'S NOT. THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA!” Papyrus shouted at you, already stripping off his gloves.

“I KNOW!”

“LIKE, ON THE SCALE OF TERRIBLE IDEAS, THIS IS ALMOST THE WORST!!”

“I KNOW, PAP, I KNOW! HOLY SHIT, IT HURTS! OW! DON'T TOUCH IT!” You shrieked as Papyrus grabbed your hand with his bare phalanges. HE let go rather quickly. “GO GET AN ICE PACK!” The skeleton opened your freezer and searched. 

“YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!”

“GODDAMMIT, PAPYRUS!”

“HOW IS THIS MY PROBLEM THAT YOU DON’T HAVE AN ICEPACK?”

“IT’S NOT!”

“WELL, THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!”

“I WANT YOU TO BELIEVE ME!” You screamed at him.

“FINE! I BELIEVE YOU!”

“THANK Y-I-uh, you do?” You realized you were still on max volume and quickly lowered your voice.

“Yes! Just please turn down the crazy, okay?!” He asked, exasperated.

You nodded. “Okay, okay. Sorry. That was a really dumb thing to do.”

Papyrus nodded. “Do you want me to look at your hand?” He asked, gesturing to your injured hand.

Your hand didn’t hurt nearly as much as it had a minute ago and you shook your head. “No, no, I think I’m okay,” you smiled shyly. You glanced at the wall you shared with Kaylie. “Man, Kaylie is going to have some questions for me later about this.”

“That would be safe to assume yes,” Papyrus agreed.

The oven dinged, signaling that it was preheated. “I guess, we better put it in the oven before someone else suffers bodily harm.” Papyrus nodded gravely, picking up the pizza as you opened the oven. There was a frying pan in there. “Ah, crap. I forgot that was in there. Hold on a sec,” you apologized, reaching for the pan.

“Wait, human!”

Your bare hand wrapped around the handle of the frying pan before you could register Papyrus’ warning. Initially, you felt nothing. Your mind went blank and you froze. He yanked your hand off the pan immediately, forcing you to mentally return and register the deep searing pain that was taking root in your hand. You painfully gasped, severe ache robbing you of actual speech and profanity. The skeleton grabbed your burnt hand, his phalanges wrapping tightly around it before you could do any further damage.

“Hold on,” he ordered. A different form of warmth seeped into your hand and with it, a deluge of emotions that were not yours. Apprehension, desire, fear, concern. Your own mind could barely form thoughts of your own as you were surrounded by these feelings. And a familiar voice kept echoing.

“You wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her, right?”

I can take care of her.

You knew that voice.

“You wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her, right?”

Please, no. I care for her.

It was someone who was close to you. Someone who was supposed to care about you.

“You wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her, right?”

No. I want her to be safe.

…Jeremy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pysch. They both snapped. :)
> 
> And everything starts to to unravel. Next time is storytime, whether Papyrus intended it or not. (Mini chapter time)
> 
> On a serious note: Never, ever harm yourself for the sake of someone else. It was played for laughs here, but really don't do it. Even if that someone else has magic powers, just don't do it. You're too special to do that to yourself and if you or someone you know is going through this, please go to a trusted adult or a friend for help. You're never alone.
> 
> On a less serious note: pour some sugar, not fish flakes on those artists by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	115. Breakthrough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting harder to think of chapter titles. And we have lot more to go still...oh man. But enough about that. 
> 
> Starting out with Papyrus' POV before we go back to reader. Hopefully it won't get too confusing for you guys.

“Hang on, let me unlock my phone,” Jeremy spoke as he pulled out his phone to show Papyrus in class, “I’ve got so many pics, I don’t even know which one to show you first. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. I’m so proud that you have ah-uh…” Papyrus’ voice petered out in his throat as he spotted the human’s screen.

Jeremy glanced at the skeleton and smiled shyly. “Oh yeah, like my new lock screen? I think it’s a nice photo of us,” he chuckled.

“Y-yes. That is a nice photo of both of you,” Papyrus managed, tensing slightly. It was a photo of you, kissing Jeremy, dressed in the outfit you had worn that night. You were smiling as he pressed his…uh, tongue against your lips. You seemed to enjoy it. Somehow, this bothered Papyrus. He realized he was too much in his thoughts as the human continued to talk.

“She was super sweet to pose like that! I didn’t even have to beg,” he continued gleefully, prompting Papyrus to smile back at him supportively. “Then again, that would be pretty weird to have to beg your girlfriend to take a photo with you,” he added with a wink.

“Girlfriend?” A sharp pain swiftly slammed against his chest. Despite the fact he had not been physically assaulted, the skeleton still felt he had been struck at hearing this. You and he were a couple? A conflict of emotions immediately swarmed his cranium as Jeremy continued in a quieter voice.

“It’s nothing too crazy at the moment, just keeping it on the down low right now until some of the anti monster protests die down. My family has been dealing with a lot of threats and the last thing I would want is for it to get out that Lori and I were a couple. God only knows what psychos would do if they found out if she was connected to me.” Jeremy glanced around, “I shouldn’t have said anything now.”

Guilt. That was the primary emotion now, especially after hearing that. He had taken advantage of your emotionally compromised position, preying upon your latent feelings for him when in reality, you had promised yourself to another. The adrenaline from that night must have only encouraged your susceptibility to his roguish heroicness.

He didn't really feel like a hero right now. He had practically forced himself upon you Saturday night. Heroes did not do that. Heck, even friends didn't do that to each other. He didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry,” he found himself mumbling, apologizing for more than the human probably knew and definitely not to the man in front of him.

“No, don’t be sorry, buddy, it’s my fault. Man, I probably shouldn’t have even told you. I just put her in danger just saying it out loud to you. I don’t even talk to her here since you know those protestors are hanging around.” He actually appeared concerned as he said this.

Papyrus quickly cast a worried glance in your direction where you and Mettaton were talking quite animatedly and looking at his phone. “…But, you know what. Listen, I trust you, especially since it looks like Lori has warmed back up to you. Just, try not to tell anyone? Please. I don't want anything bad to happen to her.” The Monsters didn’t answer as he continued to watch you. You were safe and smiling which unclenched his chest slightly. Jeremy followed his line of sight to see him watching you. The human grabbed Papyrus’ glove, regaining his attention. Your boyfriend’s smile was gone. “You wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her, right?”

A cold sense of dread constricted his chest again at these words. It was the very least he could to try to redeem himself. “No, I do not,” Papyrus answered finally.

Jeremy relaxed and released his grip, his smile returning full force. “That’s awesome, buddy. I appreciate that. Now, where were we? I totally got distracted. Oh yeah, shirts.”

He couldn’t continue this conversation. He needed to go somewhere else. Anywhere. “Excuse me, human, but I best find my brother.”

Jeremy’s smile faltered slightly. “Ah, don’t you wanna hang around to see the laundry?”

Papyrus had to resist the immediate desire to respond in the affirmative. Instead he shook his head. “Not now, I’m not really feeling like laundry at the moment. Excuse me.” He walked away in a random direction. He heard you laughing once more.

But he didn’t look.

~~~~~~

Your mind started to clear as your hand stopped tingling and the warmth receded. You were leaning against the counter of your kitchen, trying to make sense of the muddle of thoughts that assaulted you. It was Jeremy. It was no doubt in your mind that it was Jeremy that said those words. You don’t know when he said it but one thing was for sure. Those words greatly affected Papyrus. You realized the skeleton wavered in front of you anxiously. He caught sight of your more alert expression and tried to speak.

“Jeremy,” you spoke. He stopped.

“Eh, no, it’s me, Papyrus.”

“No. It was Jeremy. Jeremy told you I was his girlfriend, didn’t he?” You asked slowly, shaking your head.

Papyrus sighed and nodded. “Yes, he did.”

“And you believed him?”

“Yes. He had a photo.”

“A photo?” 

“A photo of you two kissing.”

Your mind went blank for a moment before the train literally derailed and collided with the station. “Are you fucking serious?” You gasped, “That bastard was supposed to delete that photo!” 

Papyrus gaped at you. “Wait, so you did kiss him?” 

“Well yeah! He was my date!” You argued. 

“Hold up! Do you always kiss your dates?”

You turned red. “Well, I-uh...”

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” He asked, cocking his head at you.

You choked. “Seriously?"

“Was it my breath?” Papyrus gasped, breathing into his hand. 

“I don’t always kiss - your breath- you don’t have lungs!” You spat out, trying to find a coherent thought in all of that. 

“You don’t know that for sure!” Papyrus argued.

“Yes, I do!” 

“How?” 

“Because I felt you up the second day we met!” You blurted out.

You both colored at your outburst. Papyrus opened and shut his jaw before holding up a finger. “Nyeh heh heh. Technically...you only touched the outer part of my chest.”

You opened and shut your own mouth. “And...technically, I only kiss dates if I want to...or they force themselves on me,” you pointed out.

“Fair point.” There was an awkward silence. “So, uh, did you?”

“Did I what?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Did you want to…?”

“Did I want to...oh.” You scratched your head. “Ohhh. Uhhh. He begged me to and I guess I kinda felt bad,” you admitted.

“Oh.”

You shook your head, trying not to dwell on that, and instead focus on the memories he had inadvertently made you privy to. They were already fleeting fast but you still had one more question. Why had Jeremy done this? How long did he think he could carry this on? What was he thinking? “Do you know why?”

Papyrus shrugged. “Probably because he is your friend and you wanted to make him feel better.”

You stared at him. “What? No. I mean. Why did he tell you he was my boyfriend?”

“Oh!” Papyrus laughed awkwardly. Finally, after a few seconds of quiet humming, he gestured to you. “I think he wanted to protect you,” he answered honestly.

Protect you? You flexed your hand, noting the skin was healthy and pink. You chuckled. “I don’t need someone to protect me, I want someone who’s going to actually be a friend. He and I are going to have a talk when I see him next.” You looked up at him admirably. “Did anyone tell you how awesome you are?”

“Plenty of people, but it’s nice to hear again,” Papyrus admitted shamelessly. You tried to walk toward the oven but the sound of him clearing his nonexistent throat made you pause. 

“What’s up?” You asked. 

“Can I ask a favor of you?” He asked. He looked serious.

“Sure.” Oh man, it was serious. 

“If you do ever kiss my pearly white teeth, please don’t do it out of pity.” You stifled a giggle as he held a hand to his chest. “I am quite capable of securing smooches!” He assured you. 

“Alright, alright. I won’t. Same goes for you?”

“Nyeh heh heh! Of course!” 

You spotted the pizza still sitting on the counter. “We probably should cook that, huh?”

“Probably.”

~~~~~

The pizza was slightly burnt by the time you removed it from the oven. Papyrus had cut the pizza when it finally came out and had arranged the pieces into the shape of a bone. So here you both sat in the living, munching on bone shaped pizza. 

Things had been pleasantly quiet between you both. Your emotional outburst and subsequent self harm were not the proudest moments of your life. However, things were definitely calmer and Papyrus was chatting with you far more freely than he had in the last 3 weeks. Maybe a brief snap from all things logical was worth it. 

You observed your handcuffed friend as he grabbed another slice. So...Papyrus was single. And for some reason, this made butterflies flutter in your stomach. And you immediately crushed them with another slice of bone shaped pizza. Quit it. He was your newly minted friend again. And here you were already thinking about his relationship status. 

Still...although you were both calmly sitting here and eating pizza like it was no big deal, when in fact, it was a very big deal. You were handcuffed together. And the longer you guys were handcuffed together, the more uncomfortable conversations you two were bound to have. And God forbid you had to use the restroom again! Your eyes widened. What if you had to poop?

“Alright, this is enough!” You finally declared, shouting far louder than you intended.

Papyrus paused mid bite of his slice and cocked his head at you curiously. “What?”

“This!” You shook your hand and the cuffs rattled in response.

“It is rather inconvenient, but until Alphys comes, I’m afraid we will have to make do.” Papyrus took a bite of his slice. You froze. How far were you willing to go on this? 

“Technically, uh, we don’t NEED to wait for Alphys.” The Monster choked and your eyes widened in alarm. Too far! Too far! “Oh my God, please don’t choke. I have no idea how to do the Heimlich Maneuver on a skeleton!”

“I’m fine!” Papyrus finally reassured you after a few tense seconds. He didn’t look fine, but at least he wasn’t choking anymore. “Human, do you know what you’re suggesting?”

You ran your fingers through your hair anxiously. Did you? “Yes?” You stood up and faced him. “Listen, we’re both adults! Single adults! Right?” Papyrus nodded. “We’re totally responsible!” You declared.

“Absolutely!”

“Capable of making rational decisions?”

“Always!”

“So, let’s uh, figure this out.” All of this to hopefully avoid another restroom scene. At least that's what you were telling yourself even if those goddamn butterflies suggested otherwise. Your bravado wavered at the end but you managed to draw out Papyrus enough from his shell shock for him to assist.

Papyrus stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder. “Are you suggesting we perform the horizontal tango?” He asked in complete seriousness.

Horizontal tango? Your mind clicked and your eyes widened. “Oh! Uh! Wait, no. I was going to suggest we each masturbate.”

Papyrus let out a sigh of relief but it didn’t last long. “Masturbate?” He questioned.

“Yeah, you know, touch ourselves to make us orgasm.” Papyrus looked perplexed. “You know, spank the monkey, buffing the banana, polishing the rocket-“

Papyrus put a hand to your lips. “Stop now. Please. I know what that is.”

“Ohhh, haha, right sorry.” Right, Papyrus had some experience now. You felt rather stupid. You tried not to show it.

“I just do not know how you’re going to be able to do it,” he muttered.

“Me?”

“Yes. You do not have a penis so how will you…polish the rocket?” His face twisted in a grimace as he spoke and you felt yourself tense up at the dislike with which he said the phrase.

“I-uh-women don’t need a penis to orgasm,” you answered evasively. Why didn’t female masturbation have any slang you could use at this moment?

“Oh! I forgot about you could use your toy.”

“Yeah! You could also finger yourself or rub on something…” your voice died down in your throat as Papyrus’ words clicked into place. You shot him a leery work as he paled. “Hold up, what did you just say?”

Papyrus looked absolutely panicked for the briefest of moments before clearing his nonexistent throat. “Toriel explained that female masturbation could use toys.”

Oh. Duh. Why would you think he actually knew about your toy? Now you were just being paranoid. You laughed awkwardly. “Ah ha. Yeah. If I had a toy, that would TOTALLY be a real thing…God, is it warm in here all of a sudden, or is it just me?”

“No, it’s very warm to me too,” Papyrus admitted with a nervous laugh.

“The point is, I can do it too,” you concluded.

“Oh wonderful.” There was a strained silence between you both. Neither of you did anything.

“Well?” You asked.

“Well what?” He questioned.

“Do you want to start?”

“Now?” Papyrus gasped. You nodded. He looked uneasy. “Well, I guess we could.” You looked down at yourself and attempted to will your hand down to your pajama pants. It did not even move. You glanced at Papyrus and if he had lips, he probably would have been biting them. Even if he wasn’t directly looking at you, the idea of an audience, especially a slightly unwilling one was incredibly off putting.

“Okay, yeah, I can’t do this,” you finally gave up and Papyrus let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Thank goodness. I must admit, it’s a bit different when you’re right next to me,” Papyrus agreed.

“Different?”

“I mean, well, I’m not used to having you actually here for this.” You looked at him critically. Was he suggesting that he would think of you when he did this? Papyrus waved his other hand at the face you made. “I mean! Not just you, ah, anyone being here is odd.”

“Uh huh.” You shrugged. “Well, unfortunately, we’re going to be right next to each other until we figure this out.”

He brightened up. “Or! I have an excellent plan!”

~~~~~

Papyrus had odd solutions for odd problems, but damn, this wasn’t a half bad one. You sat on the floor in the hallway and smirked at the towel hanging from the door frame, effectively producing a curtain to offer privacy from the skeleton. Or at least the illusion of privacy as you could see his boots shuffling on the floor as he adjusted himself on the ground.

“You know, this was a really good plan!” You congratulated through the towel.

“Of course!” Papyrus replied matter of factly. “Now it will feel like both of us are alone and we can do…that.”

“Yes, that.” You sat awkwardly on the floor, your hand underneath the towel separating you and Papyrus. He did not seem to be doing anything. “Uh, are you going to start?” You asked.

“Ladies first?”

“Oh. Uh. Right.” You slowly reached down with your right hand and tugged at the hem of your pants. Think sexy thoughts. Think sexy thoughts. You tried to imagine the sexiest thing in the world. You imagined a baseball. You groaned and withdrew your hand. This wasn't working.

“Papyrus, how's it going?” You asked.

“Very well! Yes, absolutely touching myself without abandonment.” You raised an eyebrow as he continued to call out, “Yes, only a matter of time for me!”

“You're not doing anything are you?” 

“No. No I am not.” You pulled the towel down and Papyrus instinctively looked away.

“I’m not doing anything.” He looked back at your words and saw that you were fully clothed.

“I see. This does prove to be problematic.”

“This is really weird. Maybe we need to get in the mood?”

“The mood?” Papyrus inquired, “What type of mood?”

“Sexy mood.” You got up and motioned him to follow you to the living room. “Maybe we can watch some adult material online or see if i have any movies with risqué scenes. Ooh! We could watch the octopus movie!” You laughed.

Papyrus cleared his throat. “May I make a suggestion?”

“Uh huh sure,” you said as you kneeled down to look at your DVDs.

“Why don't we kiss?” Your ears perked and you stood up to face him once more.

“Kiss? Like you and me, lip to lip-uh teeth?”

“Yes. That is the definition of kissing.” You thought about it as Papyrus continued. “I feel good when you kiss me. Perhaps it feels good for you too?”

You really thought about it. He was right. Kissing him was rather nice. And you couldn't lie, enough kissing with him would probably lead to you feeling amorous enough to finish on your own.

“And if we both feel good enough, we have a better chance at touching ourselves successfully,” you agreed somewhat more excitedly than you would have liked. You nodded at Papyrus. “Okay I'm down. Let's do this.”

“Excellent, prepare to be wowed by my kissing skills.” To your surprise, instead of kissing you, he led you back to your bedroom.

“You want to do this in my bedroom?” You questioned.

Papyrus scratched his head. “I read that this room makes a more romantic mood.”

“I thought we were only going for sexy mood.”

“Can it be both?” Papyrus asked.

You opened your mouth to protest but stopped. Now that he mentioned it, it did feel somewhat more intimate in your bedroom than it did on the couch. You already felt a slight tingle of eagerness that wasn’t there when you had attempted this on the ground. “It could be both.”

“Thank you.” You faced him and bit your lip.

“Would you mind if I put on some music?” You asked.

Papyrus looked delighted. “Oh yes, please do.” He followed you to your phone and you quickly turned on the app Pandera. You hesitated but tapped in “sexy romantic song” and stepped away.

Once again you faced Papyrus. “Right, so I'll just uh…” You could think of nothing.

Thankfully Papyrus closed the gap between you both. “May I?” You looked up at him gratefully and nodded. He leaned down and pressed against your lips in a hesitant kiss. It was a timid kiss with not nearly as much force into it as your other kisses had been. But considering how palpable the tension was in the room at the moment, maybe timid and shy was the way to go. You shut your eyes and tried to relax.

“I've been really tryin', baby!”

Your eyes shot open and you pulled out of the kiss. “Oh my God, no no,” you squealed.

Papyrus appeared alarmed. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long,” the familiar song continued.

“It's not you, it’s the song,” you explained, turning and trying to walk toward your phone.

“Is it a bad song?”

“No, no it's a love song but it's just so ugghhh!” You couldn't help but smile even as your whole body cringed at the song. The tension had completely vanished as you made it your mission to skip this song.

“And if you feel like I feel, baby”

You couldn't reach the phone. Papyrus remained standing where he stood and pulled you back to him. “You're smiling.”

“Only because it's so corny,” you chuckled.

“Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon!”

Papyrus captured your chin and drew you to him. “It is so good to see you smile.”

Before you could say anything, he kissed you. Much more forcefully this time. You started seeing stars.

“Let's get it on!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Let's Get it On" is my go to jam for...well, getting it on. What's yours or at least what you want yours to be?
> 
> Next chapter is...cough cough, not safe for work, if you get my drift.
> 
> Love on those artists by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	116. Boom Goes The Dynamite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you! Do you remember those little ***? That means NSFW. And if you don't know what that means, then you probably shouldn't be reading.
> 
> This chapter is long, hard, and quite the game changer.  
> Enjoy.

***

You returned the kiss full force against the tall skeleton and he groaned in appreciation. Finally, he pulled away and you both panted slightly as you pressed yourself against him.

“Will that be enough for you?” Papyrus breathed.

Yes he certainly added some fuel to the mood. But you needed a bit more. “I need a bit more,” you admitted and this time, you kissed him. You had pressed into him with your body before you remembered that you didn't actually ask if he wanted to continue. You backed off and he looked slightly dazed. “Shit, I'm sorry, did you want more too?” You asked.

Papyrus answered your question by pulling you back into the kiss you had started. Well, that was an obvious yes, you supposed. This felt good. Really good you couldn't help but admit as his fingers pressed into your shoulders. Maybe you both could up the level of intimacy a bit. After all, you were alone.

The answer to your musings came sooner than you expected as Papyrus abruptly sat on the bottom of your bed, breaking your contact with him. You hadn't even realized you were both moving.

Papyrus cleared his throat somehow. “Has my kissing mastery satisfied you?” Oh my god. You couldn't believe this Monster. He was just so, so... unbelievably stupid sexy at the moment.

“Not quite,” you answered, letting your tongue run along your bottom lip. “Can you climb up on the bed more?”

Papyrus nodded although he seemed unsure. “Yes, I certainly can. Are we abandoning the attempt to break the cuffs?” He questioned as he scooted only a smidge or so backwards. He actually appeared annoyed. “It's still rather early for us to sleep.”

“Oh, beds are used for more than just sleeping,” you purred, trying to be sultry about it.

The skeleton scratched his head as you both sat on the bed. “I mean, I love a good story but I don't think this is quite the time.”

“Do you trust me?” You finally sighed.

“Of course.”

“Cool. Get on the bed.”

If he had eyebrows, he probably would have raised them at you. However, he obliged, backing up until he was all the way on the bed and you followed after him until you were sitting in front of him. You leaned in to kiss him once more. He gladly resumed the kiss and for a few seconds, you were just kissing again. This was nice. Your free hand ventured forth and stroked the grooves of his cervical vertebrae. The action made him shiver but he did not pull away and your hand trailed to his chest plate. Hopefully, this meant a green light for the next part of your plan. You broke the kiss and he practically whined at the loss of contact. The whine quickly turned into a groan as you peppered kisses along his mandible to the bottom of his temporomandibular joint.

Here goes. Your lips left his skull and began to kiss his cervical vertebrae exposed by his scarf shifting. He let out a startled shriek and you immediately flung yourself as far back as the cuffs allowed. “Oh my God, oh my God!” You apologized profusely as you quickly scanned him for injury. “I’m so sorry! Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” You asked worriedly as he shook his head and blew out some air.

“I’m alright just-wowie!” He exclaimed. “Necks are very sensitive.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Yes, yes they are.”

He eyed your neck with renewed interest. “So...when I did this last night, did it feel good?”

You meekly nodded. “Yeah.”

“Would you like me to do it to you?”

Your eyes widened. “Oh! Uh…” You bit your lip. “If you want to- but don't bite me!” You quickly squeaked as his teeth pressed against the sensitive skin.

“I won't.”

“Promise?” You could help but gasp out as he continued up your skin.

“Trust me,” he assured you as he grazed his teeth against the crook of your neck.

You relaxed briefly before he started in but soon found your breath degrading into small pants. You mewled against the simultaneous tickling and arousal, fighting the urge to pull back. His tongue was soon conjured and it stroked just behind your ear. A wanton moan eventually broke from your lips and you could feel him tense.

Shit. You were enjoying yourself a little too much. Reel it in, reel it in. You attempted to squirm back only for his fingers to grasp your shoulders to keep you from wiggling away. For a moment, you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not until you were pressed against the wall, him unrelenting in his stimulation of you. You were starting to feel effectively trapped.

Your surprise must have been more evident than you thought because he pulled away, slightly abashed. “Whoops.”

You gave him a small kiss as you felt yourself cool down a little bit. You both still looked rather flushed. He was probably good to go. You smiled at him. “Do you think you’ve had enough?”

Papyrus looked nervous. “Perhaps. May I have your assistance still?”

You cocked your head at him. “What is it?”

“Would you be willing to still touch me while I, eh, take care of myself?” He cringed as if he just asked you to stab yourself.

You didn’t want to answer him. Instead, you simply nodded and smiled. He chuckled gratefully. You moved over to the right side of the skeleton to allow his left hand to fiddle with the bottom of his pants. You were sorely tempted to peek down to see what his equipment looked like but decided against it. He deserved some privacy.

You settled for stroking his chest with your free hand as you kissed the side of his skull. His breathing became uneven. You wondered if Papyrus was right handed or left? Hopefully he was a leftie otherwise he might have some difficulty on his end.

With his attentions elsewhere, your own body began to whine for some touching. With Papyrus distracted, you decided to oblige your body’s request. You edged a little bit closer until your pelvis rested innocently against the edge of his right knee. He didn’t seem to register the additional contact and you started to rock against his leg a lot less innocently.

Your fingers trailed along the side of his cervical vertebrae once more, tightening on various ringlets as the friction from his leg targeted some wonderful spots for you. His heartbeat increased under the feel of your free hand. Looks like you were doing a good job. Hell, if you both kept going this way, you’d probably orgasm at the same time. Especially if his left hand continued to push you down and his tongue trailed up your neck, you noted through half lidded eyes.

Wait a minute. His left hand was supposed to be servicing himself. What was it doing on you? Your eyes opened and looked up to see Papyrus removing his tongue from your neck. How’d you end up on the bottom? He spotted your confusion and paused. “Papyrus? Did you already..?”

He jiggled his arm to show that he was still attached to you. “No, I did not.”

“Then why? You don’t have to help me.” You were pretty good at taking care of yourself...although lately it seemed you never had the time to do so.

“I want to do this with you,” he insisted. You hesitated. Papyrus’ personality shone through, even through foreplay. Always wanting to help, even at his own expense. But still..there was something else that was bothering you. He looked rather earnest in his appeal but there was something else in the way he watched you that suggested something else. He looked almost soulful.

“Wait. Pap. You mean you want to help me, right?” You clarified.

“Yes. That’s what I said.”

“No, you said…” Your voice trailed off as he looked down at you, clearly perplexed. If he was confused, imagine how you must feel. Still, you couldn’t help but admit that you were slightly impressed that he had the finesse to hold most of his weight off of you which probably wasn’t the easiest thing to do considering you were handcuffed and any movement of your bound hand would most likely result in an imbalance for him. Damn, actually you were really impressed. All things considered, he was being more considerate than the majority of your lovers.

You’re sure he would have been a great lover had you progressed this far…which you had. Huh. Maybe you should stop. Something still bothered you about the way he looked at you earlier and how he insisted on doing this. No. This was getting too intimate, too personal for you and despite your heart basically rocketing around your chest, you didn’t want to lose yourself to this.

“Can we stop a moment?” You asked, sitting back up.

Papyrus immediately backed up and looked rather worried. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” you reassured him, “it felt GREAT!” You really emphasized that last part and he relaxed. “It’s just, I want you to feel good too, you know?” You placed your free hand on his shoulder.

“But, it does feel good,” Papyrus insisted, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your fingers before releasing it. The gesture made him pause before his rubbed the back of his skull. “It feels good to touch myself, but it feels good to touch you too.”

“Aw…Pap,” you cooed, placing the free hand against his cheek. He was sweet. Too sweet for this world. Especially yours with its twisted kinks and shit. Still, you pressed a kiss to his cheek bone. The skeleton appreciated the gesture, his hand moving to touch the spot you had kissed. “You’re really sweet. But this is my home. And you’re my guest. So lay down.” And with that, you shoved Papyrus onto his back.

“Wait! Wait-!” He didn’t have long to protest before your hand, which just a second ago had caressed his skull, pinned him down and your lips, which had kissed him gently only a moment ago, now ran against his cervical vertebrae, making sure to lewdly rub the tip of your tongue within many of the grooves of his bones. You could almost feel his protestations die in his throat as you licked and kissed it. Your free hand rubbed his chest plate. You were unsure if this really did anything for him, but the meaning behind the action seemed to make him writhe and buck regardless.

You couldn’t help but take some perverse joy in watching him react. God, watching the polite, put together skeleton fall apart made you blush. Part of you felt guilty for almost demolishing the innocence he seemed to exude…until you remembered that he had screwed one of the girls from class and the sympathy went right out the window along with the rest of your dignity. Once Papyrus was taken care of, he could leave and you could remove this cuff later, by yourself. Alone. It was better this way.

Your thoughts were broken by Papyrus’ voice. It wasn't terribly loud so that's probably why you didn't hear him initially. You leaned closer to pick up what he was saying and were taken aback by his appearance. His orange pupil was practically burning in his sockets and you could see magic circulating in and around his body.

“Please,” he panted.

“Please what?” You asked. Jack him off? Blow him? Make him cum? You attempted to blunt your possible reaction to whatever he could ask of you.

“Please, let me touch you.” You hadn't expected that request and you swallowed hard.

“Touch me?” You saw his gloved hands clutching the bedsheets tightly. Had he been restraining himself this time? You hadn't wanted to get involved more than you already had. The line between friends with benefits and lovers had been incredibly murky. This would only add to it the confusion. Yet…

One more thing wouldn't hurt at this point. “Okay.”

The words could not have come sooner out of your mouth. His hand reached out to grab at you and you expected him to paw at your breasts. Instead you found his hand wandering over the base of your neck, gently thumbing your bare shoulder. Was he...petting you?

He let out a sigh of relief and his hand dropped back to the mattress. “Thank you.”

You stared dumbly at the skeleton underneath you. This couldn't be real. He was satisfied with just stroking you. You did not know how to feel about this. Papyrus caught your eyes. “Was that alright?”

You did the only thing that made sense. You threw yourself on him and kissed him ferociously. Your manacled hands clutched each other desperately. Those concise clear thoughts you had amassed vanished and you found yourself propelled forward by pure emotional instinct.

That familiar feeling of a spring winding up in your abdomen began to take shape and you whined needfully. You were saying something but for the life of you, you had no idea what it was or even if it was intelligently.

You almost had your shirt halfway off, nearly exposing your chest. Papyrus likewise was fiddling with the glove on his free hand. No doubt, the glove had prevented him from using some of his magic to make things more interesting. You lustfully moaned as he managed another nip.at your neck. His breathing was ragged. Surely he must be close too. 

It seemed that sex would soon be the final destination. You were very quickly reaching the point of no return as your toes managed to pull down your pajama pants. The thin material of your panties would soon be the only barrier once he got his pants all the way off. You forced yourself to withdraw enough to see Papyrus using his teeth to pull the rest of the glove off his hand.

“Papyrus, are we going to? I mean do you want to?” You panted.

His orange eye took in your figure and he groaned. “Oh human…”. An ambiguous answer. Great. You wavered on continuing. You needed a yes. You wanted a yes. That he wanted this right here, right now with you. You were an emotional mess at the moment but you needed to hear him say he wanted you as much as you wanted him. 

He appeared quite undone at this point and you resisted the urge to sigh. What to do? You tried to blow away some strands of hair that fell over your eye. Papyrus seemed to come to, and reached up with his phalanges to brush the strands out if your face, watching you with that same expression he had earlier.

A loud splintering immediately caught both of your attention. You pulled back just centimeters from his hand to watch in horror as your bedroom door sailed past you both, a spear piercing right through the middle of it.

“What the fuck?!” You yelled. Papyrus grabbed you with his free hand and flipped you to the bottom, magic already surging through his bones for a counterattack. A flash of something hot and overpowering shot through your body and you screamed painfully. Fucker just attacked you instead! He realized the mistake as well and released you. His body covered yours protectively as his arm jerked toward the entrance of your bedroom, the magic now flowing freely through his phalanges. A bony wall structure materialized in front of you as splintered parts of the door flung outwards dangerously.

His attacking hand brushed against your naked skin again and to your minor relief, the sense of overpowerment was dampened. “Prepare for my Defense Tower Formation!” He shouted at the intruder. The pain was back but now it was to cringe inside. DTF. Goddammit Pap. But only slightly. You attempted to yell at him.

A shrill voice screamed out in the chaos and you forced yourself to become quiet to hear it. Then there was a roar of “NGAHHHHH!!!” And then Undyne leapt upon you both. It was a mess of limbs, fins and bones before there was a stillness. You looked up and to your surprise saw Undyne on top of you, pinning you down. “Gotcha!”

“Wrong one!” That was...Alphys? Undyne's victorious smile turned into a sheepish grin.

“Oops.” She quickly rolled off you and onto Papyrus who laid dazed right next to you. Confused arousal pounded your mind and you looked up to see Alphys standing in front of you both.

Papyrus looked equally surprised. “Dr. Alphys? Captain Undyne? What are you doing here?”

Alphys knelt down to your manacled hands. She was beet red. “N-napstablook,” she said.

Arousal immediately vanished. What? What type of word was that? The sound of something clicked caught both of your attention and you looked to see the handcuffs open immediately. You looked back at Alphys and she was even redder than before. “Napstablook…is your safe word?”

Alphys squeaked out something that didn’t even sound like English.

Undyne made a face. “Nothing sucks the energy right out of the room like him.” Even Papyrus made a face at the name. That was a person? What type of person was that? Did they warrant being a safeword more than the word moist?

You rubbed the wrist of your new free hand and Alphys helped you up with a weak chuckle. Undyne had yanked Papyrus up, wincing slightly as she seized a hold of his hand. She handed him the dropped glove and watched you carefully. “Both of you get dressed. Don’t touch each other. Just come out when you’re done.”

What the hell happened?

***

~~~~~

You and Papyrus sat on the couch, not really making any form of contact. You felt akin to kids getting caught by their parents as Alphys and Undyne stood in front of you. He looked rather nervous and you extended a hand to take his now gloved one in an attempt to reassure him.

“AH! No! No touching!” Undyne hollered, making you freeze in place.

“May I ask why, Undyne?” Papyrus asked, his orange pupil fading in and out of existence.

“There might be residual magic…from the handcuffs,” Alphys offered.

He shrugged. “I don’t feel any residual magic. See?”

He made a motion to pat a hand on your leg to prove his point. “NO TOUCHING!” Undyne yelled, loud enough to make you both jump.

“Holy shit, why the hell not?!” You demanded.

Papyrus cleared his throat. “Minus the language, I am equally mystified.”

Undyne looked like a deer in the headlights before groaning. She paced back and forth, running her scaly fins through her. “Ugh. You can’t touch her when you’re like…this.”

“This? What do you mean?”

“Papyrus, I ah man, why do I have to be the one to say this? You can’t have sex with her!!”

You choked. “Wait! What? Sex? We we weren’t planning on…uh…well…”

Even Papyrus looked rather tongue twisted if he still had his tongue. “Well, I suppose one thing was leading to another…” He stopped mid thought and stared at her. “Why not?”

“Because she's a human!” Alphys squeaked.

Papyrus gaped at the doctor. “I'm surprised at you, Dr. Alphys! I was sure a doctor would be open to all forms of relationships!”

“No, you dork! She’s not a speciest! You can’t have sex with her because you could hurt her!”

“Come again?”

You snorted, prompting all the monsters to stare at you. Alphys buried her face in her claws as you quickly assumed a serious face. “She’s, she’s actually right,” you admitted.

Papyrus looked absolutely stunned at all of you before he broke out in laughter. “Nyeh heh heh heh! I see! I see what it is! I have heard about this. Well fear not, I may be large but I certainly would not harm anyone with my size!” He attempted to wink and nudge you, still cackling.

Less than 30 minutes ago, you were seriously thinking about letting him take you to the bone zone. You buried your face in your hands as Alphys tried to surreptitiously glance at Papyrus’ pelvis while Undyne looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here right now.

“I'm gonna murder your brother. Alright, listen here, punk. When a monster is a virgin and they decide to screw around for the first time, their magic gets a bit...weird. Which is fine if they're sleeping with another Monster because our magic help protects us, but when they're sleeping with a human, the human doesn't have magic to protect themselves and they're going to get hurt.”

He nodded his skull. “That's very good information to know.”

“Yeah. That's why you can't sleep with her.”

“Because she's my ex?”

“Because you’re a virgin.”

“But I’m not a virgin.”

And boom goes the dynamite.

Undyne’s jaw dropped. “What?”

Holy shit. There it was. He just said it.

He was completely serious. “I’m not a virgin,” he repeated.

Twice. He just said it twice.

Even Alphys looked skeptical. “Really?”

“Yes!” He yelled.

You had to pretend you didn’t know. Well, you weren’t one hundred percent sure then but you were hearing it straight from the hor-er, skeleton’s mouth. But this was your chance to finally find out more about it without listening to his bedroom wall while getting pounded by his brother.

“What’s her name?” Undyne asked.

Papyrus paused. “I am….not sure.”

Now it was your turn to actually not know what the hell was going on. “Hold up, you don’t know her name?” You blurted out.

“No. I didn’t think to ask.”

“You didn’t-holy shit, Pap, was she clean?” You gasped.

“She looked clean,” he recalled.

“I mean, did she have any STDs?” You clarified.

“Subtle tasteful decorations?”

“What? No! Sexually transmitted diseases!”

“Like…a virus or something?” Your gut twisted in absolute horror. Was he talking about HIV? AIDs? “Can you get sick from those?” He looked absolutely bewildered, pulling off his gloves and staring at his bones.

You slapped his shoulder. “You sunovabitch! You don’t know if you caught something from her and we might have fucked?!”

“I really wasn’t planning on it going that far! Not at first!” He admitted to you.

Alphys waved her claws. “No! No! He’s not that genetically compatible with you!”

“I’ll have you know that I’m quite compatible with everyone! It’s the secret to my popularity!” He argued.

“NO! I mean. He can’t give you anything like…that. Maybe a cold or the flu, but not that!”

You pointed at him. “Well, he needs to get tested regardless!”

“I do better on free response than multiple choice.”

Oh my God. You almost slept with this moro-Monster.

Undyne watched the insanity unfold. “Pap, I’m having a really hard time believing you’re not a virgin.”

Papyrus threw his hands in the air. “How can I prove that I am not?”

Alphys stammered out desperately. “Well-well, until we know for sure, just don’t touch her!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” You shouted. Before anyone could stop you, you pulled down your shirt, grabbed his wrists and pressed your naked breasts into his hands.

Dead silence filled the room before Alphys shrieked and held her nose. Undyne turned red under the gills. Papyrus went into shock. And you, although most definitely physically unharmed, was absolutely dying inside out of sheer mortification at your impulsive actions. You swallowed, finally, your throat absolutely dry. “See? Everything-everything is fine!” You squeaked.

Alphys bolted out of the room. “Oh my God! Do you have tissues?!”

Her girlfriend’s cry snapped Undyne out of her trance and she quickly ran out after Alphys. “Holy shit! Alphys! Are you bleeding? That’s so cool!”

Which left you and Papyrus on the couch. Alone. Again. You released his wrists but his hands didn’t leave your chest just yet. “Papyrus?”

“Yes?”

“They know you’re not a virgin now,” you managed.

“I realize that.”

“Oh good.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“They feel a lot softer than a naked, perky bunny.”

“…”

“Your breasts are also bigger than perky bunnies too. Although I’ve heard some breeds of rabbits are quite large!”

You couldn’t handle it. You pulled yourself of his grasp, tugged up your shirt and bolted to your restroom. You slammed the door behind you only to turn around and spot Undyne and Alphys in there as well. Alphys was holding a tissue to her nose. This day could not get any worse.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. “I’m going to just tidy up out here. Please come out when you’re done peeing, okay?”

Dammit.

~~~~~

It took about 15 minutes for everyone to calm the fuck down. And even then, it took some awkward ice breakers and two rounds of tea before you were all sitting around your coffee table.

Undyne rubbed her own arm. “Yeah, so I’m sorry about getting you guys handcuffed. It seemed like a pretty good idea at the time.”

Papyrus shook his head. “That’s quite alright. I probably should have asked the human before I acted. I’m sorry,” He apologized to you.

You chuckled awkwardly. “That’s okay.”

Undyne groaned. “I’m sorry I cockblocked you guys too.” He tilted his head quizzically at her.

You pretended not to hear that part. You blew some hair out of your face. “You know…it could have been much worse.”

“Not quite sure how it could have been.” Alphys muttered.

“I mean, I could have been attached to Mettaton or Jer-someone else and that would have been much more awkward.” Somehow this seemed like the most inappropriate time to bring up your date. Judging by how the skeleton relaxed at your admittance, you decided that this was a good choice.

“God, imagined if you had been stuck to Jerry,” Undyne snorted.

There was a collective groan and even you found yourself groaning even though you still hadn’t met this Jerry person. But he sounded terrible. The comment seemed to break whatever tension was still present in the room and Alphys laughed awkwardly.

“Well, uh, we should probably go. My machine is still in the parking lot and I need to make sure no one gets within 14 feet of it without them wearing infrared protection.”

“That definitely sounds important,” you agreed, not quite sure if your landlord was going to let you renew your lease if this shit kept happening. Assaults, being dropped off at all hours of the night by different men and skeletons, illegal parking of dangerous weaponry – who knew what your neighbors thought of you? Actually, Kaylie didn’t give a shit, so, maybe that wasn’t such a big deal.

You felt a hand on your back and turned to see Papyrus looking down at you, smiling warmly. “Thank you for hosting me. I’m sure it wasn’t the easiest for you.”

You shook your head. “No, no, this was fine. Kind of a fun adventure. A messed up fun adventure.” You couldn’t help it. You found his enthusiasm contagious. You wanted to keep it around a little longer. You gestured to the kitchen. “We have some leftover pizza! Are you sure you don’t want to take some home?”

“Oh! That’s really nice of you! But I already have the little doggy bag you gave me earlier.” Oh yeah. You spotted the brown lunch sack in his hands. You were already sending him with lots of pizza. Probably more than he could eat in the next few days. You hoped Sans would assist.

Despite everything that had happened, your chest hadn’t felt this light in a while. The entire clusterfuck over the last two days had actually cleared up a ton of things between you and Papyrus. Despite the near sexiness encounter, you felt far more comfortable in your friendship with him than you had Friday night.

There was just one more thing that kept weighing you down. And for the life of you, you had no idea how to even bring it up. Papyrus left you on the couch as Undyne pulled out her car keys. He turned toward you and waved as Alphys opened your front door. “I look forward to seeing you on Mon-.”

“I believe you!” You blurted out.

That. That was one way to bring it up.

Papyrus stopped midwave. “…What?”

You felt your voice threaten to fail but you persevered. “I-I believe you. About what happened with our third date. That it wasn’t your fault.”

His sockets widened at your admission. Alphys scratched her head. “Uh, that’s…good?”

The skeleton cleared his throat and turned toward his friends. “Excuse me, but may I speak with the human alone?”

The two female monsters exchanged curious looks but nodded. “Sure, holler if you need us. We’ll be by the car, Pap.” He waited for them to leave and shut the door after him before he turned back toward you.

“Say that again,” he demanded.

“I-uh…” Papyrus placed his hands on both of your shoulders and looked at you. You cleared your throat. “I believe you.”

He looked astounded. “You do?”

“Yes. I realize you didn’t do it on purpose,” You bit your lip. “I don’t even think you would be capable of something that mean…intentionally,” you admitted quietly.

“Of course, it was never my intention to harm you. I never would want to harm you,” Papyrus affirmed.

You nodded. “I know.” You coughed awkwardly. “So uh, I just wanted to let you know that before you went home.”

Papyrus cleared his throat. “Nyeh, I appreciate that. That certainly helps clears things up.”

Does it? You cleared your head of this thought and nodded instead. “Yes, I guess it does.”

Papyrus removed his hands and regarded you hopefully. “I will see you Monday for class?”

“Of course!”

You walked him out to the stairwell and waved contentedly after the departing Monsters. Papyrus had just about gotten to his car when he stopped and called out to you. “Oh! I almost forgot. Feel free to call me anytime you need help satisfying your kinks!”

The blood drained out of your face. Undyne and Alphys grabbed a startled Papyrus and immediately tried to hush him. "Uh…uh…uh!” You stammered, “See you Monday!” You darted back inside and shut the door, your face quickly turning a strawberry red in the privacy of your home. It couldn't get any worse.

"Did he just say what I think he said?" Kaylie's muffled voice called through your shared wall.

And that was the sound of you hitting rock bottom. Awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A game changer but not in the way we expect....don't murder me. 
> 
> Monday is a long ways away. I'm sure more conversations are just bound to come up, especially if we're getting kinky about our conversations. But just to be sure, let's add in two pent up adults. 
> 
> If I could fucking draw, this chapter would be so awkardly fun. Fuck it, Im gonna try. 
> 
> ***Sfw summary- We nearly get it on until Undyne turns it off. 
> 
>  
> 
> Love on those artists by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	117. Discovery (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, two weeks. It's been nearly two weeks since I've last updated. Are you guys still here? That would be amazing if you are.
> 
> I pretty much lost internet except for mobile for a week if not longer. So most of this chapter was written by phone. Which is fucking hard. 
> 
> So please be gentle if you find spelling errors/grammar mistakes. Hopefully this long chapter should make up for the extended wait.

A quick pop over to Kaylie’s apartment was warranted after Papyrus’ outburst in the parking lot. Of course you had to wait for the Monsters to actually leave your parking lot which took surprisingly longer than you thought. You almost thought they were going to set up camp until Papyrus suddenly bolted via car, the girls following shortly thereafter, allowing you to touch base with Kaylie.

Your neighbor was surprisingly unphased by the whole thing and you didn’t quite understand why until she recounted your entire morning. Including your attempt to break the handcuffs. Papyrus was apparently not as quiet as his brother. She even heard how you made him scream when you licked his neck. She especially enjoyed your safewords.

You did not like how she smiled when she talked about the safewords. Great. Just great. You knew she was going to start texting you those words at the worst times. Christ. You finished washing the pizza tray and set it to dry on the counter. Well, whatever, you’d just deal with it as it came.

Your kinks. You need help satisfying your kinks? Pfft. Your kinks were none of his business. Even if you admitted them to him. But, still, how dare he listen attentively to you and try to respond to your needs like a friend or a boyfriend or…uh…”Fuck these dishes. I can wash them later!” You swore at your sink.

There was only a cup left. You sighed and put it in the dishwasher and hit start, but that’s all the cleaning you were going to do. At least that’s what you continued to tell yourself as you wandered into your bedroom and straightened out the sheets, afterwards pulling out the broom to sweep up the splintered pieces of what used to be your bedroom door. You stuck the broom under the bed and swept out more wood and a bone. “Well, that wasn’t there before.”

You knelt down to pick it up only to freeze. Hold up. You got zapped touching his attacking magic earlier. Did you want to risk that again? You paced back and forth, nudging it with your broom. What should you do? Just leave it here?

Maybe you should call Papyrus and ask. You shook your head. No, don’t do that. Calling him right after everything that happened today? That would be super awkward. Maybe you’d come off as clingy. No, no. The bone was fine where it was. You would just ask him about it on Monday. You left it where it lay and continued to tidy up.

You went on your computer and played some music as you checked your online dating profile. You had a few messages! And…they were dick pics. And jokes about being a doctor of pussy. Great. Like you hadn’t heard that before. Actually, you hadn’t heard that before. Damn, you really needed to get out more.

You closed the website and continued to pick up your living room, boogying to the music. You emptied the dishwasher and wiped down the counter one more time. Time seemed to fly by and soon you were shutting off your laptop and heading to your bedroom.

Your eyes found the bone again and stared at it. Would it explode? Oh my God. Why did you just think that? You picked up your phone. Shit, now you had to call Papyrus. You bit your lip and eyed the bone worriedly. You dialed and put the phone to your ear.

It rang about three times before he answered. “Hullo?”

He sounded disoriented. You looked at the time. 9pm. It wasn’t that late. Then again, he probably did spend a bunch of energy healing you, sexing you, and then defending you. That just might be exhausting. “Oh man, did I wake you up?”

“I fell asleep on my keyboard.” He yawned.

You stood there for a second before snickering. “Really?”

“Eh, no, I certainly was not sleeping whatsoever.”

You still chuckled. “Oh okay then. Uh, listen, I just, uh…don’t know how to say this without sounding dumb.” You admitted.

“Oh! Do not be shy. I eagerly await your question and I’m sure it’s not even remotely dumb in any way.”

“Do your bones explode?” You blurted out.

“Excuse me?”

You found yourself twirling your hair. “I just, ugh, listen, you left a bone here.”

There was a pause and rustle. “I seem to be intact.” He corrected.

You eyed the bone again. “I think it came from your shield you made earlier.”

There was another pause and then you could hear the clunking of objects being moved. “You're right. I do seem to be missing one.”

You didn’t question how he could tell. “Yeah, so is it dangerous?”

“Nyeh heh heh! The opposite actually.”

You sighed in relief. “Well, that’s a reli-” you stopped mid-speech. “What do you mean?”

Another yawn. Poor bastard was really tired. Still, he continued, “I cast it to defend us from possible assailants so it’s defense, not offense.”

“Oh.” You should have figured that Papyrus wouldn’t have accidentally left something that could seriously harm you. You walked over and picked up the bone. You ran your fingers along its length briefly. It was smooth, slightly warm to the touch. Otherwise, it was just a normal bone.

“You may hang on to it if you like.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it was conjured to help you. I mean, it can’t do your laundry or your dishes or sweep your floors or…”

“I get it! I get it!” You protested.

He chuckled. “But, it is there to help you. Especially if people keep kicking down your bedroom door.”

“Good to know. Alright, thanks.” You were feeling yourself starting to yawn too. “I guess I should get ready for bed. Are you going to sleep soon?”

“Ha. I’m full of energy.” You smiled at his dampened, but still quite enthusiastic declaration.

You chose a more subtle approach. You lowered your voice a little. “You should think about it. We did have a pretty physical day, you know.”

He choked behind the phone before clearing his throat. “You do bring up a good point. I guess I’ll go wear my jammies. Perhaps, I will see you soon?”

You nodded, “Yup, see you at practice.”

“That works too. Good night!”

“Good night, Papyrus!”

You disconnected the phone and paused. That was an odd way to have ended the phone call. You shrugged and started slipping off your clothes. Perhaps a hot shower was warranted after everything else today.

~~~~~

To your disappointment, even after a hot, long shower, you were still muddled with weird thoughts. You felt amazing, physically. Sort of. You were still a bit tense even when you put that soap bar everywhere. And you really mean everywhere.

You pulled on clean bed clothes and shook your head. Your mind kept drifting back to Papyrus and the fact that someone had sex with him. You couldn’t wrap your mind around it. You were a complicated person, but having this much inner turmoil was a bit over the top. And when you were this confused, there was only one thing to do.

You needed a fuck. 

You briefly glanced at your phone, debating if there was anyone you could call. Maybe Sans? No. That was probably a bad idea. Plus, if you had someone come over, you’d have to put on a little make up, offer them a snack. And somehow, the thought of going after anyone else wasn’t as attractive as it used to be. 

You threw yourself backwards onto the bed with a loud “Oof!” splaying yourself out now that you had significantly much more space. You went to snag your vibrator off your night stand and your fingers wrapped around something warm instead. You brought it to yourself. It was the bone. You scoffed and made a motion to put it back when a thought entered your brain and refused to leave. You were getting a bit too used to the vibrator and this was…different. Did you dare?

Well, he did say it was there to help you, didn’t he? And what better way to help you than to help you with this. You ran your fingers up and down the bone, fingering it's strange texture. Papyrus, Papyrus. Good lord. “Who the hell did that Monster sleep with?” You muttered out loud as you fingered the new toy absentmindedly.

Now, you were no sex connoisseur, but you were pretty sure that at least an exchange of names should have at least preluded a sexy event. Then again, Papyrus did have the habit of referring to someone as human. So maybe there had been an exchange of names and he really had forgot. And if so, shit, what a bummer way to lose one’s virginity. You at least knew the name of the guy who did it with you. Alex…er, or Fred? Shit. It was a long time ago. No. You were pretty sure it was Fred. Because you later found out he was called Freddy the fish because every time he had sex, he would just lie there like a dead fish. A sexy dead fish.

There probably wasn’t much more you could do as far as trying to sleuth out his partner without coming off as psychotic, so you just let yourself imagine the details. You couldn't help but wonder what type of partner he had. It didn't sound like they engaged in that much foreplay to be honest. He didn't realize certain spots were erogenous until you were practically licking and kissing him in those areas. You dragged the bone back and forth along your still clothed entrance.

You didn’t even need to take off the underwear to feel grooves along the bone. You raised your hips to press against the toy only to stop mid lift. Huh. This wasn’t quite doing it for you. Guess you better go grab your laptop. You rolled over to get off the bed only to pause as you tried to roll over one of the pillows. It smelled different. It smelled like…bones.

Oh yeah. This was the pillow he used. You looked around surreptitiously. No one was trying to break down your broken bedroom door (remind you to ask management about possibly getting a new one on Monday. Would they believe spontaneous combustion?) You were alone. No one would judge you if you did something weird. Well, weirder than what you were already doing.

So you did something weirder. You smelled the pillow. Yup. Still smelled like him. How do bones leave a scent? Magic. It had to be magic. It was comforting and you rubbed your cheek against it only to freeze as you felt a twitch down below.

“You’re fucking kidding me.” You muttered.

THIS was turning you on? What was that even called when smell turned you on? A quick search on your phone gave you the answer. Olfactophilia? Great. Just one more thing to add to your list of kinks. Your kinks were certainly getting front and center now today, weren’t they? You bit your lip as the last 24 hours caught up with you.

Holy shit, you had been handcuffed. He had handcuffed you. You had actually been handcuffed by someone. How many times had you tried to bring up even the talk about bondage in a serious relationship and here Papyrus just slapped cuffs on you without a second thought. 

Goddamn, now you were even more eager to be riding something. You pulled the pillow in front of you and slipped the bone in underneath its case. You stuffed the pillow between your legs and squeeze it tightly to keep it from slipping out. 

You looked down at the pillow you were straddling and shut your eyes. You were about to masturbate to your ex. Certainly not your lowest point, but still, this was foreign territory. You would have the occasional wet dream with an ex or so but to do this consciously, awake, this was something new.

You didn't bother to shed your underwear as rubbed your increasingly stimulated sex against the bone tucked into the pillow. What if Undyne hadn’t stopped you? You would have still been straddling Papyrus on your bed, waiting for him to say yes. And if he had said yes, would you have remained on top? Probably.

He’d have pulled down his pants and you could see his…equipment. You smirked as your hips ground against the pillow. Was it as big as he was trying to imply? Good lord, Monster anatomy varied. Granted, you didn’t sleep with a lot of Monsters but, if penises were in ratio with Monster size, you could really be in for a shock if he pulled out anything greater than a foot long. Hell, even a foot long was too big. You should have been horrified but the thought of him sliding into you, filling you up completely, only made you quiver and buck more against him.

You wondered if you would be as good as his first? You scoffed. Of course you would. You were amazing. Even if you were currently riding a pillow pretending it was your ex, you still firmly believed you were a goddamn amazing individual. You grew more bold and your hands traveled to grope yourself. Petting was nice, but he’d want to grab something once he was inside. You imagined his phalanges pressing and pulling into your flesh as you rolled your hips against him. He would kiss you. Passionately, needfully. You let out a quiet needy moan of your own as you rode him.

He’d want to take control once he was confident enough. You’d imagine him grabbing your arms and pulling them down. You twisted your wrists into the sheets of your bed, pretending you were bound. Even though you weren’t, your body was already playing along, excitement bubbling up in your abdomen. He’d tell you how beautiful you were and how you make really good pizza and how much he wanted this and how he would never ever pull that standing up shit again and, and oh my God you were so close, it was unbearable. You squeezed your thighs together as you neared the edge. You both would make the bed shake and tremble and he would kiss you one last time before-

“Ah! Ah!” You gasped as the wave hit you, sending shocks down your entire body. You collapsed onto the bed, sweatier but definitely more satisfied than you were about 15 minutes ago. Your chest heaved as you enjoyed the afterglow of your imagined sexscapade. Your wrists slid out from your makeshift bindings to allow your hands to pull the pillow out from between your legs. The pillow still smelled of him. And now you can add the scent of sex to it as well. You tossed it lazily toward your laundry hamper and watched as it bounced off the edge and fell behind it. Whatever, you didn’t need to make the shot. You already scored. With yourself.

Ha. Sans would be proud. And Papyrus would be disappointed. Your eyelids grew heavy and, with a tired groan, you fully slumped to the bed. Your fingers alighted on something wrapped in foil and you picked it up. Hey! It was your pillow candy! You popped it in and made a yummy noise. What a sweet way to enjoy a well earned rest. 

~~~~~

A few hours earlier, in a parking lot of a familiar apartment complex...

Papyrus was surprised by a friendly punch to his shoulder. At least, he thought it was friendly. Undyne was laughing hysterically as she punched him. “Really, Pap? Kink?”

He gestured to your now closed apartment door. “Yes. She had mentioned having a kink about being consensually tied up.”

Alphys gaped at her. “She said what?”

“Apparently, tying her up leads to neck pain, I think.” Papyrus tried to explain. “It was slightly confusing.”

“Do you know what kink means?”

“Eh, either something that is twisted, pain in the neck or a preference.”

“Do you know what type of preference?”

“A personal one?”

Undyne groaned. “Alphys!”

“Yes?”

“Help me out here.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, uh, you’re good at this stuff.”

“Well, well if you’re su-sure.” Alphys stepped forward. She cleared her throat, opened her mouth and no sound came out. “Oh my God, I can’t do it.” She finally squeaked.

“Yes you can!” Undyne cheered. “You talked at the conference right?”

Alphys swallowed. “You’re right, you’re right. I can do this.” She eyed Papyrus cautiously. “So a kink refers to a preference. But it’s a sexual preference.”

The skeleton cocked his head. “Sexual?”

She wrung her claws together. “Sexual. As in, things that turn people on.” He stared at her.

“I’m not quite sure you’re aware but the way you are describing this, it sounds like you’re suggesting that the human is.. well, she can..” His throat suddenly felt really dry.

The scientist nodded. “Yes, uh, she would be sexually aroused by being tied up, held down, basically being subjected to various forms of restraint.”

He went stiff as a board. “Papyrus?”

He looked at his wrist. “Wow! Look at the time! I should be getting home.”

“Papyrus, you don’t have a watch.”

“It’s much later than I thought. Welp! I’ll see you for training on Monday!”

The skeleton hopped in his car and quickly sped out of the parking lot, leaving the bewildered cold blooded couple standing in the parking lot.

~~~~~

Papyrus pulled into his garage, turned off the ignition, grabbed a bag from the car, strolled inside, threw the bag on the couch, walked past Sans, stomped upstairs, walked into his room, shut the door, grabbed his pillow, and yelled into it. He pulled up for oxygen just as there was a knock on the door.

He straightened himself out, placed the pillow back down and opened his door. Sans stood in the doorway, holding a bag, smiling. “hey, pap.”

“Hello, Sans. How was your trip?”

“pretty good. uh, alphys’ machine evaporated the support beam for part of the building which ended up crushing about half of the voting boxes.”

“Wow! Were you able to clean up okay?”

“oh yeah. we won by a landslide.”

“I can't believe you made up a story of widespread destruction for the sake of a pun.”

“i didn't make anything up.”

“Wow. Now it's even more terrible.”

Sans chuckled softly. “hey, got a few moments to chat with your bro?”

Papyrus tried to play it cool even though his entire body was still rather tense. “I'm a little tied up at the moment.” He froze. That was a one time slip up. Certainly not caused by any new knowledge he had just received about a special friend in his life.

“it shouldn't take more than a few minutes. i know you got a lot of cool plans.”

Papyrus straightened himself out and wore his winning smile. ”Sure. I always have time for brotherly bonding.” He could have slapped himself for the slip up.

Thankfully Sans seemed oblivious to his internal turmoil. “thanks bro, this won't take long. i got a bed that's been calling my name ever since we left the hotel.”

Sans came in and shifted uncomfortably. “pap, I don't really know how to say this, but, uh did you use a sex toy on your ex?”

Papyrus sighed, cracked his knuckles. “Undyne said it was a training device,” he explained.

Sans broke out into a grin. “oh man, you really did do it.”

“Nyeh! Wait! I hadn't realized it's true purpose until later that evening.” Sans was already laughing leaving Papyrus to sputter angrily. “It still was an effective training device for dancing!”

Sans wiped a tear from his skull. “oh. this is too good, pap. really it is. undyne wasn’t making much sense whens she showed up to the conference.”

Undyne went to the conference? Papyrus didn’t remember her mentioning anything about that. “The conference? Wasn’t the conference in Lincoln?”

“yeah.”

“Isn’t that a five hour drive?”

“eight, actually.” Papyrus was stunned. Sans shrugged. “yeah..cell reception wasn’t so good. we didn’t know undyne was trying to call us until she showed up.”

She would have had to driven overnight to reach them on time. Papyrus couldn't help but feel touched at his friend's determination, even if it was directly responsible for him feeling sexually frustrated at the moment. “Undyne is a good friend!”

“yeah we left right after the landslide. did alphys make it there on time to open them?”

“Yes. Undyne broke down the human’s bedroom door.”

“bedroom door, huh?” Papyrus’ smile froze. Sans sighed. “man, pap, when did you start growing up?”

Papyrus shook his head. “I’ve always been grown up. It’s just you’ve been too busy to realize that.”

His response caught the older skeleton off guard. He smiled broadly and placed a hand on his shoulder. “heh, guess you got a point. but no matter how adult you get, you’re always gonna be my cool little bro.”

Papyrus tried to huff and look slightly indignant but he couldn’t do it. The familiar sweetness was just too much even for his great resolve and he succumbed to a brotherly hug. “It really is quite a challenge to be this cool and full of wisdom at my age. I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must be but don’t worry, I will keep being your cool brother and help you in anyway that I can.”

Sans squeezed him back before they broke the hug. “thanks.”

“Now, I need to do some research.”

“research?”

“Yes,” he explained, “the human and I have made some progress in our friendship.”

“really?”

He nodded, quite proud. “We have finally come back to the friendship…possibly with benefits stage,” he mumbled that last part before clearing his throat. “I really don’t want to backtrack on my friendship level with her so I need to learn how to continue adding stat points to our compatibility.”

“…you’ve been hanging out with alphys too much.”

“Nevertheless! Until I find the dating handbook again, I must surf the web for answers.” 

“heh. alright. good luck. but if you’re having trouble, you could ask the human for help. i’m sure she can show you the ropes.” He agreed with a wink.

Papyrus threw his hands in the air. “Oh my God! Sans! How could you ruin this with a joke about the human’s…” He stopped mid speech. Did Sans just make a joke about your…preference? “Sans?” 

“yeah, bro?”

“Er, the terrible joke you just made…how do you know that?”

“know what?”

“About the human’s…uh…preferences?”

Sans watched him with a complete poker face. “preferences?”

No, he was just overthinking things. His mind was still elsewhere. “Never mind, now go! I shall come down when it is time to prepare a culinary experience for your early arrival home!”

“sounds good.”

“And no sneaking off to Grillby’s!”

“wouldn’t dream of it.” Sans turned to go but stopped. “oh, almost forgot. i actually came up to give you your bag back.”

“My bag?” Papyrus cocked his skull at him, noticing the white bag in Sans’ hand.

Sans nodded. “yeah, uh, are we getting a new pet?”

“A new pet? What? No.”

“are we adopting that white dog who keeps coming in here?”

Papyrus crossed his arms. “What? Of course not! That mangy mutt is not allowed in this house! Why do you ask?” Sans shrugged and opened the bag, allowing the taller skeleton to peruse its contents. Papyrus scoffed and peeked into the bag. “Is that a collar?”

“yeah, and a leash. receipts in here too. definitely a pricier one than normal.” He mused, handing over the receipt to the curious skeleton. “well, if we’re not getting a dog, why did you guys go to the pet store then to pick out this stuff?”

“I didn’t go to the…the…” Papyrus sockets lit upon the purchaser’s name and his sockets widened.

Sans waited for his brother to finish the sentence. “pap?”

Papyrus looked at his wrist. “Wow! Look at the time! I really, really should be getting back to researching.”

Sans eyed his wrist and raised an invisible eyebrow. “uh, yeah, time sure flies. i’ll be downstairs if you need me if…gravity…let’s...me…get…moving,” he enunciated each part, pretending that he was sinking into the ground.

“Don’t you dare alter time and space in my room!” Papyrus practically shoved a guffawing Sans out of his room. “Get!”

Sans finally left with a laugh and Papyrus quickly shut the door after him. He quickly locked it before Sans could make a reappearance. He pressed his skull against the door, only pulling away once he could hear Sans descending the stairs. He sighed and pulled out the receipt. 

It was your name on the receipt. You had purchased this. Why did you buy this? Was it for work? Your work seemed to already have a lot of leashes and collars. Were you getting a dog? No, you would have mentioned something like that. He racked his skull for answers.

Perhaps you had just forgotten it in his car? No, no, that clearly wasn’t the case. You were proving to be far more multi-faceted simply to have just “forgotten” your bag. This was most definitely a puzzle. A puzzle that would soon be no match for him. Not to imply your puzzles were easy, it was just that he was simply too good at them.

Perhaps…this was your attempt at having him come over again. It must be. He grinned. Perhaps being your friend was going to be easier than he anticipated if you wanted his attentions this much. Clearly, you really cared for him. His attention flickered to his computer.

Easy or not, he should still be prepared to be your cool friend. That may or may not engage in some…well, he shouldn’t plan on pursuing any further physical activities with you. Besides dancing, that is. He opened the internet browser and briefly checked his Undernet account. No new notifications yet. There was however an article someone shared with the title “Cute Nicknames for Girls”. Well, you were a girl. And cute. He clicked it and skimmed through the list.

Cuddly-wuddly. You were rather cuddly. Cookie monster. He was pretty sure you liked cookies “These are adorable.” He couldn’t help but chuckle. Little Bits. You were rather little compared to his impressive frame. There were some animal ones. Cinnamon Bunny. Black Widow…Not…not all of these applied to you. Still, he wrote them in.

Another link at the bottom of the article sent him clicking away. [“The ABCs of FRIENDSHIP!”](https://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2015/04/the-abcs-of-friendship-26-simple-ways-to-be-the-best-friend-ever/) That was perfect! He was absolutely the best at being the bestest friend. He was also the bestest uncle ever according to Frisk. He scrolled through the list which lagged, resulting in him reading the list out of order. Be supportive, be attentive, never give up, respect them. Yes. He was a master of these things. Quash the jealousy. He smirked. He didn’t really have much to be jealous of anymore. Which was nice because it wasn’t a good feeling to be jealous.

He paused on a few of them. Take them out on a date? Well, he could do that. Dates could make you feel special. And he thought you were pretty special. If it boosted you, then why not? Hug them. He gave the greatest hugs. Hopefully you would be receptive to a plethora of amazing skeletal hugs. His pen stopped scribbling as his sockets landed on #19 on the list.

Oh. That was a different suggestion. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. He continued typing and clicking. This was going to need a lot more research. Thankfully, he had nothing but time and energy. He could go all night.

~~~~~

The sound of his phone ringing jerked him up from the keyboard. “What! Who! Sans?” He called out, his sockets still heavy with sleep. He blinked as his phone continued to ring. That was his phone. Someone was calling him. He answered it without looking. “Hullo?”

“Oh man, did I wake you up?”

Oh. It was you. He yawned, trying to rouse himself quickly but it was difficult. “I, fell asleep on my keyboard.

You started to giggle on your end, making him realize what he said. “Really?”

“Eh, no, I certainly was not sleeping whatsoever,” he lied.

“Oh okay then. Uh, listen, I just, uh…don’t know how to say this without sounding dumb.”

Papyrus perked up. Oh! Were you going to admit your latent desire to see him more often? This was definitely worth totally not being awoken from a dead sleep. He had to resist the urge to tell you he knew the answer. “Oh! Do not be shy. I eagerly await your question and I’m sure it’s not even remotely dumb in any way.”

“Do your bones explode?” You blurted out.

That was…not what he expected. “Excuse me?”

“I just, ugh, listen, you left a bone here.” He patted himself down. All his bones were still here.

“I seem to be intact.” He mumbled.

“I think it came from your shield you made earlier,” you suggested.

He spotted his box of bones nearby and dragged it over. He pawed through it, counting the number of bones. He was missing one. He must have accidentally left it at your place after all. “You’re right. I do seem to be missing one.”

“Yeah, so is it dangerous?”

He placed the box aside and grinned. “Nyeh heh heh! The opposite actually.”

You sighed. “Well, that’s a reli-What do you mean?”

He yawned, trying to be a bit more quiet. He wasn’t sure if he was successful. “I cast it to defend us from possible assailants so it’s defense, not offense,” he explained.

“Oh.” He stretched and couldn’t help but suppress a slight shiver that ran through his body. You sounded concerned.

“You may hang on to it if you like.” He prompted, hoping to alleviate some of your concern.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it was conjured to help you. I mean, it can’t do your laundry or your dishes or sweep your floors or…” He lectured.

“I get it! I get it!” You protested.

He chuckled. “But, it is there to help you. Especially if people keep kicking down your bedroom door.” He would rather your door not get knocked off the hinges again. It could get to be very expensive if this became a habit.

“Good to know. Alright, thanks.” You yawned this time. “I guess I should get ready for bed. Are you going to sleep soon?”

“Ha. I’m full of energy.” He had so much research to do. Already his hand reached over to use his mouse again.

“You should think about it. We did have a pretty physical day, you know.”

There was a purr to your voice that set his bones rigid. He choked as vivid images of you moaning and kissing him flashed across his skull. Wow. It felt like yesterday even though it was only a few hours ago. Maybe, maybe he should get some rest. His research might be tampered if he continued to think about your…physical activities. “You do bring up a good point. I guess I’ll go wear my jammies. Perhaps, I will see you soon?” Maybe to get your bag tomorrow?

You nodded, “Yup, see you at practice.”

Welp, maybe not. “That works too. Good night!”

“Good night, Papyrus!”

Papyrus disconnected the phone and stretched. He really shouldn't be sleeping on the keyboard. God forbid if one of the keys popped off and lodged in his skull in a fit of sleep. The thought of Sans sticking a pair of tweezers in his socket sounded really unpleasant. He shut off the computer and quickly changed into pajamas, relishing both the feeling of clean clothes and the ability to yawn and stretch.

Sans must have heard the change in noise for very soon he was knocking on the door, book in hand. Papyrus relaxed at the familiarity of this bedtime ritual and mouthed along with the words.

As he ended the book, Sans couldn't help but ruffle his brother on the skull. “did she read you a story last night?’

“Yes. Hers also featured a small woodland creature as the protagonist.”

“good. gotta make sure she's treating you right.”

“I appreciate your concern, Sans. But I am quite capable of treating myself right!”

"you sure are, g’night bro.”

“Good night, brother!”

Sans left the room, carefully closing the door behind him. Papyrus yawned and settled in. He was a lot more tired than he thought. He forced himself to rest even though his mind was racing a mile a minute. Still, there wasn’t much he could do about it. Sans was still in the house and the last thing Papyrus wanted to do was distress his brother in case his magic acted up again.

So instead, he slowed his breathing until eventually he became heavy with sleep and dozed off.

~~~~~

It was a rather chilly morning when Papyrus woke up. He roused at the sound of his alarm and stretched. Wow, he felt tense. What a night he had. He couldn’t help but crack his knuckles, trying to reflect on things. With little success. His thoughts still hadn’t fully woken up with the rest of his body. Clearly, he needed to incorporate more puzzles into his workout to keep his mind as sharp as his stellar bod.

He quickly made his bed, patting down his pillows evenly. Only when he was satisfied with its straightness did he walk over to the wall separating Sans’ and his room. He pressed his skull against it but didn’t hear any snoring. Perhaps, Sans had actually woken up on time? He doubted it, but a skeleton could hope. His mind was still a bit fuzzy but maybe if he concentrated hard enough he could try to focus.

The sound of something hitting his window stopped his attempt. Curiously he walked over to the window just in time to see a snowball collide with it. He opened the window and looked down. 

Ice Cap and Monster Kid stood below, waving, well, one of them was waving back at him. They were hopping up and down quite excitedly on the snow. “Hey, Papyrus!” 

“Hello, you two! Did you want to join me for training today?” He called back.

“No! But Undyne is looking for you!” 

“Undyne? Are you sure?” He asked. He wasn’t supposed to be seeing her until he headed to Waterfall later. 

“Yeah! She was really excited about something! She should be heading over here again soon!” 

“Wowie! I wonder what it’s about! I’ll be down in a jiffy!” The two Monsters ran off back toward the town, leaving a jittery skeleton. 

Undyne specifically looking for him? Their cooking lesson wasn’t for another 6 hours. Maybe, maybe it was about something important. So important it couldn’t wait. Could it be...Royal Guard related? He was already bounding down the stairs four at a time before bursting out the door into the snow. Although he couldn’t help feeling that something was off, his excitement was practically overloading every other sense. 

“Watch out, Snowden, here comes Papyrus, soon to be newest member of the Royal Guards!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't think a full on clothed masturbation warranted a NSFW but if you think it should have, let me know and I'll adjust this chapter. 
> 
> Pap POV continues next chapter...in Snowden. 
> 
> Artwork inspired by this Chapter:  
>   
>  Cries (NSFW) by FreshMustard  
> Love on those artists by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	118. Mini Chapter: A Warm Day in a Cold Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update comes MUCH SOONER than the last one. And hopefully it'll help explain what the heck is going on! 
> 
> Perhaps we will see traces of the infamous, Papdyne ship (Pap/Undyne)???

Papyrus rubbed his gloves together. He didn’t know how long he had been standing here in the snow but he knew he was supposed to wait for Undyne to come back. The guard dogs were still training and paying him no mind which relaxed him somewhat. They were pretty good about picking up changes and if they were acting like business as usual, then whatever Undyne wished to speak with him about couldn’t be that bad. He couldn’t feel the cold but that didn’t stop him from a small shiver of nervous anticipation. 

He stretched. He had a weird dream last night. He couldn’t quite remember all of it but there were bits and pieces. He was on the surface. Sans had helped him get his dream car and he was able to hang out with Mettaton and they were in a…dance class of some type. And there had been this human girl there. For some reason, that human girl seemed really special. He couldn’t remember her name, but he had felt almost despondent when he woke up and realized he was still in Snowdin. He wished Sans had been around to ask him about this but his brother had already snuck out.

Perhaps this had something to do with him being in the Royal Guard? It had to be. Undyne wouldn’t have left Waterfall unless it was really important. He had been training really hard for this and it felt like ianticipation t was taking forever. He was starting to doubt he would ever be employed by the Royal Family at this rate. He struck his chest. Ha! He was the Great Papyrus! There was no doubt in his mind that he would soon be a member of the Royal Guard!

“Hey, Pap! I’ve been looking for you!” He looked up from his internal pep talk to see Undyne bounding up to him in full gear, even her helmet. He saluted.

“Hello, Captain Undyne!”

Undyne laughed. “At ease, Papyrus.” She wrung her hands together as he lowered his salute. “Man, it’s really freakin cold out here!”

“Really? It’s actually a few degrees warmer today!”

“Could have fooled me.” She eyed him eagerly. “Well, are you ready for your test?”

“Eh, test?”

“Yeah. Your Royal Guard Test.”

Papyrus’ jaw nearly dropped from his skull. “Are-are you serious?”

Undyne laughed boisterously. “Well, it's just the final portion of the test. You already passed most of it yesterday!”

Papyrus gaped at her. “I did?” How could he not remember this? This was literally the most important thing in the world right now and he did not remember anything. Had his memories been reset?

“Fuhuhuhu! Pap, you're hysterical! I know it wasn't that hard for you, but pretending like it wasn't even a challenge! Ha! I like that.”

“Undyne, I uh-”

Undyne pointed to his armor. “You’re even wearing the armor!” 

Papyrus looked down. He wasn’t wearing his normal battle body. This was actual armor. Heavy armor. Still, he straightened himself out, beaming. She was serious. “Wowie, I must have done really well if I don’t remember anything.” 

“You sure did! Now ready to begin your final exam?”

He was aglow with excitement. “Absolutely!” 

“Alright! On guard!” Papyrus barely rolled to the side as Undyne lunged at him. He almost cleared her grasp but she seized his boot and slammed him into the wall of the nearby building. He briefly saw stars and looked up in confusion at his friend.

Undyne must have caught his look of confusion even through her full helmet. She placed her hands on her hips. “C’mon, you said you were ready.”

“I am. Was.” He protested.

“Then what part of ‘On Guard” did you not get?” 

“Apparently the Guard bit.” Papyrus lurched back to his feet. 

“Well, get up. Remember, you have to beat me if you want to get into the Royal Guard.” 

“Wait, are you serious?” He gasped.

“Yes, Pap. This is your final test. No magic. Just our fists and our determination!” She pounded her gauntleted fist into the ground with a roar, making the floor tremble under her might. 

He stomped his foot into the ground, making a poof noise as his boot sunk into the snow. “I’m ready!” 

“NGAHHH!!!” She charged him again. This time he was ready for her. He was-

“hey, bro.” Sans greeted from right next to him.

“Sans?” He balked. When did his brother get here? Was he messing with time and space again? “Where were you this morning? You never get up before me!” He argued. 

“had to go check on a friend. what are you and undyne doing?” 

“Oh! Well I’m in the middle of my Royal Guard test.” Papyrus felt the wind knocked out of him as Undyne full on kicked him in the chest. He staggered backwards, clutching his chest. There was a unexpected warmth at the contact and despite the cold, he could feel it seep throughout his chest. He tried to push the sensation aside. He was getting distracted. 

“You’ll never make it at this rate!” She swung at him again, this time, he deflected. He sidestepped another attempt to strike him. Wow, she was fast. 

He caught Sans sitting on the side, a line of other Monsters now gathered. It looked like he was handing out popcorn. If only he could apply that same work ethic to his guard duties! He dodged another hit from Undyne before she stomped angrily. “Stop defending and just attack!” She yelled. 

He eyed her cautiously. “You really want me to hit you?”

“Yes! Passionately! Hit me! Knock me down!” She ordered. He swung at her only for her to sidestep and elbow him. 

“c’mon, she’s got nothing on you!” Sans called out helpfully. 

And he had nothing on her. Seriously, he could only land glancing blows. “You’re too slow!” She taunted. 

“use your blue attack!” 

“Sans, I can’t use magic!” He yelled back. 

“oh, then just tie her up,” Sans suggested. 

“Sans, I can’t have a rope! That’s CHEATING!” The Royal guard in training argued. 

“okay bro, you go get her all on your own!” Sans cheered. 

Papyrus swung and struck her in her ribs. Her laugh was slightly muffled by her helmet. “Yes! Yes! Like that! Just you and me, Pap!” She hollered.

“Yeah!” He shouted back, feeling his body heating up with determination. 

“Locked in fierce combat!”

“Yeah!”

“Now take off your clothes!” 

“Yeah-what?” He stopped in his tracks. 

Undyne scoffed and pointed at him. “You think you’re going to be able to catch me in that clunky suit of armor?!”

“Well, uh, no?”

“Then strip!” He unbuckled the armor hurriedly and let it clatter to the snow. He worried that the armor was damaged but a quick check of the ground assured him that the snow wasn’t that hard. He struck an attack pose. Undyne observed him. “Feeling lighter?”

“Yes, Captain!” 

“Good. Take off your pants!” 

He felt himself color and glanced at his pants. If he took these off, he would be practically exposing himself in his jammies. “Eh, are you sure?”

“Do you want to be in the Royal Guard or not?!”

“Well, of course!” 

“What was that?” 

“Yes!” 

“I can’t hear you!” 

“YES!” 

“THEN STRIP!” She commanded. Papyrus shed his pants quickly, adrenaline overpowering his reservations. “What are you doing?” She yelled.

“Taking off my pants for the Royal Guard!” He yelled back.

“That’s right!” He folded his pants and set them aside. He turned around only for Undyne to full body tackle him to the ground. They hit the ground with a far gentler poof than he anticipated. He landed flat on his back, the Captain straddling him and pinning him down. “You’re all mine now, Papyrus!” She cackled.

“Agh! Don’t count me out yet!” He tried to push himself up but she was surprisingly resilient and found himself unable to jostle her off. She leaned in toward him, no doubt a large fanged smile beaming behind that helmet. He freed one of his hands and swung at her once more. His knuckles collided with the side of her helmet, knocking it off her head. The helmet clattered to the side, but he didn’t bother to look at where it fell. Instead, his sockets were focused solely on his assailant.

It wasn’t Undyne. Two bright eyes watched him eagerly. The face looking back at him lacked any scales. In fact, they lacked any defining features of a Monster. The face had skin. Soft looking skin. And lips that were curled into a playful smile. There was something eerily familiar about this person. “Hello, Papyrus,” the not Monster greeted. 

He swallowed. “Nyeh, Undyne, you look really different.”

The Not Monster giggled and leaned closer. “I’m not Undyne.” He felt really out of it. His bewilderment must have been rather obvious because the Not Monster smiled prettily at him. The smile made him feel like a Moldsmal.

“Are-are you here to help with my final exam?” He asked.

“Sure thing. This is a physical test, yes?”

“Yes?”

“Are you ready to continue?” It asked, soft fingers pressing his wrists against the ground. Was this a human?

“I think so, miss...?”

“You really don’t remember me?” He shook his head, his throat feeling really dry at the moment. “Maybe this will help,” the weird creature mused. Before he could stop it, the creature leaned down and planted a kiss on his teeth. 

If he wasn’t lip/teeth locked right now, his jaw would have dropped. What type of Royal Guard test was this?! Did guards kiss their superiors? Was he going to have to kiss Undyne? Wait. Was he supposed to resist? He briefly tried to pull his hands away up but small fingers intertwined with his phallenges. The touch of those small fingers felt really nice. It was almost like his body knew you even if he mentally could not.

The kiss ended and it hit him. It was you, the human from his dreams. What were you doing here in Snowden? You pulled away. “You're the human!”

“Yup.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I don't know. What do you want me to do here?”

“Well," Papyrus reasoned, "Royal Guards are supposed to capture humans. And you're a human and I'm taking my Royal Guard test. So therefore I should...capture you! Nyeh heh heh!”

“Are you sure I'm a human?” You asked with a smirk.

"Er, well you said you were.”

“I could be lying.”

“Why would you lie to me?”

“Because I could be a human.”

“But you are a human!”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, not anymore!" He huffed, still pinned. "What's a good way to find out that you're a human? I can only see your face.” He reached out with a hand experimentally against your side. “Maybe if you took off this armor I could confirm your humaness.”

“Ooh. You really want to see what I look like under the armor?”

He felt his skull color. “I just, surely you have clothes on underneath?”

You shot him a mysterious smile. “Maybe. The really question is how badly do you want to be a royal guard?”

“Badly.” He admitted. 

“Then you're just going to have to take that chance.” Papyrus began to remove the shoulder plates off of you only for you to wiggle away from his hands. 

After the third time of you doing this, he stopped. “You're not being a very easy prisoner.”

“Who said capturing a human was easy?” He sighed. 

“It would be really helpful if you could just-just…” Another attempt to grab you was met with another giggle. He deftly seized one of the shoulder plates and pulled it off, exposing naked skin underneath. His phallenges scraped along the softness of your arm as he pulled off the rest of your arm sleeve. You pulled away from him with a small gasp of pain. You appeared more fragile than he had anticipated. He took your other hand, allowing him to snag the other sleeve of armor, this time, pulling it off gently. Hie efforts were rewarded by you bucking against his hips, sending a shock through his body.

Your movement was stoking the internal warmth from earlier within him that was quickly becoming uncomfortable. And it wasn’t like a heat of the battle type of warmth. It was more of a creeping heat that quickly spread across his chest The more armor he removed from you, the more strain he felt under the heat. This felt too weird. He should probably stop. He took his hands off of you, only for the uncomfortable feeling to linger and his chest to grow cold. Which was strange because he normally didn’t feel the cold.

Perhaps you weren’t responsible for the uncomfortable sensation. But you must at least be connected to the pulsing desire to seize you again. 

Your parted lips letting out sharp pants encouraged him to grasp Undyne’s, er, your chest armor. He never fantasized about unhooking the Captain’s armor but now it was quickly becoming a priority to figure it out. His nimble fingers soon found the clasps that kept it intact and hooked them. The armor fell apart allowing him to gawk at your nearly bare, heaving chest. You were rather flushed. 

“Have-have you determined if I am a human?” You panted.

If he said yes, would this stop? Papyrus’ hands traveled down your sides, pressing into your hips. The need was nearly unbearable now. He didn’t want to stop. He looked up at you again and met your sultry eyes. It didn’t look like you did either. Impulses he didn’t even realize he had were bubbling forth.

“Nyeh heh heh heh! Not quite,” he countered lasciviously, his hands firmly grasping your shoulders. “You may appear to be a human, but do you taste like a human?” That sounded far sexier in his mind than what came out. He coughed as you stopped panting to watch him devilishly. “And by taste, I don’t mean I’m actually going to eat you. I’m just going to uh, sample you?”

You seemed to understand the gist of the idea and wiggled against him impatiently. He quickly descended, lapping and nipping at your chest. Your nipples started to show through the material and his teeth nibbled at their firming texture. You moaned, propelling him to be more forwardly aggressive with his ministrations. 

The neediness and stimulation grew the more he touched you and he was soon pressing every inch of your exposed skin against his bones. Oh god, it didn’t help that your moans grew breathier and more wanton by the second. “Please, please keep going” he groaned, thrusting against your increasingly warm sex. It felt so good. So good.

Somehow your metal leggings slipped off, leaving you in only small shorts. He didn’t remember taking them off, but at the moment he didn’t care. He grabbed your hips and ground into them, squelcing any gap between your bodies. You were whispering incomplete sentences.

“Oh God, Papyrus! You’re so good at this! And amazing! You are so good at catching humans!” You squealed, your voice raising a pitch as you rolled against his increasingly hard member. At the rate this was going, he was going to explode. 

You were shrieking his name as release neared. That discomfort would soon be gone if you could just let him push your pelvis just a bit closer to his. Oh jeez! It was so close! He was about to release.

A scaly face suddenly loomed over him, blocking his vision with a sadistic grin. “Welcome to the Royal Guard, punk!” Undyne screamed, throwing at his face just as he climaxed.

BAM!

Papyrus woke up with a startled shriek, tumbling/falling out of his bed in a tangle of sheets. He was compeltely disoriented for the first few seconds, finally escaping his sticky sheets with a tremendous kick. He latched onto the window sill and hoisted himself up, opening the window quickly to take in some chilly Snowdin air. Sure enough, a cool breeze swept over his overheated bones and he silently thanked the wind as he peered at the moon high in the sky.

“What’s the moon doing here?” He wondered aloud. He stared blankly at the white chunk of space rock for a few more seconds before realization hit like bucket of water. No. He wasn’t in Snowdin anymore. Frisk had come and now everyone lived above ground. And he was still stuck training for the Royal Guard. And Undyne hadn’t administered a final test. And you were not on top of him. And he was holding your sweater, not a piece of chest armor.

Oh, he was holding your sweater. That was, uh, normal. He must have accidentally nabbed it from underneath his pillow during his interesting dream. A dream that he felt strangely relaxed about despite it ending with a punch to the skull. He tucked the sweater back under the pillow and turned his attention toward the sheets crumpled on the ground. 

He attempted to pull up his sheets only for him to drop them as he encountered something sticky. “What is THAT?” He asked, repulsed. He picked up the sheets again, grumbling angrily under his breath. “Sans, if I find out you tried to drink soda in this room, so help me God, I will gather up every last can and throw it off a cliff. And you with it.” 

He found the residue and ran his fingers along it. It was gooey. As he pulled his fingers away, he could see a thick trail of something orange and slimey. It looked really familiar. If he was just guessing, he'd almost say it look like his, eh, ejaculation. But that would have been impossible. He had not...self gratified. The closest thing he had done was engage in some weird, strangely arousing wrestling with you, involving stripping and moaning. He then found release.

He didn't actually find release, did he? That was just in the dream, right? Then again, that pressure he had felt prior to going to bed had vanished. He flicked on his lamp and muffled a gasp. Fluorescent orange magic stained his sheets. He had found release.

He had heard of these dreams. These were known as sticky dreams? Yes. Sticky dreams. He could have sworn that sticky dreams were only supposed to be about things that made you feel sticky. So seeing Undyne and Sans in that dream as he was grinding against the human. "Oh wow, no, no no." Practice was going to be awkward enough if he saw Undyne in her armor, much less Sans snacking on some delicious baked kernals. 

Despite the fact that the magic was fading, this was rather embarrassing. He felt himself heat up despite the coolness of the evening. Even if the magic would eventually, the fact that he knew this happened would not allow him to sleep in the bed another minute. He gathered up the bedding and stealthily crept to the door. 

He would just go down, load the washing machine, get a new set of and sheets and change them. Yes, Sans would still be dead asleep so it would be no problem and he wouldn’t have to explain to anyone why he was doing laundry on Saturday when it was always done on Tuesdays.

He opened the door, stepped out and close to quietly behind him. “hey pap.”

Papyrus nearly jumped out of his boots. “Sans?!”

“you little jumpy there, bro?” The shorter skeleton asked, eyeing his brother curiously.

“I'm not jumpy. I’m just practicing my reflexive hopping ability.” He demonstrated that this was most certainly the case by hopping once more.

“you did really well.”

“Thank you. What are you doing here?” 

“in our house?”

“Here! In the hallway!” Sans should have been asleep or out. He didn’t run into him in the hallway very often.

“oh. nuthin’ much.” Sans gestured to Papyrus’ bedroom door. “did you have a good dream?”

“What?” He asked, his chest clenching. Oh God, had he said anything?

“a good dream. you just seem really relaxed.” Not anymore, he didn’t. Sans continued, “did you finally dream about taking a nap?”

“Not exactly. I was taking the final test for the Royal Guard.” He was honest.

Sans clapped his hands together. “how’d it go?”

“Very well. Undyne challenged me to a fight!” 

“wow, that sounds pretty hard.”

 

“Not really. It went very well,” he announced proudly, his chest now unclenched and swelling with pride. 

“nice.”

“Yes. She did get the drop on me initially,” he admitted, “but I was able to defend myself quite admirably.”

“did you use your blue attack?”

“No. We decided no magic.” 

“cool. was i there?”

“Yes, actually. You were selling popcorn.” 

“nice.”

“Yes, I would say the whole thing was rather cool,” he gloated

“is that why you were yelling earlier?”

He stopped gloating. “What?”

“yeah, you were yelling about how you needed to keep going or taste something…?”

"Ah."

"i almost thought you said something about taking off your pants?"

Papyrus tried to remain very calm. It wasn't easy. “Oh, well, it was a pretty intense dream.” 

"huh. gotcha."

He sighed, “I have to admit, the human really threw me off.”

“the human? oh, frisk?”

“No, I mean...uh.” Papyrus feigned ignorance. He was pretty sure he was successful. “No. Just a human.”

“okay.”

“Regular old human,” he clarified.

“uh huh.”

“Nothing special or unique about them.” Nailed it.

“gotcha. so why the laundry?”

“What laundry?”

“the sheets in your hands,” Sans asked, yawning, “isn’t laundry day on tuesday?”

“Ye-how do you know that?” 

“welp, the ball of sheets on my bed look more ironed on tuesdays.”

“Figures. But yes, uh, the sheets. That I have in my hand. There’s a funny story about that. See, uh, in my dream battle, it was rather intense. Lots of explosions, punches, grappling. A mess was to be expected.”

“makes sense.” God, what a tangled web of truth and yet not truth he was weaving. He should go before he slipped up somehow. 

“Yes. Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“who came out on top?”

He swallowed. “What-what type of question is that?”

“i mean, who won?”

“Uh, me. I mean, of course I won.” He needed to get this laundry done stat.

“okay, just checking. i was going to go down and get a snack. you want anything?” Sans offered, walking toward the stairs.

“A snack? Sans, don’t be ridiculous! It’s midnight!” He argued.

“suit yourself.”

“How could you be hungry?” Papyrus asked before a lightbulb went off in his skull, “Wait a minute. Wasn’t I supposed to cook for you tonight?”

Sans froze. “uh…”

“Ugh! How selfish of me! Falling asleep and battling a beautiful phantom human while my poor brother is forced to forage for substandard cuisine!” Truly, this was the worst! 

“uh, it’s alright, pap. don’t worry about it,” Sans tried to assuage the now distraught skeleton.

“No, no. I insist! Nyeh heh heh heh! Come, Sans! Let me just pop these sheets in the washer and then I shall prepare for you a feast that will absolutely overhaul your palate!” 

“no doubt.,” Sans sighed, following his now energetic younger brother down the stairs.

“Yes! You shall remember it for days!” Papyrus cackled, “Or at least until we run out of leftovers!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No reset for now. Just fun awkward dreams featuring his brother and his best friend. No awkward feelings later. :D
> 
> Love on those artists by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	119. Cappuccino Time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Happy Friday! Hope everyone doesn't have to work tomorrow....like me. 
> 
> But omg, we have new fanart! Fresh Mustard's [Cries (NSFW)](https://sta.sh/01c74m8e1uaz) from Chapter 117! Go check it out! It's cute, it's sexy, what are you waiting for, send the mustard some love!!

You woke up Sunday and immediately stretched as wide as you could. Your mobility had certainly been obstructed by your manacles yesterday and it was nice to finally be able to extend your limbs to their full potential. “Man, I forgot how good that feels,” You chuckled. Your chuckling died down. Huh, you didn’t remember it being so quiet in the mornings. Shrugging off the observation, you rose to your feet and made a motion to walk away when you noticed your sheets were not made. You didn’t make them often, but you felt compelled to do it this morning. So, well, you did. Sorta. A for Effort, yah? Cool.

You walked out into the restroom and decided you weren’t feeling up to cooking breakfast just yet. Cereal sounded pretty good. You pulled out two bowls and paused. “Doh,” you gaffed, putting the other one back. You only needed one silly. Man you better go make yourself a cup of coffee. But just for yourself. Papyrus didn’t drink coffee.

You stopped. “The fuck?” That skeleton had been in your apartment for less than a day. Hell, probably even a shorter amount of time than what happened when he had to bring you home after the Doggo Incident. You poured yourself a bowl of cereal, added milk, grabbed the coffee and quickly sat down before your mind could wander further.

Be reasonable. Every fiber of your scorned womanhood should have been screaming and venting against his antics. Yet, they didn’t. In fact, even the idea of still resenting him for this just seemed mentally and physically exhausting. Not to mention, just kinda dumb at this point. Yeah, he stood you up but you had accepted his explanation. Were you perfect either? Nope. Not even close. You had been a raging psycho bitch more than a couple of times.

But this, what you were doing now. This was weird. You weren’t this absentminded usually. To be honest, your relationship then versus what it was/might be now had drastically changed. So that might distract you a bit. Crap. You were his friend. You weren’t supposed to set out extra dishes for friends who were not over. Unless…

He had been fun to have over. Even if it was uncomfortable.

~~~~~

Your fingers rested on the outside of your phone. Were you hundred percent sure about this? No. But you were 97% sure and that was good enough for you. You dialed Papyrus and waited patiently for him to pick up.

He did not disappoint. “Hello again! How are you?”

He sounded much more awake this time. “Hello! I am well.” You paused and wiggled your leg, “Uh, got to stretch a bit. Haha. How about you? Sounds like you slept well?”

“I, uh, yes. I slept well. Yes, thank you for asking. I agree that stretching without the risk of dismembering your friends is always a plus.”

“Yeah,” you couldn’t help but agree, “It certainly is.” You pursed your lips and realized your spare hand was starting to twirl your hair nervously. “Hey, uh, so you’re probably wondering why I’m calling?”

“I just naturally assumed you like to hear my voice.” The tension vanished instantly and you practically busted out laughing.

“Okay, okay, okay. Yes! Maybe. But uh, I also wanted to ask you a question.” You pulled your hair. Fuck it. “Could-could we start practicing outside of class?” You blurted out.

There was silence and for a moment you panicked thinking you had hung up the phone, only for an excited squeal to break out from his end. “Of course! It would give me great pleasure!”

“Oh good. So, where do you want me to meet you?”

“I will pick you up from work!”

“I-uh?”

“Nyeh, unless you don’t want me to? I understand."

“No, no. That’s fine actually. I was just thinking about leaving my car.”

“Ah! Well, I could pick you up from your home if you like instead?”

“Meh, we'll figure something out.” You paused, a stray thought entering your mind. “Uh, actually, speaking of cars, would you mind checking yours? I think I forgot a bag in there.”

There was a pause. “You..forgot?”

You groaned. “Yeah. With everything that happened, I kind of forgot GD and I even went to the pet store in the first place.”

“GD? As in Greater Dog?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” There was a shuffle. “So, not to be nosy, but are you getting a dog?”

“No,” you answered, feeling yourself heat up. “Uh, he and I went on a date.”

There was an uncomfortable pause. “Ah. Wow.”

“Yeah, don't think we are going out again though.”

“Oh, no. That's not it. Uh, I just don’t know how to say this.”

“Say what?”

“Well, you might want to get checked.”

You blanked out. “Get...checked?” Good God, did he think you guys fucked?

“Yes, oh gee. I was really hoping he would have told you. He has fleas.”

“Fleas?”

“Yes, I’m so sorry. But not to worry, I will be here to help you along your long, arduous path to recovery.”

You bit your finger to keep from laughing. You scoffed. “Yeah, I’ll just take a hot shower. I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, well that works too then I guess. Have you gotten back your car?”

“No, not yet. Hopefully Mettaton will drop off my car at some point today.” Hopefully.

“Ah yes! He said he had a surprise for you since you were so kind as to not press charges about crashing the car again.”

“He did what now?”

He quickly changed the topic. “I look forward to seeing you soon, cookie bits!”

You nodded. “Hahaha, sure th-what did you call me?” You were a bit befuddled to say the least.

There was a knock at your apartment door. “Nyeh! There’s the door!” The skeleton’s voice called from the phone, “You should answer that!”

“Wait, Pap?” You had so many questions.

“Bye!” The phone disconnected and you sighed. Well that was a can of worms you would need to reopen at some point. But for now, the door was your first priority. You opened it and were nearly bowled over by an enthusiastic Mettaton.

“I just heard the news, sweetheart!” Mettaton barged in, holding a few bundles within his robotic arms.

“Uh, hello to you too?” You managed to say, recovering from nearly getting knocked over. “What news?”

“Oh, how you and Papyrus will continue to practice dance outside of class.”

Shit. You don’t know how he heard so quickly, considering it happened 35 seconds ago. “Yeah, I don’t know how you know that.”

“A Monster has his ways. I expect to see less comments from him on my fan page, but I completely understand considering the circumstances.”

Circumstances? You paused. Upon seeing the mechanical Monster, you remembered that the two did have some sort of relationship going (enough to warrant kissing). You tested the water. "Is this going to be a problem for you?”

Now it was Mettaton’s turn to look puzzled. “I don’t imagine it would be, why do you ask?”

“Well, since you know you guys are maybe dating and all,” you started slowly.

Mettaton threw back his monitor and laughed. “My dear, is that what you think has been going on? No, no, no. Papyrus and I are not seriously dating. As a beloved celebrity, as much as I would love to spend more time with him, I just don’t have the schedule for a long-term romantic relationship, despite his charming nature. No, no." He chuckled softly. "He and I have a much different...arrangement,” He mused, his screen dimming briefly.

“Arrangement?”

“Goodness, you must be having a rough morning, having to parrot everything I say!” He drew you into a sympathetic hug that nearly crushed you. “Perhaps you and I should go get a cappuccino dear, it would be a nice break. We could even call it a date if your boyfriend wouldn’t mind seeing you out with a star.” He let go of you, allowing you to breath once more.

“Boyfriend? What boyfriend?” You coughed.

“Did I not hear correctly that you were supposed to meet a certain human for cider tasting?” Shit, you had forgotten about that. You pulled out your phone, about to dial Jeremy to reschedule that when you stopped.

Now that you were going to be meeting Papyrus every day now, you probably wouldn’t have time to meet with Jeremy until after class ended. It would be cruel to lead him on for that long. And although you knew you should feel bad, for some reason the thought of not dating Jeremy wasn’t too disheartening. “I, uh, I am not going out with him.”

“And does he know that?” Mettaton asked.

You paused. “Uh…no. I suppose I should tell him.”

“Good call. Any reason you are not going out with him anymore?”

Many reasons now. You tried to lie. “Well, I won’t have time to go out with him.”

Mettaton shifted his purse. “Come on, dear. Let’s go get a cappuccino together.”

You tried to protest but the robot had already grabbed your car keys and was heading out the door again. “Son of a bitch is gonna crash my car again,” you realized before running after him.

~~~~~

You sat at a really fancy parlor, awkwardly staring at a cup made out of mother pearl and holding a spoon shaped to look like a leaf. Mettaton looked absolutely at home, his arm over the back of the empty chair beside him. “Why am I here?” You finally asked.

Mettaton stretched. “Well, I figured the three of us could use a little break. Give us some time to clear our heads.”

“The three of us?”

“Oh, pardon me. This is my cousin,” Mettaton gestured to the empty chair next to him. You were about to question his sanity when sure enough a ghostly spectral wavered into assistance. He regarded you quietly.

“Oh. Hey. I’m Lori,” you greeted.

“Oh. Hi. I’m Nappstablook.”

You paled. “I’m sorry?"

The ghost sighed. “Nappstablook.” The look on your face must have given something away because the ghost sighed once more. “It’s a family name.”

Mettaton glared at you. “A PROUD family name.”

You waved your hands out. “No, no! It’s not that! I just heard your name recently and uh, didn’t know it was you.”

“You did? Wonderful! Where did you hear it? Was it from Shyren and his latest mix tape? That’s not due to come out for at least another month or so!” The robot host inquired.

You bit your lip. Think, dammit think. “I think I heard Alphys say it.”

Good save. The ghost nodded. “No doubt.”

You laughed with Mettaton. “So, uh, why are we all here?”

“Like I said, a break from everything.” You glanced at Nappstablook and Mettaon followed your optics. “Ah. Well, I need you to resign some paperwork for…legal reasons.”

You glanced at the paperwork and groaned. “You know what, fuck it. My life is too fucking complicated to read at this point.” You signed off the paperwork, ignoring the click of a camera as Napstablook took a photo of the act with his cellphone. You finished and pushed the paperwork back to the Monsters. “What did I just sign away?”

“Just permission to use your likeness in film.”

“Goodie. Is it any good?”

“Of course.”

“Then great. Good break, I gotta get back and figure out what I’m doing as far as Jeremy is concerned.”

“What are you planning to do?”

You opened your mouth to shoot off something snarky only to realise you had no idea what to say. So you closed it. “I-I don’t know,” you finally admitted. He motioned for you to sit down and this time you did without a fight+. You picked up your cup and sipped quietly.

Mettaton hummed. “Whenever I’m in a bind as far as plot, I always like to sit down and shoot some ideas with someone. Mainly a board of specialists with vast degrees and experience in cinemaphotography.” You glanced at both of them and raised an eyebrow. “Well, Nappy and I used to act all the time, so we’re even more useful than people with degrees.”

You eyed them both and then sighed. “Well, at this point, I’ve got a few options. Go out with him…but considering what I’ve found out about him, getting my foot cut off sounds better than that.” Mettaton nodded. You sipped again. “I guess I could just ghost him.”

“…Ghost him?”

“You know, vanish on him without telling him why or anything.” Mettaton and Napstablook hesitated.

“I didn’t know that it had an actual name,” Napstablook admitted.

“You know, not all ghosts just up and leave. Usually they leave a note, or a diary or something!” Mettaton argued.

Napstablook sighed. You shrugged. “So, you’re saying I should give him closure?”

“It doesn’t have to be a diary,” Mettaton relented.

“I mean, should I call him?” You paused.

“I think it’d be more dra-perhaps he deserves a face to face response?” Mettaton corrected himself.

You groaned. “You’re right. You’re right. Gotta be a big girl about this. Maybe I can catch him before class tomorrow.” You cleared your throat. “But first, give me my goddamn car keys.”

“Oh right.”

You yanked them out of his metallic hand and glanced at them. “Did you do anything to my car?”

“Other than repair it?”

“Yes.”

“Do you see anything different?”

“…No.”

“Good.”

You gave him a hard glare. “I know you did something. And I’m not going to find out until it’s too late, am I?”

“Probably.”

You shook your head. “Dammit. Alright, well, I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow.” You stood up and paused. “Uh, for what it’s worth, thank you. You know, for…well…”

“Making your life chaotic enough for you to truly see what’s important in life?”

“Sure. If you put it like that, then yes.”

“So, what are you and Pappy going to do?” He asked eagerly.

You bit your lip. “Well, knowing what I know now…” And doing what you did, “Practice every day like he wanted.”

Mettaton quickly opened up a compartment and began to fish around. “Darling, since you’re serious about this, I want you to have this,” Mettaton cooed, handing you a slip of paper that he fished out. “I want you to look up this instructor. She goes by M. Fantastic coach. Call her, and tell them I sent you. They’ll help you find your dancing feet.”

“Uh…thanks. He and I will just take it one day at a time for now.”

“Fair enough. Call me if you need help.”

“Oh, you’ve done enough,” you laughed. You turned to Napstablook. “It was nice to meet you as well.”

“Sure.”

You evacuated to your car and after a quick check to confirm it would not explode, hopped in. You turned on the radio and began the drive home, drowning out the news story playing. 

“Just going to take this one step at a time,” you told yourself, smiling at the word play. You reached for the steering wheel only to freeze. Fucker. You know what Mettaton messed with. “That goddamn robot messed with my seat settings!” You swore, “Dammit, this is going to take me forever to figure out. Dammit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monday comes and we know what we must do. 
> 
> Talk to Jeremy.
> 
> ...got any advice?
> 
> As always, give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	120. Changing it Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience guys! I really appreciate it!
> 
> Forgive the typos in this chapter. I finally have reliable internet! :D

“They found her off of Arroyo Avenue.”

You sighed, trying not to listen to the clients speaking in front of you as you took the heart rate of their cat. 

“Same marks?” 

“Same marks.” You gave up on the heart rate and counted breaths per minute, trying to remain stoic.

You were only twenty five minutes into your shift. And already it was turning to be a bust. Another attack, this time closer to where you lived. Still, you concentrated on the cat which had been brought in, possibly blocked. The cat began making biscuits. It was hard to count breathing.

“And she doesn’t remember a thing?” 

“Not a thing. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to buy a taser.” 

“Do you really think a taser would stop a Monster?” 

A Monster? You kept quiet.

“What do you mean? They don’t know if it’s a Monster.”

“The attacks started just as they surfaced. You can’t tell me it was just random chance that this started happening just as they surfaced.”

“Oh my Gosh, you’re right. I didn’t think about that. And they have magic! What can we use against that?” The two women were starting to work themselves up. Crap. You didn’t need another case of hysteria in this tiny exam room. 

“Maybe we could…I don’t know.” 

“What?”

“Well, some of those companies are making those things that, you know, stop that stuff.”

“What do you mean?”

“The magic stu-Oh, Harold! No! Don’t pee!” 

You jerked to attention as you realized that the cat had stood up and was in the process of a massive piss. You quickly pulled away to avoid the yellow river as the feline practically purred with the satisfaction of emptying the bladder. It was a solid 45 seconds of pee before the cat relaxed and sank back into the towel, appearing far more relaxed than it had been three minutes ago.

One of the women coughed. “I-I guess Harold isn’t blocked anymore?” 

~~~~~

Even with your best efforts, there was still the faint smell of cat pee in that particular room. You were hoping it would air out after lunch but unfortunately this was not the case and you had to use it to demonstrate fluid therapy on an elderly cat. Thankfully, that cat appeared to be incontinent and the smell of urine eventually faded from your mind. 

You went to work attempting to clear out the urine smell once more after ushering the clients out. It was only after you lifted up the magazine basket did you realize that the Hospital must have gotten the newest editions of magazines. You wouldn’t have paid it much thought until you realized that there was no picture of a pet on the cover. Instead it was a hot pink magazine with the words “The Elite Woman” emblazoned in front. That magazine name rang a bell. You were pretty sure you saw that at the grocery stores but you could have sworn you heard it somewhere else lately. You picked up the magazine and glanced at the cover. 

“25 of the Hottest and Nottest Eats Sunset City has To Offer P.26”

Hmm. You were starting to go out more often. Perhaps you could pretend to be popular. Or at least know of the popular spots. You checked your surroundings. No vet breathing down your neck just yet. You flipped through it until you reached page 26. You read quietly to yourself. 

“Looking for some of the hottest eats in Sunset City? Don’t want that guy you’ve been scooping on catching you at some lame joint? Well look no further than here, girlfriends! Stellar journalist Chelsea has scoped out some of the most talked about places and-Chelsea?!” Your eyes quickly darted to the corner of the page. 

Sure enough, there was that bitc-uh, old classmate of yours. Smiling with a duck face. Christ. That wasn’t popular anymore…or was it. Oh God. Should you have been doing more duckfaces? 

No, no, you were getting distracted. Didn’t Chelsea go to review Jeremy’s place? The night that you almost broke her wrist. And most likely screwed the entire restaurant. Uh, uh, fuck what was the name again? Something French. 

“Hey!” You nearly jumped out of your skin as another tech barked at you from the hallway. “I need help with X-rays,” she ordered. 

“Right, right. Coming,” you agreed sheepishly, following her into the back. You paused as you saw Tim sitting down at one of the stations with a cup of coffee, playing with his phone. You pointed at him. “Why didn’t you ask him?

“I’m on my 10,” he explained.

“He’s on his 10,” she repeated, handing you the lead apron. 

“Right, right, got it the first time.” 

Tim gestured to the magazine. “Hey, I didn’t know we get Elite Women.” 

“Neither did I.” A light bulb went off in your head. “Hey! Hey, I need you to read something for me!” You asked, eagerly thrusting the magazine into his hands. 

“But, this is my 10.” 

“Please?” 

“Why don’t you use your 10?”

“I already used it.” You were already on the home stretch as far as work was concerned. Only 3 more hours. 

Tim shrugged. “Whatever, it’s better than Boozfeed at the moment.” He set his phone down and began to read. You waited patiently for him to say anything but he said nothing. You wondered if he was actually reading until you saw him flip a page. 

“Wait, wait! Read it out loud!” You exclaimed, placing your arms under the Rottweiler that stood by the x-ray table. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” You answered more forcefully that you intended as the dog proceeded to flail as you lifted him into the air.

“Alright, well uh, let’s see.” He cleared his throat. “And that doesn’t even account for the restrooms! You might as well call it a pig pen! Maybe they should hire a bathroom butler so he can make sure those big girls get out of there in a timely manner. Nothing’s worse than having to wait for a fatty to apply powder to her nostrils!” 

“Dude, what the fuck?” You gaped. 

“That’s what it says!” Tim argued. 

“That’s a review?!” 

“X-Ray!” 

“Yeah. Were you looking for something specific?” 

“Did she review a French place?” 

“Not that I can see yet, but she did review some place called Harold’s Hoagies and said that ‘even the largest sausages were too small for an adventurous girl but the waiters were yummilicious.’”

“French, Tim! French!” You 

“Right. Uh…Mangez bien?”

No, that didn’t sound right. You rolled the dog onto his back to get a shot of his abdomen. “No, that’s not it.”

“Tacchelli’s?”

“No, that’s Italian. What did she-actually, no, don’t tell me what she said about that place.”

“Yeah, uh, Paco’s Tacos?”

“You’re going in the opposite direction there.”

“Right. Uh. Well, there’s one here called, uh, Le Grand Vefour?”

“Yes! That’s it! That’s it! What did she write?” You were right between the dog’s legs. You really hoped he didn’t fart. 

“Let’s see uh, ‘Located in Central Downtown, this French restaurant has been established for the last 23 years, making it a hotspot for the elite, movie stars and diplomats. With an extensive menu true to authentic French cuisine and wide selection of both old and new budding wineries, this place is worth the visit if you can get in the front doors.’ ”

He stopped. You waited a few moments. He didn’t continue. “And?”

“And what?” 

“What else did she write?” 

“Nothing.”

“X-ray!” The second shot fired.

Your mouth gaped, probably eating a couple rays of radiation. “What do you mean nothing?” 

“Well, the list continues but otherwise it's a normal review.”

It wasn't normal. “Nothing about a fight or excessive drinking or…?” 

Tim shot you an odd look. “No…know something I don’t?”

You bit your lip. “Well, I-”

“Shit!” The other tech yelled as the dog jumped off the table. The massive mutt tumbled into you both and it was only by the grace of God that someone didn’t crack their skull on the cabinet behind the table. You were disoriented only for a few moments before something wet and slimy was licking your face. 

“Oh God, no! Ugh! No!” You spat, pushing off the friendly dog that had just knocked you flat on your ass. Laughter filled the tech area as you groaned.

Well, that could have gone better. 

~~~~~

Work had ended much faster than you thought it would. Which was merciful since you were having a hard time living down the wet kisses you received earlier. You had stripped off your scrub top and changed into your separate clothes. You just barely finished slipping your tennis shoes back on when Tim came to find you. “Hey, Pap is here.”

“Hmm,” you nodded. 

“You don’t seem surprised?” 

“I was expecting him.”

“And you’re not going to run from him?”

“No, not this time.” 

“Oh. Then you better go get him. I told him you were climbing the gate again.” You looked up to see him smiling devilishly.

“Dammit, Tim!”

“Don’t take my 10 next time!” He called after you as you scooped up all your shit and walked outside. 

Sure enough, Papyrus has been waiting patiently in front of the gate that, just last week, you had tried to climb to get away from him. And now you were willingly approaching him. 

He greeted you enthusiastically. “Hello! Are you ready for our super cool practice session?” 

“You bet I am!” You answered just as enthusiastically.

Papyrus pulled out his phone. “I was hoping we could make it to Undyne’s place for practice but I don’t think we will have enough time to practice once we get there.” 

You bit your lip. “You know, we could always go to the ballroom early,” you suggested, “it is open to the public and we could see if there is an empty classroom or something.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” 

~~~~~

In the end, you both opted to drive your own cars there. By the time class ended it would be dark and it would be safer for you to drive straight from the ballroom instead of going back to work and then home. Papyrus had been unaware of the latest attack, you later found out, and you explained briefly the situation when you finally arrived at the ballroom. 

Papyrus regarded the story with concern. “Human, would you like it if I accompanied you in your evening travels?” He asked, following you into the large ballroom.

You shook your head. “Thank you, but I’m alright. I’d kind of feel like a prisoner if someone had to constantly follow me.” You spotted a door leading to an empty classroom and headed in that direction. 

“You could consider it like being a very important person with a cool bodyguard?” He offered helpfully as you twisted one of the door knobs. 

You couldn’t help but agree as you opened the door. “I suppose, but the day comes that I need a bodyguard, I think that’d be it for me.” You paused in the doorway. “Oh, uh, hi? Sorry, is this your room?”

In the middle of what was supposed to be an empty classroom, stood a gaunt, spindly woman. She was dressed entirely in black, even the shawl she had draped around her thin arms made her skin appear almost snow-like compared to the material. Sharp beady eyes studied you both and you felt a shiver go down your spine. 

“You’re late.”

You blinked. “What?”

You didn’t even see her taut lips move. “You’re late.” You still didn’t see them move.

Papyrus cleared his throat. “Oh, we’re sorry about that. I didn’t realize we were late for anything.”

You waved Papyrus silent. “Hold up, I think you have the wrong students.”

She regarded you both sternly. “You are not Lori and Papyrus?” The skeleton and you exchanged confused glances.

“We are.” 

“Then let us begin. We do not have much time.” She pointed to the floor and you both hesitantly walked to it. The click of heels echoed in the empty classroom as she circled you both critically. “Get into dance position. Quickly now.” You exchanged looks with the skeleton who shrugged before you both assumed position. The woman cleared her throat. “Are you in middle school?”

“What’s middle school?”

The woman did not answer but instead pushed you into Papyrus, physically connecting your bodies. If you hadn’t just been handcuffed together for a weekend, this might have been more invasive than you would have preferred. And part of you wanted to push back off of him and turn to give her a piece of your mind. Still, you kinda wanted to know who the hell this woman was and remained pressed against him. 

“I’m sorry, who are you?” You managed far more politely than you thought you would have been able. 

The woman spared a glance at you. “I am M.”

M? The card Mettaton had handed you flashed in your mind and you blinked in surprise. “O-oh.” So this was the instructor he was talking about. The instructor that you in no way had contacted whatsoever and therefore should not have met you here. Did you question this?

Papyrus beamed at the thin woman. “It is very nice to meet you, M!” Papyrus greeted.

“Likewise.” 

No, no, you did not question this. Mettaton knew and saw all. Escape was impossible. You should know this by now. Your thoughts had been preoccupied by this stranger long enough and you finally remembered the position you were in. You had not been this close to a guy, well, for non sex purposes…in a really long time. Papyrus seemed equally unsure of the position for dancing. “Perhaps we should practice with some distance between us?” He suggested.

M shook her hand. “The Argentian tango is a dance of seduction and provocation. A performance where a couple becomes one and must dance as one. This dance cannot thrive with…distance.”

“Oh.” You both shifted uncomfortably in eachothers’ arms. M walked over to a cd player and pressed the play button.

“Begin.” The sound of something unfamiliar played and you froze. “Go on.” Papyrus attempted to step forward only to bump into you awkwardly.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, fuck, that’s my fault. Hold on, let me.”

“Nyeh!” 

“Crap.”

The music cut off and you both looked over in embarrassment at the woman. She was shaking her head. “For God’s sake, have you not been practicing?”

“Well, uh, we’re in a group class. We only meet three times a week,” you tried to explain.

Her eyes narrowed. “Unacceptable. Who is your instructor?”

“You!” Everyone looked toward the door. Emilio stood, completely rigid in the doorway, face contorted with barely veiled contempt. 

M’s eyes narrowed. “Of course, I should have known it was you. Your students know very little.” 

“You’re the one who gave me shit students stuck us all in a small classroom…Martha.”

“Oh shit,” you mumbled as the two instructors stared daggers at each other. 

Papyrus laughed awkwardly. “Well! I am so glad we all know each other! Perhaps this could be the first step in establishing even greater friendship mentoring relationships!” 

Even his optimism could not disarm the situation. Martha stared down Emilio and vice versa. The air was so tense that if a pin dropped, they would most likely fight to the death.

Emilio spoke first. “Why don’t you both go to class? Martha and I need to…talk.”

Papyrus raised a hand. “Are you sure you don’t want us to practice more?”

You grabbed his hand before he could say anything and dragged him out of the room, quickly shutting the door behind you. You both held your breath as nothing but silence greeted you. After two seconds, the sounds of screaming and chairs being thrown erupted from the room you just retreated from. Papyrus glanced inside.

“Wow, they, uh, must really be passionate about dancing.” 

“More like psychotic, but yes,” you quickly urged, pulling him away from the shaking door. You didn’t stop walking until you reached the main ballroom, still dusty from disuse. You let out a sigh. “Well, so much for practicing ahead of time, huh?”

Papyrus nodded. “I suppose we can go wait outside for Sans to arrive.”

You were about to agree when you remembered one of the reasons you were nervously here int eh first place. “Actually, I have to go talk with someone real quick. I’ll meet you in class, okay?” 

“Of course!” The skeleton quickly departed via the front entrance and you walked toward the classroom. The one you were supposed to go to. Not the crazy one with the screaming people.

You had barely entered the classroom when you felt yourself practically enveloped in a hug from behind. You couldn’t help but freeze when you spotted that the arms wrapped around you had flesh on them. It was only a few seconds too long that before you were released and you quickly spun around to see who had done this to you. 

It was Jeremy. He smiled broadly. “Hi there, sugar.”

You blanched. “Uh..hey!” Mettaton’s words reverberated in your mind. “Hey, actually, we need to talk.”

“Sure.”

You eyed the other classmates congregating in the classroom. “Uh, maybe somewhere private.”

His eyes lit up and you hesitated. “Oh, absolutely. I think there was an empty classroom back there.”

“Uh, not anymore.” You pointed in the general direction of the classroom in question.

“I was wondering where the screaming was coming from,” Jeremy mused, “Hang on, I know another one. Let’s go.” 

No one seemed to notice your absence so you nodded and followed him out of the classroom. Sure enough, you soon entered an intact, empty classroom and he shut the door after you with a click. You shifted uncomfortably in the silence. 

“Hey uh, so uh Jer Bear, listen I was hanging out with Papyrus when we were handcuffed together and uh...Man this is going to be weird, but did you tell him you and I were a couple?”  
Jeremy froze for only the briefest of seconds before sighing. 

“Kinda.”

“Kinda?”

Jeremy scratched his head. “Yeah, uh it seemed like a good idea at the time. You know how the protestors have started showing up, I mean if word got around that you were my girlfriend, people wouldn't bother you because my family has resources to protect us.”

You rubbed your forehead worriedly. “Okay, uh I get that. But that's dumb. Really dumb. And weird.”

He stiffened but the smile remained on his face. “I'm just trying to protect you, I mean, damn, Lori. You're not getting this.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Listen, I am doing you a huge favor. You know those people that keep showing up outside of the ballroom? Those are protestors. Anti monster people, okay? If they even think for a second that a human is involved with a monster, I guarantee something bad will happen.”

You crossed your arms. “So you think telling people we’re in a relationship will make them think otherwise?”

“Well, yeah!” 

“You’re stupid.” You started to walk back towards the door but Jeremy quickly stepped in front of you.

He held out his hands. “You know, I’d thought you’d appreciate what I’m doing for you.” 

You raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“I mean not only was this going to keep you from getting harassed, this was keeping your ex from bothering you.” Your eyes widened but you didn’t know what to say. Jeremy used your silence to continue. “Instead, you’re undoing everything. Everything I’ve done.”

“Everything you’ve done?” You echoed. You felt a lump in your throat. “What have you done?”

“Uh…” He hesitated. There was a nagging, crazy feeling bothering you now. 

“Jeremy…what did you do?” Maybe if you voiced your feeling out loud, it wouldn’t sound so crazy. You swallowed and smiled weakly. “We-Papyrus and I-we talked about our third date. How everything went wrong and he kept saying he had the wrong dating book.” He tensed even more. You bit your lip. “Jeremy, did you give him the wrong book?”

He held out his hands. “Lori, listen.”

Your eyes widened. Your throat tightened. “Jeremy, please, why aren’t you saying no?” This was your best friend in high school. You shared lunches together. You complained about parents together. He let you cry on his shoulder when you were dumped and you let him cry on yours when Sephiroth killed Aeris. You could predict him but now his expression was a mystery to you. “You were-are my best friend. Please tell me you didn’t.”

You were caught off guard as he pulled you into a tight hug. For a moment, you couldn’t breath. You were shaking. No. It wasn’t you. It was him. You could feel him trembling. He pulled away quickly, holding you by the shoulders. 

“Lori, I swear to God, I did not give him the wrong book,” he swore, his eyes meeting yours. You looked deep into his eyes. You saw the chubby high schooler looking back at you. The same one you knew back then who brought peanut butter jelly sandwiches with the crust cut off. You finally exhaled. 

“Thank you.”

He broke into a small smile. “Not going to lie, I’m still hopelessly in love with you, but I’m not going to stoop to sabotage.” 

Oh good Lord, he did not just say that. You laughed awkwardly. “Let’s go back to class.” You started to walk back to the door.

“Actually,” Jeremy interrupted, stepping in front of you, forcing you to stop, “I want to ask you something.”

“Oh. Sure.”

“Why are you doing this to yourself?”

You blinked. “I don’t, you mean the dance lessons?”

“No, I mean, throwing yourself at every guy you meet. Seriously, it’s really pathetic.”

“I’m not throwing myself at every guy,” you argued, feeling yourself tense.

“Did you sleep with him?”

“What?” 

“Did you just throw your legs open for him? Tell him to have at it?” Jeremy pressed, his smile gone. 

You swallowed hard. Those words didn’t feel good, especially coming from him. You handled it maturely. “Fuck you, Jeremy. I’m leaving.” He didn’t move. You didn’t like how he was looking at you. The air felt tense and you started to have a bad feeling. Should you call for someone?

The door opened and you both jumped up and looked to see who was there. Toriel stood in the doorway. “Excuse me, children, but the class is starting.” She looked between you two and her eyebrows knotted. “Is everything alright?”

“We’re just talking. She’ll be there soon,” Jeremy muttered.

Toriel shook her head, walking in. “It will have to wait until after class. Come along now.” She placed a paw behind your back and gently led you out of the room. You could feel yourself visibly relaxing as you walked out, leaving Jeremy alone in the room.

~~~~~

You reentered the dance practice and blinked. Emilio was not here. “Hold up, where’s the instructor?” You asked. 

Toriel glanced around. “He’s not here yet it seems.” 

“think the teach has finally flown the coop?” You turned to see Sans and Papyrus approached you both.

Papyrus groaned. “He doesn’t drive a coop. It’s a Buick.” Sans snorted and even Toriel cracked a smile at the insistence. 

“Good evening, Sans. How was the conference?” She finally asked.

Sans smiled. “pretty good. met an organic chemistry scientist who was having alkynes of problems with their presentation.”

Toriel’s smile widened. “Oh really?”

“yup. alphys did good though. i tried to give her some good chemistry jokes but all the good ones argon it seems.”

The Queen tittered. “I’m surprised you didn’t mention the scientist who was frozen to absolute zero?”

Sans’ brow knitted in confusion. “there was? how’s he doing?”

“Oh, he’s O K.” Sans’ confusion melted into admiration. The tension was melting faster than your resolve to keep listening to these puns.

He gestured to you and Papyrus, the latter of which was trying not to throttle his brother. “heard these guys got into a bind last weekend?” 

The younger skeleton stopped trying to throttle his brother and instead blushed. “Yes, ah, I was attempting to use a new training device with the human and it did not work as expected.”

Sans eyed you both. “you sure about that?” 

You exchanged a confused expression with your partner. “What do you mean by that?” 

Before Sans could answer, the door slammed open so hard, the glass nearly broke. There stood Emilio, his clothing torn and a fresh bruise on his cheek. 

“ALRIGHT! EVERYONE! LISTEN UP!” He hollered, his voice even more shrill than normal as he stomped in, “THINGS JUST GOT REAL.”

Everyone exchanged nervous looks as Emilio grabbed a sharpie and began to write on the wall. “WE ARE OFFICIALLY IN THIS YEAR’S EXHIBITION!” 

“Exhibition?” Toriel asked, the only one brave enough to question the suddenly very erratic man. 

“YES! YES! IN TWO WEEKS! YOU ALL WILL BE PERFORMING FOR SUNSET CITY’S FINEST!” 

Mettaton shrieked something that wasn’t even English. 

The instructor did not pay any attention, continuing to write on the wall. “THERE WILL BE LIGHTS!”

“YES!”

“MUSIC!”

“YES!”

“COSTUMES!”

“OH YESS!” 

“AND ABOVE ALL-THE PRESS!”

Mettaton swooned into Frisk’s arms who, despite how determined he was, was no match for Mettaton’s weight and collapsed underneath the robot. An alarmed Toriel quickly left to rescue her son as the instructor cackled. “AND WHEN WE FINISH, MARTHA WILL EAT HER POINTY WITCH SHOES!” He finished scrawling the information on the wall. “THREE SATURDAYS FROM NOW, YOU WILL BE ON THAT STAGE AND YOU WILL MAKE ME PROUD!” 

“We don’t have class on Saturday,” some student called out. 

“It’s not class! It’s a performance of a lifetime!” Emilio hollered back. 

You glanced over at Papyrus who looked shell shocked. You jostled the skeleton. “Hey, you okay?”

“We get to wear costumes,” he breathed. Ah, less shell shocked and more star struck.

You blinked. “Shit, you’re right.” That-that was kind of cool actually. You’d have to look up resources online. There was no way in hell you were going to be able to make anything without it. 

“What are you going to wear?” he asked you. 

Your mind went blank. “It’s uh-a secret! Yeah! A secret!” Papyrus stared at you before breaking into a humongous smile. 

“Nyeh heh heh heh!! Well of course! I too shall plan a secret dance outfit!” You raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Well, let’s see who can make the greater outfit.” You could not sew. You were doomed. But you did not let onto that minor fact. Sans eyed you knowingly and you motioned for him to remain silent. 

Toriel mused. “Sans, do you own a tuxedo?” 

“closest thing to a suit i got is a deck of cards.”

Toriel glanced at Frisk. “I suppose I’ll have to take Frisk and you shopping with me to pick up your outfits.” Sans nodded. 

“OH! On the contrary!” Mettaton announced, rousing from his prone position, “I insist that I shall take the ambassador for us to chose our outfits!” The robot shooed Sans away as he swept up the unresisting child. “You’ll just have to accompany her Majesty to the dressing rooms.”

“heh. alright then.”

Toriel smirked at him. “I didn’t know you liked to watch.”

Sans colored as the comment was mercifully drowned out by the excited squeals of the robot. 

“GET IN LINE! AND PREPARE TO SWEAT FROM YOUR EYES!” 

You hurriedly got into position, the classroom ablaze with both a combination of excitement and terror. Things were getting real fast. You looked around to see how Jeremy handled the news.

“PAY ATTENTION!” Emilio continued to shriek, waving his hands around like a lunatic. "AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE, YOUR LIVES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME! THIS IS GOING TO CHANGE EVERYTHING!" 

Jeremy was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This can only bode well for everyone, but enough about that! 
> 
> COSTUMES! Give me your costume ideas! We're going to need to put on a show, darling! We need flair! Excitement! We're getting to make things so hot, it's going to burst into flames! So share those costume ideas!!
> 
> As always, give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	121. Tuesday Pick up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A smaller chapter but hey at least we're not waiting a billion years for this. 
> 
> :D

You opened your laptop and tapped impatiently on the keyboard. “Come on! Come on!” You muttered. You glanced at your phone and sighed. You tapped Jeremy’s contact and brought the phone up to your ear only to immediately reach his voicemail. You hung up and sighed again. During practice, you hadn’t seen Jeremy. In fact, no one had seen him afterwards either. Maybe he just needed time to accept the fact that well, you weren’t into him like that. Or at least that’s what you were hoping. You were really hoping he wasn’t being a whiny little bitch and pouting in his room, straightening his hair so it covered one of his eyes. Christ. 

The computer finally booted up and your attention drifted back to the task at hand. You opened the browser and typed in “awesome tango costume”. You stared at the dresses that flashed back at you. “Oh my God, I can see her nipple in that one,” you breathed. You looked at the model posing in the dress. “How is she bending like that?”

Holy shit, you could not do this. You never saw women bend like that. Maybe you should have watched more reality dance shows. Perhaps they would have alluded to become more flexible as a grown women. 

Maybe you could at least afford the dress. You clicked on the price of what appeared to be an affordable yet still flattering dress and your jaw dropped. That, that was more than what you made in a month. You should have learned how to sow. But no, you didn’t. And here you were. After talking a big game and everything, you were dress less and move less. 

You would think of something. You were smart, resourceful, and…tense. Maybe you could go for a little me time later this evening. No, no. Focus. Focus. You had been woefully unprepared in the past. Why were you so stressed now? It all had to do with class tonight. 

~~~~~

“And the boots! OH! I am going to find ones that make the stage sparkle and every step will change the lights!” Mettaton practically gushed as Frisk led the robot into a quick turn, “Oh Frisk, you’re honest and good with colors! You’ll help me, won’t you? “

“Of course!” Frisk agreed, “Mom is really good with shoes too. I’m sure she could help.”

Sans chuckled from where he stood. “tori does know her shoes.” 

Toriel eyed him critically. “Well, I’m glad that one’s thing we can agree on that I have some experience with.” 

Sans coughed nervously. “uh…”

She smiled at him. “Speaking of experience, I should teach you what you missed on Friday.” She held out a paw invitingly, “unless you’re worried that this old goat might have learned a new trick?” 

Sans broke into a smile. “heh. alright, tori. throw me a bone here and show me what you know.”

The clearing of a nonexistent throat caught your attention and you realized that Papyrus was waiting patiently for you to assume the position. “Oh yeah, right. Whoops.” You probably should start practicing before Emilio started shrieking at you again. You took his hands and nodded. 

He hesitated but started to push forward. You remained steadfast. 

“Hold up. What’s wrong?” 

“Hmm. Oh, nothing.” 

“Why’d you hesitate?”

“I did? I don’t recall hesitating.” 

“You paused.” 

“Oh. I’ve just had to switch teachers.”

“Switch teachers?” You raised an eyebrow. 

Papyrus nodded. “Yes, the female teacher wanted us to practice with less space.”

“Less space? I, oh I see.” M had practically smashed you too together just ten minutes ago. That was not a long enough time to have doubts but the thought of reassuming that position made you hesitate. So instead, you grasped his hands, keeping a few inches in between you both. He gave you a reassuring nod and you relaxed. This was going to be fine. 

“What are you two doing?!” The surprising return to an inside voice threw you off significantly and you looked toward its source. Emilio stared at you with a fiery expression that didn’t even look close to be extinguished. 

“At the moment, panicking,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. 

“Well, stop that! Get closer.” You both edged a half inch closer. Emilio rolled his eyes before pushing you into Papyrus. You made a motion to protest but he raised a finger sternly at you. “I want you two to cling to each other passionately. So help me God, I will NOT allow Martha to upstage me on this.” 

He stomped away, leaving you to stare at each other awkwardly. You were acutely aware of how his hands held your shoulders. “Are you still panicking?” Papyrus asked.

“I-I don’t know….are you?” 

He hummed, made one step and tripped.

~~~~~  
You rubbed your forehead irritably at the memory. “Why did we fuck up?” 

Maybe you hadn’t been spectacular dancers before but dammit, you guys didn’t normally trip until at least halfway through practice. You ran your fingers along your shoulder and down your arm, shivering at it. You still could feel how close he was. 

You had only been that close to him when you were either a, trying to one up him during practice and b, trying to sex him. But that second one was only to get you both free of those handcuffs. In case you had to poop!

But, uh, now the idea of getting this close to him with neither animosity nor coercion seemed a bit daunting. Maybe, that’s what threw you both off. You were so used to there being some form of outside influence pushing things along but now that there wasn’t it was…weird.

The weirdness would pass. You clicked on the next page of dresses. It seemed tango dresses had themes. It would be really helpful to know what Papyrus’ costume was going to be. What if you got something in lilac and he showed up in turquoise?

Your eyes widened. You couldn’t get the dress just yet. You needed to wait. Get a better feel of him, for him. Not of him. Yes. You had to take these things one day at a time. No matter how nervous you felt yourself grow at the thought of what was to come. You made a motion to close the laptop but stopped. 

You should ask your parents. They were pretty good judges of clothes. At the very least, they were better than you. Let’s just say, you were glad you wore scrubs. You penned the email: 

“Hey mom and dad. I hope you’re well. Apparently the dance class is going to end in an public exhibition. Which I don’t think you will be home for. But, I need some help. I’m doing the Argentinian tango. With…uh…my ex. I need help finding a dress. Do you guys have any ideas? Message me soon, please. Love, Lori.” They had helped you pick your prom dress. A tango dress probably wasn’t that far from that. 

You closed your laptop and groaned. Why was this so foreign to you? You must have danced like that with guys before. Well…maybe not for a long time. But still, you grinded against guys in the club like it was no big deal. In a mini skirt and tube top too! And here you were, slightly freaking out at the thought of dancing with your friend while wearing a dress that probably covered more than a clubbing outfit. 

You drank more than one glass of wine that night.

~~~~~

Tuesday was an early day. It better be having started work at 7am. Ugh. Fuck that shit. Never again. Especially after the amount of wine you drank. You showed up looking hungover as hell but everyone was smart enough not to say anything to you. Nothing sounded better than just going home once you were off work and crashing on the couch. Yet, here you were, getting off at 3pm. It was nice to see the sun out once in a while. Still, you would need coffee before you headed home. You fished out your keys to open the door. 

“GOOD AFTERNOON HUMAN!”

“JESUS CHRIST!” You squeaked, flattening yourself against the driver’s door. You turned around and came face to skull with a beaming Papyrus. “Oh my God, Papyrus, you scared the shit out of me!” 

Papyrus tittered at you. “I’m sorry. But I bet your heart rate is really pumping now!” 

“You have no idea-no, no, you don’t have to touch it. Trust me,” you chuckled as Papyrus made a motion to listen to your chest. “So, are we taking your car then?”

“Of course! You can ride me anytime.”

You stopped dead in your tracks. “Ride WITH you.”

“Hmm?”

“Ride with you. I’m not going to ride you," you tried to explain, glad that you didn't have an audience. 

Papyrus shrugged. “You could, I’m very strong.” He spotted Pam watching you from the front door. “Don’t you think she could ride me?” He called to her.

“Papyrus!” You squealed. Good Lord, anyone but Pam.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m sure she could. Ride him, cowgirl!” Pam cackled. 

Papyrus smiled and gestured to her. “See!”

You had already buried yourself in the passenger side of his car. “Oh my God, Papyrus, get in the goddamn car right now.” 

Papyrus huffed. “Well I’m glad you’re excited about this, but really, I feel you could use much more appropriate language.” 

The drive was mercifully quick out of town. You recovered mostly by the time you passed the security guard who was attempting chin ups at the gate of Sunset Hills. “So, we’re going to Undyne’s?”

“Yes!”

“Do I have to run the Gauntlet?”

“Would you like to?”

“Hell no.”

“A simple no would have been fine. Besides, I thought it would help you with your anxiety. I ran it a couple times before I picked you up.”

“My anxiety? I don’t-I’m not anxious.” 

Papyrus shrugged. “You’re grabbing the seat cushion awfully tight.”

You realized your knuckles were almost white from the force with which you were clutching your chair and you released it. “I know why you’re worried,” he spoke as you wrung feeling back into your fingers. 

You froze. “You do?” Oh God. He knew about your uncertainty with the costume and how you were reacting to his being in your personal space!

Papyrus nodded slowly. “Yes, I realize you are scared of performing on stage.”

You stared at him. “What?”

The skeleton waved a hand dramatically. “Nyeh heh heh! It can be really daunting to perform on stage for a live audience. I understand your trepidation and want to let you know that I’ve researched lots of coping methods for stage fright. Like imagining the audience in their underwear but don’t really because that would be really embarrassing.” 

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh my God, I, yeah that would be embarrassing. I mean, I’ve been on stage before.”

“Really? Did you have the lead part?”

“I was a tree.” 

“Still! That’s stage experience!” 

You smirked. Of course, Papyrus completely knew what he was doing. What you wouldn’t give to be as calm and collected as he was right now? Here you were, trying to keep your cool while he explained how trees served very important purposes and perhaps you could try out for a shrubbery next time. Something clicked inside you as you recalled something he said earlier. “Well, what about you?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Do you get stage fright?”

“Certainly not! The Great Papyrus absolutely basks in the spotlight!” He asserted.

“Then why were you nervous? 

“Nyeh? I wasn’t nervous.”

“You just said you ran the Gauntlet a few times-” You tried to press.

“OH! Look! We’re here!” He yelled, interrupting your comment and bringing the car to a complete stop. 

Sure enough, you had arrived in Undyne and Alphys’ driveway. Time must have flown by in the midst of confusion. “Oh cool, thanks Papyrus!” 

“No, thank you for riding me.”

You choked. “Oh Christ-Papyrus! Don’t say that. It means something completely different,” you urgently explained. 

“What?”

“It can mean something…lewd.” 

Papyrus shifted the car completely into park and glanced curiously at you. “How so?”

You racked your brain for any phrase that didn’t include the word cowgirl. “It’s like I’m climbing on top of you.”

“How is that lewd? I let Frisk climb on top of me all the time,” Papyrus scoffed. 

You didn’t want to have him continue to gaff this up. It would be awkward to explain each time. Nerves or no nerves, you wanted to nip this in the butt before he said it in front of someone you didn’t know. “Ugh, at this rate, it’s going to be quicker to show you. Do you want me to show you?” You finally asked.

Papyrus shrugged. “Sure.”

“Car’s in park, right?” You asked cautiously as you unbuckled your seatbelt. He nodded. “Good, I don’t want us rolling backwards.” You carefully climbed over to his side of the car. He regarded you curiously. 

“Do you want me to get out or-nyeh!” His question ended in a gasp as you sat down, straddling him. You raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You got it?” You asked as his skull heated up.

“Yes, yes. I understand.” So much for that calm and cool collectiveness he had flaunted earlier. He appeared to be at a loss for words. A streak of boldness surged through you at this fact. You smiled and leaned in so your lips were just centimeters from the side of his skull.

“And unlike the audience, when a couple does this, they’re completely naked,” you whispered. 

You could feel a shudder jolt down Papyrus’ spine and you grinned in smug satisfaction. A small, dumb victory for your ego. You rested your back against the steering well, placing your hands back so you were leaning away from him. Your fingers wrapped around the gear shift but you made sure you didn’t jerk it. Papyrus shot you an accusatory look. 

“You know far too well that we can’t get naked right now,” He explained matter of factly.

“Uh…yeah, I know,” you admitted, feeling slightly less bold.

“You’ll just have to wait until later,” he smiled at you. 

Your mouth dropped open at his words and his grin vanished immediately, the meaning hitting both of you full force. “Oh wow, that, that’s not what I meant at all. Not that I was suggesting you would, I mean you could but I certainly don’t expect you to…” You turned bright red as he babbled. Maybe you could slink off and die in the bushes. 

“There you guys…did you guys drive up like that?!” You quickly turned to see Undyne watching you both from the front door. Her arms were crossed. “Because if you did…that’s actually kinda cool.” 

“No, no we didn’t,” you quickly explained as you both got out of the car. 

“Just think about it!” Undyne protested as you walked up to her. “Locked in fierce combat, surrounded by enemies while you drive away in a motorcycle! What better way to protect you from all sides if your partner faces the other direction, she could throw spears and you could throw spears and you’d be unstoppable!!” 

The tension broke with such an image. Papyrus clasped his hands together eagerly as you started to snort with laughter. “That’s a really good idea, Undyne! That’s why you’re such a good friend! Always coming up with new ways to fight things.” 

“What about our sides?” You couldn’t help but chime in.

Undyne thought about that. “I bet Alphys could make something like that. Plate armor for two?” 

“I bet she could."

"Well hurry up. Just try to ignore everyone else there!" 

You shook your head. "Sorry, sorry we're coming I-did you just say everyone?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's waiting for us.


	122. The Tango Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 10:15pm at night but here be the chapter! :D

You stepped out on to the familiar training grounds and sure enough, the yard was filled with the guards engaged in training. But overshadowing them all stood the newly constructed Gauntlet. The wall and tower must have nearly doubled in size. There were spikes. And electric eels. You couldn’t help but glance at Papyrus who didn’t even looked phased by it. You thanked whatever higher power that was up there that you hadn’t been put through that. 

“H-hey guys!” You turned toward Alphys and began to wave only to freeze. In her claws, she held a familiar white ball. 

“Ah! No! No! No!!” You shrieked, bolting behind Papyrus before she could step any closer. “Nuh huh!! No bombs! No bombs!” 

Alphys’ eyes widened and she stared down at the volleybomb. “Oh-oh! Oh no! No! It’s not a bomb. At least not at the moment. It’s uh…well,” she placed it down and pressed a button. A whirring, clicking noise began to emerge from inside. You eyed it cautiously and slowly advanced toward it as Alphys wrung her hands. “It’s a boom box,” she quickly explained.

“Does it go boom?” You asked suspiciously.

“Uh-uh no no. Unless I wired something wrong, no. I’m sure it’s fine. Yeah. Almost positive.”

You approached the boom box once more. “If this is a boom box, why isn’t it making any noise?” 

As if on cue, the sides of the ball cracked open and out appeared a set of speakers on each side. Immediately a girly voice began to sing in Japanese complete with giggles and “hai!” Alphys turned red and pressed another button, cutting off the music. She laughed awkwardly. “Uhhhhh ahhh…how did that get in there? Ah hah ha.”

You gave the scientist a reassuring smile. “Okay, okay I believe you. It plays music. So, uh, why do you have this?”

“So you guys can practice!” Undyne explained eagerly, slapping a hand on Alphys’ back. “Alphys came up with this super cool music player. And she made it in the shape of the bomb so it’ll really get your heart racing!” 

You laughed anxiously. “Ah. Haha, yeah, it sure did.” You blinked. “Hold up, you’re going to play music for us?”

“Duh, how else would you practice?”

You shrugged. “I was just going to borrow a laptop and play some online music.”

Alphys sputtered and broke into a snorting laugh. “Oh my God! Are you serious? That’s uh…well, that’s one way to do that!” 

You realized Papyrus had been awfully quiet during this exchange and you looked toward his direction. He was fiddling with the remote control to the speaker. Flashbacks hit you hard of the last time he touched one of Alphys’ remotes. Alphys was equally stunned and quickly looked to her claws to see they were empty. When had he taken the remote from her? 

“How do I play our music?” He finally asked after a minute or so of fiddling.

“Huh? Well you need to give me your song on a thumb drive so I can plug it in.” Alphys asked.

“Our song?” Papyrus asked. 

Undyne grinned. “Oh yeah, I was wondering what you guys were going to choose. You said each couple was going to perform in front of an audience, yeah?”

Shit, you didn’t take that into account in the slightest. 

Alphys nodded. “Yes, what’s the name of your song? I might be able to download it if you don’t have it.” 

“Oh, it’s the Argentinian song,” he answered.

Alphys paused, “Uh, can you be a bit more specific?” 

“The tango song,” Papyrus insisted.

You decided to step in. “We don’t have one yet,” you explained. You didn’t add that in addition to no song, you also had no dress. But you did have two instructors who fucking hated each other. Not sure if that helped your case though. 

Alphys tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Huh. I don’t know much about music. Let me go get something so I can do some research.”

The lizard hobbled back into the house, leaving you, Papyrus and Undyne alone. Well, technically not alone. The sound of panting alerted you to the fact that the guard dogs had now gathered around you, cocking their heads curiously at the device. 

Undyne raised her eyebrow. “What’s up, guys?”

Dogamy pointed. “What are you guys doing?”

“They’re going to practice dancing.”

Dogaressa’s ears perked up. “Dancing?” 

Doggo’s ears flattened. “Does it involving moving?”

“Yes.”

“I’m out.”

The dogs began to wag their tails excitedly. It appeared your solo practice may very well turn into a group practice. Undyne crossed her arms. “Who said I’m even going to let you guys in? You guys didn’t even finish your normal training. What makes you think I’m going to let you do special training?” The dog tails lowered but still wagged hopefully. 

“I-I got something!” Alphys squeaked, running back outside, with a laptop. She looked at you apologetically. 

You snickered. “I thought you said my laptop idea was dumb.”

“No, just ancient,” she dismissed you. She pointed at the screen. “But, look, I typed in tango and this song popped right up. And there’s all these different videos of people dancing to it! Like, uh, this one.” She connected the bomb box to the laptop and quickly snatched the remote back from Papyrus before he could arm it.

“Wowie!” Papyrus exclaimed, glancing over her shoulder at the computer. “You can use the internet to look up dancing videos too?”

You nodded. “Yeah, you can see all sorts of videos online.”

“Oh, I knew that!” He admitted, “I just didn’t realize there were videos about dancing.” You glanced at him oddly and he didn’t make eye contact. Okay, you might have to ask about that later. The first video Alphys clicked finally loaded and you heard [the song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3IFPcLG1KA). 

Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. “Oh my God. I know this song.”

“You do?” Papyrus asked.

You nodded. “It’s a common tango song. It’s been in a few movies. It’s not terribly long. Maybe two minutes…” Your voice died down as you felt hot breath on the back of your neck. You turned slightly around. Greater Dog had crouched behind you, his tongue lolled out and thankfully not drooling on you, “two minutes long,” you continued, “I uh…” You could feel fur now. Lesser Dog had crawled up next to you, his tail smacking you as he wagged. 

“Huh, her leg goes really high,” Dogaressa commented.

“Your legs can go higher,” Dogamy complimented with a nuzzle to her cheek. 

“Did he just suplex her?” Undyne gaped.

“No, no, that’s not…oh wow, okay that’s actually really high,” you admitted, watching the couple on the screen. 

“Aw man! Why didn’t we sign up for this class?!” Undyne moaned. 

“You thought it was going to be a bunch of tutus,” her girlfriend reminded.

Undyne huffed but brightened considerably as she watched the dancers on the screen. “Alphys! Come here, I want to try something!” Undyne called out, walking toward her girlfriend.

Alphys squeaked. “Uh-uh sure, Undyne, let me just make sure the volumes not too loud.” 

“Oh, yeah. I don’t want my windows broken again.” 

Papyrus kneeled down to peer at the screen and you felt yourself heat up slightly as he studied the video. This song might not work for the skeleton. He seemed like the type to go for the newer material. This song was old. 

“This song, it’s an older song?” 

You nodded slowly. “Yeah, uh, it is.”

"You said it's common?" 

You sighed. "Well, yeah, it's probably overused a lot."

“But do you like it?” 

You chuckled quietly. “A lot, actually.”

He elbowed you gently. “A song for a special dancing occasion, perhaps?” 

Your eyes flickered over to the related videos. The white wedding dresses on the women in those were a stark contrast to the tango outfits you had seen yesterday. “You could say that,” you admitted, a sense of nostalgia over something that hadn’t happened yet warming you up. 

Papyrus broke into a humongous grin. “Nyeh heh heh! Well I can’t think of a more special occasion than a public performance with your very good friend!” He slapped you hard on the back. 

The impact jostled you from your thoughts and you quickly recovered. “I-uh, yeah.” 

“Trust me, there won’t be a dry eye in the house when we do THIS!” Before you could react, Papyrus landed in a near perfect split. You gaped. 

“Holy shit, you can do the splits.”

“Nyeh heh heh heh! The Great Papyrus is quite talented!” 

“NGAHHH!” You both quickly turned to see Undyne spinning in fast circles with her blushing girlfriend. “Whose mastering dance now?! Fuhuhuhuhu!” Undyne laughed manically. You’re surprised they weren’t hurling due to motion sickness.

Your partner got your attention again. “Human! We mustn’t waste anymore time!” He called, trying to get back up only to fail. After a brief struggle, he threw his hands up. “The Skeleton is stuck!” he lamented. 

Just as good as any place to start, you supposed. 

~~~~~

Somehow the Dog Monsters had whined enough that Undyne relented and allowed them to practice as well. Currently Lesser Dog was spinning in circles. Not because of any particular dance move, but his tail had caught his attention and he was determined to catch it. Greater Dog attempted to bark and whine along with the chords of the violin music that carried the tango melody, which although initially adorable, soon rang in your ear drums and you did everything you could to tone out the tone deaf pup. Dogamy and Dogaressa were practically nose to nose, feeding each other compliments and walking back and forth without breaking contact…which could be considered dancing. And fucking Doggo just eyed everyone suspiciously from the house. 

You wished you could say that you were faring much better, but you weren’t. You did not realize how much kicking out of the legs was involved in the tango. Holy crap, there was a lot of kicking. And you were as coordinated as a one legged flamingo with the kicking. You got Papyrus in the shin at least a few times with the kicks. Not that he minded. He accidentally swept your feet and you nearly landed in the semi wet mud if he hadn’t quickly pulled you back up. So at the moment, you were even. 

“Alright, alright, Alphys, I got it. Come here!” Undyne called out as she finished stretching. The scientist had been turning redder by the second but completely boiled over when Undyne called her. “Are you okay if I suplex you?” 

“Uhhhhhh, I guess?” Alphys admitted. 

“Cool! NGAH!” With one smooth motion, Undyne seized her girlfriend and lifted her in the air. You expected any second for the dinosaur monster to come crashing down face first but it was not the case. Instead, Undyne proceeded to spin the dinosaur around until finally dipping her back to the ground. Alphys was stunned and stared at her girlfriend. Undyne smiled sheepishly. “I just asked if it was okay. I wasn’t going to suplex you…yet.” 

The surprising sweet gesture and foreshadowed physical activity encouraged you to try harder. When you weren’t sinking in mud, you were quickly following after the skeleton, kicking around him and not into him, much to his delight. You refrained from the high kicks, rather choosing to let Papyrus do those particular moves (an excellent opportunity to demonstrate his superior finesse, he bragged). He was wise enough to realize he probably couldn’t put the whole weight of his leg on you and was able to suspend it just enough for it to look convincing. 

Papyrus looked at you eagerly. “May I try to suplex you?” 

“Uhhhh…sure?” Papyrus lifted you into the air and you could help but squeal as his gloves tickled your ribs. “Pfft! Pap! Ahh! I’m ticklish!”

“Oh! Sorry! One moment!” He adjusted his grip so it was more waist and less rib. You posed dramatically in the air now that you weren’t being tickled which made him grin. “Human! You have a great stage presence!” He cheered.

“It helps that I’m like 9 feet tall now!” He quickly lowered you, before spinning and leaning back dramatically into your arms. 

“Dip me!” 

“What? Ack!” Remember that thought you had earlier about him being wise? Yeah, forget about that. You attempted to dip the skeleton only to immediately lose your grip and watch him collapse into the mud with a loud thud. You gasped, bringing both hands to your face. “Oh my God, Pap! Are you okay?” 

He blinked before pulling up his scarf. “Tsk, I just laundered everything this morning.” 

You smirked. He was fine. You held out a hand, “Here, let me help you uahh!”

“BARK BARK BARK BARK!” You felt something large and furry collide with the back of you, turning your “up” to an “uahh” as you were knocked off your feet into the mud as well. 

Wet mud splattered everywhere. You opened your eyes when you felt the onslaught of dirty water stop only to see that you had managed to land on poor Papyrus who was now covered in much more muck than before. He stared at himself in astonishment before his attention turned toward you. 

“Hi,” you croaked. Your throat suddenly felt really dry. 

“Hello, I’m covered in mud,” he responded coolly. 

“Yes. You are.” Which didn’t make him appear any less dashing to you. “So, uh, I don’t think I can dip you,” you managed, trying to ignore just how the longer you stared at him, the faster your heart beat.

“I have realized that, yes, thank you.” He cleared his throat. You remained frozen where you sat, staring at your partner. He groaned. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk about while you’re riding me?”

You died inside. You got up, stammering unintelligibly as he rose to his feet. “Oh wow, that, that’s not what I meant to do! I mean that’s what happened but I didn’t expect to, for your to-”

“BARK BARK BARK!”

The return of Greater Dog colliding with the side of you completely blindsided you and you stumbled backwards. You scrunched your eyes shut again only for your fall into the mud to come to an abrupt stop. You opened your eyes slowly only to see Papyrus staring down at you. A cursory glance revealed that he not only caught you but he managed to hold you in a pretty significant dipped position. If he was struggling to do so, he didn’t show it. 

“Nyeh heh heh, wowie, that was really close!” 

You nodded. “Yes, jesus, that was.”

“I think I should probably be the one doing the dipping. I seem to be doing a pretty good job of it. What do you think?”

“You’re doing great,” you assured him.

His sockets lit up. “Really?” 

You swallowed and spoke in a voice a lot more breathier than you intended, “You’re amazing.”

He stilled and looked down at you. He leaned in towards you, his teeth a lot closer to your open lips than before. “I think you’re pretty spectacular too.” Your chest swelled at the compliment. Your hands reached up to touch the side of his skull as he bridged the gap between you both. You pursed your lips and slowly shut your eyes, expecting the feel of his teeth against you any second now. 

“BARK BARK BARK BARK!” 

The revenge of Greater Dog struck you both hard and fast and sent you careening into the mud with an ungracious plop, shattering whatever spell that had seized you just moments ago. You landed on your back, already knowing that the mud had saturated your hair. Papyrus managed to land on all fours above you (which was good because you’re pretty sure his full weight might crush you.)

The skeleton looked absolutely crestfallen and examined a stained glove. “This is going to take forever to get out.” 

You couldn’t help it. You laughed and his cackling soon followed. You both laughed much harder than you had in a long time. 

~~~~~

The sun was starting to set by the time everyone was wrapping it up. The dogs were leaving, heading off to Grillby’s once more for their evening ritual of cards and drinks. Alphys looked absolutely tuckered out and Undyne carried her girlfriend inside. Even Papyrus appeared tired. At least slightly. Well…actually he still seemed pretty energetic. Maybe it was just you who was tired. You yawned as Papyrus and you helped carry in the music equipment back into the house.

The skeleton had excused himself to try to tidy up in the restroom. You attempted to dab yourself with a towel or two but were resigned to the fact that a hot shower was in order to get the mud out of all your nooks and crannies. You waited patiently for the skeleton to return, reflecting on this afternoon. 

“Hey, punk!” A slap on the back nearly knocked you to the ground. So much for some self reflection. 

You looked up to see Undyne. “Hi, Undyne, where’s Alphys?” 

“I dropped her off in the bedroom.” 

Giggity. “Oh cool.”

She shifted uncomfortably. “So are you still dating what’s his face?”

You felt yourself tense before relaxing. “Uh, no. He ended up doing something weird.” 

“Good weird?” She inquired.

“No. Bad weird.”

“Ah.” She coughed. “So, you’re single?” 

You rolled your eyes. “I’ve been single for a while.”

“You know, Papyrus is still single,” she mentioned. 

You rubbed your arm. “Yeah, yeah I know.”

“You think you might want to go out?” 

“What?” 

She shrugged. “You guys looked like you were having fun.”

“I, uh. After everything, that would be weird.”

“Bad weird?”

You opened your mouth again only to close it slowly. “No,” you realized. This had actually felt like a really good afternoon. You both sucked less than when you started. You laughed a significant amount. And you got to listen to one of your favorite dance songs multiple times with someone who was having just as much fun as you. Maybe, asking him out afterwards wasn’t such a bad idea. 

“Greetings, companions! I have returned! Far cleaner than I was a few minutes ago.” 

You eyed the returning skeleton and couldn’t help but notice there was mud on his scarf still. He must not have noticed. “Pap, do you want me to rinse your scarf real quick?” You offered.

“That is very kind of you!” He thanked, “But it’s only a small spot!” 

“I could just dab it with a wet cloth if you don’t want to take it off,” you offered instead.

“Well if you insist,” Papyrus agreed as you redampened the hand cloth you had picked up earlier. You pulled the end of his scarf close to you and dabbed at the spot at the edge. 

Hey, who said you couldn’t clean dirty clothes? You smiled to yourself and admired the now spotless scarf. “There! Good as new!” You turned your attention back to him and slightly blanched realizing how close you had brought yourself to him. You were painfully aware of Undyne smirking at you. “Uh, oops, sorry. Uhhhh…here!” You quickly snagged one of his hands and pressed the edge of his scarf into it like a dork. “Here’s your scarf back,” You chuckled. 

“Thank you! It is very clean!” Papyrus congratulated. You pulled your hand out. 

“So…uh, should we call it a night?” You asked sheepishly. 

Papyrus looked to see the sun starting to set. “Well, the sun is still out, but I suppose it is close enough to night.” 

“Uh, I mean, are we done practicing for the day?” 

“Oh! Nyeh heh heh heh! We probably should. I still need to bring you back to your work. Just let me know when you are ready,” He offered eagerly. 

“Work?”

“I believe we left your vehicle at your work.”

You blinked. Oh yeah. You guys did do that. Huh. Somehow, going back to your car seemed rather unappealing. “Oh…right. Well, we don’t HAVE to go back to my car.”

Papyrus cocked his skull at you. “Would you like me to drive you home instead?”

You shook your head, feeling your cheeks start to heat up. You tried to ignore Undyne trying to usher you onward. “I mean, we don’t have to end the night yet.”

“Well, no. It’s only 7PM. Did you want to attempt the Gauntlet with me?”

Your eyes bugged out. “Oh, hell no!” You calmed down. “I mean like, we could go somewhere else for a bit?” Why was that so hard to say? You just said it wasn’t a bad weird. 

He scratched his skull. “We could go grocery shopping?” 

You bit your lip, spotting Undyne attempting to encourage you onward out of the corner of your eye. “I was thinking we could go get a cup of coffee or something?” 

“Oh, uh…I don’t drink coffee actually. I’m sorry,” Papyrus apologized.

You shook your head. “No, no, don’t be sorry. I forgot. I’m sorry. Just…nevermind, yes a ride back to my car would be awesome, thank you.” You walked passed Undyne who simply facepalmed..

~~~~~

The car ride back was rather quiet, mostly attributed to the fact that you were probably both very tired from having practiced all day. You stewed in your thoughts. 

The first day you could practice alone(-ish) and you tried to sorta ask him out. Man, you did sound desperate. Still, as much as you were sure he wouldn’t have judged you for trying, it was awkward nevertheless. He pulled up alongside your car and killed the engine. “Thank you for helping Alphys and Undyne learn dancing!” Papyrus thanked. 

“Oh you’re wel..wait, teach Alphys and Undyne to dance?” You asked. 

Papyrus nodded. “Of course! I was really hoping to inspire them to take dance lessons too. Hopefully they could see how easy it is to learn when they are practicing with masters of dance!” 

You chuckled awkwardly at his confidence. “Ah ha. I wouldn’t say we were masters or anything.” 

“Well, I think we’re pretty good together!” He assured you. He hesitated a second and your heart skipped a beat. “For, dancing. Yes. Not to say we aren’t good together for other things. There are a lot of things we are good at! Like pizza making!” 

You smiled at the sincerity now and had an idea. “Speaking of pizza…would you like to go grab a slice with me? I’m not doing anything tonight,” you offered hopefully.

Papyrus tapped his chin. “Well, I had planned on going home and making sure Sans cleaned the living room…”

“Oh, er, maybe another time then I guess.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. Just an idea. Whelp, I’ll see you tomorrow!” You got in your car and flashed an eager smile and wave in his direction which he returned just as enthusiastically. It was a valiant attempt, but perhaps another time you guys could hang out. Things took time. 

~~~~~

Papyrus waved good bye as you drove away and finally stepped back into his own car. What a great start for this dance practicing! If you both kept this up, he was sure that the teacher would award you both A’s! Probably an A+! As long as you kept practicing every day, there’s no telling how high you would score. Especially if you invited him to hang out afterwards alone, surely you both would... 

He paused mid ignition. Wait a minute. Did you just ask him out? His sockets widened. Oh my God. You did. You asked him out! And he declined!! “Aghhh!” He realized out loud, “I said no!!” His phone rang and he picked it up mid realization.

“Papyrus! She was asking you out!!” Undyne yelled over the receiver.

“I KNOW!” He yelled back. “AGHHHH!!! She asked me again when I dropped her off!” 

“And did you-“

“I said I had plans!”

“PAPYRUS! You dolt!” 

“Well it’s true!”

“Yeah! But still!” Undyne let out a frustrated growl before she calmed down. “So, do you have a plan?”

Papyrus rubbed his cranium. “Of course! I will just have to ask her out after practice on Thursday instead!”

“Yes! That’s it! Way to go, Papyrus! She won’t know what hit her!” 

“Yes, except, instead of combat, it will be a night out of milkshakes and pizza.”

“But combat could still be on the table, right?” 

“Actually yes, I’ll ask her if she would like to spar after dessert.”

“Yes! Papyrus the Cassanova! Let me know how it goes!”

“Let you know? Aren't we practicing at your home?”

“Not this Thursday. I’m taking the bae out to get a cops play.”

“Cops play?” 

“Yeah, not sure what it is but Alphys seems really excited so it’s gotta be good,” Undyne chuckled, “So I guess you’ll just have to move the couch at your place so you'll have the space to practice.”

“Good idea. Thank you, Undyne! You are the best wingless gilled monster a skeleton could ask for!” 

“Aw, thanks Pap! I’ll catch you later!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have the song. Still don't have the dress. But one thing at a time. :)
> 
> Got a favorite dancing song?
> 
> Link in the story is just one of many many many tango videos featuring this song. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	123. Talking Never Solved Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but this is a pretty dialogue heavy chapter. Hopefully you'll be able to follow along. 
> 
> Tried a new styling trick. If it does what it's supposed to do, this is going to rock. And if not...well damn. Try again!

“Chewy’s here.”

You looked up. “Chewy?”

Pam nodded from the hallway. “Yes, Chewy, the golden retriever.” Two things clicked in your mind and you nodded.

“Oh! Oh yeah!” You remembered. You paused. “Why?”

“Check the schedule. I got to answer the phone.” She turned to quickly answer the phone and you pulled up the schedule curiously. Your eyes briefly scanned the appointments until you spotted it. 

“Chewy – Abdominal Ultrasound with Specialist.” 

You blinked. Oh. Shit. That’s not good. Your in house equipment was just not advanced enough to pick up on the subtle nuances between healthy organ tissue and a mass. Hence the specialist. They came with their degree, knowledge and a portable ultrasound machine that cost about the same price as your parents’ mortgage. This also explained why TJ was doing his best to brush up on his own medical knowledge and had you super clean the laboratory.

You carefully walked up and spotted the same elderly couple. And Chewy. Chewy’s tail wagged when he spotted you and dad helped him rise to his feet again. He was a bit slower than you remembered last time but you kept up the smile. “Hey guys, you dropping off the big guy?” 

“Sure thing! Hoping we could figure out what’s going on.” 

“When do you want us to come back?” Chewy’s mom asked.

“Hmm, we will call you around 3, how’s that sound?” 

“Sounds good. Be a good boy, Chewy. Don’t go eating anything I wouldn’t,” his dad advised.

“Uh, just a heads up, he’s going to a shaved belly when he comes back,” You warned as you took his leash. 

The wife grinned. “Fine by us, he’ll just get a headstart on getting that beach body!” 

“Fair enough, c’mon studmuffin,” you coaxed. The golden plodded after you contently. You led the elderly dog to the back where Tim waited with the electric clippers. You turned to place Chewy on his back only to see the retriever already lying down, looking quite tired. You rolled him onto his back, his head on your lap while Tim approached the fluffy boy. 

“Let’s get naked,” he chuckled. 

~~~~~

“This might be a bit cold, big guy,” the specialist cooed at Chewy as she squirted the ultrasound gel onto the dog’s now bare belly. The retriever was splayed out on the table, the lucky recipient of some tender chin scratches. “So tell me about Chewy, Dr. Johnson.” 

TJ cleared his throat from where he stood near you guys. “The last month, Chewy has been suffering from periods of lethargy. Becomes out of breath more easily. Recent bloodwork indicates some anemia and increased white blood cell counts.”

“So we’re looking for a mass,” the specialist mused. 

“Probably.” You exchanged look with Tim who nodded. Hopefully it was nothing too serious.

~~~~~

 

“It’s known as a hemangiosarcoma. It’s a cancer of the endothelium, the blood vessel walls.”

You leaned against the door, listening to TJ speaking to Chewy’s family. You didn’t risk bringing Chewy in just yet, the whole ultrasound took a lot out of the old guy and at the moment he was asleep in the back. So here you stood, waiting for TJ to come out. 

You could almost recite the diagnosis by heart. “Golden retrievers are especially susceptible to this. It commonly affects the spleen and heart and unfortunately, the cancer is on the spleen. Most symptoms aren’t seen until the disease has progressed significantly, which has led to his lethargy and decreased appetite. It also explains the anemia we’re seeing in his labwork.”

“What are the options?” You could hear dad ask. 

“Honestly, prognosis is poor at this stage but we may be able to buy some time with a splenectomy to try to excise the tumor. Of course, this may only buy us half a year and the recovery period will be significantly longer due to his age.”

“Chewy..Chewy’s an old man,” mom sighed. “I can’t imagine putting him through that.”

“How long do you think we have if we just keep him comfortable?” 

“A month, possibly less.”

“I see. Thank you, doctor. We’ll go home and talk things over with Chewy.” They sounded like they were crying.

“Of course. I’ll have the technician bring him in.” 

There was your cue. You darted back before TJ could open the door and approached the large run holding Chewy. “You poor bastard, you’re really tired…really tired.” You hesitated and placed a hand over his chest. “Oh good. You’re not dead. Good, good.” Chewy woke up as you scratched his chest with a lazy wag of his tail. Well, more like tired wag of his tail rather than lazy. Still with some difficulty, he rose to his feet and plodded after you once you placed his leash on him. 

You knocked on the door and walked in, Chewy trailing after you. Mom and dad were there, smiling warmly at him. If their eyes weren’t red, no one probably would have known they had been crying. “Hey there, handsome man,” Chewy’s mom called. The golden wagged its tail and buried his nose into her elbow. You stifled a snort. 

“C’mon kiddo, let’s go home and have some dinner. I bet you’re hungry, aren’t ya?” His dad asked.

“Bye, Chewy, you guys take care, okay?” You called. 

“Will do, dear.” You walked into the back and groaned.

“Tim, why do the good ones always have shit happen to them?” you asked irritably. 

Tim shrugged. “The good die young? Case in point, Spartacus here.” Spartacus the violent, 19 year old Chihuahua accurately demonstrated this point by attempting to murder Tim for just looking at him funny.

You sighed. Hopefully tonight would perk you up. Maybe Papyrus would drop a hint about his costume.

~~~~~

Both Sans and Papyrus were waiting for you in the parking lot when you pulled up to the ballroom. You raised an eyebrow. “Double escort today, eh?” You asked. 

“double the protestors,” Sans chuckled.

You stopped smiling. “What?” 

Papyrus nodded. “It appears the old man has brought a friend with him this time.” You walked alongside them curiously. 

The number of protesters had increased. Now there was a young man next to the old man with the sign that was still misspelled. He spotted Sans and flinched. Sans’ smile widened. “say, there, kid, you look awfully familiar.”

The man said nothing. Sans peered at him. “i think you were in a class of mine.”

Papyrus brightened up. “Oh! A student? How wonderful! Was he a good one?”

“he failed.”

“Oh. Well, better luck next time.” 

The young man finally muttered something. Sans cocked a skull at him. “what was that?” 

“I said, monsters should go home!” The man finally spat. 

Papyrus shrugged. “Well, we will after dance class.”

“I mean, go back to the Underground, where you belong.” 

“Hey, you,” You finally managed, “Fuck you.” 

Sans waved at you and you kept your mouth shut. He focused his attention back on the young man. “that’s really sweet of you. but maybe if you remembered your history class, monsters originally lived on the surface.” 

The man was about to say something more when they were suddenly submerged in a deluge of water. Papyrus pulled you and a quite lax Sans back before either of you could be rained upon. The protestors coughed and sputtered angrily as you turned to see the source of the water attack. 

Jeremy stood there, holding an empty yellow bucket. You gaped at your friend. “Jeremy?” 

“That was a dumb move, water boy!” The old man finally shouted, picking up his drenched sign and heading back to the parking lot. 

“Everyone will know the truth!” The young man shrieked, following the protestor. They stomped by Eddy who was walking toward the entrance wearing a bright pink fez. He waved eagerly at the old protestor. 

“About time ya got your pecker wet, you old goat!” He called after his friend.

“Fuck off, Edwardson!” 

No one said anything for a moment before Sans smirked. “looks like they’re all…”

“Sans! No!” Papyrus warned.

“washed up,” he finished. Papyrus groaned. 

Your friend was trembling. “Jeremy,” you called, catching his attention, “Are you okay?”

He gawked at you. “Am I okay? Are YOU okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine…where did you get that bucket?” 

Jeremy motioned toward the ballroom. “Janitor’s closet.” 

“That, was kind of ballsy.” 

“he mopped the floor with them.” 

Everyone groaned now, even Jeremy. Finally, your high school friend smiled. “Well, at least we won’t be hearing back from them anytime soon.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Eddy called, planting a foot against the building and stretching out his calf. “He’s a proud little twat. He’ll come back. People like him come back. With more dumb signs.” 

“Great,” you grumbled. 

Jeremy approached you, this time looking a lot less confident than he did last time you saw him. “Can I talk to you?”

You felt yourself tense as memories from your last private talk bubbled forth. Jeremy clued in to your sudden stiffening. and held out his hands disarmingly. “It's not going to be like last time. That was a real jerk move me to say those things. To you.” 

“To anyone, actually.” You hesitated before finally nodding. “Let's go talk over there.” You pointed to the side of the building.

Jeremy smiled. “Great, do you want to bring someone?”

“I uh, don't think it'll be necessary. Let's just do this quickly.”

“Are you sure?”

“If you do something weird, I'll just scream and someone will probably come kick your ass.”

“I'm actually pretty hard to take down. Body of steel and the emotional strength of a rock.”

“Remember Aeris?”

“No, no. Dammit. Okay. Let's go.” Followed him to the side of the building.

“Okay what did you wanna talk about-Jesus Jer, are you crying?”

“No no, just got some dust in my eyes.”

“Right.”

Jeremy swallowed a bunch of air, cooled down before sighing. “Listen, I want to apologize. I treated you so badly.”

“Well I mean on the scale of 1 to 10, it was probably a 7.”

“I’m going to drop the class.” 

“What? Why?”

“I’m just, I am having difficulty watching you dance with other people.” 

“This whole class was your idea," you reminded with a roll of your eyes. 

“I know, I know. But, just hear me out. It’s really hard for me to watch you…especially with him. Are you dating again?”

“No, no we’re not.”

“But you’re thinking about it.”

You bit your lip. “I don’t know.”

He shook his head slowly. “I do. I know you would. Well…I just don’t think I can be mature enough to watch you guys without getting into an argument, or worse.” Your glare made him pause as he realized the weight of his words. He cleared his throat. “I scrubbed my lips until they were raw.” 

“Ah.” You thought about it. “That’s actually really mature of you.” 

“If I was really mature, I would stay.” 

“I don’t know. I think it’s pretty mature to realize you can’t be mature.” 

“Does that really count as maturity?” 

“Wait, are you less mature for being here now?”

“Don’t confuse me. Look, I only came to give you these.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out two pieces of brightly colored paper.

You took them from him gingerly and stared at him. “What are these? Are these coupons?”

“What, no. They’re tickets.”

“Tickets to what?” 

“Tickets to that wine revealment.” You stared at him blankly and he sighed. “You know, you went to the pre reveal.” 

“Oh yeah. The bootlegged liquor.”

“Yes…We’re finally having the official opening for that.”

“Oh! Thanks, Jer Bear!” You glanced at tickets and saw the date. “Jeremy, this is the day before the recital.” 

“I know.”

“And you’ve give me two? Did you want to….?”

Jeremy shook his head. “No. I’m working that day. I want you to feel free to take someone. A friend or family or…well. Anyone you want.”

“That’s really nice of you," you managed, slowly breaking into a smile. 

“I’m trying. I really am trying.” 

“Are you at least going to stay for this lesson?” You asked, pointing to the building.

“No. I’m taking extra shifts to get ready for the event." He stuck his hands in his pockets and glanced away. "Honestly, I was planning on just dropping off the tickets for you to pick up but then I saw those guys hassling you and I just couldn’t leave.” 

“Jer Bear…”

“Promise me you’ll be safe.” 

“Sure.”

"Promise me!"

"Okay, okay. Jeez. Weirdo. I'll be fine." 

“Thank you.” He turned to walk away before casting a sideways glance at you. “Coupons, Lori, really?” 

You shrugged. “I just figured you were being fiscally responsible.”

“Pfft. Okay then.” Jeremy glanced behind you. “Alright, get going. Before Emilio decides to murder everyone.”

You almost started laughing but then realized how realistic that situation could be. Instead, you opted for a quick hug, catching Jeremy somewhat off guard before running back lest Emilio really did go agro on his students.  
~~~~~

“Sans, what are you doing tomorrow?” 

Sans considered the goat Monster's question. “might be having some company over. how about you?”

“I was thinking of taking a trip to the mall after school tomorrow.” 

“the mall?”

“Yes. Perhaps, you would like to come with me. Help me corral my son and his partner.” 

Sans eyed the robot. “well, i’m no cowboy, but i’m pretty sure i could lasso that high tech horseshoe.”

“Sans, he’s not a horseshoe. He’s a robot with a soul,” Papyrus scoffed as he twirled by the couple. 

Sans and Toriel snickered. 

“Sorry, Papyrus, it was just a spur of the moment description,” Toriel offered. Papyrus immediately backed away with another twirl from the couple before they could continue. “I do look forward to seeing what you choose.”

“choose?”

“For a costume.” 

Sans hesitated. “uh, well, i’m pretty fashionable as it is.” 

“You’re right. It suits you perfectly,” she teased. He chuckled but said nothing. “Maybe it would give us a chance to talk about Saturday night.” The lights temporarily went out in Sans’ sockets as she continued with a sigh. “We both may have said things.”

_**“faster, you’re so hot!”**_

_**Heavy moaning as claws sunk into the drywall and dragged downwards.**_

_**“Wreck me!”**_

_**The table leg snapping under her weight but so far in, no one noticed.**_

“Some things we may have regretted.”

_**“i didn’t think you had it in you.”**_

_**“What’s that supposed to mean?”**_

_**“ah! tori! not so hard!”**_

_**“You can dish it but not take it?”**_

_**A low groan of submissive pleasure.**_

_**The sound of bone slapping against thick, hot fur.**_

“Some things we didn’t.”

_**“god, tori, you’re amazing.”**_

_**“Not bad for an old lady. Ready for round six, I see?”**_

_**“god, yessss.”**_

_**The padded tongue wrapped around the tip and dragged upwards, causing the skeleton to keen.**_

_**Panting, begging for release.**_

_**“Tell me how much you want this.”**_

_**“so bad, tori. so bad. please!”**_

_**“I don’t believe you.” Phalanges grasping and tugging at nipples, babbling.**_

_**“i haven’t been this pent up since…”**_

“And some things we should talk about.” 

_**“What did you say?”**_

_**The tongue pulled away from the ectopenis, still wet with the fluorescent magic of the last climax.**_

_**“tori, dont.”**_

_**“Did you just say…?”**_

“Sans?”

The lights flickered back on in Sans’ skull. “huh?” 

Toriel glanced at Papyrus and you dancing. “We should talk. Please.”

“alright, tori. i’ll see you tomorrow.” 

~~~~~

“HUMAN! There is a slight change in our practice routine tomorrow!” 

You had barely stripped off your dance clothes when your phone lit up with a new text message. It was Papyrus. You quickly tapped back. “Are we not practicing?” 

The response was swift. “No! There will be practice! But Undyne is doing a baby thing!” 

You scratched your head as you kicked off your pants. Was she pregnant? Was Alphys pregnant?

“So I think we should practice at my home.”

You tried to type a response but another message shot through. “Plenty of leg room and space to do dance activities!” 

“Nothing weird about this at all!” 

Well, when you got a response like that, you couldn’t help but chuckle. Probably would be a little weird. The last time you were there, he was plowing a chick while his brother was nearly dick deep in you next door. Of course, there was no way Papyrus would have known that, but still, the last time he had actually invited you over was under duress. 

“Sure. Sounds like a plan. Pick me up after work?” 

“Yes! Tomorrow is going to be very exciting! Yes indeedy!” 

“G’night, Papyrus.”

“Oh yes. Good night. Get plenty of rest. But not too much. I wouldn’t want you to miss practice!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halloween is only 25 days away. 
> 
> ;3
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	124. Mirror, Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is having a safe Halloween! Things are a bit crazy in the world, but we all gotta hang in there! *hugs for everyone*
> 
> On a side note, the Halloween Story has been started so if you haven't read the first chapter, feel free to go check it [out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12283227/chapters/27920754)!
> 
> Now, onto our special day with Papyrus.

“He's lifting his lip!”

“Yes I know!”

“I see teeth! I see teeth!”

“Yes I know, Tim. Thank you.” You were so hoping that this Thursday would end on a less sweaty note. But instead, you were standing in front of a large German Shepherd who was doing his very best to be intimidating. And considering he was about 87lbs of pure muscle, he was doing a pretty good job of it. His upper lip was raised in a snarl. “I'm going to distract him and then slip this muzzle on him,” you spoke gently and with a smile. The dog picked up your calm tone and relaxed slightly although he was still very able to snap again at moment's notice 

You were trying not to let him see the large muzzle you were fingering and adjusting the strap on behind your back. The dog watched you warily as you approached him from the side. He began to growl. Tim held onto the dog's leash, being careful not to let it charge but at the same time keeping enough of a distance to not become a target. 

“Ready when you are.” Tim nodded. You pulled out a snack and the dog immediately focused on it. 

“Go get it!” You yelled, tossing the snack in the corner. The dog's head followed the trajectory of the snack before swinging back toward you but it was too late. You slipped the muzzle on the dog from behind and snapped it shut with a satisfying click before it could react. The dog went to pull the muzzle off with its front paws but Tim was quicker and quickly pulled back on the leash, forcing the dog into a sitting position. 

“Damn. All this for a nail trim? Really now!” You chastised the angry dog. 

After a grueling seven minutes later, you caught a breath of fresh air as another tech walked the dog back to his owners. You absentmindedly stuck the used muzzle back into your pocket. You also retrieved the treat you had thrown as a distraction and added it back into your stash in your other pocket. You wiped the sweat off your brow and glanced at the time. 

“Papyrus, picking you up again?” Tim asked as he spotted you checking your watch.

You sighed. “Yeah. The final demonstration is coming up really soon. He wants us to practice tonight again - no Tommy no, bad Tommy!” You suddenly disciplined. 

The hospital cat had seized an endotracheal tube and was attempting to chew it. You grabbed the water spray bottle you had stashed and gave the cat a good spritz. Poor Tommy dropped the tube and pathetically ran for cover away from the bottle. “Shit, did he break it?” Tim asked as you picked up the discarded tube. 

“No we're in luck.” You grinned, putting the tube in the sink to be cleaned. 

“So, are you practicing at the crazy fish lady’s place?” 

You shook your head. “Not this time. She has some weird baby shower thing going on with her girlfriend so Papyrus is having us practice at his place.” 

Tim grinned. “His place, huh?”

You eyed him cautiously. “Yessss?”

“All alone, I bet.”

“I, uh, well, I think so.” 

“Okay then.” 

“Wait, no, you can’t just say okay then. Come here. What do you mean?” 

“Are you sure he just wants to dance with you?” 

You opened your mouth to argue only for the familiar cough of a receptionist caught your attention. “Hey, can you come up here?” Cheri asked, peeking her head through the door.

“Sure, is it Papyrus?” You asked. 

Cheri hesitated. “Yes?”

You stretched before ending your shift on the computer. “Okay, I just clocked out. Tell him it's going to take a a few minutes for me to change.”

Cheri shifted nervously. “Would you mind coming up now? He's acting really weird.”

Tim and you exchanged worried glances. “Alright, I'm coming.” You quickly followed Cheri up to the receptionist area. Now that you were out of the back area, you could definitely hear someone speaking loudly up front. 

“Really I can't imagine what he sees in you stupid smelly flesh bag creatures.” Your eyebrows arched. That sounded like Papyrus. But there was no way he would say anything like that. You quickened your pace and rounded the bend. There was Papyrus with his back turned to you, observing a picture of the staff on the wall. Well, at least it looked like Papyrus. 

Uh, what the hell was he wearing? You stared at the dark red and black outfit. There were spikes adorning various parts of the attire and you swore you could see the glint of an actual hilt strapped to his leg. You recognized his signature red scarf, albeit a bit tattered and you relaxed at the familiar article of clothing. Maybe he was going for a more macabre tango outfit. Shit, you hadn’t even chosen your own dress yet and here he was showing up in a complete outfit. All you had to change into were sweatpants. That hopefully wouldn’t be an issue

“Hey Pap!” You greeted, pulling his scarf gently.

The room suddenly got tense as Papyrus stiffened at your touch. He whirled around and loomed over you menacingly. You stepped back in surprise. The skeleton certainly looked like Papyrus if the skeleton had suffered a large crack over his left eye. Fangs. Those were some really sharp fangs. He was not smiling. “Woah. Uh Pap?”

“Miserable whelp! How dare you touch the Great and Terrible Papyrus!”

“The Great and Terrible Papyrus?” You questioned out loud. “Is that the new name you’re going by?” You tried to smile despite the fact that there was something unsettling about Pap’s appearance that put you on edge. 

“See what I mean?” Pam called from behind you, “He’s being a little shit.”

“Pam, clients!” You quickly whispered, wanting nothing more than to join in on the name calling.

“He's got a spooky costume on too!”

You shrugged. “Yeah. I see that. Uh. Is this your costume for the dance?”

Papyrus' sockets narrowed dangerously. “A costume?! This is elite battle gear. built and perfected upon by years of combat and deadly tactical experience. Stained with the dust of those who defied me. Those who even glance at its brilliance quiver with fear. Surely your terror of me has made your mind brittle enough to even dare suggest that this armor is nothing more than a costume?!”

You looked to see there were still clients in the waiting room. Dammit. You bit your lip and did not retort back with an insult of your own even though you could hear Pam silently egging you on. You may have some words for Papyrus when you were in the car. “Well costume or not, I guess it’s pretty cool,” you admitted, touching his arm, “I dunno, the spikes are kinda sexy too.” The larger skeleton flinched and made a motion to possibly strike you until that sexy comment. He stared at you in disgust and yanked back his arm instead. 

“Hey, Lori, did you remember to clock out?” Cheri squeaked.

“Yeah, I did-”

“Oh, so you're Lori,” the skeleton mused. You and Pam exchanged looks at each other.

“Yes. I'm Lori?” You answered hesitantly. Warning bells were ringing in your head.

The skeleton snickered before outright breaking out into loud derisive laughter. “Oh how truly pathetic,” he commented as he began to walk around you. “You're an even sadder excuse for a human than usual. So short and weak,” he cackled, “the possibility that an alternate version of myself could have feelings for you is just laughable.”

Clients! There were clients in the room. You took in a big shaky breath and glared at Papyrus. “I'm going to go get my shit and when I come back, this whole fucking attitude better change because I'll be damned if I'm going to dance with a fucking prick,” you threatened under your breath. Papyrus actually seemed to grin even wider at your words which really unnerved you since that type of language would normally have prompted a gentle correction...not smug satisfaction. 

You turned stiffly away and walked towards the back technician room, scowling. You didn't hear the front door open behind you as you left.

~~~~~

You walked back, swearing profusely under your breath as you entered the technician area. You watched as Tim restrained an even larger German Shepherd. “The fuck is up with German Shepherds today?” You asked. 

Tim grimaced. “This is Baron’s sister, Dutchess. So far she’s been alright. She’s growled once but it’s going okay.” 

“Alright, well, holler if that changes,” you muttered, taking off your name badge and tossing it in the cup of unused name tags, “I gotta go kick the shit out of a skeleton.” 

“Trouble in paradise?” Tim asked. 

“Maybe, Papyrus is acting really weird. He’s got some sort of weird costume on and he’s going around like he owns the place. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it’s like his evil twin or something but that’s ridiculous,” you explained. 

“Huh. Maybe he’s practicing for a movie or something. Doesn’t he know Mettaton?” 

“Yeah, maybe. That would make more sense. Think I should just go along with it?” 

Tim shook his head. “Nah, stick with the original plan. Go tell him off. Much more satisfying.” 

You laughed. “I can agree with that.” You made a motion to go toward the employee room to change as Tim and the other technician finished the nail trim on the shepherd. 

“Alright, Dutchess, we’re just about done-SHIT!” Your head twisted back quickly at the change in tone just in time to watch Dutchess lunge for the technician trimming the nails. Tim yanked back protectively, leaving the powerful jaws snapping nothing but air. The shepherd kicked and flailed as the tech backed up, finally breaking out of his grasp with a lucky kick to the kidney. The dog charged the door leading out of the tech area and you immediately bolted after it. Someone was opening the door and if you didn't act soon, that dog was going to escape. 

The door swung open all the way and you saw the dog snarl and lunge at the unsuspecting individual, undoubtedly viewing them as the last obstacle to her freedom. You seized the leash she was dragging and with s mighty tug, yanked the large dog only inches away from the intruder. Luck was on your side as the first tug unbalanced the dog enough to watch it slip and slide on your floors. You slammed a foot down on the leash and immediately whipped out the muzzle. Before she could recover, you slipped on the piece of fabric be over her snout and clasped it into place. Large nearly trimmed paws reached up to pull it off and you quickly wrapped your arms around her neck and pulled upwards, pulling it out of her reach. “How many nails do you need to do?”

“Just the left dew!” The other technician immediately ran forward and the dog growled. 

“No!” You ordered sternly near her ear and she quieted down enough for the last nail to be cut. You released your hold on the grumpy on the animal and detached the muzzle. The leash was handed to another tech with a smile and you attempted to once again walk toward the employee area. 

That is until a slow clap caught your attention. You confusedly looked toward the direction and stiffened. There was Papyrus in his spooky outfit with a slight smile on his face. “I'll admit I am slightly impressed, human. There appears to be more to your abilities than your pathetic figure let's on.”

“Ooh…” Tim mumbled, already taking a step back...from you.

“Although the stupid beast posed no threat to someone as powerful as myself, your successful handling of the dumb creature does offer some credibility to what I've been told about you.” You realized it was he who had entered the treatment and who you had (unfortunately) saved from Duchess's frantic escape attempt. You clenched your fists. 

“Papyrus,” you began as calmly as you could. “I thought I told you to please wait in the lobby so things like this,” you explained pointing to the now much more docile Duchess, “don't happen.”

Papyrus smirked. “As I said to the humans at the desk, how do you actually intend to stop me?”

Fuck it. You walked over to the water spray bottle. Tommy bolted when he saw it, catching Papyrus’ attention. The momentary distraction was all it took and he seemed surprised when you were suddenly in front of him. “Bad Papyrus,” you scolded deviously and sprayed him in the face. He stared in muted shock at you as you turned around and began to walk away. “Hope your eyeliner is waterproof,” you snorted. 

“Lori!” Tim yelled. Something grabbed your arm and roughly pulled you back. You were quickly spun around and brought face to skull with an extremely displeased Papyrus.

Your voice caught in your throat and as you stared into those glaring sockets. 

This was not Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the Papyrus we are looking for. Halp?
> 
>  
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	125. Mirror, Mirror Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is having a safe October so far! :D 
> 
> Last we left off, we were about to get our ass kicked by an evil Papyrus...let's see where we go from here.

“You’re not Papyrus.” You realized.

Not-Papyrus’ scowl deepened. “I’m not your Papyrus, no. I am a far superior version of that pacifistic moron.”

Your own eyes narrowed at the comment. Maybe you weren’t sure you what you wanted with Pap but you were damned if you were going to let some sadistic little shit bad mouth him. “I really doubt you are better than him.” you shot back. 

The grip on your shoulders tightened briefly but relaxing back to their usual roughness. Your words appeared to have somewhat of an effect on the murdery skeleton. He brought you closer to his face and you realized with some trepidation that your feet were no longer on the ground. A low chuckle broke from his bemused scowl. “Alright, humor me. Tell me why you think I'm not the superior form.”

“Because my Pap wouldn't piss himself.” And with that you squirted him in the crotch with the water bottle. 

It took a moment for your words and your subsequent action to line up, but when it did, the reaction was swift. You found yourself pinned against the wall with one hand as the other hand began to unfasten the weapon at his side. “You think you're so clever?” He snarled. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn't impale you on my blade and watch you bleed until the floor is stained with your blood.” The blade was held to your neck and despite you thinking of a million reasons why he shouldn’t do that, all you could do was gulp.

“Edge! You were supposed to wait in the lobby!” A familiar friendly voice called out from behind the evil clone. You quickly looked up to see Papyrus, your Papyrus, walking into the room, as bubbly as ever. Not-Papyrus growled under his breath at the entrance. Papyrus spotted you both and broke into an even wider smile. “Oh! I see you two have already met! This makes introductions way less awkward! Everyone, I like you to meet Edge, my alternate universe companion. Say hello, Edge!” 

Edge regrettably lowered you back to the ground. “This insufferable whelp and I have become acquainted, yes.” The second he finally released you, you immediately darted past him and grabbed Papyrus. 

“Hello Lori!”

“Holy shit! Papyrus!! Who is the guy?! Do you know him?!? Why does he look like you?!”

Papyrus beamed. “Ah! This is Papyrus. Well, not this universe’s Papyrus. Perhaps, I should explain a bit.”

~~~~~

Five Minutes Earlier...

Papyrus walked into your the waiting room with a large smile on his skull. He spotted Pam and waved enthusiastically at her. “Hello friendly desk human! Is the human ready to go?”

Pam stared at him in surprise. “Papyrus? Sweetheart, is that really you?”

Papyrus blinked in confusion. “Ah, yes. I suppose it is me. Thank you for making sure.” He thanked. 

Pam shook her head. “Hun, if that's you, then who's sitting down?”

Papyrus looked to where the receptionist pointed and spotted the more edgier, darker and more murdery version of himself sitting with his arms crossed on one of the chairs. Papyrus brightened up. “Oh! That's Dark me!” He explained matter of factly. 

“Dark you?” 

Papyrus nodded as his duplicate scoffed. “Yes! He is from an alternate universe where monsters are a lot more eh, murdery and dark.”

“Alternate universe?” Pam questioned. 

Cheri seemed to pick up. “Think Star Trek.”

“Ah.”

Papyrus smiled, not understanding the reference but not wanting to be rude. “We visit each other's universe from time to time and this Papyrus was nice enough to hang out with me today!”

“Nice?” Dark Papyrus scoffed. “More forced to while my useless brother runs an errand.”

“My Sans insisted that Edgy come with me so he doesn't cause any trouble while he's here.”

“Don't call me Edgy.”

“I have absolute faith that Edge would have remained on his best behavior but it never hurts to learn even better behavior from the Great Papyrus!” Papyrus declared as his dark counterpart gagged but tolerated the adjusted nickname. 

“Well honey if you’re sure about that.” Cheri accepted hesitantly. 

Papyrus smiled. “Is she ready to go yet?”

A dark chuckle made him pause and he faced Edge. The skeleton was grinning. “Ah yes, the wretched human you are so fond of came out earlier while you were parking the car. I really can't understand what you see in her. It's embarrassing enough for a Papyrus to have a human companion but to see him choose one so weak and useless is a tragedy.”

Papyrus hesitated but maintained his smile. “She is actually very strong.” he insisted, “She is very clever and determined and she has even defeated me in battle!” He proudly bragged. 

The last part of his sentence caught Edge's attention and a bemused grin appeared on his face. Despite Papyrus’ insufferably dopey attitude, the dark skeleton knew that he was actually very strong. Which was part of the reason why Edge had allowed himself to be dragged around on his errands today as overpowering him would be a difficult, though certainly not an impossible, task. He doubted, “I find that difficult to believe that this girl is actually a warrior.”

Papyrus shrugged. “Well I wouldn't exactly say she is a warrior. But yes she did beat me. You can ask her yourself but she gets kinda embarrassed. I think she feels bad about it.” Papyrus offered. 

Edge stood up. “I think I shall, if nothing else but to get this miserable trip over sooner.” He began to walk to the back but Papyrus stopped him. 

“Ah, we can't go back there.”

“Can't? Nobody tells me what I can't do...and lives.”

Papyrus shook his head. “Well she doesn't want me to go back there. Sometimes there are dangerous creatures in the back and she would rather visitors wait up here for her so they don't get hurt.”

“Dangerous creatures? What’s more dangerous than me?” Edge grinned, his weapon glinting. 

“Well, Lori when she's angry.” Papyrus admitted, cause Edge's grin to falter into a scowl. “So let's just wait here and-”

“Excuse me,” a woman with a child interrupted, “But do either of you...really spooky Monsters drive a red convertible?”

Papyrus waved his hand. “Oh. Yes I do.” The woman looked visibly relieved. 

“I'm sorry but would you please move it? You've got me blocked in and I have to go pick up my child from daycare.” she asked politely. 

Papyrus leapt up. “Of course! I am very sorry. Let us go and move the cars.” He began to follow her out but turned to shoot Edge a stern look. “Be good.”

Edge waited until the skeleton had left before breaking into a cold laugh and walked toward the back. “Hey!” Pam called out. “You can't go back there.”

“I really don't see how you intend to stop me.” Edge sneered and continued back. 

“Cheri, go get Pap!” Pam ordered and the receptionist darted out the front door. 

~~~~~

“He belongs to an alternate universe where the monsters are much meaner and bloodthirsty-er? He and his brother come to visit from time to time. We call him Edge so we don't get confused.”

You stared at Papyrus in astonishment. You resisted the urge to bombard him with a thousand questions. Instead you remembered you lived in a world with magic and monsters and really did alternate universes seem that far-fetched after that?

Instead, you pointed toward the monster who was resheathing his blade. “That mother fucker tried to kill me!” You protested.

Papyrus looked aghast and turned to Edge. “Edge! What have I told you about that?”.

“Relax, fool. I only threatened to kill her.” Edge scoffed as if that was an improvement. 

Unfortunately, that appeared to be the case. Papyrus lit up. “Oh, I'm so proud of you! You are getting better.”

You stared at both of them. You could not be hearing this right now. “Are you serious?”

Papyrus nodded. “Oh yes. But not to worry, human. I knew you would be fine. You are very strong and smart and if you can best me, he is most certainly no match for you.”

The room got a little bit colder at those words. You risked a glance at Edge who seemed to be grinding his teeth. “Uh, Pap, maybe now's not a good time,” you suggested. 

Papyrus shook his head. “Nonsense! If you trained more, maybe you could be as great as Undyne.”

You risked another glance at Edge and felt your stomach drop. The skeleton was no longer grinding his teeth. He appeared to be thinking about something and judging by the way that two red pupils observed you, you had a feeling it was nothing good. He was looking at you with far too much interest for your comfort. You were beginning to prefer the death threats. “Maybe we should get going to practice?” You suggested hopefully.

“Oh yes! Practice! I nearly forgot. Yes, go get changed,” Papyrus declared. 

You looked at Edge warily who seemed all of sudden far too composed and satisfied. You swallowed and tucked the spray bottle under your armpit. You walked toward the employee door, trying to be casual. Suddenly Edge seized your wrist and yanked you against him, forcing a startled yelp out of you. 

“What the hell?!” You yelped, trying to pull away from the dark skeleton but he had an iron grip on your wrist. 

“Change of plans,” Edge declared to Papyrus who stood there in alarm, “We will not be going to your home. The human and I will be going to mine.”

“Like hell we are!!” You swore, trying to kick him but he dangled you out of reach. 

Papyrus coughed, trying to pacify the increasingly tense situation. “Edge, I'm not sure why you're doing this but there's no need for this. My home is much closer.”

Edge laughed. “You pitiful fool. Of course you don't understand. I've been looking for a challenge for a while now and if she is as formidable as you declare, then she will prove a worthy adversary for me. But I am fair. If she succeeds in besting me, I will return her to you. But if she fails…” You felt a chill settle as he let the words hang in the air. “...well I suppose you'll have to find another dance partner now, won't you?” 

Your eyes widened and you looked frantically toward Papyrus who looked just as shocked as you. “Papyrus!! Help!” You yelled as Edge pulled out a small remote. 

“Lori!” Papyrus called out. 

Edge pressed a button on the large remote and everything began to spin. The last thing you heard was the sound of a rather cruel sounding “Nyeh heh heh!” before your world plunged into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure this is all just a huge a misunderstanding, but just in case...[Welcome to the Underground!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU2MsLQAyx0)
> 
>  
> 
> Give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	126. Mirror, Mirror Part 3 (Art)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Underground!
> 
> Let's see if we can survive.

Cold. It was really cold. That was the first thought that came to your mind when you opened your eyes. The next thing that came to your mind was white. There was an awful lot of white. Were you dead? You didn't think heaven would be so cold. Unless, you weren’t in heaven. Oh crap.

“Ah, good. You're alive. I wondered if the travel through universes would be too much for your frail body,” a familiar voice sneered. 

You weren’t dead. No. It was worse. Memories flooded back and you quickly stood up. There was Edge, looking down at you disdainfully. 

“You son of a bitch!” You swore, taking a swing at him. 

He easily dodged the attack and snickered. “I see the trip hasn't drained your fighting spirit. That is good. You will need that if you have any hope of trying to reach me alive.”

“Edge, where the fuck are we?!” You demanded, looking around wildly.

“Papyrus.”

“What?” You stopped to stare at him. 

Papyrus looked irritated. “In my own universe, I go by my own name. Nicknames are only to be used when traveling to other dimensions.”

“Fine. Papyrus-”

“The Great and Terrible Papyrus.”

You stuck out your tongue but quickly retracted it when it began to freeze. “I want to go home.”

Papyrus grinned at you. “Of course. If you survive the sentries and defeat me in battle, I would be more than happy to return you to your world.”

“The...sentries?” You asked warily.

Papyrus cackled, already turning to walk away with a flair of his hand in the air. “A stupid lot of creatures but very resourceful for testing the merit of possible challengers without having to disrupt my own busy schedule. Which reminds me, I have already dawdled too long with you.” He turned to shoot you another look only for you to squirt him in the face again. Apparently your spray bottle had made the jump too. 

“Your eyeliner is running,” you grinned.

“I shall look forward to bringing on your demise myself.” The skeleton growled. He pulled out a strange ball and tossed it down. Smoke emanated from the ball and you had to tuck your face into your scrubs to avoid inhaling the majority of it. By the time the smoke had disappeared, he was long gone. 

“Stupid fucking p-prick,” you shivered. You looked around, trying to gage your surroundings. Nothing but a damn forest in every direction except for one. Well, technically two. Behind you stood a massive ornately-decorated door. Perhaps someone was home who could help you? You knocked on it curiously but nobody answered. You sighed and headed off in the one direction that was available to you and no doubt your doom.

~~~~~

Papyrus stood there, stumped. One minute you and Edge were there, the next, you were both gone. 

Tim proceeded to freak out. “Holy shit! Holy shit! He took her!”

Papyrus cast a worried glance to the male tech. “Ah yes. I see that seems to be the case.”

“He just fucking vanished with her!” The human continued to babble.

“I'm sure he'll bring her back,” Papyrus tried to sooth him. He was less than successful. 

“Naw, man! You gotta go get her!” 

Papyrus blinked. “But it would disrupt the challenge.”

“Do you want a dead girlfriend on your hands?” Papyrus froze. Tim held out his hands exasperatedly. “That dude has knives and magic and claws. She's got a frickin water bottle. Who do you think is going to win?” 

“I did not consider that,” Papyrus admitted. He cleared his throat and attempted to move nonchalantly toward the exit. “Excuse me, but I need to go do something. Nothing that would indicate that I have any less faith in my human companion-”

“Why the fuck are you still here?!?!” Tim shrieked.

Papyrus darted out the door and bolted to his car. He was already dialing a familiar phone number as he turned on the ignition. “Sans! I need some assistance!” 

~~~~~

You shivered as you walked down the frozen path. “Fuck Papyrus,” you mumbled, rubbing your arms. “This is so stupid. Stupid fucking proud prick,” you continued to swear. You walked onwards as you approached a small bridge. “God I hate the cold.”

“it's probably snow fan of you either.” You came to a dead stop in your tracks at the voice behind you. The pun was familiar but the voice was rough, less of the smooth baritone tone that Sans managed to carry with him. You turned away, any apprehension mute compared to how fucking cold it was. 

It was Sans. Well not your Sans. The blue hoody had been replaced with a thick black jacket with a grey lining. The basketball shorts seemed to be about the same but that’s where the similarity ended. Teeth with a gold tooth clicked as the skeleton in front of you observed your trembling figure.

“Are you Sans?” You asked. 

The figure snickered. “Bingo, sweet cheeks.” The derogatory term made you stiffen but Sans didn't seem to notice nor care. He shrugged. “You the human the boss brought over?”

“Y-yesh. That's me...did you say boss? Are you and Papyrus not related in this universe?” You asked curiously.

“You like to ask a lot of questions, huh, sugar buns,” you couldn't help but let out an extra shudder as Sans circled you with barely disguised interest. He stepped closer to your rear and you turned around quickly and crossed your arms. 

“Hey! Stop checking out my ass, you fucking prick!” 

Your colorful vocabulary caught the skeleton off guard and your pulse quickened nervously as he stopped moving. Relief washed over you as he smiled at you, instead of impaling you 

“got quite the mouth on you, huh? wonder what else you can do with it.” Relief gave way to annoyance at the line. You made a motion to shoot more vitriol at him but he cut you off. “if I were you, sweetheart, i'd be saving my breath. you're going to need it if you want a chance to get past the sentries.”

You bit your tongue. Shit. He was right. “Can you tell me anything about them?” you asked him. He tapped his chin thoughtfully and you sighed. “please?”

“well since you asked so nicely, i suppose i can give you a hint or so, but it'll cost ya.”

“I don't have my wallet,” you lamented. “Actually, I really don’t have anything except my uniform and a few pieces of work equipment.”

Sans smiled. “oh I'm sure we'll work something out.” You didn't like how he looked at you when he said that but you didn't have many options so you nodded. Sans pulled out a cigarette and lit up, much to your dismay. He puffed and waved away the smoke. “you see, there's five sentry dogs up ahead. all pieces of shit that cheat at cards but could give you problems if you're not ready for them. so listen up.”

“you got lesser dog first. he's the youngest. leaves me alone usually. and if he's interested in me, you can distract him really easily. guy just wants to get someone to appreciate him more but he's probably the weakest one and being weak ain't exactly the best thing around here, sweetheart.”

“Okay, what else?” You asked. 

“ya got that dog couple. uh what's their names?” Sans scratched his head, ash falling to the snow. 

“Dogamy and Dogarressa?” You offered.

“yeah there ya go. looks like they're still alive in your world. Well, they're soul connected.”

That was a term you had almost heard before. “Soul bound? Do you mean like soul connected when they see each other and fall in love?”

“what? you reading fairy tales or something, kid?” Sans coughed. You felt yourself heat up slightly at the comment. “no, no. that don’t exist here. no. soul bound. like their souls merged. it’s like the ultimate level of commitment or some shit. you both share your strengths...and weaknesses.” He smiled sinisterly and you felt a chill in the air. Well, another chill. “so if you do something to one of them, the other is going to feel it. my advice if you manage to get one before they get you is target dogamy. dogaressa will fold like a bitch when dogamy is gone.”

“Heh.” You couldn't help but laugh at the term, despite how awful the circumstances were. Sans shot you an even wider smile. 

“there's your sense of humor. atta girl. right, well doggo out there. he’s blind but his sense of hearing is really good so you might be able to sneak past him if you're quiet...buf something tells me you're a loud one,” Sans purred, attempting to slink an arm around your waist. 

“You said five?” You reminded, sidestepping him.

“business before pleasure, eh? alright. last one is greater dog. not quite sure what to tell you about him. he's strong and energetic and he tracks pretty well.”

“Crap. Alright I'll think of something.”

“sure you will, toots, but just in case, i may go collect on my advice before you meet up with him. shame to lose out on an opportunity such as this,” he winked before stamping out his cigarette.

“You're saying I won’t make it?” You pressed. 

“heh. you're a smart human.”

“Shit,” you swore.

~~~~~

“i guess,” Sans shrugged. 

“What do you mean you guess?”

“well I mean if you say everything is going to be okay with her, then it should be okay I guess.”

“You don't sound too sure,” Papyrus pointed out. 

Sans sat in the living room and watched Papyrus pace. His brother had burst into the house a few moments ago telling him that the Edge version of him had stolen the human and brought you to his universe. Sans knew that despite the dark version of Papyrus being evil, the prick was proud and generally didn't act this compulsively without a reason unless someone really provoked him. Or at least he didn't in this universe after Sans had a little talk with him. 

He assumed that you had probably mouthed off at him enough and combining it with Papyrus’ obvious interest in you, it only made sense for Edge to pull this stunt. Edge was clever enough to suggest that he would bring you back if you passed his test. And if there was an even a 1% chance that someone would do the right thing, Papyrus would give them the benefit of the doubt. Sans had seen him do it many times before, even if Papyrus didn't remember it. Still, the skeleton appeared rather torn about the whole decision and Sans knew a push in either direction was all he needed.

“i mean you're pretty perceptive, pap. so if you know something's going to be okay, then it'll be alright.”

Papyrus teetered nervously. “ah, well, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to just go over there to make sure the battle is fair?” Papyrus suggested anxiously. 

Sans smiled at the compromise. “that's sounds alright. hang on. let me go charge the remote.”

~~~~~

You saw the sign before you saw the dog. “Warning. Do not ring bell.” Huh. That was weird. Normally they would want you to ring the bell. You looked around and found a loose dead branch. You tossed it experimentally at the bell and watched as a dagger stabbed it right in the middle. You stifled a swear as a gravely voice called out. 

“There better not be anything moving out there because if there is, I'll make sure it won't move again.” The voice was slightly different but you could recognize it well enough. It was Doggo.

You remembered Sans advice. Right. You just had to sneak by him and that would be fine. You spotted a small mouse starting to cross slowly in front of the guard station and smiled. Cool. It was small and slow. Surely he couldn't spot that. 

A dagger struck the mouse square in the abdomen and it fell dead where it stood. If it wasn't for the snow having done so already, you would have frozen in place. “Crap, crap, crap,” you swore.

“Who's there?!?!”

“Shit,” you whispered. 

A grizzled dog head stuck out of the guard stand and you shrank behind your tree once more. It was Doggo. A more battle torn, injured Doggo but it was the same neurotic canine. You weighed your options. 

Your self defense experience was minimal and even then you didn't really want to hurt anyone. Maybe if you at least had your keys, you could mace him but Edge, er Papyrus, did not allow you to grab them. All you had was a large muzzle, some dog snacks, a slip leash and a spray bottle.

You looked at your spray bottle. That was probably your fastest line of defense if you could call it that. It definitely caught Papyrus off guard. You couldn't disable Doggo but maybe you could distract him?

Well, if you didn't want to freeze to death, you had to keep moving. You slowly got on your hands and knees and began to crawl toward the station. The plan as far as you had was to crawl against the front of the sentry station and hope he didn't look under the counter that jutted out the front. And if he did, uh….you were going to spray him in the nose with the spray bottle. Your plan was crude and probably doomed to fail but it was all you had. 

You got to the station and crawled against the front wall. You had only managed a few inches before you could hear Doggo bark out, “Who's there?!” You held your breath. It was silent. “I don't see anything,” he muttered. You moved a couple of inches. 

“I hear you!!” You froze once more. You could hear Doggo pacing back and forth. “I know you're here. I'm going to dust ya!” It became quiet and you moved another inch. The stand suddenly shook and you quickly turned toward the edge of the counter, water bottle out.

Doggo was staring right at you. Well, he was facing you upside down. You're not sure if he was intentionally staring at you. There was something unsettling about his eyes with their unfocused expression and the dead whiteness to them. You shut your own eyes and squirted the water bottle up his nose. 

The whole stand shook as he hoisted himself back up, screeching. “What the fuck was that?!?!” He screeched, “Is this acid?!” You took a couple more steps forward and froze when he thrust his head back down over the front. You shot him in the nose again. Another scream. “Impossible!! This a trick!”

You were almost to the edge and managed one more step before Doggo proceeded to peer over the edge one more time. You shot him in the eyes this time. He releases a series of alarm barks and withdrew. There was scratching and banging against the sentry station as he most likely attempted to claw at the wetness on his face. “I better stay up here. I did not sign up for invisible pranksters!” He growled. 

With a grateful silent sigh, you finally crawled the rest of the way and bolted. One down, four to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doggo down, four more to go! Can we do it? Or will we freeze to death first?   
> Good thing nobody opened that door, amirite?
> 
> Artwork inspired by this chapter:  
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
> As always, give those artists some loving by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)!


	127. Mirror, Mirror Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's up and as thanks for your patience, it's another long chapter.
> 
> We also have some amazing fanart and a fanvideo! The wonderful peanutbutter-n-meli has wonderfully illustrated Fell Doggo's introduction in [Think again, bitch!](http://peanutbutter-n-meli.tumblr.com/post/167291650544/dear-smallpersiankitten-your-four-page-comic), an amazing five page, colored comic! Definitely go, give her some love! The art will be placed in the story in the last chapter so if you don't have tumblr, just go back a chapter and scroll to the bottom to check it out. :)
> 
> And we have a fanvideo from Doodlebagsss where they have created not only Lori but many of our favorite Undertale characters in their [Sims 4 Game](http://doodlebagsss.tumblr.com/post/167529607046/its-up-well-its-been-up-for-a-while-but-i)! Go to their tumblr and follow the link posted or go directly to their video [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XriE_5iiGSg&t=9s) on Youtube! Give them the thumbs up and loving!
> 
> And now, off to avoid getting eaten by the cute doggies! :D

The sound of excited yipping caught your attention before you saw the next Monster. And by that point, you were already half way up the trunk of the nearest tree when he broke out into the clearing. 

It was Lesser Dog. And he looked far too manic to see you. You managed to pull yourself up the first branch and narrowly avoided having your ankle bit by the eager pup. You swore as the water bottle slipped from your hands and fell to the snow below uselessly. You clumsily climbed up the next two branches before you remembered Papyrus' advice to actually push with your legs. After which, you managed another six branches even as you heard him bark angrily after you. “Hey, no fuck off!” You yelled at him but the pup paid you no heed. He circled the trunk and you felt akin to a squirrel trapped in a tree. 

What the fuck were you going to do? You checked your pockets. All you had were the leash, a few dog snacks and a muzzle. You couldn't even drop any of these things on his head and expect it to do any damage. You climbed a few more of the branches and had to be careful as your foot nearly got stuck in a tangled weave of them. “Damn, you have to be really careful otherwise someone might get stuck...up...here.”

An idea hit you as you watched Lesser Dog pace excitedly, his neck growing and shrinking constantly. Maybe you could get him stuck here? Worth a shot. “Hey! Stupid! Er, I mean. Who's a good boy? Lesser Dog is! Yes he is!” The guard dog soaked up the praise like a sponge and began to rapidly wag his tail. His neck started to grow. “Oh he's the best boy! He's so ferocious and spooky!” You praised in your best happy voice. 

He yipped and barked eagerly as his head came closer. You gently eased yourself between branches and watched as his neck twisted and turned to follow your exact course. You tested it a few more times as you circled the same branch a couple of times and watched as Lesser Dog followed you without question. Finally his head popped out of a particularly narrow gap and you acted. 

Before Lesser Dog could react, you slipped the muzzle over his snout and clicked it into place behind his head. The dog whined and growled in surprise but with his hands still near the trunk, there was no way he was going to be pulling it off anytime soon. But you had to be sure about that. You rapidly started hopping down the branches and almost made it to the bottom when you felt your scrub top snag on a piece of wood. You reached to untangle yourself and saw Lesser Dog’s neck was already shrinking. 

“Fuck, I really liked this top,” you groaned. With a determined tug, you ripped the fabric and collapsed to the ground with a harsh thud. You saw stars for a moment but quickly recovered and ran to Lesser Dog. You whipped out the leash and tied one end around one of his fuzzy wrists. You brought the rest of the leash around the tree trunk and just barely had enough length to tie it around his other wrist. You quickly stood back and observed your handiwork. 

For lack of better words, Lesser Dog appeared to be hugging the tree. You giggled slightly despite the growling from the guard. A particularly loud snarl however sent you on your way quickly, lest you pushed your luck too far. Two down, three to go. You could do this. 

~~~~~

“Fuck, I can't do this,” you groaned trying to cover yourself. Your body painfully wanted to shut down at you and it didn't help that your top, although still wearable, had a large rip in it. You stopped unsteadily for a moment. You needed a break. Maybe you could take a nap?

“No, no. I have to keep going,” you told yourself, forcing yourself to take another step. “I gotta get back...so I can punch Papyrus for being too trusting,” you half heartedly chuckled. “Let's get to that tree.” You set a goal for the tree just before a clearing and stumbled toward it. You made it clumsily to the tree and hugged it tightly. “Okay I got this.”

“hey sweetheart.” A deep and unfortunately familiar voice spoke behind you. You sighed and turned around, leaning against the tree for support as you faced this dark version of Sans.

“Hey Sans,” you greeted dimly. 

He looked approvingly at your torn scrub top. “i like the outfit adjustment. it gives me a better view of your assets,” he chuckled. 

“Okay.”

Sans cocked his head at you. “huh. where's your spitfire, kitten?” You shrugged and began to slip down the tree. You blinked as Sans was suddenly in front of you, forcing you to remain standing upright. 

“I'm really cold,” you muttered. 

“that's a first,” Sans whistled. “never had the cold kill a human before. usually one of the mutts got em first.”

“They probably came in something thicker than scrubs.” Sans experimentally reached forward and fingered your top. 

“heh. yeah. not much there. you need a jacket like mine, toots.”

“Will you loan me your jacket?” You asked semi hopefully. 

“nah.”

“Ok. Can you just let me freeze to death in peace?”

Sans eyed you lasciviously. “how badly do you want to go back?”

“Really bad.”

“willing to do anything?”

You looked at him irritably. “I’m not going to fuck you. Besides,” you added, glancing down at yourself, “if you try to stick your dick in here, you'll probably have to defrost it first.”

Sans threw back his head and laughed rudely. “aw babe, there you are. alright. i guess i can do you a favor. but i’m gonna want something in return.” You made a motion to protest but he waved a hand. “i ain't gonna fuck ya.”

“You sure?” You warily pressed. 

“you sound disappointed?” He cracked a wry smile at you. 

You shook your head. “I just thought…”

Sans began to take off his jacket. “you ain't getting this for free. you only get to borrow it for a little bit until some of the life comes back into ya. it's way more fun when you fight back.” 

You took the jacket from Sans and your nose crinkled up. It reeked of something familiar. “Why does your jacket smell like mustard?” You couldn’t help but ask.

Sans looked annoyed and extended a hand. “you don't like it, then give it back.”

“No no, sorry. It's fine.” You slid on the thick jacket and felt your shoulders sag slightly under its weight. This thing was heavy but oh man was it warm. Feeling began to return to your limbs and you flexed them optimistically. Looks like you avoided frostbite for now. “Thank you-what are you doing?” Your grateful thanks turned into a question as Sans pressed himself into the opening of your borrowed sweater. 

“heh. just helping you get a bit warmer faster, doll.” You could have sworn you caught the faint glow of a tongue licking his teeth. He pressed you against the tree and you hissed slightly as you felt the harsh bark dig into your legs. It was probably a good sign that you could feel pain. That hopefully meant you were warming up. And although you were absolutely not going to admit it outloud, Sans was indeed warm. His body emanated heat as well and you almost found yourself relaxing as you warmed up. 

Almost. You felt bony skeletal fingers alight on your breasts for a few seconds before they began to grope them through your top. “Ugh. I knew there was a catch.” You mumbled. Just a few months ago, you hadn’t even gotten to second base and now you were getting fondled left and right by beings of unnatural origins. 

“just helping circulate blood flow,” Sans snickered as he fingered your nipple. You sighed but allowed the molestation to continue. Your mind was screaming at you to kick him in the dick but your body was begging for another 3 minutes of warming up. Survival trumped dignity. For now. 

“so I see you've got dogamy and dogarressa and greater dog left,” Sans mused as he slipped a hand through the hole in your torn top. 

“Yeah unless those other dogs I passed come back,” you grumbled. 

“you didn't dust em?” Sans asked, his tone coming off as legitimately surprised.

“No.”

“well that was dumb,” he snorted.

“I don't want to dust anyone and it would be great to get out of here without having to injure anyone too much,” you admitted.

Sans shrugged. “hey, it's your skin, sweetheart, but around here it's kill or be killed”

You wiggled, hoping to have Sans retract his hand from underneath your shirt but no luck. You settled for more questions. “Well, it that's the case, why haven't you killed me yet?”

Sans snickered. “too much work. plus human blood is a pain to wash out of clothes and I hate doing laundry”

You glanced down in surprise at your top to see the hole was almost sewn up completely. You stared in astonishment at Sans. “Did you just fix my shirt?”

Sans immediately looked uncomfortable for the briefest of seconds but quickly flashed a sly grin. “just making sure the goods stay nice and warm in case you become my personal pet.” He enunciated this point by once again stroking your breasts. that is, if boss leaves anything of you behind for me.” He made a motion with his hand and you regrettably handed him back his jacket.

“Why do you call Papyrus Boss? You are brothers, right?” You asked. 

“you could say that, yes.” You waited for him to continue but clearly that conversation was leading nowhere. 

You rolled your eyes as he slipped his jacket on. “Well, good to know. Thanks again for letting me borrow your jacket.”

“got a better way you can thank me.” He leaned in and slurped a cherry red tongue up your neck. Your hips bucked impulsively at the stimulation - why did your neck have to be so sensitive? 

“Ah ah!!” You gasped, your checks are already involuntarily flushing..

Your reaction spurred the Monster on. He pinned you against the tree ground into you roughly. “ah shit, that's very good. keep making noises like that for me, and i'll treat you real nice.” He began to take nips at your neck. “who tried to claim you, sweetheart?” he chuckled darkly between nips, “he needs more practice. let me show you how it’s done.”

Your semi frozen mind immediately went to the moment when Sans, your Sans, bit you. Had he been trying to mark you then? And if that's was considered marking….“Wait wait!” You gasped, your eyes opening wide having been half lidded with coerced heavy petting. “Don't bite me.”

“aw babe. that's cute how you think you have a choice. tell you what, i'll just take a nibble so cherry knows I've been here.” You could feel teeth press into your neck and you shrieked painfully, almost one hundred positive that this bastard broke the skin.

“There you are, you worthless pile of refuse!” A nasally voice declared from behind Sans. Sans froze instantly. “You're not at your post and none of your puzzles have been calibrated since yesterday!” 

You could see Sans have a momentary panic attack before he slipped back into the smug persona that had molested you just a few moments ago. “sorry boss. just grabbing a bite to eat” he chuckled, letting the tip of his tongue outline the bite marks you know he just left behind. If he had been left uninterrupted for only a few seconds longer...well, you couldn’t help but secretly thank whatever higher power out there for the arrival of this blowhard. 

“This is no time for one of your unhealthy junk food binges!!” You quickly looked past Sans’ shoulder to see the equally unfortunate familiar figure of this world’s Papyrus. He spotted you and his sockets temporarily widened. “Human?!” His sockets narrowed angrily at Sans. “What are you doing with the human?! Nothing good comes from fraternizing with humans!”

Sans’ grip on you loosened. You took the opportunity to immediately shove him off you and ran to Papyrus. You completely caught him off guard as you quickly hugged his slender waist. “Oh my God, thank you thank you!” You practically rejoiced. 

Your unlikely savior remained rooted to the spot before he pushed you off. “Get your filthy human germs off me!” He spat as you regained your footing. “And don't you dare try to use your magic again” He growled. 

You stared at him flabbergasted. “Magic? I don’t have any magic.”

Even Sans watched his younger brother in confusion. “boss, uh, pretty sure humans don’t have magic.” 

“Of course they do, you blundering nitwit!” Papyrus countered. Your mouth dropped at the insult.

“Jesus Christ, isn’t he your brother? Why are you calling him names?” You blurted out. 

Papyrus waved at you. “My relationship with my brother is none of your concern.” 

“yeah, uh, mind your own business on this one, toots,” Sans agreed. You were about to argue but you caught the glares from both brothers and kept your mouth shut. 

“I still don’t have magic,” you mumbled. 

“What did you say?” Papyrus snapped. 

“she says doesn’t have magic.” 

“Lies!” Papyrus snorted. “Do you think I would be foolish enough to not recognize her fire magic when she touched me!” 

You had no idea what he was talking about. A light bulb went off in the shorter skeleton’s skull. “really, boss? are you serious right now?” 

“Of course I am! Do you think I have time to waste with stupid jokes like you?” 

Sans shook his head. “oh this is going to be so good.” You looked at Sans suspiciously. What did he know that you did not?

Papyrus snarled. “Quit your inane chatter, Sans.” He whirled in your direction you and pointed at you decisively. “I’m onto you, human. My dimwitted brother may not realize your lethality, but if you’re here, then you've bested two of my guards already! You best be aware of that, Sans!”

Sans began to laugh, trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. “oh good thinking boss. glad i have you around to tell me this.”

Papyrus nodded, missing the sarcasm that dripped from his brother's words. “Go make yourself useful and do your trap recalibration already!”

Sans nodded and, in a flurry of flakes, vanished, leaving you with the irritable skeleton. Instead of understanding anything, you just had more questions. So far, so good. When the taller skeleton did not address you further, you cleared your throat. “Uh, so I'll just keep moving?” 

“Hold one moment, whelp.” You rolled your eyes but waited as Papyrus observed you. “Turn around.” He ordered. You shrugged and did as he asked. He observed you before advancing. You stiffened. 

“Are we going to fight now?” You asked hesitantly. 

Papyrus scoffed. “Don't be ridiculous. You still haven't bested over half of the sentries.”

“Oh ok.” He continued to observe you with an unreadable expression and you began to tap your foot. You did not want to lose all the warmth you had just gained at the sacrifice of your dignity. So what the fuck was he looking for? He was rather focused on you, studying you suspiciously “Can I go now?”

“You can go when I say you can.”

You scoffed. “...Do you want me to take my clothes off or something?” You asked irritably. You swore you could hear a far away wolf whistle from a particular skeleton monster but you weren't entirely sure.

Your comment seemed to catch Papyrus off guard and his sockets widened. “Wh-what?”

You shrugged. “I dunno. I just figured the way you're staring at me, you were interested in something other than my fighting capability.”

Papyrus growled. “Your attempts at enchanting me are pitiful, witch.”

“I’m enchanting you?” You echoed, raising an eyebrow. 

“Ah! You admit it!” He chortled. “Relying on magic in an attempt to sway the Great and Terrible Papyrus to find you less revolting than you actually are! It won’t work on me.”

“I don't have magic,” you argued.

“Another deception.”

You shook your head. “Seriously. I don’t have any magic!”

“Are you trying to suggest that my altered state of mind is due to something unrelated to your magic capabilities and that I actually have a personal interest in you?” 

“Yeah.”

“Pre-preposterous!” Papyrus stammered. “I refuse to entertain this topic with you any further!”

“Works for me! Bye!” You waved, turned and bolted away down the barely visible path. 

Papyrus yelled angrily behind you to stop but you were already gone, now armed with knowledge you really wish you didn’t have. 

~~~~~

“Warning, dog union in process,” you read out loud from the crude sign that had been attached to this standing post. Well, that sounded nice. Why was this a warning? Unions should always be celebrated. Peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter and chocolate...uh...peanut butter and pancakes? Eh, you’d think of more later.

You continued to read. “All individuals interrupting shall be put to death...” You realized there were some dust caked on the bottom of the sign. You shivered. Whelp, that escalated quickly. You looked around for another pathway but found none. Well, hopefully you didn't run into any dog union members.

“Halt!”

“Dammit,” you swore.

The sound of yips and barks clued you on to the fact that you were not alone and you quickly looked for a tree to climb. Nothing nearby. Damn. Alright. Shit what to do. 

The barking got louder and you patted down your scrubs for something useful. You didn't have the muzzle anymore. No leash. The water bottle wasn't going to do much. All you had were snacks. 

“Prepare for battle, weird intruder!”

You looked up to see they were within 20feet. Yup. That was Dogamy and Dogaressa alright. They looked a bit more feral than you remembered and were already salivating profusely. No doubt at the thought of making quick work out of your fragile squishy form. Your hands fingered the treats indecisively. They were dogs, right? Dogs loved food, right? Maybe a treat would be more interesting than you. 

You held out your hand and yelled “Wait!’ as authoritatively as you could. Dogamy kept barreling toward you but Dogaressa did the tiniest of flinches “Good!” You yelled, and you lobbed a snack in her direction. 

Her head watched the snack fly and her place slowed down slightly in confusion as she ran by it. Dogamy appeared unaffected by his partner’s hesitation and neared threateningly. 

“Wait!” You yelled again. Dogaressa slowed down more noticeably. “Good.” You threw the snack in front of her this time, an effort that wasn't so difficult since they were nearly on top of you. Dogaressa's sudden change in movement did not go unnoticed this time and Dogamy decelerated as well, glancing at the female. “Good!” You threw a snack in his direction. His charge turned into a trot. 

“WAIT!” You finally screamed. It was too late to throw another one and you ducked. When you realized you were not being mauled, you risked standing up and facing your attackers.

The two dog Monsters had stopped. They stared at you peculiarly. “G-good,” you managed, tossing a snack at both of them. This time, they each picked up the food and studied it.

“Are you throwing things at us?” Dogamy finally growled after a few tense seconds.

“Yes?” You admitted. 

“Dearest, the human is throwing food,” Dogaressa realized, mid-bite, “And it is delicious! I want another one” You sighed until Dogamy came within an inch of you, fur stiff and lips raised.

“My wife wants another snack!” 

You swallowed. You could give them another snack, but once you had run out, what then? Would they just set upon you afterwards? Probably. You needed to stall. “No,” you answered carefully. 

“Really!” He laughed, leaning in, “What’s to stop us from dusting you and eating all the snacks anyway?”

Dogaressa was feeding off her husband’s agitation and it was only a matter of time before she would join in. You racked your brain for a good reason why. “The snacks only taste good if they're given, not taken,” you lied.

Dogamy backed away and studied you critically. You desperately tried to keep a calm poker face despite how much you wanted to piss yourself at the moment. He finally took another step back until he stood with his wife. He motioned her closer and began to mumble. 

“Do you think she’s telling the truth?”

“We better not risk it,” Dogaressa worriedly guessed. They returned your attention to you. “Will you give us another snack?” She asked. 

“I will, but you need to do something for me first,” you continued, starting to feel a sense of relief at some form of plan. 

“What?” 

“Can you guys sit?”

Dogaressa sat immediately as Dogamy balked at your request. “You can’t be serious.”

“Good job, Dogaressa!” You immediately praised, handing her a treat. “You’re such a good girl!” Her tail wagged. 

Dogamy watched the encounter irritably before sitting down. You cleared your throat. “Alright, next, I would like-”

“Woah! Woah! Wait! Where’s my snack?” Dogamy demanded. 

“You didn’t do what I asked when I asked.”

“Yes, dear, you didn’t do it. But I still love you very much!” Dogaressa pointed out. Dogamy tapped his foot impatiently. 

“Fine. Do it again.” 

“Can you guys spin in a circle?” 

Dogamy had just started a halfhearted circle around while Dogaressa twirled eagerly. “Good girl!” You praised, handing the snack to her. 

“Hey! No! Watch me!” Dogamy barked. “I can twirl, I can twirl! See!” His tail waved frantically as he dashed back and forth into lazy 8s. 

“Let’s try again!” Let’s sit!” Bam! They sat immediately, their eyes wide. Snacks were handed out. “Can we spin again?” Spin spin spin! Their tongues hung out happily. Moar snacks! “Uh, shake hands?” You nearly found your arms ripped from their sockets as they each grabbed one of your hands and shook you like a polaroid picture.”G-good!” You handed out snacks. They were smiling. Smiling dogs were good. 

Still, you had to keep going. And you were running lown on snacks. You bit your lip. “Okay, I have one final request.”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” 

“Tell us! Tell us!”

“I want you to find Lesser Dog.” You had felt incredibly guilty about that. You basically tied a dog to a tree and left him in the wilderness. Even if he was trying to murder you, well, that was still kind of cold of you. Heh.

“Find Lesser Dog! Yes! We can do that!” 

“I know you guys can!” You cheered, trying not to chatter in the cold, “You guys are such good dogs!” 

“We are good dogs!”

“Yes! Good dogs! Very good dogs!” You agreed. “Now go find him. And when you come back, I’ll give you the rest of my snacks!” 

“Yes! Yes! Yes!”

“We’ll be back soon!” 

“Not too soon, I hope,” you whispered as the dog Monsters dashed past you and back down the path from whence you came. You shivered and continued, now at far brisker pace than before. 

Four down, one to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greater Dog remains. Cue evil Dog Song. :)
> 
> And as always, go give those artists some love: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	128. Mirror, Mirror Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience everyone! Still in Underfell, but we're getting near the home stretch.

It was only by pure chance that you spotted the bear trap just seconds before you stepped on it. You backed away in time and stared at the trap. It appeared old and well used. Yet there was something off with its appearance. “Is it frozen open?” You realized, prodding it with a nearby stick. When it didn’t budge, you threw that sucker as hard as you could at the trigger. It didn’t even click. You sighed in relief and walked away.

Well you tried. A shrill, angry voice shrieked behind you, startling you. “How did you do that?!” 

You turned to see an angry Papyrus. Still, not your Papyrus. You huffed. “What?” 

“How did you disable my carefully placed trap?” 

You glanced at the icicle that had formed around the metal. “You’re kidding, right?” 

“I am not kidding!” Papyrus argued. 

“It’s frozen solid!” You pointed to it. Papyrus stomped over to the trap and peered at it suspiciously. You stepped over carefully next to him. “See! Frozen! And it’s metal too. If you stick your tongue to it, you’ll probably get stuck!” 

“Incorrect.” 

“Incorrect?” 

“Your tongue would not get stuck to it.” 

“Sure would! I saw a movie where some poor kid got his tongue stuck to a metal pole.” 

Papyrus hesitated briefly. “A movie? Like...with stars?”

“Yes.”

“Who did Mettaton play?” Was it just your imagination or was there a slight blush to his cheek bones?

“He wasn’t in that movie.” 

“What? You’re clearly lying. That insufferable robot that I have no personal interest in whatsoever is always in the best blockbuster films that I have definitely not seen more than 12 times.” 

You opened your mouth and closed it. Huh. That was not suspicious at all. But you saw an opportunity. “Actually!” You pretended to think, “I think he WAS in that movie!” 

“Nyeh heh heh heh! I knew it!” Papyrus cackled, “What part did he play?” 

“He played the human who touched his tongue to a metal pole.” 

“Really?” Papyrus looked delighted. He eyed the trap with renewed interest. “Did it look cool?” 

You tried to remain deadpanned. “It was a pretty memorable scene, sure.” Papyrus knelt to the trap and you caught the flicker of dark orange materialize within his skull. It took your icy brain a second to catch on. “Woah! Woah! What are you doing?”

“Reenacting the famous scene of course!” He looked ready to put his tongue against the bear trap.

You tried to push him back. “No, no, no. Bad idea!” You squeaked as his wrists clamped over your own.

“Bah! Philistine!” He scowled. “You wouldn’t know good theater if it came up and performed for you.” He realized he was still holding your wrists and quickly dropped them. “And stop it with magic already! I am impervious to your talents!” 

You thought about arguing with him. But then you remember that this mother fucker was the reason you weren’t in your own world, in a cozy home, practicing dance steps. So instead, you smiled broadly. “You’re absolutely right. I have no appreciation for the fine arts. Go ahead and put your tongue on the bear trap!” 

“I’m glad to see you have come to your senses about this.” 

You jutted a thumb down the path. “In fact, I think my very presence would just ruin this whole atmosphere. I’m going to keep going, okay?” 

“Hmm. Very well. That is very humble of you. A true misfortunate on your part however. I suppose I will regale you with my artistic achievement before I take your soul.”

You gritted your teeth. “Fantastic. Bye, Papyrus!” You quickly walked away and down the path, his laughter echoing in the forest. You made it just a few feet out of sight when his laughter died down. You winced instinctively as you could hear the clatter of metal and the obvious sounds of a struggle. 

“Sans!!!!” 

You whistled as you walked away. 

~~~~~

“you know, if boss had skin, i’d say you just got under it.”

You jumped up at the voice and looked to the side to see Sans sitting at a concession stand. “Shit. Dude. You scared me.”

“heh. nice.” Sans gave your haggard appearance the once over. “wanna take a seat with me? you look out of breath there.”

You hesitated but nodded. “Yeah sure.” You walked around to his side and paused. “Do you have an extra chair?”

Sans grinned and patted his lap. “sure do. kept it nice and warm for you too.”

You rolled your eyes but found yourself sitting on his lap because your dignity was just fucking gone at this point. Thankfully, it didn't feel like you were sitting on bones and you relaxed a bit. 

“so, got a boyfriend?” He grunted. 

You swiveled to face him. “Really? That's what you're going to start with? I’m trying to survive and you’re asking me if I have a boyfriend?”

“hey, just trying to get to know you, toots.”

You crossed your arms and turned away. “Well, I don’t.”

“huh. thought you and cherry were involved.”

“It's complicated... did you just call my Papyrus, Cherry?”

Sans snorted and placed his skeletal hands behind his head. “yeah. he's just a bit too sweet and nice for here. but you,” He gave your thigh an appreciative squeeze, “i bet with a little bit of training, you would do just fine.” You groaned and buried your head in your hands and Sans chuckled. “hey, that's a good thing you know.”

“It is?” You disbelievingly asked. 

“heh yup. means I think you have a shot of surviving all of the dogs. and depending on how you handle boss, you might make it in one piece.”

“Fucking joy-wait. Really?” Your ears perked up. “What do you mean how I handle him?”

“you know i think i might call in that favor now,” Sans mused. 

“Huh?’

“move around a bit, dollface,” he coaxed. You rolled your eyes but did as you were told and began to grind against his lap. “aw yeah, just like that.”

“Are there seriously no female monsters you two can fuck?” You asked. 

“yeah. I got a few regulars but feeling soft skin instead of dirty fur and fire is a nice change.”

“Fire?” He gripped your hips and thrust harshly against you, making the thoughts fly away as you yelped. So much for that question. “Tell me what you mean about Papyrus," you tried again.

Sans was about to answer when the sound of barking made him pause. It was a bark you were familiar with, but only because you had gone on a date with him. “Greater Dog!” You hissed. You had no idea what to do. You had nowhere to hide, nothing to protect yourself with. What the fuck were you going to do?

“maybe you can hide under this stand?” Sans offered with a sly grin. 

You were about to question his sudden spurt of generosity when you realized that there wasn’t any time to do so and you ducked under his stand. There wasn’t much room under here and despite Sans shuffling his feet to give you a little extra space, you were pretty cramped. 

The sound of panting neared and you held your breath. 

“hey there, gd. you doing boss’ dirty work?” There was a snarl and a snap. “huh, a human? did you catch it?” 

You felt the stand shake as Greater Dog smacked the side of it with another rough bark. You bit your lip. “a human here? you sure you ain’t barking up the wrong tree, bud?” Sans chuckled. You felt yourself relax until Sans added, “then again, maybe i did see someone lurking around here. someone who still owes me a favor.” 

His spread his legs and scooted forward in his chair, bringing his crotch close to you. Your eyes widened. He had to be kidding. “i might be able to help point you in the right direction if they don’t continue paying back that favor.” He emphasized that last part by letting his skeletal hand fall and rest on his thigh. 

He wasn’t kidding. You swore silently. Slimy, perverted bastard wanted a blow job. Ugh. You had only the smallest of desire to do that with him having ground on him just a minute ago. Still, did you really think you could take on Greater Dog by yourself at the moment? Unlikely. Sans’ low chuckle did nothing to alleviate your irritation. 

“that human you’re looking for-ah!” You heard his tip cut off into a choked gasp as you pulled out his hard dick and took his whole tip into your mouth. He nearly jumped out of his chair but you held fast to him, lest he accidentally expose both of you to the bloodthirsty canine. The smell of cigar smoke was thick around his piece and for once, you opted not to breathe through your nostrils for air, instead choosing to just suffocate. Only once you felt yourself starting to black out that you finally took in oxygen. 

“ah, i’m fine. i’m fine! no, no need to come around here,” you could hear Sans babble as he tried to regain his coolness. There was a silver lining to this humiliating act and that was the incredible heat he gave off. You could feel the frostbite fading off your nose and pinched yourself to keep you from groaning at the welcome feeling of warmth returning to your mammalian body.

There were a couple of gruff barks, reminding both of you that there was still a very alert sentry guard standing in front of the stand. When Sans didn’t answer, your hand quickly gave his shaft a sharp tug, making him tense. “oh, yeah, the human. right uh, so i’m pretty sure that i saw the human go back the way to town.” 

Your eyes widened. No. Not town. You needed to head that way and the last thing you needed was to send Greater Dog that way. You gave another sharp tug and saw Sans’ hand clench. “i mean, not town. the other way. by that big door.” You couldn’t lie, you were enjoying this quite effective way to control the skeleton.

The sentry whined. “yeah, i’m sure.” You continued to religiously suck, rolling your tongue around him appreciatively. “do i want what?” you could hear him ask, “shit. did doggo give you those? no, i don’t do that shit. don’t take anything from that blind bastard.” Greater Dog growled but Sans growled even louder. “scram, puppy dog. i’ll let you know if i see them, got it?” 

You could hear the padding of footsteps as Greater Dog stomped away. You relaxed the pace at which you continued to blow him only to squeal in surprise as you felt yourself dragged up by your hair. You found yourself face to skull with an incredibly flustered Sans.

“what the hell was that? you trying to get us dusted?” He demanded. 

You wiped the drool of your mouth. “Isn’t that what you wanted me to do?”

“jeez, kid, no. just wanted to keep touching it. i didn’t say nothin about going down on me.” Sans argued. 

Your jaw dropped. He seemed to regain some of his composure at your shock and decided to wink at you. “maybe you just wanted a taste of the bone zone after all.” 

You felt something tiny snap in you and your eyes narrowed. You grabbed his still exposed penis and squeezed. Hard. His sockets widened and his head thrust backwards. “not so hard. not so hard,” he begged. 

“Tell me more about your brother,” you demanded. 

“babe, you can’t just grab a guy’s bits and expect him to talk when you say talk,” he tried to protest

You jerked him painfully and he squealed. You leaned into him. “Talk.” 

“you’re throwing boss off by flirting with him.”

You snorted. “Flirting with him?! How the fuck am I flirting with him?” Sans groaned and said nothing. Looks like his tongue needed loosening. You growled, “Tell me, or I’ll-”

“alright, alright!” To your surprise, Sans actually seemed to back down at your forwardness. He shrunk into his chair. “it's just, he's not used to be being treated this way, ya know? no touching, no hugging.”

You stared at him. “Is he a virgin?” 

“i don’t think so, but this is different from just a fuck. you’re actually talking to him and shit and the thought of anything with a human...he can't even imagine it. you’re probably the closest thing to intimacy he’s had since...well, forever.”

Hell, even you didn't know what to make out of yourself most of the time. As far as you knew, you were pretty fucked up. No wonder the Papyrus of this world was confused. Logically, you should already be dead. Mentally, you should be crying and hiding in a corner. Compared to these monsters, you were weak but you were mouthing off like you were the best thing since sliced bread. 

Taking advantage of Papyrus’ confusion was probably the only viable strategy to getting out of here alive. You pushed his dick back into his pants and he shuddered with relief. “Thanks for the tip,” you grinned as you stood up, patting his pelvis briefly. “Can I ask one more question?”

“shoot,” Sans agreed, straightening himself back into his chair. 

“How do I get home if Papyrus doesn't keep his word?” You asked, worried that this very well could be all for naught. 

He scooted away from you and your now empty hands. “we got a remote that lets us travel to different universes. you just have to press the button since the settings are already set for your own world.”

That was useful. “Awesome. And where do I find this remote?”

Sans chuckled. “boss has got it somewhere in his room.”

“Shit. Well so much for that-”

“Nyeh heh heh heh!!” You heard someone cackle behind you. You sighed and turned around to see Papyrus looking quite smug and pleased with himself. “Human. You shall not pass this area.”

“Are you sure about that?” You added shooting a relieved Sans a wink. The short skeleton nodded and continued to keep his distance from your suddenly aggressive stance.

“Of course. If there is one thing that I am sure of, it's that.”

“You know,” you leaned against the side of the stand, “for someone who says he's awfully busy, you do seem to keep popping up quite a bit.”

“I uh, am just wondering why you are taking so long, pitiful human.”

“I think you miss me.” 

“That is the most ridiculous and untruest thing ever!”

“Well, if that’s not it, we could settle everything right here, right now,” you offered.

Papyrus hesitated only for a moment but his sockets quickly narrowed. “Ha! The Great and Terrible Papyrus will not be goaded by some reckless ta-Where are you going?” 

You had turned around and started to continue down the path. You looked back at him. “I’m going to go continue your challenge.”

Papyrus sputtered angrily, “Of course you should! Yes! My coming here was not due to any impatience on my part but rather an extremely calculated maneuver to evaluate your strength.”

“Fantastic.” You doubled back to run your hand along his crossed arms, “See you at the finish line, sugar bear!” You winked at him before continuing down the path.

“Sugar bear?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you're expecting a handy but you get a bj instead. Whoops. 
> 
> Reader is starting to get sick of everyone's shit and it's going to get good.
> 
> Greater Dog still remains. Cue evil Dog Song. :)
> 
> And as always, go give those artists some love: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	129. Mirror, Mirror Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where the hell is our skeleton in shining armor?
> 
> Greater Dog, here we come! :D

“Sans, how much longer?”

“not much longer now. we can make the jump soon.” 

“Nyeh heh heh! Sans! This is not a trip that requires both of us. I am quite capable of handling myself.”

“are you sure?” 

“No, I’m Papyrus.”

“nice. alright, bro. listen, i gotta have a talk with you.”

“About what?”

“just, just some stuff tori and i talked about at the mall today.”

“Can it wait? I want to continue practicing my best comebacks and combat poses.”

“yeah, pap. no prob. just one more bar to go.” 

~~~~~

“Just one more dog to go.”

You stomped around the thick snow, trying to get your bearings straight while avoiding sinking into the white, fluffy floor. You finally stopped, and looked around. “Where the fuck am I?” You grunted, looking around. “All I see are fucking snow poffs.” You groaned. You managed a few more steps before you paused again. There, nestled by the side of the snow poffs was a dog house. You neared it curiously. It was harmless enough. Well, minus the dust by the base of it. 

“This must be Greater Dog’s home,” you deciphered. You were pretty sure it had to be. Process of elimination if nothing else. Still, you felt pretty clever. You would have patted yourself on the back if your arm wasn’t frozen solid. You spotted something that looked like a bridge up ahead and a...town? Your grin widened. Holy shit! You did it! That was the town! You made it. “Ha. Ha. Hahaha!” You choked out laughter, your breath quickly turning into condensation in the air. “I made it. Ha.” You marched toward the bridge. “No Greater Dog, no Papyrus. Fuck yeah.” You were just about to step through a large snow poff when you hesitated. 

Did that snow poff just move? You drew closer, peering at it suspiciously. Did that snow poff just pant? 

An explosion of snow practically detonated in your face as Greater Dog rocketed from the faux snow poff. Your mind went blank and all you could manage was a, “Hey, you’re not a snow poff.”

The wind was knocked out of you as Greater Dog smashed right into your chest. You skidded and tumbled like a stone skipping across a lake before your back hit the side of the dog shed. You barely had a chance to focus on the stars circling your head before Greater Dog was upon you again. 

This time you managed a really high pitched shriek before you hit the deck. The large canine Monster absolutely pulverized the shed with his weight. You scrambled to your feet, trying not to piss yourself.

“Bad dog! Bad dog! Bad dog!” You squealed. 

If the Monster heard you, he did not allude to it. He continued to pounce and snarl at you, destroying snow poff as you went. You briefly entertained the idea of running past him towards the bridge only to realize you not only wouldn’t be able to outrun him, but there was a good chance he could just push you off. As the canine Monster kicked the sign, you couldn’t help but notice him panting even harder. 

You could only imagine how heavy that armor was. And even if it was an automation of some sort, the amount of destruction he was self inflicting upon himself would quickly lead to exhaustion. Unfortunately, you were also winded and found it more and more difficult to pull yourself out of the snow and not die on the blue and white spears. An accidental slip sent you sprawling in front of one of the last standing snow poffs. You wanted nothing more than to just sink into the fluffiness but the approaching sound of crunching and clanging quickly clued you into the fact that you had to move.

With one final push, you launched yourself out of Greater Dog’s path and rolled to the side painfully. “Ah! Ah! Fuck!” You shrieked, your sore chest colliding with the broken sign. You tumbled around just in time to see the large canine warrior slide right into the snow poff you had previously lain in front of, his face skidding so hard that it disturbed the snow and dirt underneath. He finally came to a stop and you stumbled to your feet. The Monster did not get up so you averted your eyes toward the bridge again. 

You were so close to the town, you could make it if you booked it. You had barely made one step when the sound of an anguished howl vibrated everything around you. A howl that loud would definitely alert anyone within miles that something had gone horribly wrong. And a human with a very valuable soul would probably be wise to skidaddle while there was still time. Against your better judgment, you turned to face your assailant.

He had rolled onto his back, clutching and scratching at his nose. The sound of answering barks and howls echoed from the forest you just escaped from and you tensed. Shit. Dogamy, Dogaressa, Lesser Dog and Doggo bounded and lurched into the snow poff clearing, weapons drawn and teeth bared. Their eyes settled on Greater Dog and immediately rushed to his aid.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s no injury! Why is he screaming?” 

“Bark, bark, bark!” 

“There he is! Why is he rolling around?”

Even you had to stop and observe. You hadn’t harmed him. More of panickedly ran from him, but you didn’t lay a hand on him. He kept scratching and rubbing his nose. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought he had something stuck up there. But that would be silly.

“Achoo! Achoo!” 

Your eyes widened. Oh no. Your eyes darted to where he had ridden his face. He had knocked the snow off the dirt buried underneath. A few dead plants had been uprooted. A particularly sharp one looked like it was missing its tip. Almost as if it had been snapped off. And you had a pretty good inclination where the tip went. The canine Monsters looked absolutely bewildered. 

This was your second chance. An opportunity to escape during the confusion. They wouldn’t see you slip away. Everyone was too busy watching Greater Dog panic and sneeze. You could leave now and wouldn’t have to think twice about the large canine and his pack that just tried to murder you. Even as he squeaked out distressed, scared whines…Dammit. 

You wanted to throttle yourself as you walked back to the pack. Lesser Dog spotted you and barked. The other dogs’ heads swiveled in your direction. You saw more than one weapon raise unsuredly in your direction. Good. They weren’t going to murder you right off the bat. “Don’t attack me. I can help,” you quickly explained, holding up your hands. The canines exchanged suspicious glances and hesitated. 

“Why should we listen to you?” 

“You do not have any more treats.” 

You tried again. “Listen, where I come from, I am a nurse to dogs. I take care of dogs. Please,” You asked, your voice softening despite how much it wanted to freeze over with the rest of the wilderness, “let me help.”

There was a tense stand off and you realized you may have undoubtedly signed your death warrant. Suddenly Lesser Dog barked, a small smile forming under his dirty muzzle. The other Monsters lowered their weapons and nodded. You let out a sigh of relief. “Fix him,” Dogamy ordered.

You looked at Greater Dog. “There’s something stuck in his nose. I’m going to need forceps.”

“Forceps?”

“Uh, two long sticks connected together. So I can grab and pull it out,” you tried to explain. “I’m going to need a flashlight or something too so I can look up there.” Dogamy and Dogaressa dashed off, leaving you in the company of Lesser Dog and Doggo. “Right, uh, let’s see how much I can see.” You reached forward and your fingers had barely brushed his snout when he snapped at you. It was only your many years of training that prevented you from losing a few of your digits as you jerked your hand back. “Right, uh, we either need to desensitize that area. Or really restrain him. Or both.” 

Doggo’s grizzled muzzle grinned. “I got this.” He fumbled with his satchel at the side of his armor as Lesser Dog approached you eagerly, thrusting his head under your hand. You scratched his head absentmindedly and watched as his neck elongated and began to wrap around Greater Dog. 

The larger canine was having none of that and began to kick and scratch at the smaller Monster. He went to bite but Doggo quickly slammed something in his mouth and lit it. “Take it easy,” he slurred, pulling out another one and sticking it in his own mouth. 

You stared incredulously. “Are-are those dog biscuits?” 

“Special biscuits,” Doggo smirked, lighting his own, “Want one?” He offered as Greater Dog visibly relaxed, allowing Lesser Dog to continue wrapping around him unhindered.

“I-uh, what? No. That’s just weird.”

“What are you, a fucking narc?” Doggo growled.

“No. I just don’t want to be inebriated when I’m about to stick something sharp into your friend here,” You quickly dodged. Man those drug PSAs never covered these type of peer pressure situations. You should seriously write a letter when this was all said and done. If you lived that long. 

“Got it!”

“We got it!” 

You looked up in relief only for your face to fall. The dogs had eagerly brought you an almost medieval looking tweezer item and a surprisingly modern flashlight. The edges were sharpened enough that a poke would probably draw blood. They handed it to you. Whelp, you better not miss. You turned and approached Greater Dog.

Shit, you had never done this before. Technically it was illegal for you to do this in your world. But somehow, you felt that you would be able to escape the legal consequences in this one for now. “Right, uh, Dogamy and Dogaressa, hold him still. Doggo, hold this flashlight steady. Lesser Dog…keep being a good boy!” The canine couple grappled a mostly immobilized Greater Dog and securely held his mouth shut and still. Your nerves were going a mile a minute but you gulped and held out the instrument shakily. “Stay still, good boy, I’m going to help you.” 

Man, it would be nice if you believed yourself. The light flashed up his nostril and you saw the barb of the plant. It wasn’t too far in. Hey, you had a shot at this! Determination surging through your frozen body, you inserted the deadly tweezers within his nasal cavity. Greater Dog grunted and strained against his restraint. You knew if he wasn’t bound and held down and drugged, this would have been impossible. You squeezed the instruments down over the base of the plant. “I’ve got it. I’m going to pull,” you warned.

“Do it, meatsack!” 

Right! “Ngah!!” You yelled, pulling back as hard as you could. There was a pop and a scrape and you blinked unsuredly. You held up the instrument. There clasped within the dangerous metallic needles was the barb, intact and most importantly out of Greater Dog’s nose. You laughed nervously and dropped it to the ground, putting your hands to your forehead. “Oh my God, I can’t believe that worked.”

“Celebratory toke!” Doggo exclaimed behind you.

“Celebratory what now?” You gasped as the blind dog pulled you back and slammed lit biscuit between your lips. You quickly inhaled only to cough and fall on your ass.

“Lightweight.”

You continued to cough, starting to feel slightly dizzy. Was this a contact high? Your vision was dazed for a moment as you heard lots of scuffling and barking around you at the change of events. You could feel someone touching your pockets and instructing you, “Take this when you’re really not feeling well.” Was it ibuprofen? You could go for some ibuprofen. Your vision cleared slightly enough for you to be once again aware of your surroundings.

Huh. It got awful dark around here. You realized whatever light that had been available was blocked out by a large figure. It was Greater Dog. He towered over you, his lip raised. He looked pissed. “Oh. Shit,” you barely had time to mumble before he leapt on you. You shrieked and tried to cover your face. But it was no good against the assault of yips, licks and happy barks that he showered you with and you soon started giggling at the attention. 

“Ah! No! No! Ah! S-stop it!” You laughed. You managed to stand to your feet only to be swarmed and mobbed with excited barking dogs. You wish you had more than two hands for everyone. You couldn’t believe how well this worked out! They didn’t kill you! And Snowdin was right there! Your journey was nearly over…but it felt like there was something you were forgetting. Something important. 

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!”

Everyone froze at the familiar voice. “Shit.” You forgot about Papyrus. Oh man. You peeked out from your cocoon of fuzzy white fur and wished you hadn’t. Holy shit. He looked pissed. He pointed toward the bridge. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WAITING WITH MY DEADLY GAUNTLET OF TERROR! I HAD TO RE-LIGHT THE FIRE TWICE!” He spotted you and pointed at you. “WHY IS THE HUMAN STILL ALIVE?” He demanded. The dogs nervously exchanged looks before Dogamy stepped forward.

“Well, see, she defeated us in combat.”

The skeleton cast a disbelievingly look in your direction. “…What?”

Dogaressa continued. “And then Greater Dog got injured and she fixed him.”

Papyrus closed his sockets and rubbed his skull, looking down. “Am I correct to assume that you not only lost to the human, but you also required her help?”

Doggo nodded. “Pretty much.” 

“I don’t believe you.” The dogs exchanged nervous glances. Papyrus said that far too calmly. His skull shot up, a glowing red socket fixing on them. “If you lost, you better be DUST!” With that, he clenched red glowing hands, conjuring sharp bones that immediately shot toward the group. 

Everyone fucking scattered, including you to your surprise as the ground practically exploded where you had all been congregated just moments before. You landed off to the side and turned around to see the damage. Papyrus’ attention was focused completely on the canine Monsters, attacking and throwing projectiles at them. They desperately dodged and deflected them, but exhaustion was evident in their bodies from their encounters with you. Was he going to kill them? You didn’t know. You could leave. No one ever gave third chances. Every instinct of self preservation was telling you that good things came in threes. This would have been perfect to just fucking bail. 

Yet once again, your body refused to budge. Despite feeling disoriented, exhausted, bruised and frozen, you could feel anger clench your chest at the brutal punishment they were receiving. This asshole had the nerve to fucking kidnap you and now he was puling this shit. You looked around for something to use as a weapon and saw nothing. All you had was snow. And snow. And more snow. What were you going to do? Throw a snowball at him?

Yes. Yes you were. Before you could stop yourself, you had rolled the most compact snowball you could make and lobbed that sucker at his head. He was mid attack when the snowball struck him in the back of the skull and he froze. You could see all eyes of the dog Monsters stare at you in horror as he turned around to face you. “Hey knock it off, asshole!” You lamely yelled.

“Did you…just…throw a…snowball…at me?” He asked lowly, his words punctuated with shock and danger. 

You puffed out your chest. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Yeah, yeah I did, you arrogant, pompous bag of hot air. What are you going to do about it, you tiny, limp dicked piece of shit?” He stared incredulously at you. 

~~~~~

“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”

You bolted through the town like a bat out of hell, passing a lot of bewildered, rather intimidating monsters. You probably would have been more terrified of them had you not been absolutely fleeing for your life at the moment. The Monsters would have possibly gone after you as well but they quickly saw who was pursuing you and got the fuck out of the way instead. And those that didn’t immediately move were shoved out of the way by an enraged, bone wielding Papyrus. 

Why in God’s name did you even think that was a good idea to taunt him?! And it didn’t help that you were starting to feel even more dizzy from the “celebratory toke” Doggo had forced upon you. Fuck, dude. Drugs were bad, kids. Don’t do them. 

Oh man, he was yelling again, wasn’t he? You could hear bits and pieces of it. “STOP RUNNING, YOU COWARD!” and “SOMETHING ELSE” oh, and your personal favorite, “YOUR BLOOD ON THE SNOW.” Yeah, that one especially got you moving. It was only after a loud bang behind you that you dared to peek a glimpse. 

Ha! Papyrus had tripped over some type of cart or something. Ha ha oh wow. He looked...even more mad. Shit. Must go faster. You continued to book it. You weighed your options. There was no way you could outrun him. You had to hide or something. You nearly crashed into two mailboxes as you considered this plan and looked around wildly. 

Oh hey, there was a house! With an ajar door. You risked another glance to see Papyrus still screaming bloody murder at the fallen wooden cart and you dashed into the house. You quickly shut and locked the door behind you with a big gasp. “Holy crap, that was the worst idea ever.”

“hey human!” You nearly shrieked in alarm at the voice before you realized you recognized it. It was Sans. Scary Sans. He was chilling on the couch in the middle of the room, the television blaring. 

“Holy crap, Sans, what are you doing here?” 

Sans shrugged. “it’s my house.” 

“What do you mean it’s your house?” You echoed. It took a moment for the words to sink in. “Wait. Your house?” You blinked. “If this is your house, then that means that Papyrus lives here too?”

“you’re pretty smart for a human.” He chuckled as dread settled in. “welcome to the lion’s den, sweetheart.”

You were so dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now the worst mistake ever. 
> 
> And with that, there is only one more chapter of our time in Underfell. I know, I know, some of you are disappointed (and some are relieved) but all things must come to an end. It will be a significantly longer chapter and there will be lots of warnings prior.
> 
> And as always, go give those artists some love: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	130. Mirror, Mirror Part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :D
> 
> Everyone having a good time? Yes, no? Well last chapter of the Underfell saga is here. 
> 
> So that general trigger warning for violence? There's going to be violence. So hang in there.

You were so dead. 

You panicked and reached for the door knob only to freeze. You go back out there, you were definitely going to die. Then again, accidentally entering the lion’s den wasn’t exactly the smartest life decision you made today. 

“What the fuck am I going to do?” You gasped. 

“better think quick. boss’ll be here any second now.” 

Your eyes surveyed the layout. There were some stairs but your knowledge of horror trivia told you going upstairs was a death sentence. Maybe. Maybe the kitchen? You could hide in the kitchen. 

You scrambled to the kitchen and looked hopefully for a window you could climb through but no such luck. You spotted the pantry and quickly closed yourself inside. 

You could hear the sound of screaming and yelling as the front door was busted open. “WHERE IS SHE?!” You could hear Papyrus shriek.

“where’s who, boss?”

“Don’t play dumb, Sans!” 

“i’m talking, ain’t i?” 

“Nevermind, I can track her. It comes with my advanced skills.” 

“yeah, all that snow she dragged in was really hard to spot on the carpet.” Shit, you knew that you should have knocked off the snow off your sneakers before you panickedly ran inside. Hindsight’s 20/20. 

“Shut up, Sans!” You held your breath. “She’s under the mistaken impression that there’s a way to avoid conflict if she just runs away or flirts with it.” 

“i dunno, seems to be working so far. “ 

“Silence, Sans!” Heavy footsteps thundered toward the kitchen and you swore silently. You looked around for something and you spotted an old frying pan. You grabbed, trying not to let it clank. “If you do not fight back, you will die.” You could hear Papyrus warn as he neared your hiding spot. You clutched the frying pan in your hands tightly. “I checked you before we began this little game of cat and mouse.” He sounded like he was right outside. “You have exp yet you cower and run like a fledgling.” You held your breath. “Prepare yourself!”

The cabinets door swung open and you shrieked as he loomed over you. Papyrus swung a blade and you barely deflected it with the pan. “Ha!” You managed with a disbelievingly chuckle. 

The luck was short lived as he backhanded you in the face. Initially, you could feel nothing. However the sting soon followed and you stumbled back against the wall in shock, dropping the pan. Papyrus cackled at your reaction. “Perhaps that sentimental cream puff was wrong about you. He said you were this intelligent, strong competitor.” Your mouth tasted of copper and your vision was unsteady. “You outsmarted the sentries, evaded capture and survived the frigid cold. Only to break down like a sniveling child.” You trembled. “You're nothing but some weak, pitiful slime.” Blood red gloves reached for you dangerously.

This was not going to be it. You were not going down like this. Something primal was taking root within you as you could feel your chest clench and your breathing become uneven. You were not going to be killed. You were not going to be killed. He grabbed you by the scruff of your top. 

And. 

You. 

Snapped.

You seized a can of tomato sauce and slammed it against his hand with a growl. You slipped out of the scrub top as he pulled back quickly, clenching his hand painfully. You grabbed the fallen frying pan and pushed him back, slamming it as hard as you could on his chest. He fell against the counter and you rushed out. 

“Very impressive, human,” he snarled already recovering from your double attack. He quickly dodged as you swung the frying pan again and brought his own fist down your wrist. Pain shot up your arm and you dropped the pan. You clutched the hurt limb. You're not sure if it was broken. It didn't matter. It hurt like hell for sure, but that only spurred whatever bloodlust had seized you. You used the hurt limb to punch him in the abdomen instead, further bruising your hand. 

He didn't anticipate that and fell against the kitchen counter, allowing you a moment of clarity. You snapped out of it and your eyes widened. Oh my God. Why the fuck weren't you running?! You quickly bolted out into the living room, passing Sans who glanced in your direction. 

“hey boss, save some for me.”

You shrieked as something sliced your now bare shoulder and your hand quickly went to touch it. He had cut you with some sharp bone projectile. You turned around to return the gesture with another punch.

You felt a hand clamp over your mouth. “I grow weary of your incessant shrieking,” he snarled close to your ear, tightening his grip. You quickly pulled his hand off and bit as hard as you could, puncturing holes in the leather skin of his gloves. He yanked his hand back and pushed you to the ground. “You bitch!” He swore, “you dare to bite me like a dog!? Do you have no decency.” He kicked you in the stomach. 

“Fuck you,” you growled, spitting at him. There was some blood in that one. His second attempt at striking at you was thwarted as you wrapped around his leg and bit into his calf. You're not sure if you hurt him but he looked furious. Good. 

“If you wanted to be a dog so badly, then I will treat you like one!” He moved away from you rapidly and for a moment you had hoped he was done with you. You attempted to rise again.

Suddenly something leathery wrapped around your neck and tightened, forcing out a cry of pain. Your hand quickly went to pry it off only for you to hear something slide into place at the back of your neck. Your fingers grasped the material and you immediately knew what it was. 

It was a collar. The fucker had collared you. “Kneel” He ordered and you struggled. He yanked the collar and you fell into a kneeling position. He released his hold on you. You could him laughing triumphantly above you.

“she looks good like that, boss.”

“Indeed, Sans. How fitting, perhaps I should keep her around. It would be nice to have an obedient bitch.” Your vision narrowed. You rolled on to your back and kicked him square where his testicles should be. Even if there was nothing present, the effect it produced was immediate.

Papyrus fell down to his knees and you head-butted him for good measure. You could hear Sans laughing hysterically as you backed away from the injured skeleton. 

“great dog ya got there. knows where to find a bone!” 

“Sans!! Shut the fuck up!”

You ran up the stairs before anyone could stop you and grabbed the first door you could find. “No no no no!! Stay out of my room!” Papyrus shouted after you but you paid him no mind. You opened it and shut it after you. You had enough sense to lock it, especially as you heard Papyrus scream in fury outside. You dragged over a chair and propped it underneath the door. Good timing too. The whole door began to shake furiously with the exertions of the skeleton. You needed something else in front of the door. “Don't you dare touch anything in my room!!” 

You spotted a bookshelf and dragged it to the door. With a good shove that surprised even yourself, you knocked it over against the door. The door stopped shaking. 

“What was that?!?! What did you do?!”

You laughed. “I’m going to fuck up your room!” 

“No! Don't you dare! Sans!”

“c'mon boss, you're saying you can't get passed a door!”

“She's barred the way!”

“heh. sucks to be you.”

“Nyehhhhh! You useless piece of argh!!!” The door splintered open and Papyrus stuck his skull in. His sockets focused on the fallen bookshelf. “My books! Do you know how many strategy guides and literature you have recklessly tossed to the ground?!” 

“Screw you!” You lobbed a particularly heavy one at him and struck him. He immediately backed out, with a yell. 

“what happened, boss?”

“She assaulted me with my Advanced Fighting Manual!”

“huh. looks like she really threw the book at you!”

You and Papyrus collectively groaned. “See! Even the human does not find your bad jokes funny!”

“thought she was a comedian. guess you should never judge a book by its cover.”

That last pun spurred on the furious skeleton. The door was busted open the rest of the way and Papyrus charged in only to trip over his bookcase. 

You spotted a table of toys and immediately ran to it. He rose to his feet and menacingly approached you.. You chucked a model at him and he slapped it out of the way. You expected him to advance on you but he froze and quickly looked down at the toy in horror. “Did you throw this at me?”

You looked around for anyone else. There was no one else. “Yes?”

“Do you know what this is?”

“Uh, a toy?”

“It is a battle simulator model!!! Those are incredibly valuable! I use them to practice battle scenarios!!” He explained.

“Uh, well they look like toys,” you admitted, picking up another one curiously. 

“Ignorant human! Hand them over so that may I end your life quickly.”

“Yeah...How about no?” Papyrus advanced but immediately stopped when you held out the toy protectively. “One more step and I rip this one's head off!” You warned.

Papyrus’ sockets widened. “Let's be reasonable about this.”

“Reasonable?! You put a collar on me!” You hollered.

“You bit me!” He countered.

“You're trying to kill me!”

“Touché.” There was an awkward silence between you both. You both shuffled your feet awkwardly. “It appears we are at a stalemate, human.”

You nodded breathlessly. “Yeah. Yeah we are.” He wouldn't attack you while you had his toys, er battle models and you were in no condition to keep fighting him. Although your adrenaline was starting to dip, you still couldn't really feel anything too...Not that this had been a bad thing when you were fighting but you were wondering just how much pain you were going to be in later. 

Papyrus watched you warily. “You can't keep holding that position. Sooner or later you will fall asleep.” Christ he was right. You needed a new plan. 

There was a whistle and you and Papyrus looked at the door. “wow, boss, and i thought my room was bad. Look at the mess you made!” Sans marveled through the hole of the bedroom door.

Papyrus stomped angrily. “This is the scene of a war stricken battlefield, Sans. You couldn't possibly understand.”

“sure, sure, just i didn't think you wanted to get her into your bedroom this badly.” 

“I found it insulting that you would even suggest that I would have any interest in this-this thing!” He spat, turning his head to make a point. Even more vehemently than he had in the past. 

Your vision flickered to Sans who winked at you. His words of coming up with a new strategy to defeat Papyrus echoed in your mind. If you couldn't beat him physically…

“Hey, Papyrus!” You tried, attempting to keep the malice out of your voice.

“The Terrible Papyrus,” he corrected.

“Right. Can I ask you a question?”

“I suppose, I could allow that. I am quite knowledgeable.”

“Who was your first kiss?” Judging by how his jaw dropped and the grin on Sans’ skull widened, you were on the right path. 

“I-what type of question is that?!”

You shrugged. “I was curious.”

“Well, a skeleton doesn't kiss and tell! Nyeh heh heh heh!” He decided.

You nodded. “Oh that's very noble of you.” You waited for him to start looking smug before you added in, “It is okay though if you have never kissed anyone.”

Papyrus panicked and laughed way too desperately. “Ah ha ha! How preposterous! Of course I have had a first kiss! I've had many first kisses! All were incredibly successful because I have immense skill as a romantic!”

You raised an eyebrow. “You're a romantic?”

Papyrus cleared his throat and eyed you suspiciously. “You doubt me?”

“Well...It's hard. I mean,” you batted your eyes at him, “a skilled warrior, an intellectual and a romantic all in one? I've never met anyone like that. That might be too great to ask for, even of you. If only I could see one, but alas that's impossible.” You theatrically threw up your hands. “I suppose we better return to fighting.”

“H-hold on one moment, human,” Papyrus interrupted, “I will be able to satisfy your last request to see a figure of such caliber.”

You opened your mouth in mock surprise. “Really? That would be so generous of you!”

He struck a pose. “Behold, for I am that figure.”

You fanned yourself. “Oh my gosh, I'm absolutely humbled.” He soaked in the praise like a sponge. His weapons started to dematerialize so you continued, “I'm sure your charms are nearly perfect.”

“Why of course they... Nearly?!”

You shifted your shoulder to allow one of the straps of the tank top to fall slightly. “Oh. Well, it's nothing.”

“What is it?”

“It’s strange that I am not that attracted to you.”

“Y-you’re not?!”

“Well, you are very handsome but I would have thought that I would be easily swayed to your will under your charms.”

“Of course you should be,” he asserted.

“But I'm not.” And never would be, you wanted to add. 

“Well, er, that's because you have not seen the extent of my capabilities because you have been blinded by my combat brilliance. Which I will now reveal to you.” He beamed at you and you tried not to shudder at the sharp fangs that carried that smile. “Nyeh heh heh heh! Human, prepare yourself to be seduced by the Great and Terrible and Papyrus.” 

Bingo. 

You smiled. “That is very magnanimous of you!” 

“Ah! Of course it is. I am very magnanimity in nature.” His weapons finished vanishing and he approached. You placed the toy down on the counter safely and you could see visible relief set on his skull at the gesture.

“Right. Now, uh...The first thing we should do is exchange compliments.” He waited a few seconds before coughing, “Why don't you start?”

“Oh. Uh..” Think quickly. “I find your laugh...Sexy?”

Those were not the words he expected to hear you imagined as his skull’s sockets widened in surprise. “S-sexy?” You nodded, biting your lip, trying to look as sweet and demure as possible. 

Papyrus quickly turned around and you could hear him freak out, subtly. 

“Is everything alright?” You asked. 

He coughed and cleared his throat. “Yes, everything is fine!” He whipped around and faced you again and you couldn't help but notice he had straightened himself out a bit. He was posing. Somehow, you found it cute. 

“Human, I find you far less annoying than you were a few hours ago.”

You found him less cute. “Ah, uh-”

“Wait wait, I have a better one!” He interrupted. “Uh, your blood is as red as your lips.” You couldn't help but quickly bring a hand to your lips. He was right... Technically. Since you were bleeding from a busted lip. 

“Ooh. How sweet.”

“...Would you like a towel for them?”

“Yes, please”

Papyrus handed you a tissue from his desk and you cleaned off the dried blood. “Well, the next step is we battle...Which we have already done. Although I did not defeat you, yet.”

“Do we have to fight?” You asked. 

He shot you a scornful look. “Of course! I cannot think of anything else we could do to determine who was superior!”

“We could go on a date.”

“...What?”

“Uh huh. Flirting, dinner, making out, ya know? But you don't have to if that’s a bit much,” you carried on.

“Well of course we will do this. You didn't let me finish is all. Yes. Of course that is the next step. I have flirted you with beyond expectations. Dinner. Yes, yes. I already have the most sumptuous meal prepared in my food museum for this occasion. Wait here.”

He turned around and carefully navigated around the wreckage until he left the room. You realized you had been holding your breath this entire time and shakily exhaled. “Oh man. This was a bad idea.” You were still dizzy and you were really hoping it wasn’t from blood loss. Your hands absentmindedly touched the pocket of your scrub pants and your brow furrowed. What the fuck was in your pocket?

You pulled out a small baggy of dog biscuits. You stared at it incredulously. Is that what Doggo had slipped into your pocket. You stared at it a bit longer. “Oh my God, I’m not seriously thinking about eating these, am I?” Then again, wasn’t monster food supposed to help you feel better or something? You could have sworn one of the guards said something like that. Besides, maybe it only looked like a dog biscuit. Perhaps it was like a pastry thing. You pulled one out and took a massive bite. 

Oh my God, it was terrible.

You swallowed barely and doubled over, gagging and coughing. That was one of the worst ideas ever. 

“you okay, dollface?”

You looked over at Sans who stood in the doorway. Holding a broom? It looked like a broom. Then again, you didn’t really feel too good and focusing your vision was getting a bit harder. “I don't feel so good,” you admitted out loud. Now that the adrenaline had receded, you couldn’t help but feel slightly off. 

“yeah well you're going to feel a lot worse after a taste of the boss’s cooking,” Sans chuckled. 

“First the dog biscuit joint and now lethal cooking,” you groaned. 

Sans hesitated. “you smoked one of doggo's biscuits?”

You groaned. “Not intentionally. But I did just eat like half of one of these dog treats.”

“you ATE one?” Sans asked incredulously, his smile faltering.

“I know, I know. These are fucking terrible. I don’t know, I thought it was a good idea. Christ, my head hurts,” you moaned, holding your head.

“when did you eat it?” He questioned you.

“I dunno, maybe 30 seconds ago?”

“can you throw up on command?” He pressed.

“No.”

Sans cleared his throat, a nervous smile on his face. “yeah. you’re screwed.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“i mean, it's going to get a lot worse.”

You paused and peered at him suspiciously “What? What do you mean?”

“if i were you, i'd get done with boss and find that remote as quick as you can before you really start feeling the effects of those ‘biscuits”.” He wasn't directly stating what the effects could be but you could imagine they weren't good. 

“Sans!!” Papyrus’ shrill voice echoed from down the hall. Looks like he had returned. So much for searching the room. You quickly shoved the bag back into your pocket as his voice came closer. “Why are you here? Are you trying to win over my human date with your terrible puns?” Sans shot you another wink and stepped out of the doorway toward his brother.

“wouldn't dream of it boss. just was going to see if you wanted this broom.”

“Your sudden attentiveness to cleanliness is suspicious. Why?”

“well,” you could hear Sans’ voice continue, “don’t you want to sweep her off her feet?”

There was a moment of silence before the sound of another frustrated shriek broke out and a plate broke. You could hear Sans running away in his slippers as Papyrus undoubtedly charged after him. Their voices trailed off and you realized that it was quiet. Sans had just bought you some time. Now was your chance to look for that damn remote. You immediately began to search the room, opening the drawers, removing books, looking into trash bins…nothing.

Damn. You dropped to the ground and looked under the dark race car bed. There on the floor next to the wall was a familiar looking remote. You reached out to grab it but you couldn’t quite reach it. “Dammit,” you swore, rising to your feet. You climbed unsteadily on top of the bed and stuck your hand down the edge to grab it. You successfully seized it and pulled it back up. 

“Human! I have…returned?” You squeaked and nearly dropped the remote. You quickly turned to spot Papyrus standing right next to you, new plate in hand. He stared at you confusedly. You blanked and stared back at him wide eyed. Fuck, how had he snuck up on you? There was no way you would have zoned out enough to not hear him. 

“Uh…hi?” There was no way you would be able to teleport now. He was too close and if he so much touched you slightly, you’d be taking him with you. And the last thing you needed was to escape with a murderous skeleton.

“Why-why are you lying on my bed?” He asked. You swallowed, realizing he hadn’t spotted the remote clenched in your hand. “Is this part of the date?”

Oh my God. You could have sworn Sans said he wasn’t a virgin. Did they not fuck on beds?! You had the overwhelming urge to start giggling but restrained yourself. Barely.

Focus. You had to take advantage of this. You posed yourself suggestively on the bed. “It sure is, sugar!” you agreed, tucking the remote under the pillow as discreetly as you could manage. 

He didn’t seem to notice it. “I thought we were going to have dinner first,” he questioned. 

Whoops. “Well, I was thinking we could come back to dinner after this.”

“What is this?”

“Whatever you want it to be. Some people say it’s the best part of the date,” you enunciated that point by running your fingers over your bruised lips in an attempt to be seductive. 

You could sense he was still wary. Rightfully so, unfortunately. Papyrus’ sockets kept flickering over your body and you realized you still had a shot. You just had to amp it up. You climbed to your knees and faced him, rocking back and forth to steady yourself. “So, do you want to start the kiss or should I?”

Any wariness vanished instantly and his jaw dropped. “What?”

“Oh, did you not reach that far in your dating handbook?”

“Ha! Of course I did! I just think it’s preposterous that you think that I would allow you to go first…however, I ah, will make this exception just this once. You may start if you’re brave enough.”

Brave? No. Foolhardy? Yes. You debated internally how you were going to do this as he continued his tirade. “Naturally, as this will be your greatest kiss, it behooves me to tell you just how much this may overpower you with its natural strength and dominance!”

You groaned. “Oh my God, just shut the fuck up.” You froze. Shit did you say that outloud?! Papyrus’ sockets glared down at you harshly. You could catch the glow of red off his gloves. Fuck fuck fuck.

“How dare y-!” You jutted forward and pressed your bruised lips against his fangs with a moan. He went rigid for a moment before he returned the gesture, dropping the plate of burnt spaghetti and pushing back against you awkwardly. His fangs stung painfully against your bruised lips as the kiss increased in intensity but you didn't back down. 

Your hands traveled to his chest and pulled him closer and he obliged clumsily. The initial roughness faded only slightly but it was quickly replaced by nips and bites to your lips. Christ, this shouldn’t have felt good but in your bloodlust state, the feeling of his fangs pinching you painfully just made you see stars. You dug your nails roughly into his sides and he grunted at the action before slamming you forcefully back on the bed. Your sense of orientation was starting to become harder to figure out but that wasn’t going to stop you. 

His hands pulled down the straps of your shirt and he grasped them rough enough to make bruises. He pulled away from you briefly and you drew him close, running your teeth against the bones of his neck. He jolted and his hand twisted in your hair. “H-human, ah, that feels good!” He growled, pressing the rest of his body against yours. 

You pulled away, feeling that the very action took far too long than it should have. You focused again. “I can make it feel even better if you want to step out of the room for a second so I can get comfortable.”

He yanked your head backwards by your hair and you shrieked out a little more huskily than you would have liked. The sensation was quickly overridden as he assaulted your neck with his fangs. “Nyeh heh heh, of course,” he purred, pulling away from your sensitive neck. His voice still wavered from arousal. “I w-will however, hah, be taking this with me.” Your eyes opened at the statement to see him dangling the remote in front of your face. 

“W-what?” You gaped.

Papyrus smirked triumphantly at you. “You’re not as clever as you think you are, human. I saw right through this display. I am immune to your charms.” he taunted, continuing to press you into the bed.

You glanced down to see the bulge in his pants that begged to differ. “If you’re so immune, why do you have the biggest erection right now?” You spat, pointing down toward his pelvis. He glanced down and immediately went red in the face.

“I-uh-well-ah that’s just a-a trick!”

“Well, if it’s just a trick, then this won’t hurt a bit!” And with that, you kicked him as hard as you could in the pelvis. He let out a rather womanly yelp and stumbled off of you, the remote clattering to the ground in the process. Despite how heavy you felt, you lunged off the bed and made a grab for the remote.

“Not so fast!” you could hear Papyrus choke before his clawed hand grabbed your ankle and dragged you back toward him. He pinned you to the ground. The glint of metal from a weapon unsheathing caught your eye and you began to fight back even harder, kicking and scratching.

“You-you fucking bastard!” You swore.

The skeleton laughed and winced as his legs moved a little too quickly. “This game of cat and mouse was fun but it now comes to an end! Any last words, human?” 

“I’ll fucking kill you!” 

“Too late for that, farewell, human!” He lifted the weapon to stab you and you struggled once more uselessly. 

The sound of a bag hitting the ground stop the skeleton ‘s weapon mid descent. He spared it a glance before doing a double take. He placed the weapon down and retrieved the bag, staring irritably at its contents. “Is this…?” He turned his attention back at you and he grasped your face roughly. 

“Get your hands off me!” 

“Let me see your eyes!” You spat at him. He wiped the saliva off his skull and growled. “Very well.” Blinding pain smarted your cheek and you realized he slapped you. Not too hard but enough to extenuate the dizziness. You called him every name in the book. His gloves were on your face again, prying your eyes open. He stared into them for a a few seconds. “You’ve been drugged,” he realized.

“Your mom’s been drugged!” Your voice slurred. Fuck him, what the fuck was he waiting for? He removed his fingers and shook his skull. 

“I cannot claim victory under these conditions,” he spoke, resheathing his weapon. 

“That’s because you’re a chickenshit coward.” He stood up, wincing again. You must have actually struck him pretty hard a couple of times. Good.

“No, because it’s dishonourable, you little bitch. Now stand up.” He watched you listlessly as you struggled to get to a sitting position. 

That piece of shit just thinks that’s it? Who does he think he is? Drug addled rage filled your body and you finally righted yourself. “Asshole, who said we were done?”

He tensed at the words slightly but did not act. “There is no point in fighting further under these conditions. I’m willing to spare. This is your chance to accept my mercy.”

“Accept this.” You felt like a badass saying that even though you stumbled through the actual words. You slammed your most likely dislocated shoulder into him in an attempt to knock him back. Somehow, he could detect your dismal attack and used this move to slam you down onto the bed instead. You took a swing at him but he deflected the attack, instead pinning the assaulting appendage down as well as yourself back onto the bed.

His fangs pressed dangerously against your throat. “You have no idea how easy it would be for me to take my dagger and slice open your pretty little neck,” he scowled. 

“Get off me!” You growled, trying to kick him again only for his knee to deflect and separate your legs, allowing him even closer to you.

“If you are so determined to perish, I can accommodate your request. But we are going to have to find something to do while we wait for your sobriety, now won’t we?” You tried to push him off but it was like trying to move a boulder. “With your cooperation, you could allow me to study you for a bit. Afterall,” His low voice almost whispered in your ear, “I pride myself on knowing my opponents as intimately as I can.” 

Everything was echoing but you were pretty sure that was still a threat even if the word cooperation was used. Your other hand was still free and you swung it at him, only for him to grab your wrist and squeeze it hard. You let out a pained gasp. “Would shattering your wrist be necessary to make you submit?” He snarled.

“Excuse me, but I’m going to ask that you refrain from shattering my human’s wrist?” Papyrus blinked in confusion and immediately looked down at his own chest. A blue glow emanated from beneath his armor. 

The pressure on your wrist was immediately lifted and he retreated backwards. You struggled to stand up only to feel him grasp you again. “Don’t touch me!” You swore, throwing another punch at your assailant. He caught your hand. “Let go of me, I’ll fucking end you!” You swore, looking up at him.

It wasn’t Papyrus. Well. Not this world’s Papyrus. It was Cherry. Your Papyrus. His sockets watched you in alarm and he released your trapped fist. It was Papyrus. Your Papyrus. You had been fighting tooth and nail to get back to him and here he was in the flesh. Sort of. “Human? Are you okay?”

You tried to straighten yourself out. A sense of shame filling you almost instantly. He wasn’t supposed to see you like this, filthy, clothes torn, bleeding. You did not just get the shit kicked out of you. You had to convince him of that. You hung your head down so as not to look at him, pulling up the straps of your tank top. “I’m fine.” You flinched as he placed a phalange under your chin and lifted your face back up. “Listen it’s not-“

“Let me see.” You remained silent, words were hard. His sockets drifted to your neck and he paused. He appeared perturbed for a moment but quickly continue his visual inspection of you. You tensed as his fingers traveled to your face until he finally swept your hair out of your face, exposing what was most likely a bruised eye.

Papyrus thumb hovered over your eye. “Alright then,” he muttered. He pulled away, allowing you to sit back on the bed numbly. “Edge!”

“In this universe-“ Papyrus began.

“Edge! My human requires an apology.”

“I’m not apologizing,” Edge grumbled. 

Their voices seemed far away and God, you were so tired. Papyrus sound more insistent. You didn’t catch what he said but it seemed to put Edge on edge. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s not very sincere.”

“I don’t care.” 

Your vision was obscured and this time it was Edge. He looked incredibly uncomfortable. “I-ah-would like to apologize for my treatment of you.” One of his arms was pinned behind his back. You didn’t really register why. 

“It’s-it’s fine,” you slurred. 

Edge was released and immediately backed away, rubbing feeling back into his wrist. You tried to lie down but found Papyrus already lifting you off the bed. “Papyrus, I’m really-really tired,” you protested, as your head bobbed against his chest.

“I know, but it’s really important for you not to fall asleep,” He gently informed you. You gritted your teeth and held onto his arm.

“Alright, I’ll try.” He clutched you against him like you could vanish at any moment and pressed the button on his remote. The world devolved into a blend of colors and despite how hard you tried, you slipped into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus we return back to our universe, with no emotional repercussions of our time in Underfell. 
> 
> Papyrus has his work cut out for him next chapter. 
> 
> Go give those artists some love: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	131. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, my second and third job is finished and now I can get back to focusing on story writing (and practice on drawing too - I'm gonna draw the best stick figure this side of the Mississippi)
> 
> Anyway, time for some damage control and angst.
> 
> You guys have been very supportive and I am working on responding to all of your wonderful comments. But seriously, thank you again. I'm not sure I could have gotten this far without you guys.

The feeling of something cold pressing against your forehead awoke you with a shudder. Your blinked blearily as you tried to regain your surroundings and you attempted to jerk away from the cold object. “Don’t move,” a familiar voice ordered and you stopped moving. The cold object returned as your vision cleared. You were on a bed…not yours. But it certainly was familiar. You could make out the sides of a bright red race car out of the corner of your eyes. This was Papyrus’ room. Was it your Papyrus? 

You turned your attention to the voice and looked up Papyrus. There was no scar. He was smiling. This was your skeleton. He pressed a cold compress against your temple. It stung but you resisted the urge to push it away. “Papyrus? Am I back?”

“Yes. We are in my room.” 

“How long have I been here?”

“About three hours”

You sighed and settled down in the bed. “I've been unconscious for three hours?”

“Yes, despite me asking you not to.”

You chuckled and winced. “Everything hurts.”

“I'm not surprised. You gave Edge a difficult time. Normally it takes me a good minute to get him into a full nelson but it only took me half this time.”

You eyed his still gloved hands. “So why am I here? Do you plan to heal me?”

“Kinda. You were unconscious and it's rather invasive to do that sort of that thing when you can't consent.”

“Heh, that's true.” You tried to keep your voice even as everything stung. Your body, your pride, fuck everything hurt. The cold mercifully left and you blinked in surprise as a spoon full of soup hovered in front of your mouth. 

“Open up please!”

You felt yourself heat up. “Oh uh, thanks but I can feed myself?” You tried to move your arm and realized you couldn't. You looked to at your arm to see it lying by your side, still attached but unresponsive. The inward panic you started to undergo must have been evident because Papyrus quickly put a hand on your face, drawing your attention again. 

“Your shoulder is dislocated.”

“Wh-what?!” 

“Yes. Undyne and I were going to reset it.”

Panic abated. Somewhat. “Is that safe?” You asked.

“I'm 75% sure that it is. But until then-” He held up the spoon but you eyed him suspiciously. 

“Did you cook the soup?”

He shook his head sadly. “Unfortunately not. But not to worry, King Fluffybu-er Asgore, made you some. It's not quite the same as mine, but it's a close second.”

The King made you some soup? You never had a soup prepared by royalty before. “What type of soup is it?”

“It's going to be cold soup if you don't eat it!” Papyrus huffed. 

“Okay, okay, sorry!” You finally opened up and ate the soup. It was terrible. You swallowed anyway. 

Papyrus served you another spoonful and you ate it as well. Despite how terrible it was, you had to admit you were feeling a little better. You missed a little bit on the third spoonful and Papyrus was quick to clean it off before it could drip from your lips. 

“Thank you,” you quietly thanked. 

“Of course. Wouldn't want you to get dirty.”

“No, I mean. Thank you, for coming to get me,” you clarified. 

Papyrus smiled at you, the absence of fangs relieving you further. “Absolutely! You're my human, after all!” He hesitated. “Well, I mean not mine as in like a personal pet or ward or anything like that,” he quickly tried to clarify, “I meant mine like my good friend who's well being I really care about and don't want anything bad to happen to because I would be devastated.”

You smiled. It hurt a bit less when you smiled. “Me too.” He finished stripping off his gloves and motioned for you to come close.

His phalanges had just alighted on your arm before he continued, “Sans hadn't recharged our remote so I had to wait for it to finish charging before I could come get you.”

Even with the spreading warmth of the healing magic, you couldn't help but feel your stomach clench coldly. The remote. Edge still had his remote. That meant at any moment, he could just appear and finish what he started. 

What if you were with your family or your friends? Would he take his revenge on them too? You could barely protect yourself. It would be impossible to save him from his wrath.

Even as reassurance tried to ebb in to you, you resisted. Knowing that any second he could swoop in and take everything away from you was terrifying. What could you do? Could you even walk down the street without having to constantly keep an eye over your shoulder? Oh my God. Could you ever sleep again? 

You were broken from your thoughts as strong arms enveloped you. Your partner was holding you. “Papyrus,” you gasped. 

“I’m here if you want to talk.” 

You bit your lip before clenching your fingers into the front of his shirt. You didn’t want to say you were scared. “What if he comes back?” you finally admitted. 

“Nyeh heh heh, you’ll just have to defeat him again.” 

You gasped, “I can’t.” 

“Of course you-” The skeleton stopped as your grip tightened on his shirt. 

You looked up at him. “I can’t,” you emphasized. He was silent. “Maybe you can, because you’re a guard and you’re always supposed to be ready for anything but I can’t. I can’t imagine my life always having to look over my shoulder to see if Edge decides this is the day he’s going to take take revenge.”

“I wouldn’t-”

“Or having you constantly having to watch out for me.” Your eyes met his sockets pleadingly. “I don’t know what to do,” you admitted, your voice trembling. 

His expression softened which was kind of impressive for a skull. His naked hands gently stroked your face. “Everything will be alright,” he reassured you. 

“How do you know?” 

“I’ll have a talk with him,” he insisted, cradling your face between his hands, “Just trust me, okay?” 

You looked into his sockets. He was telling the truth. You relaxed. “Alright, I trust you.” 

His skull lit up. “You do?”

You smiled childishly. “Yeah, I do.” 

“Wowie!” Papyrus exclaimed, “I’m really good at this friendship with benefits things, aren’t I?” 

You chuckled, “What?” 

“You benefit from how awesome I am at this friendship thing!” You giggled. 

“I certainly do, maybe I can help benefit you in some way,” you cooed. 

“You already do.” You realized how close you were to him. Your lips were only inches away from his teeth. If you jutted your head forward just a little bit, you would be kissing. You felt your face turning red at the thought and you were pretty sure neither of you were breathing in anticipation of your next move.

“When's Undyne coming?” You blurted out, backing up slightly, not enough to disconnect his hands from your face but enough to put some breathing room between you both.

“She should have been here already,” Papyrus mused as he wiped gently at your face which felt less bruised. “I'll go ahead and set it for you.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Of course! Here let me just-”

You sat up quickly. “Hold on, does this hurt?”

Papyrus nodded. “Absolutely!” You felt your trust in him waiver slightly, despite the honest answer. 

“Can't I get some anesthetic or something?”

“Oh not to worry, I already have a gag ready” Papyrus assured you. 

You raised an eyebrow. “.... What?”

He shrugged. “In the human medical books, they always have the patient with a gag in their mouth. I figured that provided pain relief in some way.”

Your face was way too warm and your heart was beating way too fast for this. “Sorta? It's supposed to distract-I’m sorry but are you really going to gag me?” You blurted out. 

He nodded and pulled out a piece of cloth. “Ready?” You were completely caught off guard by the nonchalance of his actions and nodded along dumbly. “Excellent!” It wasn't until you felt his fingers secure it behind your head that you reacted. 

You attempted to ask if he was serious but it came out a series of muffles instead. He picked up your limp. “Okay, here we go!” he forced the appendage up into your shoulder and you could hear the unmistakable click of bone popping into place. 

You also went into immediate excruciating agony. You screamed into your gag and Papyrus was at your side holding you in an instant. “Did it hurt?” A teary hurried nod. “Great! I did it right! I wasn't quite sure.” You could hear him sigh into your ear. 

Son of a bitch. The door slammed open and Undyne rushed in, already armed and ready to go. “Edge, you son of a bitch! Let go of-” She stopped and stared at you both. “Uh...What's going on here?”

“I relocated the human’s shoulder!’

“....And she is gagged?”

“Well of course! How else was I supposed to do it?”

You rolled your eyes. This was going to suck. 

~~~~~

After what was easily one of your more cringeworthy talks about safety and proper restraint, Papyrus and Undyne mercifully left you alone to recover. You rubbed the previously incapacitated appendage, wincing at the dull throb of pain that this action brought about. Although your skin had healed rather quickly, it was still uncomfortable. Your eyes flickered around the room for that ice pack and fell instead on a collar. 

The collar. You swallowed before taking it carefully. It was a dog collar, a nice one it felt like actual leather, but a little too rough looking for your tastes. Small studs decorated the outside as you continued to study it. You spotted the inscription inside it and froze. “Property of the Great and Terrible Papyrus”. You continued to stare at those words even after they started to blur. 

“Human?”

Your head snapped up at the skeletons voice. He was outside.

“Yeah?”

“Would you like me to bring you more soup?”

“Uh..Sure?” 

“Wonderful! I'm so happy to hear that. I will return shortly.” Your attention flickered back to the collar and noticed it was vibrating. 

No, wait, it wasn’t vibrating. Your hands were trembling. Your whole body was trembling. “Ha, ha,” you managed weakly, “I’m shaking.” Why were you shaking? You gritted your teeth and tried to force yourself to stop. Your stomach clenched apprehensively as you failed.

You wanted to go home. You rose to your feet unsteadily, spotting your duffel sitting by the bed. The collar was was in your bag. Had you done that? Christ, all the more reason to leave. You zipped up the bag, opened the door and nearly ran smack into Papyrus. 

“Hello again, impatient for more soup I see?”

“Actually, I wanted to go home.”

Papyrus appeared startled by your admission. “Oh-oh. Right, I see. Yes, it would be a bit too much to presume you would want to train after this.” You nodded. “Very well, wait a moment while I gather your things.” He hesitated but gently placed his hand onto your shoulder. 

“What?” You asked. 

“I think I should teach you some self defense training.” You bit your lip, despite its soreness from bleeding earlier. “You are very strong, I just want to make sure you can be strong against those who want to hurt you.”

“I'm not really feeling up to that at the moment-”

“I realize that. Not now. But soon. I want you to be aware of your surroundings. Anything can be a weapon to defend yourself if you use it correctly.”

You nodded. Papyrus stepped out of your way and allowed you to pass by. He stepped back briefly into the room. His sockets fell on the spot where the collar had lain and noticed with some apprehension that it was empty. He sighed and shut the door after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to have some nsfw. And it's not what you think. 
> 
> Go give those artists some love: [Must Love Animals Fanart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10725156)


	132. I'm fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Beginning of the year, near the end of January and I'm FINALLY getting my shit together. Hurray! :D
> 
> This is both a regular chapter and a mini chapter. So if you don't want to see Papyrus' POV, stop at the first ~~~~~
> 
> Warning: Some triggering thoughts of self loathing.

You had been slightly surprised when Papyrus had helped you downstairs and you saw Toriel and Sans sitting in the living room. They looked like they had wanted to say something when you both had come down the stairs but they were hushed into silence. There some quiet talking amongst the two skeletons before Papyrus shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I need to get the human home. We can talk when I get home.”

“alright, bro.”

Papyrus kept his word and drove you home. The drive back was quiet. Neither of you said much. There wasn’t much to talk about. You rubbed your shoulder. It was still sore but being able to move it was a relief nonetheless. “I can go from here,” you explained to Papyrus when he parked. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you up?” He asked. 

“It’s fine.” You did not enjoy feeling helpless.

“Very well. Don’t hesitate to call me, okay? I’ll be there in a jiffy.” 

Edge would have you dead before that if he desired. You forced a smile. “Okay, thank you. I’ll see you later, Papyrus.” You hoped. 

You trudged up the stairs and let yourself in. You immediately dropped your stuff and snatched a knife from the kitchen. You began a thorough search of the apartment, clutching the knife to you protectively. Only when you were assured that there was no one else in your house did you put the knife down. You dropped your duffel bag to the side of your bed and began to empty it. You pulled your change of clothes you never got to wear but still threw them in the laundry hamper. They felt dirty. 

You reached in and your hand brushed the collar. You froze before pulling your hand away like it bit you. You pushed the duffle bag to the side with a shiver and looked around. Paranoia was not a feeling you were all that familiar with but you were quickly becoming bosum buddies with it. Your bed had lumps in it and you smoothed it out, pausing as you felt something hard. You uncovered it. 

It was the bone Papyrus had left you. For your protection. You snorted angrily. Your protection, huh? Didn’t do much help for you so far. You felt tight and bitter. And to a certain extent, ashamed. Edge had roughed you up sure, but there was a part of you that responded to that type of treatment. Granted it was only sexual for a bit before it turned to murdery rage, but that was still a brief time where you would have been willing to do things with him. 

You clenched the bone tightly in your hand. You did not like losing control like that. One of the few things you prided yourself on was the ability to control your body. And it felt like you had been robbed of that. Well, you were the only one who decided if you were going to feel good. And right now, that’s what you wanted to do. The feeling of bone in your hand did unsettle you, having been too close to Edge today and his attacks. You didn’t want to touch it. 

You laid down on your back initially, holding the bone. You grumbled at the position. You didn’t want to be bottom. You got on your knees and grabbed one of your pillows. You placed the bone under the pillow sheet and tucked the pillow between your legs. Normally, you’d ease your way into this but not today. You rammed into it hard and gasped at the pain. You could take this. You were strong. 

You ground your body into the bone, grabbing the sheets. If you ever saw that prick again, you’d...die. Your eyes widened before they hardened. No. You weren’t going to die. You would be steel. You would fight for everything you got. You would kill him if you had to. 

The burst of anger drove you to push the bone into your entrances through the cloth, despite knowing it was too big to fit. You wanted to feel something right now. A sense of accomplishment. That you could conquer this. That you would never let yourself be weak again. You fingers were holding on so tightly to the sheets they were turning white. You hated your weakness. You hated the fact that you could bleed. You hated the fact that your life was at the whim of some self centered asshole who had a bunch of toys.

Although your heart beat with forced arousal, you still felt cold and clammy. You didn't feel good. You didn't feel sexy. You felt dirty and used. But you could get passed that. You just needed to push yourself more to get to that climax you wanted. “Fuck it,” you swore. “Let’s just do this.” You could take the bone as it was. You didn’t need to protect yourself with a pillow. There was nobody who could protect you. You were on your own and would have to learn to deal with it. You shook the pillow and the bone fell out. You grasped it with the hand not wound up in the sheets only to gasp as your world came to a stop.

All the rage, anger, malice drained out of you in an instant, like you had been sucked dry. You let the bone slip from your hand and backed up on your bed. “What am I doing?” You whispered to yourself. This wasn’t like you. Did you really just think about killing someone? Holy hell. What was wrong with you? You looked at the bone and sighed. This was not what you wanted. You didn’t want to get off like this. You were doing this to feel more in control? Well, you certainly didn’t feel like you were control then.

You stood up. “I’m going to eat a piece of cake,” you declared to nobody. You could have sworn your heard your neighbor quietly respond with a ‘Good for you’ but you weren’t entirely sure. You tucked the bone away and sauntered into the kitchen. In the freezer was the chocolate cake you had been saving for ...well, a long time. It looked like it had some severe freezer burn. Still, you cut a large slice, nuked it in the microwave and walked back into your room, but not before flipping off your table in the living room. 

“Fuck you table, this is bed cake, not table cake,” you said between mouthfuls of cake. As you carried your prize back into the room, you could hear your phone vibrating. Shit, had you turned it on silent? You glanced at the time. It was close to eleven. You answered it quickly. “Hello?”

“Hi, Lori!” A familiar voice greeted. 

You cocked your head. “Papyrus?” 

“Yes it is me, eh, calling! How are you?” 

You shrugged. “I’m fine. You?” You asked, stuffing a piece of cake in your mouth. 

There was a bit of delay on his end before he responded, “Oh. I, I am okay. What are you doing right now?” 

You looked at the cake. “Uh, doing push ups,” you lied, trying not to sound like you had a humongous chunk of cake stashed in your cheeks like a goddamn squirrel.

“Oh! That’s good. I’m just sitting here on my bed, you know, just thinking of you.” 

You tried to swallow as quietly as you could. “Uh huh...was there something you wanted to tell me?”

“Oh yes! The reason I was calling. I wanted to see if...you...wanted to go outfit shopping on Sunday!”

Oh shit. You had never followed up with your mom about looking for a dress. You hated clothes shopping. But the performance was only a week and a half away. “Uh...yeah. Sure, that sounds good.” 

“Fantastic! I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you at practice,” you agreed, “Good night, Papyrus.”

“Good night, human!” 

You hung up the phone with a shake of your head. You took another mouthful of cake before jumping out of bed. “Shit, shit. My mom.” You ran over and dragged your laptop to your bed. You logged into your email and spotted an email from your mom. You double clicked it:

“Hi honey! I got your email about the dress. Did you find one yet? Your dad and I are doing some research. Have you gone to the mall yet? I know you hate the mall but I hear there is a nice selection of dress stores. There’s one called Lyndsor on the third floor that seems promising. Anyway, we love you and hope to see you soon.” 

You quickly typed back: “Hi guys, no. No dress yet. I’m going to the mall on Sunday and I’ll check it out. And thank you. Let me know what you find.” 

The email sent and you put the laptop away. You had your cake. And you were going to eat it too. Edge be damned. You were going to eat this whole piece even if it killed you. 

You passed out halfway and smeared chocolate cake all over your pillow instead. 

~~~~~

Toriel was gone by the time Papyrus returned home. Sans had said they needed to have a talk at some point, but it could wait for now, provided it happened soon. Papyrus was grateful from the reprieve of a serious conversation, his skull still abuzz with everything that had happened today. And how you were doing after it all. 

He had to admit, you took a lot more damage than he anticipated. And your shoulder dislocating too after all that? Ouch. He was glad you had all the muscle and flesh to keep everything internal. The Monster soup he had been able to feed you had removed most of your injuries and he was able to remedy the rest. So physically, you seemed perfectly fine. Mentally? Well…

He wasn’t expecting you to freely share your mind when he healed you, but he didn’t anticipate you immediately shutting him out at the slightest thought of, well, fear. He still didn’t quite get why you were afraid. You hadn’t looked scared when he finally made it into Edge’s room. More angry than anything. If he was being honest, there was still something off about the situation when he walked in. He never pinned anyone like Edge had done to you. Or said the things he overheard the scary skeleton say to you. That was a conversation that needed to happen when they met again in the future. 

But that was later. Now it was time to rest. The recital was fast approaching. He made plans to go shopping this weekend for his outfit. It had to be amazing and spectacular. Sans had somehow managed to get his own outfit already, a feat that Papyrus found to be quite impressive but attributed this move to the Queen physically bringing Sans to the mall. Sans had offered to help him sew sequins on whatever outfit he chose because sequins were a must for a dance performance. Especially one as important as this!

In the year he had been above ground, he had never seen any public performance of Monster and Human. Sure, there had been Monsters’ rights marches and public declarations. But except for Mettaton and his show, there hadn’t been really anything that mixed the two species together. He resolved himself. He wasn’t going to be prepared for such an exciting event if he did not get sleep so he switched into pajamas. 

There was an ache in his chest but he attributed it to his lingering concern for your well being. You would be back to 100% soon enough, you just needed a good night’s sleep of your own and then everything would be back to normal tomorrow! Comforted by this thought, Papyrus lulled himself to sleep only to wake up in front of your apartment. 

Well, this was a nice surprise! He was already getting to see you again. The day must have just flown by so fast he...didn’t remember any of it. Huh. This seemed like something he wouldn’t forget. He spotted you walking down the stairs to him and resolved to smile and greet you instead. “Why, hello human!” 

You didn’t answer but continued to approach, strangely quiet. Maybe you hadn’t heard him. He waited until you were directly in front of him before he held out his hands in a hug of friendship. “Hello, human! How are you?” 

Your eyes scanned him briefly. You didn’t look happy to see him. After a few seconds, you finally spoke. “Let’s fuck,” you said lowly. 

Papyrus’ jaw nearly dropped. “Excuse me?!” But you were already walking back to your apartment. He couldn’t believe he heard what he thought he heard. He hurried after you. “Human, did you just say what I think you said?” He asked, following you into your apartment. 

“Did I stutter?” You asked.

“I don’t think so. Unless that swear word means something else that I don’t know about,” he managed. You slipped off your shirt and Papyrus had to reflexively not look away. He had seen you naked so he remained rooted to his spot. You looked determined. 

You turned your back toward him and gestured to your battle ready attachment. “Here. Take it off.” 

“Right, uh…” Papyrus looked to find where the armor clasps were and scratched his skull. “This seems like a more advanced puzzle.” 

“Just rip it off,” you said listlessly. 

“It looks expensive. Just give me a minute or two.” You said nothing further but allowed him to fumble with the armor. Oh wow. He was starting to get nervous. Is this what they called performance anxiety? He hoped he didn’t get this when he was on stage with you.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he finally unclasped the locking mechanisms and freed your perky breasts. You didn’t look at him, instead shedding your pants and climbing on to your bed. “C’mon, let’s get this over with.” 

He did not follow. There was something wrong about what you said. He heard you say it before. The last time he had imagined making love to you, you were flirty and playful. But this was the exact opposite. He wanted to ask what was wrong but it didn’t look like you had much patience for long questions. “Maybe we should talk first?” he suggested. 

“Maybe you should shut the hell up.”

“Hey! That is rude!” He exclaimed. You looked up at him, your eyes dull. 

“Are we doing this or what? Do you want me to get someone else so you can watch?” 

Papyrus really did not want that and he definitely did not want to even see you do something this intimate with someone else. “Wait, wait. Just let me sit down,” he acquiesced, sliding off his boots and sitting on the bed. “Let’s start slow, okay?” 

You shrugged but pressed your lips against his teeth. The contact felt good but there was something missing. A spark. He let his hands travel down your arms, noting with some apprehension that your normally soft skin felt rough, almost like concrete. He could even tell you were cold. He tried to put some heat into your arms only for you to back out of the kiss, annoyed. “What are you doing?” 

“You’re cold.”

“So? Didn’t bother you earlier when I was cold.” 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Take your pants off.” Well, now he was very perplexed. Still, he slowly removed his pants, leaving him in his undershorts. You eyed him coldly. “You’re not even hard,” you noted. 

“This is hard,” he admitted. As much as he wanted to do nothing more than climb into bed and well, do the deed with you, he did not move an inch in your direction. He was too busy looking at how discolored and gray your skin was starting to look. 

“What? You don’t find me attractive anymore?” 

“That’s not it.” 

“Then, c’mon. Or I’ll call someone else.” 

Papyrus felt something twinge in him at that comment and he soon found himself climbing on top of you, pulling you into a kiss. He ran phalanges up your stomach and planted kisses along your sternum. You were moaning. But the noises were flat. He’d normally get chills down his spine at hearing you moan but there was nothing. He ground his hips into yours only to see blemishes and cracks forming along your increasingly fading skin.

He pulled away immediately. “You’re hurt? How could you be hurt?” He looked at your legs to see them gray and splintering. “Where did these marks come from? I thought I healed you.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” you reassured in a monotone voice. 

“This is not fine.” He was fairly sure normal human anatomy did have humans’ skin turning gray and into the complexion of stone. 

His whole world flipped as you pushed him down instead. “I’m fine, I said, everything’s fine,” you growled, climbing on top of him.”

He couldn’t push you off. You were like stone. Your hand traveled backwards and fumbled with his member before grabbing it in a steel like vice. He hissed through his teeth as you pulled and pumped it roughly. Yes, maybe it felt good to a certain extent but it was also quite painful. “Let’s stop for a minute,” he gasped as you thumbed the head. 

“We are not stopping. Everything is fine.” You seemed steadfast, unaware of his growing discomfort. “This is only temporary. But I’m fine. I got through this. I’m fine. I’m tough. I’m in control.” He didn’t think you were speaking to him. Papyrus groaned in painful stimulation as your grip tightened. This isn’t what he wanted at all. Why weren’t you stopping? He struggled against you but it really was like trying to push a stone statue off of himself. 

That’s because you were turning to stone. He saw the grey continuing to leak through your body, turning your skin into solid granite. Your bottom half had already solidified and cracked. “You should stop,” he tried again but you were emotionless. His soul quivered anxiously at this. He did not want this for either of you. Not like this. But you weren’t listening to anything he said. Maybe if he were to touch you, that could get your attention. He tried to move his arms but they felt weighed down by lead. Was he being petrified too? He didn’t know. 

The petrification was up to your chest now and your arms jerked to a stop. If he waited any longer, you were going to be a castle ornament. With the last ounce of his strength, he lurched forward and seized your shoulders, one of the few places where your skin had not turned. 

“Lori, I want you to stop,” he ordered.

The stoney contamination stopped just short of his fingertips. Your eyes finally met his, a slight shine to them. 

“Nobody stopped for me.” 

And then he felt it. The anger. The outrage and indignation of a proud person being degraded. Beaten, molested and abused and the frustration of not being able to stop it. It felt like someone had sucked all the air out of his lungs and he almost let go. 

Almost. 

You remained stoic in his grip as images. “I fought back, but it didn’t stop,” your voice dully explained. Images of what the edgy skeletons had done to you were laid before like some type of collage. Degraded, drugged, damaged. 

The images were gone in a second, a wrinkle in time and you were left alone on top of him. His arms felt lighter and he sat up to draw you into a hug. You shivered in his grip. He looked hopefully down at the petrified portion of you only to see that it was still there. The cracks splintered further. You should be better. You were supposed to be better. He had come for you. He had healed you. Why were you still like this?

“I screamed but it didn’t stop.” He clutched you tightly to him. He was incredibly afraid that if he let you go, you would crumble to dust before his very sockets. Those feelings and images flashed within him once more and he came to a cold realization. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” he tried to tell you, but his voice came out muted. 

Your eyes met his one last time. “It never stopped.” And with that, the stone overtook you.

Papyrus woke up in a panicked, cold sweat. He looked around. He was in his room. You were not here. You were not in his bed. Of course you weren’t. You didn’t sleep over. You were at your home, okay, right? You didn’t really turn to stone, did you? The dream had been too surreal for him to be sure and he clumsily grabbed his cell phone. He dialed you impulsively, only realizing after the second ring that he had no idea what time it was and you could very well be asleep. 

Should he hang up? It was ringing an awfully long time. He was trying to remember where he left the car keys when the phone clicked. “Hello?” A tired voice greeted him.

Not stone. “Hi, Lori!” He greeted, relief evident on his brows. 

“Papyrus?” 

“Yes it is me, eh, calling!” He had to stall, “How are you?” 

“I’m fine.” He felt his soul drop and he almost missed the follow up “You?” 

You were not fine. He realized you had asked him a question. “Oh. I, I am okay. What are you doing right now?” He asked worriedly. He was hoping it wasn’t anything bad. 

“Uh, doing push ups,” your voice came back slightly muffled. 

Well, that was a very good surprise indeed. Nothing bad about that. “Oh! That’s good.” He didn’t remember if you asked what he was doing. He tried to be casual, “I’m just sitting here on my bed, you know, just thinking of you.” He facepalmed at that last line. 

“Uh huh...was there something you wanted to tell me?”

“Oh yes! The reason I was calling. I wanted to see if…” He looked around quickly, “you…” he spotted the calendar with the words “Get outfit!” written onto this weekend. “Wanted to go outfit shopping on Sunday!”

“Uh...yeah. Sure, that sounds good.” He didn’t expect you to actually agree.

“Fantastic! I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?” He needed to see you tomorrow. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you at practice.” He let out a silent sigh of relief. “Good night, Papyrus.”

“Good night, human!” He disconnected the phone and remained sitting in his bed, staring at his hands. They were shaking. He was angry. He was without a doubt, angry. And this wasn’t the type of anger he had when Sans didn’t pick up his socks. No, this was a different, deep rooted anger. It felt almost like a betrayal. Like he had relied on someone so heavily only to watch them crash and burn in the most disastrous and gruesome way possible.

That’s how you were feeling right now, wasn’t it? It wasn’t just at Edge, but him as well. Maybe he wasn’t the one directly responsible for your condition, but he was ultimately the one who brought Edge to you. That type of anger didn’t go away overnight. It was something that could take days, weeks, months...years. Papyrus ran his phalanges along his skull. 

He couldn’t just write Edge off like that because he was mad at him. Afterall, everyone deserved second chances, even Edge. He had thought about trying to have you two meet again under different circumstances. A second opportunity to make friends without killing each other. It sounded fantastic at the time. A grimace settled on his skull and he stood up. Except, Edge wasn’t going to get a second chance with you. He couldn’t allow it. You needed time and support and he was going to give you all the time, support and love that you needed. And as long as you knew that Edge could suddenly come to you, you weren’t going to be able to keep that support. 

He plucked the remote from the dresser and set it to charge. It appeared that conversation with Edge would happen sooner than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the best thing is give time and separation. A fact that Papyrus isn't totally used to, especially when it involves humans making friends with Monsters in the middle of battle (cough, cough, Frisk and Undyne). Still, let's see what happens.
> 
> On a brighter note! Dresses! Dresses! Dresses! :D


	133. A Day for Mental Health

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks for sticking around! 
> 
> You may have noticed updates are coming more every 2 weeks rather than every 3-7 days. For the last few months, there have been some huge life changes for me, things that have completely changed every aspect of my life. And it's all for the best. That being said, it's taken me some time to adjust and get back in the swing of things, especially since my little brother will be marrying the love of his life in less than a month so my entire family has been getting ready for that. So hopefully after mid march, life will finally return to a better, stabler routine and updates will be more frequent.
> 
> Now as for the big announcement. The Being is coming to visit me and will be my date for my brother's wedding. We both enjoy voice acting and she can do a pretty kickass Papyrus voice. So while we are together, we will be voicing bits from both of our respective stories. I'll eventually get a poll going for specific scenes, but if there was ever a scene you wanted to hear brought to life, please let us know and we will be working on it! 
> 
> Thank you again for all your patience. :D

The next day you woke, feeling off but not as murderous as yesterday. Which was a good thing because in this world, killing people tended to be frowned upon. Unless you were Bruce Willis. But you were not Bruce Willis. Although maybe if you shaved your head...no, you were still not Bruce Willis. 

So you got dressed in scrubs, ate breakfast and headed out the door. You parked just like normal and walked into your hospital only to immediately get stopped a mere foot in by your Tina, the office manager, and Tim. 

“Why the FUCK are you here?” Tim gasped. 

“Because I work today?” You explained, cocking a head at them. 

“Tim! Language!” Tina gasped, pointing to a client in the corner. “We have a client.” 

“Isn’t that the deaf client?” You realized.

“You literally got kidnapped and tortured by some sadistic fuck who looks like your ex date and you don’t think maybe you should call in sick?!” Tim squealed. 

“Don’t worry, I had a piece of cake last night,” you tried to reassure him.

He looked like he was about to tear his hair of his head. “You think CAKE is going to make everything better?!”

“It was chocolate cake.”

Tina raised her hand. “What Tim is trying to say is that, maybe you should take the rest of the day to rest since it seems like you have undergone a rather stressful experience.” 

You stared at Tina. “Why does it sound like you’re reading from a script as if I’m mentally insane?” 

Tina sighed. “Because normally people don’t get kidnapped to alternate dimensions at this job. So I had to use the speech I had prepared for mental breakdowns.” 

“We have a speech for mental breakdowns?” You asked, “How many people have quit from mental instability?”

“Why are you still here?!” Tim demanded. 

Tina pushed him away. “Listen, let’s just count this as a sick day. I’ll pay you. Just go do something fun today and we’ll see you on Monday.” 

You snorted. “Fine, you know what. Fuck you both on this. I’m going but I’m coming back on Monday with an airphone and I will fuck you both up.” 

“Fair enough.” 

So you left your work and walked back to your car. You took off your scrub top and sat in the car for a second before flipping your shit and yelling at the radio. “I’M FUCKING FINE!”

You glowered in the car for a few more minutes before shifting into drive and motoring away. You did not want to go home. You know all you’d do if you went home would be to sit on the couch and watch dumb shows and eat the rest of the cake. Which was really, really tempting. 

“No, you know what, fuck it. I will do something fun! Something I’d post online with the hashtag #bestdayever or some bullshit like that!” And so you drove, scanning the road for something that could catch your attention. And it didn’t take you very long. 

Coming up was that arcade center. The one you had driven by many times but never thought to actually go into. Didn’t they have liquor in there too? Fuck yeah! You pulled over and ran into the arcade center. Your eyes went as big as dinner plates as you stared inside. 

Every light, sound, noise you could ever was blaring at you. And it was only 11am. The employees looked like they were in a living hell, but fuck that, there were games! And a bar! This day was getting better and better.

~~~~~

You could last exactly 2 hours, 45 minutes and 35 seconds of straight arcade games before you had a headache. And after that, it took you exactly 2 and ½ margaritas before they cut you off from trying to play the claw game anymore (That fucking game was broken as hell). And then it took them 13 minutes and 12 seconds to convince you that there was no such drink as a Blueberry Slapper and any attempts to order one were going to be refused. So you chugged an energy drink and felt every cell on your body explode.

It only took another 20 minutes for you to get on the dance machine, absolutely wired, slightly intoxicated but apparently nowhere near as terrible as the table of soccer moms downing merlot while their shitty kids were attempting to smack each other with the plastic guns from a hunting game. Of course, the employees continued to hate everyone but they seemed to hate the moms more and so you got a pass. 

You were trying to figure out how to put the coins in the game where you heard someone call your voice. You turned around and spotted Alphys staring at you, milkshake in her hand. You lit up. “Oh Alphys! It’s so good to see you!” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be working today?” She asked. 

You blinked. “Aren’t you?” 

She shifted her eyes. “Uhhh, I’m here doing field research.” You spotted the teddy bear in her hands. 

“Did you get that from the claw game?” 

“Yes?”

“That game is fucking broken as shiiiitttt!” You whined, turning around feeding more quarters into the machine. You sighed, “I got the day off because I was kidnapped by an evil version of Papyrus where I had to fight for my life and I might nearly have gotten raped but I’m not quite sure about that last part because I was drugged.” 

Alphys stared. “Woah.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I said! Anyway, my work says I might have some extensive mental trauma.” 

“So-so that’s why you’re here, playing arcade games?” 

“Doing research,” you winked. 

She turned red. “I-i see.” 

“And trying not to think about the fact that an evil Papyrus could literally come back any second and murder me because he’s a sexy, little bitch.” 

“He’s what?” 

“A little bitch.”

“I mean, he’s going to kill you?”

“Yeah. He has the ability to just fucking teleport here any second now and straight up shank me before I put this next quarter into the machine.” You paused to emphasize your point before inserting a quarter into the game. Alphys exhaled for you. 

“Oh my God.”

“Right? It feels like I have to be messed up because if I think about my situation for even thirty seconds,” you admitted, “I’ll start freaking out.” You leaned over the railing and pulled at your hair. “I don’t want to be messed up. I just want things to go back to normal.” 

“I don’t want you to get sh-shanked either!” Alphys pointed out.

“Oh yeah, not getting shanked would be great.” You stopped feeding quarters into the machine. “How many quarters have I fucking fed into this machine?” 

Alphys stared at it. “I have no idea.” 

You pushed the little button to get it to give you back your quarters but the world of simulated dance games was cruel and would not return your money. “I’ve put in enough quarters for us to do co-op,” you finally realized. 

“Co-op? You mean, you want me to dance here? In public?” 

You gestured. “If by public, you mean the thirty people moseying around here, half of which are employees who want to die inside, than yeah, in public.” 

That did not help calm the dinosaur at all. "That’s already 29 more people than I want seeing me do this.”

“Who’s the 30th?” 

“Me.” 

“Pfftt, okay. Come on, please, if we start failing, we just yell that the machine is broken and that we’re actually really good at this if only the machine wasn’t broken.” 

“Does that work?” 

“Sure does!” 

Alphys put her stuff next to the machine and climbed up worriedly. You pointed to the music selection. “Okay, see we can pick the songs we want and the difficulty-.”

Alphys shrieked loud enough to nearly shatter your ear drum. Why your ears stopped ringing, you could see the dinosaur Monster practically shaking the ground with the intensity with which she was shaking and screaming. “Oh my God! They have Denuko Hatsi Kito!” She was shrieking. 

“What is that?” 

“That’s the intro song to Mew Mew Kissy Cutie!” She was already slamming the select button before you had a chance to say anything more. 

“Oh, yah, okay, we can do that, just press the arrows if you want to go easy-” Alphys flipped over to Expert and selected it- “Or Expert. We can do expert,” you choked. 

Alphys was pumped. “I wonder if they’re going to make us do the handstand.”

“Handstand?!?!”

~~~~~

Your body was in so much pain and was so sore by the time you and Alphys had completed the 12th song, with her basically carrying your uncoordinated ass the entire way. You panted and held up a hand, the alcohol that could have numbed the pain was long gone. 

“I-I should get going,” you panted. 

“One more! One more!” Alphys chanted.

“We’ll do this tomorrow,” you begged, “please.” 

Alphys nodded. “Good idea! I’ll get to work on making a more sophisticated looking machine for dance challenges. One that requires hands and hips.”

“Oh God.”

“What?”

“Oh good.” 

And that’s how you ultimately escaped the arcade hall, sober and with most of your dignity intact. You glanced at your phone. No missed calls yet. Great. No one was missing you nor yelling at you yet. And you had some time before class. Maybe some time to cool down in the car or…

The sound of “Pop Goes the Weasel” blasted as a white truck rumbled by you. Your eyes widened. “Is that the motherfucking ice cream truck?”

Memories of you running after that truck with your short stubby little legs as a child flooded back in. And the fact that you never ever caught that truck filled you with determination. So you sprinted after that motherfucking ice cream truck. Your legs still hurt from yesterday despite being healed but you pushed through that as you saw the pictures of the confectionary goodness on the sides of the truck. 

You attempted to jump over a skateboard only to slip over it instead and land on your back. You hissed as your arm scraped the sidewalk but got up and kept running. Finally, the truck stopped at an stop sign and you threw yourself at the passenger’s side.

The short man gasped and shrieked. “Holy schit! Vat are you doing on mein truck?”

You opened your mouth to yell ice cream but stopped. “Holy fuck, are you German?” 

“Ja, is zis ein carchacking?”

“What? No, I want ice cream.” 

“Zat's it?”

“Yeah.” You glanced around, “You got Haagan Daaz?” 

“Ja. Do you know your arm is pleeting?”

“Pleeting?” You looked at your arm. You were bleeding. “Huh, I’m bleeding.” You looked at him hopefully. “Can I still have ice cream?” 

“Ja. Let me bull offer and I vill get you vadeffer you vant.”

The music carried on as you waved the ice cream truck away, the spoils of war, a chocolate ice cream cone clutched in your hand. You were still bleeding, but an airy sense of relief and calm filled you instead of being angry. Maybe it was because you had delicious sugary goodness running through your veins. Maybe it was because you were still brain dead from all the video games. Or perhaps, it was due to the fact that you were getting paid for a day where you did nothing but act impulsively, childishly and overall just for being kind of a shit. 

Speaking of which. You pulled out your phone and dialed your work. Pam’s cheery voice answered. “Hello, Sunset Animal Hospital, how can I help you?” 

“Hey Pam, it’s Lori. Can you put Tim on the phone?” 

“Sure!” You waited, listening to the hold music as you walked back to your car. 

“Hello?” Tim’s voice finally answered. 

“Hey, Tim, it’s Lori,” You greeted. 

“Hey, what’s up?” 

“Fuck you.”

It was silent before Tim started laughing hysterically and you joined in, startling anyone near you. “Glad to hear you’re feeling better.”

“Yeah, thanks for getting me the day off,” you admitted with a smile. 

“I’ll see you Monday, okay?” 

“Thanks, Tim. I’ll see you then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to let us know if you want certain scenes/chapters voiced! We will do our best.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit as of 3/26/17: Because of the amazing outpour of fanart that this fic got, I've been originally just linking the fanart at the end notes in the order I received them. But then some of our new readers are missing out on artwork that is drawn about much earlier chapters (Like writing about Chapter 12 when everyone is on Chapter 75). So I'm going to edit ALL the end notes to organize artwork by chapter (Which by this point is 90 chapters). In addition, artwork that is drawn for particular chapters, even if it didn't exist at the time the chapter was posted, I will go ahead and put links in the end notes) 
> 
> Uh, however, I'm not going to change the beginning notes which announces when new fanart is made. That's a lot of work. lol.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Papyrus's Adventures in Internet Browsing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9419399) by [We All Fall Eventually (RavenZaphara)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenZaphara/pseuds/We%20All%20Fall%20Eventually)
  * [The Halloween Camping Trip](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8366392) by [smallpersiankitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallpersiankitten/pseuds/smallpersiankitten)
  * [The One Eyed Christmas Kitten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8941354) by [smallpersiankitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallpersiankitten/pseuds/smallpersiankitten)
  * [Blankets sure are handy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10758093) by [Excel_Lynt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Excel_Lynt/pseuds/Excel_Lynt)
  * [JerJer](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11543595) by [The Being (cypherd)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypherd/pseuds/The%20Being)




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